Choices
by kat3411
Summary: Bella's made her choice, and she is marrying Edward.  What would happen if Jacob returned right before the wedding instead of after, presenting her with more choices to make?  How will those choices affect her future?
1. Prologue

_**Disclaimer: **Unfortunately, I don't own any of the Twilight characters - they belong solely to Stephanie Meyer and no copyright infringement is intended._

_**Author's Note: **Welcome to my new version of "Breaking Dawn." With the new movie coming out soon, I got to thinking about how much I really don't like this book and what happens to Jacob. I find it totally out of character for him as Alpha and leader of the Quileute tribe to imprint on a half breed vampire baby. I mean, if imprinting is all about passing on the wolf gene and making sure there is always a pack to protect the tribe from vampires, why on earth would he imprint on his mortal enemy? _

_ANYWAY . . . I had a thought pop into my head one day, what if Jacob returned BEFORE the wedding and went to see Bella? That is where this story begins. As always, please let me know what you think by reviewing. I have tried really hard to work on my writing skills for this story, so I would appreciate your feedback!_

**PROLOGUE**

As hunger ripped through him once again, the wolf crept along silently, staying close to the forest floor, losing bits of his russet fur to the brambles, never taking his eyes from his prey. He paused for a moment as the small doe bent its head to take a drink of the cool water from the mountain stream, completely unaware of the danger she was in. The scent of the deer filled his nostrils and his intense hunger drove him to attack, pouncing on its back to bring it down, his teeth sinking into its neck for the kill. As the wolf took what he needed to sate his hunger, a small part of him remembered another time and another place . . . and a girl with brown eyes he was finding it impossible to forget.


	2. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

**Bella POV:**

I was tired, but restless. My wedding to Edward Cullen was drawing closer and even though I wasn't really involved in any of the planning, that was his sister Alice's department, I was feeling some stress. Apparently that is normal for brides, pre-wedding stress? At least that's what all the magazine articles I read told me. Maybe it was because I wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea of getting married at 18. Edward was the one that insisted on getting married. It was all so old-fashioned, but then . . . so was Edward. I knew I wanted a life with him, but for Edward, the bargain for eternal life as a vampire was marriage, so, I had made the deal and was now two days away from the wedding. I was finally OK with the decision, but yet . . . something was still nagging at me, keeping me from sleep.

A glance at the glowing clock face on the nightstand told me it was after one in the morning as I threw the covers back and climbed out of bed. Edward usually spent nights here with me, keeping vigil over me while I slept, but he was gone tonight. He would be hunting with his brothers, Jasper and Emmett, for the next couple of days in preparation for the wedding. At least he didn't assign a guard to watch my every move while he was gone this time as he had in the past. I guess since the newborn threat was gone with Victoria dead, he felt better about leaving me alone for a couple of days.

It was always hard for me to sleep alone now, but I was finding it impossible for some reason tonight. Walking over to the window, I opened it for a little air then inhaled deeply as the smell of the rain spilled in. I had always enjoyed the scent of rain. Maybe because growing up in Phoenix, it had been so scarce. Resting my forehead against the glass, I stood there watching the raindrops slowly slide down the window, and for some reason, my thoughts turned to Jacob Black.

I hadn't seen Jacob in weeks, not since that night in his small, dark bedroom after the fight with the newborn army. As he laid there, his body broken, I had admitted to loving him, yet . . . not enough. It had broken my heart, and still, _he_ comforted _me_, as usual, which felt so wrong. But that was Jacob . . . always putting me first, even when I didn't deserve it.

I left him there that night and soon after, when he was completely healed, I heard he left La Push, to run . . . to give himself completely over to the wolf inside him. I knew from Seth that the other pack members were keeping tabs on him, even though Seth informed me he wouldn't talk to them. I couldn't stand that I had caused him so much pain . . . so much that he couldn't talk to his pack brothers, those guys that meant the most in the world to him. Sighing deeply, I placed a finger tip on the window to follow a raindrop as it slid slowly down the pane of glass as I wondered, _Why is Jacob haunting me tonight?_

My mind then wandered back to the kiss we shared on the mountain before that fight with the newborns. I had asked him, no begged him, to kiss me and then come back to me because I was terrified of losing him. That kiss started out as a battle between us, with Jacob fighting so hard trying to make me realize how I really felt about him, and me fighting to keep him in the "friend zone." Then it turned into something else entirely . . . something so exciting and passionate, that Jacob succeeded in making me realize how much I really care about him. Not care . . . _love. I love him_. But not enough.

Edward had never kissed me with that much passion, no matter how much I asked him . . . or begged him to. We could kiss, but as soon as I pushed him by kissing a little too rough, or letting my hands travel where he deemed they shouldn't, he pulled away. I loved him and wanted more than anything to be with him, and I was shut down at every turn. On those rare nights when I was alone, or in the shower, I would try to take care of it myself, but it wasn't enough. It was never enough. I had this need . . . this passion that burned inside that I had to repress, all the time. I felt Edward was doing the same. I just didn't understand why.

Yes, I did . . . I knew he was worried about hurting me. As a vampire, he was much stronger than me and he was worried if he got carried away, he could really hurt me . . . or worse, but I was so tired of feeling like a china doll that he was afraid to break. I mean, I loved that I always came first with Edward. Most girls would kill for a boyfriend like that. And yet . . . sometimes his over protectiveness was stifling and made me feel smothered. I longed for the day when we could let go and just . . . feel what we felt for each other.

_"You're trying too hard. Just feel what you feel," _Jacob had said to me that day he kissed me, and I did let go and it was . . . so liberating!_ Back to Jacob again - how did that happen?_

As usual, whenever I thought of Jacob now, the guilt would consume me. I hated what I had done to him . . . causing him such unbearable pain, and now, driving him from his family and the rest of the pack. I sighed again as my eyes drifted shut. I had to let him go now. It was done, over. I would soon be married to Edward, and then later . . . I would become Jacob's mortal enemy by letting Edward change me into a vampire.

Smiling to myself, I remembered how Jacob had said even then he might try to be my friend . . . even though I would stink, he had added jokingly. But I knew it would be asking too much of him, and I was done with that. I was done hurting Jacob Black.

As I let out a yawn, I decided maybe I should try sleeping again when out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw something out in the dark . . . a flicker, something glowing. I focused on the tree line and . . . there! Eyes! But not just any eyes, _wolf_ eyes. _Jacob?_

Lifting the window higher, I stuck my head out to get a better look. "Jacob?" I called softly, knowing his freaky wolf hearing would pick up the sound of my voice without having to shout. They flickered again then disappeared. _Was that Jake? Is he really home?_

Maybe it was because I was thinking about him that I imagined I saw something. _I must be losing my mind, _I thought as I began to turn away, but something stopped me. If he was out there, I needed him to know that I missed him and I did still care. Looking out over the back yard to the trees, I said softly, "Jacob, if you are out there, I miss you. I miss my best friend. And I am so sorry that I drove you away from your family . . . Billy really misses you and so does the pack."

Sighing, I hung my head for a moment, feeling rather stupid for talking to the dark, empty backyard. But there was one more thing I had to say: "I love you, Jacob Black. I always will."

As I placed my hands on the sill to close the window, I heard from below, "Is that true?"

My heart stopped as I looked down to see Jacob standing there, in the pouring rain, below my window. I actually closed my eyes and rubbed them then opened them again to see if it was really him. There he stood, hands on his hips, staring up at me. I couldn't speak out of shock, so I just nodded.

"Can I come up?" Jacob asked.

Nodding again, I finally found my voice and added, "Yes, of course." Jacob used the tree beside the house to climb up then I stepped back and allowed him some space to push his huge body through my window, unfolding it to stand in front of me. His shaggy black hair was wet and dripping down his hard naked torso as he was dressed only in a ragged pair of cut-offs. Noticing a puddle quickly forming at his feet, I gave him a small smile as I offered softly, "I'll go get some towels."

Quietly I left the room so as not to wake my dad, to go to the linen closet in the hall. I returned quickly and closed the door then handed Jacob one of the towels. He took it and dried his hair and his chest and arms then he stopped as he reached for his zipper to look at me. Nodding, I turned my back so he could remove his dripping wet shorts. They hit the floor with a light thud and then I heard him say softly, "OK."

I turned back to find him standing by the window with a bright pink towel wrapped around his waist. I would have laughed if he hadn't taken my breath away with his beauty. I know men aren't supposed to be beautiful, but Jacob is. His body is amazing . . . muscular and strong without being too obviously pumped up. And he was so oblivious to it. He had no idea how many girls checked him out when we went anywhere, which only made him more attractive.

Jacob quickly closed the gap between us to scoop me up into his strong arms and hold me tightly against his hard body. "Jake," I sighed, my cheek burning against his hot, bare chest as he buried his face into my neck and I heard him whisper, "Bella."

I have no idea how long we stood there, wrapped around each other. I was shocked at how much I had really missed Jacob, and how good it felt to have his arms around me again. Finally he lifted his head to look down at me and I let out a small gasp. Jacob looked so tired, so worn. His hair had grown out and it hung down into his eyes. There was no smile on his face, which was not like _my Jacob_, who always had a smile for me.

Reaching up, I brushed the hair from his eyes as I asked softly, "Jake? Are you OK?"

Jacob silently shook his head from side to side as his eyes drank me in. I became slightly embarrassed to realize I was clothed only in a thin tank top and pajama shorts as the night was unusually warm for early June in Washington. I was self conscious under his scrutiny, yet I did nothing to hide myself from it. Suddenly his gaze shifted from my body to my lips and I could see what he was thinking, yet again, I did nothing to stop it. As his head bent toward me as if in slow motion, I found myself nervously anticipating how his lips would feel when they met mine. His hands rested on my hips and as our lips touched, his grip tightened and he pulled me closer.

This wasn't the same kiss we had shared on the mountain before the newborn fight . . . this one was rougher, needier. Jacob was taking from me what he needed, not asking, and I was helpless to stop him. As his lips moved, his tongue pushed its way into my mouth to tangle with mine and I actually moaned. I began an inner war, telling myself that I needed to shove him away, I needed to stop this. My hands lay on his chest and instead of pushing, they ran up over his hard, muscular shoulders to lock around his neck. _Traitors._

Jacob groaned as he deepened the kiss and leaned into me. I could feel his hardness and it scared me, yet excited me at the same time. I had never been kissed like this . . . I had never felt passion and need like this, although I had wanted to for a very long time. His hands crept around to my back and down to cup my ass and then suddenly l felt myself being lifted and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist to keep from falling. Again I felt his need as I slid over him and he hissed from the contact.

As he backed me up to the wall, my hands found their way into his hair and I tugged it as his mouth slid from my lips to my throat. _Stop, Bella! Stop him before this goes any farther!_ I could hear myself screaming in my head, and yet, I was paralyzed by a primitive hunger that needed to be sated.

Finally, I found my voice and I croaked out, "Jake," to get his attention. Jacob froze, gazing at me with eyes that were black with a raw desire I could never have imagined. This was a very different Jacob looking back at me. I could see just how much he wanted me . . . needed me. It was my undoing. Selfishly giving into my own need, I attacked his lips with mine before he laid me on the bed with a growl.

As Jacob leaned over me, I could feel his heart practically beating out of his chest. His lips moved down my throat and into that hollow of my collar bone and I felt my body melt into a pool of arousal. My tank top disappeared and I gasped when Jake roughly cupped my breast and ran a thumb over the tip. Arching my back, I willed him to take more and he did, his teeth grazing my nipple before he sucked it into his mouth and I had to hold back my cry. I had never felt like this . . . ever. I never wanted it to stop.

My fingers threaded themselves into his hair as he worshipped my breasts, my breath coming faster as I could no longer put together a coherent thought . . . all I could feel, taste, and smell was Jacob. His intense heat surrounded me and held me captive.

Somehow his towel disappeared along with my shorts, and our bodies, slick with sweat, slid against one another as our lips joined and rejoined. My body was telling me it wanted something more . . . I _needed _something more as Jacob moved to lie on top of me, and I instinctively spread my legs to accommodate his weight. Positioning himself at my entrance, already so wet in anticipation, I could feel Jacob there, just barely touching me, and for a moment, he looked down at me and I lost myself in those dark eyes, full of desire. I could see the silent question he was asking, and as an answer, I gripped his head and brought it down to meet my lips just as he slowly slipped inside me.

Jacob's kiss smothered my cry as the pain of his intrusion shot through me. I had heard that it hurt the first time, and it did as he broke through, but it was gone in an instant to be replaced by a throbbing need. Jacob held still, kissing me, knowing this was new to me, until I ground my hips against him to let him know I needed to move. I felt the growl in his chest as he ripped his lips away from mine to bite down on my shoulder and I moaned in pain and ecstasy as he pulled out only to plunge inside again.

Jacob pumped so slowly at first then he set a quicker pace and I joined it, stroke for stroke, marveling at the heat that was building between us. I was working hard for something I had never felt like this before and when it hit, I felt the explosion of my orgasm rock my whole body, sending out wave after wave of pleasure.

Jacob's body shuddered and he groaned as he, too, felt the waves pass over him as he emptied into me. Our hearts were thudding in our chests, both of us panting to catch our breath as Jacob tried to roll off of me, but I wrapped my arms and legs around him to hold him captive for a little longer.

Finally, after a few minutes, I loosened my hold and he rolled off to lay on his back beside me. Looking over at him, desperately wanting to say something, I found myself completely speechless. We had both been virgins . . . what did one say at this moment?

Finally, Jacob extended his arm out to invite me to move over, which I did, curling myself into his body as his arm came down over me. I realized then we didn't need words. For now, this was enough. 

I woke sometime later to the feeling of a hand skimming slowly up and down my body. It took me a minute to realize that I had not dreamed Jacob climbing through my window . . . he was still here . . . or else I was still dreaming. Apparently I had turned onto my side while I slept and Jake was now behind me, pressing his hardness into my backside as his hand slid slowly down to my thigh, and back up, down and back, starting a slow burn deep inside me. Rolling over, I touched him gently on the cheek and when he offered me a smile, that's when I finally saw _my Jacob_. Smiling back, I leaned forward to kiss him lightly on the lips.

That kiss turned into another and another which led to our hands traveling and exploring. Jacob's touch excited me in a way I never thought possible and I was curious about doing the same for him, so I let my hand travel down to lightly run my fingers along his shaft, and was delighted when he hissed and dug his hand into my hip. Taking him in hand, I teased and stroked until Jacob groaned and pulled me to lay on top of him, where I propped myself up with my hands on his chest as I looked down at him through a curtain of my hair. Jacob smiled as he could see I wasn't sure what he wanted at first then, taking a hold of my hips, he shifted until he could slide my body down over him. _Oh. My. God._ I threw my head back and closed my eyes as this new sensation rolled over me.

Jake bucked his hips to get me started and then I quickly took over, riding him faster and faster as his hands moved over my breasts. "Oh, Jake . . . y-y-yes . . . " I moaned as quietly as I could. The pressure built quickly until I felt the spasms rack my body and I collapsed on Jake's chest, panting.

When I regained enough strength to look up at him, I was treated again with a smile as I felt his chuckle rumble in his chest beneath me. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing. You just amaze me, Bells."

Smiling back, I kissed him on the lips.

Jacob's grin slowly disappeared as a look of lust took over and he quickly rolled us so he was on top. "I'd like to feel that again, too," he whispered as he pushed himself inside me. "You looked so beautiful when you let go like that."

Jacob quickly set a pace then placed one of my legs onto his shoulder so he could go deeper. It wasn't long before I felt his body stiffen as he found his release then Jacob lay there, trying to catch his breath before propping himself up to look down at me. Smiling, I brushed his hair from his eyes and he smiled back. Again, I searched for something to say, but my mind was blank. My emotions were all over the place right now. Then I felt him lightly run a finger over my shoulder and I saw a look of concern cross his face as he whispered, "I'm sorry . . . I didn't realize . . . "

"What?"

"I must have . . . bitten you. There's a mark here." Bending toward me, Jacob put a series of soft kisses over my shoulder then added, "I never meant to hurt you."

"You didn't, Jake, really," I assured him as I remembered that bite and the thrill it sent through me. Taking his face into my hands, I kissed him tenderly on the lips to let him know I wasn't angry with him.

As Jacob moved over to lie beside me, I let out a yawn and turned away from him to settle into my pillow, deciding I liked spooning. I quickly reached back and pulled on his arm until it fell over me and I felt him move in behind me to bury his face into my hair and breathe in my scent. I drifted off to sleep once again with a huge smile on my face. 

The next time I woke, the sun was streaming through the window. Stretching out my arms and legs, I reveled in how completely satisfied my body felt until I blinked a few times and noticed that I was alone in my bed. I wondered for a moment if I _had_ dreamt being with Jacob, until I realized I was naked under the covers. Last night had felt like a dream . . . so perfect . . . I never knew sex could be like that. Running my hand over the indent in the pillow next to mine, I pulled it to me and inhaled deeply to find Jacob's scent. _It had been real . . . all of it._

Smiling widely against the pillow, I rolled to my side to shove the pillow under my head and caught a glint of sun bounce off of the huge diamond-studded ring on my left hand . . . _my engagement ring_. It suddenly felt like it weighed a hundred pounds as it sat there, glaring at me. Guilt and humiliation swept over me and consumed me as the realization of what happened sunk in. _What have I done? Oh my God, what kind of a tramp sleeps with her best friend two days before her wedding to the man she loves? _Edward was forgotten last night . . . I couldn't believe how Jacob had come in and made me forget my fiancé so completely.

Tears of shame rolled down my cheeks as I allowed myself to feel the gravity of what I had done. What _we_ had done. Sitting up, clutching the sheet to my chest, I looked around as I wondered, _Where the hell is Jake? Did he really just come here to fuck me then run again? _

After throwing back the covers in disgust, I pulled on my pajamas then stepped over to the window to gather up the towels Jake had used and found his shorts wrapped up in one of them. So he escaped butt naked out my window and ran away wolf. _Damnit, Jake!_ I thought as I glared out the window toward the woods. _Why couldn't you have stayed and at least talked to me? _

Stomping my way to the bathroom, I shoved the towels into the hamper then crawled into the shower to scrub away all evidence of Jacob Black, sobbing as I scrubbed. My skin was red when I finally turned off the water and leaned back against the wall of the shower, gulping down air as I tried to get a hold of myself. It's not like Jake raped me . . . far from it. I could have stopped him, but I wanted him, pure and simple. And the worst part? I enjoyed it . . . really, really, enjoyed it. All of it . . . every bit. And I would probably do it again, in a heartbeat. _Slut._

_But, did it change anything? _I thought about that as I dried the water from my hair and body. I knew how Jacob felt . . . he loved me and wanted more than anything for me to choose him over Edward. He had made that very clear, many times. _Is that why he came here last night? To change my mind? _I really didn't think he came here to do that, but I wasn't sure. I had to admit I had strong feelings for Jacob, and I did love him, but I loved Edward more . . . didn't I? _But then last night, was so amazing . . . to think I could have that with Jake . . . every night . . . _

_But I could have that with Edward, couldn't I?_ Looking down at my ring again, I let out a long drawn-out sigh. I had tried to live without Edward before and it literally almost killed both of us. I loved him, I _needed_ him . . . I knew we were meant to be together. _So why did I have sex with Jacob? Curiosity? Just pure lust? _Looking into the mirror at my reflection, I was suddenly disgusted with the person I saw staring back at me. "Oh my God," I muttered as I noticed Jake's bite mark on my shoulder. Closing my eyes, I allowed myself to remember that moment he bit me, as he slipped inside me that first time. _It felt so amazing_ . . . shaking my head at my reflection I grumbled, "How am I going to hide this from Edward?" _Slut, slut, slut, slut._

I slunk back to my room and dressed for work in my Newton's Olympic Outfitters polo shirt and a pair of khakis then furiously stripped the sheets off of my bed and took them with me downstairs to the laundry room to throw into the washer. I had to make sure that there was no evidence of Jacob's scent when Edward came back.

After that chore was done, I walked into our small, cluttered kitchen to start the coffee. My dad would be up soon and he insisted on coffee to start his day. Once I got it going, I found myself staring out the kitchen window at the back yard, thinking again about last night. _Where is Jake now?_ I wondered. _Should I call him? Should I wait for him to call me? Or should I just push it from my mind and act like it never happened? Damnit, Jacob!_

"Morning, Bells," broke me out of my trance with a start. I quickly turned to see my dad, dressed in his uniform, offering me a smile as he walked in carrying the morning newspaper.

"Hey, Dad. Coffee?" I asked as I opened the cupboard to take out two cups. I suddenly felt a strong need for some caffeine.

"You know it," Charlie replied as laid the morning paper on the table and sat down to open it.

Pouring him a cup, I set it in front of him as I asked, "Cereal, OK?"

"Mmm, hmm," he answered as he sipped his coffee.

This was our usual morning routine. Neither of us was too talkative in the morning, and I was glad of that right now. I busied myself getting the cereal, bowls and milk then sat down at the table to eat, lost in my own disturbing thoughts while my dad ate his breakfast and read the paper.

After a while, I was brought back to the present as Charlie announced, "Well, time to go," as he closed the paper. "I see you're working today?"

Nodding, I picked up his bowl and set it on top of mine to put into the sink. "Yes, nine to three. It's my last day."

Charlie stood up and grabbed his keys from the rack by the door. "Remember, I won't be home for dinner tonight. I have a county council meeting." With a roll of his eyes, he added, "You know how those things go. Hopefully, I'll be home before nine."

I knew he hated meetings . . . _especially_ council meetings where everyone fought and could never agree on anything. "Be good," I warned him.

Charlie's eyes crinkled as he smiled. "You know me . . . "

"Yeah, that's why I said, 'Be good,' " I explained with a grin.

His deep laughter echoed through the kitchen as he opened the door. "Well, I'll try, but I won't promise," Charlie returned with a wink. "See you later tonight, Bells."

"OK. Bye, Dad," I called out as the door closed behind him and I watched him through the kitchen window as he climbed into his cruiser and drove off toward downtown Forks.

With a sigh, I started the dish water, wishing again for the hundredth time that we could leap into the 21st Century and invest in a dishwasher. Charlie always promised he'd look into it, but he was a busy man and it seemed to fall quickly to the bottom of his priority list.

I finished the dishes and then quickly made my way upstairs to get ready for work. After pulling my hair into a pony tail and brushing my teeth, I made Dad's bed and gathered his laundry then headed for the laundry room to move my sheets to the dryer and throw his clothes into the washer before leaving for work. After glancing at the clock, I slipped into my shoes and made my way out to the truck. Right now, I was glad that I had to work today. I really needed the distraction.


	3. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

**Jacob POV:**

_"When did you get back, bro? Seth told me you were on your way, but how come you didn't tell me you were home?"_

It was early morning and I was wondering through the woods in of La Push in wolf form after running from Bella's, no real destination in mind, when Embry caught up with me. I was trying hard to be patient with him, I mean he was my best friend, and I had really missed him, but I was way too distracted by what happened last night. Talk about being freaked out! I didn't even plan on seeing Bella . . . I went there just to look at her window, to think about her, to . . .

_"Dude, what happened? You saw Bella?"_

_"Yeah, __Embry, __I __saw __her __. __. __." _Then before I could stop it, he saw it all. _Kissing her, pressing her hot body against me dressed __only __in __that __tank __top __and __shorts, __laying __her __back __on __the __bed __and __. __. __. __shit. _That I should have kept just for me. Damn this freaky wolf mind meld.

_"You had sex with her? Whoa, Jake . . . that was hot! Are you sure that was really Bella?"_

_"Yeah, I know, right? And not really what I expected at all. It was like . . . primal, you know? Like the wolf was still in charge. Once I caught her scent, I felt this need to dominate her and just . . . take what I wanted. It was intense."_

_"Fuck, __Jake. __Maybe __I __should __go __wolf __for __awhile."_ Embry . . . always thinking of a way to score. "_Isn't __she __marrying __the __leech __in __like __a __couple __of __days?"_

My heart sunk and the anger that I had been wearing constantly cloaked around me for the past few weeks came back. _"I __don't __know. __We __really __didn't __do __any __talking. __Look, __no __offense, __bro, __but __I __need __some __time __to __myself. __I'm __gonna __phase __out __and __take __a __walk __or __something."_

_"It's cool. Quil will be phasing in soon to patrol with me. Besides, your thoughts are too hot for me to handle right now . . . I'm already too horny for my own good. But, hey . . . don't leave again without saying good-bye, OK?"_

_"Yeah, __you __got __it. T__alk __to __you __later." _I phased out into my human body, which now felt so foreign to me. Staying wolf all these weeks, and just living by instinct, made all this so strange. _Walking __on __two __legs, __having __to __wear __clothes_, I thought as I pulled my shorts on. I had stopped at home long enough to shower and grab some new shorts before Dad woke up, seeing as I had left my tattered ones at Bella', but I was too restless to stay there.

Going wolf had been a nice break actually. I needed to just run and get away from all the feelings that haunted me everywhere, the anger, the frustration, sadness . . . and all my well-meaning friends and family. I knew how much they loved me and cared about me, but they were smothering me with all their looks of concern and wanting to know how I was all the time. _Damn, __how __do __you __think __I __am? __The __girl __I __love __more __than __anyone __in __the __world, __finally __realized __she's __in __love __with __me, __but __just __not __enough __to __dump __her __bloodsucking __fiancé. __Yeah, __life __is __grand._

Letting the wolf take over gave me time to get away, but not from all the voices in my head. Sam was always keeping an ear out for me, Seth, too, which I didn't mind so much until I found out he was giving reports to Bella. I was trying so hard to find a way to forget her, to put her in the past, but she was always there, in the back of my mind.

So what do I do? I find myself coming back just to stand in the woods outside her house in the pouring rain like the pathetic loser I am. Then I saw her face in the window . . . and I was stunned that she was still there! I knew I should have disappeared when she saw me. I could have run, and she would never have known I was really there. But hearing her voice, catching her scent . . . I couldn't take it. Before I knew what I was doing, I phased and walked out of the woods to see her standing there in the window, her thin pajamas clinging to her, outlining every curve . . . she took my breath away and stirred the wolf inside me.

I should have backed away, but I found myself asking if I could climb up. I was shocked at her welcome and so happy just to hold her in my arms again. But I couldn't hold the wolf back . . . he wanted her . . . _needed_ her. Before I knew it, I was kissing her, tasting her, and pulling her close, but not close enough. When I hauled her up my body to straddle me, to make her feel how much I needed her, she didn't back away . . . she clung to me and kissed me back. I didn't understand why and I didn't fucking care. The wolf was on his way to getting what he wanted . . . to be buried deep inside her.

Laying her back onto the bed and hovering over her . . . I couldn't believe it when Bella didn't push me away. I could see in her eyes that she wanted me just as much, so . . . I took her. And, oh my God . . . it was so _amazing__.__.__._being completely surrounded by her, feeling her coming so hard around me. I had been looking forward to losing my virginity for a long time, but to do it with Bella . . . like that . . .

Standing still, there in the woods, my eyes closed and I let the experience wash over me again and almost lost it right there in my shorts. Shaking my head, I took a deep breath and decided to jog over to Sam's. I needed a distraction and I was sure that Sam knew by now I was back. I needed to let him know I wasn't sure yet if I was staying.

"So, the prodigal son returns," Sam, our almighty Alpha of the pack, grinned at me as he walked in through the front door of his house to find me sitting at his table devouring whatever food Emily set in front of me. _Smart__ass._

With a roll of my eyes, I took another bite of Emily's meat loaf. _God, __this __woman __could __cook. _ I was ravenous . . . this was already my third plate of food! I nodded until I could swallow then I said, "Yeah, for now."

I saw the suspicious look he gave me as he sat down across from me. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Shoveling in the last bite, I pushed my plate away from me. "Thanks, Em. I really needed that. And thanks for the haircut, too. I feel a little more human now."

"Sure, Jake," Emily returned along with a pretty smile. "You want something, Sam?" she asked as she picked up my empty plate to step over and place a hand on his shoulder.

Sam shook his head and smiled at her then turned back to me. "So? You gonna answer my question?"

I sighed as I sat back. "I'm not really sure why I came back now . . . I don't think I'm ready to be here yet. I guess I thought . . . " I stopped as I wiped a hand across my eyes then continued, "I thought that the wedding was already over. I guess my timing was a little off."

Sam leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table. "Yeah, by a couple of days. So, what, you gonna run out of town again with your tail between your legs until Bella marries the leech? Then what, Jake? You can't run from it forever. Sooner or later you are going to have to suck it up and grow a pair."

My anger cape weaved itself around me once again. "You think I don't know that, Sam? It's not just the wedding . . . it's what comes after. I can't stand the thought of him . . . _killing __her. __Making __her __. __. __. __one __of __them!"_

My teeth clenched together so hard as I spit out that last part, I thought they would break off. Hate for Cullen raged through me . . . hate for what he would turn her into . . . everything he would take away from her, and from me. My eyes squeezed shut for just a moment and I saw her like she was this morning after she came and collapsed onto my chest . . . _her __cheeks __flushed, __her __heart __pounding __as __she __panted, __trying __to __catch __her __breath, __her __beautiful __smile __. __. __. _I couldn't stand the thought of never seeing her so alive like that again. I hoped again that maybe, just maybe, what happened between us last night may have changed her mind. I wish I could have stayed to find out, but I really didn't want Charlie to catch me there.

"Look, bro, I hear ya. I get it," Sam replied. "But she has made it very clear that she is determined to do this. You tried to change her mind . . . you gave it everything you had. What else can you do?"

Shoving myself away from the table, I stood up to pace the room. I knew Sam was right. I had given her everything I had, EVERYTHING. And last night, I gave her something even her fucking leech couldn't or wouldn't give her. _At __least __that's __something __I __could __always __carry __with __me __if __she __went __ahead __and __married __him __. __. __. __knowing __I __had __her __first, _I thought meanly. My pacing stopped as I ran my hand through my hair then looked at Sam. "Do you mind if I crash for awhile? I'm exhausted and not really thinking very clearly right now."

With a sigh, Sam nodded down the hall. "Sure. Take the room at the back of the house. It's quiet there."

"Thanks."

I walked by him toward the bedroom then stopped as Sam asked, "Jake? Does Billy know you're back?"

"No. I stopped at home this morning to shower and get some clean shorts, but, it was really early and he was still asleep. I'll go see him when I wake up."

Sam nodded then I made my way down the short hall to the small bedroom that held only a double bed, a nightstand and a single wooden chair. Closing the door, I flopped onto the bed on my stomach and realized that is something else to get used to living as a human again. Although, last night, I really didn't sleep while I was in Bella's bed.

I tried to sleep after I felt Bella's heart rate slow and her breathing even out and I knew she was sleeping, but holding her after what we just did . . . I couldn't calm myself enough to sleep. I was still in shock at what had taken place between us. _Bella_. . . that girl meant everything to me . . . I needed her just to breathe.

Then, after the second time, I knew I didn't have much time before the sun came up and Charlie would be awake. God, it was so hard to leave her . . . looking down into her beautiful face, so peaceful while she slept . . . it took all the strength I had to pull myself out of her bed and leave through the window. I wonder what she thought when she woke up and found me gone. _Did __she __think __it __was __a __dream? __Did __she __hate __me? __Was __it __enough __for __her __to __change __her __mind?_

A huge yawn reminded me how exhausted I was, so I decided that as soon as I got a little shut-eye, I would go back to Bella's to talk to her and see how she felt about last night. Making myself as comfortable as I could on the small bed, my eyes finally drifted shut, and I was out in no time.

"Jake?" Someone was calling my name and shaking me. "Jake? Hey, wake up!" I forced my eyes open to see Seth standing over me, his signature grin on his face. "Sam says you been sleeping for like six hours already."

"Hey, Seth." _Did __he __say,__'six __hours?'_ After I stretched out, I sat up sleepily and rubbed my head.

"Man, I'm glad you're back. I had to put up with Embry and Quil all alone without you here." I had to chuckle at that. They were always giving him shit because he was like everyone's little brother.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I told Embry to take it easy on you, but he doesn't always listen to me. So, what's up?"

That's all it took to get Seth going. He pulled the chair over to the bed and filled me in on what everyone on the rez had been up to for the last few weeks I had been gone. He was the one that would never leave me alone while I was on the run . . . he always wanted me to talk, but I just couldn't.

Realizing I was supposed to be listening, I tried to focus on what he was saying. "So, Leah told Paul to _'go __fuck __himself_,' and he says, _'but __it's __more __fun __with __two_.' I thought she would cut his balls off right there!" I joined in his laughter, as it was hard not to. Leah and Paul were always going at it, much to Seth's enjoyment. Then he turned serious and asked, "You're home to stay, right?"

"I don't know, kid. My timing was a little off, you know? I found myself heading towards home, not having any idea what day it was . . . I thought the wedding was probably over by now. "

"Oh, yeah. Mom and me are invited and I guess we're going." That didn't surprise me. I knew how much Seth liked Bella, and even though none of us approved, he had struck up some weird kind of friendship with Cullen.

I stood up and stretched again then walked to the open window that looked out over the back yard where a warm breeze was blowing through moving the curtains just a bit. The sun was still shining, but it did nothing to lighten my mood. The sleep had helped me physically, but mentally . . . well, nothing could really help me there.

"Jake?" I turned to look at Seth as he asked, "If you go away again, will you . . . um, maybe talk to me sometimes? I really hated that you wouldn't talk to me, you know, just to talk."

I smiled at him. This kid could cut me like a knife through the heart. I stepped over to tousle his hair. "I promise, Seth. I won't shut you out, OK? Now, your sister, I can't promise." He nodded and gave me a knowing smile.

Leah and I had a rather heated exchange before I left and she tried to get me to talk while I was gone, but I shut her out. I had decided I didn't need any more shit from her.

I finally excused myself to go across the hall to pee. Once I was finished, I walked out to the other room to find Seth in the kitchen with Emily, and Sam sitting on the couch talking to Jared. "Hey, bro!" Jared called out as I walked in. "Good to have you back. Although I hear it may only be temporary."

"Yeah, thanks, um, we'll see," I shrugged. "I need to go see my dad. I'll talk to you guys later, OK?"

They nodded in agreement and after calling out their goodbyes, I walked out onto the porch then stopped to take in a deep breath. I had really missed my dad, but I wasn't sure what kind of a greeting I would get from him. I had abandoned him and left him all alone in my selfishness to get away from the pain I felt. I hoped he had it in his heart to forgive me.

"Dad? You home?" I called out as I walked in the front door. The house looked just the way I left it . . . tiny and cluttered. I felt like a giant now in this small space.

"Jacob? Is that really you?" I heard from the living room over the TV. It was summer . . . baseball season. Must be a Mariners game on. I smiled when I found him in front of the TV with a beer and a bag of chips.

I sunk down onto the couch beside his wheelchair as he reached out to grab both of my hands. Even though his smile lit up his face, I was amazed at how tired he looked. Maybe my being gone had been harder on him that I thought. "It's so good to see you, son. How are you? Are you hungry?"

I smiled and shook my head. "No, Emily already took care of that. I know better than to come to you for food."

Dad laughed at my joke and I loved how his eyes shined as he looked at me. Sam was right . . . I felt like the prodigal son. I knew my dad could be disappointed in me, and mad as hell at me, but he always loved me. "How long you been home?"

"I stopped in this morning to shower and change, but you were still asleep. So, I went out for awhile then found my way to Sam's. Emily fed me and cut my hair then I took a six-hour nap, and now I'm here. Dad, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you alone for so long . . ."

I felt him squeeze my hands as he said, "Don't worry, Sue and Emily took care of me and spoiled me with lots of good food, and Sam, Embry and Quil took turns helping me with other things as I needed them. Of course Charlie and I have been fishing and watching games. I'm fine, Jake, but I am glad to have you back." Letting go of my hands, he added, "Although I guess I wasn't expecting you back quite yet." I noticed him nod toward the fancy cream colored paper laying on the table beside his chair. It must be Bella's wedding invitation. I guess it would be Charlie's idea to invite my dad.

I leaned back into the couch cushions before I answered him. "Yeah, I had no idea what day it was. No room for a pocket calendar."

A slight smile crossed his face as he nodded at my stupid joke. "So, you staying?"

"I'm not sure, Dad. I talked to Sam and he told me I should 'suck it up and grow a pair.' I guess I should take his advice, but I'm not sure I'm ready to do that yet."

"Well, he's right, you know. You're going to have to face up to it sooner or later. She's made her choice. "

I jumped off the couch to shout, "You know, it's so easy for all of you to spout your advice and tell me what I should do, but NONE of you understand the hell I'm going through! OK, she picked another guy over me . . . I get that. But he's a fucking leech! And he's going to turn _her_ into a fucking leech! Why doesn't anyone else get that?"

"Jacob, we all understand the hell you are going through, and you know I don't want her to become one of them either. I've know her all her life . . . her dad is like a brother to me. But, son, running isn't the answer. Leaving all of your family and friends to run and hide will not change anything. You have got to realize that you tried . . . you gave her everything you had and it wasn't enough. SHE made the choice to become one of them. The only thing left for you to do is to move on."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Move on. Really? That's your answer? I should just say, 'Fuck it,' and move on? The only girl I will ever love is going to be turned into a bloodsucking monster and I should just 'move on?' "

"How do you know she is the only girl you will ever love? You haven't even looked at another girl since Bella moved back here, and frankly, I think it's gone on long enough. You have responsibilities here, Jacob, and there are plenty of girls here on this reservation that would make a good . . . "

"Don't do that, Dad. Don't give me the 'you're the true Alpha' speech now. How I need to choose a mate to stand by me, blah, blah, blah. Look, I know who I am and what is expected of me. And someday, I will live up to that. But don't you think it's strange that I haven't imprinted on anyone yet? Maybe that's because Bella _is_ the only girl I will ever love and the almighty 'wolf gods' know that."

With a long sigh, Dad turned his head to stare out the window. I knew he was frustrated with me. Hell, I was frustrated with me! I sighed and sunk back down onto the couch, resting my forearms on my knees to say, "I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't come home to fight with you. I'm just so damn angry and frustrated and I guess I came back way too soon. Maybe I need to stay away until I can handle this shit better."

Turning back to me, Dad said, "This is your home, son. You belong here. I know this is tough, but, I'm here for you . . . I'll always be here to support you."

I let him see a smile as I reached out to squeeze his shoulder. "Thanks, Dad, for being so patient with me. I'm sorry I'm such a pain in the ass."

Dad replied with a chuckle, "That you are, Jacob. But you're MY pain in the ass. I love you, son. I'm glad you're home."

"Thanks. I love you, too, old man." As he reached over to squeeze my leg, I said, "Look, I, uh, I have something I really need to take care of. I'll be back later tonight, alright?"

"Sure. There's still four innings of this game left. I hope the Mariners can score at least one run tonight." I left him there to enjoy his game then headed to my room to grab a t-shirt and my shoes. Once I was out the back door, I stopped to look up at the dark night sky. It was starting to drizzle as I pulled my car keys from my pocket and hoped there was still gas in the old Rabbit. I needed to see Bella again, but this time to talk. I really needed to know if last night changed anything between us. I hoped with all my heart that it did, but I also knew how stubborn Bella could be. Either way, I needed to know . . . now.


	4. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3:**

**Bella POV:**

This being my last day of work, Mrs. Newton made a cake for me, and we enjoyed it during my lunch break. She told me she was so sorry to lose me, but wished me the best on my marriage and college. As Mike ate his cake, I could see by the way he looked at me he was still trying to figure out whether I was pregnant or not. I mean, who gets married at 18 these days if they're not pregnant? _Me . . . who is marrying a vampire frozen at 17 . . . _

I finished my shift at three, clocked out for the last time then made my way slowly out to the truck. I was actually a little sad to be leaving Newton's. This had been a good job for me, and I guess it was just something more that I would now have to put into the past.

We were low on groceries, so I made a stop at the store to stock up before I went home. I had decided to spend the night cooking and storing up meals for the freezer so Dad still had decent food to eat when I left. I hated the thought of him living on cereal, bologna and diner food like he did before I moved in with him.

As I made my way up and down the aisles, I realized it was hard to imagine not living with Charlie in that little white house anymore. Two more days and I would be married and on my way to a fabulous honeymoon. Of course, I had no idea where we were going. _Another surprise - yay._ I kept telling Edward how much I hated surprises, and yet, he kept planning them. I guess that was something I would have to get used to. Just like the big black SUV tank he gave me to drive around in . . . that had been such a fun surprise. Apparently I'm so fragile that I needed to be surrounded by thousands of pounds of metal to keep me safe. I smiled as I loaded the groceries into my trusty red truck. When he wasn't around, I parked that beast of a machine he gave me in the side yard, and drove my truck. Chalk it up to teenage rebellion, I guess.

I drove home, carried all the groceries into the house, put them away then started on my first dish: lasagna, Dad's favorite. I reached up to turn on the radio that he always kept on top of the fridge and hummed along as I cooked. Since moving in here, I realized how much I really loved to cook. It would be hard to give it up when my need for food was gone, to be replaced with the thirst for blood. But, I guess, after awhile, maybe I could come back and cook for Dad. I just hoped it didn't take me years to get over the newborn bloodlust of wanting to kill him. _There's a happy thought. _

While I cooked, I found my mind kept slipping back to the night before . . . with Jacob. I asked myself over and over, _why did I let that happen?_ _If I really loved Edward enough to marry him and spend all of eternity with him, why would I have sex with Jacob? Was it rebellion? Was it just being horny? Or was it how I really felt about Jacob?_

I leaned against the counter as that last thought went through my mind. I did have feelings for Jake . . . intense feelings that were a lot stronger than I thought they were. But I couldn't just throw away all the plans I had with Edward because I had an awesome night of sex with Jake . . . _could I? Should I?_

"I don't want to think about it anymore!" I shouted to no one as I cranked up the volume on the radio and started singing loudly along with Brittney Spears as I cleaned up the kitchen to try and stop my brain from driving me crazy. _Toxic, yeah Brittney, sing it, baby. _

I glanced up at the clock after I finished drying the last pan and was surprised to see it was after seven. The freezer was full, and I left plenty in the fridge to last for the rest of this week. I was tired, but it was a good tired.

After all that cooking, I decided I didn't really want to cook anything for myself, even though I was starving, so I grabbed the phone and called Jo-Jo's Pizza, my favorite pizza place, and ordered a pepperoni and bacon pizza then settled down on the couch in front of the TV to wait for it.

I was startled when I heard a knock at the door just ten minutes later. _That can't be the pizza already?_ I hauled myself from the couch and opened the door to find Jacob standing there. He had cut his hair and was wearing a gray t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and a pair of black basketball shorts. "Oh! I thought you were the pizza I ordered," I blurted out stupidly.

His wide smile took my breath away. "Nope, sorry. But it sounds like I got here just in time," he replied as he breezed by me and made his way into the living room to plop down on the couch as I just stood at the door staring at him. He turned back to ask, "You gonna stand there and wait for it?"

I gave the door a shove to close it then stalked over to plant myself between him and the TV, hands on my hips. "What are you doing here?"

"You haven't seen me in like, over a month, and that's how you greet me? Geez, Bells, no wonder I'm your _only _best friend." He picked up the remote and leaned to the side to point it at the TV.

I stared at him in awe. _Is he really going to come in here and pretend that we didn't have sex last night?_ _More than once? _I was livid.

Jerking the remote from his hand, I seethed, "Jacob Ephraim Black, you son of a bitch! You have some fucking nerve, you know that?"

He had the nerve to look shocked. I wasn't known for having a foul mouth like he did, but I was pissed and this occasion certainly called for some swearing. "Whoa, what's up your ass?"

"Are you serious?" I waited for an answer. When he just went on staring at me, I spit out, "Are you really going to pretend that nothing happened last night? We had sex, Jacob, _twice,_ and then you just disappear bare ass out my window and I don't hear from you all day? Do you think you can really just waltz in here and pretend that we're still just pals, eating pizza and watching TV?"

That's when he had the audacity to shrug and smile innocently. I picked up the first thing I could get my hands on, which happened to be a book on fishing that Charlie had borrowed from Billy, and threw it at his head.

"Hey!" he shouted as he ducked just in time to let it sail past him to land on the floor with a thud. "What the hell? I thought maybe we could sit and talk like adults about this, Bells. You don't have to chuck things at my head."

"I can't believe you! I woke up this morning to find you gone . . . was that your plan, Jacob? Fuck and run?"

His eyes grew wide as he said, "What is with your mouth, Bells? Fuck and run? Really? That's what you thought?"

"What was I supposed to think?"

Just then, the doorbell rang, and I threw a wicked glare at him. "Aren't you lucky? Saved by the pizza."

I grabbed my wallet and yanked open the door, paid the delivery guy then stomped into the kitchen. "Hey! Where you going with that pizza?" Jacob called out.

I slammed the pizza box on the table, grabbed ONE plate from the cupboard, a bottle of water from the fridge, then jerked out a chair and plopped down on it. Jacob came into the kitchen just as I was setting a slice on my plate. He reached for the box and I slammed the lid shut.

"Come on, Bells. I really did come here to talk. Why can't we talk over pizza?" And there it was . . . that _'I'm so cute you can't resist me'_ smile that I really hated right now. But of course, it got to me like it always did, so I rolled my eyes, gave a deep sigh and opened the lid.

"Yes! Thanks." He took out a slice and bit it in half while I stood to grab another plate out of the cupboard and set it in front of him. He took another huge bite and said with his mouth full, "You have no idea how much I missed pizza."

I had to smile at that. _Why did he have to be so damned cute? _

We ate in silence for a few minutes then he swallowed and said, "So, I guess you're pretty busy right now with . . . plans and stuff."

I shook my head. "Nope. Alice is taking care of all of it. I just have to show up."

His brows furrowed as he took another slice of pizza from the box. "Isn't that like a big deal for a girl? Planning her wedding?"

"I suppose," I shrugged, "but this wedding is really for him, not me. I never wanted to get married at 18. That was all his idea."

"Shouldn't that tell you something?"

I sighed and sat back. "Stop it, Jake. I can't do this with you. Not now. I can't just sit here and . . . talk about my wedding with you," I said angrily.

He nodded and actually set down the piece of pizza that was in his hand. I didn't think that was possible. "Bella, I . . . " he started then stopped and stood up to run his hand through his hair and look out the window over the kitchen sink. Taking a deep breath, he tried again, "I didn't come here last night to . . . you know, to have sex with you . . . " he turned back to look at me and add, "to 'fuck and run' as you so politely put it. I don't know why I came. I wasn't even expecting to see you here. I had no idea what day it was . . . I thought you were probably already married and moved out. I just wanted to stand and look at your window. To just . . . remember . . . " his voice faded away as he hung his head to gaze at the floor.

I stayed quiet, waiting for him to go on. "Then, I caught your scent when you raised the window," he said softly as he looked at me. "And I heard you talking to me . . . and . . . after I climbed inside and saw you, I know this will sound weird, but . . . maybe it's because I spent all those weeks as an animal, but it's like the wolf inside just took over."

It would sound weird to anyone else, but I knew exactly what he was talking about. Jake was different last night . . . much different from the awkward boy standing here now in my kitchen. "I know," I agreed quietly.

He sat back down beside me and asked curiously, "You know?"

"Yes, I could tell you were different, Jake. I was a little scared at first, but," I closed my eyes and swallowed, "then it really excited me." _Oh God, I admitted it._ _Like it made a difference to say it out loud. I'm sure he already knew how much I liked everything that had happened last night. _

I opened my eyes to find him gazing at me intently. "Bella, what happened last night, for me, was like . . . a primal need or something. I won't lie . . . it was hot. It was everything I have wanted for so long . . . "

"I know, I get that, OK? It was for me, too," I admitted as I shoved myself angrily away from table to stand up. "But it should never have happened, Jacob. I should never have allowed it . . . "

"Why? You wanted it as much as I did, I know it, I saw it in your eyes . . . and I felt it. Why should you keep fighting it?"

"Because I love Edward!" I shouted. "I am ENGAGED to him. I am marrying him the day after tomorrow!"

"But you love me, too!" he shouted back. "You made that pretty obvious last night."

"God, Jake, just stop. I don't know why I let that happen, I . . . "

Jake stood and grabbed me by the shoulders. "Look at me, Bella. Just admit it . . . please just say it. You wanted me." He shook me and demanded, "Admit it, damnit!"

"Yes, OK? Yes!" I cried. "I wanted you! And I loved it, all of it. There, are you happy?"

Before I could anticipate it, his lips crushed down on mine, and he pulled me tightly against his hard body in an attempt to possess me . . . his hands pressing, molding my body to his to make me a part of him. This time though, I was pissed and I fought back, putting my hands on his chest and shoving him back as I shouted, "Stop it, Jacob, now!"

I turned away from him and tried to get myself under control. I was shaking from anger and arousal. I wanted to keep kissing him . . . my body was screaming out for him to take me right here on the kitchen floor. But it was wrong . . . so wrong. I couldn't keep leading him on.

"Bella, I'm sorry, but last night was the best of my life, and I'm not going to lie about it, to you or to myself. I could never have imagined anything more perfect."

I hung my head and tried to figure a way out of this mess I found myself in_. I love Edward . . . I want to be with him. Why, oh why can't I let go of Jacob?_

Jacob's hands lightly gripped my shoulders and turned me slowly around then his face dipped close to mine, and I could feel his breath on my cheek as he whispered softly, "Bells, I love you so damn much, and . . ."

"Jake," I interrupted as I looked up into his eyes. "I love you, too, but . . ."

His eyes shut to ready himself for the blow he knew was coming. "It doesn't change anything," he finished for me.

When he opened his eyes again, I shook my head. "I'm so sorry. Last night was . . . so completely shocking and exciting and wonderful and everything it should be . . . but it was so, so wrong. I cheated on Edward and I will never forgive myself for that."

"And have you asked yourself why you did?" he shot back angrily, shaking me just a little. "If you love him as much as you say you do, why did you let me make love to you? Cause that's what it was for me, Bella. It wasn't just sex."

I rubbed my throbbing forehead and tried to think of a way to answer that. I had been thinking about it all day and still had no answer! "It wasn't just sex for me either. Look, I don't have to explain myself or how I feel about Edward to you, OK? I am engaged to him and I am going to marry him. Period."

"Fuck," Jake muttered under his breath as let me go and turned away. Then suddenly, his hand shot out to grab his plate from the table and he heaved it at the wall as he shouted, "FUCK THIS!"

As I looked at all the pieces of that plate lying on the kitchen floor, I realized I was looking at a picture of his heart. _What was that I told myself last night? I was done hurting Jacob Black? Yeah, I guess I was wrong about that. _As I stood there hating myself, yet again, for hurting him, I waited for him to say something . . . anything. Finally, I touched him on the shoulder. "Jake?"

I could not only see the pain in his eyes, I could feel it. It cut right through me. I heard him sigh deeply then he turned his body to face me as he said, "Bells, I understand why you have to do this. You may love me, but for some fucking reason that I can't understand . . . you _need_ him. He's like a drug for you." Then he gave me a small smile as he added, "And, God, you're so damn stubborn. When you make up your mind to do something . . . " He shook his head then said, "I've done everything I could to make you see how much I love you, and I wish things could be different . . . but . . . they aren't, so, go ahead, marry him, but, do me a favor will ya?" He reached down to take my hand and rest it on his chest over his heart.

I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks as I nodded. He was getting to me again, and I knew I had to be careful.

"Just don't rush into . . . you know, letting him change you. Take some time to live first. Spend time with Charlie and visit your mom more. You love to cook . . . take some cooking classes, try new foods . . . just don't be in a hurry, OK? Cause once it's gone . . . it's gone forever."

I couldn't speak over the huge lump that suddenly appeared in my throat. I let him pull me into his arms to hold me close and I melted into him. "And one more thing?" he whispered. "Can we spend one more night together, just being Jake and Bells?"

I looked up to see the unshed tears shining in his eyes and I caved. I smiled as I answered, "Yeah, I'd like that."

He sniffed and nodded then let me go to say, "Good. Um, why don't you take the pizza into the other room while I clean up this mess?"

"Yeah, OK." I picked up the pizza and made my way into the living room to drop the box onto the coffee table then sink down onto the couch. I was emotionally drained at this point and not sure if I could sit here and pretend that the last 18 hours never happened. So much had changed between Jacob and me. Could we really just sit here together, watching TV and eating pizza like we did when we were just best friends?

I heard Jacob pour the pieces of the plate into the trash and soon after, he walked in and plopped down beside me. I leaned forward and took a slice of pizza out of the box to hand to him then got one for myself as he picked up the remote to turn on the TV. My hunger was completely gone now, but I forced myself to take a bite as I heard Jake say excitedly, "Hell, yeah! _Terminator._ Your favorite," he added sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Just for you, tonight, I will watch it and love every minute of it."

He grinned as he took a big bite of his pizza. _Jake and Bells. I would really, really miss this._

I actually relaxed enough to enjoy myself. We bantered during the movie, and turned down the sound to say the lines during his favorite scenes, as we had seen this movie so many times, we knew them all. It was so good to laugh with him again and relive those old days. They seemed so far away now.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was past nine. _Poor Charlie_. The council meeting must be going on longer than he anticipated. I explained this to Jake and he smiled.

"Yeah, I know how much he hates those meetings. I was kind of hoping to see him. I actually missed him."

"He missed you, too. It was pretty tough to hold him back. He wanted to put out a missing persons report on you and throw up posters saying, 'Have you seen this boy?' Billy and I talked him down."

I saw in his face how much that touched him. "Wow. I guess I didn't realize how my taking off like that would affect him."

"And your dad," I added for him. "He's been pretty lonely without you."

"I know," he sighed.

I yawned and Jacob smiled as he asked, "Am I keeping you up too late, Grandma?"

"Well, I didn't get much sle. . . " I stopped and bit my lip. _Yeah, I think he knows you didn't get much sleep last night. He was there, remember?_

I could tell by his look, he realized what was going through my mind. "Um, yeah, me either."

It was quiet then. Too quiet. _Hello? Huge elephant in the room, you can leave now._

"I guess maybe I better go," Jake said reluctantly as he clicked off the TV and placed the remote on the coffee table.

"Yeah, I guess," I replied quietly.

_Tick, tock, tick, tock_ . . . the ticking of the mantle clock suddenly filled the awkward silence in the room. Jacob's eyebrows arched as he sighed then pushed himself off of the couch to walk to the door. I followed him and now we stood here, looking at each other, both of us having so much to say and yet, neither knowing how to say it. There was so much I wanted him to know, so much I needed to thank him for. He saved my life, more than once, and I owed him everything. I loved him . . . _but not enough._

Finally, Jake cleared his throat and said, "Thanks, Bells, for tonight. And . . . for last night," he added softly as he brushed a strand of hair from my forehead. "It made coming back all worth while."

That lump in my throat reared its ugly head again and I tried hard to swallow my tears over it. "Jake," I croaked. "I'm so . . . "

"Don't say it," he said as his eye squeezed shut. "Please, please don't say you're sorry. I've heard you say that enough to last forever." Then his eyes opened and again I could see how much this was killing him even though he was doing his best to try and hide it.

I gave him a small smile then wrapped my arms around his waist. He pulled me close and dropped a kiss on my head. "I love you, Bells. I will always love you. And I'll be around, if you ever need that spare option."

I nodded against his chest and held on tight, not quite ready to let go yet. Finally, I loosened my hold on him enough to look up and ask, "Jake? Kiss me, just once more, please?"

I knew it was torturing him, but I couldn't help it. I needed to feel close to him one last time. He took my face in his hands and lowered his head slowly until his lips met mine in a soft kiss that soon deepened into a more intense one until I whimpered against his lips and he pulled away to rest his forehead against mine. "It's OK, honey. I'll be alright."

I nodded as I struggled to hold the tears inside and finally let go of him. "Goodbye, Jake," I whispered.

"Bye, Bells." With one last look, he quietly opened the door and walked out into the night, pulling it closed behind him.

Suddenly I wanted to rip the door open and scream out, _"Don't go, Jacob!"_ I felt the walls closing in on me as my chest heaved, trying to draw in air. _This is wrong . . . so wrong. I can't just let him walk away, can I? __I need him too much . . . damnit!_ _I love him too much!_

I slammed both fists against the door in rage at myself and what I was doing again to Jacob, as I heard his car speed off into the night. I turned and let my body slide down until I landed in a heap on the floor, finally letting out the sobs that had been threatening to surface all night and I cried for Jacob Black. He was my best friend, my own personal sun, and someone I would always love. _But not enough._


	5. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4:**

**Jake POV:**

_Run, faster, you pathetic loser . . ._ I knew I couldn't run fast enough even inside the wolf to get away from the pain that was following me, trying to capture me and hold me hostage. Saying good bye to Bella was something I knew I had to do, for her, but it almost killed me to kiss her that last time.

_"Yeah, run you fucking coward. You're pretty good at it."_

Fuck, just what I needed. _"Thanks, Leah. You're good at making people feel like shit."_

_"Ooh, good one, Black. Tell me something I don't know."_

_"For once, do someone a favor and just leave me the hell alone. I can't handle you and your 'poor me' attitude right now."_

_"Sure, I get it. What I don't get is why you came back in the first place. You had it all, Jakey. You got the hell out of here and away from her. Lucky you. Why would you torture yourself and come back?"_

_"You wouldn't understand."_

_"Try me, shithead."_

I had stopped and was sitting in a clearing to rest when Leah caught up with me and sat down to look me in the eye. I got up and walked a ways away to phase out and pull my shorts on. If I was going to actually try and converse with Leah, I didn't really want it published on the wolf network.

She huffed and trotted over to a bush to phase and dress in a pair of short black gym shorts and a faded yellow tank top then she walked softly over to plop down on the ground beside me. I was always taken aback at Leah's beauty - it kind of took your breath away the first time you saw her. Then she would open her mouth and that feeling left pretty quickly. "So? Talk, Mopey Dick."

I took a deep breath and started out with, "Look, if I'm going to talk to you, you have to keep your snide, sarcastic comments to yourself, and . . . you don't spread it around. Got it?"

"Well, I can't promise to keep back the comments, but I'll give it a shot."

_Here goes._ "I slept with her."

It took a second to register then her eyes flew open. "Are you shitting me? You fucked perfect little Bella Swan?"

"Oh, that's so sweet, Leah. God, your mouth is more foul than Paul's."

She cackled along with her reply, "Yeah, I know. Back to the subject at hand?" she prompted.

"I went to her house last night, just to look at her window. Yeah, I know, I'm a pathetic loser," I added before she could. "Anyway, she was there in the window, and once I caught her scent . . . it was like the wolf took over and I had to have her. Maybe it was all those weeks going only on instinct, I don't know, but I asked her if I could come up and then . . . when I was with her, I just . . . I took what I needed."

She gasped in disbelief. "You raped her?"

I gave her a look of disgust. "God, no. Geez, Leah. I kissed her and she surprised the hell out of me by letting me, and that led to other things. She was a very willing participant."

Leah's eyes shifted up in surprise. "Wow. Didn't think she had it in her." I shot her another look and she threw her hands up in defense. "What? That wasn't a snide comment! I genuinely didn't think she had it in her."

"Anyway," I began again, "we spent the night together and it was . . . God, it was everything I ever wanted. But, just like I thought, she told me tonight . . . it wasn't enough. It didn't change anything." My head dropped as I felt the weight of what I just said hit me. _It didn't change anything_.

"That selfish little bitch!" Leah shouted. "She takes your V card and she's still going to marry the fucking bloodsucker?"

"Leah, you promised . . ."

"No, I didn't promise. I said I would give it a shot. But, Jake, this girl has you by the balls. I mean, you have done everything and then some, and she still doesn't get it? That's just being a bitch in my book. What else can you do?"

I jumped up and yelled, "Don't you dare tell me to 'move on.' I already heard that shit from Sam and my dad. You of all people know that's not the easy option that everyone thinks it is."

"No, I would never tell you that." She pushed herself off of the ground to step over and stand behind me. "We're both in the same fucking boat here, Jake. We each love someone, more than we love ourselves, but it's not enough for them. Bella _needs _her leech like Sam _needs _Emily. It's some kind of freaky bond that we can't understand and obviously we can't break. It fucking sucks, but that's just the way it is."

As I stood there staring out into the trees, her words sunk in and actually made sense to me. She was right . . . there was some bond between Bella and Cullen, and even though it made no fucking sense to me, or anyone else, it was there. And no matter what I tried, I just couldn't break it.

"Unless . . ." Leah started.

I turned to face her. "What?"

"When you fuc . . . uh, _made love_ to her, did you use any protection?" Noticing my blank stare, she added, "Condoms, Jake? Did you use a condom?"

I shook my head slowly. "I didn't really go there with that in mind, and . . . "

"And since you're still a snot-nosed little kid, you've never even bought any."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Snide comments, Leah," I reminded her.

She huffed. "Whatever. Anyway, what if you got her pregnant, Jake?"

_Oh my God . . . _my body went completely rigid as my brain went into overdrive. _I never thought of that! _"What? I never . . . I mean, I . . ." I stammered in my shock.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure somewhere in school they taught you that if you have unprotected sex, you might get a girl pregnant. That means she might have a baby," Leah said very slowly, like she was talking to a child. "Something her leech could never give her."

My eyes went wide as I realized what she was telling me. _I_ _could give her a baby . . . he couldn't._ _Would that be enough to break the bond between them? __But, what if she thought I did it on purpose? _I asked Leah that very thing. "That's something he would do, not me. He's the manipulator. I couldn't stand it if she thought I would do something so desperate just to get her away from him."

"But just think, Jake. If she is pregnant, you may have just saved her pathetic life. If she has a human baby, she won't want to be changed into a fucking leech."

I closed my eyes and let the realization sink in. _It's true . . . she would live for the baby. _

"Good work, Jakey," Leah said as she smacked me on the back. "You may have just succeeded where I failed. Maybe if I could have gotten pregnant, I could have held on to my man."

I looked at her and shook my head. "Don't do that. I hate it when you do that."

"What?" Now it was her turn to hang her head and turn away from me.

"Cut yourself down like that. You know that Sam imprinting had nothing to do with you. It wasn't anything you could or couldn't do. It just happened."

"Good try," she snorted as she turned back to face me. "But we both know that if I could have puppies, he wouldn't have needed _her._ Isn't that what imprinting is all about? Making little wolf cubs to ensure the pack continues?" Leah shrugged like it didn't bother her, but we both knew how much it killed her inside.

I stepped over to put my arm around her shoulders and pull her to me for a hug. She resisted at first but seeing I wouldn't give up, she finally relented and let me hold her for just a moment. "Look Leah, no matter what you think, you're a beautiful girl and I hope someday soon, you let your guard down enough to let someone get close to you again. Sam is an ass, and you're better off without him." I let her go with a kiss on the head then said, "You need to hang out with Embry more. You need some fun in your life."

She rolled her eyes and huffed, "He's a fucking moron!"

I snorted and added, "But he's a fun fucking moron. Come on, Leah. Live a little. Have some fun. It won't kill you."

"Are you sure about that?"

I let out a chuckle as I said, "No, I'm not sure. But I know that the two of us can't just wallow in our misery for the rest of our lives. Neither one of us deserves that. Come on. Let's go find Embry and Quil and your brother and dig into their stash of fireworks. They always have some hidden somewhere. I feel like blowing the shit out of something."

Leah actually laughed as she followed me. "Well, I guess I could get into that."

Embry was more than happy to pull out the stash of fireworks, and after finding Quil and Seth, we headed to the beach and had a great time setting them off. We all decided though that while the cherry bomb in the dead fish was fun . . . it was way too smelly and messy to do again.

Now, Leah and I were sitting by the fire with Embry while Quil and Seth were setting up a line of bottle rockets along the beach. "So, does Embry here know what you were up to last night?" Leah asked me with a sly smile as she threw a small piece of driftwood into the fire.

"You told her?" Embry returned in shock.

"Yeah, but she was supposed to keep it quiet." I sent her a look meant to kill.

"Whatever," she shrugged. "I know you two girls tell each other everything. So, what do you think of our boy here, becoming a man? Aren't you proud of him?"

Embry huffed and shrugged. "I guess. At least he has that memory to keep him warm at night."

"Why is my pathetic love life the topic of conversation here? Why don't you share your latest conquest with us, oh Master of Love?" I jibed at Embry as I poked at the fire to keep it going.

"Don't you mean 'Masturbator of Love'?" Leah asked snidely.

While I was laughing so hard I thought I might pee myself, Embry looked over at Leah and replied, "You know what you need, Leah? You need to get laid."

"Why, you offering?" Leah challenged him.

"Why, would you take me up on it?" Embry returned coolly.

Suddenly, I was getting a little uncomfortable with the weird direction this conversation had just taken. "Um, OK then. I think I'll stretch my legs a little while you two negotiate terms." I stood up and made my way quickly down toward the water.

As I let the water lap over my feet, the conversation that I had with Leah earlier came back to me and I allowed myself a moment to think . . . _what if I did get Bella pregnant? _My lips curved into a smile as I pictured her stomach round with my baby. _My baby_. _She would look so beautiful . . . _

Then the fantasy gave way to the practical. I wasn't old enough to be a father. I wouldn't turn 18 for five more months . . . I still had another year of high school! Bella was freaked about getting married at 18. What would she think about having a baby at 19? _Shit. I may have really fucked up here._

_But, we only did it twice. I mean, I know that technically, it only takes one time, but sometimes, it takes a lot more than that._ _She was getting married day after tomorrow._ _Should I make her move the wedding date until she takes a pregnancy test? How long do you have to wait to take a test, anyway? Maybe she would want to raise this baby with him instead of me. Over my dead body! I would never allow that. But I might not have a choice._

"Grrrrrrrrrrr!" I growled as I put both hands in my hair and pulled. _Get a fucking grip here, Jake._

"You OK, Jake?"

I turned to see Seth standing there with a look of concern for me on his face. "Yeah, kid," I sighed. "Just frustrated. I'll be OK."

He nodded then said, "So, Leah just left with Embry. What's up with that?"

I grinned as I looked out at the water. _Good for you, Leah. _"Um, I don't know, Seth. Maybe she just decided it was time to have a little fun."

"With Embry?" A look of disgust passed over his face as he got my meaning. "Eww, gross, Jake. She's my sister."

I laughed and threw my arm around his neck to lead him over to where Quil was waiting to fire up the first bottle rocket. "Yeah, I know. But your sister needs to live a little more and get out of the rut she's in. It's been too long. If this helps her to be a little more pleasant, don't you think it's worth it?"

"I guess. I just don't want to think about it . . . or see it. I'm not patrolling with her or Embry anymore."

I chuckled as we reached Quil. "I hear ya, bro. Come on, Quil, light these babies and let's watch the show."

I managed to get a couple of hours of sleep that night, but I gave up somewhere around dawn. Visions of last night with Bella kept playing in my head until I felt like I would explode. I made my way to the shower, taking care of my huge boner first before I turned the water to cold. Being with Bella was everything I had dreamed about . . . and I had been having wet dreams about her for a couple of years now, so it was a lot to live up to. I hated the thought that one night was all I would ever get with her.

I dressed in clean shorts and a t-shirt then made my way out to the kitchen to find something to eat. There wasn't much there. I guess since I had been gone, Dad didn't have to stock so much food in the house. I grabbed a box of Cheerios, emptied it into a huge bowl, added milk and grabbed a spoon from the drawer. I took my breakfast into the living room, settled onto the couch and picked up the remote.

As I shoveled Cheerios into my mouth, I mindlessly flicked through the channels. I had to find something to occupy my time or I would go fucking crazy. Thinking about Bella, and sex and babies and her wedding to that fucking creep . . . I turned off the TV and threw the remote down onto the cushion beside me. I should never have come back.

I set my empty bowl on the coffee table and sunk back into the couch cushions to stare up at the ceiling. Why did love have to be so complicated? Where was that perfect love that you see in the movies? My parents had that . . . but only for a short time until my mom died in a car wreck. Harry and Sue Clearwater had that . . . until he died of a heart attack. Leah and Sam had it once . . . until he imprinted on her cousin.

I guess it only lasted so long . . . then it was gone. But at least they shared their love with each other. Bella had never been _just mine_. Maybe she could have been, if her manipulative bloodsucker hadn't fucked things up by running to Italy to try and kill himself. _If only I had never answered the phone in the kitchen that day . . ._

_If only._ Such sad words. They don't change anything. You can't change the past. I knew that well.

I hauled my ass off of the couch and took my bowl to the kitchen and set it in the sink. As I looked out the kitchen window, I decided I needed a project . . . something to keep my hands and brain busy. I slipped into my shoes and grabbed my wallet and keys off of the counter and decided to take a trip to the junk yard. Maybe I could find a cheap car to fix up and sell. Or a motorcycle . . . anything. Just something to keep my mind off of my pathetic life.


	6. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

**Bella POV:**

"Good morning, love."

I opened my eyes to see Edward sitting on the bed beside me, gazing at me with a gentle smile, his eyes a beautiful shade of topaz. "Hey, you're back," I said sleepily as I sat up and swiped my hair away from my face.

He took me into his arms and I rested my head on his marbled chest. "I missed you," he whispered into my hair.

A pang of guilt hit me. _Stay cool, Bella_. "I missed you, too. How was your trip?"

"Good. Emmett and Jasper send their love." Then he chuckled as he added, "I hope you are ready for the day Alice has planned for you. You'll need all the patience you can muster."

"I don't want to know," I groaned as I buried my head further into his side.

"Well, she told me to tell you to be ready by ten. She's picking you up."

He gently pushed me away from him and I sighed as I glanced at the clock. It was already close to nine. "Wow, I slept late."

He reached out to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. "You were restless, too. Tossing and turning. Are you worried about the wedding?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.

If only he knew why I was tossing and turning . . . I had dreams about Jacob all night. I dreamed of us having sex on the beach, in his bed, and for some reason, in an elevator at this department store in Phoenix I used to go to with my mom. Just at the thought of Jacob, my heart felt so heavy.

"I don't know. I guess. Did I say anything?" I asked anxiously, hoping for one night that I didn't talk in my sleep. I hated lying to him, but I could never tell him the truth. _Never._

"No, you didn't, but don't worry about the wedding. Alice has everything in hand, and I'm sure it will be perfect," he assured me with a soft smile.

I was sure it would be, too. A Cullen event would never be less than perfect . . . Alice would never allow it. "I better get in the shower. I want to be ready when Alice gets here."

He nodded. "I'll go. I just wanted to see you first thing." He bent toward me to whisper, "I love you Isabella Swan, soon to be Cullen." Then he took my face into his hands and kissed me tenderly on the lips, lingering for a moment before pulling away.

His cold lips suddenly felt unfamiliar to me and I again felt guilt twist the knife in my heart. "I love you, too," I managed to whisper back.

Then with a final smile, he disappeared in a blur and I was left alone again. I dropped my head into my hands for a moment and wondered for the hundredth time how I could have allowed myself to betray him like I did. I had sex with Jacob without one thought of Edward at all! Now I would have to live with that for all of eternity.

_Eternity_ . . . suddenly that sent a shiver through me. _Stop it, Bella. You know what you want. Stop driving yourself crazy._

I threw off the covers in disgust and made my way to the shower. I needed to hurry if I was going to be ready in time. He was right about spending the day with Alice. I needed patience . . . and coffee. Lots of coffee.

I showered, dressed, brushed my teeth and made my way downstairs for my first cup of sustenance. I just had it finished when I heard Alice screech to a halt in front of the house in her Porsche. I put my cup in the sink and suddenly, there she was, in a pair of designer jeans and a light green cashmere sweater that probably cost more than all the clothes in my closet combined. As usual I felt a little dowdy next to her, dressed in a pair of jeans I'd had since the 9th grade and an old t-shirt from a vacation to Boston I took with my mom that said, "_Larry's Lobster Shack_."

"Bella! You will love what I have planned for you today," she gushed with a twinkle in her eye. Those words always scared me when they came from Alice.

"I'll try," I said with all the gusto I could muster.

Her tinkling laugher echoed throughout the kitchen. "Well, that's all I ask. Come on!" She grabbed my arm and led me out to the car. Once I was securely buckled in, she took off with way too much speed toward Port Angeles. As she drove, she chattered on about all of the wedding plans, decorations, table centerpieces, the cake, the food . . . I kind of tuned out after awhile. I hated that I didn't really care about any of the details. I should, but I just didn't.

Finally she pulled up to a small building that looked like the kind of cottage that Hansel and Gretel would have visited. I found myself hoping there was no witch inside. "Where are we?" I asked as I climbed out of the car.

"Now, keep an open mind," she said cautiously. More words that terrified me coming from Alice. I followed her to the door and when we walked inside, I saw a huge menu chalkboard with "_Spa Treatments_" written at the top and several things listed underneath.

"A spa? You brought me to a spa?" I asked in disbelief.

She nodded with her sparkling smile. "I have already scheduled you for a facial and a warm stone massage. Now come on, Bella, don't give me that look." I was trying hard to hide my disdain for anything girly, but she always saw right through me. "At least I'm not insisting you get your nails done. Although . . . "

"No, the facial and the massage are fine," I said quickly hiding my hands behind my back before she ordered anything else from the cute, perky blonde girl with the big boobs behind the counter.

Alice talked to the girl at the counter while I looked around and decided it wouldn't be so bad. I was wound up so tight from all that had happened the last couple of days, I could use some relaxation.

"Alright. Everything is set. I have errands to run for the wedding, so I will be back to pick you up in a couple of hours."

I gave Alice a genuine smile. She really did love me and she always did her best to see that I was happy. I hoped that someday, I could return the favor. "Thanks, Alice. I do really need this."

"I know," she said with a wink. "Enjoy!" And with that, she whisked out the door and I was left with Miss Perky.

"OK! Are you ready for some girl time?" Miss Perky chirped at me, revealing a very nice set of white teeth that I am sure cost her parents quite a bit in orthodontics.

"Sure, why not." I followed her down a short hallway where she ushered me into a small room then gave me a big, soft, fluffy robe to change into and some pink fuzzy slippers that she told me were a gift for me from Alice. I had to laugh when I looked down at them to see HERE COMES THE BRIDE written across each toe of the slippers. Definitely Alice.

Once I was decked out in my white robe and ridiculous slippers, I followed Miss Perky, who told me her name was Bambi, big shock, to another room that was lit with candles and smelled like sandalwood. She invited me sit in the chair and let me know that Candace would be in to give me my facial.

A very pretty older woman who introduced herself as Candace came in directly and chatted as she proceeded to wipe all kinds of lotions and goo all over my face. She explained to me what each one was for, but since I really didn't care, I couldn't repeat a word of what she told me. It did feel good though, especially when she left this green, gooey stuff on my face and added a huge slice of cucumber over each eye.

"OK, I'm going to recline the chair a bit and let you just relax while this mask sets. I'll be back to rinse it off in a little while." She closed the door quietly behind her and I was left alone, listening to a nature CD of some sort with water flowing and wind chimes tinkling.

I must have dozed off because the next thing I know, Candace is plucking the cucumbers off of my eyes and rinsing the goo from my face. "Now, run your hand along your cheek. Isn't that wonderful?"

I touched my cheek and thought, _Feels like my cheek. _I guess I really needed to get more in touch with my girly , I smiled and nodded as I murmured, "Wow, it's so soft."

"I know!" she gushed. "Your skin is glowing. You are going to be a beautiful bride."

_A beautiful bride_. _I still couldn't believe I let Edward talk me into getting married,_ I thought as I followed Candace to my next treatment.

"Alright, Bella, once I leave, take off your robe, lay face down on this table and cover yourself with the sheet. Tracy will be in to give you your warm stone massage. Enjoy it . . . it feels great!" She closed the door behind her and I looked around. Again, candles lit the room and there was a different smell, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. _Jasmine, maybe?_

I sighed and removed my robe and slippers, trying hard not to imagine there was a hole drilled in the wall somewhere with a video camera taping me to put on the internet. I laid on the table and pulled the sheet over me just as there was a knock on the door. "Come in," I called out.

A tall brunette walked through the door introducing herself as Tracy. She explained what she would be doing and told me to just close my eyes, clear my mind, and relax. A tall order, but I assured her I would try.

She gave me a massage and I have to admit, as her hands worked on my tensed muscles, it felt wonderful. Then she took some large, flat stones that she had heated and placed them on certain points of my shoulders and back. I practically melted as the heat soaked into my body. She then informed me she would step out and give me some time to relax alone and she closed the door softly behind her.

As I lay there with my eyes closed, surrounded by the heat from the stones, Jacob came to mind. I always melted into the heat from his body and it felt so good. Then flashes of the other night crept in and I selfishly relived it again. _His lips on mine, not soft and gentle, but rough and needy. His tongue caressing mine as his hands caressed my breasts, pinching and rolling my nipple before taking it into his mouth. How hard he was and how it felt when he pushed into me and then moving in and out, in and out . . . _

My eyes flew open as I realized what I was doing. _Oh my God, I have to stop this. _If I'm going to fantasize, I need to think of Edward. I would be his wife tomorrow, and I hoped that on our honeymoon, he would _finally_ agree to us making love. Once I had that with Edward, I could stop thinking of Jake. I knew I could. I hoped I could. _Why did it have to hurt so much to think of Jacob?_

My relaxation was shot now, and I was anxious to get out of here. Finally, Tracy returned to remove the stones, and I was led to a place to shower then dress. Once I dressed and had my pink fuzzy slippers in hand, I found my way back to the front and there was Alice, waiting for me with her dazzling smile.

"So? How was it?" she asked excitedly.

I rewarded her with a smile of my own. "It was really relaxing. Thanks, Alice. I needed that."

"Great! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Ready to go?"

I nodded and said my good byes to Bambi, and followed Alice to the car. I wished that Alice could eat, because it was now after one and I was starving. Of course, Alice realized that and pulled the car over at a little restaurant along the waterfront. "I can hear your stomach growling, Bella. Why don't you get some lunch while I check on the cake?"

I nodded and got out of the car to walk into the sandwich shop as Alice walked on down the street to the bakery with a wave. It wasn't very crowded at this time, and as I looked around, I was shocked to see Embry, sitting at a little table with . . . _Leah Clearwater?_ I told myself to leave it alone, but soon my feet betrayed me and walked me right over to their table.

I touched his shoulder briefly as I said, "Hey, Embry."

He turned quickly and jumped up almost knocking the chair over. "Bella! Wow! Come here," he said as he scooped me up into a hug. "You look great, and you smell really good."

I smiled at that. "I just came from the spa. Alice made the appointment for me. Not really my thing, but I have to admit, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

I looked across the table to see Leah scowling at me. She had never been my biggest fan, so it really didn't surprise me. "Hi, Leah." All I got from her was a curt nod.

"So, you all ready for the big day?" Embry asked.

"I guess. Alice is taking care of everything. I'm here to grab a sandwich while she checks on the cake."

He nodded and looked at me like he knew something. I wondered then if Jake told him what happened between us. Of course he did, I realized. Embry was his best friend, he told him everything. Suddenly, I felt a little exposed.

"Well, um, I'm going to go and get my sandwich. Have a good day," I told them.

"Sure. See ya, Bella," Embry returned as I walked away. I missed Embry and Quil. They were always so much fun back in the days when I was hanging out in the garage with Jake, working on the bikes. That seemed like a lifetime ago now.

I stepped up to the counter and ordered a turkey sandwich and a drink then sat down at a table by the window to wait for them to bring it to me. As I stared out at the boats on the water, I remembered how easy going Jacob had been back then . . . before he changed into a giant wolf. We were just Jake and Bells . . . hanging out, doing homework, watching movies on TV, eating pizza. Life was simple, and good_. Really good. _

My sandwich arrived and as I dug into it hungrily, I glanced over at Leah and Embry's table then smiled behind my napkin. _I wonder if Jake knows they're here. Maybe I should call . . ._ _no, stupid, you can't call him._ _You told him good-bye, remember? _That pang in my heart reminded me I had to let him go.

I sighed and took another bite of my sandwich as Embry and Leah got up to leave. Before they walked out the door, Embry turned to me and smiled. "Bye, Bella. Good luck."

I smiled back and took a sip of my drink. _Good luck? What did he mean by that?_

Alice returned and instead of driving me home, she took me to her house as she insisted on a final dress fitting. We walked in to find an army of people all over the place, hanging decorations, bringing in flowers, setting up chairs. Esme was talking to who I assumed to be the caterer on the phone, as she was trying hard to explain what type of crab cakes she wanted served. She smiled and waved as I walked by.

I followed Alice up the stairs to a room that had been set up with a huge three way mirror. "Alright, slip out of those clothes, and I will get your dress."

I took off my jeans and shirt, and stood there waiting, feeling very exposed in just my bra and panties. I was glad now that I had covered Jacob's bite on my shoulder with a bandage this morning. As klutzy as I was, I figured it wouldn't make anyone too suspicious.

She came back and hung this huge white bag on the back of the door then unzipped it to take out the designer gown that had been made just for me. "Isn't it gorgeous?"

As she helped me step into it, she asked, "Bella? What did you do now?" motioning to the bandage on my shoulder.

I gave her a small smile and began the lie I had concocted. "I, um, was playing around last night with my hair, you know, trying to come up with something for the wedding? I got my hair tangled in the stupid curling iron and as I was trying to get it out, it landed on my shoulder and put a nice size burn there. I put some burn cream on it that I had left from the time I burned my hand taking cookies out of the oven, and covered it. It's not that bad, so I'm sure it will heal quickly."

Alice smiled and shook her head. "What are we going to do with you?"

I shrugged with an innocent-looking smile, glad that she had bought my lie as she proceeded to button all the little pearl buttons up the back of the dress. When she finished, I looked into the mirror at this person staring back at me and I wondered for a moment who she was. It couldn't be me. I wasn't the kind of girl who would wear a flowing white, designer gown, with puffy long sleeves and a neckline all the way to my chin. It was very old-fashioned looking, not sleek and stylish like I had hoped for.

Trying to hide my disappointment, I smiled at Alice and said, "Wow, the beadwork is beautiful." I didn't lie . . . it was pretty.

"I know! I planned the whole wedding around your engagement ring and I think she did a wonderful job with the beading. It's just perfect. We took the design from a picture of Edward's mother in her wedding gown." Let's see, that would have been around the turn of the _last_ century. That explained a lot.

I nodded and asked about the veil. She pulled it off of the hanger and explained that my hair would be put up, and the veil would be hooked underneath it. That I actually kind of liked.

She had me try on the matching shoes to make sure they fit and that the hem was just right. Of course, it was perfect.

Alice clapped her hands and smiled. "Oh everything will be just wonderful! I'm so excited!"

It was fun seeing her face light up like that. I just wish I felt the same. I gave her a small smile and asked her to unbutton me. After I stepped out of the dress, Alice took it from me to hang it back on the hanger. As I dressed, I tried to push away the anxiety that was suddenly gripping me. I had a feeling it had nothing to do with the wedding and everything to do with the marriage. Why was I feeling this way? I had made up my mind months ago that I wanted a life with Edward more than anything. I was ready to give up my own life to be with him. I was fine until Jacob climbed into my bedroom . . . I quickly shoved that thought from my head and chalked it up to "wedding jitters" then sat down on a chair to slip my shoes on.

After I was dressed again and everything was secured for tomorrow, we made our way back down the stairs. Edward was there waiting for me and I immediately went to him and let him fold me into his arms. "So, you survived the spa?"

"Yes, and I even managed to enjoy it."

"I'm so proud of you," he said with his dazzling smile. "Jasper picked up your Mom and Phil at the airport a little while ago and took them to the hotel. I figured you would want to spend time with them tonight?"

"Yes, I would. You'll come, too, won't you?"

"After dinner, if that's alright with you." I smiled and nodded my understanding of him not wanting to pretend to eat in front of my parents. "Come on. I'll drive you home," Edward offered.

I followed him out to the Volvo and as he drove me home I told him about my experience at the spa. "I have no idea what she slathered on my face, but it smelled really good and my face _is_ very soft."

"I detect some guava, I think, and maybe pomegranate," Edward said.

I just smiled at him as he looked at me and said, "What?"

"You're so funny. You could smell my cheek and probably list all the ingredients she used."

"I can't help it. Vampires senses, you know."

He stopped the car in front of my house and I turned to him and said, "I love you, Edward."

He smiled his beautiful smile. "I think I gathered that from the fact you're marrying me tomorrow."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, ruin this beautiful moment with your jokes."

He pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, Bella." Then his lips met mine in a gentle kiss. As usual, it wasn't enough for me. My hand went to the back of his neck as I pushed my lips into his and licked at his bottom lip to make him open his mouth to me. He did, but briefly, and then came the gentle shove. "Bella," his whispered warning.

I hung my head and sighed. "I'm sorry. I just can't wait for the day that I can kiss you and not have you push me away."

Edward's hand came under my chin to nudge me to look at him. "Bella, you know that I am not rejecting you. We've been over this many times."

"I know, but . . . can I ask you something? And I want you to be completely honest."

"Of course," he answered, his eyes full of concern.

I had wanted to ask him this question for so long, but I had never been brave enough before. Now, I felt I really needed to know. "Have you ever . . . I mean, I know you were only 17 when you died, or became a vampire, and things were so different in your time that you probably never . . . but since then . . . "

He stopped me by putting his hands on my shoulders. "Bella? Are you trying to ask me if I'm a virgin?"

"Yes," I breathed in relief that he finally understood what I wanted to know. I saw a small smile before he dipped his head and dropped his hands, and now I felt really stupid for asking. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

He looked me in the eye and said softly, "Well, as a human, yes I was. I was very young, and you're right . . . things were very different back then. I only kissed two girls as a human boy," he smiled nostalgically. "I snuck a kiss at a barn dance when I was 15 with this pretty girl that went to our church. And then, right before I became ill, I went out with a girl in my class after school to get a soda, and she kissed me when I walked her home. Both very innocent kisses," he added somewhat wistfully.

"But you've been a vampire for a very long time . . . over 90 years. In all that time, have you . . . " He looked away and I could feel he didn't want to tell me. "Please, Edward. I won't be angry. I just really need to know."

Keeping his gaze straight ahead, he said, "Yes, Bella, I have had sex . . . but never with a human." He paused then finally looked at me again. "You know that some vampires use sex as a way to lure their victims close to them. Our senses are heightened . . . hearing, sight . . . _all _of our senses." I nodded so he knew I got his meaning. "Well, Jasper explained to me that since sex as a vampire is much more . . . exciting and thrilling, most vampires like to feel that just as they go in for the kill . . . that linked with the bloodlust they feel, well, it's supposed to be _extremely_ satisfying. I want you to know that I never did that. I have never feasted on human blood."

"I know that. I trust you. Go on," I encouraged.

"Well, there was a time, nearer to the beginning of my new life, when I became rather close to another vampire . . . a female. I knew she wasn't my mate, as Carlisle and I talked about how that felt and I didn't feel that way about her. But, she was older and more experienced and never having had sex as a human . . . I guess I was curious, so we . . . entered into that type of a relationship."

I was amazed at how embarrassed he was talking about sex with me. "And?"

I could see him squirm and I felt bad for asking, but for some reason, I needed details. "And, it lasted awhile and then it was over," he shrugged before he added, "And I am ashamed to say that I have given in to that temptation and had sex with a few other female vampires, but it was meaningless. Just an outlet of sorts."

"But, sex with another vampire . . . is it . . . enjoyable?"

"Bella, please. I am very uncomfortable talking about this with you."

I grabbed his arm as he turned away from me. "I know you are, but I need to know. You are so scared of hurting me by having sex with me because I'm just a mere human. But someday, when you change me, I guess I want to know if it will be different between us."

I finally saw a smile cross his lips as he said, "Yes, Bella. Things will be very different. Sex between two vampires can be very exciting . . . almost violent in a way, but I think when there is love involved, as there will be between us, it will be most enjoyable."

I smiled and leaned over to kiss him fully on the lips. "Good. I am very glad to hear that. I know it was hard for you to talk about, but, I feel better."

"Really? You're not . . . jealous or upset?"

"Maybe a little," I shrugged, "But I feel better now about us and the future."

"Alright then. You better go or you'll be late for dinner. I'll be by around eight?"

"See you then," I said with one final kiss.

He nodded quietly then I climbed out of the car and headed towards the house. Once I was inside, I leaned back against the door and listened as he drove away. Hearing him tell me that he had sex with other vampires didn't hurt me nearly as much as I thought it would. In a way, it made me happy to know that he had experienced it and could assure me that it would be OK for us once I was changed. I am glad he didn't mention any names, although I had the feeling that the first might have been Tanya, from the Denali clan. I knew she had made a play for him many years ago, but I never heard any details. I hope there wouldn't be any awkward moments at the wedding between her and me.

I would be so glad when tomorrow was over and it would be just Edward and me. I really didn't want to wait until I was changed to have sex with my husband. I wanted more than anything to have the full honeymoon experience, and I was determined to make him see that letting go and showing me how much he loved me wouldn't kill me. At least, I hoped it wouldn't.

Yet, way in the back of my mind, in my most private place, I was very happy to have had the experience that Edward never had a chance to have as a human . . . I had experienced sex with another human, someone I loved and it had been wonderful. Everything I could have wanted. I would savor that night with my best friend, Jacob, as one of the best of my human life for all of eternity.


	7. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

**Bella POV:**

Dad and I met Mom and Phil at a small restaurant just outside Forks. I had slipped into a little black dress and black shoes for the occasion that Mom had bought for me before I left to move here, and I was trying not to feel so uncomfortable. Charlie knew the owner of the restaurant, of course, and he provided us with a wonderful meal. I thought it might be strained, all of us sitting down together, but my parents had been divorced so long that they had learned how to behave with each other pretty well.

Mom, of course, took the opportunity of cornering me in the bathroom to find out why I was in such a hurry to get married. She had married Charlie when she was 19, and had me when she was 20, and even though I knew she loved me, I also knew how much she regretted it. "You know there is nothing wrong in living with each other for awhile. Who says you have to move right into marriage? Oh my God, you're not pregnant, are you?"

"No, I'm not pregnant," I insisted. "I told Edward everyone would think that! Believe me, Mom, I tried to reason with him, but Edward is old-fashioned about these kinds of things. We haven't even had sex yet."

Her eyes grew wide at that. "What? Are you serious? A guy that won't have sex before marriage? Hmm, I didn't think they existed anymore."

"Neither did I," I mumbled then added a little louder, "Come on, Mom, just be happy for me, OK?"

Her eyes softened as she touched me on the arm to say, "Oh honey, I'm happy for you. I could see how much you love each other when you were in Florida. I'm just a little concerned though of you . . . losing yourself. It just seems like Edward . . . kind of makes all the decisions in this relationship."

I rolled my eyes. "I know it might seem that way, but you know how stubborn I am. I'll stand up for myself on the important stuff, I promise."

I felt her smile was a little forced as she hugged me. "Let's get back. I'm sure Charlie is pretty uncomfortable by now." Poor Dad. I knew he didn't really care for Phil, and I was sure he needed rescuing. His smile of relief as we sat down again told me I was right.

Edward joined us at the house after dinner, and even Dad tried to be civil. The party broke up around eleven, with Mom and Phil going back to the hotel and Dad going up to bed. That left just the two of us, all alone, sitting on the couch. I slid over to snuggle next to Edward and kissed him on the neck. He allowed it for a few seconds then he turned his head to capture my lips with his.

I tried very hard to hold back and let him take the lead so he would be comfortable kissing me. I needed to feel him kiss me and touch me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let my fingers slide into his hair as I tried to relax against his cold hard body.

After awhile, he ended his gentle kisses on my lips and cheeks and whispered, "I should go." I opened my eyes as he pulled away to explain, "Jasper and I are going out for one last hunt, just to make sure there are no slip-ups." Jasper was getting so much better at tolerating the scent of human blood, but he would be around a lot of them all in one place tomorrow. I knew it would be a tough day for him.

"OK," I nodded reluctantly.

He smiled and laid his hand on my cheek. "Next time I see you will be at our wedding."

"I'll be the one in the puffy white dress," I said dryly.

He chuckled and kissed me one more time. "Thank you so much for going along with all of this. I promise you, it won't be so bad."

"I know it won't. I'm looking forward to becoming Mrs. Edward Cullen." I gave him a smile as he got up from the couch. He pulled me close once more then he left to meet Jasper.

After locking the doors and turning off the lights, I made my way up the stairs to my room and closed the door. As I looked around, I realized it hadn't changed much over the years. I remembered coming here as a little girl to stay with a daddy I hardly knew, and how scared I was. I would come into this room and just stand here by the door, not knowing what to do with myself.

Charlie tried so hard to make me feel comfortable, but I was so shy. I smiled as I stepped over to the desk to pick up the picture there of me and Charlie when I was about ten. He had taken me fishing, of course, and he was kneeling beside me while I held up a line with a fish dangling from it. It was the first fish I ever caught and he told Billy we needed a picture of it. It was like four inches long, but he was so proud of me. Of course, Jacob caught a fish that day, too, and his was twice as big. He teased me mercilessly about it for the next few days.

We had known each other for so long, Jacob and I, since we were kids. Then I stopped visiting Dad so often once I got to junior high then high school, and I kind of forgot about Jacob until I moved here to live. But there was an instant connection with him again, like when we were kids. It was like I never left. I sighed as I set the picture back down and willed myself _not _to think about Jacob. _Let him go, Bella, just let him go._

I walked idly around the room, running my fingers lightly over all the books lined up on the shelf over my desk, and along the dresser where most girls had jewelry boxes, or make-up . . . I had an old CD player with a stack of CD's and a bowling trophy. Yes, Charlie entered us in a father-daughter bowling tourney when I was 12 and we came in second place . . . out of four teams. Not bad for a klutz like me.

I remembered the first day I moved in here and was so unsure of my decision. But now, I knew my dad better than I ever had, and I loved him dearly. It would be very hard to leave this room behind. I had decided to leave most everything behind now and only take what I needed to the Cullen's, which meant I was taking mostly clothes and essentials. I was leaving my old life here in this room to take on a new one.

I finally pulled on some pajama pants and a t-shirt and crawled into bed. Tomorrow would be a long day for me. Being the center of attention was not something I enjoyed at all, and I knew it would be draining. But at the end of it, I would be married to Edward, the man I loved, and that's all that really counted.

As I pulled the covers up over me and settled my head onto my pillow, I reached out and ran my hand over the other pillow . . . the one that Jacob had used when he slept here with me. _Jacob . . ._ I closed my eyes and saw in my memory how he looked that night, lying here beside me, his eyes full of love and desire. My eyes opened to see the empty pillow there, and I drew it close to me and held it as I felt the pain in my heart knowing I would never see Jake like that again. I thought, _Am I doing the right thing marrying Edward now that I really know how I feel about Jacob? _I knew I had to stop trying to second guess myself. I knew I would always love Jacob, and there was a part of me that was secretly glad we shared that night. But it was in the past, and that was where it would have to stay. Tomorrow was the first day of my new life with Edward. One that would last forever . . .

"Are you almost finished, Alice? I thought you wanted me to do her hair?" Rosalie asked impatiently from the doorway. She was gorgeously draped in a shimmery silver sheath that was her bridesmaid dress. How would anyone notice me with Rosalie in the room? Alice was wearing a dress that matched Rosalie's and she looked just as radiant. I felt like an old worn book between two shiny silver bookends.

"Yes, I'm just about done," Alice answered. She had lined my lips and was now filling in the color. "There. Perfect," she said as she stepped back to let me take a look in the mirror.

The face looking back at me was very different than I was used to. "Wow, Alice. I look almost . . . pretty."

"Oh stop it. You look beautiful." Then she turned to Rose and gave her a description of how she thought my hair should look and how the veil needed to be fastened underneath. I sat there and silently wished I was the groom. I'm sure all Edward had to do was shower and put on a tux. _Big deal_.

I sat there another thirty minutes while Rose curled and teased and put my hair up then finally I was allowed to stand. "Come over here and take a look in the mirror, Bella," Alice invited. I made my way to the three-way mirror and was taken aback.

I hardly recognized myself. "It's amazing," I said softly. The hair, the make-up . . . all made me look like the kind of bride you might see in an old movie. I couldn't believe the transformation.

Alice came up behind me and put her hands on my shoulders and said, "Thank you so much for letting me do all this for you. I know you have a hard time getting dressed up and being the center of attention, but, I knew it was important to Edward, and I think, someday you will look back on all of this and be glad that you did it."

I smiled at her reflection and said, "I'm already glad, Alice. You did an amazing job. I can't wait to see what else you have planned."

She hugged me to her then turned to Rose. "We better get into place. Do you have the flowers?"

Rose nodded and handed me a huge bridal bouquet of white roses then turned to give Alice a smaller one of red roses that matched her own. "Charlie is on his way up," Alice smiled.

A few seconds later, Charlie appeared at the door, looking quite dapper in his black tux. He stood there quietly looking me over then as he walked toward me he said, "This can't be my little girl. Bells, you're all grown up."

I could see the hint of tears in his eyes. "Look, Mom was already here earlier, making me cry, and I can't mess up my make-up, so be good."

He smiled then kissed me on the cheek and took my hand. "I promise. You sure you want to do this, honey?"

"Yes, Dad. I'm sure."

"OK. I just had to ask," he said with a wink. He moved my hand to the crook of his arm and smiled. "Then let's do this."

We moved to the top of the stairs, and as the music started, we watched as Rose and Alice each descended to take their places. Then, it was my turn. Dad walked slowly and I held on tight. I really didn't want to tumble down the stairs on my wedding day. Thankfully, Alice had thought of that, and the shoes she purchased had low heels. As we made our descent, I tried hard not to focus on how everyone was staring at me. _Just focus on Edward, _I told myself.

Dad stopped in front of Edward, who looked so handsome in his black tux, along with Jasper and Emmett beside him. Dad took my hand and put it in Edward's then stepped back to sit down beside my mom and Phil.

The ceremony went quickly, with a judge friend of my dad's officiating, and I was glad. I was so nervous, my legs felt like Jello and I was afraid I would faint dead away. Soon it was time to kiss the bride, and Edward took my face in his hands and kissed me softly then gave me his crooked smile. We were introduced to the crowd as "Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen," and everyone clapped.

We walked back down the small aisle then stood at the back to form a receiving line. Edward pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, Mrs. Cullen. You look beautiful."

I kissed him and whispered, "I love you, Mr. Cullen."

Then our private moment was interrupted by all the wedding guests wanting to wish us well. I was very surprised to see Billy here with Sue and Seth Clearwater. Charlie had insisted on inviting Billy, but I didn't know if he would come, considering he knew the crowd he would be walking into. But I felt my heart swell as he smiled, and held my hand and wished me well. I had know Billy all my life and I suddenly realized how much it meant to me that he put aside his differences with the Cullens and came for me and my dad. I noticed with a pang that Jacob did not attend with him, not that I really expected him to. I had put him through enough. It was time I stopped being selfish and let him go.

Seth hugged me and Edward both as Sue shook our hands. I knew she wouldn't let Seth come alone, and be around all of these vampires in one place, but at least she was civil about it all.

Next came the Denali clan. This was the first I got to meet them all after hearing so much about them. I knew immediately which one was Tanya as she stepped forward to pull Edward close and practically purr, "Edward, I've missed you so. It has been _way_ too long." She was gorgeous, of course, tall, thin, legs that went on forever. She wore a gold dress that hugged her body in all the right places and went perfectly with her strawberry blonde curls. Even I had to admit, she was stunning.

I noticed Edward tense a little as he gently stepped from her embrace to move a hand to her elbow. "Yes, Tanya, it has been too long. You've never had a chance to meet Bella. May I introduce you to my wife? Tanya, this is Bella."

I extended my hand and smiled widely. "Hello Tanya. It's nice to finally meet you."

"Yes, it's a pleasure to finally meet the girl who has stolen our Edward's heart," she returned smoothly as she held my warm hand in her cold one. Her smile was beautiful, but I saw a certain cattiness in her eyes which made me wonder how long it had been since she and Edward had any contact. I shoved that thought away quickly as Tanya moved on and Edward introduced me to the rest of the clan: her two sisters, Kate and Irina, along with Carmen and Eleazar, who had joined their clan. I suddenly remembered that Irina was the one who had been close to Laurent, the vampire who had come to kill me and was killed himself by Jacob and the wolf pack. I could see in her eyes as she murmured her greeting and hurried on by that she still harbored some resentment for me being the reason Laurent was dead. I decided that was her problem . . . I was glad he was dead and I was still here.

The rest of them were all polite in welcoming me into the family then they moved on to join the party. I looked over to Edward with a worried look and he smiled and assured me I did fine.

The reception got into full swing and I was surprised at how the vampires interacted with the humans and the werewolves all in attendance. They held glasses of champagne and chatted and no one would ever know they weren't actually drinking it. Esme fussed over the food, and kept encouraging people to refill their plates.

Then the time arrived for our first dance, and my nerves kicked in again . . . that center of attention thing. But Edward took me in his arms and smiled his beautiful smile at me, and I felt all the apprehension just float away. Of course the two glasses of champagne I had right before that helped too.

I worried so much for nothing. The wedding went off perfectly, and I even managed to enjoy myself. But every time I looked over at Billy, who was sitting with Dad, I felt a painful pull on my heart. I hoped that Jacob was finding a way to get through today and that eventually he would move on and find someone to love . . . someone who deserved him. I knew it would kill me to see him with someone else, but he was too good of a man to spend the rest of his life alone, loving me.

**Jake POV:**

_There she is . . . my Bella. _She was dressed in a huge white gown that made her look a little uncomfortable, but still beautiful. I tried to stay away today. I didn't want to be here and see her married to him, but for some masochistic reason, here I was, torturing myself, watching as Edward twirled her lovingly around the dance floor. She was smiling up at him and I felt my heart break yet again and shatter into a million pieces.

"Honestly, Jake, why are doing this to yourself?" I heard from behind me.

"I don't know, Leah," I sighed. "I guess I'm a glutton for punishment."

She snorted as she stepped up beside me. "I guess. You're almost as good at it as I am."

I had run here as a wolf, but as I got closer, I phased back and crept through the backyard to stand here in the bushes like the sick stalker I was. I knew Leah was following me, but I didn't think she'd really come this close to the house.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"Checking up on Mom and Seth. I can't believe they really walked into that coven of leeches. The stink alone would be unbearable," she huffed. Then she added, "Plus, I wasn't sure what you might do."

I glanced at her and smiled. "Afraid I might take on a whole coven of bloodsuckers by myself and kidnap the bride?"

"You might be stupid enough to try," she retorted.

I shook my head as I watched Bella laugh at something that Edward whispered into her ear. "I might if I thought it would do any good," I muttered. As we stood there, the two of us, looking in on something we couldn't be a part of, I felt Leah reach out and take my hand.

I must have flinched because she said, "Don't freak out. I can be nice when I want to be. You need a friend, Jake, and right now, I'm all you've got."

I squeezed that hand and nodded. I did need a friend. _And booze . . . lots and lots of booze._

"Come on, let's get the hell out of here. It's nauseating," Leah stated as she pulled on my hand.

I knew she was right. I needed to go, but I resisted and stood still for just one more look. _Bella, my Bells. _I felt that no matter what happened, the rest of my life, nothing would hurt as much as this moment. I took in a ragged breath and tried to blink back the fucking tears that I did not want to let out. _Let her go. For God's sake, just let her go._

I felt Leah tug on my hand yet again, trying to pull me away. "OK, let's go," I sighed as I quickly ran a hand past my eyes. _Enough pain for one lifetime, Jake._ "You got any beer at your house?"

Leah laughed at that. "No, but I know where I can get some. I like the way you think, Black."

As I let Leah drag me away from the window and out into the woods, my brain was telling me it was time to leave Bella behind, but I knew, no matter what, she would always be in my heart.


	8. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

**Bella POV:**

After many hours on three different planes, we finally arrived at our honeymoon destination: _Island Esme_. Yes, Carlisle owned an island, and he named it after his wife. I really shouldn't have been surprised, but I was, just the same.

"It's so beautiful here," I gushed as we climbed out of the boat that had brought us here. It really was. The sky and the water were the same color of blue, and the sand so white it hurt your eyes to look at it. And it was so warm . . . I had forgotten what that felt like! It had to be at least 90. We made our way across the sand from the boat dock to the huge, sprawling white island house, which was gorgeous, of course. As we walked inside, I could see Esme's decorating touches everywhere. The man that drove the boat helped Edward with our luggage then he went back to the boat and sped away.

"So we are here, on this island, all alone?" I asked Edward.

"Yes. Do you like it?" he answered with an anxious smile.

I could hardly contain the smile that broke out on my face. "I love it! It's beautiful. Thank you for bringing me here."

Happiness was bubbling over inside me as he took me in his arms and kissed me softly on the lips. "I'm glad you like it. See surprises aren't all that bad." I rolled my eyes and smiled as he added, "Let me show you around." He took my hand and gave me the grand tour of the inside of the house. Then, we walked outside onto the veranda and he gave me a small tour of the outside. "Even the water is warm here, so if you want to swim, feel free."

"I hate to say anything, but I'm really hungry," I told him shyly.

"It's alright. I had them stock the kitchen. Why don't you have something to eat while I unpack?"

I made my way to the gourmet kitchen and took a look inside the gigantic stainless steel refrigerator where I found lots of individual meals, in containers, marked on top what each held. I took out one that said, "_Fettuccine Alfredo_" and popped it into the microwave. There was also a container that said simply, "_Salad,_" so I opened the top and added some French dressing I found on the door of the fridge, and started eating it while my meal cooked. I wandered over to the window and looked out while I shoveled the salad into my mouth. Never in my wildest imagination did I ever picture myself somewhere like this.

The microwave dinged, so I set my salad down on the counter and went to get my meal. I took both out onto the veranda and sat at the table there to eat while I looked out at the ocean. We had arrived late, and now the sun was setting over the water and it was the most amazing sunset I had ever seen . . . color so vibrant, filling the sky with oranges, reds, pinks and purples. It was truly beautiful.

Once I finished eating, I set my containers in the sink and went to find Edward. The jet lag was catching up with me and I suddenly felt so tired. I finally found my way to the sparkling all-white master bedroom, and called out, "Edward?"

Not getting a response, I looked around and then hearing water running, I noticed the adjoining bathroom door was open and realized he must be in the shower.

Stepping into the bathroom, I was taken aback for a moment when I saw his body outlined through the shower door. I was amazed to think that Edward was on the other side of that door, completely naked. I had never seen Edward naked. I smiled wickedly and decided to join him, but as I unbuttoned my shirt, I suddenly realized how nervous I was. _But this is our honeymoon._ _Isn't this what people do on their honeymoon? _Then I saw the bandage on my shoulder that still covered Jacob's bite and I quickly tried to shove the guilt away. This was my honeymoon with Edward. Things were going to change tonight.

Once I was completely undressed, I moved quietly over to the shower, my hand shaking as I reached out for the door. _Breathe, Bella, breathe. _I opened the door, boldly stepped inside and closed the door behind me. At the click, Edward turned toward me. "Bella?"

"Who else would it be?" I said with what I hoped was a sexy smile.

His body was so perfect . . . like a Greek marble statue. I rested my hands on his chiseled chest and nervously waited for him to make the first move. Then he noticed the bandage. _Shit. Why wouldn't this thing heal already? _"Bella? What happened?"

I gave him the same lie I gave Alice about the curling iron, and was happy when I saw his face relax into a smile. "Keeping you safe is a full-time job," he said softly.

"Are you up to it?" I asked.

"Yes."

He just stood there for a moment, and I could see he was contemplating what to do. "Don't think, Edward. Just feel, please?"

Finally, his head bent toward me and he captured my lips with his own. I felt his cold hands rest on my hips as he gently kissed me. I broke away to say, "I won't break. Don't be so gentle with me."

"Bella, we've been over this. I will try, but I don't think you understand the control it takes for me to be able to do this."

"Just try. That's all I'm asking." I kissed him, a little more aggressively, and he groaned as he pulled me closer. The hot water pouring over us helped me from feeling the cold of his skin. He wouldn't open his mouth to me, being too afraid of the venom that pooled there, but he allowed his hands to run up and down my body and I leaned into him to get closer. His mouth left my lips and traveled down my throat and then he growled as he lifted me into his arms.

He flipped off the water and kicked open the shower door to carry me to the huge bed, dressed all in white, where he laid me down and hovered over me. "You are so beautiful, Bella. I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. I trust you."

I pulled his head down to mine to kiss him some more while my hands moved over his shoulders. They were cold and so smooth . . . not huge and hot like . . . _don't go there, Bella. _I tried hard to stay in the moment as his hands gripped my arms and his teeth grazed my neck. One of his hands left my arm to slide down to my breast and I gasped as he cupped it. He instantly froze and looked up at me.

"Good gasp, not bad," I assured him quickly with a kiss. His hand moved to explore my breast lightly, brushing the tip every now and then, causing me to moan. He was trying too hard to be gentle, and it was killing me! I wanted him to be rough, to go with the passion that we had held back so long. To be like . . . _don't do that, Bella. Don't compare him to Jacob_. I moved under him, trying to spur him on.

"Am I too heavy?" he asked quickly, moving to the side.

"No! Keep going." I could see the frustration on his face as I kissed his cheek, his nose then his lips. "Please," I whispered. I reached between us, surprising him by taking him in hand and was pleased to hear his groan. At least I knew I could excite him. I was rather worried about that. I stroked up and down and explored until finally, he crushed his icy lips on mine and ground them against my teeth. His hand fell onto my hip and he gripped it hard as he pushed against me. I let him ravage me with his mouth as I wound my fingers into his hair and pulled hard. As his hands worked my breasts, I tried hard not to flinch. I wanted him like this . . . feeling the passion he felt for me. He was finally getting carried away, and I was sure I could handle it, even if I got a few bruises to show for it. He rolled me onto my back and settled between my legs and I heard a low growl escape from his chest.

He hesitated for a second, to look at me, and I was taken aback at what I saw there. His eyes were very dark, completely black and it was almost as if . . . as if Edward was gone and someone, or some_thing_ else had taken over. He buried his hand into my hair and pulled, his head falling to my neck as he plunged into me and I tried hard to swallow my scream. It was like being rammed with an ice cold steel rod. He stopped for just a moment then proceeded to pump me over and over until I thought I would rip apart. The headboard of the bed hit the wall so hard every time, I was sure there would be a hole there. I had wanted him to go with the passion, but now, I could see that this was not my Edward. He was being driven by something . . . _was this what he was trying to tell me about in the car the other night?_

I tried to bite into his shoulder to keep from crying out when finally he stopped and I felt him shudder with his release. He rolled off of me and when I opened my eyes, I saw there were little white feathers floating through the air, landing all over me. _Where did they come from? _

I turned my head and realized he had to bite the pillow to avoid biting me. _Oh my God . . . it was like Jasper said. The bloodlust._ I squeezed my eyes shut as my chest was heaving, and I tried hard to gulp air and calm down. _I naively thought I could handle it . . . I thought he was making too much of it, being too cautious. Why didn't I listen to him? Why did I have to push him so hard? I know why . . . to erase the memory of that night with Jacob from my mind. I wanted so badly for this night to be perfect . . . more perfect than that one . . . to prove to myself that I had made the right choice . . ._

I eased my eyes open and turned my head to look at Edward. He was lying there, very still, eyes closed, and not needing air, he wasn't panting like I was. I tried to push the panic and pain away as I rolled to my side and propped up on my elbow. "Edward?" I whispered.

He opened his eyes to look at me and I could see it there . . . the disappointment, the frustration . . . the _shame._ I bent down to kiss him lightly on the lips and then I laid my head on his shoulder. He somewhat reluctantly put his arm around me and held me as I drifted off to sleep, using all the strength I had not to cry.

When I woke, I knew it was morning, as the sun was shining so brightly, I could barely open my eyes. I blinked a few times and tried to stretch, and that's when the pain hit. My arms, my breasts, my hips, and . . . between my legs. I felt like I had been run over by a truck or something. I opened my eyes, blinking against the sun a few times, to find Edward was nowhere to be seen.

I finally moved gently to the side of the bed, looking back to see the blood there, on the sheets. _Well, at least he'll think I'm still a virgin, _I thought guiltily_. _I sat there for a moment then pushed myself off of the bed to head to the bathroom. Once I saw myself in the mirror, I almost fainted! There were bruises all over my body, some darker than others. I could barely walk from the pain between my legs and I hoped there wasn't permanent damage done there. I finally managed to pee then I got into the shower.

As I showered, I let out all of the emotion I had been holding and sobbed quietly, not wanting Edward to hear me. I had waited so long to have sex with him, to be able to show him how much I loved him, and he was right all along. He had hurt me, and I had hated every minute of it. It hadn't been loving and passionate and perfect like . . . _it was with Jacob._ That thought made me sob even harder. _Damnit!_ _Had I made a mistake by marrying Edward? _

_I loved Edward, I needed him. Just because our wedding night wasn't what I dreamed it would be didn't make the marriage a mistake. Our relationship was never about sex in the first place . . . it was about . . . what was it about? We weren't really friends . . . I mean, we never started out that way. I had been caught up in the whirlwind romance of Edward since day one . . . and then it was all about protecting me from James then Victoria. I almost died when he left me all those months, but why? What was it about him that . . ._ I had to stop this and get a grip on my emotions. They were running wild right now, and driving me to analyze this situation way too much.

I needed to find Edward, to talk to him. Now.

Once my shower was finished, I dried off, brushed my teeth then slowly made my way to the bedroom to find some clothes. I opened a couple of drawers until I found clean underwear and a bra then I went to the closet to see a bunch of strange clothes hanging there. _Alice_. She had provided a whole summery wardrobe for me, of course, none of it anything that I would pick out.

I pulled a light yellow sundress off of a hanger and drew it over my head. I'm sure this color would look so good against my pale, ghost-like complexion. I wished I had something long-sleeved to cover the bruises. I knew once Edward saw me, he would hate himself. If he didn't already.

I made my way to the kitchen to find that he had made coffee for me. I gratefully poured a cup and made my way outside to the veranda and that's when I saw him, sitting on the sand near the water, his knees drawn up. I took a few sips of my coffee then sat the cup on the table and made my way through the sand to Edward. He was barefoot, wearing a pair of white pants and a light blue button up shirt, but I could still see the sun sparkle off of his face and chest. I knew he heard me coming, but he didn't move. I sat down beside him then lightly elbowed him. "Hey, husband."

"Are you alright?" he asked, his jaw tense, his eyes never moving from the water.

"I'm fine, Edward. Don't worry so much."

His head whipped around to face me. "Don't worry? Did you look at yourself at all? You are covered in bruises, and I could tell by your gait that it pains you to walk. My God, I could have done permanent damage. I knew it would be hard to control my strength, but I did not realize the bloodlust that came along with it. If I hadn't bit into that pillow at the last moment . . . I could have killed you, Bella."

I put my hand on his shoulder and said, "Stop it. I'm fine."

"You're not fine, you're in pain. Stop trying to trivialize this!"

"OK, Edward, you were right! There, are you happy?" I shouted angrily. "I finally admitted you were right. I pushed you too hard to do something you knew you didn't want to do. I'm sorry that I put you through that. Once you change me we won't have to worry . . . "

"What? You want me to change you, here, right now, just so we can have sex? Is that all that is important to you?" he asked in disgust.

"No, that's not all that's important. But sex is an important part of a relationship, Edward. In order for this marriage to work, I don't want anything between us. Don't you get that?"

He calmed down to answer, "Yes, I understand. But I am not going to change you here. I need Carlisle to be with me, to insure that everything goes well."

"I know that and you know I didn't mean I wanted to be changed now. But I want you to understand that I want it to be soon." He just sat there, silently staring out at the water, so I went on to say, "Look, let's please just enjoy our time here. This place is beautiful, and I don't want you moping around and feeling like you're some kind of monster. I pushed you too hard, and I'm really, really sorry."

He finally gave me a small smile. "You are the one with all the bruises, and you are apologizing and comforting me? I'll never understand you, Bella."

"Well, you have a very long time to figure me out," I told him with a smirk.

He leaned forward and put a very gentle kiss on my lips. "Have you ever been snorkeling?"

"Underwater? Where there's no air and sharks and stuff? Uh, no."

He chuckled as he said, "It's not all that scary. I think you'll enjoy it."

So, that afternoon, we went snorkeling. It was scary as hell, and I didn't really like it at all, but I went along with it because Edward seemed to really enjoy it. Afterward, he pulled out books and told me all about the fish we had seen while I ate my dinner.

"And there were no sharks. I told you," he added with a sly smile.

"There could have been . . . you don't know."

"Bella, they can sense what I am. They won't come near while I'm in the water."

"Oh, I didn't think of that. But what about the other fish?"

"I guess they are just not as smart as the sharks." I laughed at his smirk and shook my head. We could do this. Everything would be OK.

The next few weeks went by quickly. Things were strained for the first couple of days, but finally my bruises healed, and with the evidence gone, Edward finally relaxed and did his best to keep me busy. We swam, snorkeled again, spent time walking the beach, watching movies, reading. We even took a few trips to the main land to shop the markets and I cooked some meals using some of the freshest seafood I ever had. And in the evening, we played board games. I wondered how many other couples actually played board games on their honeymoon. Not many, I'll bet. At night, he held me just like he always did, and I tried to pretend that it was enough.

This honeymoon kind of felt like when my mom and I used to go on trips together. I hated that I didn't have that "romantic" feeling for Edward . . . not since our first night here. I loved him, but . . . I didn't "desire" him. I guess I was afraid to feel that for him now. It made me think more about our future and suddenly, I wasn't in such a hurry to be changed.

One night, as we were lounging on the veranda, enjoying another beautiful sunset, I looked over at Edward and asked, "What do you think about actually going to college this fall? To Dartmouth?"

A look of surprise crossed his face. "You want to go?"

"Maybe . . . I've really been thinking about it. Maybe I should try it for one year, at least. Do they offer any culinary classes?"

"I don't know. We can certainly look into that."

"How soon do we need to go to get ready? I mean, there must be things to take care of . . . "

"Everything is already taken care of," Edward answered with a smile. "I've even secured a house. All you have to do is register for the classes you want to take."

I smiled at his efficiency. "Aren't you clever? Hoping I would change my mind?"

"I wanted it to be your decision, but yes, I was hoping."

"OK. Dartmouth it is," I stated as I reached out to take his hand. I thought I was in a hurry to have him change me, especially after the fiasco of trying to have sex. But, Jacob's words kept coming back to haunt me . . . "S_pend time with Charlie and visit your mom more. You love to cook . . . take some cooking classes, try new foods . . . just don't be in a hurry, OK?" _Maybe he was right. Maybe I shouldn't be in such a rush to walk away from the life I had before I had even lived it. I knew he would be happy with me for making this decision. _Why was that so important to me?_

We were now into our fourth week and I wondered how long we could actually stay away from the real world. I was on a chaise lounge, on the beach, enjoying the heat of the sun soaking into my body when suddenly, Jacob popped into my mind. I had my eyes closed and flashes of being with him played in my mind and I wickedly gave into the temptation to relive it. _His hot body, covering mine with a thin layer of sweat as he pushed into me, over and over, that sweet pressure building between us as his teeth sunk into my shoulder until finally . . . that moment of release that shook my whole body._

I opened my eyes and quickly scanned the area to see that I was still alone. I was actually breathing heavy and was too close to letting my hand trail between my legs to relieve the throbbing that was now there. I sighed and let my head flop back onto the chair. I had to stop this. It wasn't fair to Edward. I was sure that sex would be great with him if I weren't such a mere mortal.

I picked up my book and made my way back inside to shower. Edward was lounging on the huge sectional with a book and he smiled as I walked past. "I'm going to shower. Be out in a few," I informed him.

He nodded and stuck his nose back into his book.

I closed myself into the bathroom and showered away the sand, sweat and sunscreen. I was amazed at the color I was getting. My ghostly white pallor was actually turning a nice shade of healthy. As I was drying myself, I noticed how Jacob's bite mark on my shoulder had finally healed, leaving just a small hint that it had been there. If only the memory would fade, too.

Before I got dressed, I decided maybe I should put on some lotion, so I opened the cupboards looking for some when I came across a box marked "_feminine products_." I smiled and opened it to find it stuffed with tampons and pads. Alice had covered all her bases. I set it back in the cupboard then sat back on my heels to do some calculating.

_I had my last period two weeks before the wedding, which meant I should have had another period two weeks after the wedding . . . but I didn't._ I was shocked to realize that I was now almost two weeks late! I was never late! How could I not realize that I was that late? _OK, Bella, don't panic. Wait a few more days, it'll come. It always does._

I pulled on my clothes, the lotion forgotten, and made my way out to the bedroom to sink down onto the bed. My eyes closed as the realization hit me that Jacob and I didn't use any birth control when we . . . _Oh God,_ _I'm not only a slut, I'm a stupid slut. What if I'm pregnant with Jacob's baby?_

I wondered how long I had to wait to take a test to be sure. That's the one thing Alice _didn't_ plan for. I'm sure there were no pregnancy tests hidden in any of the cupboards or drawers. I sighed as I went to the dresser to pick up my brush and pull the tangles out of my wet hair. I decided I would wait until the end of the week. Then if I hadn't started by then, I would suggest we go home and I would take a test as soon as I could get away from Edward.

A pregnancy would change every thing. I would have to stay human. _Is that what Jacob had in mind? Is that why he climbed through my window and we . . . no, Jake wasn't like that. He would never manipulate me like that, no matter how much he might want to. Or would he?_

_Jacob. _If I was pregnant with his baby, there was no way in hell he would let it be raised by a vampire.

I sunk back down on the bed again and dropped my head into my hands with a deep sigh. _Oh Bella. What have you got yourself into this time?_


	9. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

**Jake POV:**

I finished the dirt bike I had been working on in the garage for the last few weeks, and was thinking I needed another project to keep me busy. I had bought the bike at the junk yard and fixed it up and I just sold it for twice what I put into it. _Not bad. _Nothing really helped to fill the huge gaping hole inside my chest that Bella left behind, but working alone in the garage kept me from spreading my misery around to everyone else. So, I decided to go back to the junk yard later today to see what else I could find. I was on patrol with Embry this morning, so I thought I might ask him to come with me.

I jogged out to meet him, and after securing my shorts with the leather band I kept on my ankle, I phased into my wolf body. _"Bout time, Jake."_ Embry sounded pissed, which wasn't like him.

_"What's up your ass?"_

_"I just don't like waiting around for you, that's all. Let's go."_

We took off to make our way around the circuit when I tuned into what was really bothering him. _"What's Leah done now?"_

_"Damnit, she's driving me fucking crazy!" _

Seth and I were the only ones that knew about him and Leah. They had been messing around for awhile now, but Leah was determined to keep it casual. She didn't want any kind of a relationship.

_"She is convinced that I want to marry her or some shit. Just because I mentioned the other day about how we should get our own place someday. I didn't say anything about marriage . . . she's the one that took it that way. I just want to have a place we can have sex without worrying about her mom or brother walking in."_

_"Yeah, that's gotta suck."_

_"I like her, Jake, I really do. A lot. But I'm not ready to get married and have kids. Shit. That's for guys like Sam and Jared. I just want to have some fun, you know?"_

_"So, did you tell her that?"_

_"I tried, but she's not speaking to me right now."_

_"Alright, I'll try and talk to her."_

_"Would you? She might listen to you. I know you guys are friends and all."_

Strangely enough, we were. Kindred spirits, Leah called us. We both knew the heartbreak of losing the one person we loved most in the world and it was nice to get together and share in our misery. Although, since Leah had been hanging out with Embry, she wasn't quite as miserable as she used to be. Getting laid had been good for her. She was finally trying to put Sam in the past where he belonged. _"I'll do what I can, bro, but I can't promise anything. You know how fucking stubborn she is."_

_"Yep. I have to admit though, it's one of the things I like best about her. Well, that and her tongue."_

_"OK, stop. I don't need to see that again. God, you two are like rabbits. You must keep Trojan in business." _Since Leah and I had become friends, it was rather hard to run with Embry and see her the way he did. He had a tough time holding back those visions of Leah's beautiful body, naked beneath him, her black shining around her head like a halo, and her eyes . . . so dark with desire. Man, the first time I saw her after that, I could barely contain my lust. I never told her that because I knew it would make her uncomfortable, so I just worked hard at staying away from Embry in wolf form and thinking of something else when I was with her.

_"You know it! Although she keeps telling me she can't have kids and we probably don't have to use condoms, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. I'm not ready for a kid."_

_A kid. A baby_. It had been over three weeks since Bella left for her honeymoon and I kept wondering how long it would be for her to realize she might be pregnant. _Wouldn't she know if she missed a period by now? _I shoved it from my mind and tried to concentrate on Embry's problem. Anyone's problems but my own.

_"Hey, I'm heading out to the junk yard later. Wanna come? I'm looking for a new project to keep me busy."_

_"Sure, why not. With Leah pissed at me, it's not like I got anything else to do."_

_"Thanks, dude. Way to make your best friend feel loved."_

_"Aw, you know what I mean. Yeah, I'll come with you. You know the only time we see each other now is on patrol since you locked yourself up in that garage of yours."_

_"Uh, I think you deserted me first when you and Leah decided you needed to have sex like five times a day."_

_"Well, it's not five, but . . . "_

_"Yeah, OK, whatever!"_

We finished out our patrol with me ordering Embry to recite the alphabet every time a vision of naked Leah popped into his mind, then we phased out and ran to my house for some lunch. "Hey, whose car is that?" Embry asked as we walked up the drive and noticed a small blue older Celica parked there.

"I have no idea," I shrugged. "I guess we'll find out."

As we walked into the house, I heard a squeal just before I was assaulted by a small feminine body hurling itself at me. "Jake! Oh my God, you're huge!"

I finally managed to pull the entwined arms from around me long enough to step back and see my sister, Rachel, standing in front of me. "Rach? Wow, it's been a long time." Rachel had been at college for the last four years, and she hadn't been home but maybe once or twice in all that time. Once she got away from here, she wasn't in a hurry to come back. My other sister, Becca, Rachel's twin, lived in Hawaii, married to a surfer. At least they had a chance to go out into the world. I would never have that chance.

I noticed Rachel's dark hair was shorter now, cut to just graze her shoulders, and she had bangs, which made her look more grown-up, but the smile was still my mom's.

"I know. I already got the lecture from Dad. But, I'm here now, so shut up and come and sit with us and tell me all about you."

I turned to Embry and noticed he just stood there with his mouth hanging open. I snickered as I said to Rachel, "Um, you have to remember Embry, my best friend?"

Rachel looked him up and down and shook her head. "What do they feed you guys around here? I remember Embry as a scrawny little kid who used to steal my underwear off the clothesline."

I laughed then as Embry actually turned red. I remember he once got five bucks for a pair he sold to some loser in the seventh grade. "Nice to see you, too," he mumbled.

"Oh come on, Embry. Come in and join us," she said as she pulled us both into the living room.

Dad was beaming as we all sat down around him. He missed both of my sisters terribly, but I always felt he had a soft spot for Rachel. I think it's cause she reminded him so much of my mom. She was more like her than Becca. Funny, caring, bossy . . .

"So, Jakey, what have you been up to?" she asked me.

What could I really tell her? She didn't know about the wolf pack so it's not like I could tell her the truth: _Found out that I can turn into a huge wolf, killed a few vampires, fell in love, had my heart broke, may have knocked up a girl, you know, the usual. _So, instead I told her about working on the dirt bike and selling it and how I was planning on going to the junk yard this afternoon for another project.

"That's cool. So you think you can make money at this?"

With a shrug of my shoulders I muttered, "I don't know. It's just something to keep me busy."

"So, you take the SAT's yet? Senior year is coming fast. You need to pick out your colleges now and start applying once you get your SAT scores."

Great. The college lecture. Just because she went to college and just graduated with . . . some kind of a degree, I guess, she thought I should, too. How could I tell her I would never leave here? As the true Alpha, I was bound here for life. "Nope. Not yet." _Please just leave it at that, _I begged with my eyes.

No such luck. She quickly turned to Dad and pecked at him. "Have you talked to Jake about school? I mean, you know there are scholarships out there, so money is not an issue."

"Daughter, let Jake make up his own mind. You know he will have responsibilities here on the reservation someday. He is my heir, and the heir of Ephraim Black. He will be the next tribal leader."

"Doesn't mean he can't have some education," she insisted.

I stood up and looked at Embry. "Well, we better get going. We need to get to the junk yard now so we have time to look around before it closes. See you later tonight, sis."

"Yeah, OK. I'll make dinner," she said, trying to hide her disappointment at my leaving.

I nodded and quickly pushed Embry out of the house. "What about lunch? I'm starving," he whined.

"Me, too. We'll scrape up some change and hit McDonald's. I just needed to get out of there," I told him as I climbed into the old red truck that used to be Bella's. Charlie told me to take it and use it when I wanted to. He felt there was no reason to let it just sit in the driveway. I think he had a hard time looking at it every day, reminding him that Bella was gone. I had borrowed it to deliver the dirt bike to the guy that bought it and then I kept it for this trip to the junkyard. Besides, her scent still lingered inside . . . I guess it was just another way to torture myself.

"Man, your sister is bossy . . . but hot!" Embry commented as he settled onto the seat and closed the door.

I rolled my eyes as I started the engine. "Seriously, dude? You want me to think about my sister being hot?"

He laughed and shoved my shoulder. "Sorry. Drive man! I'm hungry!"

We spent the afternoon at the junk yard, poking around until I found what I was looking for. It was an old motorcycle, but it was a Harley, and I knew it could be worth good money if I could find original parts to fix it. It would be a challenge, but the price was right and I really needed something to keep my hands busy. Embry helped me load it up then we took off for home.

It was good spending the day with Embry. He even managed to make me laugh, which I hadn't done much of lately. I smiled as I remembered Leah calling him a 'fucking moron.' I guess she had no idea at the time how true that phrase would become.

When we got back to La Push, I dropped Embry at his house, with a promise to spend more time with him, but then decided I wasn't quite ready to go home and get another lecture on college yet. So, since Embry had asked me to talk to Leah, I decided I might as well get that over with now. I drove over to the Clearwater's and parked outside their house.

"Jake! What's up, bro?" Seth greeted me excitedly when he answered my knock on the door.

"Not much. Is your sister here? I have been asked to talk to her."

He shook his head as I walked past him into the house. "Embry sent you over, huh? Man, he's driving me nuts! He calls like every hour wanting to talk to her and she just keeps refusing to come to the phone. I'm sick of all their shit. It's worse that a soap opera. She's upstairs if you're brave enough to talk to her."

He plopped back down onto the couch in front of the TV as I headed up the stairs to her room, wondering what I was getting myself in the middle of. I knocked on the door then heard Leah shout out, "I told you, I don't want to talk to him!"

"It's Jake. Can I come in?"

"Oh. Just a minute." I heard some moving around for a few seconds then she opened the door with, "What do you want?"

"Just to talk," I answered as I sauntered past into her inner sanctum. "Wow. So this is what your room looks like. I always wondered." I was surprised to see that her room had a little bit more of a _girly_ look than I anticipated. The walls were painted a light yellow, with a few band posters scattered here and there, along with frilly white curtains on the windows. Everything was neat and organized, something else that surprised me.

"Sure, come on in," she muttered as she closed the door.

I sat down on the edge of the white, wrought iron bed covered with what looked to be a handmade quilt and then grinned at her as I held up a stuffed teddy bear that was very old and obviously well-loved. "Off the bed, douche bag," she ordered as she ripped the bear out of my hands. "You can sit on the desk chair or the floor, but the bed is off limits."

"Yes, ma'am." I got up and moved to pull the desk chair out and straddle it backwards as Leah sat down on the bed and curled her long legs beneath her.

"So, I take it Embry sent you here to talk some sense into me?"

"Come on, Leah. You're killing the guy. He told me why your pissed, and it was all a misunderstanding. He's not ready to get married and settle down. Hell, he can barely wipe his ass without his mommy's help."

Leah sighed as she hung her head. "I know that, Jake. I know he wasn't proposing . . . it's just . . . " she raised her head to look at me as she tucked a lock of her dark hair behind her ear, "he's getting too close."

"Too close?"

"Yeah, I mean, at first it was just sex . . . you know, for fun. Hanging out, having a few laughs. But, somewhere along the line, he . . . started being . . . _sweet_," she said with disgust.

"Embry? Sweet?" She shot me a look that told me I should shut up, so I did.

"Look, I do not want to fall for another member of this pack, OK? I will not go through that, not again."

_Oh, the imprinting thing. I get it now. _"Have you told him that?"

"No. I can't," she answered with a small shake of her head. "But he should know . . . he should realize that I can't take that risk. We talked about this in the beginning and he promised he wouldn't get serious . . . he told me he just wanted to fool around. I should have known better."

She hung her head again and I felt for her. For both of them. "Yeah, but look at it from Embry's point of view. What if you imprint on someone? He's taking a risk, too."

"Yeah, like that's going to happen," she snorted. "If I can't have little wolf cubs, what is the point of me imprinting?"

"You don't know that for sure, Leah. We all know you have the bloodline . . . "

"Yeah, whatever. I just don't want to deal with this shit anymore, Jake! I just want my fucking life back! I want to be normal . . . I want to go to college, study journalism, write for a famous newspaper or magazine then maybe meet a guy, get married, have kids. I had a plan, you know? Why did things have to change for me?" The look on her face said it all . . . this was the most vulnerable I had ever seen Leah and it was killing me.

"Hey, babe, I'm right there with you. I never asked for this either, you know. And someday, I have to take over the pack and this whole fucking tribe! It's my _destiny_, as my father keeps reminding me. I never had a chance, Leah. I was born into this, and apparently, so were you. And I'm sorry . . . I wish I could change things for you, but I can't."

Silently we sat there, wallowing in our misery for a moment then Leah gifted me with a small smile. "OK, your life sucks more than mine. You win."

"Thanks so much. Glad I could make _you_ feel better," I shot back with a grin. She actually laughed just a little. It was good to see that. "So? What are you going to do about my buddy, Embry?"

"I don't know," she sighed as she hugged the teddy bear closer to her chest. "I really like him, more than I wanted to. I guess I'm just . . . scared." Then she added quickly, "You tell him I said that and I'll rip your balls out and shove them down your throat!"

I put my hands up in defense and said, "Don't worry. I may not be using my balls much, but I still value them." Then she laughed again and I joined her.

"Look, Leah, just talk to him, will ya? Tell him how you feel. I'm sure you guys can work something out."

She took a deep breath and finally nodded. "OK. I do miss him. And his tongue."

I put my fingers in my ears and shouted, "La, la, la, la, stop!" I pulled them out and added, "I don't need to hear about your sexual escapades. It's bad enough patrolling with Embry and making him keep his dirty thoughts to himself."

Leah grinned as she told me, "Jake, you need a woman."

"Yeah, I know, but she's on her honeymoon with her husband. Not real accessible right now," I quipped.

She rolled her eyes in disgust at me. "Not _that_ woman."

"Well, she's the only woman I want," I insisted as I pushed myself off of the chair and moved to the window to look outside. I hated the thought of Bella in _his_ arms. Of him kissing her and making her feel like I did. I closed my eyes briefly and relived that moment with Bella on top of me, coming so hard around me . . . how she looked as she smiled down at me . . . it killed me inside to think of her like that with anyone but me. She belonged with me. I just wish I could have made her see that.

"Jake?"

I turned to see Leah pat the bed as an invitation to sit with her, so I slowly walked over and sunk down beside her. "I thought the bed was off limits?"

With a very soft smile she said, "It is, unless I invite you." Then she shocked the hell out of me by leaning forward and kissing me on the mouth! I started to pull away, but she quickly put her hand behind my neck to keep me there. Her tongue glided along my lips until I opened my mouth, then it shot inside to touch mine. I was frozen for a moment, not knowing what to do then my instinct took over and I found myself kissing her back as my hands slowly traveled up and down the sides of her body.

Kissing Leah was very different than kissing Bella. Leah was in charge here, and I was trying my best to keep up. My body was gearing up quickly, for what I wasn't sure . . . then just as suddenly as it started she stopped it by pulling away and staring at me with a big smile on her face.

"What the hell, Leah?" I was completely confused. I had no idea what just happened.

"The way you responded proves my point. You need a woman. Someone to make out with, have some fun with." She ran a finger along my bottom lip as she added, "You're a sexy boy, Jacob Black. I would do it myself, but I have Embry to think of."

I jumped up off the bed and shot her a glare. I couldn't believe she just did that to prove her stupid point! "That was mean, even for you, Leah."

"It wasn't mean, Jake. You're the one that told me I needed to have a little fun, and, well, you were right. It did wonders for me. I think you should try it, that's all."

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "Whatever. Look, just talk to Embry, OK? I'm out of here." I jerked open the door and ran down the stairs and out the front door before Seth could stop me to talk. I needed to get away from here, away from what just happened.

I jumped into the truck and started it up, throwing gravel as I sped off. _Shit! Fuck! Damnit all to hell! _Why did she have to do that? It just brought up all the memories I was trying so hard to forget. I did need a woman, bad! But I didn't need just any woman . . . I needed Bella.


	10. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

**Bella POV:**

We arrived home from our honeymoon very late at night and I had groggily made my way up the stairs to Edward's room, pulled off my clothes and flopped down onto the bed. I slept for the next ten hours straight. This jet leg was a bitch.

When I finally woke up, I found I was alone in bed . . . with a note on the pillow beside me.

_**Bella,**_

_**Went with Jasper to hunt. Be back later tonight.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Edward**_

_**PS There is coffee waiting in the kitchen.**_

Coffee . . . he knows me well. I headed into the bathroom and as I undressed to take a shower, I felt a small wave of nausea pass over me. I had suffered through bouts of it on the flights home, but I thought it was just the turbulence. Now I wasn't so sure. I showered, dressed in my own clothes, finally, and slowly descended the stairway in search of my coffee. I found it in the kitchen, along with Esme, who was dressed impeccably, as usual, with a crisp white apron covering her clothes.

"Good morning, sleepy head," she greeted me with a smile and a hug. "I take it you enjoyed the island?"

"Yes, it was gorgeous! I loved it there," I told her as I poured some coffee into a cup. I took a sip and added, "Thank you so much for letting Edward and I use the house."

"You're very welcome. Anytime." She then stepped over to the oven and took out a tray of the most heavenly smelling cinnamon rolls I had ever come across.

"Oh, Esme. You have outdone yourself," I gushed, my mouth already salivating in anticipation.

She smiled at my compliment as she scooped one onto a plate and added a fork before handing it to me. "Be careful, it's still hot. Enjoy."

I sat down at the counter and did just that. I quickly devoured it as I watched her move around the kitchen. She couldn't eat any of the things she cooked for me, but she loved it just the same and was very good at it. Maybe I could do that, too, once I was changed. I hated the thought of giving up cooking. As she cleaned up, she asked about our trip, and I filled her in on all our activities . . . minus one.

Once I was finished, I told her I wanted to drive into town to see my dad. Of course, I was really embarking on a covert mission to get a pregnancy test, as my period had still not shown up, but I did hope to see my dad, too. I was kind of surprised at how much I had really missed him. "Of course, Bella. Take whatever car you like," Esme told me. "This is your home, now. We want you to feel comfortable."

I loved how their extreme way of living was nothing to them. They had thousands of dollars worth of machinery in their garage and to the Cullens, it was just normal. I guess there had to be some upside to living as bloodsucking immortals for all of eternity. Since my black tank was still parked at my dad's, I looked forward to driving something a little smaller and sleeker.

I ran upstairs to brush my teeth and grab my purse when all of a sudden, another wave of nausea hit me, this one a lot stronger, and I had to run into the bathroom. _What a waste of a heavenly cinnamon roll_, I thought as I finally stopped heaving and flushed the toilet. With my stomach now empty, I brushed my teeth and then went to sit on the bed for a moment. Now I was more suspicious than ever. I needed to get to town for a pregnancy test.

I picked up my purse and headed downstairs to take a set of keys from the rack near the garage door. As I entered the garage, I pushed the unlock button on the fob to see which car I would be driving then laughed. Just my luck, I grabbed the keys to the big, black SUV that Esme usually drove. Oh well. That would make Edward happy.

I drove to town, trying to stay calm, considering the errand I was really running. I just prayed I didn't run into anyone I knew at the drug store. Although, getting married at 18, right after graduation, I knew most of the town probably thought I was pregnant anyway.

I parked the car and ran into the drug store, grabbed not one, but two different tests, paid cash for them then ran back out to duck into the car before anyone saw me. I drove home, uh, I mean to my dad's house, and used my key to go inside. It was so strange to think I didn't live here anymore. It still felt like home to me. The Cullen house was gorgeous, but it didn't seem homey to me yet. I was sure I would get used to it in time.

I ran up the stairs directly into the bathroom and shut the door. I felt like a slutty teenager as I ripped open the box and quickly scanned the directions. I peed on the first stick then set it on the counter, and then I peed on the next stick and set it on the counter beside the first. I pulled my pants up, flushed the toilet, put the lid down and then sat on it to stare at the sticks.

As I sat there, I wasn't sure what I wanted them to tell me. I thought I really wanted it to be negative. Then I could move on with my original plan to have Edward change me and I could live out all eternity with the man I loved.

But, I found that a small part of me kind of hoped it was positive. I had never thought much about having a child until now. The last few days, I was really thinking about what I would be giving up by never having a baby . . . feeling a new life moving inside me, then raising and nurturing a child. And there was a little voice in the back of my mind that kept reminding me it was Jacob's baby. It was like a way for me to selfishly keep a part of Jake with me always. It had been a month since I had seen him and I suddenly realized how much I really missed him.

I dropped my head into my hands and tried to shove that thought from my mind. Ten minutes suddenly seemed like such a long time. Finally, I looked up at the clock to see it had been eleven minutes. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and stood up to look at the sticks.

_A plus sign and a YES_. Both of them were positive. I was pregnant_. Oh my God, I'm pregnant. _I leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. Just my luck to get pregnant the very first time I have sex. My hand instinctively moved to my stomach as I thought, _Now what?_

I have no idea how long I sat there on the bathroom floor until the house phone rang and I practically jumped out of my skin. I stood up and shoved all of the evidence of the tests back into the bag to take out and bury deep into the trash can. I was glad that trash pick-up was tomorrow morning.

As I opened the bathroom door, I heard the answering machine pick-up the phone call and was stunned as Jacob's voice came through loud and clear, "Um, hey Charlie, it's Jake." Then there was a long pause, like he was trying to decide whether to leave a message or not. "I, uh, I just wondered if you've heard from Bella. Um, I guess I'll talk to you later." Then he hung up.

I stopped at the bottom of the stairs to sink down onto the bottom step. It amazed me that he would pick this exact moment to call_. Should I tell him? Maybe I should talk to Carlisle first . . . _I dropped my head into my hands again and wondered how the hell I ended up in this mess. It was just too hard loving both of them. And I did. I knew I did. I loved them both, but so differently. If I could just roll them together to make one guy, I'd be great. _Yeah, that's not selfish at all._

I pushed myself off of the step to take the bag I was now clutching to my chest out to bury deep into the trash can then I walked back inside. I glanced at the clock and noticed it was almost noon. Maybe I could convince Dad to have lunch with me. I just hoped I could stay clam enough to talk to him. Then I would call Carlisle. I not only needed his medical expertise, I needed his advice. I just hoped he would understand.

"Bells! Look at you . . . you look great!" Charlie gushed as he hugged me outside the diner. "I think you even have a bit of a tan. How'd that happen?"

"You know there are places in this world where the sun actually shines more than once or twice a month," I teased.

He chuckled as he held the door open for me to walk past him into the diner. We sat down at his usual table and the waitress walked right over to pour him a cup of coffee. "Want some, hon?"

"No," I answered with a shake of my head. "Just water for me, thanks."

Dad order a cheeseburger deluxe with fries, while I went for a bowl of chicken noodle soup, as my stomach was still a little shaky. He politely asked about my trip and I told him all about the island and snorkeling, which he got a big kick out of. "I can't believe my little girl went snorkeling."

"It was scary, and I hate to admit, I didn't really like it all that much, but Edward enjoys it, so I went to be with him."

"Like a good little wife, huh?" I gave him a look and he laughed. "Yeah, that won't last long. At least it didn't with your mother."

Luckily, our food came and I got out of that conversation. As we ate, he talked a little about what had been going on here in Forks, and of course, I didn't miss much. He told me about fishing with Billy and how poorly the Mariners were doing again this year. Then he surprised me by saying, "Haven't seen Jake much. He's been spending most of his time in the garage working on some dirt bike he plans to sell."

_A knife through the heart, Dad. Thanks. _"Oh yeah? That's cool," I commented, trying to keep my voice as even as possible.

"Billy tells me he's a pretty good mechanic. He did a good job with your truck. I've been letting him borrow it by the way . . . I hope you don't mind."

"No, of course not."

"He, uh, he's pretty down right now. I feel bad for the kid."

"Dad, don't go there OK?"

"I'm sorry, Bells. I'm not telling you that to make you feel bad, I just . . . well, he was such a good friend to you when you needed one, and, I don't know . . . isn't there some way for you to still be friends?"

_Friends . . . yeah, well, if we share a child, I guess we should at least be friends. _

I took a sip of water and wondered how to get away from this topic when thankfully he glanced at his watch and said, "Oh, hey, I better get back to work. Thanks for coming by. I . . . well, I missed you, kiddo."

I smiled at him and hugged him as we stood up from the table. "I missed you, too, Dad." When he let go, I stepped back and told him, "I was thinking that I would like to set aside one night of the week to come over and cook for you and have dinner, just the two of us before I go off to college. Would that be alright with you?"

His eyes softened as a smile spread over his lips. "Yeah, I think that would be great."

"OK, what night works best for you?"

"Um, how about Wednesday? Middle of the week."

"Sounds good. Wednesdays, it is. Dinner is at six. Don't be late," I warned with a mock angry look.

He chuckled as he put his arm around my shoulder to give me a squeeze. "I wouldn't dream of it."

After he left to walk back to work, I pulled my cell phone out of my purse and called Carlisle. I asked if he was available to see me about a private matter, and he told me he would meet me in his office in 15 minutes. I closed the phone and sighed deeply. _Oh Carlisle, I hope you're ready for this one._

I took a deep breath then knocked on the office door and waited nervously until I heard, "Come in." I opened it and stuck my head inside. "Hey."

"Hello, Bella! It's so good to see you. Look at all the color in your face. Looks like Island Esme agreed with you." He had come around his desk to envelope me in a hug.

"Yes, it did. It was wonderful. Thank you so much for letting us use it for our honeymoon."

He closed the door and pointed toward a chair as an invitation to sit down. I noticed as I looked around that his office was well manicured, just like Carlisle. He displayed his latest medical licenses and a few watercolors of Esme's on the walls, and there were several beautifully framed photographs of the family sitting on his massive wooden antique desk. "So, what is this visit all about? Is something wrong?"

I chewed on my lip for a couple of seconds then blurted out, "I'm pregnant."

I noticed his quick look of confusion and shock, but being Carlisle, he made the fast switch to medical mode. "Are you sure?"

"I took two tests this morning and both came out positive."

"When was your last menstrual cycle?" he asked as he automatically reached over for a large pad of paper and began jotting notes.

"Two weeks before the wedding, which means I should have had a period two weeks after the wedding. I'm now almost three weeks late." He nodded and jotted a few things down on a pad of paper.

Then he shocked me by saying, "I'm so sorry, I should have warned Edward. I have heard of this happening, but it's very rare. In all my years as a vampire, I have only heard of a handful of cases . . ." _What? Edward? This baby could be . . . Edward's? Oh my God. _I was stunned! I had no idea that this was even possible! As I had my small panic attack, I realized that Carlisle was still talking, so I tried hard to focus.

" . . . there are stories about a vampire in South America who has used several women to try and create a family for himself. I've never met him, but I talked to someone once who swears they met him and his family." Then I noticed he was quiet. Too quiet.

"What are you not telling me?" I asked anxiously.

"Well, the women . . . usually they don't survive the birth."

I closed my eyes and my hands moved over my stomach to protect it. "Why?"

"Bella, it's unnatural for a vampire to mate with a human. A baby that is half human and half vampire, well, both halves don't always combine correctly. It can create a very strong creature that eventually ends up tearing the mother apart."

"Oh my God," I whispered. _No, I couldn't believe that this baby was some monster that would kill me. Nope . . . not happening._

Again he picked up his pen as he asked, "Bella, have you had any symptoms yet besides the missed period? Morning sickness? Weight gain?"

"I actually had some nausea on the plane ride home, and this morning, I threw up one of Esme's delicious cinnamon rolls. Such a waste." I gave him a small smile, but it went unnoticed as he jotted again on his notepad.

"Hmm. These babies usually progress very quickly from what I've read. I should do some more research," he said as he scribbled on the pad.

_Tell him, Bella. Just tell him. _"Um, there may be a chance that . . . this baby . . . isn't . . ." _Just spit it out! _"Um, isn't Edward's."

Carlisle closed his eyes for just a moment then asked quietly, "Jacob?"

I nodded and tried hard to sniff the tears back. I didn't deserve to cry and be comforted. I wronged Edward and I deserved to be screamed at, to be called names. Of course, Carlisle, being who he is, did neither of those. He simply asked, "When?"

"Two nights before the wedding," I answered softly.

He nodded. "I take it Edward doesn't know?"

I shook my head and wiped my tears. "No. I never wanted him to know. I feel so horrible that it happened at all." Well, that wasn't entirely the truth, but I did feel badly about it. "It wasn't planned . . . it just . . . happened."

Carlisle quickly switched back to medical mode. "I would like to run some tests, if that's OK with you. I hate to say it, Bella, but for your sake, and the sake of the baby, I hope this is not Edward's child. I don't think any of us could go through that, especially him."

I nodded. "OK. Let's do the tests."

He smiled his reassuring smile and said, "I'll go make some arrangements. I'll be right back." I nodded as he quickly got up and left the room.

I sat there, alone and let the tears come. I had no idea what to hope for. If this is Jacob's baby, he or she and I would come through safely, but Edward would hate me for my betrayal. If this was Edward's baby, it might be a monster who could kill me. Either way, it wasn't looking too good at the moment.

I shoved the tears away and wiped my eyes just as Carlisle returned to tell me he wanted some blood work first then in a couple of days he would do an ultrasound. "Why don't you follow me to the lab and we'll take your blood now, alright?"

I followed him down the hall to the lab, where he graciously turned me over to one of the lab techs who would take the sample. He left me there with a pat on the shoulder and a smile then told me he would see me at home. I was so amazed by his kindness. I just admitted to him that I betrayed Edward, and yet, he still treated me like a daughter.

After I finished in the lab, I walked slowly down the hall and out to the car. I climbed in behind the wheel and wondered how I would get through the next few days. Would Edward see this in Carlisle's mind? Probably not. Carlisle was very good at hiding things . . . he had centuries to practice. I knew it drove Edward crazy. So, my secret was safe for now, but not for long. I knew this was one secret that would have to come out, and it would be very painful for all of us when it did.


	11. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

**Jake POV:**

_God, I'm pathetic_, I thought as I hung up the phone. I can't believe I left that message on Charlie's machine. I had tried and tried to put Bella out of my mind, but the thought that she might be carrying my child was haunting me day and night. I had dreams about her almost every night . . . _something was wrong with the baby, and she was crying, but I couldn't understand what she was trying to tell me. _It was freaking me out!

I turned away from the phone to see Rachel standing at the edge of the kitchen, arms crossed over her chest, staring at me. "So, it's like that, huh? Still hung up on Charlie's daughter, even though she's a married woman?"

I rolled my eyes and opened the fridge to take out a can of pop. "Leave it alone, Rach," I warned her as I popped the top and took a drink.

"Oh, Jake. You've been following her around like a puppy since we were kids. It's time to stop. She chose someone else."

"I said leave it alone!" I shouted at her as I slammed the can onto the counter and pop shot everywhere. "You have no idea what I'm going through here. None! You left us four years ago and never looked back, so you have no right to waltz back in here now and expect me to believe you really care."

"That's not fair, Jacob. You know I care about you . . . and I can't stand to see you mope around after that snot-nosed girl who always treated you like shit!"

"Just fuck off, Rachel, and leave me the hell alone!" And with that, I slammed out of the house and ran for the woods, feeling like a real prick.

_"Whoa, cowboy. Who pissed you off?"_

_"Not good company right now, Leah."_

_"No shit, Sherlock. You haven't been for awhile now. Haven't heard if you're going to be a daddy yet, I take it?"_

_"Shit, Leah. Only you and Embry know that. Way to broadcast on the wolf network."_

_"You know it's just the three of us out here or I wouldn't have said anything. Embry is just being the smart one and keeping his mouth shut."_

_"Thanks for noticing, honey. Do I get brownie points for that?" _Embry chimed in.

_"We'll negotiate later, babe." _

_"Can you two stop it? That's the last fucking thing I need right now." _I was sorry now that I had talked her into giving Embry another chance. They were worse now than before, actually flaunting their relationship in front of everyone. Sam really hated it, of course, which only spurred Leah on more. He actually punched Embry in the face when he first found out before I jumped in and pulled him off, reminding him that his wife was watching. He backed off, but he still had a hard time being around either of them and not letting his anger and pain show.

_"So? Is she back yet?"_

_"I don't know. I left a pathetic message on Charlie's answering machine asking if he's heard from her."_

_"What are you planning on doing? Stalking her until she tells you? You think she'll even tell you the truth? If she is pregnant, maybe she'll want to raise the little bundle of joy with her bloodsucker husband. You ever think of that?" _A growl erupted from deep down inside me and Leah backed off. _"Yeah, OK, I get it! I wouldn't want it raised in a coven of leeches either, but she might."_

I had thought about that and had already decided that would never happen. If there was a baby, it would be raised as Quileute. It would be the Black heir, and would be raised to know our traditions and legends. It was funny how I had fought so hard against all that, but now that I was thinking about my own child, I felt so strongly about it being raised here. _"Yeah, I've thought of that. Not going to happen. Period."_

_"How are you going to raise a kid at 17? You still have a year of high school left. Are you going to quit and get a job?"_

_"I don't know, I don't know! We don't even know if there is a baby, OK? Just back the hell off and leave me alone!"_

_"OK, babe, time to roll and give him some space," _Embry interjected.

_"Whatever. Just trying to help."_

_"I know you are. Look, I'm glad you're both in my corner, but I told you I wouldn't be good company."_

I decided it might be best to phase out so I could think in peace. I found a secluded spot, high on one of the cliffs and phased to plop down on the ground and pick a blade of grass to run through my fingers_. What am I going to do if Bella is pregnant? Should I quit school and get a job? _I knew I would want to support the baby. It was my responsibility and I wouldn't take that lightly. But Bella was stubborn, and if she wanted to raise it with _him_, I knew she would fight me tooth and nail over it.

I laid back and thought hard about this situation, trying to come up with a solution that would please everyone. As hard as I tried, I couldn't find one. The only solution that made sense to me, the only one I really wanted was Bella leaving that asshole and marrying me so we could raise our baby together. I closed my eyes, and as usual, that night with Bella replayed in my head. Holding her and just kissing her lips sent such a thrill through me. But being able to touch her and make her feel things she never felt before, that was fucking awesome.

I knew that Bella was my one and only. I would never love another girl like I loved her. She was it for me. And maybe, if she was pregnant with my child, I could find a way to make her realize that she felt the same about me.

I finally hauled my ass up off the ground and decided I better go home and apologize to my sister. I felt like shit telling her to _'fuck off._' I knew she was just worried about me, but I wasn't quite used to having her here again, worrying over me.

When I was little, after Mom died, Rachel kind of became my substitute for her. She was one I ran to when I fell down and scraped a knee, or later, when I needed someone to talk to. It killed me when she left for college and then just cut us out of her life. I guess I was harboring a lot of resentment toward her that I needed to get rid of.

So, I headed home and walked into the house to find her in the kitchen . . . baking. For a moment, it reminded me of my mom and I felt a pang in my heart that I hadn't felt for a very long time. I cleared my throat and said, "Man, no one has baked anything in this kitchen in a really long time. I wasn't even sure the oven still worked. "

She turned and held out a cookie to me with my mom's smile. "A peace offering?"

I melted right there, took the cookie then pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry, sis. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

After a few seconds, she stepped back to say, "I talked to Dad after you left, and he filled me in on what you've been through. I'm sorry, Jake. I didn't know. This isn't just some crush . . . you really love her, don't you?"

I nodded as I took a bite of the cookie. "And the sad part is, she loves me, too. Just not enough."

"You want to talk about it?" she offered, and I could see in her eyes that she genuinely cared.

"Not really," I shrugged. "I'm kind of sick of thinking about it for now."

She smiled and turned to open the oven and check on the cookies as she said, "Well, Sam called a little while ago looking for you, and he invited us to come down to the beach for a bonfire tonight. Wanna go?"

"Yeah, sure," I mumbled. "Nothing better to do."

By the time Rachel, Dad and I got to the bonfire, it was in full swing. The fire was roaring, there was a mile long table filled with food, and everyone was laughing and talking and having a good time. For once, the weather was perfect for a night on the beach . . . the air was warm, and the sun was just going down over the water. I sucked in a deep breath and tried to put on my happy face.

"Hey, Jake! Bout time you got here," Seth said as he trotted over to give me a shove, leaving Brady and Collin behind to throw the football between them.

"Hey, Seth. What's up?" I said as I shoved him back.

"Not much. This summer has been so fucking boring!"

I laughed at that. "Yeah? How come you're not out at the beach everyday chasing down girls in bikinis?"

"Have you seen the girls that hang around First Beach? Pleeeezze," he said with a roll of his eyes.

"You can always come over to the garage and hang out with me. I sold the dirt bike I had, and I'm working on a Harley now."

"Yeah? Cool. Maybe I will," he said, his eyes lighting up at my offer. I was actually hoping he would. Seth was a good kid, so easy-going. I really could use him for company, especially since sex with Leah had lured Embry away. All of a sudden, a football came flying at Seth and bounced off the back of his head.

"Come on, Seth!" Brady called as Seth bent over and picked up the football.

I smiled at him and nodded. "Go on. I'll talk to you later."

He grinned and ran off threatening to kick Brady's ass if he ever hit him in the head again.

I looked around for Embry and saw him sitting in the sand helping Quil build a sandcastle with Claire, Quil's imprint, who was now three and quite a little stinker. She wasn't making it easy for them . . . she knocked it down quicker than they could build it up! I smiled then glanced around wondering where Leah could be if she wasn't with Embry. I found her talking with Jared and Kim, which kind of surprised me. Leah wasn't known to be very social, but being with Embry had brought out a different side of her. It was good to see her getting along with everyone so well.

Then I noticed Sam standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and the ever present scowl on his face as he stared at Leah. I guess he thought she would just pine over him forever. It was really killing him that she had moved on with someone else. I stepped over beside him and said, "Can't have your cake and eat it, too, you know."

"Look who's talking," he huffed. "You of all people should know how hard it is to stop caring about someone."

"Yeah, I do. But you have a wife now, dude. How do you think it makes her feel to see you staring at Leah or glaring at Embry all the time because he's doing your ex-girlfriend?" I saw Emily standing not too far away engrossed in conversation with Sue Clearwater, but I was sure she had already noticed Sam.

Sam dragged his gaze away from Leah to look at me. "I know, Jake, but . . . damnit, I didn't expect it to hurt like this, seeing her with someone else. It pisses me off so much . . . " he spit out between clenched teeth as his hands curled into fists. "I never expected to imprint . . . I didn't want to hurt her, and now . . . "

"And now, after being put through hell, she's finally happy, so let it go."

I heard him let out a deep sigh as he nodded. "I know, I have to. But, Jake, there is a part of me that will always care about her. I can't turn it off no matter how hard I try."

"Yeah, I heard that," I mumbled as I looked over at Leah, laughing at something Kim had just said. I knew how hard it was to turn off feelings for someone. Bella was on her honeymoon with her husband, and I loved her more now than I ever had. "Look, I know it's tough, bro, and I don't have a clue really how to do it, but, I hate seeing Emily hurt. Try harder, Sam."

Again he nodded as he took another look at Leah. "I miss her so much sometimes . . . especially now that's she's not so angry all the time. She's more like the Leah I . . . loved. And I guess that's why it kills me so much to see her." He turned to me to add, "But you're right, and I will try harder. I have to, for Emily."

"Yeah, you do, but for you, too."

Sam nudged me with his elbow and smiled. "Thanks, Jake."

"Sure, sure," I nodded. He left me to walk over to Emily and scoop her up into his arms. God, how I wished I could do that . . . _walk over to Bella and haul her next to me . . . put a kiss on her neck and whisper what else I want to do to her . . . _

Just then Embry and Quil jogged over, followed by little Claire, to break into my little fantasy with, "Jake! You gotta see this," Embry started.

"Yeah, bro, Paul just imprinted!" Quil added excitedly as he bent down to pick up Claire.

"What? On who?" I quickly ran through my mind who might be here that he hadn't seen before and then it hit me . . . _Rachel. _"Are you fucking kidding me?" I took off toward where I had left Rachel and there he was, the little prick, standing in front of her with a goofy look on his face, hanging on her every word.

I stepped up and put my arm around Rachel's shoulders. "So, Rach, is this guy bothering you?" I asked, throwing a glare at Paul.

"No, not at all. We just met," she answered with a dazzling smile. _Shit. Too late._

"Yeah, well, buzz off, Paul," I said through clenched teeth.

He stepped up to get in my face. "You back off, Jake."

"This is _my sister_, Paul," I warned him with a shove.

"Hey," Rachel called out as she stepped in between us. "What the hell is this, Jake? I'm just talking to him, OK? Go get something to eat. I'm fine."

_Oh, if you only knew, _I thought as I took in her angry stare. I backed off with a final look at Paul, trying to let him know if he hurt my sister, I would hunt him down and kill him. He gave me a nod, letting me know that he got it, but he would also kill for her. I shook my head and stomped off toward the food table. My life just kept getting better and better. _Paul as a brother-in-law . . . fucking great_. I suddenly hated imprinting as much as Leah did.

I filled a plate and plopped down beside Embry, who was sitting with Seth and Leah. "So, you cuddle up to the new brother-in-law?" Leah teased.

"How great is my fucking life?" I whined as I bit into a hot dog.

They all laughed, but I was serious. I didn't think I could take one more thing without cracking like an egg. I just wondered who would clean up the mess.

After I inhaled two plates of food, I decided I needed to get away from all the other people who had great lives and were laughing and having fun, so I took a walk down the beach. I knew it was doing me no good to walk around in a constant funk, but I couldn't help it. No matter how hard I fought it, I just couldn't shake it.

I found my feet instinctively walking toward the old fallen log where Bella and I had shared many talks in the past. I eased myself down as I stared out at the waves rolling in and remembered that day I first told her the story of the cold ones here on this beach. _Why couldn't she have been scared away from them instead of being so damn fascinated?_ I really needed to talk to her now. If I knew for sure that she wasn't pregnant, maybe I could finally let her go. _Yeah, right. I'll hold onto her till I go to the grave._

I dropped my head into my hands and gave into my misery. Why not? It was so comfortable to wear around me. I was getting pretty used to it.

"Is this a one-person pity party, or can anyone join?"

I looked up to say to Leah, "Traitor. You used to be the one person I could count on to be miserable with. Now look at you. You're all cuddly with Embry and getting so much sex it makes me sick. I don't think you can be a member of the _Poor Pitiful Me Club_ anymore."

She actually had the nerve to laugh as she sat down beside me. "Oh, come on, Jakey. I can still find my misery when I want to." She slung her arm over my shoulder and added, "Wanna talk or just sit here and feel like shit?"

"Well, I got nothing new to talk about, so . . ."

"OK, feeling like shit, it is." She rested her head against mine and we sat there together, silently gazing out at the water. Leah had turned out to be a better friend than I ever thought. She really did understand how I felt. All those months of having to watch Sam and Emily, then having Sam in her head after she phased . . . she knew misery well.

Finally I sat up and looked over at her. Now she was finally finding some happiness and I was glad, but more than just a little envious. She gave me a small smile and for some reason, I leaned over and kissed her softly on the mouth. I could see the shock in her eyes as I smiled and said, "Thanks, Leah. For being a good friend."

"Um, yeah, sure," she muttered as she slid away from me just a little.

"What? That day in your room you jumped me and slid your tongue down my throat. Now I give you a friendly little kiss and you freak out?"

"That's cause I was trying to prove a point. You were . . . you meant something with that. It was . . . all . . . _nice."_ Then she shuddered and I laughed.

"Yeah, God forbid you have to deal with someone being nice. Ugh, how horrible!"

She glared at me as I laughed at her then she shoved me so hard I fell backward off of the log onto my ass. "Jacob Black, you're such a fucking idiot!" she huffed as she stomped off, leaving me there laying in the sand, laughing my fucking head off.

I noticed her turn back though, and give me a grin before she stalked on down the beach. Yep, that's Leah . . . I would be lost right now without her.


	12. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

**Bella POV:**

Edward was propped against the headboard with a book in his hand as he said softly, "Good morning, love," as I finally forced my eyes open. I guess the jet lag must still be getting to me a bit as I fell into bed last night around nine, and even now, after hours of sleep, I'm still so tired. I stretched for a moment then sat up to give him a kiss when the nausea hit. _Oh no. How can I hide this from Edward? _I kissed him quickly then smiled and excused myself to use the bathroom.

Luckily, I hadn't eaten much for dinner the night before, so I had nothing really to throw up. I turned the water on to try and hide any noise that might escape while I dry-heaved then I flushed the toilet and washed my face. Eventually the nausea calmed and I walked back into the bedroom.

"Are you feeling well? You look a little flushed." _Damnit! _

"I'm alright . . . I think it's just the jet lag, or something." _Great, now I'm lying to my husband instead of my dad. Maybe I would actually get good at it one of these days._

"Can I get you anything? Maybe . . . um, tea and toast? Or some eggs?"

"Tea and toast would be great, thanks." I slid back into bed and leaned back against the pillows.

He softly kissed my forehead and assured me he would be back soon. As he closed the door behind him, I let the guilt wash over me once again. I just wanted to blurt out everything: _Edward, I'm a slut. I slept with Jacob two days before our wedding and now I'm pregnant. But I don't know if it's his or yours, because apparently, you are capable of getting me pregnant, but it might turn out to be a monster that can kill me. Sorry_. Yeah, that sounds good.

I stared at the ceiling and picked at the blanket waiting for him to come back. I was anxious to have the other test that Carlisle suggested so I knew for sure what to tell Edward, because I knew I had to tell him soon. I couldn't let this go on for long. Edward was too smart . . . he would see through this sooner than later.

And then there was Jacob. I thought back to that message he left on my dad's answering machine. I could hear a desperation in his voice . . . I had a feeling he, too, had realized we didn't use any protection and he was curious to know if I was pregnant. I'm sure Dad called him back last night to let him know I was home. It wouldn't be long until Jake would come calling to know the truth. _Oh what a tangled web we weave . . . _

I jumped when I heard Edward come through the door. "Did I wake you?" he asked anxiously.

"It's alright . . . I was just dozing." _Liar, liar._ He put a tray across my lap that held a steaming cup of tea, and a small china plate with buttered toast. "Thank you, this is really sweet."

He dropped a kiss on my forehead before settling onto the bed beside me. "It's not really. I just want to take care of you. I love you, Bella."

I smiled as I sipped my tea. "Mmm, this is good. And I love you, too."

I managed to eat some toast and drink some tea, and was happy when it really did help. Before long, the nausea was at bay, and I was ready to get up and shower. "Alice informed me last night that she and Jasper were going on an extended hunting trip and she wanted to spend some time together today before they left tonight. Is that alright with you?"

"Yes, of course. Why don't you get ready and I'll take the tray back downstairs," he answered with a smile.

"Alright. See you soon," I said with a quick kiss. He surprised me by pulling me close and kissing me again, longer, lingering over my lips. I savored the moment and moved my lips with his . . . he had not done that in weeks . . . not since . . .

"Mmm, that was nice," I whispered. "I miss kissing you." _And there it was . . . the mask of disappointment. Way to go, Bella. _

"Yes, well, you had better get going," he said quickly as he picked up the tray and walked out the door, closing it behind him.

I sighed and threw the covers back to climb out of bed. He was going to hate himself forever for what happened between us on our honeymoon. I couldn't imagine what he would be like if he found out he fathered a child and what it might do to me.

I tried to throw that thought off of me as well, as I showered and dressed, brushed my teeth and then went downstairs to find Alice. I didn't have to look far. She was waiting for me in the living room, looking gorgeous in pair of white pants and a black tank top, with a short white jacket thrown over it. As usual, I was wearing a pair of jeans and a Seattle Mariners t-shirt that Dad brought back for me after going to a game with some of his cop buddies. What a contrast we were. "Bella, Edward tells me you're not feeling well," she pouted so prettily.

"After my tea and toast, I actually feel a lot better," I told her honestly.

"Well, I was planning on helping you shop for things you'll need for Dartmouth, but if you're not up to it . . . " she started, sounding disappointed.

"No, that's fine. I'll let you know if I need to come home."

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Alright then! Let's get going!" She grabbed my hand and practically dragged me toward the garage. I waved goodbye to Edward, who was laughing with Jasper. _Sure, you guys can laugh. You don't have to get dragged around from store to store, trying on hundreds of outfits and shoes and jewelry and coats and on and on . . . _

I loved Alice, I really did. But she just got so out of hand when she went shopping. And no matter how many times I told her, I just couldn't seem to convince her that I was not a super model that could wear the designer fashions she picked out for me. I was a simple, plain girl who wore simple, plain clothes. But, I suppose now that I was a Cullen, I should at least _try_ to dress like one. I looked really shabby next to Alice, Rosalie and Esme. Even Emmett and Edward dressed better than I did! Although, I did like how Jasper kept his own, unique, Texas kind of style. He was much more comfortable in an old worn pair of jeans and a western shirt than designer slacks and a sweater. He was the only one apparently that could get away with that.

We shopped and I was happy to keep the nausea in check by sipping some Sprite and nibbling on a warm pretzel from a stand in the mall. Although, while I was trying on the first batch of clothes, I noticed that I couldn't zip the pants. I checked the size, and tried again to zip them. Granted, I didn't know much about babies, but I thought most women didn't start wearing maternity clothes until they were at least three or four _months_ along, not weeks.

"Bella? Does everything fit?" Alice called from outside the dressing room.

"Um, I need a bigger size in the pants. Apparently I gained some weight from all that great seafood I ate on my honeymoon." _Lie, lie, lie. _Then I suddenly wondered if Alice had seen anything. _Did she know, but just didn't say anything? Oh God, what if she did know and Edward saw it before I could tell him?_

"Hand them out and I'll be right back." I opened the door a crack and handed her the pants then looked in the mirror again. I felt my heart sink as I remembered that Carlisle had said a vampire baby would develop more quickly. I closed my eyes as my hands closed over my stomach. I found myself caring for this baby even if it turned out that it would be dangerous to me. _How could my own baby want to do me harm?_

I jumped at the rap on the door as Alice said, "Here you go, Bella. Try these." I opened the door and took the pants even though any little bit of joy at spending time with Alice had been sucked from me. I took the pants from the hanger and stepped into them, determined to push the negative thoughts from my mind. I was having the test Carlisle ordered tomorrow. Until then, I was going to do everything I could to stay positive. As for Alice knowing . . . I guess I would just have to trust that if she did sense something, she would keep it to herself until I could tell Edward.

On the drive home, I got my answer to that question when Alice glanced at me and asked, "Bella? Have you changed your mind about becoming one of us?"

_Be cool, Bella._ "Uh, well, for now, yes. I told Edward on our honeymoon that maybe I should try college for one year at least. Why?"

"Because I don't see you becoming a vampire anymore. That vision has completely vanished."

"Oh," I said softly. Then, I bravely asked, "Have you seen anything else?"

I realized I was holding my breath, waiting for her to answer when Alice finally said, "No, I haven't. But whatever you decide, Bella, you know we all still love you, right?"

I couldn't answer her as the guilt was closing my throat and making any speech impossible, so I just nodded with a small smile. Thank goodness her phone rang and she had to abandon the conversation to answer it.

We thankfully arrived home soon after with our arms full of shopping bags. Edward helped me carry everything up to our room and laughed at how much Alice had insisted on buying me.

"Well, she told me it would be cold back east, so I had to have a complete winter wardrobe. You know how she gets. I have three winter coats in there alone! One for school, one for good, and one just because she liked how it looked on me. Don't even get me started on boots."

Edward's arms came around me and then his cool lips brushed my neck. "Thank you for being so patient with her. She really does love you."

"I know she does. I love her, too. I will actually miss all of your family when we go off to Dartmouth."

"They are your family, too, you know, and I'm sure they will visit us. And we can come back here for the holidays," he reminded me.

"I know. Speaking of family," I said as I pulled away and turned to face him, "I forgot to tell you that Dad took me up on my offer of spending one night a week cooking dinner for him. He said that Wednesdays would work for him, so we start tomorrow. Is that alright with you?"

"Of course, love. I know how important it is for you to spend time with Charlie. I'm happy for you."

"Good. I will have to shop for groceries first, and then I figured I would probably do a little house-cleaning for him, too, so I may end up spending most of the day out."

"That's fine. Maybe I'll just plan on making Wednesdays my hunting day. That way I won't miss you as much."

I smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "Good idea."

So, with my alibi in place, I got up the next day to prepare for whatever Carlisle would discover with the test he would be doing on me. I didn't lie . . . I did need to grocery shop and I did want to do some cleaning, so I headed to the store first and then to Dad's to unload the groceries and do the cleaning. My test was scheduled for one, so I had some time.

Luckily, the nausea I had earlier left me, so I ran the vacuum, started laundry, dusted and picked up, then cleaned the bathroom. I decided since I had time before I had to leave, I would go ahead and put the lasagna together and put it in the fridge then pull it out later to put into the oven.

Once I had that done, I made myself a sandwich and sat down on the couch to watch a little TV until it was time to go. My nerves were really starting to get the best of me and I had all kinds of crazy thoughts running through my mind. I was hoping watching some mindless television program would distract me.

It shouldn't have surprised me when I got one bite into my sandwich and I jumped out of my skin at a knock on the door. Once my heart started beating again, I wondered, _Who would know I was here?_ Although the big, black SUV parked outside would probably give it away.

I opened the door and felt my knees give way as I saw Jacob standing there. Then everything went black.

"Bella! Bells, come on, wake up." I could hear a voice through the fog as I struggled to open my eyes. "That's it, honey, open your eyes."

Finally I forced my eyes open to connect with Jacob's intent gaze. "Jake? What happened?" I was trying desperately to sift through the haze and figure out why I was now laying on the couch, my head apparently resting on Jacob's lap. I hadn't seen him since the day before my wedding when we said goodbye. That was almost five weeks ago.

"You opened the door, took one look at me and fainted. I know I'm hot and sexy, but really, Bells . . . "

I managed to roll my eyes at his grin as I tried to sit up. "Shut up, Jacob."

"Sorry, couldn't resist. Are you alright?"

I put my hand to my forehead for a minute then answered, "Yes, I just waited too long to eat, I guess. I was just sitting down to have a sandwich. Maybe my blood sugar was too low or something." _Lies . . . more lies._

"Well then, here. Eat," he commanded as he handed me my plate.

I picked up the sandwich and took a small bite then asked, "Why are you here again?"

"I saw a different black tank parked outside and decided to stop by and see what was going on." _Now who's lying? Like he was just passing by . . . _

"I came by to do a little cleaning and cook dinner for Dad tonight," I explained as I took another bite of my sandwich and then a drink of iced tea. "I had to drive Esme's car since mine was still parked here."

He was quiet, strange for Jacob, which meant he was trying to think of how to approach the question he most wanted the answer to. Finally he said, "So, you look good. Except for fainting, how are you feeling?" _Real smooth, Jake._

"Fine, good. I got a lot of sun and relaxation while I was gone, so, I'm good. How about you?"

"Good, I guess," he mumbled as he ran his hand through his hair, his signature move when he was frustrated.

I felt bad about causing that frustration, but I wasn't going to just give in and tell him, even though I felt such a pull to unload everything on him. I had done that too much in the past. This time, I needed to see Carlisle first. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost 12:45. "Um, I hate to rush off, but I have to go, Jake. Since I was in town, I, uh, promised to meet Angela at one to tell her all about my trip, and I don't want to be late." _Whoa, this lying thing was just getting easier and easier. Better be careful, Bella._

I shoved the last bite of my sandwich into my mouth and picked up my plate to take to the kitchen when Jake's hand shot out and grabbed my arm before I even got one butt cheek off the couch. "No, wait." _Shit, I was so close. _"Before you go, I have to know one thing."

I closed my eyes and willed to be hit by lightning, or maybe an earthquake where the floor would open up and swallow me, anything other than having to answer his question. "Bella, look at me." I forced myself to give in to his command and he went on, "I realized after . . . you know, that night, that we didn't use any . . . protection, so, tell me, please, are you pregnant?" _And there it was. _

My brain froze and I couldn't think of a thing to say. _Where's your bag of lies now, huh? _I sat there silently for a moment, which was probably a dead give away then finally, avoiding direct eye contact, I mumbled, "There's nothing for you to worry about, Jake." _There, that's vague. Not a lie, but not exactly the truth._

_But I knew he wouldn't buy it. _He gripped both of my arms and looked me right in the eye. "Bella, tell me the truth. Yes or no. Are. You. Pregnant?"

Looking into his eyes, and seeing how much he cared, I caved. "Yes," I whispered. I watched his face to see his reaction. No shock, so he must have been thinking long and hard about this. A little fear, but yet, some relief? Then suddenly, his hands left my arms to capture my face. "Oh Bells. I'm sorry. I should have thought . . . I didn't mean for this to happen. You don't hate me, do you?"

I slowly shook my head. "No, I don't hate you. But, Jake . . ." _How do I tell him it might not be his?_ _Just say it._ "Um, this baby may not be yours."

_There's the shock._ His hands dropped away as he tried to comprehend what I had just told him. "Are you telling me that he, that there is some way . . . oh my God, Bella. No." Jacob shook his head back and forth as he shoved himself off the couch to pace back and forth in front of me. "No. There is no fucking way. How could _he_ father a child? He's dead! He can't possibly have sperm!"

"Carlisle told me that it's rare, but possible. I haven't even told Edward yet." I sniffed back the tears that were threatening and stood up. "Look, Jake, I really have to go. I'm having a test at one and as soon as I know the results, I promise we'll talk, OK?"

I moved to walk past him when he stopped me and hauled me against his massive chest. It had been so long since I felt those arms around me and I was terrified I would lose it if I remained there too long. I was trying so hard to stay strong, and this was not helping. I wanted him to hold on and never let go. "It will be OK, Bells. Whatever you find out, it will be OK."

I took in a deep breath, and relished his manly, woodsy scent for a moment then sucking up what little strength I had left, I pushed away from him to pick up my purse and keys. I was determined not to use Jacob as a crutch this time. He opened the door for me and I brushed past him to walk outside. As I opened the car door to climb inside, Jacob stopped me with, "Bella? Promise me you'll tell me the truth. Whatever it is?"

I hesitated then nodded. "I promise." I was sick of lying. I had never liked it and was never good at it. Especially with Jacob. He always knew when I was lying . . . even when _I_ didn't.

He leaned forward to put a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Talk to you soon."

I climbed up into the car and started the engine as he made his way around back to phase and run home. I took a deep breath and backed out of the driveway then turned toward town. I was scared, but more than ready to find out what the hell was really happening to me.

I met Carlisle in his office again and then he walked me to the ultrasound room. He told the tech that he would be conducting the test himself and she smiled and nodded and left the room. He could see I was curious, so he explained, "I saw some strange abnormalities in your blood work, Bella. I'm a little worried about what might show up on here. I didn't want to have to try and come up with an explanation for the tech." Oh, right. _It's just a freaky vampire fetus . . . nothing to worry about._

I laid back as he instructed and lifted my shirt and unzipped my jeans as he squirted some gel type stuff over my middle. "I'm going to run this wand over the area and we should get a pretty good picture here on the screen what's going on inside," he explained. I nodded and turned my head toward the computer screen, wondering nervously what we would see.

I thought I was prepared for anything, but I wasn't expecting what I saw on that screen. My hand flew to my mouth as I gasped, "Two? Do I see . . . are there are two babies?"

Carlisle nodded as he moved the wand and clicked keys on the computer keyboard. I could see he was taking measurements of each. "Yes, but you see how this one is much larger?" he asked as he pointed at it with his index finger. I did. One baby was huge compared to the other. "This is what I was concerned about. It seems to be developing much faster than the other embryo."

"Why is that?"

He paused and turned to look at me. "Bella, as strange as it sounds, I'm afraid that you have become pregnant by both Edward and Jacob. This embryo is growing at an enormous rate" he pointed out with his pen, "while the other embryo is growing normally. That leads me to believe that this one is Edward's, while this one must be Jacob's. "

I was once again stunned! I had no idea how to respond to that. After I picked my jaw up off of the floor, I stuttered, "But how . . . is that . . . I mean, how can that even happen?"

"When a woman is ovulating and she has sex with two different partners at close to the same time, more than one egg can be fertilized. You see they each have their own sac of fluid, so they are fraternal twins, not identical."

"Oh my God. I can't believe this." I couldn't. I was mortified. I thought it was a mess before, but this takes the cake.

"You might remember that I told you a baby fathered by a vampire would grow at a much more rapid pace?" I nodded numbly as he went on, "At the rate it is growing now, I estimate it will continue to grow about three to four times faster than a human baby, which means it will run out of room soon and . . . " he paused.

"And? And what?"

"I am afraid that it will smother and kill the other embryo."

"I can't believe this is happening," I whispered as I closed my eyes. Once again, I had to choose between them . . . Edward and Jacob and now their babies.

I felt Carlisle take my hand as he said, "Bella, in all the research I've done, this never ends well. As hard as it is for me to tell you, you need to know. You see, the baby grows too rapidly and ends up destroying the mother from the inside out, first by breaking bones as it needs more room, and then, there have actually been stories of them using their teeth to find a way out of the womb. To give you and your other baby the best chance of survival, I would like to remove this embryo now before it gets any bigger."

I shook my head slowly back and forth as I stared at the screen. _This wasn't a monster . . . it was my baby. Mine and Edward's. We made this baby . . . how could I just kill it?_

"Bella, I can see what you're thinking. I know this is difficult . . . it is for me, too. This is Edward's child . . . probably my only chance at having a grandchild of sorts. But, you have to realize that Edward will not hesitate once he knows the facts. You are too important to him. He will want me to do this to save you."

He was right, of course. Edward was always thinking of my safety first. I reached out and ran my finger across the image on the screen. I could see it already looked like a baby, and yet, it didn't. It's head was shaped differently, larger, probably due to it growing so fast. . . I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to think. "I don't know . . . it's just not fair."

"You're right, Bella, it's not. I'm so sorry you have to make such a tough decision."

Finally I opened my eyes to look at him. "If we do this, how soon?"

"I'd like to do it immediately . . . today. But, I don't want to do it here, which I'm sure you understand. I have a room set up at the house that we were preparing for your change. I could do the procedure there. I will go out to the desk and check my schedule to make sure they can get someone to cover for me then I will drive you home."

"So soon? I need to think, I need to talk . . . "

"Bella, I think it would be easier to do now, so you don't get too attached. You also have the other baby to think about . . . unless . . . I guess I should ask, do you want to keep the other baby? I mean, I just assumed, but I could just as easily . . . "

I surprised myself by practically yelled, "Yes! Yes, I want to keep the other baby." I didn't realize until just now, how badly I wanted it. "I know it won't be easy for Edward, but I want it, very much." Then I added, "Are you sure there is no way we can save this baby? Maybe, deliver it early and keep it in an incubator or something? Anything?"

He shook his head slowly as he handed me some wet wipes. "You can use these to clean up and I'll be right back." He scooted the stool back and stood to go then he put his hand on my shoulder. "Bella, I know this will be very difficult, but it is the right thing to do." I nodded through my tears as he left the room.

I looked back at the image on the screen. Two babies, one from each of the men I loved. I should have seen that one coming. I never could seem to choose between them. But now, it seemed the choice was being made for me. How would we all live this choice?

_A/N: So are you shocked? Did I catch anyone off guard? This was the idea from the beginning, but I am finding it a lot harder to write about than I thought! I have a few more chapters written, but the writing has slowed down some as I work though this. Let me know what you think._


	13. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

**Jacob POV:**

I left Bella and ran toward home through the woods, staying human instead of phasing. I needed time alone to process what I already suspected, that Bella _was_ pregnant, but what I never thought would ever be possible . . . I might not be the father. Thinking about her giving birth to some horrible freaky bloodsucker baby shook me to the core. A vision of Bella holding a baby floated into my mind then I saw her holding it to her breast and the baby's teeth sinking in and blood shooting out . . . that's when I had to stop and bend over as I puked my guts out into the grass.

Once I finally stopped heaving, I stood up straight, wiped my arm across my mouth and looked up at the sky. _Please, God, don't let it be true. I want more than anything, for Bella's sake, to be the father of this baby. Please._

I had been thinking all this time that if Bella was pregnant, it might be the one thing that would save her life and bring her closer to me. Now, there was actually a chance he might have outdone me again. _Man, I hated this guy!_ I stupidly thought a baby would be the one thing I could give her that he couldn't. I guess there was nothing this son of a bitch couldn't do.

Instead of running again, I walked. I needed time to digest all of this and I didn't feel like talking to anyone right now. Later, maybe I would find Leah and talk, even though I knew she would have a field day with this one.

I finally made it home and glanced up to see that Rachel's car was parked in the driveway next to the Rabbit. _Great._ That meant Paul was here, too. Ever since he imprinted, he was ALWAYS here. Laying on _my_ couch, eating _my_ food, and making out with _my_ sister. It infuriated me!

The only good thing that came out of it was Rachel knowing the truth about who and what I was. Now that she knew about the whole wolf thing, she backed off on the college talk, and was much more understanding about my future.

I stalked into the house, slamming the door behind me then turned to go to my room. That's when I saw Paul, lounging on the couch, eating Oreos. MY package of Oreos that I bought with MY own money! I stalked over and grabbed them out of his hands. "Hey, runt! Give those back," he sneered.

"These are MINE, Paul. I bought them with my own money. Money I _earned._ Maybe you should try it, lazy ass."

Paul just looked at me. "What's eating you?"

"Are you fucking serious? You practically live here now, but you do nothing but lay around and eat us out of house and home! When you're not slobbering all over my sister, that is. God, why can't you just go home?"

He made the mistake of standing up and getting in my face to say, "Why don't you fucking make me?"

I hauled back and hit him right in the face with everything I had. My fist connected with his nose and blood spurted everywhere. That's when Rachel walked in from outside with a laundry basket in her hands. She dropped it and came running. "What the hell is going on here? Did you hit him?" she screamed at me.

"Yes, I hit him. Just give him a couple of hours, it'll heal," I threw at her as I turned to walk away when she grabbed my arm.

"Jacob! What has gotten into you?"

I jerked my arm away and let her have it. "I just don't like how he's moved in. You let him lay around all day and he eats EVERYTHING! I can't take it anymore, Rach. And I am so sick of hearing you two go at it like rabbits when you think you're being quiet . . . I'm fucking sick of it . . . ALL of it!"

A look of shame crossed her face for a moment before she shot back, "I think you at least owe him an apology. You broke his nose."

Paul was standing there with a towel that Rachel had handed him over his face to catch the blood, and I swear I could see him smirk at me from behind it.

"Sorry I broke your nose, Paul. Next time, I'll aim lower." _You dick_, I added for my own satisfaction.

"Geez, Jake, dat waz sweed," Paul said. I loved how he sounded like Bullwinkle.

"Yeah, whatever." I turned away from them to go to my room when the phone rang. Rachel was all wrapped up in getting Paul some ice for his poor little nose, so I picked up the phone and yelled, "Yeah, what do you want?"

"Uh, is this Jacob?"

"Yeah, who's this?"

"Jacob, it's Carlisle Cullen."

_Carlisle?_ _Bella was going to have some tests done . ._ . "Is it Bella? Is she OK?"

"Yes, this concerns Bella. Could you please come to my home right away? It is extremely important."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on my way," I told him hurriedly then he hung up. Oh my God, it must be really bad for him to call instead of Bella. Without a word to anyone, I ran out the door, stopping only to strip off my shorts and tie them down then I phased and ran like my life depended on it. Maybe it did.

When I crossed the border, I was met by the big guy . . . um, I knew his name, but I never cared enough to remember it. He told me that Carlisle asked him to escort me to the house. _Wow, an escort_. I was freaking out more and more by the minute.

I stopped near the house to phase back and pull on my shorts while the big guy . . . _Emmett, that was it_ . . . waited for me near the back door. Once I jogged up, he opened the door for me and stepped back to allow me to walk by. I took a deep breath of the last fresh air I would get for awhile and stepped inside.

_What a fucking showplace, _I thought as I walked into their huge living room with the plush white sectional, the biggest fucking TV I had ever seen, and a grand piano all just sitting there like they belonged. I had been here once for Bella's graduation party, but it was filled with people that night. Now that it was empty, it felt like I was walking into a movie set or something. It was weird to imagine Bella living here. It was so not her. "Where's Bella?" I asked Emmett.

"Carlisle is driving her home. They are coming down the drive now," I heard from the other side of the room. _Edward._ I took another deep breath and tried to stay calm. Whatever was going on, I knew for Bella's sake I would need to not let this prick get under my skin.

"Do you know what this is about? Carlisle didn't say when he called."

Edward shook his head and answered shortly, "No."

Emmett looked between us then said sadly, "Geez, guys. I thought I'd have a little more fun playing referee here. No broken furniture, shattered windows, not even a little cussing or name calling?"

I almost laughed. This is one leech I could like if I had the notion to actually like one of them.

Edward just glared at Emmett who held his hands up and backed off. "Fine. I'll be over here in front of the TV. Let me know if a fight breaks out." Before he could move, his pocket rang and he reached in to take out a cell phone. "Yes. On my way." He closed the phone and immediately left the room.

I knew Edward had his freaky mind-reading thing going when he took off after him. Must be Bella, or he wouldn't have moved with such speed. I turned to go, too, but before I could figure out where they ran, a door burst open and in came Emmett carrying Bella, Edward on his heels.

"Bella?" I said softly as she passed me. Even though she had her head tucked down, I could see she had been crying.

"Edward! Stop, I need you here," Carlisle called out as he walked into the room carry his black doctor bag. "I want to explain to both of you at the same time what is happening with Bella. Emmett will take her to Esme, who is waiting for her."

Edward stopped and wheeled around to say angrily, "I need to be with her, Carlisle. I can tell you're blocking whatever it is so I am assuming it must be bad. Just say it so I can be with Bella."

Carlisle nodded to me with a small smile. "Jacob. Thank you so much for coming so soon. Time is of the essence here."

"Of course. What's wrong?"

I could see from the expression on Carlisle's face, this wasn't good news. "This is not going to be easy, so please, both of you just remain calm and quiet and I will answer any questions you have once I'm done. Is that clear?"

I nodded and then glanced to Edward who gave him a curt nod as Emmett walk back into the room, along with his blonde chick, to stand a few feet back from Carlisle.

"Alright. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but Bella is pregnant . . . by both of you."

"Both?" I blurted out. I felt like I was just kicked in the gut . . . I was stunned!

Edward shot me a look that I knew was meant to kill. _Oh, so you didn't know I slept with her before you did? Sorry, dude. _He lunged at me and was caught by Emmett before he even reached me. "How dare you, you filthy dog!"

"Really, that's the best you can come up with, you stuck-up prick?" I threw back at him as he struggled to get out of Emmett's hold.

"Edward! I need you to remain calm," Carlisle said sternly. "I know this is very difficult for you to hear, and we can deal with the feelings later. Right now, Bella's life is at stake and I need to explain this to you."

Edward glared at me then nodded to Emmett. "Let me go," he directed curtly.

Emmett let go, but stayed close. Edward then turned to Carlisle. "I . . . fathered a child?" I could see he was shocked at that revelation . . . _he didn't know he could do that? _

"Yes, it is possible for a vampire to father a child, even though it is very rare. Unfortunately, these babies grow at a very rapid rate, and . . . " he paused, "the mother usually does not survive the birth." I could hear Edward hiss at that last comment, and I glanced over to see such a look of pain cross his face.

Carlisle put his hand on Edward's shoulder and said softly, "I'm sorry, son. Bella came to me after learning she was pregnant, and I had her come in for an ultrasound today. That is when I discovered there were two embryos, one fathered by each of you. I can explain the mechanics of it later if you wish, but right now, I need to move on. The embryo that is Jacob's is developing at a normal human pace, and is right now, about 6 weeks old. But, the other embryo is growing at a much more rapid rate, which means that soon it will run out of room and will smother and kill the other embryo. As it keeps growing, I'm afraid that it will . . . it will tear Bella apart."

_Oh my God, oh my God, I can't believe what I'm hearing! He planted a monster inside Bella that will kill her! _My hands were clenching and unclenching as my blood started to boil. _Stay calm, Jake . . . stay . . . _"You fucking bastard," I growled as Emmett stepped in between us. "She could die because of you! How could you do this to her?" I screamed as I struggled against this ogre with the strongest pair of arms I'd ever encountered.

"This is more like it," Emmett grinned at me as he held me tight in a choker hold.

"Let me go, damnit! I'm sorry, I'll calm down," I told him as I finally ceased fighting against him. He looked at Carlisle who nodded then he let me go.

Carlisle started talking again, so I took a deep breath and tried hard to focus on what he was saying. "I have explained all of this to Bella, and she understands the gravity of the situation. She has reluctantly agreed to allow me to remove the larger embryo in order to save her and the other baby."

I felt relief flood my body. I couldn't believe Bella was actually choosing the logical choice. I thought she would fight to keep both babies . . . or at least Edward's. I looked over to see that Edward was shattered by this news. If I didn't hate the guy so much, I might actually feel sorry for him.

"Is there no way to save this baby?" I glanced around to see the blonde vamp ask this question. _Why does she care?_

"Rosalie, in all the research I've read . . . I just don't see how to do it without losing Bella and the other baby."

She turned and glared at me immediately. "Oh, so his puppy gets to live while this child is destroyed? There has to be something you can do!"

Carlisle put his hand on her shoulder. "Rose, I know how you feel. Don't you think I would save this baby if I could? But, it's not developed enough yet to survive on it's own, and if I leave it in there any longer, I'm putting Bella and the other baby at risk. As a doctor, I have to do what is best for my patient."

"You said that it is growing very rapidly. How much longer could it take to grow to a size where it could survive outside the womb? Please, Carlisle, just think about it!" Rose insisted.

I looked over to notice that Edward had not said a word this whole time. Didn't he want to save his child? I sure as hell wanted to save mine! He glanced at me, letting me know he heard that last thought.

Finally, Edward spoke, asking, "Is this even a child? Or is it a . . . monster?"

"It is a child," Carlisle began patiently. "But you have to understand that all I have to go on is just myth and legend. I'm not sure if this child survives its birth, how long it might live if it keeps growing so quickly. I can't believe in all the centuries I've been around, that this hasn't come up, that I haven't heard more about it, but I'm finding that it was usually kept very quiet when it happened, so . . . I'm so sorry, Edward. I wish I would have thought to look into this before, I just didn't . . ."

"I understand," Edward replied solemnly.

Rosalie took Edward's arm and begged, "Please Edward, think about this. So this baby may only have a small chance to live, but it deserves to have that chance, don't you think? Please, Edward!"

I stood there watching them, anger within me growing by the second. "Carlisle?" He swiveled his head toward me as I asked, "Didn't you say that we had to act fast here? _Bella_ is our first priority. Her life is hanging in the balance the longer we wait. Please, don't wait."

I gave a glare to Blondie and dared her to cross me. I wouldn't mind ripping into her right now.

Carlisle stood there quietly for a moment then he said slowly, "I will wait only if Bella agrees. And that means that she will be under constant monitoring and if I see any stress at all on her or the other baby, I will do what I have to do. Edward?"

"This . . . _thing_, will not hurt Bella. I mean that, Carlisle! You don't allow it to hurt her, no matter what Rosalie wants." To my surprise, he turned and leveled his own glare at her.

"You know I will do my best," Carlisle replied.

Then Carlisle turned to me. "Jacob, I promise you, I will not let your baby be harmed. Bella has indicated to me that she wants to keep this baby, and I will do all I can to make sure it is safe. Do you trust me?"

"What choice do I have?" I shot back. I did trust him, but I was pissed. He was all set to take care of this demon spawn until Blondie over there opened her fucking mouth.

"Bella told me on the way here that she would like to speak to each of you alone. Edward? Why don't you go to Bella and explain what we've discussed."

Edward nodded and quickly left the room. Then Carlisle turned to face me again as he said, "I'm not here to judge you or Bella for your behavior. I will say that I love Bella like a daughter, and although I am disappointed in her action, I can see that she genuinely loves you both. Even though she chose to marry Edward, I know she still cares for you, and your child. I want you to know, Jacob, that I will do everything medically possible to save your baby. But if it comes between saving the baby or saving Bella . . . "

"Save Bella," I interjected. "Do whatever you have to do to save Bella."

He smiled and placed his hand on my shoulder. "I had a feeling you might say that. I will, I promise. This is a very difficult situation for all of us. I'm very worried about Edward. He already feels badly about . . . well, I'm sure this has crushed him. I know it's asking a lot, but could you please give Edward some space? I know he's angry and hurt and worried, and well . . . "

"Yes, I understand. I won't cause any problems. Besides, we always have Emmett here to referee . . . just in case."

Emmett grinned at that and Carlisle smiled. "Yes, we do," he said as he patted Emmett on the arm. Then he turned back to me and instructed me to follow him.

I followed Carlisle across the huge living room to a hallway, where we turned to the left and walked past several doors. Before we reached Bella's room, we could hear Edward's voice clearly through the door.

"I planted a monster inside you, Bella! It's not a baby, it's a monster, and I'm having a hard time thinking of it any other way. It's Rose who is insisting on letting it live."

"Edward, stop calling it that! How can you be so unfeeling? We made this baby together . . ."

"Yes, I remember, Bella. I recall vividly all the marks and bruises and the blood . . . which I know now wasn't because you were a virgin," he spit out snidely. It made my blood boil to hear that he hurt her . . .

That's when Carlisle burst through the door to say, "Edward, enough." Edward nodded curtly then stopped to look me in the eye. I didn't have to read his mind to know what he was thinking. I answered back with my own mental message as my eyes narrowed and my jaw clenched, _Name the time and place, leech. I will kill you for hurting her like that. _Just then, Emmett reached out to take Edward's arm and lead him down the hall.

"Jacob?" Carlisle called softly. I stepped inside the room and turned to look around as he quietly closed the door to leave us alone. I was surprised to find myself in what looked to be a very complete operating room right here in his house! Although I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, really. When I was hurt, Carlisle had shown up at my house with all kinds of medical supplies.

I found Bella lying on a table in a hospital gown, hooked up to a monitor with all kinds of numbers blinking and an IV in one arm, but what I hated seeing most were the tears rolling down her cheeks. I sat down on the stool beside the bed and gave her a small smile. "Well, Bells, you've outdone yourself this time."

I was glad to see her smile through her tears. "Yeah, only I could manage this one, huh?"

I slid my arm beneath her shoulders to lift her into my arms and hold her close. Thankfully, she didn't resist me, and I felt her melt into my shoulder. "Honey, it'll be alright. I trust Carlisle."

"I know. So do I. I just wish . . . "

"Shhh. I know you do," I crooned as I ran my hand down her hair and onto her back. "Look, this is a horrible situation, for all of us. But Bells," I pulled back to look her in the eyes. "The most important thing here is you. I love that you are pregnant with my baby. I know I shouldn't be . . . I mean, I'm only 17 and still in high school, and you're married to . . . well, someone else. But, I can't help it. It's a part of me and a part of you. But I don't want you to sacrifice yourself for either baby."

She hiccupped and nodded. "I know. I want our baby, Jake. I don't know how it will all work out, but I want it, very much." She was quiet for a moment then she said, "Edward told me that Rosalie wants Carlisle to wait, to give the other baby a chance. That he would agree if I would agree."

"Yes, that's what he said. But he also told her that he would monitor you constantly and if he saw that you or the other baby was in any distress, he would not hesitate to step in and do the procedure."

"I don't know what to do, Jake. I wanted to talk to Edward about it, but, well, you heard him." _Yeah, I heard him . . . and I want to kill him now more than ever. _That description he gave about what he did to her was still ringing in my head.

"Bells? About what he said . . . he hurt you, didn't he?" Her head dropped as she pulled away from me. I could see she didn't want to answer me, but of course I couldn't leave it alone. "Bella?"

I heard her whisper, "Yes." My hand came under her chin to nudge her head up. I needed to see the look in her eyes. When I did, fury ripped through me and it took all the strength I had not to hunt Cullen down right then and kill him. I could see she was taking the blame. "It was my fault, Jake. I pushed him too hard. I knew he was afraid of hurting me, but I pushed . . . "

"Stop it, Bella. Just stop. I can't hear any more," I told her clenched teeth. My body was already shaking, my breath coming harder . . . _Calm the fuck down, Jacob. Just breathe . . . in and out . . . now is not the time._

After finally gaining some control, I said, "Bella, please talk to Carlisle before you make your decision about this baby, OK? Make sure you have all the facts before you make your choice." She nodded as I cupped her cheek and added softly, "Please don't make this decision lightly, Bells. I can't imagine losing you."

Her face crumpled and I drew her close to me again, feeling her tears slide down my bare shoulder.

Bella rested there on my shoulder for awhile as she cried softly then she shifted so she could look at me. She set her forehead against mine for a moment then she surprised me by leaning in and kissing me briefly on the lips. "Thank you, Jacob. For being here, for . . . being you."

I smiled at that. "No problem. I wouldn't know who else to be."

She gifted me with a small, crooked smile, then she surprised me again by whispering, "I really missed you."

"Me, too," I managed to get out over the lump in my throat. I was so afraid for her right now . . . and for our baby.

The door opened and Carlisle came back in. "May I talk to Bella?"

I nodded and stood up. "I'll be around, if you need me, OK?"

"Thanks, Jake."

I left her with a smile and a kiss on the head and closed the door behind me. I hoped that Carlisle could talk some sense into her and just go ahead with the procedure. But, knowing Bella like I did, I didn't think that would happen. She would have to try and save the thing, I knew she would. But then, if the tables were reversed, and that were my baby, would she do the same? Yeah, she would.


	14. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13**

**Bella POV:**

My hand instinctively covered the small bump I felt sticking out on the right side of my midsection. It had just appeared about an hour ago, and I couldn't help but touch it and try to protect it. "Carlisle? Tell me the truth. Does this baby really have a chance? I mean, if I could go maybe another week . . . would that give it a real chance to survive?"

Carlisle sunk down to sit on the stool as he explained, "Bella, the longer you can hold this baby inside, the better the chance of it surviving outside the womb, yes. But the complication here, is the other baby. The larger this baby becomes, the more chance of losing the other. You will have to choose between them eventually."

_I couldn't choose between their fathers . . . how can I choose between the babies?_ I closed my eyes and sighed_. I can't sacrifice Jacob's baby to save Edward's. I won't do that to Jake . . . or to myself. But, Edward's baby deserves the chance to live too . . . God, what am I going to do?_

I opened my eyes and looked at Carlisle. "Can we take this one day at a time?"

Carlisle gave me a cautious look then nodded slightly. "We can try, but, I will monitor you constantly and if I see that the fetus is causing you any stress, we will go ahead with the procedure. You have to be honest with me about how you are feeling, and trust me when I say enough is enough. Can you do that?"

"Yes, I can. I do trust you."

"But I want you to understand that I cannot guarantee that this will make a difference."

I nodded to him and said simply, "I understand. But I have to try."

I watched his face as he weighed the choices then finally he said, "Alright then. Let me get Esme back in here to help you get dressed and take out the IV. But listen, Bella, I don't want any stress put on your body at all. Think of yourself as an incubator of sorts right now. I won't put you on total bed rest just yet, but I will if I see you in too much stress. Stay off your feet as much as possible. You can walk small distances, but no stairs, and no lifting anything. And if you experience any pain at all, you will call for me, understood?"

"Yes, sir. Understood. Now, can you do me a favor?"

"Certainly."

I gave him a hopeful smile. "Help me think of a way to tell my dad? I was supposed to cook dinner for him tonight."

He smiled at that and patted my arm affectionately. "I will think of something to tell Charlie, I promise."

Carlisle moved to the door and called for Esme. She came right away and removed the IV and then went to get me a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt to dress in. Once I was dressed, she walked me slowly down the hall to one of the guest bedrooms since Carlisle didn't want me to do the stairs. She didn't have much to say to me. I suppose hearing that I betrayed Edward, who she considered her son, was too much for her.

This guest room wasn't quite as elaborate as the rooms upstairs, but I could still fit two of my bedrooms at my Dad's inside this one. The room was decorated in neutral shades to fit whatever gender was using it. It also had an adjoining bathroom so that would be convenient. And just like most of the rooms in this house, there were huge windows that helped to bring the feel of the outdoors in.

I was now tucked into the huge bed, propped up against a pile of pillows sipping tea, still waiting for Edward to make an appearance. Carlisle assured me he just needed some time, and that he would be in soon. I knew when my secret came out it would hurt him, but I guess I stupidly didn't realize how much. I never wanted him to find out about Jake and me, but I should have realized that secrets have a way of coming out. _Boy, what a way for it to come out. _I felt so horrible that he had to find out this way. I should have told him . . . it was stupid to try and hide it.

The door opened and I anxiously looked up hoping to see Edward, but it was Rosalie who asked politely, "May I come in?"

"Sure," I nodded. Rosalie and I still weren't close. I knew she thought I was making the wrong decision in wanting to become one of them. She tolerated me being in the family, but she never sought me out. _Why now?_

"How are you feeling?" Rosalie asked.

"Physically, fine. Mentally, I'm a mess. I'm scared, embarrassed, frustrated . . . you name it."

She actually smiled at me as she pulled a chair close to the bed then sat down. "I'm the one that asked if you could carry this baby a little longer. Edward and the do . . _. Jacob _were both very angry with me, but I'm sorry, Bella. I couldn't see killing this baby just because it was growing too fast. It deserves a chance to live."

Rosalie had shared her story with me once, how she never wanted this life. She wanted to get married and a have a family of her own. She missed out on having babies . . . I knew she was sensitive to that subject. I guess that's why she had just become this baby's advocate for life. "I understand that. Carlisle never really gave me a chance to think about it. He just told me he wanted to bring me here and . . . remove it."

"I suspected that. Look, Bella, even a week might give it a better chance to live. That's not too long."

"I told Carlisle I would take it one day at a time. He promised he would let me do that."

She smiled again and it made her look even more beautiful, if that was possible. "Good. Thank you, Bella."

I nodded. "Have you seen Edward? Is he . . . still so angry?"

"I don't know," she said with a small shake of her head. "Emmett took him outside for a walk. They haven't come back yet."

An awkward silence stretched out between us, so Rosalie stood up and asked, "Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you."

"Alright." And with that, she turned and walked out the door. I realized she wanted this baby almost as much as I did. It would be her chance to mother a child, even if it wasn't hers. It could bring us closer, or tear us further apart.

I laid there, lost in my thoughts for awhile until the door opened, and once again I looked for Edward, but it was my dad that walked in, still dressed in his uniform. "Hey, kiddo."

I smiled at him, even though I was sure I wasn't ready for this yet. "Hey, Dad. Sorry about dinner. The lasagna is in the fridge."

He gave me a smile as he sat down in the chair that Rosalie had pulled over to the bed just a little while ago. "Aw honey," he said as he took my hand. "You know, when Jake called me and said he had something to tell me about you, this is the last thing I expected. How are you? Are you alright?"

I nodded then asked, "Did you see Carlisle?"

"Yeah, he explained everything. He told me you're pregnant with twins, and one of them may not be forming properly and it's giving you some trouble. He's keeping a close eye on you until he can get a better picture of what's going on."

I had to hand it to Carlisle. He had a great way of telling the truth, yet leaving out certain facts that he knew would be too much for someone to comprehend. I suddenly wondered if he had done that with me. "Yeah. Soooo, are you . . . shocked? Me being pregnant?"

He hung his head for a moment so I couldn't read his face then he looked up and said, "Well, I suspected maybe that was the reason for the rush to get married. I just wish you would have been honest with me."

"No, Dad. It wasn't like that. I wasn't pregnant when I got married. I'm not quite 6 weeks along. I promise you."

I could see he wasn't too sure that I was telling him the truth, but I guess I couldn't blame him. I had been lying to him for so long now . . . sooner or later it was going to catch up with me. "So, where is Edward? I figured he'd be here with you. I talked to Jake who is sitting outside the door like some guard dog, and he said you were in here alone."

"I don't know, Dad. He went out with Emmett for awhile. He's not so happy about . . . things."

"He didn't want kids?"

"No, it's just . . . neither one of us expected this, and it's just taken him by surprise, that's all," I said, avoiding eye contact by staring at the blanket and picking at it with my fingers.

I glanced up to see Dad eye me suspiciously. _Yeah, I knew he wouldn't buy that one._ I took a deep breath and then said, "He found out something today, and he has every right to be upset with me. I did something that hurt him very deeply." I felt tears coming again and I bit my lip to hold them back.

"Honey, what's going on here? Talk to me," he said softly as he took my hand.

"I cheated on him, Dad. Two days before the wedding . . . with Jacob. I slept with Jake and now, he might be the father . . . " I couldn't finish. It was just too humiliating.

"Aw, Bells." Dad scooted over to sit on the bed beside me and hold me while I cried all over him. I had never done that with him before, not even when Edward left me all those months ago, and I'm sure it was not a new experience he really enjoyed. After awhile, he shoved a wad of Kleenex into my hand and I blew my nose and tried to stop the waterworks while he moved back to the chair. "So, you slept with Jake. Why then did you go ahead and marry Edward?"

"Cause Dad, I love Edward," I sniffed.

I could see by the confused look on his face, he wasn't getting this. "But you must have feelings for Jake, too. You're not the kind of girl who sleeps around. At least, I didn't think you were."

"No, of course I'm not. Jake . . . he was my first, oh God, I can't believe I am having this conversation with you." I put my hands over my face to hide the redness that I was sure was spreading.

"Yeah, it's not so fun for me either," he mumbled. Then he took a deep breath and said in a tone I was sure he used when he was interrogating a suspect, "So, you and Jake . . . you know, but you still went ahead with the wedding because you love Edward."

"Yes, Dad. I love Jake, too, but . . . this is just so horrible. How can I be in love with two different guys? Mom never covered this one when she used to talk to me about boys."

Dad actually smiled at that. "You're asking me? I don't have any experience in that area, Bells. I'm still trying to get by the fact that Billy didn't talk to Jake about condoms."

I rolled my eyes at him. "We didn't plan on having sex. I hadn't seen him in weeks, you know that, and he just showed up out of the blue, and it just happened, so fast, and . . . I don't want to talk about that with you."

"Good. I don't want to hear it. But you know, Bells, you cold have avoided this mess if you just would have realized you were marrying the wrong guy. I knew how you felt about Jake, Billy could see it, hell, even Jake knew. Everyone, but you. Bella, when are you going to wake up and realize that you don't belong here with him?"

"What?" I asked. I was in complete shock now.

"Come on, Bells, just look around you," he gestured by holding his arms out. "This designer house is so huge. . . I don't know how you find the bathroom without a map. And what about those parties they throw for you when we all know how much you hate the attention? The fancy clothes they try to make you wear . . . that huge army-type vehicle he makes you drive . . . none of it is you. When you're with Edward, you never smile or laugh . . . not like when you're with Jake. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise . . . a wake-up call of sorts. I know you think you love this guy, and maybe you do, but ask yourself, where is he right now?"

Now he was pissing me off. "Look, Dad, I wanted you to know the truth, but I didn't expect this kind of lecture. I figured you'd be disappointed in me for getting pregnant, but . . . "

"I'm not disappointed in you for getting pregnant, Bella. I mean, would I have liked for you to be older than 18 when you got pregnant? Yes. You know I wasn't in favor of you getting married so young either. But, one thing I know about you, honey, is you have to learn things for yourself. So, learn from this. Think long and hard about who is really best for you and your babies. I hope for your sake, Jake is the father. He may be young, but I think he can handle it. At least he's here."

I closed my eyes and sighed back into my pillows. I knew he didn't know the whole truth, so he had no idea what this little speech of his was really doing to me. "Dad, you've made it very clear how you feel about Edward, and I know you've always been Jake's biggest fan, but this is just more complicated than you know, OK?"

Just then, we heard a knock on the door and Jacob stuck his head in. "Can I come in?"

"Dad is still wearing his gun, Jake. You might want to re-think that," I called out.

Dad winked at me then said, "Come on in, Jake."

Jacob stepped inside, closed the door behind him then cautiously walked toward us. "So, I guess Bella told you?" I quickly tried to give him a look that said, "_Not the whole truth,_" but I couldn't tell if he caught it or not.

"Yes she did. You ready to be a father, Jake?"

"No, sir. But I have been thinking about it. I am going to try and get enough credits to graduate mid-term in January then I'll find a job and work full-time. Bella isn't due until end of March or beginning of April, so that gives me a couple of months to save up some money. "

I just stared at Jacob and wondered how the hell he thought that would work. _How would he fulfill his wolf duties? His tribal duties?_

"Well, that's a start," Dad told him. "It won't be easy though, you know. Especially given Bella's current marital status. They'll be custody arrangements and child support . . . "

"I understand that. But this is my family, Charlie, and I take that responsibility very seriously. I will be there to love and take care of my family." Then he looked down at me and added softly, "And Bella, too, if she'd let me."

I shot him a look that told him he better stop right there. Dad was already on his side . . . I didn't want them both to gang up on me right now. "Look, can we talk about all that later? I mean I'm only like 6 weeks along. Nothing has to be decided right this second."

"Of course, kiddo, you look tired. Why don't you get some rest, and I'll talk to you again tomorrow." He stood to go then he stopped and said, "And, you know, if you want to come home, all you have to do is call, anytime, day or night. You got that?"

I smiled and sniffed back tears, yet again. "Yeah, Dad, I got it."

He bent down and dropped a kiss on my head. "No matter what, you know I love you, Bells."

"I do. I love you, too, Dad."

He looked over at Jake and shook his head. "So Billy never told you about condoms?"

"Oh my God, Dad. Really?" I cried out, completely embarrassed.

Of course, Jake just smiled. "Yes he did, but, well, I didn't really plan on that happening," he explained slowly. "But, I should have stopped when I realized where it was going."

Dad sighed. "Well, what's done is done." He slapped Jake on the back and added, "See you later." He turned to walk to the door then stopped and threw at me, "And Bella? You get to tell your mother. Have fun with that one." Then he waved and walked out of the room as Jake flopped into the chair.

"Well, I survived that with no holes shot in me. That's a good thing," he said with relief.

"Oh please. Don't you remember how he was when he found out you kissed me the day I broke my hand? He was practically jumping up and down cheering for you."

His signature grin spread across his face. "Yeah, but stealing a kiss and getting you pregnant are two very different things, Bells. I have to tell you I was pretty worried."

"Well, obviously, I didn't tell him the whole truth. I told him that you _might_ be the father. I couldn't tell him that one was yours and one was Edward's. It was humiliating enough just to tell him I cheated on Edward with you. And get this . . . he wasn't mad that I slept with you, he was mad that I slept with you, but still married Edward! He thinks I don't belong here."

"Neither do I, but that can't be a surprise. It's just not you," he shrugged.

"That's what he said. Why is it so hard to imagine me fitting in here?"

"I don't know . . . it's just this place is so cold and unfeeling. It doesn't look lived-in. And the way they all dress . . . no one just wears a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, except the blonde guy who always looks like he's in pain?" He paused to allow me to supply a name.

"Jasper."

"Yeah, him. He wears jeans and boots, but the rest of them look like they stepped out of a magazine. You're beautiful, Bella, right now in your sweatpants and your Paramore t-shirt, although your choice of bands is questionable. But, you don't fit in here. You just don't."

I scowled at him. "That's your opinion, and apparently my dad's, too. I didn't marry Edward for his money, and I don't care about the clothes and the cars. I married Edward because I love him, and you and Dad are going to have to back off!"

"But shouldn't that tell you something if we both feel that way? The two people in the world that know you better than anyone? Better even than your husband?" he shot back. "At least we're here for you."

I reached up and rubbed my forehead. This was getting out of hand and I really didn't want to think anymore. Maybe it was because he was getting too close to the truth. "Jake, this whole thing is so . . . weird. Can we not do this right now?"

His face softened as he said, "Sure, sure. I'm sorry, Bells. I didn't mean to upset you." He reached out and took my hand into his. I knew he meant well, so did my dad, but I just couldn't deal with any of it right now. "Is it OK if I turn on the TV? Maybe we can find something good to watch on the Food Channel. "

I smiled at him and nodded, "Yeah, OK." I knew he was itching to watch the big flat screen that was mounted on the wall opposite the bed, even if it meant watching the Food Channel. He turned it on and we settled in to watch Paula Deen cook some barbeque.

"You know, I guess I should call my mom and get that over with," I told Jake.

He reached over to pick up my cell phone and hand it to me with a sly smile. "I am so staying to listen to this."

With an exaggerated eye roll, I took it and dialed Mom's number. "Hey Mom. How are you?"

"I'm good, honey, how are you? Are you still on your honeymoon?"

"Nope. Been home a couple of days. I, uh, have some news to share with you." _Be strong, Bella. _"I uh, just found out that, I um . . . I'm pregnant."

"What?" I could hear the anger in her voice. "You promised me you weren't getting married at 18 because you were pregnant . . . "

"I just found out, Mom." I knew her voice was loud enough for Jake to hear as he just grinned and shook his head. I stuck my tongue out at him then focused on Mom's rant as he laughed at me.

I could hear the frustration in her voice as she calmed a little to ask, "Oh Bella, why weren't you on the pill? I took you to that doctor before you left Phoenix . . . he gave you a prescription. Didn't you fill it?"

_I was dating a vampire . . . I didn't think I had to. _"Mom, I'm sorry. I told you Edward was old-fashioned and wanted to wait until we were married. I didn't think I needed it."

"But you're so young."

"Yeah, well, I never really thought I'd get pregnant the first time I had sex. Talk about being a statistic." Jake snickered at that one and I glared at him before saying into the phone, "Look, Mom, I'm sorry you're disappointed in me, but I think it's a little late for a lecture, OK?" Suddenly my head as throbbing and I put my hand up to rub my forehead.

"Fine, I won't lecture. What did you father have to say?"

I didn't even want to go there. I couldn't tell her about Jake right now. I just couldn't. Instead I said, "About the same as you."

"Well, I guess we were both hoping you would learn from our mistake."

"Thanks for calling me a mistake, Mom. That makes me feel so much better."

"That's not what I meant and you know it. It was a mistake for us to marry so young. I've always loved you, Isabella. You were _not _a mistake."

I sighed and sunk back further into the pillows. "I know, Mom, I'm sorry. Look, I'm nauseous and tired, so I'm going to go. We'll talk another time, OK?"

"Alright. Take care of yourself, honey. Peppermint tea helps."

"OK, I'll try that thanks. Bye." I hung up and set the phone on the nightstand and looked at Jake. "Well, that was fun."

"I take it she was thrilled," he said sarcastically. "I notice my name never came up."

"I just couldn't go there after getting a lecture about getting pregnant at 18." I again rubbed my forehead then said, "I just need to relax. What's Paula making now?"

"Gooey Butter Cake," Jake answered. "God, I hate watching Paula. I'm starving now."

I smiled at him as he took my hand again and thought how it was so comfortable sitting with Jacob. He was still my best friend . . . the best one I had ever had. I walked away from him once, but now, we would be bound together for the rest of our lives by this baby, and I just realized how happy that really made me.

I must have dozed off because I jumped awake when I heard a knock on the door. I looked over at the chair where Jake was slouched down with his head back and his mouth open, snoring softly.

"Come in," I called out.

The door opened and Edward finally stepped into the room. I quickly pulled my hand from Jacob's and reached out to shake him awake. "Jake! Wake up."

Finally he opened his eyes and looked at me with a start. "Huh? You OK?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Edward is here and I'd like to talk to him," I explained, nodding toward the door.

Jake looked over at Edward and then back at me. "Yeah, OK. I guess I better head home and face Dad. I've put it off long enough." He stood and stretched then looked down at me and added, "I'll be back tomorrow."

"See ya," I said with a nod.

"Yep," he replied as he walked slowly past Edward, giving him the evil eye, and then out the door.

Edward closed the door then walked toward me and stopped at the end of the bed to grip the footboard. "How are you?" he asked quietly.

"I'm fine."

"So, you've decided to wait. Are you sure that's wise?"

I glanced down at my hand that was resting over my baby bump. "No, I'm not sure, but I've got to try, don't you think? I would have asked your opinion, but you disappeared so I made the decision myself." I didn't realize how pissed I was at him until right now. Dad was right. He should have been here with me, instead of Jake. He is my husband and this baby's father.

"I'm sorry. I needed some time to think."

"And?"

He stepped over to sit on the bed beside me. "And, I'm having a difficult time coming to terms with what I've done, what you've done, and the consequences of those actions."

I snorted, "Consequences . . . you make it sound like a prison sentence or something."

"It feels that way to me. How do you think it will for me to watch you growing bigger every day with Jacob's child?" he asked coldly.

The look of pain that crossed his face was too much for me to bear and words just started spilling out of my mouth. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I never meant for it to happen. It's not like I set out to have sex with him. He came back two nights before the wedding, and I hadn't seen him for weeks. I know it sounds so stupid, but it just happened. I should have stopped him and I didn't and I am so sorry that you found out this way. I never wanted you to know because it was a one-time thing, and I didn't want to see you hurt. I went ahead with the wedding because I love _you,_ and I wanted to be with _you_."

"But you love him, too. I knew it that day on the mountain when he kissed you, but I thought . . . I was so sure you loved me more. I just never imagined that you would go that far. I guess he could give you something that I couldn't, or wouldn't."

"Damnit, Edward. _I_ did this, and _I'm_ sorry. It was a mistake . . . it should never have happened, and I don't expect you to forgive me, but I hope . . . somehow, maybe we could get past it."

His head shook back and forth as he said slowly, "Now you are pregnant with a baby from each of us . . . I have no idea how to deal with that. It's like you'll always have to choose between us."

I reached out to grip his arm. "But I did choose . . . I chose _you_."

He gave me a small sad smile. "Yes, you did. And look what you got. Bella, this thing, this . . ."

"Baby, Edward. It is a baby."

"This _baby_, will kill you, Bella. I did my own research. Most mothers don't live through the childbirth."

"But none of them had Carlisle standing by to take it out before it hurts me. I trust him, Edward."

"I trust him, too. But then there is the matter of . . . the other baby. Are you willing to sacrifice it?"

I felt that I should say yes, but I couldn't. I shook my head slowly. "No," I admitted quietly.

He turned away from me to lean forward resting his forearms on his thighs. "So then, this is folly. Just let him take it, Bella. I can't stand the thought of having a reminder of my failure around me all the time." He dropped his head to stare at the floor as I thought about what he just said.

_Failure? This is about him? _I sat up straighter in my anger to ask,"Did you seriously just call our baby a 'reminder of your _failure?'_ How is this about you, Edward? We made this baby _together_. We were in love, on our honeymoon, when some people end up making babies. How is that a failure? You're not even supposed to be able to make babies! I think it's more like a miracle!"

"A miracle?" he sneered as he shot off of the bed. "My God, Bella. I saw what you looked like after we made this little _miracle_. What I did to you. And now, this _miracle_ is growing too fast and will probably end up killing you!"

This was quickly becoming beyond ridiculous. I couldn't stand to hear the words that were coming out of his mouth. "Stop it, Edward. Just stop. I can't take anymore. You can be upset with me over what happened with Jake, but not this. This is _our baby_, Edward, and Rosalie is right. It deserves a chance to live, so I am going to try and give it a chance. Carlisle will know when enough is enough and I will listen to him. But I will not tolerate you hating this child because it reminds you of your _failure._"

Edward looked at me and nodded curtly. "Fine. Do whatever what you want. But I'm not sure I can be a part of it." Then he turned on his heel and walked out of the room. I laid back against the pillows and let the tears come once again as I wondered, _How are we ever going to get through this?_


	15. Chapter 14

_**A/N: **Sorry it has taken so long to update . . . too many distractions keeping me from writing! I'm also having a tough time trying to decide which way I want this story to go. It's not flowing as easily as some of the other stories I have written. Enjoy, and as always, I love to hear what you think!_

**CHAPTER 14**

**Jake POV:**

I was pacing back and forth in front of my house, practicing what to say to my dad when the door opened and Paul stepped out. I stopped my pacing to look at him then proceeded to laugh my ass off! His broken nose had healed, but his face was still covered with yellow and purple bruises. Giving me a menacingly glare, Paul growled, "Go ahead, laugh it up, you dick, but watch your back, Jake."

"OK, Paul," I choked out as he stalked off in to the woods. _Oh, that was so worth it._ Once I got myself under control again, I got back to the matter at hand. I decided I had stalled long enough, so I turned and with a deep breath, opened the door and walked inside.

Rachel was in the kitchen, washing the dishes and her angry glare greeted me as soon as I stepped into the room. "So, um, still pissed at me for breaking Paul's nose, I see. I just saw him, he's fine, you know."

"That's not the point, Jacob," Rachel spit out angrily. "I can't stand the way you treat him. You have no idea what kind of home life he has. You've never even tried to get to know him at all. None of you have." And with that, she whipped around to throw the silverware rather violently into the dish water.

I took a deep breath then stepped over to her. "I'm sorry, you're right. I've never tried to get to know Paul. But, in my defense, he has never allowed any of us to get too close. He's closest to Sam and Jared, but he's always been a complete jerk to the rest of us, so we just avoid him most of the time. But now he's here, all the time . . . and I'm sorry, I let him get on my nerves and I lost it. I promise, I'll try . . . harder."

Turning slowly, Rachel stopped to look up at me and I saw such sadness and worry in her eyes as she said, "That's all I'm asking, Jake." I had picked up the dish towel to help dry when she took it from me then wiped her hands before she asked, "You think I went to college for four years just to come back here and fall in love with some 18 year old kid?" With a snort, she answered her own question, "Hell, no. I got out of here . . . I was going somewhere. Then I come home for a visit, and wham! I take one look at Paul, and suddenly I'm thinking about a little house and making curtains and baking pie and having babies. I don't know what the hell happened, Jake."

Seeing the tears in her eyes, I hauled her to me and held her while she sniffed. "I know. You got hit by the imprinting bus. I hear it's a killer."

After a minute or two, she pulled away from me to wipe her eyes with the dish towel that was still in her hands. "Paul is a great guy. He's funny and sweet and yet strong and tough . . . and he's sexy as hell. I've never met anyone like him. I do love him, God help me," she finished with a short laugh. "But I just really need some support right now, Jake, cause I'm a little shaky."

With a sigh, I admitted, "Yeah, I know that feeling. I think I got you beat this time, sis."

Rachel looked up at me curiously. "What are you talking about?"

I sighed and took her hand. "Come with me and you'll find out." I led her into the living room, where I knew I would find my dad in front of the TV. "Hey Dad. You got a second? I need to talk to you and . . . it's pretty important."

Looking up at me, Dad clicked the TV off to say, "Sure, son. What's up?"

Rachel sunk down onto the couch and joined Dad in staring at me . . . waiting . . . _OK, Jake, this is where you talk . . . _"Um, well . . . I found out something today that I need to tell you."

"OK, go ahead," Dad prompted.

With a deep breath I said, "I found out today that . . . Bella is pregnant. With my baby." I watched Dad's face carefully for a reaction, but he was so good at hiding his feelings, I wasn't sure what he might think. Rachel, on the other hand . . .

"Are you serious, Jake? You had sex with her? She's married!" she shouted as she jumped off the couch.

"Well, it was before she was married . . . two days before."

"Oh my God, Jacob," she said in disgust and then she turned on Dad. "Didn't you ever talk to him about condoms? This town is small, but I know they sell them somewhere!" Then she whipped around to me again, her eyes blazing. "You're only 17, but you're not that fucking stupid!"

"Rachel. Enough," Dad said sternly. Fuming, she looked back at him then with exhaled as she sunk back down onto the couch crossing her arms over her chest. "Tell me what happened, Jacob."

I sat down to perch on the edge of the couch as I started, "Well, I don't think you need _all _the details, but . . . I came home a couple of days before her wedding. You know I told you that I had no idea that she wasn't married already. I went to her house first thing and just sat there looking up at her window. I just wanted to think about her and remember . . . then I saw her, and caught her scent."

I got up from the couch and walked over to the window to look out at the back yard and remember . . . _how beautiful Bella had looked there in her window that night . . . how her scent had floated out to draw me from the woods . . . and led me to ask if I could climb up and see her. _

"Jake?" Dad interrupted my thoughts.

"Oh, yeah. I, uh, asked if I could climb up, and she said yes. But, this was the first I had been human in weeks, and it was like the wolf was still in charge or something. I know this sounds so weird, but the wolf inside wanted her, and I didn't stop him. But what blew me away is that she wanted me just as much." I turned back to face them.

"So, yes, Rachel, I know about condoms, but I didn't go there with that intent. But like I told Charlie, I should have stopped when I saw where it was going, and I didn't. But I'm glad. I love Bella. I will always love Bella. And that night was something special . . . I'll never forget it or regret it."

"And it served another purpose, didn't it son? She has to stay human now."

"Yes. And, there's more, Dad. Here's where it really gets weird." I sat down again to explain to him how Bella had also become pregnant by Edward and how Carlisle had wanted to remove the thing from Bella to save her life and that of our unborn baby. "But you know Bella, she's stubborn and she wants to try and keep that thing inside of her a little longer and give it a better chance to live. Carlisle is going to watch her and he assured me he would take action if he thought that she or my baby was in danger."

Rachel and Dad were staring at me like I had horns growing out of my head. "So, she's pregnant with a vampire baby _and_ a wolf baby? Well, that's a first, I'm sure," Dad commented. "I had no idea they could . . . do that."

Rachel looked over at Dad then at me with a disgusted look on her face. "How can you be so calm about this, Dad?" she erupted as she jumped off the couch again. "My God, this is a nightmare!" Then she turned on me. "And you! You are 17 fucking years old. You can't support this kid. And Bella is married to the father of her other freaking half-breed child. How can you possible by happy about this? Do you have any idea how this is going to work?"

"No, I don't, Rachel," I shot back. "I have no fucking idea what's going to happen yet. She just found out she's pregnant, OK? She's only like 5 or 6 weeks. We have time to figure this shit out."

I sighed and sank back into the couch cushions. "Look, I have no idea how this thing is going to play out, but I will take responsibility for this baby. I want to graduate mid-term then find a job."

I glanced over at Dad and there it was . . . the look that I knew was coming. That look that said, _You have responsibilities to this tribe, Jacob. You are the heir, Jacob_. So, I beat him to the punch. "Yes, Dad, I know I have responsibilities to live up to here on the rez, and I promise I won't forget. I'm doing the best I can here. You do get that, right?"

I could see he was trying his best to be patient with me, even though it was killing him. "Yes, Jacob. I get that. I'm proud of you for wanting to take care of this baby and your duties, but it won't be easy."

"I know that."

"And Charlie? You said, he knows?"

I smiled at that. "Yeah, Bella told him tonight. But of course, she didn't tell him the whole truth. He thinks that she's pregnant with twins and one is not growing right, and that I _might_ be the father. We'll figure out how to tell him the rest later. And, he's not the happiest about us becoming parents so young, but he didn't shoot me, so I figure it'll be OK."

Dad actually chuckled at that. I glanced over at Rachel who had been very quiet for awhile, which wasn't like her at all. "Rach? You want to finish yelling at me now?"

She looked up at me and shook her head. "Nope. Wouldn't do any good, would it? So, what's the point?" And with that, she got up, went to her room and closed the door.

I turned to Dad who smiled and said, "Well, I guess we know how she feels about it." Then his tone became more serious as he asked, "Jacob, what about this other baby? Carlisle is sure that it is . . . Edward's?"

"Yes. Apparently it is very rare, and they grow faster than human babies. That's how he could tell that one was mine and one was his."

Dad just nodded then turned to look out the window. I waited for a moment to see if he had anything else to say, but he seemed lost in his own thoughts. All of a sudden, I found I was exhausted as it had been an emotionally draining day. "I'm beat. I think I need some sleep," I told Dad. I stood up and added, "Thanks for understanding. I'm sorry about all this."

Realizing I said something, Dad turned back to say, "Well, Jacob, what's done is done. Now you have to be a man and deal with it."

"Yeah, I'm trying. I really am. Good night."

"Night, son."

Walking slowly to my room, I shut the door, slipped out of my shorts and hit the bed in just my boxers. There were so many decisions that would have to be made and things to work out, but right now, I just wanted to forget it all and sleep. So I did.

_"You are making this up. This is too fucking weird even for Bella!" _Embry and I were on patrol and I was filling him in on what happened yesterday.

_"I wish, dude. It's all true."_

_"Oh my God, I can't wait to tell Leah. She will shit when she hears this!"_

_"Yeah, can we wait on that for a little bit? I need some time to digest this before I face her."_

_"Don't wait too long. You know she has a way of finding things out. So what are you going to do, bro?"_

_"I don't know. I'm going to spend time with Bella during the day I guess, and ask Sam to put me on night patrol for right now. After that, I haven't figured anything else out."_

I felt someone phasing in just as Embry asked, _"Does Sam know yet?"_

_"Does Sam know what?" _Sam, great.

_"Uh, I found out yesterday that Bella is pregnant . . . with my baby."_

_"What? You and Bella? When?"_

_"Two days before her wedding. When I came home, I went there first. I didn't go there for that, it just happened . . . and now, she's pregnant."_

_"Yeah, but tell him the rest! Wait till you hear this, Sam." _I growled at Embry to let him know he needed to shut up now.

_"The rest?" _

_"Yeah, well, Bella is also pregnant by Edward." _I let him see how Carlisle explained everything to me and Edward so he would understand.

_"Are you fucking kidding me? They can reproduce? This changes everything!"_

_"How does this change everything?"_

_"Think about it, Jake. If they can reproduce . . . we have no idea what kind of a threat this kid is. Is he going to kill it or what?"_

_"If it causes Bella any stress, yes, he will take it out, but she wants to wait and give it a chance to grow a little more to give it a better . . . "_

_"No, Jake. This can't happen. They can't start popping out little bloodsucking babies . . ."_

_"Sam, stop! You heard Carlisle say this is rare . . . this is not something that can happen all the time. The Cullens have lived here how long? And now you think they are going to start grabbing up human women and impregnating them to make super, bloodsucking babies?"_

_"Regardless, Jake, the treaty doesn't cover this. We need to talk to Cullen, to let him know this is unacceptable."_

_"Whatever, fine. Just don't go off thinking we have to attack and kill this thing. I don't think it will really be a problem. The research that Carlisle found shows that most of them don't live very long anyway."_

_"But what if it does live, Jake? We need to take some precautions, we need to . . . "_

_"Sam, chill! You're pissing me off here. This is Bella we're talking about . . . and she's pregnant with my baby, too. Even though she's married to that fucking leech, she still deserves our protection. Just like Emily. My baby deserves our protection."_

_"So you're willing to take the chance that this thing could kill your baby?"_

_"No, I'm not, but Bella is. And Carlisle has assured me he won't let it get that far and I trust him. Come on, Sam. What don't you get?"_

_"I don't get how you can be so fucking calm about this! They are making new vampires! That is against the treaty. You know the punishment for that."_

_"Look Sam I have enough to deal with right now. I don't need this shit."_

_"Well, golly gee, Jake. I am so fucking sorry that our job as protectors of this reservation is interfering with your pathetic love life. You need to pull your head out of your ass and realize what is really going on here. I'm going to the elders."_

_"And what, Sam? Are you going to insist that they kill this thing?"_

_"I'm not sure yet. I'll go by what the elders decide."_

_"Damnit, Sam! Look, Dad already knows and he didn't flip out like you are."_

_"Still, I think all the elders need to know."_

_"Fine, we'll go together."_

Just then, we felt Jared phase in and Sam let me go so I could get over to check on things at the Cullen house. He told me he wanted to be kept up on everything that was going on so he could be prepared. _Be prepared_ . . . I couldn't believe he really thought this baby was a threat to us. I trusted Carlisle and I thought Sam did. Carlisle is the one that wanted to get rid of this thing in the first place. Would he really do that if he thought it was some super bloodsucking creature? _Geez, Sam, you're such a dick._

I stopped at home long enough to shower and change then since it was actually a nice, sunny summer day, I decided to ride over on the bike. Riding the motorcycle always made me think of Bella. Working on those bikes had been some of the best days of my life. All of my best days included Bella, even back to when we were little and Charlie would bring her around during her summer visits. Fishing with our dads, making mud pies, playing pranks on my sisters . . . those were good times. And now we would have a child together to tell those stories to.

A smile hovered on my lips as I flew down the road from La Push to Forks, pushing the bike up to 70 and loving the feel of the engine roaring under me. The only thing that would make it better is if Bella was sitting on the seat behind me, with her arms locked around my waist. _Maybe someday . . ._

I pulled up to the house, parked the bike then made my way slowly over the perfectly manicured lawn to the sidewalk that led to the front door, wonderingfor a brief minute if the Cullens had a gardener or if they mowed the lawn themselves. I laughed out loud as I tried hard to picture perfectly groomed Edward behind a lawn mower. _Pretty sure they had a gardener. _I knocked and took a few deep breaths to prepare myself for the stale air inside the house when the door was opened by the pixie, uh . . . Alice.

"Hey, mutt."

"Leech," I nodded to her as I walked into the house. "Where have you been?" It had amazed me that she and her man weren't here yesterday.

"Hunting," she replied.

"What, no trophies to bring back and hang on the wall?" I asked.

"Not this time. I'm waiting to bag a wolf. Want to volunteer?" she asked with what I hoped was hint of humor, but I wasn't so sure by the look in her eye.

I snickered anyway. "Good one."

She rolled her eyes then glided away on her three inch heels as I made my way to Bella's room to knock on the door.

After hearing her call out, "Come in," I walked in, closing the door behind me and made my way over to the bed to say, "Hey, Bells." She was sitting up against a pile of pillows, and I noticed the tan she had when she came home from her honeymoon was fading fast. She still wore her Paramore t-shirt and her hair was now pulled back into a pony tail.

She greeted me with a small smile. "Hey, Jake."

"You don't look so good," I told her, trying to hide my concern with a smile.

"Gee, thanks. I'm dealing with morning sickness. It's a blast. You should try it."

Sitting down on the bed beside her, I said sincerely, "I'm sorry. What can I do to help?"

"Hand me that glass of ginger ale."

I handed it to her for her to take a few sips then hand it back. "Does it help?"

"Yeah, it really does."

She snuggled back into the pillows as I asked, "So, why are you laying here all alone? Where's your _husband_?" _Yuck . . . that word tasted awful coming out of my mouth._

A look of sadness mixed with anger came over her as she said, "I don't know. He's . . . upset."

"Well, duh, Bells. Aren't we all? He should suck it up and be here to support you."

"He's having a hard time getting over the fact that I slept with my best friend two days before our wedding and got pregnant. Kind of hard to 'suck that up.' "

"Bullshit! He's got a baby here that might die. He should be more concerned about that right now. If he wants to fight me later, fine, but he needs to get his fucking priorities straight."

I saw her bite her lip, which she only did when she was really upset. "I don't think he wants this baby to live, Jake. He told me he didn't want a 'reminder of his failure.' "

"His failure? What the hell does that mean?" _This fucker has a lot of nerve to make this all about him._

"It means that you succeeded where he failed, alright? He hates himself for not being able to make love to his wife without causing me so much physical pain. And the fact that he didn't get there first is just salt in the wound. And on top of that, your baby is a normal, human baby, growing at a normal rate, while his is . . . well, he is sure it is some kind of monster that will kill me."

I closed my eyes briefly and let out a sigh. "OK, I get that. It's a pride thing. But, still, you need him. He could push that aside right now and get his ass in here."

"Yes, he should. But maybe he's not capable. I don't know. This whole thing is such a mess." Bella eyes fluttered shut just as one lone tear escaped and made its way down her cheek.

I reached out and gently brushed it away with my thumb as I told her softly, "Bella, I know this is a mess, but I'm not going anywhere."

Suddenly, she sat up and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I know I shouldn't, Jacob, but I really need you right now."

My arms went around her and I buried my face into her neck to inhale her scent. _Bella needs me. And God knows how much I need her._

Reluctantly I let go as she pulled away after a minute or so and laid back against the pillows again. "I'm already so sick of being held prisoner in this room, and it's only the first day! How am I going to do this until this baby is ready to be born?"

"Well, it is a beautiful day out there, Bells," I said with a smile. "Why don't you come outside with me for a little fresh air? Carlisle certainly can't be against that."

Her brilliant smile made my heart flip-flop. "No, he can't. I think it's a great idea."

"OK then," I said as I stood up. "Are you allowed to walk, or should I carry you?" I asked with a grin.

With a roll of her eyes, Bella threw the covers back and climbed out of bed. "I can walk, but thanks for that completely selfless offer," she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm, which made me chuckle.

Bella slipped her feet into her old Vans sneakers then we walked slowly out the door and through the living room toward the back door that I had used yesterday. Emmett and his woman were in the living room and as we walked by and Blondie asked anxiously, "Where are you taking her?"

"Outside for some fresh air and sunshine. It's like a morgue in here," I answered. " Oh wait, it is," I added with a grin. I enjoyed the scowl that I got from her as Emmett laughed heartily. I was sure he would pay for that laugh later.

I opened the back door and stepped aside for Bella to walk by me then I followed and took a deep breath. "Ahhh, smell that fresh air? Come on, Bells, take a deep breath."

I watched as she inhaled deeply then admitted, "It is nice."

Taking her hand, we strolled across the backyard until we found a nice grassy area in the sunshine then I stopped and suggested, "Let's sit here in the sun for awhile." I helped her get settled on the ground then I plopped down beside her.

"Won't you roast here in the sun? Your body temp is already 108."

"Naw, I'll be fine. Here, let me get behind you so you have something to lean on." I laid on my side and propped my head on my hand as Bella leaned back against my stomach. "How's that?"

"Good, thanks."

It was a beautiful warm day, and I was laying in the sun with the girl I loved who was pregnant with my child. I was having a hard time containing my joy! I wanted so badly to reach out and draw her down to me, to kiss her full lips and tell her how much I loved her. _I would run my fingers through her long, brown hair and . . ._

Bella suddenly broke the silence between us and brought me back from my fantasy world by saying, "Jake? I have no idea how things are going to work out with . . . our baby and all, but, I want to say that, even though you're really young, I think you'll be a good father."

I could feel a huge smile stretch across my face as I said, "Wow, thanks. I hope so. I'm really going to try."

Bella looked at me and surprised me by running her hand through my hair as she said, "I know you will. You are already." _And he wasn't_. I heard her subtle meaning. Then she surprised me even more by asking, "Do you ever . . . um, think about . . . that night?"

_That night? The night when all my wet dreams came true? When don't I think about it? _"Uh, yeah. Like every night. And every morning when I take a cold shower."

"God, Jake, you're such a guy," she said with a slight smile.

"What? It was the best night of my life, Bella. Of course I'm going to relive it over and over. It may be the only one I get."

"I doubt that. You'll find a girl someday, Jacob. Someone who will love you the way you deserve."

"Yeah, right," I scoffed as she shook her head at me. Then I thought about her question, and decided I had to know. "Do you? Think about that night?" I asked as my free hand developed a mind of its own and slowly moved to run my fingers through the pony tail hanging down her back.

"Yes," she admitted quietly.

I sat up to look into her eyes. "And?"

Her shyness just made me want her all the more as she admitted, "And, I shouldn't. But I can't help it."

_God, I want to kiss her so badly right now. Would that be taking advantage of her? She's so vulnerable . . . _I found my body was way ahead of my brain as it was already leaning toward her, my hand moving to cup her cheek . . . then I froze as I heard, "Sorry to interrupt, but kindly remove your hand from my wife before I break it off."

I felt rage run through me instantly as I jumped up to face the little prick. "So, you finally remembered you _had _a wife, you fucking coward."

"Coward?"

"Yeah, the first time your _wife _needs you, you take off to run and hide."

"And I can see you were more than happy to fill in for me once again, weren't you?" Edward snarled back.

I got right up into his face and said evenly, "Well, like then, she needed a _man_, and since I am the only one around . . ." He grabbed my by the shirt as he growled and I yelled, "Bring it on!"

"Stop it! Stop it both of you!" Bella yelled at us she pushed herself to stand behind us.

I shoved Edward away from me and turned to Bella. "Hey, don't move. You're supposed to be off your feet."

"Yeah, well, someone has to stop you two. I can't stand it!" Edward turned to leave as Bella shouted, "I need you here, Edward. Don't you dare walk away!"

"I think three's a crowd, don't you?" he answered with a sneer at me. I glared back and sent him the mental message, _I'm ready to continue this anytime you are, you bloodsucking bastard._

"Stop it. Jake just brought me outside to get some fresh air and sun, that's all."

"Really, Bella? You're actually going to stand there and deny the fact that you were close to letting him kiss you?"

Bella closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "Jacob? Can you give me a minute alone with Edward please?"

"Are you sure?" I asked her, never taking my eyes from him.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Alright, I'll just be right over there." I nodded to the right while throwing a glare at Edward as I walked past him to wait about 50 feet away. With my enhanced wolf hearing, I knew I could still hear every word they said.

"Edward, I need you," Bella began. "I need you to support me and be with me. That's what a husband does in a crisis like this. I know you're pissed about Jake and you should be. And me spending time with him doesn't help. But one of these babies is his and as it's father, he has a right to be here, the same as you. And . . . he's here and you're not, and I am very confused right now." I heard her voice break on that last part, and I knew she was close to tears.

"Is that some kind of threat, Bella? If I'm not here to take care of you, you'll turn to him? Because of the past, I'm well aware of that." A growl erupted from my chest and it was all I could do to stand still and not run over there and rip his fucking head from the rest of his body.

"Look, I deserved that, I know, but, as I've tried to tell you, I did not run to Jake for sex. Whether you believe it or not, it just happened, and that's the truth. Look, Edward, can we please stop this? Can we put this aside for now and just focus on _our_ baby? I'm scared . . . I don't know what is going to happen with this baby, and me . . . and I need you to sit with me and hold me . . . " she was really crying now. "Please, Edward? Can we go back to the house now . . . together?"

I found myself standing there, holding my breath waiting for his answer. He was right . . . I was more than ready to step in if he said no.

Finally he nodded and without a word, picked her up into his arms to carry her back to the house. I closed my eyes and felt all the air just go out of me. "Damned asshole. Now he decides to do the decent thing," I muttered. I was _so close_ . . . so close to kissing her. I leaned back against a tree and ran my hands through my hair in frustration. "OK, Jake, to be fair, she is _his_ wife, not yours. No matter how much you wish she was."

With a deep sigh, I pushed myself away from the tree and made my way slowly around to the front of the house where I had parked my bike. No use sticking around now. I crawled onto the seat, cranked the engine to life and roared down the long drive away from the woman I loved.

**_A/N: _**_Sorry for another note, but I wanted to let you know that this chapter when on way too long, so I chopped it in two and made it two chapters. So, you get to spend the next chapter with Jacob again . . . sorry. ;) _


	16. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15**

**Jacob POV:**

"Jacob Ephraim Black! What the hell have you gotten yourself into now?" Leah stood there at the garage door with a menacing glare, hands on her hips, obviously waiting for me to get home. _Great. Just what I need. _

"Hey, Leah. Nice day, huh?" I returned with a polite smile on my face as I walked the bike into the garage.

"Oh, no. No fucking way, mister. You are going to tell me why I had to find out from Sam, SAM of all people, that your precious Bella DOES have your bun in her oven!"

Turning to her, I sighed, "Leah, I'm sorry. I was telling Embry, and Sam just popped into our conversation. I was going to tell you, I was just . . . waiting . . . for an opportune moment."

In anger, she shot back, "Why don't you just say it, Black? You were too chicken shit to tell me. And the part about the leech baby? That can't be true, is it?"

"Yep, it's true."

I could see her anger turn to shock and disgust as she said in awe, "She got knocked up by both of you, at the same time. Man, I gotta hand it to her, she's good. Little Miss Selfish gets everything she's always wanted. She's got both of you by the balls now."

"Knock it off, Leah. It wasn't like that and you know it." I turned my back to her to shove the bike keys into the tool box where I kept them.

"No, of course not. I forgot she can do no wrong," I heard her say, her sarcasm being her favorite weapon. Then she took a breath and walked to stand beside me as she crossed her arms over her chest and say, "So, talk. Did you see her today?" I nodded silently as I picked up a rag from the work bench to wipe some mud off of the bike. "And? Vamp baby still there?"

"Yes. And so is mine, for now." I stepped over to the bike and squatted down beside it to start wiping it down.

"Jake? You're pissed and not just at me. What happened?"

I stood up and shook my head as I spit out, "He's being such a dick! Yeah, I get that he's upset I slept with her and got her pregnant, but, he acts like he hates his baby and it's killing her. She needs him and he's just acting like a prick, that's all."

"Might work to your advantage, you know."

"Yeah, it almost did. I took her outside, you know, to get some fresh air. We were sitting in the sunshine, and she asked me if I ever thought about that night we spent together. I told her I did, every night. Then she told me she thought about it, too, even though she knew she shouldn't, and then . . . I leaned in to kiss her and . . . BAM, the fucking coward picks that moment to finally show up."

"Oooh, cockblocked by the husband!" I shot her a look as she laughed and left the work bench to stand in front of me. "Come on, Jake. Your life is better than a soap opera right now. Makes my life really boring in comparison."

I rolled my eyes and told her I was glad I could supply entertainment for her enjoyment. That's when Embry walked in. "Oh, so here you are," he said to Leah. "I've been looking all over for you." Moving behind her, his arms around her waist as he leaned down to nuzzle her neck.

I watched as Leah tilted her head to give him better access then whined, "Geez, guys. Haven't I been tortured enough today?"

"What's with him?" Embry griped as he pulled himself from Leah's neck.

"His almost kiss was interrupted by the husband. I was just getting the juicy details. Go on, Jakey."

"There's nothing more to tell," I huffed. "She stopped me from beating the shit out of him, pushed me aside and he carried her back to the house like Prince Fucking Charming."

"God, you're pathetic. I don't think I want to hear anymore." Leah pulled away from Embry to step forward and put her hands on my arms. "Jake, listen. Bella has a piece of you growing inside her, and if what I heard is true, it looks like yours has a lot better chance of actually surviving. That means, you're going to be bonded to her for life. Hang in there, kid, cause I think you've got a much better shot at little miss hot pants that her moody bloodsucker has. Sooner or later he'll crack and be gone. And you'll be there to pick up the pieces, just like before. Only this time, you have an ace in the hole. Or the womb, as it were."

I shook my head and smiled down at Leah. She had such a simplistic way of looking at things, and yet she was right. I would be bonded to Bella for the rest of our lives through our child. I would always have a connection to her. I just hated always coming in second.

"Leah's right, bro. Cheer up. Your time will come," Embry added with a smack on the back. "Come on, let's get out of here and have some fun. Let's hit the beach. It's a great day for it. Besides, I wanna see Leah here in her orange bikini." He actually leered at her and got smacked for it.

"No thanks. I'm going to stay here and work on the Harley. I really don't feel like sitting there watching you two make out all day."

"Aw, come on Jake. I'll be good, but I can't promise Leah will," Embry said with a wink at Leah.

Leah reached over to take Embry's face in her hands and kissed him soundly on the lips. "There, that should hold you awhile. I'll make it up to you later, babe."

With a huge grin on his face, Embry smacked Leah on the ass then shouted, "Alright then. Let's go!"

With a laugh, I insisted, "No really, you guys go ahead. I'll be OK."

"Alright," Embry sighed. "Maybe we can meet up later tonight and shoot off some fireworks. Quil told me he got some new stuff to try out."

I nodded to Embry and finally gave in. "OK. Sounds good. I'll find you later."

Just as they left the garage, I heard Rachel call out, "Jake? Sam's on the phone for you. He says it's important!"

I made my way inside then picked up the phone in the kitchen to say, "Yeah?"

"The elders are meeting, tonight at six, at your house. And Jake? We need to be together on this, man."

"Look, Sam, I already told you how I feel. I will protect my baby, and if that means protecting Bella while this thing is inside her, I will do that. Got it?"

I heard him pull in a breath before he said, "Yeah, I got it. See you tonight."

I hung up the phone and sighed then rested my forehead against the wall. I really didn't need this shit. Wasn't I already dealing with enough? Bella was pregnant with two babies, one from each of us. It would be pretty funny if it wasn't so disgusting.

I stepped over to the fridge to take out a can of Pepsi and pop the top to take a long drink. I was not looking forward to this meeting tonight. At least my dad was the tribal leader and I hoped he would back me up. _If they insist on killing this thing, what will I do_? I had no fucking idea.

Six o'clock rolled around and soon my small living room was filled with people: Dad, Sue Clearwater and Old Quil, who was Quil's grandpa, the elders of our tribe, and Sam and me. Dad looked at Sam and said, "Sam, I know you are the one that called this meeting, but I think we should have Jacob go first to explain what is happening." Sam nodded then turned to me. I could see a challenge in his look that poked at the wolf inside me.

I took a deep breath to calm myself then I stood up and began my explanation. I could see Sue's reaction immediately . . . she wasn't good at hiding her feelings. She was surprised when she heard Bella was pregnant by me, and scared when she heard about Edward's baby. Old Quil, never showed anything on his face at all. In fact, I wondered if he was even awake.

Finally, I finished and Dad nodded at me so I sat back down. "So," Dad began, "Sam has called this meeting to discuss how this affects the treaty that we have with the Cullens. He believes that this breaks the treaty and that we should proceed as the treaty dictates with the punishment that is written."

"Dad, come on. Sam is being a little over dramatic . . . "

Sam jumped up and turned on me. "And Jake is too emotionally involved to see what is really going on here. They are making a new vampire, and that violates the treaty! We have to insist on it's . . . "

"On it's what, Sam?" I shot back as I stood up and got in his face. "What is it you want us to do? Attack Bella and rip it out of her?"

"We will do whatever we have to do," he said evenly.

Before I could react, my dad shouted, "Enough! Both of you, sit down and shut up."

We both sat down on our kitchen chairs, glaring at each other like we were six as Dad went on, "Jacob, no one is suggesting we hurt Bella in any way. She is pregnant with your baby, the Black heir. We will protect her," he said as he looked directly at Sam. "But, this other baby does cause us some concern. I propose we meet with Carlisle to discuss this with him. He has to realize that we would be concerned about the treaty."

I could see Sam shift in his chair and I knew he wasn't happy with that answer.

Finally Sue spoke up. "Jacob? You said that Bella is concerned about the safety of your baby. She wants this baby?"

"Yes, Sue. She does."

"But do you think this other baby would have priority over yours?"

"No" I answered with a shake of my head. "She told Carlisle that she did not want to take any chance of this baby hurting mine. She is being monitored every day by Carlisle and if he sees any stress on my baby or on Bella, he will take it immediately."

"So do they think there really is a chance of this child surviving?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I get the feeling from Carlisle that he doesn't think so, but he is giving it a chance because Rosalie asked him to. I guess she's got this baby fixation or something because she never wanted to become a vampire. She wanted to be married and raise a family, so maybe she's hoping to get a chance with this baby. She talked Bella into waiting."

"See?" Sam interjected. "Now that she has this idea in her head, she could try to get some other woman to have a baby for her. They could make more of these things!"

"Oh my God, Sam, would you give it a fucking rest?" I cried out.

He jumped up to say, "No, I won't give it a _fucking rest_. This is a big deal, Jake, whether you think so or not. You just can't see it because Bella is involved. Look, she doesn't have to be hurt, OK? She is pregnant with your baby, and that keeps her safe. But this other baby . . . it has to be destroyed. Whether Carlisle takes it, or . . . "

"Or what, Sam? How are you going to keep Bella and my baby safe if you deem that WE have to take care of this? You are out of your fucking mind here!"

"STOP IT NOW!" Dad bellowed. "We are getting nothing accomplished here. I propose that we call Carlisle Cullen and meet with him. Period. Sam, I understand your concerns, and I share them. But we cannot go running into something that may cause harm to Bella or my grandchild."

Sam had his hands on his hips as he listened to my dad then I noticed him shaking his head back and forth. Finally, when dad was done speaking, he said, "Whatever. I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of all it. You all think I'm crazy for being so upset about this, but I really believe this could be a threat to us. If you don't trust me, then how can I do my job as Alpha of this pack?"

Sue spoke up again. "Sam, I don't think you're crazy at all. I, too, am a little leery about this. But Billy is right. We can't rush into anything here."

"Fine." Sam threw up his hands as he declared, "I'm done. I'm out of here. If you want a leader, you get Jake to step up and take his rightful place as Alpha. It's about fucking time he took it. He thinks he knows everything already." He looked over at me. "It's all yours now, buddy. I'm gone."

As he turned to leave, his words sunk in and I grabbed his arm. "You can't just quit. I don't know anything about being the Alpha. How am I supposed to know what to do?"

He huffed and said, "You can learn like I did. On the job. Now let go of my arm."

I let go and anxiously watched him stalk to the door and slam it behind him. My heart was beating out of my chest in terror. _I don't want to be the Alpha! I'm not ready. I can't do this._ I felt like I was in a complete panic as I looked over at Dad for help.

"Jacob? Take a deep breath, son. Sue, can you get Jake a glass of water, please?"

"Sure," she said as she got up from the couch and walked quickly to the kitchen. She returned in just a few seconds to hand me the glass. "Here, Jacob. Drink this and take a few breaths."

She stood beside me and I felt her hand rubbing my back as I took the glass from her and sipped the water.

"I think we have agreed on how to proceed here. Why don't you all leave, and I'll contact Carlisle and let you know when he can meet with us. I think Jacob needs some time to calm down."

Old Quil nodded and stood to join Sue as they walked out of the house. I was now sitting there, with my head in my hands, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. I looked up at Dad and asked, "He can't just do that, can he? He can't just quit."

"I think he just did, son."

I dropped my head again and wondered why my life had to suck so much.

The elders and I met with Carlisle the next day. He explained everything to them and assured them that he was monitoring the situation and he would not allow this baby to harm Bella or my baby. "But, I agree that the treaty does not cover this exact situation as I never thought to have it happen. This is very rare . . . I had no idea that this would happen between Edward and Bella. I am still doing research on this, but all I really have to go on are myths and legends, so it might take a while. I have to say that as a way to make more vampires, this is not nearly as efficient as going out and biting mature humans."

Dad nodded and listened patiently. "I understand. What I need from you, Carlisle, is an amendment to the treaty to cover this just in case we come across it again. I trust that you will monitor the current situation with Bella, and you will not allow her or my grandchild to be harmed in any way." Carlisle nodded. "If this child survives, what are your plans?"

Carlise shook his head before he answered. "I am not confident that this child will survive. There is a chance, but it is a slight chance. I have been thinking that if it does survive, we will certainly keep it with us, and if necessary, we will relocate. You have been good friends to us, and I don't want this to cause any problems for you."

"Relocate? You can't take Bella and my child away! My baby is Quileute and belongs here with me, on the rez," I stated anxiously.

"I understand that, Jacob, and that is something for you and Bella to discuss. I think we all have more thinking to do about this situation and figure out what is best for all parties involved," Carlisle returned.

Dad cleared his throat and said calmly to Carlisle, "Will you please keep us informed? And when you have time, we will meet again and go over the treaty. We are giving you our trust, Carlisle. It is not given lightly. And if we feel threatened in any way, we will protect ourselves."

"I understand, Billy. And I appreciate your trust, and I do not take it lightly. I will do all that I can to make this situation bearable for all of us."

My dad held his hand out to Carlisle, who took it and gave it a good shake with a smile. "Thank you. I will talk to you soon." He got up from the table and with a nod to me, left the room. Dad turned to Sue and Old Quil and asked if they were satisfied. They were, so they, too, left.

I looked over at Dad when they were gone and sighed, "I hate to say it, but the best thing for all of us is if this thing doesn't live." I knew it would cause Bella incredible pain and heartbreak, but it would certainly simplify things.

"Yes, I, too, believe that. But if it lives, we need to figure out how to deal with this. Keep visiting Bella and keep me informed."

I gave him a nod then asked, "So, about this Alpha thing . . . can you talk to Sam? I'm not ready, Dad." It had kept me awake all night. I never wanted to be a wolf in the first place, let alone the leader of the whole fucking pack. All that responsibility . . . and it couldn't have come at a worse time.

"Son, I don't think you have a choice. You always knew this day would come."

_Shit. I was afraid he would say that. _"Yeah, but I guess I didn't think it would come so soon. Like I don't have enough going on right now? I've got to finish school, and there's Bella to worry about and with a baby coming, I need to find a job . . . "

Dad put his hand on my shoulder and said, "I understand, Jake. It is a lot for a 17-year-old to handle. But I will be here to help. Look, your first decision as Alpha must be choosing a Beta. I would suggest Sam as your best choice, but under the circumstances, that may not be wise right now. Think, Jacob. Think hard about who would be best to help you manage the pack. Once you choose a Beta, that person can take some of the worry off of your shoulders."

The logical person was Sam, but like Dad said, that was not an option right now. I knew that left two who were next in the bloodline . . . and out of those, one person kept coming to mind over and over, and I finally decided that is who I would choose. Being Alpha wasn't something I ever wanted, but I was born into it, and I knew I would have to take it sooner or later. I just wish Sam wouldn't have forced it on me so soon. Life was such a bitch lately. And it just kept getting better and better.

I finally called a pack meeting later that day to let the rest of the pack know what had taken place. I was sure they felt the change, but I thought they deserved an explanation. I called the meeting at my house instead of Sam's, to make my point. The pack was gathered now, in my backyard, some sitting, some standing, all waiting to hear what I had to say.

"Hey, listen up!" I called out to get everyone's attention. "I'm sure most of you already know why you're here. I am now the Alpha of the pack. It had to happen sooner or later, I guess, so here we are." I looked around to try and gage the reaction. Paul was sucked to Sam's side, as was Jared, their arms all crossed over their chests, so I guess I knew where they stood. Quil, Embry, and Leah stood in another little group, while Seth sat with Brady and Collin.

"I also think you deserve to know why this happened." I went on to explain about Bella's pregnancy and how Sam thought Edward's baby might be a threat to us. I noticed the shocked look on the younger guys faces which made me realize how young 14 really was. I went on to tell them all about the meeting with the elders, our meeting with Carlisle, and our decision to wait and see what would happen. "So, any of you that don't agree with me or with the elders, you better speak up now." That's when I turned to Sam with a look that dared him to open his mouth.

I wasn't really surprised when Paul was the one to speak up. "Like we got a choice? What are we gonna do? Start our own pack?"

"Can if you want. I don't really give a rat's ass," I returned. He quickly looked to Sam to see what he might say about that, but Sam just shook his head slowly then stared at the ground. _Just what I thought_.

"Anybody else?" I asked looking around the pack. No one spoke up so I went on to say, "I want you all to know that I will do my best to make good decisions, but I want to ask for your patience as I try to make the adjustment. I'm going through a lot with Bella and the baby right now, and I need to finish school, so, time will be a something I won't have much of, but I will do my best. Because of that, I've decided that I need a Beta that I can trust and count on to pick up the slack. After much thought, and soul-searching, I have decided that," I stopped to walk over and stand in front of one of the best friends I had to announce, "Leah is my best choice."

You could have heard a pin drop . . . the silence was deafening. I broke it by asking her, "What do you say? Are you up for the job?" She looked at me with such shock on her face, I couldn't help but grin. "Leah?" I prompted.

"Yes," she finally responded. Then with a grin, she shouted, "Hell, yeah!"

That's when Sam exploded. "Are you fucking kidding me? _I_ should be your Beta. I already know the job."

"Yeah? Well that's not your call anymore," I threw in his face as I turned to him. It actually felt good to be able to stand up to him. The wolf inside howled with approval.

"Damnit, Jake! Fine, go ahead and punish me for not agreeing with you on this. We all knew you were the true Alpha anyway . . . I was just holding your place until you grew the balls to take it. But are you sure Leah is your best choice?"

Then Leah blew up. "You arrogant son of a bitch," she growled as she rushed at him. I stepped in between them and caught her at the last minute as she spit out, "You can't stand that someone else saw something in me, can you? You just expect me to follow you around like some lovesick little puppy for the rest of my life to feed your fucking ego! Well, it's not going to happen, Sam. I am SO DONE with you!"

Embry was right behind her and he held one of her arms while I held the other, but we couldn't shut her mouth as she went on to rail at Sam. "You ruined my life, you stupid prick! I felt like NOTHING. . . like garbage you just threw out until Jake became my friend and let me know that I wasn't just garbage. And then I found Embry . . . and believe me, Sam, he makes your dick look like a little boy's compared to the . . . "

"OK, that's enough," I interjected as I nodded to Embry to drag her away. "Get her to calm down, please," I begged him as I really didn't want her comparing penises in front of the rest of the pack.

"Come on, babe. You need to take a breather," he said as he pulled her off to the side to talk to her.

I looked back at Sam and said as calmly as I could, "Look, you set this in motion. I am now the Alpha and you have to go with MY decisions. You may not like them . . . but, hey, welcome to our world." I heard Quil and Seth snicker at that until I shot them a look that told them now was not the time. "But, I have chosen Leah as my Beta because she's strong and smart, and I know I can trust her. And you have no choice now but to deal with that. You _will _show her the respect she deserves, got it?"

I could see his anger seething, but he knew he had no choice but to accept it. Finally he gave me a curt nod then I turned to the rest of the group and said, "I will expect ALL of you to show her the same respect you show me." As I looked around, I saw that most everyone was in agreement, except Paul. But that didn't surprise me as he and Leah had always been like oil and water.

The group was quiet when Leah walked back over to stand beside me. She looked around at everyone, except Sam and Paul, and said, "Sorry about my little outburst there. Won't happen again." I ducked my head as I smiled at that because I knew it would. That was just Leah. She went on, "I am really proud that Jake chose me as his Beta and I promise all of you that I will do what's right for this pack."

Sam and Paul slowly backed away and left, but I noticed Jared stayed. I gave him a nod to let him know I appreciated his support and he gave me a small smile in return then moved over to stand next to Quil. I glanced at Leah to see if she noticed. She smiled at me and said, "Fuck them. They don't scare me."

The rest of the pack broke out in laughter and some even clapped. Then they all surrounded Leah and I to let us know just how they felt. "Bout fucking time, Jake. I think you'll do alright," Quil told me as he shoved me in the shoulder.

"Thanks, Quil. I hope so. And I hope you understand why I chose Leah instead of you, even though you're next in line. She's got more time on you, bro, and you have Claire . . ."

"It's OK, Jake, I get it. I'm not pissed. Give it to her . . . believe me, I don't want it." Quil shot me a grin and I wished how I could have said that to someone.

Embry grabbed Leah from behind and picked her up. "Yeah, baby!" He set her down and turned her around. "My girlfriend will be a bad ass Beta."

She laughed as she said, "Yeah, you better watch out. You never know what I might Beta order you to do."

"Hey, no abusing your new found authority," I reminded her as Seth walked up to join us. I turned to him and asked, "You OK with this?"

"She always orders me around anyway. No big deal to me," he answered with a shrug. Leah grinned and tousled his hair as he rolled his eyes then grinned back at her.

Each pack member let us know we had their allegiance by touching each of us on the shoulder before they left. I had been terrified about taking Alpha, but now . . . well, I was still pissed about it, but I thought maybe I _could_ handle it. Especially with Leah beside me to kick ass.


	17. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 16**

**Bella POV:**

Edward actually tried a little harder to put things aside and be there for me after his encounter with Jacob and me outside a couple of days ago. He would bring my breakfast tray in each morning and sit with me until I would get up to shower and dress then he would disappear until the evening when we played Backgammon or Cribbage to help pass the time. We talked very little . . . I guess he still wasn't ready for that, and I didn't push him. I hoped he would open up after he had a little more time to process everything.

True to his word, Carlisle kept a very close eye on me, checking in at least three times a day to take my vitals and measure my baby bump that was growing larger every day. I was still having trouble with the nausea, which was making it hard to keep food down, but he kept encouraging me to eat often instead of waiting for just three meals a day. I kept crackers with me at all times, as they were the one thing I could still eat that stayed down.

Jacob came by each day after lunch and stayed until dinner. I would spend time with him in the living room, or sometimes in the back yard if the weather was good, but always in view of someone. I really felt horrible about what Edward witnessed between Jacob and me . . . I was so close to letting him kiss me. I know I shouldn't have, but I was just so confused. Jacob was so sweet and caring and always there for me, while Edward was so moody and distant. Those intense feelings I had for Jacob kept resurfacing, no matter how deep I tried to bury them. I chalked it up to a weak moment and tried harder to keep Jake at arm's length.

I noticed Jacob was unusually quiet the last couple of times he visited and I could tell that something was upsetting him, but he refused to talk about it. He assured me it was just pack business and insisted that we focus on just me and the babies, so I let it go.

By the end of the week, Carlisle decided it was time for another ultrasound to see exactly what was going on, so at the appointed time, he drove Edward and me to the hospital and I arranged for Jacob to meet us there. The radiology department was quiet today, as it was Sunday, so Carlisle figured this would be a good time to do it.

Carlisle ushered us all into the same small room he and I had used before and I climbed onto the table and laid back while he readied the machine then instructed, "Alright, Bella, same as last time." I slid my shirt up then pushed down my sweatpants just a bit so he could squirt some gel on my stomach and I heard Jake gasp.

"Yeah, it's grown faster in the last couple of days," I told Jacob as he stared at the rounded mound on my belly.

"Here goes," Carlisle said as he took the wand and ran it over the gelled surface.

I was excited for both Edward and Jacob to be here. This would be the first time either of them would see their child. An image popped up on the screen and it was my turn to gasp! Edward's baby had grown so much in just a few days! "Oh my gosh, Carlisle. It's a lot bigger. It looks like a baby!"

"Yes, she does," he said as he quickly took the measurements.

"She? It's a girl?" I asked in awe.

Carlisle nodded with a small smile then went back to work as I immediately turned to Edward hoping to see the same amazement I felt at the sight of this baby we created written on his face, but instead was greeted with a blank, stoic expression that told me nothing.

I tried to hide my disappointment at his reaction, or lack thereof, and turned back to Carlisle as he explained, "This embryo was 6 centimeters at our last ultrasound, and now it is the size you would expect at almost 5 months. The other embryo is right on course for its age, at almost 7 millimeters."

"The other baby doesn't have much more room, does it?" I asked anxiously.

With a shake of his head, Carlisle answered, "We can only wait another day or two at best."

I nodded and glanced at Jacob who was completely enraptured at the image on the screen. I could tell just by looking at him how much this baby meant to him. There was no way I would allow any harm to come to it. Then I turned to Edward who in contrast was staring at the floor. I felt he had no attachment to our baby at all, and it hurt me so deeply.

"Alright, Bella, you can clean up and get dressed," Carlisle said as he typed on the keys.

I did just that then sat up as Carlisle smiled and held out his hand to help me down from the table. "Thanks."

The three of us walked out into the hall, as Carlisle stayed behind to finish up, and I excused myself to use the restroom. When I returned, only Jacob was there leaning against the wall waiting for me. "Where's Edward?"

"He went ahead with Carlisle . . . he said he had some questions he wanted to ask or something."

Nodding, I turned to walk down the hall, but Jacob stopped me by putting his hand on my arm and saying, "Bella, that was awesome . . . seeing our baby like that. I mean, it doesn't look much like a baby right now I guess, but . . . I was blown away."

I had to smile at the look on his face. He really was excited about this baby. "Yeah, it is pretty amazing." _It's too bad Edward couldn't see it that way._

"I just wanted to thank you for letting me come and see that."

"Of course, Jake. You're the father. You have every right to be here. And . . . I wanted you here."

As we started walking, Jake stated, "I think I'd like a little girl to spoil."

He would spoil her, too, I could tell. I glanced at him and said, "That's just what we need, some little princess walking around getting everything she wants."

Jacob stopped walking and as I looked over to see why, I watched in awe as his eyes softened when he explained, "Naw, she wouldn't be like that. I want to spoil her with hugs and kisses, not material things. I want to read stories to her at night and teach her how to swim, like my mom taught me. Take her out and show her the stars at night and have my Dad tell her all the old legends of the tribe . . ." He stopped talking to look at me shyly then ask, "Sorry, I sound like a real sap, don't I?"

New tears formed as I shook my head. "No, you don't. You sound like a daddy." I reached out to wind my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest. His arms closed around me as I whispered, "Ours is a lucky, lucky baby."

"Thanks, Bells."

I selfishly allowed myself just a moment to relax in his arms and enjoy the feeling of being loved and cared for before finally forcing myself to step back. Jacob smiled at me took my hand again and led me the rest of the way down the hall toward the parking lot.

Only Carlisle was waiting just outside the door, and I asked him, "Where's Edward?"

"He told me that he would see you back at the house. He, uh, needed some time alone," Carlisle explained then added sympathetically, "I'm sorry, Bella. I can drive you home."

So, Edward needs time alone . . . again. I found myself wondering how much time it would take for Edward to face the fact that this baby was real and it would be here very soon. With a sigh, I asked Carlisle, "Um, is it alright if I have Jacob take me to see my dad? I haven't seen him in a couple of days.

Pausing for a moment to consider my request, Carlisle finally relented by saying, "Yes, but please don't stay too long, and keep your movement to a minimum."

"I promise I'll be good. Thanks."

Carlisle nodded and then smiled as he held out a small piece of paper to me. "I thought you might want this."

"What is it?" I asked as I held out my hand.

"A picture of your babies," Carlisle answered softly.

I couldn't help but smile as I held the picture in my hands. "Wow, thank you. This is . . . this is really cool." I knew I could never show it to anyone else . . . they wouldn't understand the difference in the sizes of the babies, but it was still very precious to me.

"You're welcome," Carlisle returned with a smile, then he walked to his car, leaving me standing there alone with Jacob.

I sighed and hung my head until I felt Jacob's hand on my back. "You alright?"

"Yeah, just peachy," I sighed as Jacob opened the car door for me. I used to think I knew Edward so well, but lately he confused the hell out of me. One minute he's bringing in my breakfast tray and asking me with what I thought was genuine concern how I felt, and the next he finds out we're having a girl and he pulls his disappearing act.

"You don't mind taking me to see Dad, do you? I guess I should have asked you first," I asked Jacob sheepishly as he slid behind the wheel.

"Nope. I don't mind at all," he answered with a grin as he started the engine and took off toward Dad's house. _Yeah, I knew he wouldn't._

I let my head fall back against the headrest and sighed, "I just couldn't go back there, not yet. It's so . . . suffocating." _Had I just admitted that? To Jake? Oh well, I don't care it's the truth._

It was a short ride to Dad's house, but when Jake pulled into the drive, I noticed the cruiser wasn't there. "Hmm, I wonder where he is?" I took out my cell phone and dialed Dad's. He carried one for work, so I knew he would have it on.

He answered with his official greeting, "Sheriff Swan."

"Dad? I'm at your house. Where are you?"

"Bella? Billy called and told me to get my ass out here for some fishing. Why are you at my house?"

"Carlisle did an ultrasound and I didn't feel like going home yet, so I had Jake drive me to your house to visit. But that's OK. I can see you later."

"I'm sorry, Bells. I wish I would have known."

"No, no, don't worry about it. It was a last minute decision. Have fun."

"OK. Is there any news yet . . . on the babies? What did Carlisle find today?"

_Oh God. How can I explain this to my dad? _"Well, the one twin is developing more rapidly than the other, and he still might have to . . . take it. We still don't know."

"Oh honey, I'm sorry. Are you alright? Did you say that Jake is with you?"

_Yeah, I heard that hopefulness in his voice_. "Yes, Dad, Jake is with me," I stated as I looked over at Jacob and rolled my eyes. "And I'm fine. I'll call you tomorrow, OK?"

"Alright. Take care, honey."

"I will. Bye." I hung up and looked at Jake. "He's fishing with your dad."

"Oh, huh," Jacob said. "Dad didn't say anything when I left the house this morning. Although it was pretty early . . . I ran a patrol before I came here. Did you want me to take you to La Push . . . to see Charlie?"

"I don't know if I should go that far from Carlisle . . . you know, in case something happens. I'm surprised he let me come here."

"Yeah, me, too." Then a smile spread across his face as he asked, "Don't you feel like you're playing hooky or something?"

I had to laugh at that. "Yes, I do. Come on, let's go inside for awhile. I kind of miss this old place."

As I opened the car door, Jake jogged around to pick me up into his arms as he told me with a grin, "Carlisle said to keep the movement to a minimum."

"How convenient for you," I teased. I knew he would take any chance he could get to touch me. I felt guilty when I realized I didn't mind as much as I should.

Jacob carried me to the front door, where he waited for me to unlock it with my key then he walked inside and deposited me gently on the couch. "Do you think your dad has any food in the house? I haven't had much to eat today and I'm starving."

"I don't know. You can check out the kitchen, but good luck in finding anything edible." While Jacob was rummaging in the kitchen, I made myself comfortable on the couch.

It wasn't long before Jake walked back into the living room to plop down on the couch beside me with a carton of chocolate ice cream and two spoons. "Here you go," he said as he handed me a spoon.

I smiled at him as I took the spoon and dipped into the ice cream. I wasn't sure if my stomach could handle it, but it was just way too tempting to resist. Jake ate a huge spoonful and smiled. "Oh, yeah. It's been way too long since we've done this."

"Yeah, it has." Back when we were working in the garage on the motorcycles, we used to take breaks to do homework. Once it was done, one of us would break out the ice cream with two spoons, and we would settle in front of the TV to watch some stupid movie or the Food Channel.

I handed Jake the remote and he smiled at me. "I miss this, Bells. A lot."

"Me, too," I admitted. It was true. Jake and I could always just hang out and be comfortable with each other. We were friends first, and I could see that was one huge thing missing with Edward and me. We fell into this sweeping romance, and never took times to become friends.

Jacob and I finished off the carton in record time, and as always, I was now freezing. Jake set the carton with the spoons in it on the coffee table then sat back to hold his arm out. I smiled and slid over to lay against him as he put his arm down over me. "Mmm, warmth," I mumbled. He always warmed me up with his extremely high body heat after ice cream.

Only this time, guilt washed over me as I realized I was enjoying this way too much, while my husband was off somewhere all alone, dealing with his pain. _But he didn't have to be. He could be with me, looking at the picture of our daughter. Why couldn't he be excited about her? Why did he hate this baby so much?_

I snuggled closer to Jake as I remembered how he talked about wanting a little girl. All those things he wanted to show her and teach her . . . that's the way a father should talk about his coming child. _This isn't a competition, Bella,_ I scolded myself. I shouldn't be pitting them against each other, but I couldn't help it. I was feeling closer to Jacob as Edward pushed himself farther away from me.

Jake was mindlessly running his fingers lightly up and down my arm while he flicked channels, and it was creating a slow burn deep inside me. It had been too long since I had any close, physical contact with Edward, not since the island, really. Suddenly, I craved being held and touched and kissed and loved . . . I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation Jacob was creating, and before long, visions of the night we spent together came to mind: _His lips on mine, roughly taking what he needed, the feel of his hands as they gripped my hips . . . his naked body in all it's beautiful glory . . . how it felt when he pushed inside . . . _I opened my eyes with a start.

"Bells? You OK?" He must have felt me jump.

"Yes," I said quickly as I pushed myself into a sitting position then brushed my hair from my face.

"You sure? You look a little flushed."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." _Get a grip, Bella. You're married, remember? Act like it._

I excused myself to use the bathroom and when I returned, I made sure to settle on the couch with some space between us.

Jacob noticed and asked quietly, "You're upset about him leaving today, aren't you?"

I looked at him blankly for a moment and then realized he was talking about Edward leaving the hospital without a word to me. _Oh yeah, I was pissed about that. Yeah, that's good . . . talk about that. Anything but what's really going on inside._

So, getting in touch with that anger, I said, "I couldn't believe it when he left today. What kind of an asshole leaves his wife at an ultrasound of their baby? We found out it's a girl and he had nothing, to say. Nothing. Damnit, Jake, I honestly don't know what to say to him. He mopes around like he's such a victim in all this. Well, he is, I guess . . . I mean, I cheated on him, and I've apologized over and over! But, his daughter is hanging onto life by a thread . . . she is going to be born soon and I am wondering if he'll even show up for it."

"Of course he will. This is the only child he'll ever have . . . he wouldn't be stupid enough to miss that, even if he isn't happy about it. He'll be there, Bells," he assured me.

I looked over at Jacob and gave him a small smile with a shake of my head. "You always listen to me rant and whine and bitch, but you never tell me what's going on with you. You've been very quiet lately and you look worried a lot. Are you alright?"

He glanced at me then said, "Yeah, I'm fine." His tone didn't quite convince me.

"You sure?"

"I got a lot on my mind, that's all. No big deal," he shrugged.

"You keep telling me that, but I feel like you're holding something back from me. What's going on? Talk to me, Jake."

He let his head fall back against the couch cushions then he looked at me and said, "Something happened with the pack, but I didn't want to bother you with my troubles, so I didn't tell you."

Reaching out to touch his arm, I reminded him, "Jake, we're still best friends. You're always listening to me whine . . . I think I owe you. Come on, BFF, talk to me." That made him smile.

"Do you remember me telling you that I am the one that's supposed to be the Alpha?"

"Yes, I do. Why?"

"Well, Sam fucking quit and now . . . I'm it."

I looked at him curiously and asked, "Sam quit? He can just quit?"

"Apparently," he snorted.

"Why would he just quit? What happened?"

I could see he was hesitant to tell me . . . he hung his head for a moment then finally he looked at me and explained, "Well, we kind of had a fight over . . . how your baby might have been a breech of our treaty with the Cullens. He considered it making a new vampire, and we went to the elders to ask their opinion."

_My baby . . ._ _and Edward's. _"Oh my God, Jake, I had no idea . . . I never thought about the treaty."

"Neither did I. Anyway, the elders decided that maybe we should consult Carlisle, so my dad invited him over and he explained everything. The elders were satisfied that Carlisle was monitoring the situation and they trusted that he would keep us updated. Sam was pissed because no one took his side, so . . . he fucking quit. And that left it all on me."

My gaze shifted downward as my hands had instinctively closed over my fast-growing baby bump. "You are trying to tell me that Sam wanted . . . he wanted my baby killed, didn't he?"

I heard him sigh deeply before he answered, "He didn't want to hurt you or my baby, but yes, he felt that your baby may be a threat to us, and he thought we should take some action if Carlisle didn't. And, he was afraid that with Rosalie feeling like she did about the baby, that she might try and get some woman to have a baby for her or something. I don't know, the whole argument was pretty stupid. But, Bells, you have to know that I would never have let him or anyone else hurt you or that baby. If Sam wouldn't have quit, I would have fought him for it."

I reached over to take his large hand in mine as I said softly, "I'm so sorry, Jacob. I know you didn't want to be Alpha. Now, because of me . . . "

Jacob turned his body toward me as he barked, "Stop it, Bella! This is not your fault. This is all Sam just being a dick." Then in a calmer tone he added, "Look, I had to take it sooner or later, so, here I am. I guess it's sooner," he finished with a small, crooked smile.

I squeezed his hand and smiled back. "Life is grand, ain't it?"

That made him laugh, which made me very happy to see. "It sure is, and it just keeps getting better and better. Kind makes you afraid to wake up in the morning to see what's waiting for you, doesn't it?"

I had to agree with him there. "Yeah, sometimes it does." We were both quiet for a moment then I said, "Jake? Thanks for telling me. I don't want you to ever hold anything back from me, OK? I really hate that."

"I know you do. I would have told you right away, but you had a lot on your own plate. I guess I didn't want to burden you any more."

"It's OK. You can burden me anytime," I assured him with a smile and a small punch on the arm. Then I scooted closer to put my arms around his neck and hug him. "You're my best friend, Jacob," I said softly into his neck. "I want to be here for you like you are for me."

We sat there wrapped around each other for quite awhile, just leaning on each other for strength. It was a very powerful moment for me, to know that I could give him comfort. I was always taking from Jacob . . . it was about time I gave back.

Finally I pulled back just enough to see his face, but made the mistake of looking into his eyes. They were like a mirror to his soul . . . always showing exactly what he was feeling. Now they were shining with love for me, with such an intensity it took my breath away. I had known for a long time now that he loved me, but this . . . this was different. There was a longing there . . . one that matched the one I was trying to hide so deep inside myself.

Our eyes locked and I felt this warmth seep into the lower region of my body . . . that need, that passion that always had to be denied was trying it's best to convince me to give in and feed it. His hand cupped my face and I licked my lips in anticipation as Jacob leaned closer to me. I knew if I didn't get away from him right now, I would fall into that trap of temptation and beg him to kiss me . . . to touch me like he had that night in my room . . .

My brain screamed, _Stop, Bella! Stop it now!_ With all the strength I could muster, I shoved myself away from him and mumbled, "I have to get back."

"Bella . . . " he started softly.

"No, Jacob," I said as firmly as I could. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mislead you, but I can't do this . . . not now. Please take me home."

"Shit." His eyes shut for a moment then I saw him quickly adjust himself before I could turn away. _Yeah, I'm right there with you, babe. _

"Yeah, OK," he answered roughly. "Let's go."

I was off the couch and out the door as fast I dared go. My heart was beating way too fast right now . . . I had been so close to doing something so wrong yet again. _Why did I want Jacob so badly? Would I always feel this way about him? _

As Jacob started the car and threw it into gear, I turned my head to look out the open window. I had to be more careful_. _My feelings for Jacob were getting harder to control. I had made my choice . . . I was married to Edward and I would have to work harder at making our marriage work. And I knew spending time with Jacob was not helping . . . it was pushing Edward and I farther apart. But I couldn't help it. I _wanted_ to be with Jacob, to feel his arms around me, see him smile at me . . . he made me feel so good . . . _Stop it, Bella! You are not being fair to either one of them. Why was I such a selfish bitch?_

I squeezed my eyes shut and begged my brain to shut up and leave me alone. I was so sick and tired of thinking about the both of them. No matter how much I thought about it all, it never made sense. I was never going to find a livable solution to this mess. I would always be pulled back and forth between them, now even more because of these babies. And yet . . . I loved these babies and felt such a protectiveness for both of them. I pulled the ultrasound picture from my purse to look at it again. No matter what happened with their fathers, I knew I would always love both of these babies with all my heart.

We stayed quiet on the drive back until right before we got to the Cullen drive. Then Jacob broke the silence by saying, "Bells, I'm sorry I upset you, but I won't apologize for how I feel about you. Whatever you saw on my face that scared you so badly . . . well, you should know by now that I can't hide how I feel."

I finally turned to look at him again. "I know that, Jacob, but you have to remember that I am married to Edward, and no matter how I feel about you, I have to be true to him and to our vows."

That pissed him off. "Are you fucking serious? It's just become very clear to me what's going on here." He jerked the car to the side of the road and slammed it into park. "I knew, that night we spent together before the wedding . . . I _knew _how you felt about me. I could feel it in how you responded to me. It was like we were made to fit together that way. And the next night when we said good-bye, how you clung to me, begging me to kiss you once more, hating to let go . . . Bella, you knew then it was a mistake to go ahead and marry him, but you felt you had to because that was what was expected. I suppose you thought you could forget me and everything would be perfect with Edward just like you planned. But it's not, is it? And now, you don't know how to get out of it."

_God, is that true? Did I really do that? Do I feel that way now? _I hung my head and muttered, "Look, Jake, now is not the time for this conversation. I've been gone way too long as it is . . . "

Grabbing my arm, Jacob demanded, "Bella, look at me." I forced my head up and turned to face him. "You don't have to stay in this marriage out of principle. You need to be with the one you love . . . the one you need, and I think we both know, that's me."

I pulled my arm from his grasp and spit back at him, "Stop being so full of yourself, Jacob! Yes, I have feelings for you, but I love Edward and I need him." _Oh God, that sounded kind of weak. He'll never buy that._

"Sounds kind of weak to me." _I knew it._

I took in a deep breath as I commanded him, "Drive me home . . . now! If you don't, I'll get out and walk, but I am NOT having this conversation with you."

"Damnit, Bella!" Jake's fist hit the steering wheel so hard it made me jump. "Why do you always have to be so fucking stubborn with me, and yet you do EVERYTHING _he_ tells you to?" He took a minute to calm himself then he shoved the car into gear and took off with so much force, the tires squealed. "Just because we don't talk about it now, doesn't mean we won't sometime in the future."

Jacob was quiet for a moment, and I could see he was trying his hardest to calm down. Finally he glanced at me to say, "Look, I'll back off. . . for now. I know that you aren't supposed to be under any stress right now, and I don't want to be the cause of any for you. I'm here to support you, Bells, and I'll _try_ to just be your friend. Even though I know it won't be easy, I promise I'll try harder to be good."

That brought a small smile to my lips. Jacob was always promising to be good, but it usually didn't last very long. He just wasn't any good at trying to hide his feelings. He stopped the car at the Cullen house and I quickly opened the door and got out. Before I closed the door, I stuck my head back in to say, "Thanks, Jake."

"Sure, sure."

I shut the door and made my way to the house as Jacob left, throwing gravel as he sped down the driveway. I knew I hurt him yet again, but I didn't want to hear what he was saying. I needed time to figure out how I really felt about the both of them, not how he thought I felt. Although, if I was going to be honest with myself, he was pretty close.

I was surprised to find Edward waiting for me in my room, quietly sitting in the chair beside the bed reading a book. He looked up at me as I walked in and asked calmly, "Are you alright? You've been gone quite awhile."

"I'm fine," I answered. "We went to my Dad's and then Jake brought me home. You were certainly in a hurry to leave the hospital today," I added curtly, letting him know I wasn't happy about his leaving me like that.

He said nothing as he laid his book down on the table. _What, no excuse?_

I pulled the ultrasound picture from my purse and dropped it into his lap. "Carlisle gave me a picture of our daughter. I thought you might like to see it."

Edward let is sit there for a moment then he finally picked it up and looked at it briefly before setting it on top of his book. "I saw the ultrasound, Bella. I know what it looks like."

"SHE, Edward. What SHE looks like. We're having a girl. This baby is real, and she is going to be born soon. I wish you could be happier about it."

"You mean like _him_? I'm not Jacob, Bella, no matter how much you wish I were."

_And there it is._ I finally walked over to sink down onto the edge of the bed and sigh, "I'm sorry, Edward, if my being with Jacob makes you uncomfortable. I realized today that given what happened between Jake and I in the past, you have every right to tell me not to see him. But he is the father of one of these babies, so we are all going to have to find a way to live with this. I just haven't come up with the perfect solution yet."

"Bella, I won't lie to you. I hate Jacob now more than I ever have and it causes me great pain to see you with him. I don't like you being alone with him, and I don't want you to lie to me."

"Do you think I'm lying to you now?"

His gaze shifted away from me for a second before he answered. "Are you?"

I closed my eyes and felt the knife of guilt twist in my gut. Even though Jacob and I didn't technically do anything wrong, I came close to kissing him yet again, and I knew that for my marriage to work, I had to find a way to stop those feelings. I knew that Edward was right to feel jealous and it made me feel horrible to see what I was doing to him.

I took a deep breath and told him, "Jacob drove me to my dad's house, only to find he wasn't home. I called him and he told me he was fishing with Billy. So, Jacob and I sat on the couch, ate some ice cream, talked for a bit, then he drove me home. We even argued in the car on the way home, if you must know, and _that _is the truth."

Edward stood up and moved to the window to stare out into the woods. I pushed myself off of the bed to walk over and stand beside him. "Edward, I need you to talk to me. We haven't really talked since you found out I was pregnant. Please, sit down with me now and tell me how you really feel."

He gazed down at me as he shook his head and gave me a sardonic smile. "You want me to tell you how I feel? Do you really want to know?"

"Yes! I hate that you feel so distant to me . . . I want to know what's going on inside that head of yours. Just talk to me!"

"I hate what you did to me!" he exploded. "You _had sex_ with that _dog_ . . . do you have any idea how that makes me feel?" I shook my head and he went on, "I feel betrayed . . . like I mean nothing to you. All those months of you telling me how much you _love_ me, how much you _need_ me . . . begging me to change you . . . was that all a lie?" he bellowed.

"NO! They weren't lies, Edward. You know me better than that."

"Do I? Because the Bella I knew would NEVER have betrayed me the way you have. It's like you're a completely different person to me now." Grabbing my arm, he turned me to face him as he stared into my eyes. "I don't have to read your mind to know how you feel about him. All I have to do is watch you when he's around. You're like a dog in heat. It's disgusting," he growled as he let me go. "Now you tell me you were ALONE in that house and all you did was eat ice cream and talk? Please, Bella. Give me a little more credit than that."

I closed my eyes and willed myself not to cry. I deserved this . . . all of it. I needed to be strong now and just take it. "I told you the truth, Edward. But, I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry for the way I hurt you."

"You were never going to tell me that it happened, were you?"

I stepped over to the bed to sink down on it again as I sighed, "No, I never wanted you to know. I knew how it would hurt you, and I didn't want that. I never intended to have sex with him in the first place. I know you don't believe that no matter how many times I tell you, and I guess it doesn't really matter anyway. I did it, it was wrong, and I am so sorry. But, now I am pregnant, with a baby from BOTH of you and this is . . . such a fucking mess and I am so sick and tired of trying to find a way to make both of you happy. It's impossible and I guess we'll all just be unhappy, miserable people for the rest of our lives."

"Some of us longer than others," I heard him mutter. _Great . . . I would be the cause of his pain for all eternity. _

An awkward silence settled over the room. I was frustrated, nauseous and just plain exhausted. I wanted to just curl up in this bed and close out the world for like a week, but there was one more thing I had to know from Edward while he was still here and willing to talk to me. "Edward? Do you really hate our baby as much as I feel you do?"

His eyes closed as his head dropped for a moment, thinking how to answer my question. Finally he looked at me to say softly, "I don't hate this baby, Bella, but I don't believe, as you do, that it will survive. I've read all the research, and . . . maybe I don't want to attach myself to something that will never be."

"It's not just that. I know it's not."

"No, it's not," he admitted. "I hate how this baby was conceived. I couldn't make love to my wife like I should have. Jasper tried to warn me . . . I couldn't control myself . . . the raw lust that took over . . . was more than I expected. Then, right as I . . . released . . . the bloodlust took over and I wanted to drain you dry. I wanted that more than I have ever wanted anything in my life and it terrified me! You think I want a reminder of that staring me in the face everyday? I know how wrong that sounds, but . . . "

"I understand. I get it," I interjected softly. I did because, in a way, I felt that way about Jacob's baby. It would always be a reminder of my betrayal to Edward. But my love for this baby far outweighed any guilt I felt at conceiving it. I would always want it and love it. I just wished that Edward felt the same about our baby.

I stood up and faced him to say, "Thank you for being honest with me. As hard it was, I needed to hear it. I don't know where we go from here, but we have to figure out a way because I believe that all three of us are going to become parents to _two_ very special babies. They are going to need us to get along somehow."

"I understand . . . but I'm not sure right now I can do that." And with that, he turned and left the room.


	18. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 17**

**Jacob POV:**

As I drove away from Bella, the anger just bubbled up inside me until I felt like puking. _That woman makes me so fucking crazy! Why can't she just give in to how she's feeling? Why is that bond with Edward still so strong? It has to be the baby . . . his baby. Why am I always second with her? Even our baby comes in second to his. God, I hate this guy!_

I pulled into my driveway, jammed the car into park then made my way into the house. For once, no one was home and I was glad as I stalked to my room and slammed the door. I flopped down onto the bed and willed my body to calm the hell down. I was so fucking mad and confused and downright frustrated! Leah kept assuring me this was a waiting game and I had to be patient, but I was sick of taking the high road . . . always being the one to give in and get along. I didn't want to play second fiddle any longer. Bella should have been mine all along . . .

I lay there amusing myself with ways I would love to kill Edward, all of them ending by piling all of his body parts into a heap, his dick on top, and lighting it ablaze. We would all be better off without him, although I was sure Bella wouldn't see it that way. Bella couldn't even see how miserable he had made her since day one! First she gets chased all the way to Phoenix and almost dies at the hands of some bloodsucker because of him. Then, he leaves her for months, she becomes a zombie and throws herself off a cliff! Thank God I saw her and was there in time to save her. Then he just waltzes back into her life like nothing ever happened and she becomes a target for God knows how many fucking vampires, all again because of him. He practically keeps her a prisoner, never letting her go where she wants or drive the car she wants or be with who she wants . . . why couldn't she see all that? Why could she not let go of this prick?

"Jake! Are you here?" I heard Leah call out.

"Yeah. In my room," I called back.

She opened the door and peeked inside. "What's up? Why are you laying here in the middle of the afternoon?"

"Trying to keep myself from going on a killing spree," I practically growled.

"Ooh, sounds good," she said as she bounced onto the end of the bed to settle back against the wall. "Do tell."

I scooted up to sit against the headboard and sighed, "Just frustrated. But what else is new?"

"Come on, Jakey, what happened?" she insisted.

So, I spilled my guts to Leah. I started by telling her all about seeing my baby for the first time, and the rush of excitement I felt when that image popped up on the screen. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen . . . something I will always remember.

I went on to tell her about being alone with Bella at Charlie's, and again _almost_ kissing her, then telling her about me becoming Alpha and why. And finally, about the fight we had before I dropped her off.

"She is so damned stubborn, Leah, and it is killing me! I don't understand if she loves me as much as I think she does, why she insists on staying in a marriage that makes her so unhappy!"

"Oh Jake. You have a lot to learn about women. Well, woman like Bella," Leah returned.

"Alright, oh Great Woman . . . enlighten me."

She grinned at that one then explained, "Wedding vows are sacred, Jake, especially to most women. It's something little girls dream about . . . meeting a handsome man, falling in love, getting married, having babies . . . I guess it's built into the DNA or something, I don't know. Anyway, Bella married Edward and those vows are something she can't just overlook or throw away. Wouldn't you want that if she were married to you?"

"Yes, but she never should have married _him_ in the first place," I grumbled.

"You're right, she shouldn't have. Especially after you banged her. But she did, and you can't go back and change it now. So, either you suck it up and quit whining like a two-year-old and be the man she needs, or give up. I know you don't want to hear it, but patience is the key here. I really think if you just wait it out, you'll win in the end."

"I just hate always being the second prize in this contest between us," I muttered as I hung my head.

I heard Leah huff and the next thing I know, she's straddling my lap, her knees on either side of me, and she's forcing my chin up to look at her. "Alright, Jacob Ephraim Black, you listen to me, and listen good. You are _not_ second prize here. You are so much better than that mopey bloodsucker, and Bella knows it. She knows she fucked up and sooner or later she'll kick his ass to the curb and come running. I will _not _tolerate you feeling so down about yourself, you hear me? You are the heir of Ephraim Black . . . the Almighty Alpha of our wolf pack . . . you're tribe royalty for God's sake! I know that you have a great power inside you that you haven't even tapped yet and I can't wait for the day when I see that shine through. I _know _who you are, Jacob, and I have a feeling that she does, too, but she's just a wimpy mortal. You have to give her a little more time to figure things out."

A smile crept over my face as she lectured me and I found myself very grateful that I was fortunate enough to know the real Leah . . . she was really something. When she finished talking she leaned down and kissed me hard on the mouth then sat back and said seriously, "I'm going to tell you something right now that I've only told to a very few select people in my life, so listen up." She paused for a moment then looked me in the eye and said, "I love you, Jacob. You are a great guy, and I couldn't ask for a better friend or leader."

I was completely blown away! This was so not Leah. I had no idea what to say or how to respond. That's when she laughed at me. "What's so fucking funny?" I managed to growl.

"Your face! I didn't mean to shock the hell out of you. I know I'm not a serious person most of the time, and I hate touchy-feely shit, but . . . " she paused as she sobered to say, "I want you to know that you're really important to me. You're pretty much the best friend I ever had. I mean that."

"Thanks, Leah. I think the same way about you. I, uh, . . . I love you, too."

Her beautiful smile lit up her face and made me feel really happy for a change. Then the Leah I was used to appeared to huff, "Ugh, Jake! This is not a lap dance, you know!" as she slid off of my lap onto the bed.

"What? I'm a 17 year-old hormonal werewolf. I can't help getting a boner when a hot girl plants herself on my crotch," I returned with a grin.

"Yeah, like that's ever happened before," Leah muttered as she tried to look disgusted, but there was too much laughter in her eyes for her to pull it off. Dropping her head for a moment, she cleared her throat then looked up at me to say, "Well, I hate to spoil this lovefest, but I really came here to talk pack business. There's some serious shit happening that you need to know about."

A stab of guilt hit me as I realized how much of my duties I was shoving off onto Leah's shoulders. I should be paying more attention to the pack instead of moping around about Bella. I sat up a little straighter and said, "What's going on?"

"It's Sam. He is causing some dissention in the pack. He is just sure that somehow this baby is going to turn into some super vampire that will kill us all if we don't do something now. I have tried to talk to him, but I hear through the wolf network that he's thinking of starting his own pack. So far, Paul is with him, and I hear from Seth that Brady and Collin are thinking of going with him just because they want to fight a vampire so bad it's killing them. Jared is on the fence . . . I think we may be able to sway him to our side, but you'll have to talk to him. He doesn't trust you because you're with Bella more than you are here. Of course you know you have me, Seth, Embry and Quil."

"I know," I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair. "Damnit, Sam! Why is he such an ass? Why can't he let this go?"

"I know why. He liked the power he had as Alpha. I'm pretty sure when he quit, he just assumed he would be your Beta then he would still have some power without the headache. But when you picked me, it pissed him off, Jake."

I shook my head as I tried hard to think where to start. I really didn't need this shit right now. Finally I looked up at Leah and stated in what I hoped was my best Alpha voice, "OK, here's what we're going to do."

First thing, both of us went together to hunt down Jared. I knew he would know what was really going through Sam's mind, and I was hoping I could persuade him to tell me. Too, I had always really liked Jared. He was pretty easy-going and usually good for a laugh, yet all business when he needed to be. I would really hate to lose him.

We found him at Kim's, which was no surprise, and he was not happy to be interrupted. I couldn't blame him there. If I ever had the chance to be alone with Bella again, I'd kick anyone's ass for knocking on my door. "Sorry, dude, I hate this, I do, but this is really important. I promise we won't take too long, and you can get back to whatever it was you were doing."

His scowl relaxed a little as he threw over his shoulder to Kim, "I'm going to step outside and talk to Jake and Leah. I'll be back in a few." We heard Kim's acknowledgement then he closed the door, crossed his arms over his chest and said, "So, talk."

With a quick glance at Leah, I took a deep breath and started by apologizing for not being around more like I should be. "This shit with Bella and the baby has been first on my mind, and I've been putting too much on Leah's shoulders. I talked to her about it and promised that I would be around more to do my job. Now, tell me what the hell is going on with Sam. And don't tell me you don't know, because I know you and Sam are tight." He looked away from me and I could see he was contemplating what to do. "Look, Jared. I really need to know here," I added, trying not to sound like I was begging, but I really needed him to know how badly I needed his help.

"OK," he sighed. "I talked to Sam and Paul yesterday and they're both pissed at you and the elders. Sam really believes you aren't taking this as a serious threat. He wants to be ready when the time comes that something needs to be done. He's been talking to me and Paul, and Collin and Brady and trying to convince us that you have no fucking idea what you're doing as Alpha, and that you are too emotionally attached to see what's really going on."

"Well, I don't have any fucking idea what I'm doing as Alpha, but I don't think that ripping this baby out of Bella and killing it is the answer, do you?"

Jared again looked away then Leah piped up. "Look, Jared, you know I'm not Bella's biggest fan, but even I know that's wrong. She is carrying Jake's baby, too, and that baby is the Black heir. Think, dude. You know Sam is fucking crazy, here."

"I don't think he's completely crazy, Leah," Jared shot back. "I mean, no, I don't think we should rip the thing out of Bella and kill it, but I do think this is serious. If they have the means of procreating, who's to say they won't use it? Even if the Cullens don't, word may get out and some wacko leech like the redhead that gave us all that trouble a while back may get it in their head to try it."

I ran my hand through my hair before saying, "I am taking this seriously, Jared, I promise you. I have talked to Carlisle and all the research proves that this is not a viable way to make vampires. Most don't survive infancy, and if they do, they don't live long. Like I said, we will make an amendment to the treaty, but other than that, I think we just need to take a wait and see attitude. If this baby dies, then our problem is taken care of. If it lives, then we decide where to go from there."

"But with Bella involved, Jake . . . how far are you willing to go if it lives?" he asked me seriously.

My hand rubbed the back of my neck as I allowed my eyes to close while I thought about that. _How far was I willing to go? Banishment was not an answer, not with Bella being it's mother AND the mother of my child. It wasn't fair for one of the babies to go motherless. And I couldn't kill it . . . I could never do that to Bella. _I opened my eyes to look at Jared and say, "Look, I'm going to be honest with you, I'm not sure right now. But I trust Carlisle. Maybe I shouldn't, but he has never been anything but fair to me . . . to all of us. And he believes that there is only a very slim chance that this baby will survive. So, I'm going with that for now, and I guess I should sit down with Carlisle and have him show me the all the research on these children. I don't believe we can make a good decision now not knowing all the facts."

Jared was quiet for a moment as he looked at Leah, then me, and then he said slowly, "OK. I'll stay with you for now because I really don't like the idea of two packs. I know this isn't easy for you, Jake. Taking Alpha now with all this shit going on, but man, keep your head in the game. You can't let your emotions interfere with the decisions that have to be made."

"You think I don't know that? This is the woman I love more than anything in the world, and my baby that are involved. Put Kim in this situation and what do you do?" I put to him.

"Hey, that's why I'm not the Alpha," he shot back with a smile and a punch on the arm.

"Lucky you," I muttered. Then I added, "Hey, thanks for the talk. I really appreciate it. And I'll keep everyone informed on what's going on. I promise I'll keep my head in the game."

Jared stuck his hand out to me with, "That's all I ask, bro." I shook his hand then nodded to Leah. "Let's go."

We left Kim's house and as we got into my car I asked, "So, how do you think that went?"

As Leah shut the door, she turned to me to say, "I think Jared is loyal to us for now, but Jake, you have got to learn to use your Alpha authority. I gotta tell you, I thought you sounded a little weak. You're the boss here, pal. Start acting like it!"

I stared at her for a moment in disbelief. "You really want me to boss everyone around and piss the pack off like Sam did? You hated that!"

"No, that's not what I meant, you moron," she said with an eye roll. "There is a difference between getting the pack to respect your authority and just being a dick. When you speak, you need to speak with confidence. If the pack knows your scared shitless, they're not going to trust your decisions. You showed Jared too much vulnerability back there, and I thought we almost lost him. But you're lucky he likes you, and he's giving you a chance to show him you can lead. The thing is, you shouldn't have to prove anything to him or me or any of us. You ARE the Alpha . . . we HAVE to follow you. You shouldn't give us a choice. Do you get anything I'm saying?"

"Yeah, I get it. But I hate having all my choices taken away, and so do you. Don't you think there is some way for me to lead, but still give you all some choices?"

Leah shrugged. "Maybe, but not in this situation. This is serious, Jake. Unless you think that having two packs is a good idea."

I shook my head and answered, "No, I don't. There should be one pack and one Alpha, as our ancestors intended. I have to take care of this. I have to talk to Sam."

Leah's head tilted to the side as she gave me a sly smile. "You know, you could Alpha order Sam to stop this shit and be loyal only to you."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Maybe you'd like to take a shot at it?" I asked with a similar smile.

"I would love to," she said wickedly.

I chuckled at her then said seriously, "Look, as tempting as that is, I won't use an Alpha order unless it's absolutely necessary. Sam deserves the right to choose . . . I just hope for the sake of the pack, I can make him understand and he'll make the right choice to stay with one pack."

"Good luck with that one," Leah muttered. "And what if you have to fight him for it?"

I took a deep breath before answering then I turned to her to say, "Then I kick his ass."

A big grin took over her face. "Damn straight. Let's go!"

I started the car and headed toward Sam's. "Maybe I should do this one alone, Leah."

"Oh no, Jake, you are not making me sit out on this one! Besides, I think we should go together as a united front . . . show him that you are solid with your choice of Beta."

She did have a point. If Sam was still harboring any idea that he could come back as my Beta, he needed to know that was not an option. I was very happy with my decision to have Leah as my Beta. It was the best decision I ever made. "Alright, good point."

Leah gave me one of her famous smirks then turned her head to look out the window. I smiled at her then tried to focus on the task ahead of me. I was not looking forward to facing Sam, but I had to, and I would have to take Leah's advice on showing more confidence, even if I didn't feel it. I couldn't show Sam the same vulnerability I had just shown with Jared. I needed to be tough on Sam and let him know who was boss . . . even if it meant kicking his ass.

"Hey, Em, is Sam here?" I asked as I walked into Sam's house. Emily was in the kitchen, as usual, wiping down the counters. She gave Leah and me a pensive look as we stood there waiting for an answer, so I added, "I just want to talk, OK? I know what's going on with him, and it's wrong. There should never be two packs. I need to talk to him, Em."

Finally she nodded toward the back door. "He and Paul are out back."

"Thanks," I returned with a smile. Leah followed me down the hall and out the door onto the back porch where we were shocked to find Sam and Paul beating the shit out of each other!

I leapt off of the porch and ran to them, jerking Paul off of Sam as I yelled, "ENOUGH! STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!" Instantly, the two of them stopped to look at me. _Whoa, this Alpha shit really works! _Leah saw my expression and shot me a quick grin then turned back to Sam and Paul.

I stood up a little straighter as I said, "You two want to tell me what the hell is going on here?"

They looked at each other then Paul grunted, "Just a disagreement between friends. It's not really any of your business." Then he swiped a hand over his mouth to get rid of the blood there and stood up with a challenge in his eyes.

Sam stood where he was, avoiding eye contact, and staying completely silent. I glanced over to Leah to see if she saw the same thing going on that I did and she nodded her silent agreement. _So, Paul was the instigator . . . big surprise. _

I looked at Paul and said with authority, "Fine. You two want to keep this little fight to yourselves, I got no problem with that. I came here to talk to Sam." I turned to him so I could look him in the eye and said, "I've heard some talk that you may want to start your own pack. Is that true?"

Sam glanced quickly at Paul then shrugged. "Maybe. Some of us don't like the way you're doing things . . . or should I say, NOT doing things."

"Come on, Sam," Leah interjected. "We all know this is just your way of throwing a fit because Jake made me Beta. Maybe it's time for you to grow-up and get over it!"

I put my hand out in front of Leah and gave her a look of warning. "I will handle this, Leah." She got my meaning and backed off. "Look, I know I didn't handle things very well, but I'm trying here, and this isn't helping," I started. That's when Paul went ballistic.

"Handle things?" Paul shouted. "When have you handled anything, Jake? All you've done for the last two years is run around after that leech lover like some damned lovesick pup. You don't give a damn about this pack unless we're putting our asses on the line to protect your precious little Bella and I'm fucking sick of it!" He stopped long enough to step closer to me as he said evenly, "And I'm pretty sure you made up that shit about her being pregnant with your kid just to protect her, but you don't have the balls to admit it."

"Are you fucking serious, Paul? You think I would make something like that up?" I asked in disbelief. _Man, this guy was messed up. _

"Yeah, I do." He stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Why don't you believe that I could get Bella pregnant? We can phase right now and I can show you the night we had sex . . . "

"Oh please, Jake," Paul sneered. "I've seen that fantasy shit in your head for so long, now you're even believing it!"

My blood was starting to boil . . . "Fuck you, Paul! I know the truth . . . that's all that counts here."

"Ooh, big man now aren't you? Throwing your Alpha weight around. You know what pisses me off? You're just a snot-nosed punk who happened to get the right genes," he spit at me with a poke of his finger into my chest. "We don't need a little boy to be our leader . . . we need a man. What do you know about being a man? You've been coddled your whole life . . . you have NO IDEA what it means to be a man and make decisions!"

"Like you do? You're 18 and all of a sudden you're a man?" I threw back.

His nostrils flared as his anger flowed through him. "I became a man a long time ago, Jake! So did he," he said with a nod toward Sam. "We grew up fast because we had to. Both of our dads took off when we were little leaving us to clean up their messes. Sam's mom drank herself to death and he took care of her from the time he was eleven. My mom dumped me at my grandma's when I was six! SIX! My grandma is 78, Jake! I had to learn very young how to make sure she took the right medicine and then later how to give her insulin shots, and find money to pay the bills . . . life hasn't always been a picnic for us like it has for you. We have had to make those hard decisions while you went to school and played with your little friends, Emby and Quil. You can't hide behind your daddy anymore. He may want you to be Alpha because it's your fucking destiny, but he can't make you a man."

"You fucking jerk!" Leah cried out as she launched herself at Paul. "He's more of a man than you'll EVER be!" I grabbed her around the waist just before she reached him and picked her up to set her behind me with the order, "Leah! Knock it off!"

Her look of fury told me she was seething, but she stayed put as I turned back to Paul to say, "Look, I get it, OK? You're right, your life sucks. Everyone's life sucks, Paul. My mom was killed by a drunk driver when I was 8! You think that was fun for me? My sisters bailed first chance they got and left me at age 13 to take care of my dad who's in a wheelchair! Yeah, that's a picnic."

I stopped and took a deep breath then ran my hand through my hair. "Look, I didn't come here to compare whose life sucks more. I may only be 17, and not the man you think I should be, but this is _my_ destiny, Paul and no one else's. I know you both don't agree with how I want to deal with this, and believe it or not, I do understand why. Sam, when you quit and walked out dumping this on me, I . . . "

"What? What did you just say? Did you say, Sam _quit_?" Paul interrupted.

I turned to him and nodded. "Yeah. When we went to the elders, he quit. Didn't he tell you that?"

Paul turned to Sam who suddenly looked a little sheepish. "You told me the elders stripped it away from you because you wouldn't agree with them. Did you really just quit?"

_Oh shit . . . now this was getting good. _

Sam shot me a look meant to kill then turned to Paul. "Yeah, I quit. I couldn't stand them looking at me like I was fucking crazy! I know I am right about this threat, but of course Billy wouldn't listen to me. So I quit and put it all on Jake. I knew he wouldn't be able to handle it and he'd come crawling back to me."

"Oh, so you think that's why I'm here? Crawling back to you, begging you to take Alpha again?"

"Aren't you?"

I glanced at Leah and suddenly I felt stronger than I ever had. The wolf inside growled and poked at me to take my position now and never look back. I felt myself stand a little straighter as I told him, "No, Sam. That's not why I'm here." I closed the gap between me and Sam so I could look directly in his eyes as I said, "I am here to tell you that I AM ALPHA. I AM the leader of this pack . . . this ONE pack, this ONE family, and you and Paul and all of the other pack members will listen to me and respect my decisions. The ancestors of our tribe never intended for there to be more than one pack, and that is how it will stay. If you have a problem with _me,_ you come to _me_. Got it?"

Sam glared at me, knowing I was right, but not knowing how to give in and still keep face in front of Paul. I wondered for a second if he would fight me, but I already felt him giving in and accepting me. Finally, he gave me a slight nod and then turned away from me. I stepped over in front of Paul and said, "Do you have a problem with that?"

"Yeah, I do, but I guess there isn't anything I can do about it, is there?" he growled.

I glanced down at the ground for a moment to compose myself then I looked back up at Paul. I knew for my sister's sake, we had to find a way to get along. "Paul, look. For Rachel's sake, we need to find a way to resolve this hatred between us. It's ripping her apart, and I love her too much to keep doing this to her." Just the mention of Rachel's name got to him . . . I could see it in his eyes. "I don't have the time right now to discuss it, but, sooner or later you and I are going to have to sit down and dig into this. I know that you are always going to be a part of Rachel's life now, and so am I, so . . . just think about it, alright?"

He let out a breath and then gave me a slight nod. It was enough to let me know I had gotten through to him. I nodded in return then turned to stand next to Leah and face them. "OK. This is done. I will call a pack meeting later so we can show our unity. I will meet with Carlisle as soon as I can to find out more about these kids so I can make a better decision on how to handle things if this baby lives. Any questions?"

I was met with silent glares, so I looked to Leah and said, "OK, let's go."

We walked around the house to my car and once we were inside I let out a huge breath and let my head fall back against the headrest. "Fuck, that was hard."

"Yeah, but you were good, Jake. You stood up to them and let them know who was boss. I am really proud of you."

I opened my eyes to turn to her. "Really? Even when I grabbed you to keep you from beating the shit out of Paul?"

"Well, yeah. You can't have pack members beating each other up, can you? Besides, you just didn't want to see Paul cry like a little baby when I messed him up."

I barked out a laugh at that and Leah joined me. "Come on, tough girl. I'm beat and I want to go home and nap before I go out on patrol tonight." I started the engine and pulled out of Sam's drive to head to Leah's. I was surprised at how I was feeling . . . strong, confident, not quite so scared at the idea of being Alpha. I still had no fucking idea what to do if Bella's baby lived, but I was more confident now that I could find a solution. I just hoped I was right.


	19. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER 18**

**Bella POV:**

Now that I knew exactly how angry Edward was with me and how he really felt about my baby, I took to staying in my room and avoided all contact with him and his family. Since they now knew what had happened between me and Jacob, I felt a divide between them and me. Carlisle was still caring as always, and Esme was polite in taking care of me . . . assisting Carlisle when he needed something or bringing me food, and of course, Emmett was still there for me with a smile and a hug when I needed it. But, the rest of the Cullens held themselves away from me, even Alice. That one really hurt.

But then, I really didn't feel like talking anyway. Not even to Jacob, who called that next morning to apologize again for the argument we had when he brought me home. I told him I forgave him, but I didn't want him to come over to see me. I just didn't feel right about seeing him here in Edward's home. I should never have done that to Edward in the first place. I told him I was fine and hung up quickly. I felt like being alone in my misery. I felt I deserved it for what I had done . . . like it was my penance.

So, I moped around for two days, eating very little as the ever present nausea still kept me from being hungry, watched TV and attempted to read a book about pregnancy, until finally, I couldn't stand it anymore. I felt as if this room was swallowing me . . . I needed to get out before what little was left of myself was gone. It was Wednesday, and I had promised to cook dinner for my dad tonight, so I forced myself out of bed, showered and dressed and went to inform whoever was around that I was going to my dad's, so Carlisle would know where I'd gone. He seemed to be the only one that really cared anyway.

As I entered the living room, I found Emmett lounging on the sectional, playing a video game. He called out, "Hey, look who's finally out of her room!" as he stood up to envelope me into one of his famous bear hugs. It actually felt pretty good.

I stepped back to look at him as I said, "Thanks, I needed that. I am headed over to my dad's. I promised to make dinner for him tonight. Have you seen Edward anywhere?"

I hadn't seen Edward since Sunday night, when he finally opened up to me and let me know just how hurt he was. I noticed Emmett looked rather uncomfortable about answering me so I asked, "Emmett? What's going on?"

"Um, he left Sunday night and he hasn't been back."

I tried to hide the shock and pain that went through me at that statement. _He . . .left? _"Oh. I wondered when I hadn't seen him . . . " my voice trailed off. I knew he was hurt and angry, but to just leave like that? "Did he go alone or did he go with someone?"

"He went alone. Jasper wanted to take off to try and find him, but Carlisle said maybe we should just give him some time alone. He has his phone with him, so if something happens . . . " he said as he glanced down at my stomach, "we can call him."

"I see," I sighed. Emmett rested his huge hand on my shoulder in an attempt to console me and I gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Emmett. I guess I'll drive myself over to Dad's."

"I can do that," he volunteered with a grin. "Then you can just give me a call when you're ready to come home and I'll pick you up."

"Thanks, that's sweet."

A grin spread over his face as he quipped, "Yep, that's me. Sweet Emmett."

That made me laugh as we turned and headed for the garage. Emmett was really such a huge teddy bear, yet, I'd seen him in action as a vampire, and he was deadly. It amazed me how he could be two such different people wrapped up in one very handsome muscular body. "Are you sure you should go out? You look tired." he asked me.

"The baby has settled down somewhat, so we are now on a day-to-day basis, I guess. Carlisle told me last night that he was hoping I could go just a couple more days then he would feel better about delivering her. I'm just going kind of stir-crazy here. I need to get out, and I really want to see my dad."

Emmett finally relented and we decided on the Jeep since it was a warm sunny day. It felt great to roll down the road with the breeze in my hair. It was so easy to be with Emmett . . . it seemed he was always in a good mood, smiling and laughing. How I wished I could be like that instead of feeling like I was dying inside.

He stopped the Jeep at Dad's and I climbed out with a, "Thanks, Emmett."

"No problem, sis. Just give me a call later, and take it easy, OK?"

"I promise." I turned and moved to the front door and unlocked it as he drove away with a honk and a wave. After closing the door, I leaned back against it and let out a ragged breath full of emotion I did not want to feel. _How could Edward leave like that without so much as one word to me? I am pregnant with his child . . . a child who may not live long and . . . _I squeezed my eyes shut and willed myself not to cry. I was not going to shed anymore tears over this . . . at least not right now.

I shoved myself away from the door and walked to the kitchen to see if Dad had gotten the groceries I asked for. I opened the fridge to take stock and smiled. Everything was here for baked macaroni and cheese. I would throw some ham into it and add green beans as a side dish, and call it dinner. I closed the fridge to glance at the clock. It was only a little after one. I had plenty of time before I needed to start dinner. I grabbed an apple and bit into it then left the kitchen to see what cleaning needed to be done.

I walked into the living room to find some clutter than needed straightening up so I did that as I ate my apple. Then I grabbed a dust rag and as I finished, there was a knock on the door. I opened it to find Jacob there, wearing only a pair of gym shorts and his signature grin.

"Hey, Bells. How's it going?" he said cheerfully as he glided by me into the house.

I closed the door with a sigh. "OK, I guess. How did you know I was here?"

"It's Wednesday. You told me you promised your dad that you would make dinner for him tonight," he explained.

"Oh yeah," I remembered as I plopped down onto the couch beside him.

"How did you get here? There no huge tank parked outside."

I shot him a smile and said, "Emmett brought me."

"Oh. You look tired. You feeling OK?" he asked as he took my hand in his. "And you're freezing, Bells . . . more than usual."

Suddenly, I felt tired, really, really tired. But instead of admitting that to Jake, I said, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just been a rough couple of days." As soon as that was out of my mouth, I wished I wouldn't have said it. Now he would want me to talk about it, and I really didn't want to.

"Why? What's going on? Is it the babies?" he asked anxiously. I liked how he said 'babies' showing his concern for both of them and not just his. That kind of surprised me.

"No, the babies are alright. It's . . . it's Edward. We kind of had a fight after you dropped me off Sunday night."

"After the fight we had. Great."

I had to smile at that. "Yeah. For some reason it just wasn't my night."

Immediately, he started apologizing again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you like that . . . "

I squeezed his hand up to stop him as I said, "Don't. You've already apologized enough, Jake. We're fine."

"Good," he conceded as he relaxed back into the couch. "So, what did you two fight about?"

"What do you think we fought about? You," I told him as I turned to look at him. "I asked him to tell me how he was really feeling, and well, he told me. I hurt him, Jake, very deeply. I don't know if he'll ever be able to forgive me."

"Oh," was all he said.

"The last thing we talked about was the babies. I told him that no matter how we all felt about each other, we would have to find a way to get along for them. That we were going to be parents one day soon and they would need all of us. That's when he told me he wasn't sure he could do that and . . . he walked out. I just found out this morning from Emmett that Edward left Sunday night, and he hasn't been back since."

Jacob's brows furrowed in anger. "He just left? Without telling you?" I nodded slightly and then he asked, "Who does that? What a fucking jerk!"

I gave him a look of disapproval. "Come on, Jake, think about it. Seeing us together . . . knowing that I am carrying your baby, I mean, it must be really hard for him."

"You think it's not hard for me to know that you're carrying his kid, too?" he huffed. "That you had sex with him? It hurts like hell, Bella, but I'm still here."

I shot him a look of surprise. "But, I married Edward . . . we were on our honeymoon. You had to know that I would have sex with him . . . "

"Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, Bells," he threw at me. I could see in his eyes exactly how much it hurt. "The whole time you were gone, it tortured me . . . I hated the thought of you with him . . . of him making you feel like I did. I still fucking hate it." His head dropped as he picked at the leg of his shorts.

Before I could stop myself, I admitted, "He didn't."

His head turned to me slowly as he asked, "Didn't what?"

I closed my eyes and willed my mouth to stop talking, but of course, it never listened to me. "Make me feel like you did."

I felt his hand under my chin and I opened my eyes as he forced me to look at him. "What do you mean?"

I sighed and shook his hand away as I said quickly, "I shouldn't have said that. I don't want to talk about that with you, alright?"

"No, you can't say something like that then just stop. Talk to me, Bella. Finish what you were going to say."

My eyes looked to the ceiling, then the floor, anywhere but at Jacob. I didn't want to answer his questions, but knowing Jake like I did, I knew he wouldn't give up. "You heard him, that day we found out I was pregnant. It was horrible, how much it hurt . . . worse than I ever thought. I shouldn't have pushed him . . . I thought he could handle it, but he couldn't. So I never tried to push him again . . . once was enough."

I could see the shock on his face at my last comment. "Really? You only had sex once with him? All this time you've been married?"

I nodded silently. _God, why couldn't I ever keep anything from Jacob? _"Yes. And I got pregnant. How does that even happen?"

Jacob smiled softly as he said, "It happens more than you think, I'm sure. Look at us."

"Yeah, look at us," I repeated softly as I looked in to Jacob's eyes. _Us . . . what we were really? Were we still just best friends, now that I was pregnant with his baby? _

"So . . . you never, um . . . you know, had . . . or felt _that, _except with me?" Jacob asked softly.

It made me smile to realize he was to shy to say the word "orgasm." He certainly wasn't shy that night we made love, and I had not one but two, if I remember correctly. "Are you trying to ask me if I had an orgasm, Jake?" I teased. I couldn't help it . . . he was being so pathetic.

With a sigh, he admitted, "Yes."

"I just told you how painful it was . . . so,no. You can feel all manly now knowing you are the only other person I ever felt that with."

I swear his chest puffed out just a little as the smile grew on his face. "I'm sorry . . . I shouldn't have asked, it's just . . ."

"Yeah, I get it. Look, Jake, that night was . . . well, we both know what it was to us. But . . . now I'm married and pregnant with babies from both of you, and," I stopped then sighed, "I really fucked this up, Jacob."

"Yeah, you did, with help from me," Jake said as he put his arm around me to haul me to his side. "I'm sorry, Bells. I never thought when I crawled through your window that night, that all this would be set in motion. I mean, I don't regret that night for anything, but, I hate what it's doing to you now."

"Yeah, I know," I sighed as I leaned into him to take advantage of his warmth, because for some reason, the last few days I could never seem to get warm. I felt him drop a kiss onto the top of my head as he relaxed back into the cushions. "Do you ever wish you had a big rewind button that you could push so you could go back and do things differently?" I asked him wistfully.

I felt his chest rumble under my head as he chuckled. "Like every day." He was quiet for a moment then he told me softly, "I've always wanted to rewind back to that day we were standing in your kitchen, after you took your cliff dive." I nodded as I remembered the exact moment. "We locked eyes and I had just leaned into kiss you . . . I whispered to you in Quileute, our lips just barely touched and the damn phone rang. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened had I not answered that phone. Maybe you would have realized then that you loved me and you could have stayed here instead of running to Italy. I think of all you would have been saved from."

"But I was so taken with Edward then. I mean, I jumped off a cliff just to see his face in my mind. What does that tell you? I'd like to say that it might have changed things, but . . . I just don't know. I do know that I had been thinking a long time about kissing you right before that though."

"Really? You thought about kissing me? Why didn't you ever act on that thought? You had to know I was more than willing."

"Yes, I knew that. But, I was so afraid that it might change what we had, and I couldn't take the chance of losing you as my friend if things didn't work out between us for some reason. You were all that was holding me together, Jacob. If I lost you . . . "

"You could never lose me, Bells. I mean, you've tried to get rid of me how many times and look . . . I'm still here!"

I let out a soft laugh and rubbed my cheek on his bare chest. "Yes, you are. And I would still be lost without you." I snuggled into him and reveled in the warmth that was _my Jacob. _Not just the physical warmth, but the love that radiated from him. It was intoxicating and getting harder and harder for me to resist. As I lay there wrapped in that warmth, I felt myself getting sleepier as I got warmer and before long I drifted off to sleep.

"Bells, honey, wake up." I opened my eyes as Jake gently pushed me up to a sitting position. "We both fell asleep. It's almost five."

_What? Did he say five? _"Oh wow. I knew I was tired, but I didn't expect to fall asleep like that." Then, an intense wave of nausea took me by surprise and I jumped up to run to the bathroom. I made it just in time to empty what little food was in my stomach into the toilet.

"Bells? Are you OK?" I heard Jacob come into the bathroom after me then I felt him gather my hair from around my face to hold behind me as I heaved. I heard water running then I felt a cold washcloth on the back of my neck. No one had done this for me since my mom used to when I was a kid.

"Thanks," I croaked when I was finally finished. Jacob handed me a small cup of water to rinse my mouth then I flushed and sat down on the floor next to the toilet to try and calm myself. I hated throwing up . . . but I was certainly getting good at it.

"You didn't have much to puke, did you?" he asked as he sat down beside me.

I shook my head. "I'm not hungry and when I do eat, this is what happens."

"This can't be good for the babies."

"Maybe I should just go home. I'm not going to be able to cook now. I still feel so tired."

"I'll take you home in the truck," he volunteered.

I looked over at him and gave him a small smile. "Thanks. And, um, thanks for holding my hair while I puked. I'm sure that had to be the highlight of the day for you."

I expected him to say something funny or tease me . . . what I didn't expect was the look of love in his eyes as he said, "No, that was holding you while you slept."

"Jake," I started then couldn't finish. He was really getting to me today . . . listening to me whine, holding me, taking care of me . . . I was having a harder time keeping him at arm's length like I promised myself I would.

Jacob bent forward to put a soft kiss on my forehead. "It's OK, Bells. I'll go pull the truck around to the front of the house." And with that, he got up and disappeared out the door.

My eyes closed as my head fell back to rest against the wall. _Oh Bella. What a mess you're in. You are married to the man you were ready to give your life for, and falling deeper in love with your best friend. How are you going to deal with this one?_

I finally shoved myself up off of the floor and grabbed my purse to head out to the truck. Once inside, I pulled out my cell phone and called Dad to apologize for not being able to have dinner with him. Of course he understood and told me to get some rest and he would call me tomorrow to check on me. Once I finished my call, I let out a deep sigh.

"You OK?" Jacob asked.

I shook my head, but said nothing as I looked out the window at the world rushing by, wondering if I would ever be OK again.

Once Jacob had the truck parked in front of the Cullen house, I turned to him and said, "Thanks, again. I'll call you later." Then I saw him open his door and get out of the truck. I opened mine to crawl out as I asked him, "What are you doing?"

"I actually have an appointment with Carlisle to talk treaty stuff. I have a few questions for him," he answered.

"Oh. Why didn't you tell me that?"

Jacob grinned as he said, "I wanted you to think I was just being a nice guy."

I rolled my eyes at him as I opened the front door and we found Carlisle was there in the living room, talking with Esme, while he waited for Jacob. He rose and crossed the room to extend his hand as soon as he saw us. "Jacob, right on time." Jacob shook his hand and then nodded to Esme as she excused herself from the room.

I was more than curious to hear what they had to talk about, so when Carlisle invited Jacob to sit down, I plopped down on the sectional beside him. "What do you think you're doing, Bells?" Jacob asked me.

"I'm sitting down. Is that wrong?"

"Well, this is technically a meeting between Carlisle and I to talk business."

"Yeah? So? Do I need to know a secret handshake or something to be able to stay?"

Jacob shook his head and looked over at Carlisle for some help, who just smiled. He knew how stubborn I was. Exasperated, Jacob turned back to me and said, "No, but what we have to talk about is . . . look, I would feel more comfortable talking to Carlisle without you here, OK? So go lay down, or I'll tell him about you not eating."

I glared at him as Carlisle said, "Bella? You haven't been eating?"

"Yes, I have, but it doesn't stay down," I rebelled.

"And she's very tired and cold all the time," Jacob threw in for good measure.

"As soon as Jacob and I are finished, I will come in and take a look at you," Carlisle told me. "I can see by the dark circles under your eyes that you are not feeling well."

Jacob shot me a pompous look as I huffed and shoved myself off the sofa. "Fine. I will go to bed like a good obedient child." As I turned to go I heard Jacob call out, "That would be a first." So, of course, I turned back and stuck out my tongue. _Real mature_. I heard them both laugh as I walked to my room and slammed the door.


	20. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER 19**

**Jacob POV:**

"Thanks for meeting with me, Carlisle," I started after Bella was finally gone. I really didn't want her to hear us discussing her child like it was just a thing that had to be dealt with instead of a baby to be nurtured.

"Of course, Jacob. Why don't you tell me your concerns, and I'll try to address them as best I can," Carlisle answered politely, as always.

"Well, we all have adopted this 'wait and see' attitude about Bella's baby for now, but my concern is what to do if it lives. I know you think there is only a slight chance, but now, as Alpha, I have to think how this will affect things if this baby lives. And I'm sorry about this . . . I personally don't think this is some super vampire that will kill us all, but I am dealing with certain members of my pack that are, well, having issues with it, and I need to able to make them see . . . "

"I understand," he interrupted with a nod. "I have put together some of the research I have found for you to take with you. Maybe it will help you to read it yourself and you can share it with the elders . . . and the pack." The he held out a blue report cover with about an inch's worth of paper inside it.

"Thanks," I uttered as I reached for the book. "I remember you saying that these children reach maturity in around seven years. What did you mean by that? I mean, are they like a seven-year-old child, or do they grow to be an adult in seven years?"

"An adult in seven years," he clarified. "But, I can only find just a few documented cases. Even in the best circumstances, avoiding all viruses and sickness, most of them died before their first or second birthday. I do believe there are others out there that may have grown to adulthood, but like I've said before, there is just not much data to go on."

"Has Bella seen this?" I gestured to the papers I know held in my lap.

Carlisle shook his head. "No, but Edward has."

"So that's why he's disappeared instead of being here for his wife?" I let slip out before I could stop myself.

"Yes, but . . . not entirely," he said slowly.

I got his meaning and then suddenly felt like a dick. Carlisle had never been anything but kind to me, and here I was, sitting in his house, judging his son for something I had caused. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I know why he's upset and I know I'm the cause. This whole thing is such a mess."

With a nod, Carlisle said, "Yes, it is, Jacob, and I have no idea what the perfect solution would be. But, I believe, as does Bella, that you all have to find a way to deal with the emotions of this situation. You will all be parents very soon, and it will be detrimental to the children to have their parents hating each other."

I let out a huge sigh as I nodded. "I know. I've thought long and hard about that."

"So has Edward, and his only way of dealing with this right now is to take some time to think, away from Bella . . . and away from you."

I nodded my understanding then said, "I won't come to the house anymore. This is Edward's home and he doesn't need to see me here, I get that. But, Bella is carrying my child, too, and he has to understand that I have a right to be there for her and that child."

"Yes, you do, Jacob. But . . . " he stopped just as the door opened and Edward walked in. "Hello, Edward."

I stood to go as Edward glared at me, not even taking the time to answer Carlisle's greeting. "Thank you, Carlisle, for this," I said as I held up the papers he gave me. "I'll be in touch."

I made my way to the front door, fighting the urge to go and say good-bye to Bella, and walked toward the truck. Edward appeared practically out of thin air before I could even reach for the truck door handle. "Whoa! What do you want?" I asked him in surprise.

"How did I know that I would return home to find you here?" Edward asked with a sneer as he stepped between me and the truck.

"Look, I just came to talk to Carlisle, alright? So back the fuck off," I returned evenly, trying so hard to keep my anger in check.

"You ruined everything for me . . . for us," he growled. "Stay away from here . . . and from her."

"I'll stay away from here, but not from Bella," I answered angrily, my blood starting to boil. "She's carrying my baby, too, and I have a right to be there for that child."

"That's just an excuse and you know it," he spit out as we began instinctively circling each other. "You know I can hear everything that goes on in that disgusting mind of yours."

"But what's killing you is that you can't hear Bella's," I shot back. "You want to know if she wants me as much as I want her . . . what do you think?" Before I could stop it, a vision of that night Bella and I shared tore through my mind . . . _her body slick with sweat, head thrown back, crying out in ecstasy as she hit her peak . . . _

That's when Edward lunged at me with a look to kill but I was ready for him and took the hit then rolled to the side as he readied himself for another. Rage poured through my veins for this guy and I wanted nothing more than to rip this fucker apart. I could feel my body close to phasing when he hit me full force and threw me into a tree so hard I heard the trunk crack. I lay there stunned for a just a moment until I heard him taunt me with, "Come on, all mighty Alpha dog of the pack. Where's your wolf now?"

That's when I let go and allowed the rage to run free and soon I felt the familiar waves pass over me as my body phased and scraps of my clothes and shoes when flying in all directions. Leaping at him, a fierce howl ripped from me as I caught his hand in my mouth and tore it from his body. I watched it hit the ground as he flew around to land a good kick into my ribs and I felt one crack in two. _A rib for a hand . . . seems fair to me._

Edward shouted "You'll pay for that, mongrel!" as he came at me again. I was ready this time and easily pinned him to the ground and had my teeth at his neck when we heard Carlisle roar, "ENOUGH! STOP THIS NOW!"

I was shocked as Edward immediately stopped fighting. I was equally shocked to hear Carlisle shout so loudly. I had never seen him angry before and I realized now he was quite a force to be reckoned with. But the adrenaline was still pumping through my body as I held him to the ground, my teeth mere inches away from sinking into his skin, everything in my being telling me to kill him, until I heard another voice . . . Bella's, asking, "What's going on out here?"

I turned my head to see Bella stop behind Carlisle, now dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, looking more pale that she had this afternoon. Seeing the terror in her eyes at the scene before her, I finally realized what this was doing to her. She didn't need this right now. Using all the restraint I could muster, I looked down at Edward and sent him the mental message, _Way to go, prick. She's exhausted, sick and already feels like shit. Now she has to deal with this? Grow up, dude. _Then I backed off and let him up.

"Shut up!" he spit at me before he turned to Carlisle and Bella. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Bella."

"Your hand," Bella said to him, her face contorted with fear. "Oh my God . . . where's your hand?"

Quickly turning to look for it, Edward spotted it lying in the grass. He walked over and picked it up then I watched in horror as it actually reattached itself to his arm! Putting it to his mouth, he then spit some venom on the seam and it sealed . . . making it good as new. _No wonder these fuckers are so hard to kill._

Edward shot me a sneer that told me he heard that. _Nothing a match won't take care of, though, _I immediately sent back. I wanted to phase, but realizing I now had nothing to cover myself with, I just stood there, feeling like a complete idiot. I hated the look on Bella's face. I wanted so badly to walk over and take her in my arms and make that look disappear. That brought another look from Edward, so I immaturely let him see me and Bella from this afternoon, when I held her while she slept. Then I let him see her throwing up while I held her hair and took care of her. That brought another growl and I huffed, _At least I was there for her._

"Jacob, I think now would be a good time for you to go," Carlisle said to me.

I nodded then stepped closer to Bella. I hoped she could see in my eyes how sorry I was to scare her like that. Her return gaze told me she knew. "Go, Jacob," she said to me quietly. "I'll take care of the truck."

I nudged her softly with my head then with one more look at Edward, I turned and ran for home. I ran hard, trying to use up the adrenaline that was now coursing through my veins, as I realized how close I had come to killing him. That could never happen again. As much as I hated the fucker, Bella would hate me forever for killing him, and I couldn't live with that.

That night, after I finally calmed down, I laid in my bed and read the research that Carlisle had given me. At least I had the foresight to stop and take it between my teeth before I ran off.

Carlisle had done a good job gathering information . . . there was at least 100 pages of stuff to read here, and I was about halfway through and thoroughly engrossed. Apparently there were myths in South America about these creatures . . . one woman who was raised in the traditions of her people shared the warning that these creatures must be killed as soon as possible before they could gain too much strength. _Was Sam right? Was this baby a threat to all of us?_

I went on to read the part about the mothers of these things, and how they didn't survive the birth. One story told how the creature used its teeth to cut its way out of the womb. _Oh my God . . . Bella. _I was suddenly very glad that she had Carlisle by her side at all times, ready to take this thing out of her.

As for how quickly this child would develop once it was born, well, the research there was rather sketchy . . . just my luck. Since most of them either died during birth or were killed by terrified villagers, I guess there wasn't much data to collect. Carlisle had written notes in the margins in his very neat handwriting, unusual for a doctor, and I could see that he was guessing that it would reach maturity by seven years. It could be sooner depending on the individual and its environment. But once maturity was reached, was there a way to slow the aging? If it matured at say, five, would it be old at 10? Die of natural causes by 15?

Closing the file, I threw it down onto the mattress beside me with a sigh. As I rubbed my eyes, tired now from hours of reading, I realized this really didn't help me as much as I hoped it would in making a decision. There were still too many holes in the research . . . too many variables. I decided that I would give this folder to Dad in the morning and have him read it. Maybe he could decipher something I couldn't.

I turned off the light and settled against the pillows to try and nap for a few hours before I had to patrol. As I closed my eyes, I saw Bella as I held her this afternoon. She was so relaxed in my arms . . . she fit there perfectly. I finally drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a day when I could always sleep with Bella in my arms.

Later, as I ran my patrol with Quil and Seth, I unwillingly shared with them some of what I read last night as it was still foremost in my mind.

_"It has teeth? Enough to tear its way out of her?" _Seth was grossed out by that. "_But Carlisle won't let that happen, right?"_

_"No. He's assured me he will do everything he can to make sure that Bella is safe."_

_"How long is he going to leave that thing in her?" _Quil asked.

_"I don't know. When we got the ultrasound, he indicated it might only be a few more days. I hope so, cause she's getting weaker and sicker every day that goes by."_

_"Do you think it would be OK if I went to visit her?" _Seth wanted to know.

_"You know, Seth, she might really like that. She gets pretty bored just sitting around, and well, I told Carlisle that I wouldn't go there anymore to see her since it pisses Edward off so much." _

Then the fight with him jumped into my mind. Man, I had wanted to kill him so bad it hurt, but I'm glad Carlisle stopped it when he did. Regardless of what I felt for him, Bella still loved him, and they did have a kid to think about, so . . . I would have to find some way to avoid him. Having Seth be my eyes and ears there at the house was really a pretty good solution.

_"Man, Jake, chill. I can feel your rage and now I want more than anything to rip into a bloodsucker!" _

Quil was right. I had to control this anger I had for Edward. It almost got way out of hand last night. _"Sorry, Quil. It's just . . . God, I wanted to kill Edward last night! If Carlisle hadn't stopped us . . . I'm afraid I would have. And Bella would have hated me for it."_

_"You're right . . . she would have. You two are going to be parents soon. Maybe it's time to grow up and act like it."_

That made me laugh, even though I knew he was right. I guess imprinting on Claire made him more like a parent than a mate right now. Spending so much time with her, and accepting responsibility for her . . . I decided that maybe I should spend more time with the two of them to get ready for fatherhood.

We finished up our patrol and I headed home for some more sleep then when I woke up, I immediately called Bella. I was so worried about her, and not being able to go and see her was killing me.

"Hello?" she answered sleepily.

I glanced at the clock to see it was after ten in the morning . . . she should be awake by now, shouldn't she? "Hey, sleepyhead. How ya feeling? Did Carlisle check you out?" I asked.

"Um, yeah, last night. He put in an IV line to give me some fluids to keep me from dehydrating and added something to help with the nausea."

"Is it working?"

"The nausea is a little better, but I'm really sleepy."

I could hear that in her voice. Every fiber of my being wanted to be there, to hold her and let her know how much I cared about her. "I wish I could come and see you, but I promised Carlisle that I would stay away, from the house for . . . Edward."

"I know, I think that's best after last night."

"God, I'm so sorry about that Bella. He came home while I was talking to Carlisle, so I got up to leave and before I even got to the truck, he was there in my face . . . I should have just walked away . . . I shouldn't have let it get that out of hand . . . "

"I know. He already apologized to me. He promised he wouldn't let it happen again."

Somehow I doubted that, but instead I said, "Me, too. I can't afford to do that again . . . that was my last pair of shoes," I told her to try and lighten the mood a little.

"Jake, I'm so sorry. I'll buy you a new pair . . . "

"Stop it. I can get my own pair of shoes, I was just trying . . . never mind. Hey, um, Seth asked me if he could visit you. Would that be OK?"

"Yes, of course. I like Seth. It's sweet that he wants to see me." _And be my spy . . . _

"Alright, I'll let him know." There was a lull in our conversation, and I felt that I was tiring her out, so I said, "I'll let you go, Bells. Please call me later and let me know how you're doing OK?"

"OK," she agreed weakly.

Before I could stop myself, I mumbled into the phone, "I miss you."

There was a pause then I heard her say softly, "I miss you, too." Then she hung up.

After placing the receiver back into the cradle, I let myself slide down the wall to sit on the kitchen floor and rest my head in my hands. God, I hated this! I wanted to be with her . . . I _needed_ to be with her. What little patience I had was slipping away fast. It was all I could do not to charge into that coven house, pick her up and bring her here to La Push to keep her with me forever. But, right now, she was in the best place she could be . . . close to Carlisle. I had to trust him now to keep her safe. I had no choice.

Later that afternoon, I showed the folder of information that Carlisle had given me to Dad and asked him to read it and then share his opinion with me. Agreeing, he told me to give him some time to read it and he would get back to me. So, I headed out to the garage to work on the Harley.

With my new found Alpha duties, I hadn't had as much time as I wanted to work on the bike. I wanted more than anything to just bury myself in fixing this thing and forget everything else. The stress was killing me! Once in the garage, I grabbed some tools, plopped down next to the bike and went to work.

I was happy to actually get three hours to myself until Seth came into the garage. "Hey, Jake."

"What's up, Seth," I said with a glance at him as I sprayed some WD-40 on the pieces I had in my hand, as some of these parts were old and rusted, and hard to break apart.

"I just came from seeing Bella."

I looked up to see that he wasn't his usual happy-go-lucky self. He looked worried. "And?" I said as I laid the part on the work bench then grabbed a rag to wipe the grease from my hands.

"And, she's not doing so good, Jake. She's really tired and weak, cause she can't seem to keep anything down, and man, she's freezing! More than usual."

"Shit," I sighed as I threw the rag down. "God, I hate this."

"I was so surprised when I saw her," Seth went on to say. "She tried to smile and make it not as bad as it looked, but I could tell she was faking. I'm really worried about her."

"Yeah, buddy, me, too." This was not what I wanted to hear. How could I make myself stay away now? Now that I knew she needed me more than ever?


	21. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER 20**

**Bella POV:**

I hung up on Jake and let the cell phone slip from my hand onto the mattress beside me. Maybe I shouldn't have admitted to him that I missed him, but what did it matter now? I suddenly felt so weak, and this baby was stretching to find more room, and causing me some pain . . . I was starting to think there was a chance that Carlisle had been right and I wouldn't live long enough to see either baby born.

I felt so alone now that Edward had pulled completely away from me. When he had come to me to apologize after his fight with Jacob, I asked him where he had been for the last three days. He was evasive with his answers . . . even when I confronted him with the fact that I could smell perfume on his jacket. Anger burned in his eyes as he threw at me, "Like you care?"

"Yes, I care, Edward, but lately I am wondering why."

That's when he stalked out and I hadn't seen him since. After he left, I laid there trying to remember where I had come across that scent of perfume before . . . finally it hit me: _the wedding . ._ . _Tanya._

I sniffed back the tears as that realization sunk in. I didn't deserve to cry . . . I had betrayed him first with Jacob. I guess he had the right now to go elsewhere to get what he couldn't from me. Hadn't I done that, too? _How did we get here? To this place where everything was so surreal . . . so wrong?_

So now, I was completely alone, here in this bed, feeling defeated and so disgusted with myself for the choices I made in the last few months. Jacob was right when he accused me of knowing before I married Edward. I did. If I would have been honest with myself then, I would have realized that I loved Jacob more than I should to be marrying someone else. And I did love Jacob . . . I think I've always loved Jacob, only I was too blinded by the romance of Edward to see it. As I lay there and thought back over all the time I spent with Jake, and how he has always cared for me, never asking me to change who I am . . . it made me sick to realize how I've treated him. I always feel so at home with Jake, so . . . myself with him. He makes me laugh and I feel so strong when I'm with him . . . not weak and so inferior like I feel with Edward. Here, I'm not pretty enough, or smart enough or strong enough . . . I was willing to give up my life to be a vampire for all eternity just to gain those things . . . _Oh my God, I've been so stupid. I don't need to do that, because with Jacob, I am all those things . . . pretty, smart and strong._

But now, laying here in this bed, weak, tired and in pain . . . I was afraid it may be too late for me and Jacob.

Esme had come in earlier this morning and tried to make me eat just toast, but I could barely swallow it. I felt like I was choking on it, so after two bites, she made me stop. Then, deciding that maybe liquids would be best, she brought me a protein shake to try. I drank most of it then as soon as it was down, it came back up. Esme got the basin to my mouth just in time to collect the vomit.

After cleaning the basin, Esme stepped over to me to say, "Carlisle has gone out for awhile, but as soon as he returns, I will send him to see you. This can't go on, Bella. You're getting weaker by the minute."

I just nodded, as I really had nothing else to say to that. I knew I was weaker, and it terrified me.

Brushing my hair off my forehead, Esme said, "Get some rest. I'll check on you in a little bit." I watched her walk away, thankful that she could put aside her feelings for what I did to Edward to be here for me. Without her and Carlisle, I don't know where I would be right now.

Seth surprised me with a visit just after Esme left the room. Jacob had told me he wanted to come, but now I thought maybe I should have told him no. I could see by the worry on his face that I must look worse than I thought. I tried to smile for him, to make him think that it wasn't as bad as it looked, but I knew I didn't fool him. Especially when he reached out to hold my hand.

"Bella! You're freezing!" Seth exclaimed.

"I'm always freezing to you, wolf boy," I reminded him.

"Yeah, but this is like, sub-zero freezing." Taking both of my hands in his, he rubbed them to warm them. "How's that?"

"Mmm, better . . . thanks, Seth."

He continued to rub my hands and arms to share his werewolf heat with me, as he chattered on about the pack, telling me stories about Quil and Claire, but all it did really was make me miss Jacob even more. I longed to have him hold me in his arms and let the heat from his body soak into mine.

Finally, I told Seth that I was really tired and wanted to sleep and he smiled and told me good bye. He asked if he could come again and I told him yes. How could I not? He was such a sweet boy, and I really did like having him around, but . . . I hated him seeing me like this.

So, he left, and I slept for awhile until there was a knock on the door. I opened my eyes and instead of Carlisle, it was Rosalie asking if she could come in for awhile. I didn't really want her here, but she entered before I could give her my answer. As always, her question was just a formality instead of real concern for my feelings.

As Rosalie strode into the room wearing a bright blue top with white pants, her beautiful blonde hair swinging freely around her shoulders I realized she looked just how I wished I felt: pretty, strong . . . carefree. "Bella, how are you feeling?" she asked anxiously as she perched on the side of the bed.

"OK, I guess, "I lied.

"Bella, I can see how weak you are. Tell me the truth," she insisted.

I closed my eyes and licked my dry lips then admitted, "Horrible. I feel horrible."

When I opened my eyes, I saw the look of concern on her face and wondered if she would be happy when I died and she could have my baby all to herself. _Geez, Bella, quit being so maudlin._

"Is there anything I can get you?"

"No. Nothing seems to help really. I just want to sleep." I closed my eyes hoping she would get the hint and hit the road.

Just then Carlisle walked in. "Hello, Bella," he called out as he stepped over to the bed and set his medical bag on the nightstand. Rosalie moved off of the bed so Carlisle could get close enough to take a look at me. "How is the nausea?"

"Better . . . until I eat. Esme tried to get me to eat toast, but it wouldn't go down, so she brought me a protein shake. I drank most of it, but it just came back up. I feel like . . . something is just not right."

"I see that," he observed as he took out his stethoscope and listened to my heart. He took my pulse and my blood pressure then got up to look at the IV machine to say, "I'm afraid that you aren't absorbing anything you eat or drink. For some reason, your body is rejecting everything we try to give you."

"Why? These babies need nutrition . . . what will happen if they don't get what they need?"

"They will also get weaker. That's why we have to keep trying . . . I need to think of something that will . . . "

Then Rosalie spoke up. "What if this baby just isn't getting what it wants? This baby is half vampire . . . maybe it's . . . _thirsty_?"

I stared at her, trying to understand what she was asking when Carlisle said, "Maybe. I never thought of that."

"Thought of what?" I asked. _They couldn't be thinking what I thought they were thinking . . . could they? _I turned my attention back to their conversation to see if I was understanding correctly.

Rosalie was saying, "We have what we need in storage for Bella . . . we could use that."

"But how to administer it? It needs it now. If not, I'm going to have to take it."

"Then, maybe she could just . . . drink it."

My eyes grew wide as I realized she _was_ talking about blood. _Oh my God . . ._ _drink it_? I blurted out, "You are suggesting that I . . . _drink_ blood?"

"If that's what this baby needs . . . "

Carlisle stopped Rosalie by putting his hand up then saying to me, "Bella, she may have a point. This baby is rejecting what we feed it because it's not what it needs. And it would be the quickest way to get it there . . . "

Rosalie jumped in by saying, "I know you might think it's disgusting, but if it's for the baby, don't you think you could at least try it?" I was taken aback at the look in her eyes. I had a feeling she would force it down my throat if I didn't agree to it.

_Could I do it? Could I really drink blood? Just the smell of it usually brought me to my knees . . . how would I get it down without puking it back up? _"I . . . just don't . . . I don't know . . . " I stammered.

Carlisle took my hand and said softly, "Bella, you don't have to do this. We can try it if you are willing, but if not, we can either give it intravenously or just go ahead and deliver the baby and feed it after it is born."

"Is that safe?" Rose asked anxiously. "Has the baby had enough time to develop? I thought it needed a few more days . . . "

Carlisle cut her off with a menacing look and she stopped and stepped back with a nod. "Bella, this is _your_ baby, and it is up to you."

How I wished Edward were here beside me, helping me to make these decisions. "Where is Edward?" I asked weakly.

"Rosalie, go find Edward and tell him I want him here now," Carlisle ordered. She nodded and left the room quickly to do his bidding. "Now that's she's gone, tell me, have you felt any pain? Is this baby putting any pressure on you?"

I nodded, my eyes suddenly filling with tears. "Yes. I'm so worried about Jacob's baby. I can't take the chance of losing it."

"I understand. May I examine you?"

I nodded again, then tried to relax as he pulled back the covers and gently lifted my shirt as I pulled my sweatpants down just a little. The bump that was Edward's baby was getting bigger almost by the minute, Carlisle observed as his hand brushed over it. "This baby is growing faster. We may not have much more time, Bella."

Just then, Edward came into the room, followed by Rosalie, and he asked, "Is everything alright? What's happening?"

Carlisle pulled the covers over me then filled him in quickly as Edward looked down at me. I tried hard to read his expression, but he was always so guarded these days, I never knew exactly what he was thinking. He nodded as Carlisle finished then he asked me, "What do you want to do, Bella?"

"I don't know. I guess I can try to . . . drink it . . . if that's what the baby needs."

Rosalie was out the door in a flash, and I would sure she would be back soon with a nice, cool, refreshing glass of blood for me to sip. I ridiculously pictured it with a little umbrella in it. Edward sat on the edge of the bed and took my hand. "Bella, you don't have to do this. Let Carlisle take it now."

I shook my head gently as I answered, "This baby needs more time. I want to give it more time to be ready."

It wasn't long until Rosalie returned and handed me a plastic cup with a straw in it. It was cold . . . maybe that would make it go down easier. "Just try not to think about what it is. Think of it as . . . tomato juice," she suggested.

_That's great . . . I hate tomato juice._ "You can also hold you nose while you drink. It will shut off your sense of taste," Carlisle added.

I nodded then with my eyes closed, I took a deep breath, held my nose and put the straw to my mouth. _Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it_ . . . I chanted to myself in my head. I finally took a sip and tried my best not to gag . . . but it didn't work. My gag reflex kicked it back out and as the blood flew out of my mouth, my eyes opened to watch in horror as I sprayed red droplets all over the bright white, feather-down duvet.

"Bella!" Rosalie cried out in disgust as I coughed. "You didn't even try!"

"Rose! That's enough," Carlisle scolded.

Edward quickly took the cup from my hand and set it on the nightstand as Carlisle quickly held up the basin just in time to catch my vomit. "Get her a glass of water," he ordered Rosalie and she stalked off to the bathroom to do as he asked.

Then Carlisle handed me a washcloth to wipe my mouth and as soon as Rosalie returned with my water, he instructed me to rinse my mouth with it and then spit into the basin. Once I felt better, I drank a little of the water then fell back into the pillows as Edward pulled the duvet off of the bed.

"I'm sorry . . . I'm so, so sorry," I cried, feeling like such a failure because I couldn't do what my baby needed me to do. Tears streamed down my face and into my ears as I lay there feeling so inadequate. Maybe I wasn't cut out to be a mother . . . but I guess it was a little late now.

"Carlisle, just get this thing out of her, now. I can't stand to see what it's doing to her," Edward ordered.

"No! It's not ready," Rosalie cried out.

"Shut up, Rose!" Edward spit at her. "She wouldn't be suffering like this if it weren't for you and your selfishness! She was ready to have Carlisle remove this thing until you opened your mouth and insisted she give it a chance to live. You could care less whether Bella lives or dies, as long as you have your chance to hold that baby." I was rather shocked at his outburst. I didn't think he really cared that strongly anymore.

Rosalie glared at him, determined not to back down when Carlisle interrupted with, "That's enough. I won't have my patient upset anymore."

With a huff, Rosalie turned and stalked from the room as Edward turned to say, "I'm sorry, but you know I'm right."

Carlisle nodded then looked down at me. "Bella, rest now, and we'll talk again in a little bit, OK?"

I nodded as he left then I turned to Edward. For just a moment, I felt I could see a little of the old Edward looking down at me. There was a softness in his face as his hand gently ran across my forehead, brushing the hair from my eyes. I waited, wanting so badly to hear him say he loved me . . . that everything would be alright . . . but it never came. He stepped back, picked up the duvet and left the room, leaving me alone once again.

Esme came in later, along with Alice who helped me change my clothes while Esme put clean sheets on the bed. Once I was settled back into the bed, Carlisle walked in with a bag of blood. He informed me that he would give it to me intravenously and that it would get to the baby, only it would take a little longer.

I turned my head away as he hooked it up as now even the sight of it made me want to gag. Once he was through, he left me with a smile and told me he would be back to check on me soon.

Esme left with him, taking the dirty linens with her, and Alice politely told me to get some rest and that everything would be alright.

"Do you know that for sure? Can you see it?" I asked.

Alice shook her head slowly as she answered, "I can't see anything. I have a feeling it's because of Jacob's baby. You know I can't see anything around the wolves," she reminded me bluntly.

I forgot about that. _Damnit._ I would feel so much better if I knew that she had seen something . . . anything! I had heard the disdain in Alice's voice as she said, "_Jacob's baby_." I knew she was hurt most besides Edward at my betrayal. We had been so close, like sisters, and lately, she avoided me at all costs.

I guess that's why I was surprised to hear Alice ask me, "Why, Bella? Why did you sleep with . . . _him_? How could you do that to Edward?" _And to me? _I heard the silent implication.

How could I answer her? I decided on the truth. "I didn't plan it, Alice. I was restless that night for some reason . . . I couldn't sleep. And, suddenly, Jacob appeared in the yard outside my window. I hadn't seen him for weeks . . . and I felt so guilty at being the reason he left. I was confused about my feelings for him, ever since that day on the mountain when he kissed me and made me feel those things for him that I had been trying so hard to stuff down, deep inside. When he crawled inside my window, soaking wet from the rain, and looking so lost . . . I don't know. He wasn't himself at all. After going wolf all those weeks, it was like he was still thinking like the wolf . . . I don't know how to describe it. Anyway, we didn't really talk. He hugged me then before I knew what was happening, he kissed me, and . . . it just happened." I stopped for a moment as flashes of that night zipped through my mind and then words just started tumbling from my mouth, "It was amazing really . . . almost like a dream. Our bodies fit together so perfectly . . . we were like one person . . . sharing something so special. Both of us were virgins, but neither of us was scared or nervous . . . it was . . . " I stopped then as I looked up at her face and realized I had been talking out loud.

Shame filled me immediately as I stuttered, "I'm so . . . sorry, Alice. I shouldn't have . . ."

"No, Bella, it's alright. I understand."

"You do? Because I don't. Edward was completely forgotten in that moment. I still don't understand how I let that happen."

Alice perched on the side of the bed to say, "I knew right before the wedding . . . I could tell you were wavering. My vision of you becoming a vampire had disappeared. I didn't know why, though. I just hoped that after the wedding, things would get back on track. But the vision never returned."

"But you never saw me becoming pregnant?"

With a shake of her head, Alice answered, "No, I didn't."

We were very quiet for a moment then I broke the silence by saying, "I miss you, Alice. I'm so sorry for hurting you. I never meant to hurt any of you, least of all Edward. You have to believe that."

Alice quietly contemplated my statement before saying, "I believe you didn't mean to hurt him, but you did . . . deeply. Trust is something that is earned, and once it is gone, it's very hard to get it back. Seeing you spend all your time with Jacob is not helping you earn that trust back, Bella."

I closed my eyes as I nodded then I opened them to look at her and say, "I know, I understand that, but . . . Jacob is the father of one of my babies, and right now, I feel he's the only one that really cares if I live or die. It's hard to stay away from that."

Alice offered no comment as she stood and moved to the door. But before she walked from the room, she turned to say, "I miss you, too, Bella, but . . . I can tell you've already made your choice whether you realize it or not. And it's not Edward." And with that, she stepped out and closed the door behind her.

I heard the door click shut as I closed my eyes and tried hard to swallow the tears that were threatening once again. I heard what she didn't say, _If you don't choose Edward, I am done with you._ I guess it didn't matter to her that Edward left me . . . that he couldn't stand to be around me long enough to even TRY to work things out.

As I laid there and reflected back on the friendship between Alice and me, I realized that everything always had to be Alice's way. She threw me parties I never wanted, she bought me clothes I never wore . . . even my wedding was completely not what I would have had at all. I mean, she was sweet and very nice . . . she didn't try to be controlling . . . it was just her nature I guess. But she never tried to get to know the real me. Thinking back, I couldn't ever remember a time where we sat up late at night and shared things about ourselves . . . I don't remember her ever asking me about my life growing up, or living in Phoenix, or later about how I dealt with all those months of being alone when they left me. All those emails I sent her that she never answered . . . a true friend wouldn't have done that. A true friend would have answered, no matter what.

Again I felt so tired, so sick, so weak, so . . . _alone._ I glanced over to the nightstand to my cell phone and fought the urge to call Jacob. If he knew what I was going through, he would be here in a second, holding me in his arms and making me feel . . . _stop it, Bella. You can't keep using him that way. You made the choices that brought you here, so you need to suck it up and deal with it on your own for once._

I finally closed my eyes and gave into the emotional and physical exhaustion that I felt and escaped into sleep.

_A/N: This chapter turned out to be a long one, so I split it into two . . . so next chapter continues in Bella's POV. I'm so glad you all are enjoying this story! Stay tuned . . . the baby is on the way!_


	22. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER 21**

**Bella POV:**

A constant buzzing sound finally forced my eyes open. I ran a hand over my face in the dark then realized it was my cell phone buzzing. I had put it on vibrate. I reached over and opened it to mumble, "Hello?"

"Bella! Oh my God, I was so worried when you didn't pick up the first eleven times I called," Jake practically yelled into the phone.

"You called me eleven times? Why?"

"You were supposed to call me and let me know how you were doing. When I didn't hear from you, I got worried. Seth came to see me and told me you weren't doing so hot. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired. What time is it?"

"Um, it's 12:30 in the morning. Sorry, but I got back from patrol and I knew I wouldn't sleep until I heard your voice."

I sighed and relaxed back into my pillows as I said, "I fell asleep. I'm just so tired." I just realized I had been sleeping on and off now for almost 10 hours! _Wow._

"Bella, I hate not being able to see you. You sound so weak. You're not keeping anything from me, are you?"

I swallowed hard and willed myself not to tell him. I didn't want to keep leaning on him . . . I needed to be strong. But all my strength was gone and I was scared and so tired of being alone. "I'm scared, Jake. I'm so scared," I got out before the rush of tears took over and I couldn't talk.

"Bella, honey, talk to me. Please talk to me and tell me what the hell is going on," Jacob begged.

I hiccupped and tried hard to stop crying. I grabbed the box of Kleenex and blew my nose then said, "I'm sorry, Jake. I'm so sorry."

"You're freaking me out, here, Bells. I am one second from phasing and running over there. Talk to me!"

"Pl-please don't. I'm OK. It's just . . . getting to me . . . I'm feeling a little overwhelmed," I sniffed. I blew my nose quickly again before going on, "See, today, Carlisle told me that the baby isn't getting what it needs and it's keeping my body from absorbing what I need . . . the fluids, the protein shake, nothing I try seems to help. So, Rosalie thought to try blood . . . "

"Are you fucking with me? She wanted you to . . . "

"Drink it, yes. Carlisle thought since the baby is half vampire, that maybe that is what it needs. So, I tried and . . . God, it was awful! I gagged and spit it all over and . . . "

"Damnit, Bells! I can't believe they made you do that! What the hell . . . "

"Jake, Carlisle told me I didn't have to, but I wanted to try, for the baby. Now he has a bag of it hooked up to me to feed the baby, but he said it would take longer to get to it."

Jacob was quiet for a moment, working through what I told him, and I knew fighting the urge to come to me. I was fighting that urge, too. Suddenly I wanted him here more than I wanted anything, just for him to hold me in his strong arms, everyone else be damned. "So, what is the plan? Is he going to take this thing or what?" he finally asked evenly.

"I don't know. I think he's going to re-evaluate in the morning."

"What about . . . our baby?"

"That's why I'm so scared. This baby is stretching for room . . . I can feel it. I am so afraid for our baby."

"Then have Carlisle take it out . . . now, as soon as possible. Bella, please don't wait and let our baby die." I could hear the desperation in his voice and it pierced me like a knife in the heart. But I felt the same.

"I won't, I promise, Jake. I will not lose our baby," I told him with determination.

"Bella," he said so softly, "I love you so much, and I love our baby . . . this is killing me, you have to know that."

"I know. I love you, too," I admitted, new tears flowing down my cheeks. _I need you, Jacob, God how I need you!_

We stayed on the phone, neither of us saying a word, yet there was so much flowing between us. I could feel his love for me coming through the line and I took it and held onto it, hoping it would make me strong enough to go through with the decision I knew now had to be made.

"Bells, I . . . "

"I know, Jake. Me, too. I have to go. I promise I will call you in the morning when I know exactly what is going to happen."

"If I don't hear from you by nine, I will be there in person by nine fifteen," he told me and I smiled. I believed that.

"OK. Good night, Jake. Thanks for calling me. It really helped."

"Yeah, for me, too." We finally hung up and I held the phone to my chest over my heart. Something had changed tonight . . . something I had been fighting for so long and could no longer hold back. I finally realized that I loved Jacob with my whole heart and wanted to be with him more than I have ever wanted anything. I wondered now if I would ever get that chance.

I slept restlessly on and off as the baby was moving and stretching and causing me some discomfort. Suddenly, around three, I felt a violent kick into my ribs and then pain as it gave way. "Help!" I called out. I had no idea if anyone was around, but I was in so much pain and very afraid for Jacob's baby, so I kept calling out until Emmett rushed in.

"Bella? What's wrong?" he asked anxiously.

I was having a hard time catching my breath, but managed to get out, "I need . . . Carlisle. NOW!"

Nodding, he turned to go then I shouted, "Wait!" I held out my phone and added, "Call . . . Jake. Please?"

Out of all of the Cullens, Emmett was the most understanding when it came to Jake. I wasn't sure why, but I knew I could trust him to call Jacob.

Taking the phone, he said, "Alright. Stay calm, I'll get Carlisle."

"Th-thanks."

Emmett rushed out of the room calling for Carlisle as the baby again moved violently inside me. I felt like it was trying to claw it's way out. I prayed that Jacob's baby would be safe. I couldn't stand the though of losing it.

Finally, Carlisle appeared. "Bella? Tell me what's happening."

I tried to fill him in quickly as I was having more difficulty breathing and it was hard to get the words out.

"Alright, Bella, just lay back and rest. It sounds like you have a broken rib. We need to get you to the OR and deliver this baby."

I cried out in pain again just as Edward came in. "Is she alright?" he asked as he rushed to my side.

"This baby has decided it's time to be delivered," Carlisle answered. "I'm heading to the OR to make sure everything is ready. Will you help me get her there?"

"Yes, of course." Edward threw the covers back and scooped me into his arms while Carlisle grabbed the IV pole.

We made our way quickly down the hall to the operating room and found that Esme was already there making preparations. Edward placed me gently on the table as Carlisle parked the IV pole next to the bed then walked over to Esme. She nodded to whatever he asked her then she was at my side asking Edward to step out while she helped me into a hospital gown.

As soon as I was ready, Edward returned to my side, just as Carlisle stepped up with a tray of syringes and explained, "Alright, Bella, I am going to give you a light sedative just to relax you. You should feel it work pretty quickly." He squirted the contents of the syringe into my IV line then said, "I am also going to give you a few shots of local anesthesia so you won't feel the incision. You will feel a few pokes, alright?"

I nodded and could already feel the sedative kicking in, which was good because I hated needles about as much as I hated blood. I did feel a few pokes on my stomach and then Carlisle smiled at me and said, "Good job, Bella. Now relax while I quickly scrub and then we'll proceed."

I nodded as he turned to leave the room then I looked up at Edward and admitted softly, "I'm scared."

"It will be alright. Carlisle will take good care of you," he assured me with a small smile.

I closed my eyes and tried hard to rest until I heard Edward say softly, ""Bella . . . I'm sorry for the way I behaved the last time we talked. And for disappearing for those days without telling you. It was wrong of me to do that to you."

I opened my eyes to look at him, but said nothing.

"I just don't understand how we went from being so in love and so happy to . . . this in such a short time. I'm just so . . . lost."

Seeing the heartbreak in his eyes and hearing it in his voice, was too much for me to deal with right now. I squeezed my eyes shut and whispered, "Me, too, Edward."

He was quiet for a moment then as I opened my eyes again, he said, "I did see Tanya while I was gone . . . just to talk, nothing else. I want you to know that. I just needed to seek some advice outside of this house. The family is . . . well, too close to the situation."

"I understand, but I wish you could have talked to me instead."

He didn't have a chance to answer as Carlisle came back into the room wearing a blue surgical gown and cap, and rubber gloves on his hands.

Rosalie followed, dressed in a yellow gown like Esme was now wearing, pushing a clear plastic box on a trolley. I wondered at first what it was then it dawned on me this was for the baby. This was really happening . . . soon I would see my baby! Esme stepped over to hand Edward a yellow gown and a pair of gloves and instructed him to put them on quickly, which he did.

I looked over to Edward, who was now standing near my head and said, "Can I hold your hand?"

"Of course," he replied as he took my hand in his gloved one. I could see in his eyes he still cared for me, but it was . . . different somehow. "Everything will be alright now," he tried to assure me. I wished I could believe him.

Esme pushed a small table of instruments over to Carlisle who looked at me and said, "Bella, please lay back and relax. This will go better if your muscles aren't tensed. Once I begin, this should go pretty quickly." Then he looked at Edward and said, "Edward, pay attention. I may need some assistance."

I closed my eyes and felt a little pressure on my stomach. I tried hard not to think of it as a knife cutting through my skin. After a few minutes, I heard Edward gasp and I looked over at him. I gagged a little as I saw red blood spattered on his yellow gown. "What? Is it the baby?"

Edward turned his back to me as he helped Carlisle and when he didn't answer I started to panic as I couldn't see anything that was happening. I closed my eyes and started praying that everything would be OK. Finally I tried again to find out what was happening. "I don't hear anything. Shouldn't she be crying or something? Is she breathing?" I asked anxiously.

"Carlisle is suctioning her nose and mouth," Edward reported. "She's trying."

I held my breath as I waited in agony until finally Carlisle appeared in front of me and held up this tiny being so that I could see her. She was still covered in blood, but she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. "Here's your daughter, Bella. She's breathing even though she's not crying. Esme will get her cleaned up while I finish with you."

"OK," I said, tears streaming down my face. I looked at my little girl for only a few seconds then she was gone. As hard as I tried to fight it, the sedative was making me more sleepy than I wanted to be right now . . . I felt myself slipping away . . . and then . . . nothing.

When I opened my eyes again, I was in bed, back in my room, and Jacob was sitting in the chair by the bed with his head in his hands. My lips and throat were very dry, and I had a hard time getting out, "Jake?"

His head popped up when he heard me. "Bella. How are you feeling?" he asked anxiously.

"Thirsty," I said as I tried to lick my lips.

"Oh, yeah. Be right back." He immediately jumped up from the chair to go to the bathroom and soon returned with a cup of water. Sitting down on the bed next to me, he put his arm under my shoulders to help me sit up to drink. "Here," he said softly as he held the cup to my lips.

I took several drinks then nodded to let him know I was done. "Thanks."

He set it on the nightstand beside the bed as I laid back against the pillows then told me softly, "Carlisle said he could give you something for the pain when you woke up. Are you hurting?"

"Not really. I suppose I will when I move around. How long have I been out?"

"About three hours." Jacob smiled at me as he tenderly brushed a lock of my hair from my face and hooked it behind my ear. "I'm so glad you're alright."

"What about the baby? Did Carlisle tell you anything? Is our baby OK?"

"He thinks so, but he needs you to watch for any cramping or bleeding and let him know right away. He said something about doing another ultrasound sometime at the end of the week. He wanted me to get him when you woke up so he could look you over."

My hand instinctively covered my belly where our baby was still growing. I hoped that now this baby would be safe, and in a few months, Jake and I would get to see it and hold it. Which made me ask, "Have you seen her? My baby?"

Jake shook his head. "No. She's still in the other room. Emmett called me and by the time I got here, you were in surgery, so I waited here for you. When Emmett and Esme brought you back, I told them I would sit with you so Esme could help with the baby."

"Is she . . . going to make it?"

"I'm not sure. They really didn't tell me very much. I'll go get Carlisle now and you can ask him yourself, OK?"

"Will you? I can't stand not knowing."

"Sure, sure," he said with a smile as he leaned forward to put a kiss on my forehead then he added, "Be right back."

I watched him walk out the door and hoped with all my heart that he brought back good news. I only got to see her for a second . . . I never even got to hold her. Then a smile crossed my lips as I thought, _I have a daughter. _I hadn't even thought of a name! Edward and I rarely ever talked about the baby, let alone a name for her. I guess I better put some thought into that pretty quickly.

After what seemed like hours, but I'm sure was really just a few minutes, Carlisle walked in alone and asked, "How are you feeling? Any pain or cramping?"

"No, not right now. Still fuzzy from the drugs, I guess," I answered.

He nodded as he took my pulse and blood pressure then he lifted my gown to look at the incision.

"Um, where's Edward?" I seem to be asking that a lot lately.

"He's with the baby. He seems very . . . taken with her."

"Really?" I was very surprised to hear that.

"Yes, he hasn't left the room since she was born." _Wow . . . I didn't see that coming._ _I was so afraid he would want nothing to do with her._

"Is she alright? Will she . . . live?"

"Right now she is holding her own. It's too early to say more than that, I'm afraid."

As Carlisle pulled my gown back down into place, he called out for Jacob to come into the room. Once he was at my bedside, Carlisle explained to both of us, "After I removed the baby from Bella, I quickly took a look around to see if it had done any internal damage to her, other than the broken rib. As far as I can tell, everything looks fine."

I felt Jacob take my hand in his and give it a squeeze as Carlisle went on, "But, Bella, I am putting you on complete bed rest for now, just in case there was some damage done to the other baby that I couldn't detect with the naked eye. I need you to let me know right away if you have any cramping or bleeding, alright? No leaving the bed on your own. You will have to use a bedpan instead of the bathroom for right now."

Seeing my grimace at the word 'bedpan', Carlisle smiled. "Sorry. It's just for a day or two until we can make sure this baby is going to be alright."

"I'll be good, I promise," I said to Carlisle then I asked, "Can I see my baby?" I could see that he wanted to say yes, but he was hesitant. "I only saw her for a few seconds . . . please?"

"Alright, but I won't let you walk there."

"I can help with that," Jacob offered with a grin.

I shot him a look then couldn't help but smile at him.

Carlisle relented and said, "Alright. Jacob can carry you there, but I will only let you stay for a short time. You need your rest, too, Bella."

"Thank you so much, Carlisle. For everything." He smiled and patted my arm then turned and left the room.

Jacob looked down at me with a smile. "So, you ready to go?"

"Yes." I threw the covers off and hooked my hands around his neck as his slid under me to easily pick me up and hold me in his strong arms. It was exactly what I had been longing for . . . to be in his arms, and it felt so good. _How could that be? Shouldn't this baby be bringing me closer to Edward instead of Jacob?_ I winced a bit when he picked me up and he quickly apologized. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"

"It's my rib." I realized that I was wrapped very tightly around the chest.

Jacob shifted me a little so I was more comfortable. "You'll have to grab the IV pole," he reminded me.

Instead, I touched Jake on the cheek and said softly, "You are really something . . . you know that?"

"Me?" he smiled. "Yeah, right. Must be the drugs talking."

"No, really, you are. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I'm just sorry it's taken me so long to realize it."

Our eyes locked for a moment and I could feel so much pass between us. "Bells," Jacob whispered as his face came close to mine, his nose running along my cheek, I knew taking in my scent. Then his lips brushed my cheek as he pulled back to look at me.

"I know that now is not the time," I started, "but, I have so much I want to say to you . . . so much I need you to know." Then I kissed him, softly on the lips, and said, "Later, OK?"

Never breaking eye contact, he nodded then breathed, "Yeah, OK."

I reached out to grab the IV pole then Jacob began walking slowly to the door. As he carried me to see my daughter, I thought how my timing always seemed to suck. But I needed to start being honest with myself. I wanted to be with Jacob. I needed to be with him. I still loved Edward, but it was becoming less and less . . . more what you might feel for a brother or other family member. Maybe it was him pulling away from me that made me see what I had been missing all this time . . . what I really wanted all along was . . . Jacob.

Jake stopped at the door to the room and asked Carlisle, "Where should I put her?"

"Here, set her here in the rocking chair," Esme answered as she put a pillow on the seat of the chair. _Where had that chair come from?_ I wondered. _Alice._ I knew that she was busily trying to set up a nursery. I didn't see her anywhere, so I assumed she was probably going full force to finish it.

Jacob carefully set me down into this beautiful, brown antique rocking chair that was sitting beside the clear plastic crate that held my tiny baby. As soon as I was settled, I stared in awe at her: she was lying on her back, her arms and legs laid out to the side, and she had wires and tubes taped to her. I smiled as I noticed the soft brown hair that covered her small head.

"I know it looks a little scary," Carlisle explained, "but the tube is for oxygen, and the other wires are hooked to the monitor so I can keep an eye on her vitals."

I nodded then asked, "Can I hold her?"

"I wish you could, but right now, I think it's best for her to stay still. You can certainly touch her though," he answered. "She needs to feel your touch."

I finally looked over to Edward, who was sitting on a stool beside the crate, his finger running gently over our daughter's arm as he gazed lovingly at her.

I touched him on the shoulder and smiled, "Hey."

Edward tore his eyes away from her long enough to ask, "How are you?"

"I'm alright. She's so tiny," I said in awe.

"Yes, but Carlisle assures me she will keep growing at a rapid rate, so by next week at this time, who knows what she'll look like."

I smiled at him in wonder. He really _was _taken with her. You could see it in his eyes . . . it was like no one else existed in the room but our baby. I glanced away long enough to notice that Jacob had slipped out. I guess he would feel a little out of place here.

I finally reached out to touch my baby for the first time. As my finger lightly ran along her arm, I was amazed at how soft her skin was. She looked so tiny and fragile. I hoped she had the strength to make it. Looking back to Edward, I said softly, "I was thinking about names . . . what do you think about Carly? After Carlisle? Without him, she or I might not be here."

Pulling his gaze from the baby to look at me, Edward said with his crooked smile, "I like it. Thank you for that. It will mean a lot to him."

I met his smile then said, "And as a middle name . . . maybe Rose? She was the one that convinced us all to give this little one a chance to live." Even if she did do it for purely selfish reasons, Carly wouldn't be here with us now if she hadn't insisted. I owed her for that.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Carly Rose Cullen."

Smiling his approval, Edward said, "I like it very much. But, I think we should add something from you, too. You were the one that had to suffer through all this for her to be here with us."

"But, Isabella is such a mouthful," I started when he interrupted with, "Yes, but how about your middle name?" I stopped to think about that then said, "Carly Rose Marie Cullen."

I could see by his smile, he liked it. I was surprised by him taking my hand and giving it a squeeze before he called Carlisle, Rose and Esme over and told them the baby's full name, and for a vampire who had lived centuries, Carlisle seemed really taken aback.

"Thank you, that is . . . it's very nice," Carlisle stammered, which was so not like him. Esme beamed as she held his arm. "I'm very touched by this honor."

I glanced over to Rosalie, who was gazing adoringly at my baby. She, too, had been very surprised and touched at us including her. I knew she was wishing with all her heart that this was her baby, and I suddenly felt very sorry for her. I had never really wanted to get pregnant in the first place, and now I have two babies while she has none. Life certainly wasn't fair to her.

I sat back and stared at my child, wondering how long she would be with us. Looking at her now, you would never know she wasn't a normal human baby, fighting for her life. But she wasn't normal, and I wondered how soon we would see those differences come to light.

_A/N: OK, so first thing you're probably wondering is, why the name change for the baby? I HATE the name Reneesme! I remember the first time I read it and tried to pronouce it, I hated it, and the nickname "Nessie?" Horrible. So, I went with the middle name of Carly . . . much nicer and easier to type and pronouce!_

_Second, no imprinting on the baby for our hero, Jacob. I hate imprinting in general, and I especially hated having a great guy like Jacob imprint on a baby. Stupid. So, I have kind of shifted that adoration of the baby to Edward, but it is not an imprint or anything gross like that. Edward is just experiencing an extreme love bond with a child he never expected to have._

_Let me know what you think! Much more to come . . . _


	23. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER 22**

**Jacob POV:**

After setting Bella down into the rocking chair, I took a moment to stare at the little being inside the clear plastic box. She was very tiny, with wires snaking out of her everywhere, but she looked like a regular baby to me. It was hard to imagine something so small and helpless being such a threat.

I turned my gaze from the baby to Edward, and was shocked at what I saw. All this time, Bella kept telling me how she felt that Edward hated this baby, and he didn't want it to survive, and now . . . he was completely enraptured. The way he touched her, and ignored everything around him . . . it was like this baby was the only thing in the room . . . or in his life. It reminded me a little of imprinting. Not in a gross, _this is my mate for life_, kind of way, but just how everything else disappeared for him . . .

After one more look at Bella, I slipped out of the room, feeling like I really had no place there. This was a time for Bella to get to know her daughter without any other distraction.

As I left the house, I thought back to what she said to me right before I carried her into that room. I had seen something different in her eyes . . . more emotion, more . . . _love_? _Could it be? _She had been rather cryptic with her words, but I felt like something had changed between us, starting with that phone call last night. She had been so upset, and I could almost feel how much she wanted me to be with her . . . it was all I could do not to phase and run to her right then. But today, telling me that she had so much she wanted to say to me, and then the way she looked into my eyes before she kissed me . . . I was too afraid to hope that my dream might finally be coming true. _Could she want to be with me instead of_ _him_?

I checked in with Leah as soon as I phased, who was patrolling with Jared and Quil. _"Bella had the baby . . . it's a girl."_

_"A girl what?" _Leah joked badly.

_"Ha, ha. She looks like a baby to me, but then what do I know? She's really small and hooked up to oxygen and stuff . . . Carlisle is still not sure she'll make it," _I reported_._

_"How's Bella?" _Quil asked.

_"OK. Tired and sore, but she already looks a lot better than the last time I saw her."_

_"So now what?" _Leah wanted to know.

_"I think we still wait and see. The baby is definitely not a threat right now. She weighs like maybe 4 pounds. I think we have some time."_

_"OK, you're the boss."_

_"I'm heading home to work in the garage if you need me." _I turned toward home and phased out just before I got there. Just as I finished pulling my shorts on, Paul came up behind me, no doubt on his way to see my sister.

"Hey, Paul. What's up?" I asked, trying my best to sound friendly. I hadn't forgotten what I told him the other day . . . we had to find a way to get along for Rachel's sake.

"Not much," he answered suspiciously. "You?"

"I just came from Bella's . . . she had the baby. It's a girl."

Paul stopped walking and asked, "They expect it to live?"

I stopped to answer him. "I think it's still pretty risky right now. Carlisle has her hooked to oxygen and stuff . . . she only weighs maybe 4 pounds."

"So what's the plan? We still wait?"

"For now, yeah. I'm heading in to talk to Dad to see what he thinks."

Paul nodded yet again, and even though he said nothing more, I could see some anger and skepticism in his eyes. He still didn't trust me.

We walked the short distance to the house in silence and when I opened the front door to walk inside, he followed. "Anyone home?" I called out wondering where everyone was.

"I just got out of the shower," Rachel called. "Be out in a sec."

I glanced over at Paul and begged, "Please do not stand there picturing my sister naked. I'm trying so hard to be nice to you."

That actually made him laugh, something Paul did very rarely. "You want something to drink?"

"Sure, sure. Whatever's in there is fine." I sank down onto the couch and wondered where Dad was when Paul came in and handed me a can of pop. "Thanks."

"No problem."

We each opened our drinks and took a swig and then just sat there, staring at the floor, waiting for Rachel. It seems this truce would be a little awkward for awhile until we figured out some common ground.

Finally we heard her open her door and walk down the hall. "Oh, hi, baby. I didn't know you were here, too," she said to Paul before she bent down to kiss him. Of course he pulled her down onto his lap and proceeded to shove his tongue down her throat.

"So, um, Rach, do you know where Dad is? I really need to talk to him," I asked, interrupting their little make out session.

Dragging her lips away from Paul's mouth, she said, "Fishing. Quil's dad took him and Old Quil out on the lake. Why?"

"Bella had her baby . . . a girl," I told her.

"Oh," was her only reaction.

"Gee, I hope you have more to say when she has my baby. You're going to be it's aunt, you know."

"Of course I'll have more to say when your baby is born, you moron," she huffed. "This baby is different and you know it."

"I know," I sighed. "Alright, well, I guess I'll head out to the garage then and work on the bike." I shoved myself off the couch with, "Three is definitely a crowd."

Rachel smiled then turned back to Paul to plant her lips on his again. _Lucky them._

I worked for about an hour on the bike when I heard, "Hey, Jake. How ya doin?"

I glanced at Leah over my shoulder and threw out, "OK, I guess."

Plopping down into an old lawn chair, Leah replied, "Sure, I believe you. The girl you love just gave birth to a demon spawn. You're on top of the world."

I had to smile at that. Leah always had a way with words. "Yep, I'm Mr. Happy."

"Well, at least it's out of her gut away from your baby. Your baby is OK, right?"

"I think so. Carlisle wants to do another ultrasound later this week then we'll know more," I explained as I turned the wrench hard to try and get another rusted bolt off of the bike. "Bella is on total bed rest for now."

Pushing herself from the chair to sit on the floor beside me, Leah asked, "How did Edward deal with his little demon offspring? Did he stick around?"

I glanced over to say, "Yeah, he's totally in love with her." I described to her how Edward was standing guard over the baby, gently touching her.

"Wow. I thought he hated this kid."

"There!" I said as the bolt finally budged and dropped into my greasy hand. I looked at Leah with a grin then I went back to our conversation. "I think he did until he saw her and realized she's . . . real, you know? Like now, my baby is hardly even more than just a few cells joined together and it doesn't seem real to me. But I'm sure when I get to hold it for the first time, it will really hit me."

Leah's smile spread slowly across her face as she said, "Look at you, Daddy. You can't wait, can you?"

A rush of excitement passed through me as I admitted, "No, I can't. I am in love with the idea of Bella having my baby. That the two of us made another person . . . I can't wait to meet that little person." I dropped the wrench and picked up a rag to wipe my hands.

"You amaze me, Jacob." Leah reached out and ran her hand through my hair, which was a real sign of affection from her. "You really have a chance for something great here, you know? I mean, I'm not Bella's biggest fan, but . . . I kind of envy you."

I smiled at that. "Really? You envy me? Why?"

"I don't know, I guess I've been thinking that . . . I might like to have a chance at something good, too."

My eyes grew wide. "Are you saying what I think you're saying? Are you finally admitting you have _feelings_ for Embry?"

"Why are you so shocked? I have feelings, you know."

"Yeah, I know. But you swore up and down that you didn't want a _relationship_."

Leah smiled rather sheepishly and I noticed how her eyes were shining. "I know, I didn't. I'm still not sure I do, but, I really don't think I have a choice. He got to me, Jake. I don't know how, but he did and . . . I think I love him. But it scares the shit out of me!"

Smiling, I took her hand to ask, "Have you told him that yet?"

"No. I just kind of realized it last night. We were laying together on the beach after having the greatest sex we have had in a long time . . ."

I held up my hand to warn, "No details, please."

Her eyes rolled as she huffed, "Fine, you pussy. Anyway, we were laying there, looking up at the stars and he put his arms around me and just held me, and I thought how I could just lay there forever. I felt so safe and . . . so loved. And, for once, the thought of that didn't disgust me."

"Looks like my friend Leah is in looooove," I said with a grin.

"Yeah, well, don't go buying us any wedding gifts yet. I'm not ready for that."

"I know. But it's great for you to just enjoy being with someone. It's important, Leah, to have someone to love and have them love you back. You're very lucky."

Leah looked over at me and sighed, "You're never going to give up on her, are you?"

"Nope. Never."

With a small smile, Leah leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. "OK, be patient, and maybe you'll get your dream. I'll be here to support you either way."

"Thanks. Now get out of here and go tell my best friend that you love him. I'm sure it will make me want to puke just to be around him, but he deserves some happiness, and so do you."

"OK, I guess I might as well get it over with," she sighed.

I laughed and told her, "Don't make it sound like you're going to the dentist or something."

"Yeah, at least there you get a shot of Novocain before the tough part."

I stood up and then reached down to give her a hand up. "Stop it. Go find Embry."

"OK. See ya later, Jakey."

"Yep." Watching her jog out of the garage, I couldn't help but feel envious. She would be running into the arms of the guy she loved while I sat here all alone wishing I could be with Bella. _Be patient_, Leah had advised. I knew she was right, but my patience was wearing very thin right now. Especially as that conversation I had earlier with Bella kept coming to my mind. _She said we would talk later . . . how long was later?_

I worked on the bike for two more hours then had to run my patrol. When I came back, I inhaled three bowls of beef stew that Rachel left on the stove for me and two pieces of her blueberry pie. She was getting really good at baking and I was very grateful.

Dad finally came home from his day out with the Quils and sat in the kitchen with me while I ate. I told him about Bella and the baby and asked him if he had looked through the research Carlisle sent home.

"Yes, I did," he answered rather ominously.

"And?" I waited for him to go on, but I could see he was having difficulty saying what he wanted to say. That spooked me, so I asked, "You don't think we should demand that she . . . be destroyed, do you? I mean, she looks like a normal baby to me, and it would kill Bella and I couldn't do that to her."

"No, Jacob, of course I don't. I wouldn't do that to Bella. But, after I read the material you gave me, I went back to study the treaty again, and, son, I have to tell you, I am starting to agree with Sam. It is a breach of the treaty whether it was intentional or not . . ."

"You think Edward did this on purpose?" I asked. "Cause I can tell you, Dad, I was there when he found out that Bella was pregnant, and he had no idea that he could father a child."

"Regardless . . . some punishment must be handed out. If we don't do something, then the treaty is just an old parchment that means nothing."

Anger and fear for Bella started churning in my gut. This was my father, the man who raised me and loved me. I trusted him more than anyone on this earth, but right now, I wasn't just looking at my father. I was talking to William Ephraim Black, the chief of the Quileute tribe, and he could be quite stubborn when he was making a decision that affected our people. I was afraid of what he might be thinking. Finally I got up the courage to ask, "Then what kind of punishment are you talking about?"

"Well, the only course of action is banishment, but Bella being pregnant with your child at this time complicates things. So, I am going to think more on it before anything is decided."

"Dad, you can't make them leave now. It's asking Bella to choose between me and her child. I can't do that to her." Maybe because I was pretty sure I would lose . . . again.

"I understand, son. That's what makes this a hard decision."

I dropped my head into my hands with a huge sigh. I heard the front door open and close and looked up as Rachel walked into the kitchen. Must have been Paul leaving.

"Hey, Dad. How was the fishing?" she asked as she rested her hand on his shoulder.

"Not too good. I let the Quils take home the catch since it was so small." He backed his wheelchair away from the table as he said," I'm tired, kids. It's been a long day. See you in the morning."

"OK, Dad," Rachel answered. "You need any help?"

"Nope. I'm good." And with that, he left the kitchen to go to his room.

Rachel picked up my dishes from the table to put them into the sink. "So, what are you so upset about? Let me guess . . . it has something to do with Bella."

I knew she was teasing, but I wasn't in the mood for it. "Of course it does, but I don't want to talk about it."

"Oooo kaayy," Rachel returned. "Then I guess I'll head to bed, too. Good night."

"Yeah, good night." I was beat, too, but I had the need to hear Bella's voice before I went to sleep. As soon as I heard Rachel close her bedroom door, I went to the phone and dialed the number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bells, it's me. How are you feeling?"

"Sore . . . Carlisle gave me something for the pain, but not too much because of the baby. I actually ate some soup for dinner and kept it down, so I'm doing better."

"Good, I'm glad. I've been worried about you all day. How's the baby? Um, does she have a name yet?"

"Carly Rose Marie Cullen. Carlisle says she is doing better every hour that goes by."

"Carly . . . I like it."

"You should have seen Carlisle . . . he was speechless! He is very touched that we named the baby after him. You know, if it wasn't for him, neither Carly nor I might be here right now. I owe him a lot. And since Rose was the one that insisted on us giving her a chance to live, I thought Carly should have her name, too, then Edward suggested we add my middle name of Marie."

"I've been wondering, what are you going to tell Charlie?"

I heard her sigh before she said, "I don't know. I've been thinking about it all day. I guess I want to wait a little bit and make sure that Carly will . . . make it, you know? Then I'm not sure how, but I want him to know that he's a grandpa. Carly deserves to know him, and I know he would want to know her," she finished with a yawn.

Hearing Bella's yawn, I said, "I won't keep you up. I'm tired, too. I just wanted to hear your voice before I went to sleep."

"I'm glad, Jake. It's good to hear yours, too. I . . . miss you."

My heart swelled. "I miss you, too." Then I thought back to this morning and our conversation, and the way she kissed me, and I said, "Bells? About this morning, what you said to me about talking later? I get the feeling that it has something to do with you and . . . me. Is that right?"

There was a long pause before she whispered, "Yes."

"Um, how long is . . . later?"

Bella laughed softly into the phone and it made me smile. "At least a few days until I can get up and around, OK?"

"Alright. Get some sleep, and tell Junior his daddy said good night."

"Junior? You did not just call our baby, Junior."

"Well, what else can we call it? We don't know if it's a boy or a girl. So, until then, it's Junior."

Another soft laugh from her did my heart good. "OK, I'll tell Junior you said good night. Talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I'll call you tomorrow night again, same time?"

"I'd like that. Good night, Jake."

"Night, Bells." I hung up the phone with a big smile on my face. I again felt that shift between us . . . a shift toward being something more than friends. I just hoped I wasn't in for a big letdown.


	24. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER 23**

**Bella POV:**

Having a baby in the Cullen house was a first, and Carly caused quite an uproar! Alice and Esme were working hard on finishing the nursery for her . . . they even had Jasper and Emmett painting and putting together furniture. It made me sad in a way because those were things that Edward and I should have been doing, making a nursery for our baby, but I was learning that here in the Cullen house, things were never done in the conventional way.

Since I was on total bedrest for the first few days, unfortunately, I didn't get to spend much time with my new daughter. Carlisle checked in on me at least three times a day, and Esme again brought me food and news of Carly. Emmett volunteered to carry me down the hall to see Carly at least once a day, and I was very grateful to him for that. I liked to think of Emmett as the big brother I never had, and I was very glad that he had not turned his back on me like others in the family.

Thankfully, Carly showed she was quite a fighter by growing very quickly and getting stronger every day. Carlisle tried feeding her baby formula first, and she took it a little at a time, but after a couple of days, she began to spit it out, so . . . they tried giving her blood and that's when she began to improve so rapidly.

On her third day, Carlisle took her off of the oxygen, and I wanted more than anything to hold her. Edward took her first, of course, and then before handing her to me, he said to Carlisle, "Will she be alright with Bella? I mean, Bella is human . . . she won't try to . . . "

"I'm not sure, Edward," Carlisle answered. "I think we should proceed with caution just in case."

"She won't what?" I asked. "You think she might try to . . . bite me? I'm her mother!"

"Yes, but she's only half human, Bella. Her vampire side may not understand," Edward replied.

"I want to hold her," I insisted.

"Why don't you sit close to Edward and let her get used to your scent, Bella, "Carlisle suggested.

I nodded and moved my chair as close as I could to Edward and leaned toward my baby. Carly looked up at me and I smiled at her and reached out slowly to run my finger down her cheek, Edward tensing for the worst. Carly turned her head toward my finger, as if to take in the scent, then . . . nothing. "See? She knows I'm her mother."

Finally Edward relented, and I took Carly into my arms for the first time. As she gazed at me and I saw my own chocolate brown eyes looking back at me, I cried. I couldn't believe that I was a mother. That this little being who had caused such an uproar was finally here, in my arms. It was a very surreal moment.

Then I started to notice the differences in my child that made her so unique. For starters, she was born with a full set of tiny teeth, making me glad that she didn't need breast milk! She didn't cry much at all . . . in fact, she was very quiet which kind of freaked me out at first, but Carlisle assured me she was fine and I shouldn't worry. I loved the feel of her skin as it was smooth and flawless . . . almost like a china doll, but with more color.

I felt so bad that I couldn't stand to feed her. Just the sight of that dark red blood in a baby bottle made me gag, so Edward or Rose took care of it. I did help change diapers and I held her and rocked her to sleep . . . when I got the chance. I kind of felt like I had to stand in line behind Edward and Rosalie. The two of them were very protective over her . . . a little too protective.

Carlisle finally took me off of total bedrest as I had shown no signs of cramping and had no bleeding at all. My incision and broken rib were healing nicely, and I was now allowed to walk down the hall to see Carly instead of being carried. I was still sleeping in the guest room downstairs and I had a feeling that it was my permanent room now. Alice and Esme had slowly moved most of my things into this room as I needed them, and I figured as soon as I could use the stairs, I would move the rest of my stuff here. Edward had made it clear to me, not so much in words but by his actions, that our marriage was over. Since Carly was born, he spent all of his time with her, and when we were together, the only time he spoke to me was if he had something to say about the baby. It was like he had shifted all the love he had felt for me onto Carly, and now, I was just another member of the family. It was a very lonely feeling.

So, I found myself looking forward all day to crawling into bed at night and waiting for Jacob's phone call. He was once again my lifeline . . . the one thing that was keeping me afloat.

"Look, Bells, you're feeling better . . . I need to see you."

"I know, Jake . . . I want to see you, too. Tomorrow is Sunday, and I thought I would ask Carlisle about doing the ultrasound on our baby then. If that works out, I will call you with a time, OK?"

"Yeah, that would be great. Then can we spend some time together after that?"

"Yes, most definitely."

"Good. Call me first thing tomorrow."

"I promise. Good night, Jake."

"Night, Bells." I hung up the phone with a smile. I would get to see Jacob tomorrow. I couldn't wait!

Carlisle agreed that it was time for an ultrasound and we set the time for 1:00. I called Jacob and arranged for him to meet us there then I went to spend some time with Carly. Of course, Rosalie was rocking her when I walked in and she gave me a look that said I wasn't welcome. I had had enough of that. I was surprised to see that Edward wasn't here.

"Where's Edward?" I asked.

"Jasper and Emmett dragged him out of here to hunt."

"Good. I was worried about him. Has Carlisle been in today to measure her?"

"Yes, she's 10 pounds 2 ounces now and 23 inches long."

"Wow. Five days ago, she was barely 4 pounds," I said in amazement. At this rate, she would be a toddler in just a couple of months! "I'll take Carly . . . why don't you take a break?"

"I'm fine," Rosalie insisted, rather rudely.

"Rose, I would like to spend some time alone with my daughter. I appreciate everything you do for her, but she is my daughter and I have a right to sit here alone with her. Alright?"

I took in her glare, but held my ground. Finally she stood up and I took Carly from her then took her place in the rocking chair. "Thank you," I said simply as I adjusted Carly's blanket around her. "When did she eat last?"

"A couple of hours ago. She should be fine for another hour or so," she answered curtly. "I'll be back then," she threw out as she left, letting me know that she was the one that would have to feed her since I couldn't seem to handle that task.

I looked down at my daughter and felt a smile spread over my face. "Hey, pretty girl, your mama is here. Are you going to open your eyes and look at me?"

Just then her eyes opened, as if she heard me and understood. "Hello," I smiled. "Look at you. You're getting so big . . . and so pretty. Your daddy is going to have to lock you up when you get older to keep the boys away."

"You think so?" I heard from the door. I looked up to see Edward standing there, a small smile on his face.

"Yes, I do," I told him as he walked in and sat down in the chair beside me. "I'm glad they got you to leave for a little while. You look better."

Giving me his crooked smile, the one I hadn't seen in a very long time, he said, "I feel better. How is she?"

"Just fine. She was sleeping when I took her from Rose and then I asked her if she would open her eyes for me and she did. It's almost like she understood what I was asking. Can you . . . hear her?"

"Yes, I can read her mind. It's just pictures right now, no words, but it's really something to see all of us like she sees us. In fact, you can, too."

I looked up to ask curiously, "What do you mean?"

"Carly, show your mama," he said softly to Carly.

Her little hand came up to touch my face and suddenly I was seeing an image of me . . . but from lower, looking up at me, and I was singing . . . "What was that?" I exclaimed as Carly removed her hand and it disappeared.

"Her memories. It's how she communicates."

"Oh my God," I breathed in awe. "That was amazing."

"Yes, it is," Edward agreed as he brushed his knuckle gently down Carly's cheek.

"How does she doe that?"

"It's like my reading minds, or Alice seeing the future . . . it's her gift."

I smiled down at Carly again as I said to Edward, "I want you to know how happy it makes me to see you with her. I was so afraid that you might not want anything to do with her. When I was pregnant . . . "

Immediately his smile disappeared as he interjected, "Bella, I'm so sorry for how I behaved then. I was in shock, I think, and upset with myself for putting you through all that. I really believed that she . . . well, Carly isn't what I thought she would be. She is so . . . beautiful and I can't believe that I wanted to . . . "

"Hey, it's OK. She never has to know that. All she knows is that she has a daddy that adores her and will love her and protect her. That's all us girls really need in a dad."

Edward smiled as he lightly ran his palm over Carly's soft, fuzzy head. It seemed that he couldn't stop touching her in some way. "Well, I do adore her, and I would give my life for hers. She is . . . amazing, Bella. Thank you so much for keeping her safe."

We sat there quietly adoring our new daughter until she began what I would call fussing, but was more like a mewing. Edward took her and I watched in amazement as he changed her diaper like he'd been doing it all his life then Rose came in with a bottle for her. Edward took the bottle from Rosalie and sat in the rocking chair to feed Carly. I figured that was my cue to leave and get ready for my ultrasound.

"Carlisle would like me to go to the hospital with him for an ultrasound today," I announced to Edward. I waited for a response, but he was too busy gazing at Carly taking her bottle. "So, I will be gone for a little while if that's alright with you."

Finally he realized I was talking and looked up to say, "Oh, of course. Take all the time you need." Then he turned back to Carly and I felt completely forgotten.

"Alright. See you later," I said to no one, really, then I turned and left the room.

A short time later, Carlise came to my room and knocked, letting me know he was ready to go. On the way to the hospital, I asked him all the questions I had concerning Carly. He assured me that she was doing surprisingly well, and that he was keeping a close eye on her development and recording everything. He realized with what little research he found on the subject that he needed to keep data on her for future reference.

When we arrived at the hospital, Jacob was already there, pacing outside the front door. Carlisle parked and before I could open the car door, Jacob was there hauling me out of the car and against his massive chest. "Oh my God, Bells. It seems like years since I've seen you," he said longingly into my ear.

"Me, too," was all I could get out.

Finally letting me go with a grin, Jacob took my hand to follow Carlisle into the hospital and down the hallway to the exam room. I knew the drill well by now, and was ready when Carlisle coated my middle with the gel. Jacob and I focused our eyes on the screen and waited for Carlisle to finish taking measurements then declare that the baby looked just fine. We let out our collective breaths and I felt Jacob put a light kiss on my head as he squeezed my hand and whispered, "Thank God."

"The baby is right on target for a due date of March 31st," Carlisle explained, and then went on to say, "But you've been through a lot the last couple of weeks, Bella, and you are going to have to work hard to get your strength back up. You need to continue with the prenatal vitamins and get back to a healthy eating regimen. You are recovering well from the surgery, but I want you to take it easy for at least another week or so, alright?"

I nodded and assured him I would. I would do everything I could to make sure this baby was healthy and delivered safely.

"One more thing," Carlisle said, "Here is a picture of your baby to take with you." He held out a piece of paper to me and as I took it, I felt a smile spread across my face. I looked down at a printout of what we had just seen on the computer screen, and there it was, _our baby_.

"Jake, look," I said as I held out the picture in awe. I glanced up at him and could see the same big smile on his face.

"Wow, Bells. It's just . . . _wow_."

I handed the picture to Jacob so I could clean the gel off of me and adjust my clothes. Once I was cleaned up, we all left the room and Carlisle excused himself to do some work in his office. "Please take it easy today, Bella. I'll see you at home."

"I will. Thank you, Carlisle," I said quickly before he turned and walked away. I could see Carlisle wasn't too happy with me spending time alone with Jacob, but I couldn't help it. I needed to be out of that house for awhile . . . I felt it was suffocating me, and turning me into someone that I hated. I had that selfish need to be with someone who made me feel loved . . . and that someone was Jacob. I turned to him with a smile and stated with relief, "Our baby is OK."

Jacob enveloped me into a hug as he admitted, "I've been so worried about both of you."

We finally made our way down the hall and out to the parking lot where I happily found myself standing in front of my trusty red truck! "Jake! You brought my truck?"

"Yep. I know how much you miss it." Dangling the keys in front of me, he asked enticingly, "Want to drive?"

I was still recovering from a broken rib and surgery, but I wanted to drive that truck more than anything. "Uh, yeah," I answered, snatching the keys from his hand. After Jake helped me up into the driver's seat, he jogged around to jump inside and smile at me as I started the old engine and put it gear. "Oh wow. This feels great." And it did. It was like a little bit of the Old Bella was coming back to life. That Bella who was free to do what she wanted, when she wanted, and with whomever she wanted to be with. That Bella had no heartbreaking choices to make . . . she had no idea how good she had it.

I turned from the parking lot with a small wince at the pull on my ribs and headed west. Jake grinned at me, "La Push?" I just nodded with a smile and set my eyes to the road. I knew he would want to have that talk I promised him and where better than La Push?

I drove straight to First Beach and parked the truck. "Are you sure you're up to a walk on the beach?" Jake asked with concern.

"No, not a walk, but I think I can make it to our spot." _Our spot_ . . . that log on the beach where we had so many of our most important talks. It seemed like the place to be for this one.

"OK, but if you get too tired, you let me know and I'll carry you," he offered with a wolfy grin.

"I'll remember that," I assured him with an eye roll and a smile.

Making our way slowly down the beach, I noticed it was a rather quiet day here for late summer, but I'm sure that the Washington weather had something to do with that. It was cool for late August, only in the sixties, and gray, but no rain. As usual, I hadn't thought to bring a jacket, but then I guess I didn't have to worry about that with Jacob around. He was like having your own personal space heater.

When we reached our spot, I sat down carefully on the fallen log and then Jake plopped down beside me. "You OK?" he asked scooting closer so I could feel the heat of his body.

"Yes, I'm fine. A little tired, but glad to be out of that house."

The two of us sat there quietly for a moment or so, just looking out at the waves rolling in. Since moving to Washington from Phoenix, I found it very calming to be near the water. I let my body relax and then I took a deep breath of the salty, wet air and turned to Jacob. Wanting to ease into this conversation, I asked him, "When do you start school?"

"This week, on Wednesday," he answered. "But it feels so wrong to be going back to school. I mean, I'm going to be a dad soon."

"No it's not wrong, Jacob. You need to graduate, not only for yourself, but for the baby. What are you going to do if someday Junior comes to you and says he wants to quit school. You'll tell him that he has to finish and he'll come back with _'But you quit._' You don't want that."

Jacob rewarded me with his signature grin. "Oh, good job, Bells . . . using future guilt to make me go. Man, you're going to be good at this mom stuff."

"I don't know about that," I huffed as he laughed.

Then his arm came around my shoulders and he pulled me close. "Sure you will."

"Well, I'm not so far."

"It's only been a week. Give yourself a little more time before you come down so hard on yourself," he retorted. "How is she, by the way?"

"Fine . . . growing fast. She's already over 10 pounds."

"Wow!"

"Yeah. Once they started to feed her blood, she took off."

"They?"

"Edward and Rose. I just can't . . . I can't feed her a bottle of blood. It still gags me to look at it. What a great mom, huh? I can't even feed my own baby."

"Are you kidding? I feel like I'm going to puke just hearing you talk about it."

I smiled and shook my head at him. "Thanks, but I think for my own child I should be able to push through some of those things."

"Like I said, Bells, give yourself some time. Just because you can't feed her a bottle of blood doesn't make you a bad mom. I don't know too many humans who could. Hell, I don't know any! You can still be there to love her and hold her and change diapers and give baths and . . . whatever else you do for a baby."

I sat back and just stared at him for a moment.

"What?" he asked suspiciously.

"Sometimes you amaze me, Jacob Black. Are you sure you're only 17? Because you sound so wise, old man." His laughter at that warmed my heart. I had really missed just spending time with Jacob. "Oh, and get this . . . she has a gift."

"A gift?"

"Yeah, you know like how Edward can read minds? She put her little hand on my face and all of a sudden I saw myself, but not like in a mirror, it was from lower, looking up at me, and I was singing softly. Carly was showing me a memory of me . . . her memory!"

"Really? That's amazing."

"Yeah, it is," I smiled. "She is amazing." Then I let my head fall onto his shoulder and he squeezed me a little closer. We were quiet for a minute or two before Jacob broke the silence. "Bella, I have been thinking so much about you and our baby and . . . us," he said cautiously. "I want the three of us to have a future together . . . to be a real family."

OK, so he had been patient long enough. I took a deep breath and sat up to face him. He looked so nervous . . . I could see how much courage it took for him just to say what he wanted and how much it was killing him waiting for my answer. I wished I could give him the answer he was looking for. "I've had a lot of time to think over the last couple of weeks, and . . . I think . . . I want that, too, but . . . "

"But? But what?" I could see the excitement in his face as he shouted, "I knew it! I could hear it in your voice, and the way you looked at me and kissed me the day you had Carly . . . I knew something was different. You love me, Bella, I know you do."

His hand came up to caress my cheek as I said, "Yes, I do, but that doesn't mean . . . "

"Yes, it does, damnit! If you love me, like I think you do, then it means that we should be together. Period," Jacob insisted angrily.

"If only it were that easy, Jake! I have Carly to think of now. She's so small, and I need to spend time with her to bond with her. Because of Rose and Edward, I'm afraid of her not knowing I'm her mother."

Then it was quiet . . . too quiet. I expected Jacob to explode at that and yell at me, but instead he pushed himself off of the log to stand a few steps away from me. I was now staring at his strong back, only his shoulders were slumped a little as he hung his head. I could handle the yelling and screaming . . . not this.

I finally forced myself off of the log and stepped over to touch his back lightly with my hand. "Jacob?"

"No, Bella. No, not this time." Jacob turned to face me and in a second his hands were on my upper arms and his lips were crushing down on mine. I could feel his anger and frustration at me wrapped up with all the love and lust he felt for me in that kiss. It was meant to be punishing, yet it excited me more than I had been in months. As his lips ravaged my mouth, I pawed at his t-shirt, fisting my hands into it as I clung to him. I did love him, more than I had ever loved anyone, and I needed him . . .

Suddenly, he pushed me away and I saw him wipe the back of his hand over his mouth as he turned his back to me again. "Damnit, Bella. DAMNIT! You drive me so fucking crazy!" He stood there with his hands on his hips, as I stayed put and tried to collect my emotions that were now scattered all over like the pebbles on the sand.

Finally he spun around to say, "I won't let you go this time. I should have fought harder before and not let you marry him, but I didn't and I'm not making that mistake again." I watched as he closed the gap between us to tenderly take my arms in his hands this time. "Bella, I don't have to tell you how I feel about you . . . you already know. I've told you over and over. And even though I can feel it when I kiss you, I need to hear it from you. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me the honest to God truth how you feel about me."

As I gazed into his eyes, I thought again how there was no holding back with Jacob. He had loved me for so long, even when I treated him so badly, and it was still there shining in his eyes for me and all the world to see. He deserved to be loved like that . . . to be able to see in my eyes all the love I had inside for him. I knew I was in love with him, I _wanted_ to be in love with him. I didn't want to hold back any longer.

"I love you, Jacob Black," I finally admitted, my voice shaking with emotion. "I tried not to, and I see now how stupid that was. You are the kindest, most loyal person I have ever known." Tears were running down my cheeks as the words poured from my lips. "From the first day we worked in the garage together on those junky motorcycles, I knew that you were something really special, but I had no idea what our friendship would turn into. You held me together when I wanted more than anything to fall apart . . . you loved me when I hated myself. You are warm and funny and so sexy and yet very fierce when protecting me. You are everything I want, Jake, everything I need and I love you so very much . . . " my voice trailed away as the tears took over. I was sobbing now as I fell into Jacob's arms.

"Oh, baby . . . it's OK. Shhh . . . " he crooned as he held me close and whispered in my ear for a few minutes until I could gain control again.

"I'm sorry . . . I guess I've been holding that in for way too long," I finally hiccupped with a small smile as I attempted to wipe my eyes. I watched in awe as Jacob stepped back and tugged his t-shirt over his head and held it out to me.

"Here, use this. It's pretty wet already," he said with a lop-sided smile.

"Thanks." I returned his smile as I took the shirt and wiped my face with it. Holding it there for just a moment, I took in his scent before lowering it and looking up at him. His bright smile went straight to my heart and moved me in a way I had never felt before. I dropped his shirt and reached up to take his face in my hands to bring him closer. "Jake," I breathed as I focused on his lips before I kissed him, softly at first then with more intensity as I let go and just felt all of the love I had for him bubble up inside me. I melted into him as he took me into his arms and kissed me back in the way I had been longing for every night for too long now.

We finally broke apart for some much needed air and I pushed gently on his chest to give myself some breathing room. The heat radiating from him was so intoxicating . . . I needed to think, I needed to tell him . . . "Jacob, I do love you, I really do, but . . . "

"No buts, Bella. Whatever it is, we can work it out. Now, today." I could see the determination in his eyes as he took my hand and led me over to sit back down on the log. True to his word, he was going to fight for me. "Now, tell me."

"Do you remember that fight we had in the car when you took me home from Dad's?" Again he nodded. "You were right, Jacob. You were so right. I never should have married Edward. And . . . I did know it, after that night we spent together. I felt it, like you did. You and I fit together so perfectly, like we were meant to be. But it scared the hell out of me . . . because I thought I had everything figured out, you know? I was going to marry Edward, and live out eternity as a vampire. I was sure that's what I wanted, so . . . I went ahead with the wedding. And I think now how all of this could have been avoided if I had just trusted my heart. It was screaming at me to run to you . . . to stay with you, and I just ignored it . . . and I am so, so sorry for that. I have hurt both you and Edward over and over so many times, and I hate the person I've become."

Bella, I . . . "

"Wait, I'm not done." Jacob smiled and nodded, so I went on, "I liked the girl who hung around the garage with you, and laughed with you and Embry and Quil. I know I was still hurting from Edward leaving, but, when I was around you, that hurt would disappear and I felt more myself . . . the self before Edward. If I had been honest with myself then, I would have seen that I was falling in love with you, but I was so caught up in this romance of Edward. I see now that it was all such a fantasy, but . . . I wish I could go back and change things, and of course, I can't, so for now, I will just apologize one final time and we'll move on, OK?"

"Yes, please," Jacob begged with a smile. I knew how much he hated to hear me say _I'm sorry._

Leaning forward, I kissed him softly on the lips to show him I meant what I said. Then I pulled away to say, "So now, since I made the choices I did, we have this huge mess that we're in. I finally realize how much I love you, and I want to be with you, Jake, I really do. I think even Edward realizes it, but . . . "

"But?"

"I just don't know how to be with both you and Carly." I crossed my hands over my belly to add, "And when this baby comes, I obviously don't want to have it at the Cullen house, and I can't bring Carly to La Push . . . what can I do?"

"So, even though you love me and want to be with me, you are going to stay with him for Carly? Is that it?"

"No . . . yes . . . oh, I don't know what to do," I sighed as I dropped my head.

I felt his hand under my chin, forcing my head up as he said, "No, Bella. There has to be a way for us to work this out. Carly needs you, I understand that. But I need you and so does our baby. And Bella, I'm sorry, but I can't let you raise our baby in that house of leeches. This baby is not only important to me, but to my whole tribe . . . "

"I understand that, Jacob, I do!" Now I was getting angry. Like he thought I didn't realize that? "Damnit, I know that your baby can't be raised there, and Carly can't live in La Push! This whole thing is so fucking horrible. Somebody has to lose here, Jake, and it can't be the kids, so it has to be me! This is all my fault and I have to be the one to sacrifice . . . "

"It's not ALL your fault, Bella. I had something to do with it, too, and so did Edward. You don't have to sacrifice anything."

I pushed my hair from my face as I mumbled, "I am so sick of trying to come up with a solution that will please everyone. I just don't think there is one." I let my head fall into my hands as I let out a huge breath. I just didn't have the strength to do this anymore. There was no solution. We would all live long and miserable lives because of the choices I made.

I felt Jacob put his arm around my shoulder and draw me to his chest. "Bella, there is a solution, there has to be. And we are not leaving here until we find one." I smiled against his hot skin as I realized how hard he was determined to fight for me and our baby.

I pushed myself up to ask him, "OK, so what do we do?"

"Do you think that he would give you a divorce? I mean, would he be willing to do that?"

"I don't know," I answered. I knew that things between Edward and I had definitely changed, and I also knew I didn't want to be married to him anymore. But I wasn't real sure of his feelings about our situation. "We haven't really discussed it."

"But, do you want that?"

I looked into Jacob's eyes and could see the hope there. "Yes, I do. Like I said, I shouldn't have married him in the first place, and it's not fair to him to stay married knowing how I feel about you. And it's not fair to me. I want to be with you, Jacob. I do."

That made Jacob smile. "Good. I'm very glad to hear that." He leaned forward and touched his lips to mine in a soft kiss then urged, "Talk to him, Bella. That's the first step. Then maybe you can work out some kind of agreement for Carly. It's not like you live across the country like your mother does."

"Yeah, that's true," I admitted. "I guess I could move back home with Dad . . ."

"Sure you could. I know how much he misses you," Jacob said. "And I promise that as soon as I can, I will find a job and get us a place of our own." _A place of our own? Is he talking marriage? _"Look, I know it won't be easy, but I think it could work out."

"Yeah, maybe," I muttered as I thought about it. Maybe it was the best solution for all of us. I knew I couldn't stay in that house much longer. I was feeling myself slipping away the more time I spent alone in my room there. I needed to be away from there to find the courage and strength I needed to assert myself as Carly's mother. And I needed to spend time with Jacob. I couldn't deny that any longer. I loved him and wanted to be with him. I had to do what I needed to do to be happy so I could be a better mother to Carly and to this baby I still carried inside.

I looked over at Jacob and smiled. "Maybe this is a solution that will work."

"I know it will because we will make it work." Bending forward until his forehead touched mine, Jacob said softly, "Bella, I love you so much. You and Junior here are my family now . . . and Carly, too, can be a part of that, if that's possible."

I felt tears spring to my eyes again as I heard him include Carly in our little family. "I hope so, yeah."

"Good. Then that's settled," Jake said as he straightened to announce, "From this day forward, Isabella Marie Swan, you and I are bound together and no one will ever separate us again. Is that clear?"

"Yes," I smiled. "Very clear."

And with that, we sealed our bond with a kiss . . . a wonderful kiss that was full of love and trust and loyalty and . . . a sense of family. Sitting there wrapped in Jacob's strong arms, his lips moving with mine, I finally felt what I had been longing for . . . I was home.


	25. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER 24**

**Jacob POV:**

After our talk, Bella and I walked hand in hand down the beach back toward where we left the truck. As we strolled by a sand castle left on the beach, I said, "I guess that's something I'll have to work on, my sand castle building skills."

Bella looked at me curiously as she said, "What? Why?"

"So when you and me and Junior come to the beach, I can teach him how to build a sand castle."

Smiling, Bella replied, "Him? I thought you wanted this baby to be a girl?"

"I thought I did, but I guess I really don't care. As long as it's healthy."

"Yeah, me, too."

"I guess I could always tag along with Quil and Claire. Although, Embry tells me every time Quil gets part of the castle built, Claire knocks it down with a wicked giggle. He assures me it's quite entertaining."

Bella laughed at that and stopped to look out at the water. I stepped behind her to wrap my arms around her and rest my chin on her head. As we stood there, I felt such a sense of peace come over me. Like a huge weight had just been lifted off of my shoulders. _Bella loved me . . . Bella loved me! _I felt like shouting it at the top of my lungs!

"It's funny to think about us being parents so young," Bella observed. "I never imagined having a baby at 18, let alone two."

"I know. A dad at 18 . . . not something I ever expected, that's for sure. But I don't regret it, Bella. I want you to know that."

Bella turned in my arms to look up at me and say, "Thank you, Jake. Thank you for fighting for me . . . for making me realize that we can do this. I feel so much stronger when I'm with you."

"Good. Then stay with me." Pulling her close, I kissed her soundly and loved the feeling of Bella melting into my body. It was something I had wished for every day for way too long now. It was amazing for me to realize it was really coming true.

Standing there, alone on the beach, kissing the girl of my dreams, was so surreal to me. I never wanted it to end, but it did when Bella pulled away to say, "I'm sorry, Jake, but I think I should get back now. I'm feeling kind of tired and sore. I don't want to over do it."

"Sure, sure. Let's go."

Picking her up into my arms, I carried her the rest of the way to the truck, where I took the keys from her and helped her inside before climbing behind the wheel. Bella was rather quiet on the drive home, and I pathetically hoped she wasn't changing her mind about our plan. After parking the truck in the drive of the Cullen house, I shut off the engine then asked Bella, "Are you sure you're OK with all of this?"

I was very relieved when Bella turned and said with a smile, "Yes, I'm sure. I'll talk to Edward right away and let you know how it goes."

"How soon do you think you'll move back to Charlie's?"

"I'm not sure. I think I should stay with Carly for the next few weeks while she is so young so we can bond, you know? And I also have to find a way to tell Charlie that he already has a granddaughter. I'm having a tough time with that one."

"Hey, I'll help you there, OK?" I offered. "We'll think of some way to tell him." Then I asked, "When am I going to officially meet Carly?"

Bella's smile disappeared as she mumbled, "I don't know. Soon, I hope. Edward and Rosalie stand guard over her all the time, but . . . I would like you to see her. Let's give it a couple more days, OK?"

"Sure, sure, boss. Whenever you say it's OK."

That finally got a smile out of Bella as she reached for the door handle. "Thanks, Jake. For understanding."

"Excuse me, but aren't you forgetting something?" I asked as I reached out and stopped her from getting out of the truck.

Bella glanced around to see what she was forgetting then I chuckled and pulled her close enough to get my arms around her. "From now on, we don't leave each other without a kiss, OK?"

I loved the smile that spread across those lips that I was waiting to kiss. "OK, deal," Bella said softly as she leaned into me. Our lips met and I felt my heart actually skip a beat. I had always thought that was a myth until this very moment, but it picked up the pace again as Bella's lips moved with mine. We made out for a little while then Bella began to pull away so I reluctantly let her go.

"Call me later?" she asked.

"Yep, same time tonight."

"Good." Bella slid off of the seat then turned back to say, "I love you, Jake."

My heart swelled at her words. "I love you, too," I returned with a smile.

Bella actually grinned before she closed the door and walked slowly to the front door of the house. Once there, she opened it, waved at me then stepped inside, closing it behind her. It was the happiest I had seen her in a very long time.

Suddenly I felt so light . . . so free! Bella finally admitted that she loves me and wants to be with me! It was my dream coming true and I vowed to never let it slip away.

I drove the truck home then parked it in the drive next to the Rabbit and made my way inside the house. As I put my hand in my pocket to stuff my keys in there, I touched a piece of paper and pulled out the ultrasound picture of our baby. I forgot that I put it there when Bella handed it to me at the hospital. As I stood there staring at it, Dad wheeled into the room, asking, "Hello, son. Everything OK?"

"Uh, yeah. Everything is . . . great. Really great." I looked over at him with a smile as I handed him the picture. "Take a look at your grandchild."

Dad accepted the piece of paper and gazed at it for a moment before he said, "Wow, that's really something."

"I know. Carlisle says Bella's due date is around March 31st."

"Hmm. Bella is healing from her ordeal?" he asked as he handed the picture back to me.

"Yes, she's still a little weak, and Carlisle told her to take it easy another week or so, but she's doing much better."

"Good." With that he turned his chair toward the living room and wheeled into his spot in front of the TV.

I followed him and perched on the edge of the couch to say, "Dad, Bella and I just talked. I haven't told you, but I could tell that Bella's feelings about me were changing . . . I knew she was getting closer to wanting to be with me, and today, she told me that she wants to leave Edward and be with me! She told me she knew that night we spent together before the wedding she loved me, and that she shouldn't have married him, but she was scared. Anyway, she's asking him for a divorce, and after a few weeks, she is going to move back to Charlie's."

"And what about the child?"

"I don't know, she was going to try and work out some custody agreement with him."

"I see. And what about Charlie? What is she going to tell him?"

"I told her I would help her with that. Why all the questions? I feel like I'm on trial here or something. Aren't you happy for me? I finally have everything I ever wanted. Bella loves me and wants to be a family with me and our baby."

"Of course I'm happy for you, Jacob, but I am concerned, too. I don't think all that will be as easy as you make it sound." I could see his concern for me in his eyes . . . and something else, but I wasn't sure what it was.

"Look, I know it won't be easy, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes."

Just then, I heard the front door open and close and Rachel breezed into the room. "Hey. Sorry I'm late with dinner. Paul and I were helping his grandma in the garden. I'll get cleaned up and get it started."

"That's alright, honey. Take your time . . . we won't starve," Dad assured her.

"Everything OK here?" she asked. "Looks like I'm interrupting something."

"Everything is great here," I told her with a smile. "Take a look at your niece or nephew," I told her as I held the ultrasound picture out to her.

"Wow, look at that! That's awesome, Jake. Is the baby OK?"

"Yes, just fine. Carlisle gave us a due date of March 31st."

Rachel actually smiled at me as she handed the picture back to me. "Good. I know how worried you have been about the baby."

"And that's not the best part. Bella and I talked today, and she is going to ask Edward for a divorce. She loves me and wants to be with me. Isnt' that great?"

Rachel was quiet as she glanced over at Dad. "What?" I asked suspiciously.

"Seems kind of sudden, doesn't it?" Rachel asked. "She has his baby, what a few days ago, and now she wants to divorce him and be with you?"

"We have been talking for awhile now, Rach. This didn't all happen just today," I explained as patiently as I could. "I knew that night we spent together how she felt . . . it just took her a little longer to work things through. But she did, and we talked today and she told me how much she loves me."

"Uh-huh," she grunted. "Well, I hope she follows through with it, for your sake."

"Why do you have to be like that, Rach? Why do you hate her so much? I am trying to be patient with Paul, even though it is killing me. Why can't you do the same with Bella?"

"Because she has hurt you over and over and over and you just keep taking it! I can't stand to see the way she treats you."

"Well, that's my choice, isn't it? I love her more than my own life and I would do anything to be with her. Now that I know she loves me just as much, I will fight for her and I will not let ANYONE get in my way."

"Oh, I won't stand in your way, Jacob, believe me. But I don't have to like it."

"You're right, you don't," I said as I stood up to face her. "Just like I don't like Paul, even though I pretend to for your benefit." And with that, I stomped off to my room and slammed the door like a 2-year old.

_Damnit, I don't need her shit! Bella loves me, and we WILL be a family. I will see to that._

I stayed in my room, refusing to come out for dinner even though my stomach was rumbling with hunger. I knew it looked like I was throwing a fit like a toddler, but I just didn't want to sit at the table between them and have to deal with their disapproving looks. Why couldn't anyone in this family ever just be happy for me? I put up with so much shit from the two of them over being the Alpha and doing my duty to the tribe and putting up with Rachel's asshole of a boyfriend . . . you think they could just for once be happy that I have something good happening in my life.

After a couple of hours of sulking, I finally made my way out of my room to find Dad in front of the TV and Rachel closed in her room. I went to the fridge and pulled out some meat and cheese to make a few sandwiches then grabbed a can of pop and headed out to the garage to work on the Harley. I really needed to get moving on this bike if I was going to have it ready to sell before the baby came. Once I started school, I wouldn't have as much time to work on it.

I settled into the garage, ate my sandwiches and worked on the bike for on hour or so until I heard, "Hey, Jake," from the door.

I glanced over at Leah and smiled, "Hey, Beta."

"What's going on?"

"Nothing. Just working," I answered as I turned the wrench.

"I called earlier, but Rachel told me you were pouting in your room. What's that all about?"

Rachel would see it like that. "Little family disagreement, that's all."

"Oh. I thought you might want to talk about it."

I dropped the wrench and picked up a rag to wipe my hands. "Why? What do you know that you're not telling me?" Leah was not one to just show up offering to let me talk about my feelings. Something was up.

"I'm not sure. That's why I want you to tell me what's going on with you," she answered somewhat cryptically.

I threw the rag down onto the tool bench and turned back to face her. "Bella and I went for an ultrasound today. Baby is fine and due March 31st. I have a picture inside, if you want to see it."

"Huh, well, that's good, I guess."

I could see that wasn't what she was fishing for, so I went on to say, "Yes it is, and oh, yeah, she is asking Edward for a divorce so she can be with me. Apparently she has realized that she is madly in love with me and can't live without me," I finished with a grin.

Leah tilted her head as her eyes narrowed. "OK, Jake, now you're just fucking with me."

"Um, no I think you'd know if I was fucking with you."

"Stop it," she said with an eye roll. "You sound like Embry."

I had to chuckle at that then I told her, "Well, maybe, but I'm not lying. We talked today and she really does love me and she wants to leave him and be with me. Please be happy for me, because for some reason, my family can't seem to be."

Leah stared at me for a moment then a smile curled onto her lips. "I am happy for you, Jake. I told you to be patient and she would come to you. I'm happy, I really am," she assured me as she stepped over to put her arms around me.

I accepted her hug gladly, happy that at least Leah was on my side. Once she let go and stepped back though, I could see that there was still something bothering her. "So, why don't you tell me now why you're really here? What is it that you really want to know?"

Leah sighed and turned away from me to lean her back against the tool bench while she crossed her arms over her chest. "I heard some shit today, Jake, and it's not good," she began ominously. "Seth was on patrol earlier today with Quil and while they were running the eastern border, they came across Sam and Paul in human form. They seemed to be arguing over something so Seth crept closer to listen in." She stopped for a moment to look into my eyes. "All he caught was Sam saying something about 'the devil spawn' and it 'needing to be gone.' After that, they ran off into the woods."

"Did Seth follow them?"

Leah nodded, "Yeah, he sent Quil out ahead of them and he followed. They stayed human, I assume to keep Seth and Quil from hearing what was going on inside their peanut-sized brains. They went back to Sam's house and went inside. That's all I know."

"Shit!" I yelled as my fist hit the tool bench, causing Leah to jump. "What the hell could they be up to?"

"I don't know, Jake, but it can't be good. I came right here to see what you knew. Has the council made a decision yet? Mom won't tell me anything."

"Not that I know of," I told her with a shake of my head. "Although Dad was rather quiet today when I showed him the picture of the baby and told him that Bella and I were going to be together. I had a feeling there was something he wasn't telling me." I thought back to our earlier conversation about the treaty and what had to be done. "But Dad assured me that he didn't want the baby hurt. He knew it would kill Bella."

"But maybe they have decided on banishment?"

"He would have told _me_ before Sam."

Leah nodded and bit down on her thumbnail, her classic move for her when she was thinking hard about something. "Then I hate to say it, but I think this might be Sam and Paul going rogue. We better find out what the hell they are really up to."

"I agree. Let's go."


	26. Chapter 25

**CHAPTER 25**

**Bella POV:**

I heard Jacob drive off in the truck as I closed the door then smiled as I leaned back against it. Admitting to Jacob how much I really loved him felt good. It felt really good. My heart soared at the thought that our plan could really work. I wanted more than anything to be with Jacob, and I knew it wouldn't be easy. But I was determined now to make it work, and the first step would be talking to Edward. I took in a deep breath as I stepped forward to go and find him. I knew would need every once of strength I could muster to find Edward and have this talk. I walked into the living room to find Emmett and Jasper lounging on the sectional watching some kind of sports on the big screen TV. "Hey, sis. How's it going?" Emmett called.

"Good. Carlisle assures me that the baby is fine and due March 31st," I reported.

"Great, I'm happy for you," Emmett returned with a smile. "I know how worried you were."

"Yep. Uh, have you seen Edward? I need to talk to him."

Emmett glanced at Jasper as he said, "I think he's with the baby, right?"

"I'm sure he is. He never leaves her," Jasper answered in his lazy Texan drawl.

"Alright, thanks. Carry on," I told them with a smile as I walked by them on my way to the OR room where Carly was staying. As I approached the room, I could see it was dark, which was strange. I flipped on the light to see it emptied out and cleaned up. _Where was Carly?_

I turned to hurry back to the living room and asked, "Where is Carly? She's not there!"

Jasper spoke up, "They moved her up to the nursery today. Didn't Edward tell you?"

_Upstairs . . . to the nursery. As far away as she could be from me. _Instantly, I was pissed. Edward knew I wasn't supposed to be going up and down stairs yet. "No. He tells me nothing," I spit out as I headed for the stairs. I hit the steps running until a sharp pain in my ribs and incision stopped me. "Damnit," I muttered as I bent in half willing the pain to go away. I was still recovering from surgery and I had probably pushed myself too hard today with driving and walking on the beach. And of course, now would be the time my body would choose to rebel.

"Bella? Are you alright?" Emmett asked from behind me.

I fought back a wave of nausea as I got out, "No, I'm not. I'm pissed and in pain. Not a good combination."

I heard Emmett chuckle then say, "Let me help you, OK?"

Nodding, I let him put his arm around my waist to help me up the stairs. Emmett was so huge, my feet barely touched a step! Once we got to the top, I stopped, as I realized I had no idea where the nursery was.

Emmett looked down at me and seeing my frustration, pointed out softly, "This way," as he guided me to the right.

We walked slowly down the hall to the room beside Edward's. _OK, I should have guessed that._ I thanked Emmett then entered the room and stopped in awe. This former mostly empty room had been transformed into a garden with fairies and flowers and trees with little white twinkling lights . . . it was stunning! There was a unique cream-colored wrought iron crib draped in sage green and gold and the antique rocking chair was now here along with another overstuffed upholstered chair and ottoman in the same sage green with a floor lamp behind it, perfect for reading bedtime stories. There was a dresser probably stuffed with clothes and a changing table, stuffed animals, a bookshelf lined with storybooks, and a rocking horse . . . it was like a dream! And not one thing here was picked out or bought by me . . . her mother.

I finally focused on Edward, who was sitting in the upholstered chair while Rose rocked Carly in the rocker, and I asked furiously, "Did you just forget to mention that you would be moving my daughter today into a room that was as far away as possible from me?"

Emmett cleared his throat behind me and said, "Um, Rose, I think maybe we should leave these two to talk, OK?"

Rose first glanced at Edward as if to get his opinion and when he nodded, she glared at Emmett then at me. I knew she hated to give up any time at all with Carly, but she was MY child. I walked toward Rose and took Carly from her, bottle and all, and then took her place in the rocker as she stomped from the room. I smiled my thanks to Emmett, who winked back then closed the door behind them.

Trying very hard not to look at the bottle of blood I was now holding and that Carly was sucking down very hungrily, I turned my attention instead to Edward, who said smoothly, "I'm sorry I didn't say anything this morning before you left, Bella. It wasn't on purpose. I had no idea the nursery was ready. Alice and Esme suggested it after you were gone," he explained.

"Everyone here knows that I'm not supposed to be going up and down the stairs yet," I returned, not even trying to hide my anger. "Emmett had to drag me up here just now. How am I supposed to see my daughter?"

"No one is trying to keep Carly from you, Bella. I guess we just didn't think about it."

"Of course not. No one here thinks about me at all."

Edward looked at me as if I had horns growing out of my head as he asked, "What is wrong with you? Why are you suddenly acting like a spoiled child?"

My jaw dropped at his remark. "A spoiled child? Is that what you think? Edward, look around you! THIS is the room of a spoiled child. Do you realize the amount of money that was spent on this room alone? I can't even imagine how many clothes are stuffed into the dressers and closet and yet not one thing in here was chosen or bought for this child by me, her mother."

"Is that what is bothering you? You think we are spoiling Carly? She is barely a week old. How can she be spoiled?" I noticed how he completely ignored the remark about none of it being chosen by me, which was my whole point.

"Stop it, Edward. You know what I'm saying. I know that money is nothing to all of you, but I don't want Carly raised getting anything and everything she wants. And I, as her mother, would like to be included on decisions regarding my daughter. Like where she sleeps, what clothes she wears, and what toys she plays with. I feel like you all are trying your best to push me out of her life."

"And I feel like you don't really want to be involved in Carly's life. Not while you have your boyfriend and his baby," Edward snarled.

I was taken aback at that, but I guess I shouldn't have been. "My _boyfriend_? Isn't that a little juvenile for you?"

"Well, then, what would _you_ call him?"

I closed my eyes for a moment and leaned my head back against the rocker. I was really hoping we could discuss this like adults, but maybe that wasn't possible. I looked down at Carly and ran my hand gently over her fuzzy head. She had her eyes closed as her bottle was now gone, and her body felt heavy in sleep. I pulled the bottle from her mouth, set it on the small table beside the chair then turned to Edward. "I need to talk to you, Edward, but I want us to try and be civil with each other. Can we do that?"

Running his hand through his hair, he finally nodded, "I suppose we can try."

"I know that things have changed between us. I know you don't have the same feelings for me, do you?"

Edward hesitated for a moment before answering me then shook his head. "No, I don't. And you love _him_, don't you?"

I, too, hesitated for a moment then admitted softly, "Yes, I do. I'm sorry, I should have been truthful with you before the wedding, Edward. I should have told you what happened between me and Jacob and how I was feeling, but I was scared. I had known for so long what I wanted . . . I wanted to be with you and be like you. I was kind of thrown for a loop at the new feelings I had for Jacob, and . . . well, I thought I could go ahead with my plans and forget him and everything would be alright. But, of course I had to get pregnant and now . . . here we are."

Edward gazed at Carly, sleeping in my arms and said softly, "Yes, here we are."

"I love this baby, with all my heart, and I am so happy that she is alive and doing well. I don't regret her, Edward. And I can see that you don't either."

"No, I don't."

"But, I can't stay here anymore. I am so unhappy, and feel so alone . . . I hate being shut out of Carly's life and feeling so weak. And I can't have Jacob's baby here. So, I would like to stay here for a few more weeks to bond with Carly then I am moving back to my dad's house to live and . . . I hope that you and I can work out a divorce and some sort of custody agreement for Carly. I am so, so sorry for how things turned out for you and me, and I will always regret hurting you. I do still care a great deal for you Edward, but I can't be your wife any longer. I hope you understand."

Edward stood up and walked over to the wall of windows to look outside. With his back to me, I couldn't tell what he might be feeling or thinking, so I pushed myself out of the rocking chair and moved to lay Carly down in her elaborate crib. Once I saw that she was settled, I walked over to join Edward by the windows.

"Do you need your answer right now, or can I have some time to think things through?" he asked quietly.

"Of course you can have some time," I answered.

Edward looked over at me and then surprised me by running the back of his hand gently over my cheek. "I am sorry, too, Bella." I grabbed his hand before he pulled it away to turn it and place his cool palm on my warm face to relish his touch. It was the first he had touched me in so long. Then, unexpectedly, Edward leaned down to kiss me, very gently on the lips. Time seemed to stand still in that moment, but as Edward pulled away, I had the feeling he was saying goodbye. Then his cool mask slipped over his face once again, he stepped away and walked over to the crib to gaze lovingly again at Carly.

After taking a moment to recover, I said, "I'm very tired, and Carlisle told me today that I need to continue to take it easy, so I think I will make myself a sandwich and then go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

Without pulling his gaze from Carly, he uttered, "Alright. Good night."

I walked slowly to the door and opened it then turned back for one more look. Edward stood at the crib, staring down at Carly and I wondered if he would stand watch there over her all night like he used to with me. I felt a small pang in my heart as I remembered all those nights . . . humming my lullaby . . . it seemed a lifetime ago now.

I slowly made my way down the stairs to the kitchen, where I put together a turkey sandwich, grabbed a carton of strawberry yogurt and a bottle of water then headed for my room. I sat in the chair to eat my sparse dinner while I watched some documentary on the Civil War on the History Channel then when I was finished, I put on some pajamas and crawled into bed read for awhile as I waited for Jacob's phone call. I knew he would want to know how my talk with Edward went, and I wasn't really sure what to tell him.

I actually dozed for a little bit then glanced at the clock when I woke up to see it was after eleven. I picked up my cell phone to see if I had any missed calls. It wasn't like Jacob to miss our phone time at ten.

I had not missed a call, so I dialed his home phone and waited for him to pick up. Instead, I heard Rachel answer rather sleepily, "Hello?"

"Oh, um, hi Rachel, it's Bella. Is Jacob there?"

"No, he's not home," she grunted angrily. "I'll tell him you called." Then she hung up. I closed the phone and sat looking at it wondering why Jacob's sister hated me so much. _Was he really not home, or did she just say that because she didn't want him to talk to me?_

I wasn't sure, but I didn't want to bother her again, so I set the phone on the nightstand, turned out the light and decided to try and get some sleep.

The next day was another tough one. After I showered, dressed, and had some breakfast, I slowly made my way up the stairs, hoping Carlisle wouldn't catch me, to the nursery to see my daughter. Rosalie and Edward were both there, as always, and when I walked in, Edward was changing Carly's diaper while Rosalie was pulling some clothes from the dresser.

"Good morning," I called out, in as cheery of a voice as I could manage. "How is my beautiful baby girl today?" I asked as I made my way to Edward.

"She's perfect," Edward cooed at her with a smile, avoiding all eye contact with me.

"She looks bigger. Has she grown more?"

"Yes. Carlisle was just here and she has gained 2 more pounds and grown another inch," Edward reported as he finished with the diaper.

I looked down at Carly and smiled at her as I tickled her belly softly. "Look at you, pretty girl, growing so big."

"I'll get her dressed now," Rose announced as she stepped over to the dressing table.

"I'll do it, Rose," I told her as I held out my hand for the clothes she had picked out.

She stood her ground for a moment, again glancing to Edward as if to see what he would say and when he gave her a slight nod, she handed me the clothes with a huff and stalked from the room.

I glanced at Edward as I slipped the shirt carefully over Carly's head. "I'm sorry, Edward. I don't mean to hurt her, but I am Carly's mother, and I want to take care of her."

"I understand, Bella. I'll talk to her."

"Thank you." I finished dressing Carly then asked, "How long ago did she eat?"

"About a half hour or so. She shouldn't be hungry again for a couple of hours," he answered rather stiffly. I guess he was still hurting from our conversation last night.

I sat down into the upholstered chair, propped my feet on the ottoman, and laid Carly lengthwise on my lap so I could smile down at her. "Hey, pretty girl. Your mama wants to spend some time with you. Is that OK?" I touched her little cheek and was surprised when she smiled at me. "Did you see that? She smiled at me!"

Edward gazed at Carly lovingly, as always, and smiled. "Yes, I did. She smiles at me all the time."

_Of course she does . . . I should have realized that_. I went on chattering at her until Edward interrupted with, "I guess I will leave you two alone for awhile. Call out if you need anything."

"We'll be fine, won't we?" I cooed to Carly. Then as Edward turned to leave I said, "Edward?" Once he turned back, I told him, "Thank you." After giving me a curt nod, he turned and left the room.

So, as usual, I was left alone, but at least I had my daughter with me this time. I talked and cooed to her then picked her up and walked her around the room, looking at all the things that were put here for her. I picked up each stuffed animal and showed it to her then we talked about the fairies on the wall and the flowers . . . at first I felt rather silly, but I wanted her to know my voice and hear how much I loved her. Carly placed her little hand on my cheek and let me see how she saw the room and the things I showed her. It was very interesting communicating this way.

As I sunk back down into the chair, I wondered if anyone had taken any pictures of Carly yet. She was growing and changing so fast . . . I wished I had a camera. Then I remembered that there was a camera on my cell phone, so I pulled it from my pocket and smiled down at Carly. "Can I take your picture? A mom should have pictures of her sweet baby to show off, shouldn't she?"

Laying her out on my legs again, I snapped a couple of pictures of her. Then I picked her up and held her close while holding the phone out to take one of us together. As I looked at the pictures I took, I smiled and then my smile faded as I realized I couldn't really show these photos to anyone. How could I explain Carly to my parents or friends?

Tucking the phone back into my pocket, I whispered to Carly, "It doesn't matter. I have you here with me, and that's what really counts."

After that, I sat in the rocking chair and hummed some of the lullaby that Edward had written for me and before long, Carly was asleep. I held her as she slept for awhile then finally laid her in her crib to let her nap.

Stepping over to the windows to look out over the forest, I could see the sun peeking out from the clouds and suddenly I wished I had a stroller to put Carly in to take her for a walk. Maybe that was something I could actually purchase for my daughter. I decided I would have to look into that.

Turning from the windows, I looked around wondering what to do with myself now. I realized that if I were a normal mom and Carly were a normal baby, there would probably be plenty to do while she slept. Laundry and cooking and cleaning . . . but none of those things needed to be done here. It was all done for me. I felt rather useless.

So I wandered over to the chair and sunk down into it while I propped my feet on the ottoman, wishing I would have brought my book with me. I had a book on pregnancy that I read each night before I went to bed, but it was on my nightstand. I was not going to make that long trek all the way downstairs to my room and back just for a book. So, instead, I took my cell phone out of my pocket and decided to call Jake.

He never called me back, so I again wondered if Rachel had even told him I called. I let the phone ring at least 10 times and no one answered. I hung up and wished for the hundredth time that Jake had a cell phone. Maybe I would spend some of my savings on one for him . . . although I was trying to keep that money for things we would need for our baby.

As I sat there thinking about that, Esme walked in with a small laundry basket full of clean clothes. "Oh, hello Bella. Is she sleeping?" she asked quietly.

"Yes. Here, I'll take those," I offered as I stood to reach out for the basket. "It will give me something to do. I feel rather useless just sitting here."

Esme nodded and let me take the basket, muttering, "Of course." Then she crept over to the crib to look down at Carly. After a moment or two, she turned and walked back to say, "She's so beautiful."

"Yes, she is," I smiled. "We're very lucky. I'm happy she is doing so well."

An awkward silence filled the room as we just stood there silently looking over at the crib. Finally, taking the laundry basket with me, I sat in the chair to fold the clothes and commented, "It's very quiet in the house today. Where is everyone?"

Esme looked a little uncomfortable trying to give me an answer to that question for some reason. "Uh, everyone is busy today . . . and I have things I need to get done, too. See you later." And with that, she left the room.

As I folded the tiny baby clothes, I felt so sad that the Cullens hated me now because of my feelings for Jacob and my betrayal of Edward. They had welcomed me with open arms from the very first time I met them and now . . . now they treated me like a leper . . . someone to be avoided at all costs. Except Emmett. For some reason, he still offered me his friendship, and I really appreciated it now more than ever.

I sighed as moved to the dresser, opening drawers, trying to figure out which clothes went where. I hated that I had hurt them all, but I couldn't take it back. I knew now that I loved Jacob, that I had always loved Jacob, and I would be with him. I just hoped they wouldn't try to turn my daughter against me.

Setting the empty laundry basket on the floor by the dresser, I moved to the closet and spent some time looking at all the precious little dresses hanging there. Alice had just as good of taste in baby clothes as she did adult clothing. There were all different sizes, I assumed allowing for her fast growth. I finally closed the closet door then chose a book of nursery rhymes from the shelf and sat down again in the chair to read through it.

I must have dozed off while I was reading. I woke to Carly fussing and just as I pushed myself from the chair to go to her, Rosalie appeared out of nowhere with a bottle for her. I turned to her and said, "Rose? Would you mind feeding Carly for me? I promised Carlisle I would do better on my eating, so I really need to go and get some lunch."

"Of course I will," she said as she gently took Carly from her crib.

"Thank you, Rose. I really do appreciate all you do for Carly."

Rosalie gave me a look that said she wasn't sure if she believed me or not, but she then changed that look to a small smile as she settled into the chair and placed the bottle into Carly's hungry mouth. "It's alright. Take as much time as you need," she said softly.

I left my baby in Rose's very capable hands and went slowly down the stairs to the kitchen to make myself some lunch. Again, I thought it strange for the house to be so quiet as I walked through the living room. Carlisle would be at the hospital, I suppose, but where was everyone else? And it was really strange for Edward to be away from Carly for so long. _Maybe they were hunting . . . _

I made a huge salad for my lunch and grabbed a carton of yogurt. I ate in my room in front of the TV again because it felt even more lonely to sit at a huge dining room table all by yourself. Once I finished eating, I tried to call Jacob again. This time Billy answered.

"Oh, hello Bella. How are you?" he asked in a friendly tone.

"I'm fine, thanks. You?"

"Oh, you know, I'm as ornery as ever."

I had to smile at that. "Is Jacob home? He was supposed to call me last night, and I haven't heard from him yet."

"No, he's been out all night. I'm not real sure what's going on. I just figured he was filling in for someone on patrol or something. I'm sure he'll be home before too long. I'll let him know you called."

"Thanks, I would really appreciate that. I've been kind of worried."

"Jacob proudly showed off the picture of the baby to us yesterday. That's really something."

_Picture? Oh the ultrasound picture! _I forgot Jacob had it. "Yeah, it is. Carlisle assured us that everything is fine with the baby, but I'm still supposed to take it easy for a few more days." I waited for a moment to see if he had anything else to say, and when he didn't I said, "Well, thanks, Billy. I'll talk to you later."

"Sure, Bella. Take care."

I hung up with a huge sigh. _What was going on with everyone? Jacob is out all night . . . everyone here is gone. Is there something going on that no one is telling me? Wouldn't be the first time._

I made my way slowly back upstairs to Carly's room to find Rose just laying Carly in her bed for a nap. She quickly excused herself from the room and so I settled myself into the chair to read my book that I remembered to bring with me this time. I hadn't read very long when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and answered quietly, "Hello?"

"Hey, Bells. I'm so sorry I didn't get a chance to call last night."

"Is everything OK? Your dad told me you were out all night."

"Yeah, I just gave Leah the night off and took her patrol. I felt kind of guilty for all the shit she's been doing for me, so I felt it was only fair. Um, how are you?"

"I'm alright. I spent all day yesterday with Carly, and I'm here with her now while she's sleeping."

"How did the talk with Edward go?"

I quickly filled him in on what we had said to each other then finished with, "I told him he could take some time to give me his answer, and so far, he as avoided being with me."

"So, he hasn't said . . . anything? I mean, do you have any idea what he's thinking?"

"No, not really."

There was a silent pause then I heard Jacob sigh. I knew he was sick and tired of waiting for me and I felt horrible again for the way I had treated him. "Look, Jake, it won't be long. I'll wait until tonight then I'll approach him again, OK?"

"Yeah, OK. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a pain in the ass, but I need to be with you, Bella."

"Me, too. I miss you so much."

"That's really good to hear." Again there was a pause, and then he said, "I don't mean to cut this short, but I just got home and I really need some sleep. I'll call you later tonight, OK?"

"Sure."

"Hey, I love you."

I couldn't contain the smile that spread over my lips as I said softly, "I love you, too." As I closed the phone and stuck it back into my pocket, I thought how lucky I was to have a guy like Jacob so in love with me. Why had it taken me so long to realize what I had? I vowed right then that I would have to work harder every day to let Jacob know how much I loved him and that I was so glad he was in my life.

I spent more time in the afternoon with Carly and later, I fed her a bottle, gave her a bath and put her to bed - the first time for that. I actually enjoyed it very much.

Edward returned just as I was leaving Carly's room and I filled him in on our day. "Where have you been all day?" I asked.

"Hunting," was his short reply.

"Oh. Well, I'm going down to my room. Unless . . . you want to talk? You know, about what we talked about last night?"

"No, I want to spend some quiet time with Carly." Then he dismissed me with a nod and moved toward Carly's crib. I once again got a faint whiff of Tanya's perfume. _So, he's seeing her again. _

"Alright then. Good night," I said to his back once again, and walked away.

As I was settling in for the night, I heard a knock on my door. "Come in," I called out, actually hoping it was Edward with an answer for me.

I was somewhat surprised to see Rosalie appear, with a smile on her face and a cup in her hand. "I was afraid you might be asleep already. I brought you a cup of tea," she told me as she approached the bed.

"Oh, wow, um . . . thanks." I tried to hide the look of shock on my face and hoped it looked more like a smile that wasn't being too forced.

Rosalie handed me the cup of tea and I took a sip. "It's not too hot, is it?" she asked anxiously.

"No, it's just right. This is very nice."

Her beautiful smile lit up her face and made me wonder what the hell was going on. _Why is she being nice to me?_

"I just want to say that I'm sorry for the way I have been behaving toward you when it comes to Carly," Rose began. "I know that you are her mother, and I shouldn't be so possessive, but I love that little baby so much, and . . . "

"I understand, Rose, really I do. I know that you never had the chance to be a mother, and I'm happy that Carly has an aunt like you to love her and take such good care of her. But, we have to find a way to compromise."

"I know, Bella. I will try harder, I promise."

I gave her a small smile and took another sip of tea to show her I appreciated her gesture. Returning the smile, she said, "Well, I'll let you get some sleep. Good night."

"Good night, and thanks for the tea."

Rosalie smiled again then left the room, closing the door quietly behind her. As I drank the tea, I wondered what caused her change of heart. Did Edward talk to her like he promised, or did she do this on her own? Whatever happened, I hoped we could find a way to get along for Carly's sake.

I settled back into the pillows to wait for Jacob's call, but suddenly I was very sleepy and could barely keep my eyes open. I managed to just set the tea cup on the nightstand before I fell back onto the pillows and blackness surrounded me.


	27. Chapter 26

**CHAPTER 26**

**Jacob POV:**

The last 24 hours had been exhausting. Leah and I had taken off right away to hunt down Sam and Paul and find out what the hell was going on with them. Seth joined us and Embry and Quil were on patrol, so I figured between the five of us, we should be able to get some answers. Of course, by the time we got to Sam's house, Sam and Paul were gone. Emily told us that Sam just said he had some things to take care of and he would be home later.

"Great, now what do we do?" Seth asked as we left the front porch to walk out into the yard.

"We hunt them down," I answered.

We split up, with Leah and Seth going after Sam and me going after Paul. Embry and Quil stayed on patrol but promised to let us know if they picked up their trail.

Knowing the best place to look for Paul would be my house, I turned and headed for home. Just as I guessed, I found him in the woods right at the edge of my back yard. I quickly phased out and pulled on my shorts then called out, "Paul! Stop! I need to talk to you."

Stopping, Paul turned around as I approached him. "What's up?" he asked innocently.

"Why don't you tell me?"

His forehead creased as his eyes narrowed into slits. "What do you want to know?"

"I heard you and Sam have been meeting on the sly along the Eastern border. Why don't you start there?"

"I have no idea what you're taking about," Paul huffed as he turned to walk toward the house.

My hand shot out and grabbed his arm to jerk him back around. "Knock it off, Paul. I am so sick and tired the "fuck you" attitude. I am your Alpha, Paul, and you will respect me, got it?"

Quickly jerking his arm from my grasp, Paul spit out, "I don't have a choice on obeying you, Jake, but I do have a choice on respecting you, and I don't. You have to earn that, and so far, I see nothing to respect."

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" I roared. A surge of anger shot through my body and the Alpha wolf inside howled and demanded I do something. I knew I couldn't put up with his insolence any longer or this would get out of hand really quickly. "On your knees, Paul," I ordered and felt some satisfaction when I saw him hit the ground with a look of hatred in his eyes knowing he had no control over the order of his Alpha.

Moving to stand over him, I ordered him to look up at me, which he again obeyed against his will. "This has to stop, Paul," I started. "I _am_ your Alpha. You're right, you have no choice but to obey me. And whether you believe me or not, I hate doing this to you. But as the Alpha of this pack, I have to know that all members will follow me and be loyal to me and the rest of their brothers AND sister. So far, you and Sam have not been very good at that. You WILL tell me now what the hell you and Sam were doing along the eastern border and what you were talking about."

"Sam and I have been running extra patrols along the border for the past few days," Paul said through his clenched teeth. I knew he was pissed as hell at me, but at this point, I didn't really care. I needed to know what was going on, and if this was the only way I could find out, then so be it. "He's been nervous since that thing was born and I guess that makes him feel like he's doing something."

"Alright, I get that, but why were you talking there in human form instead of wolves?"

"We smelled vampires . . . we knew a couple of the Cullens were close, so we phased out and hid in the bushes. We knew Quil and Seth were on patrol and we didn't want them to hear."

"Go on . . . " I told him.

"So, we waited and listened. It was Bella's husband and some chick, but not a Cullen chick. She was new . . . tall, blonde and hot for a vampire. We've had her scent here before though . . . around the time of the wedding."

_Who could that be?_ "What did they talk about?"

"He told her that the baby had been born and it was a girl and she was beautiful, blah, blah, blah. How she wasn't the monster he expected her to be. The chick didn't look very happy about that at first, then he told her that he was feeling that Bella wanted to leave him for you. That made her perk right up."

_Hmmm, so Eddie has a girlfriend that Bella knows nothing about. Interesting . . . _

Paul went on, "But she warned him about the . . . Vul, Vol, you know . . . that they wouldn't approve of the baby."

"Volturi?"

"Yeah, then she said, 'Remember what happened to my mother.' We thought that was weird."

"So then what?"

"So then, he hugs her for a minute and after, she tells him maybe he should go into hiding with the baby."

"Hiding? You mean . . . leave here with the baby?" _With Bella . . . and my baby? Over my dead body!_

"I don't know, I guess," Paul huffed.

"Well, what else did they say?"

"Nothing! She leaned in and gave him a kiss that said she'd like to fuck him, he in turn ran his hands over her ass, then she left. After a few minutes, he left, too."

_Shit. What the hell is he thinking? _I stood there running all this through my mind until I heard Paul ask, "Can I get up now?"

I turned back to say, "Oh, yeah, sorry. You can stand up now." Then I remembered what Leah had told me . . . the conversation that Seth overheard. "What did Sam mean when he said something about 'the demon spawn' and how 'it needs to be gone?' "

"Oh, so that's what got your panties in a twist. You thought me and Sam were gonna take care of the thing?" At my curt nod, Paul said, "Sam was just saying them taking the kid and disappearing . . . how it would solve our problem."

"Yeah, I guess . . . except that Bella is pregnant with my kid."

Paul sneered at me, "You done with me now?"

"No, I'm not. You know Edward can read minds. He had to know you two were there listening to him. I don't get it."

"Well, we were very quiet and he was pretty into this chick, so maybe he didn't detect us, I don't know."

I nodded and then said, "Look, Paul, I'm sorry I had to do that to you, but I need to know what is going on. I can't be a good leader and make decisions if I don't know this shit. I'm sorry you hate me, but we have to find a way to get past that and work together. I NEED you and Sam. You two are a very important part of this pack. You two are both leaders . . . the young kids look up to you. We have to find a way to resolve all this shit between us and work together. Not just for me, or for Rachel, but for the whole tribe."

Paul's eyes suddenly darted to look past me and I turned to see Sam walk up behind me with Seth and Leah. "He's right, Paul. As much as I hate to admit it, he's right." I was shocked to hear Sam say what he said.

"Paul just told me everything, Sam."

"Good. I was coming here to do just that. I'm sorry, Jake. This whole thing has taken me over and made me crazy. I know it wasn't right to go behind your back . . . hell, I would have beaten the shit out of you for doing that when I was Alpha," he added with a small smile.

"Believe me, I have been tempted," I told him.

"I get that. But you're right. We need to stick together as one pack to protect this rez and all the people on it. I'm sorry for acting like such an ass, I really am." He stuck out his hand and waited to see if I would take it.

I stared at that hand for a moment thinking what it represented . . . a united pack. As pissed as I was at both him and Paul, I knew I had to end it right here and now. I took his hand and held it as I said, "This is over. We are united, now and forever, one pack."

"One pack," Sam repeated.

I glanced over at Leah who nodded her approval at me as I let go of Sam's hand. Then I turned to Paul and offered him my hand. "Paul?"

Looking at Sam then Leah and Seth, Paul finally turned his eyes to me. I could see in those eyes that his opinion of me still wasn't the greatest, but he gave in and took my hand and shook it. "Thanks, brother," I told him. Giving me a nod, Paul then stepped back and hung his head. He was defeated, I knew, but I hoped it wouldn't last long. I needed him . . . as much as I hated to admit it. Paul was a strong warrior . . . something this pack would always need.

"OK. Let's all sit down and try to figure out what the hell is going on." They all followed me into my back yard where we sat down around the fire pit to talk. Edward was obviously up to something, and I needed to figure out a way to find out exactly what that was.

After our little 'talk' I gave Leah the night off for some much needed rest. She had been picking up a lot of slack for me lately, and I felt it was the least I could do. Besides, it gave me a chance to try and work through all I heard today. _Who was Eddie's little girlfriend, and what did she mean by 'remember what happened to my mother?' Who was her mother and what happened to her? I wonder if Bella would know . . . Bella. How could I tell her what I now knew? Maybe she already knew and didn't know how to tell me. One way or the other, I had to get to the bottom of this. There was no way I was going to let Bella and my baby just waltz out of my life . . . again._

As I dragged my butt into the house after Leah's patrol, Dad told me that Bella had called. _Shit. I missed our call last night. _

I called her right away and wondered if I should tell her about Ed's little tryst in the woods with Miss Hotty. I really didn't want to jump to conclusions and get her all upset about nothing, but I had the feeling this was something. But, when it came right down to it, I couldn't do it. I wanted to wait until I knew exactly what was going on before I said anything. She told me she was going to talk to him again tonight, so I let it go, promising myself, I would go over there and find out what the hell was going on after I got some sleep. Right now I was just too hungry and too exhausted.

After I hung up the phone, I scarfed down some leftover chili and took a five hour nap before my next patrol. As I headed out later, I wondered how on earth I could keep up this pace when school started tomorrow.

I practically crawled back to the house around midnight, and went straight to the phone to call Bella. I knew she was worried last night when I didn't call, and I didn't want her to worry another night away. Her phone rang and rang, but she didn't pick up. I waited a few minutes then tried again.

After four peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and two pieces of cherry pie, I tried Bella again. Still no answer. I hung up the phone, and had the nagging thought that maybe they all just picked up and left without so much as a goodbye. _Bella wouldn't do that, would she? What if she didn't have a choice? _

As tired as I was, I knew I was not going to rest without seeing for myself that she was still here. Re-energized from the food and the sudden rush of adrenaline, I stripped off my shorts and ran for the door to phase and head over to the Cullen house.

Minutes later, I was pounding on their front door, becoming more and more terrified as no one answered it. Finally I decided to try the knob and found it unlocked. I walked in and was greeted with complete silence. No sound from the TV, no one in the kitchen, in fact, I didn't sense anyone here at all . . . except Bella. My body instantly relaxed from the realization she didn't leave me. She was still here.

I immediately went to her room and opened the door to find her in bed . . . sound asleep. I made my way to the bed and touched her on the shoulder. "Bells? Hey, Bella, honey, it's me Jake. Wake up."

Bella just lay there, not moving at all . . . she seemed completely dead to the world, and for a moment I thought the worst. But I still detected her heart beat and she was breathing so I shook her a little harder. "Bella!" I shouted. "Wake up!"

I noticed her eyelids finally fluttered a little as I sat down on the edge of the bed and touched her face. "Hey, wake up."

"Jake? Whaterdoingere?" she slurred.

"Um, I just really needed to see you. Are you OK?"

Finally pushing her way to sit up, "Ooh, my head hurts," Bella told me as she rubbed her eyes. "What time is it?"

"It's a little after one in the morning," I answered. Then I took her face in my hands and ordered, "Bella, look at me." She complied so I asked, "Are you and the baby OK?"

"Yes, Jake, we're fine," she spit out, showing her irritation at me waking her.

"I'm sorry, but you usually don't sleep that hard."

"Yeah, I know. I feel so groggy, like I have a hangover or something," she said.

"I tried to call several times and you didn't answer."

"Really? I remember coming to bed around nine . . . Rose came in and brought me some tea, which I thought was really weird . . . next thing I know, you're shaking me and yelling at me to wake up."

"She brought you some tea? Why is that weird?" I asked.

Again she rubbed her eyes . . . I could see she was having a hard time focusing. Like she just couldn't wake up. Finally she explained, "I thought it was weird because she hates me, Jake. Well, hate is a little strong I guess, but we have been clashing over the baby. She is so possessive of Carly and hates when I try to do anything for her. She said she brought me the tea to show that she was sorry and that she would try harder to get along." Bella yawned through her last few words then threw the covers back and announced, "I have to pee."

I moved so she could get up then as she shuffled off to the bathroom, I looked over at the nightstand to see the cup sitting there, which got me to thinking . . . _Bella fell asleep right after she drank the tea and then she sleeps so hard she doesn't hear the phone, and I have to shake her hard to wake her and feels hungover. Would Rose have drugged Bella for some reason?_

Bella walked back out of the bathroom and asked sleepily, "So why are you here again?"

I exhaled as I ran my hand through my hair. Now was the time . . . I had to tell her what I knew. "Look, Bella . . . Sam and Paul overheard a conversation . . . between Edward, and . . . some chick vampire . . . "

"What did she look like?" Bella asked as she sank down onto the bed beside me.

"Uh, Paul said she was tall, blonde and hot for a vampire."

"Tanya . . . from Denali. Go on."

"Well, Edward told her that the baby had been born and after awhile she warned him that the Volturi may not approve, and she said, 'Remember what happened to my mother.' Do you know what she is talking about?"

Bella let out a ragged breath as she nodded and said, "Carlisle told me that long time ago, some vampires got it into their heads that they missed having a family, and so they . . . bit human children to make little vampire babies for themselves. You are frozen at the age you are when you are bitten, so some were just infants or toddlers . . ."

"Oh my God, that's just sick!" I exclaimed, trying to swallow the bile that was crawling up my throat at just the thought of it.

"Yeah, it was. The Volturi outlawed this practice and set the punishment at death. Tanya's mom apparently had one of these children and she was caught. They killed her and the child."

"Wow. So, what does that have to do with your baby? It's not . . . one of those children. This is a real baby."

Bella stared off toward the window for a moment before turning back to me to say, "Yeah, I don't know. I wonder how they found out about her. Did you say they already knew?"

I shrugged, "I'm not sure. All I know is what Paul overheard and told me. But Bella," I stopped to take her hand, "She warned him to take the baby and go into hiding. Did he say anything about that to you?"

Shaking her head, she quickly answered, "No, not at all."

"You wouldn't go, would you? You wouldn't . . . leave me?" I knew I sounded pathetic, but I couldn't help it.

"I wouldn't want to, no, but Carly . . . " and then her eyes grew wide, like she had just figured something out. "No . . . oh, no, no, no. He wouldn't . . . "

"What? Bella, what is it?" I asked as she jumped off the bed to run toward the door. "Bella!" I yelled after her as I got up to follow.

She made a beeline for the stairs, running as fast as she could, as I followed and then ran into the back of her when she suddenly stopped in the doorway to a room that must be a nursery for the baby.

"She's gone," I heard Bella whisper as she walked quickly to the crib. Then whipping around to look at me, she said louder, "Jake, she's gone! Carly is gone."

"OK, now don't panic, Bells. Look for a note, maybe," I told her slowly. I didn't want to think the worst . . . if they left, I knew it would be nearly impossible to find them. Carlisle had centuries worth of experience in hiding . . . if he wanted to disappear, I knew Bella would never see Carly again unless they wanted her to.

Frantically looked around, Bella went to the dresser and jerked open drawer after drawer shaking her head and mumbling, "All gone . . . her clothes, her things . . . all gone."

Bella then ran out the door and I quickly followed her into the room next door. She whipped open drawers and then ran to the closet to announce, "He's gone, too. Oh my God, Jacob . . . they're gone. They've left me . . . again. This time, with my baby." And that's when it hit her, and she crumpled to the carpet. "My baby's gone . . . my baby's gone," she chanted softly as the tears streamed down her face.

Dropping to my knees beside her, I gathered her into my arms and pulled her close. "Bells, I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry."

I sat there on the floor holding Bella while the sobs shook her body hating myself for not doing something yesterday when Paul told me of the conversation between Edward and the other vamp. _I should have warned her . . . I should have confronted him, something . . . anything. I could have stopped this and I didn't act on it quick enough. Damnit!_

After awhile, I gently nudged Bella and said softly, "We need to get out of here, OK? You can't stay here all alone. Let's get you packed and I'll take you home to Charlie's," I suggested.

Bella didn't answer, but I felt her head bob up and down against my chest, so I took her into my arms and then stood to carry her downstairs. "Jake, wait," I heard her say. "I need to go to Carly's room."

I did as she asked and walked into the room then set her on her feet. She slowly made her way over to the crib and took out a small blanket then held it to her face. I hated to see how this was killing her. I swore to myself if I ever saw that bastard again, I would kill him for the pain he was causing Bella right now. How could he do this to her?

I soon heard Bella crying, so I stepped up behind her and scooped her up into my arms again. She tucked her head under my chin as I slowly made my way down the stairs and into her bedroom to set her gently on the bed then knelt in front of her to say, "Bella? I know this is hard for you right now, but I want to pack up your stuff. Do you have a suitcase or a bag or something?" Nodding, she pointed toward the closet. "Why don't you get dressed while I pack?" I suggested.

Again she nodded then she got up to pull some sweats and a t-shirt from the dresser drawer and went into the bathroom and closed the door. I decided maybe I should call Charlie and warn him that we were coming. Picking up Bella's cell phone from the nightstand, I dialed the house number. It was still the middle of the night, but he answered on the second ring. "Sheriff Swan."

"Hey, Charlie, it's Jake."

"Jake? It's the middle of the night . . . what's wrong?"

"Uh, I'm bringing Bella home . . . to stay. And she really needs you right now."

"What? Is she OK?"

"Physically, yeah. We'll explain everything when we get there, OK?"

"Alright. I'll be here."

"Thanks." I hung up then took the suitcase out and opened it and began throwing everything I could see into the bag. I cleaned out the closet and dresser drawers, then when Bella finished in the bathroom and walked out, I went in and gathered up everything in there. It took me less than 10 minutes. "Is this everything, Bella? It doesn't seem like much."

She was sitting on the bed putting on her shoes. "There might be some stuff still upstairs. I didn't have a chance to move everything yet. But I don't care about it." Then I watched her pick up the tea cup and look at me to say, "She drugged me, didn't she? She drugged me. God, I can't believe how stupid I am."

"You're not stupid. How were to know that she would do something like that? That they would all just pick up and leave you?"

"Because, Jake . . . they did it before. But at least then he had the decency to tell me first." I watched as she set the cup back down on the nightstand then turn and pick up the baby blanket that she had left on the bed. She held it in her lap, idly running her fingers over it as I sighed and dropped my head. _To hell with her stuff. I need to get her out of here now._

"Alright, honey, I have you packed. Can I put the blanket in here, too?" I watched her rub it against her face one more time then she held it out to me. I carefully folded it and placed it inside the suitcase then zipped it shut and carried it to the door. I noticed her lap top laying on the chair and made sure to slip it inside it's case and set that beside the suitcase.

"I can't leave, Jake," Bella suddenly sobbed. "What if they come back and I'm not here? What if Carly needs me and I'm not here!"

I sunk down on the bed beside her and took her face into my hands. "Bella, listen to me. I don't think they are coming right back. I will do everything I can to help you find them, OK? But we can't do it here. We may even need your dad's help on this one. We will try to find them, but we have to go now, do you understand?"

Finally she understood and she nodded. "Yes, OK," she hiccupped, trying to control her tears. I handed her a wad of Kleenex and she blew her nose and wiped her eyes and then stared down at her hands as I gave her a moment to catch her breath. After a minute or two, I noticed her twirl her engagement ring around her finger a few times then watched in amazement as she slid it and her wedding ring off of her finger and placed them onto the nightstand before turning her eyes on me.

I could see so much pain in those eyes, and yet my heart flip-flopped at the sight of her bare finger. Even though it was wrong to be selfish at a time like this, I couldn't stop thinking how much I wanted to slide my own ring on that finger someday soon. I pulled her close and whispered, "It'll be OK, Bells. Somehow, it will be OK."

Feeling new tears on my bare shoulder, I decided it was time to get her out of here. So, I helped her up, handed her her purse, then she shuffled along beside me as I picked up her bags and we made our way toward the garage. "I hope there's at least one car left because I ran here wolf and I'm pretty sure you don't want to ride home that way."

Bella gifted me with a small smile as I opened the door that led to the garage then I heard her let out a short harsh laugh as we saw the only car in the garage was her huge black SUV. "Figures," she said. "He takes everything that's important to me, but leaves me the fucking tank."

I squeezed her to my side for a moment with a smile while she handed me the keys from her purse then I loaded the suitcase into the back and crawled behind the wheel. _This thing is gigantic compared to my Rabbit,_ I thought as I carefully maneuvered it out of the garage. No wonder she hated driving this thing. As I exited the long drive to turn onto the road that would take us to Forks, I said to Bella, "I called Charlie while you were in the bathroom and let him know we were coming. I didn't tell him anything else."

I glanced at her as she sighed, "What on earth am I going to tell my dad?"

"Maybe it's time for the truth, Bells. I know it won't be easy, but . . ."

"Yeah, I know. I have hated lying to him since day one. I just hope he doesn't have a heart attack."

I had to chuckle at that. "Well, Charlie's pretty strong, I doubt he'll have a heart attack. I just hope he believes us."

The rest of the trip was made in silence as I ran over and over in my head what we would say to Charlie. I had a feeling Bella was doing the same. Parking the beast in front of the house, I hopped out and pulled her suitcase and laptop from the back then met Bella at the front of the car and we walked up the steps to the house together. Stopping at the door, Bella turned to me with a look of fear. "I can't do this, Jake. How am I going to tell him everything?"

I set the bags down and placed my hand on her cheek. "We'll do it together. From now on, we do everything together, alright?"

I saw a small smile flicker for an instant on her face before she rested her head on my chest. I dropped a kiss onto her head then said, "Come on, let's get this over with."

Bella stepped back, took a deep breath then turned the knob and opened the door.


	28. Chapter 27

_**A/N: **I haven't had as much time lately as I would like to write, so updates are going to be a little slower . . . sorry! Hopefully, things will get back into a routine next week and I will find more time. I do have a few more chapters already written, so as soon as I do some editing, I will get them up. Thank you for taking the time to review! It always makes my day to see how many of you are reading and enjoying this story. _

**CHAPTER 27**

**Bella POV:**

Dad was waiting for us and immediately folded me into his arms as soon as I walked into the house. Of course, I lost it yet again. I wondered if this river of tears would ever end. Leading me gently over to the couch, he eased me down and sat there beside me while I tried to get a hold of myself.

I knew Dad wasn't comfortable dealing with emotional females, so I sucked it up as best I could and tried to stop crying. Jake sat down in the chair near the couch after taking my suitcase up to my room and held out the box of Kleenex. I took it with a small smile and tried to mop up while he said to Dad, "She's been though a lot, Charlie. It's quite a story and I really hope you're ready for it."

"Of course I am," he told Jake then he turned to me and added, "Bells, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

_Knife through the heart, Dad. Thanks. _"Yes, I do, and I'm sorry that I didn't before," I sighed. "I have been lying to you for so long, and I have hated every single minute of it."

Charlie's forehead creased as he looked at me in surprise. "Lying? What are you talking about?"

I glanced over at Jacob who gave me a small nod to let me know he was there to help when I needed him then I took a deep breath and turned to Dad. "I have been lying to you about Edward and his family for two years now. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. Everything I have to tell you is going to sound . . . completely unbelievable, but just know that it's all true. Billy and Jacob know all about it and can back me up. And you can't tell anyone."

Dad looked at me then Jake then back to me. "Alright, you have my undivided attention, Bells. Start talking."

So I did. I poured out everything about the Cullens and how they were "vegetarian vampires" and how there were some that were not. He gave me a look of disbelief then turned to Jacob who assured him it was true. Then I showed him the scar on my arm from James and explained how it came to be and how Edward had sucked the venom from it to save me.

"Oh my God, Bella. So that whole story about falling . . . you could have . . . " he started then I stopped him by saying, "But I didn't." I didn't tell him that I wanted to be changed. There would be another time for that.

I launched into how Edward left to protect me, and then how when I jumped off the cliff (which I forgot he never knew about and led to a whole other discussion of how stupid that was - duh!), Edward thought I killed myself, and I had to run to Italy to stop him from doing the same.

I then skirted over the whole Victoria and her newborn army adventure deciding maybe that was too much for right now, and went into how I became pregnant by both Edward and Jacob and how rare that was and how I already had Edward's baby, but was still pregnant with Jacob's. I had to admit to myself how ridiculous all of it sounded as I told it.

Dad was very quiet while I talked, Jacob adding things every now and then, and I wondered if he thought I should be committed or something. Then the tears stung my eyes again as I told him about Carly. "She's so beautiful, Dad. It's been killing me, not knowing how to tell you about her. I have wanted so badly for you to see her . . . " Suddenly, I remembered the pictures I snapped of her on my cell phone, and I cried out, "Wait! I have pictures," as I dug into my pocket to pull it out. "Here, look." I pulled up the first picture and held it out to him.

I could see the look of awe on Dad's face as he took the phone from me to gaze at the picture there. Moving his head slowly back and forth, I heard Dad say softly, "It's you, Bells. That's you when you were a baby."

The tears that threatened a minute ago, now ran freely down my face again as I watched my dad look at a picture of his granddaughter for the first time. "I wish I could bring her here to meet you in person, but . . . she's gone. Edward . . . took her . . . and now . . ." I couldn't finish as the lump in my throat grew so large with my tears that I could get any words out around it.

Jacob moved over to the other side of me and put his arm around me to draw me close. I leaned into him to try and pull some strength from him as Dad asked, "What do you mean 'Edward took her?' Where did they go?"

"We don't know," Jacob answered for me. He quickly filled Dad in on what happened then added, "Do you think you could track the cars for us? Maybe find out where they went? I know they have a head start on us, but . . . "

"Damn right I can. I'll run the plates right away and see what I can find," Dad told him then he looked at me. "Bella, I will find her for you. That bastard can't just run off with my grandchild like that."

"They know how to disappear. If they don't want to be found, we won't find them."

"Well, I have to try." I could see the determination in his eyes and knew I couldn't stop him now if I wanted to. Then his eyes softened for a moment as he looked at me. "Bella, this is all so . . . I don't know what to believe, but I can see how much you're hurting. I have a feeling there is more you're not telling me, but let's save that for another time, OK?"

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, OK."

Adding his own smile, Dad said, "I love you, Bells. I'm glad you're home." I leaned forward and let my dad wrap me in his arms and hold me. I had to admit, it felt really good to be back home. Letting me go, Dad stood and moved toward the door as he asked, "Jake? Will you stay with her while I go to the station?"

"Yeah, of course, I'll be here."

"OK. I'll call you as soon as I know anything." And with that, he was gone.

I turned to Jacob and sighed. "Well, that went much better than I thought it would."

"Yeah. I noticed you didn't tell him about me. You think me being a wolf will freak him out?"

"No. I just didn't want to throw too much at him all at once."

Jacob smiled at that. "Yeah, OK," he admitted as he pulled me close to him again and I melted into his bare chest.

"You think he'll find anything?" I asked hopefully, knowing it was a stupid question.

"I don't know, Bells. I hope so, but . . . "

"I know. I know."

We sat there for awhile, just silently staring out into the dim lit room. I could hear the ticking of the mantle clock, and the hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen . . . and Jacob's steady heartbeat under my head as I rested it on his chest. Once again, Jacob was holding me together while I was trying so hard to fall apart.

I was still so tired from whatever drug Rose had put in my tea, and as the adrenaline wore off, I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. Jacob must have sensed this as I heard him say, "Bells? I think maybe you would be more comfortable in your bed. You think you can rest there awhile?"

I nodded my head as I was just too tired to respond any other way. Jacob smiled as he stood then picked me up to carry me upstairs to my room. "I could get use to traveling like this," I muttered into his bare shoulder.

I felt him chuckle as he returned, "Anytime."

Jacob walked into my room and set me down on my feet to pull back the covers on the bed then clicked on the small bedside lamp. He then gently pushed me to sit onto the bed before he kneeled down to remove my shoes. "OK, honey, just lay back and rest."

I did as I was told and laid back onto my bed, which felt so pleasantly familiar. Jacob pulled the covers up then leaned down to plant a soft kiss on my forehead as I asked anxiously, "Are you leaving?" Suddenly I couldn't stand the thought of being alone.

"I just want to step outside for a minute and connect with the pack. I need to let them know what happened. See if they know anything, OK?"

"OK. Hurry back," I mumbled into my pillow. I felt another soft kiss brush my forehead as my eyes fluttered shut then I heard Jacob run down the stairs.

The next thing I know, I heard snoring. _Snoring?_ I opened my eyes to see I was back in my room at Dad's, and then it all came back to me . . . why I was here. But obviously, I wasn't alone. I turned over to find Jacob laying beside me, snoring as he slept. I had to smile at him . . . he always looked so young and innocent in his sleep. I reached to gently brush his hair from his forehead, and he jumped. "Huh? What? You alright?"

"Yes. I'm sorry . . . I didn't mean to wake you."

"Oh, it's alright," he yawned. "How are you? You were sleeping by the time I got back."

"I'm OK, I guess." But I wasn't. The pain in my chest was growing and trying so hard to consume me . . . I kept shoving it away, but it was relentless. _Where was my baby now? Was she missing me?_

"C'mere, honey," I heard Jake say softly as he pulled me into his arms.

"Why would he do this to me? Is he that angry at me? Is this to punish me?"

Jacob sighed then answered, "I don't know. If what Paul overheard is true, maybe he is just trying to keep her safe. I know I would do anything to keep our baby safe. But, I really think he should have talked to you and told you what was going on. To drug you and leave, well . . . that's just fucking wrong."

I snuggled deeper into his body, relishing his body heat. "Thank you for staying with me, Jake. I really need you tonight."

"I need you every night, Bells. I wouldn't be anywhere else."

I smiled into his chest at his admission, then soon, both of slept again.

The next time I woke, daylight was streaming through the window. A flash of the last time that Jake spent the night flew through my mind and I looked over to find him still here . . . and still asleep. If only he had stayed that morning . . . would things be different now? _Don't go there, Bella . . . if they were, you wouldn't have Carly._ Then the pain returned and I squeezed my eyes closed for a moment as I tried hard to stay calm and keep the tears at bay. That's when I heard, "Hey, good morning. Did you sleep?"

I opened my eyes to smile at him. "Yes, I did. I feel a little better," I lied.

But he knew . . . just like he always knows. "Yeah, right. Sure you do." Jacob shifted so he was propped on his elbow, looking down at me. "It's OK to be upset. It's OK to be mad as hell. Whatever you want to feel, go ahead. Don't try and hide anything from me."

That's when I smiled and reached out to gently touch his cheek. "I love you, Jacob. I really do."

"Good. Bout time," he returned with a grin as he leaned down to kiss me softly on the lips, lingering for just a moment before sitting up to stretch and yawn.

I rolled my eyes at him as I threw the covers from me and announced I had to use the bathroom. "I need to call Dad, too."

"I know you probably don't feel like eating anything, but you really need to . . . for the baby," Jacob reminded me.

I stopped to look at him and say, "Oh, God . . . Jake, I'm sorry. I don't want you to think that I've forgotten about our baby."

"No, I don't think that. I was just going to offer to make you some breakfast."

"That's sweet, but I really don't think burning down the kitchen on my first day home is a good idea," I teased.

Jacob's face broke out into a smile. "She's joking . . . a good sign. Come on, I can at least manage scrambled eggs and toast," he said as he climbed out of bed to stand in front of me, dressed in only a pair of gym shorts, his muscular bare chest only inches from my fingers. Suddenly I had an urge to run my fingers over those pecs and abs . . . but told myself, this is not the time for that.

"Alright, go ahead. I'll take out the phone and dial 9-1-1 to be ready to hit send in case things get out of hand."

Jacob laughed softly as he kissed me on the lips then I heard him trot downstairs to the kitchen. I used the bathroom then went back to my room to pick up my cell phone and call Dad. The deputy on duty, Mike, told me that Sheriff Swan was on the phone and he would have him call me as soon as he was finished. I thanked him with a sigh then made my way downstairs to see what kind of mess Jake was making in my kitchen.

I walked into the room to find a mess of egg shells, bowls, forks, pans . . . and Jake at the stove, shaking his hips in time to the song playing on the radio. Smiling, I stopped and watched him, until he turned and noticed me standing there. "I know I made a mess, but I promise I'll clean it up," he told me with a grin as he stepped over to pull out the chair for me.

I gave Jacob an appreciative smile and sat down to eat my breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast and orange juice. It was actually quite good and I told him so as he sat down across from me with a plate heaped with eggs. "Thanks," he replied as he shoveled in a forkful of food.

We ate in silence as I found I was much hungrier than I thought I was. Jake was right . . . I had to remember that I still had another baby that needed me, and this one was completely dependent on me right now. I managed to eat most of my breakfast which made Jacob very happy.

"I think I'll go up and take a shower while you clean up. Is that OK?"

"Yeah, of course," Jacob returned as he picked up my plate to put into the sink.

He had his back to me as I stood up to go, so I said, "Jake?" When he turned to look at me, I went to him and put my arms around his waist. "Thank you."

Pulling me closer, he bent to whisper in my ear, "I love you, Bella."

It was music to my ears. "I love you, too . . . so much."

We stood there for a moment, wrapped in each other until I felt his lips on my neck. They were gentle kisses, meant to soothe me, but again I was reminded of the night we spent together so long ago. "Jake," I breathed as I turned my face into his and captured his lips in a kiss.

It surprised him at first then his lips moved with mine as the kiss quickly deepened into something else. My hands found their way into his hair as his pushed into my back, pressing me closer to his warm body. His tongue brushed against my lips and I parted them to allow him access to my mouth. Sighing as his tongue caressed mine, I wanted nothing more than to drown in this feeling of being with Jacob . . . to shut out everything else I was feeling . . . but the moment ended as the phone on the wall let out a shrill ring. I jumped as Jacob pulled away and grumbled, "What is it about this kitchen?" as he picked up the phone with a gruff "Hello?"

I realized it was my dad as Jacob didn't say much but just listened. Finally he said, "OK. Thanks for calling," and hung up.

"What?" I asked anxiously. "Did he find anything?"

I could see from Jacob's face it wasn't good. "They found two of the cars, the Mercedes and the Porsche, at the airport in Seattle. They were parked in the lot near the private jet terminal. He's working with the airport to find out what jets took off and what flight plan they filed."

"Carlisle and Alice," I mumbled. The four of them must be traveling together. I should have assumed they would split up. "And the others?"

Jake shook his head as he replied, "Nothing yet."

I swallowed hard and turned to rest my hands on the back of a kitchen chair, using it for support. I knew my baby was gone, and I would never see her again unless Edward wanted me to. _She would never know me as her mother . . . how could I bear it?_

I felt Jacob's large hand on my shoulder. "Hey, Bells. I'll stay by the phone. Why don't you go ahead and take that shower?" he suggested softly.

Giving him a nod, I pried my hands from the chair to walk slowly from the kitchen to the stairs. As I trudged laboriously up each step, I heard Jacob on the phone: "Hey, Leah, it's Jake. I'm with Bella and I'll be here all day. No, shit . . . I forgot all about school . . . because this is more important . . . yeah, Charlie found two of their cars at the airport in Seattle . . . "

I stopped and closed my eyes for a moment as I realized what day it was. _School . . . Jacob was supposed to start his senior year today. _I thought about marching downstairs and ordering him to go to school, but I knew Jacob well enough to know that there was no way he would leave me now. And I was ashamed to admit to myself that I needed him too much to ask him to go.

I left him to his phone call and closed myself into the bathroom. As I stood under the hot water, I shut my eyes and thought of the time I spent with Carly the last two days. Memories washed over me like the water from the showerhead: _Running my hand over her fuzzy head, seeing her smile at me for the first time, holding her close and smelling her clean baby scent, giving her a bath and even feeding her a bottle . . . _all of it seemed so precious to me now because it might be the last moments of time I ever spend with her.

Carlisle had promised me that she was doing very well, and so far, her rapid development had not caused her any pain or stress. But he still had no idea how long that might last . . . her body could still shut down at any time. My body slid down the back wall of the shower until I was just a sobbing heap on the tub floor. I couldn't stand to think that she might get sick and I wouldn't be there to hold her and comfort her . . . or worse yet . . . she could die without me ever seeing her again. _My baby girl . . . oh Carly . . . _

Time went by and from somewhere I heard a pounding noise . . . and a voice . . .

"Bella? Hey, are you OK in there?" Jacob shouted as he knocked.

I tried to pull myself from the pit of grief I had fallen into enough to answer him, but I couldn't. As it swallowed me up, I was paralyzed with an intense sadness and fear . . .

"Bella? Answer me!" The door burst open and soon I saw Jacob's face above me as he pulled back the shower curtain to find me shivering on the floor of the bathtub as the water had gone cold long ago. Quickly turning the faucet to shut off the water, Jacob crooned softly, "Oh, honey, come here," as he scooped me up into his arms and held me against his very warm bare chest. "I'll have you warmed up in no time." He then grabbed a couple of towels from the bar on the wall then made his way to my bedroom to sit on the bed, cradling me in his lap.

Jake used one towel to cover my naked body, and one to rub the water from my hair. The heat from his body was seeping into mine and soon my body stopped shaking. Once he was done with my hair, he dropped that towel on the floor and scooted so he was leaning against the headboard of the bed and just held me on his lap.

I have no idea how long we sat there. I felt like I had all those months ago when Edward left me: empty, lifeless, wondering what I had done wrong. Only this time, I knew what I had done wrong. I had fallen in love with my best friend and betrayed my fiancé. I had not been true to my feelings and now I was being punished in the worst way, by losing my baby. I guess I was too stupid and naive to think that Edward would never react in this way.

"Bella? Talk to me . . . please, honey. Let me know you're going to be alright," Jacob whispered in my ear.

I turned my head so I could look up at him. His eyes always showed me exactly what he was feeling, and now they were so full of worry and love, for me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."

Jake's smile tugged at my heart. "I know. Don't apologize. I can't imagine what you're going through. I know how much I love this little baby, and it's not even here yet." I looked down to where his huge hand covered my middle where our baby was growing. "If something ever happened to Junior . . . well, I don't think I could handle it as well as you are doing right now."

Placing my hand on top of his, I felt his lips brush my forehead. I suddenly realized that I was naked under the towel that was laying over me as I leaned back and felt Jake's chest on the skin of my bare back. "Um, maybe I should get dressed," I suggested, trying to sound not as embarrassed as I felt.

"Do you have to? I kind of like holding you like this," he whispered as his lips put a few very sexy kisses on my bare shoulder and his huge hand began to slide ever so slowly up my leg. I could feel how much he liked it stirring to life under my bottom, and again I reminded myself that no matter how much I wanted it, I was not ready to go there just yet. Not now.

"Mmm, hmm, I'm sure you do, but I don't think that now is the time," I told him as I slid as gracefully as I could from his lap and scooted to the edge of the bed. I stood and quickly wrapped the towel around me then asked him to leave while I got dressed.

"God, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot," he stammered as he jumped up off of the bed and headed to the door. "I'll be downstairs." And with that, he pulled the door closed behind him and I heard him hurry down the steps.

I dressed quickly and ran the brush through my hair that was now almost completely dry. I pulled it back and secured it with an elastic band, not really caring how it looked. Sitting on the bed, I felt like curling myself into a ball and just laying here forever. I wanted so badly to give into the grief I felt and just drown in it, but . . . moving my hand to my stomach, I realized that I did not have the luxury of being selfish this time. This baby needed me . . . I needed to find the strength to keep going for this baby . . . Jacob's baby. Again, I felt torn between them, but finally, I found the strength I needed to stand and make my way downstairs where I found Jacob slouched on the couch, staring at the dark, blank TV screen.

Easing myself down onto the couch beside him, I offered him a small smile. "Good show?"

"Huh?" He looked up at the TV then at me, finally realizing what I asked. "Oh, I didn't really feel like watching anything." Then he turned and said hurriedly, "I'm sorry, Bells, for upstairs. I don't know why I said that. I know it's not the time, but my hormonal body doesn't."

"Stop it, Jake. You don't have to apologize. I love you, and believe me, I want that too, but just not right now."

"I know that. I know . . . I'm just . . . I'm sorry, OK?"

"You're forgiven." I was happy to see his smile as he leaned back again and I joined him, settling back into the couch cushions with a sigh as I said, "I just wish I knew she was alright."

"You know how Edward is obsessed with her . . . he won't let anything happen to her."

"But if the Volturi make a threat . . . if they come for her . . . and she's not here, will they come . . . for me?"

Jake's eyes grew wide as he realized he hadn't thought about that then he turned to say, "You have to know that we will protect you, right? I would never let any of them hurt you in any way."

"I know that, Jake, but how can you watch me, run patrols, and go to school, which I know you ditched today, by the way."

Jacob shot me a sheepish smile before saying, "It's more important for me to be here. Look, Bella, I am so sorry that this happened. I keep thinking if only I would have told you as soon as I found out from Paul what he heard, but I didn't want to hurt you by telling you about him meeting this vamp in the woods, especially since . . . " he stopped, obviously trying to decide if he should go on or not.

"Especially since what, Jake?" I prompted.

Sighing deeply, he finally said, "Especially since Paul told me that Edward hugged her and then, before she left, she quote 'kissed him like she wanted to fuck him.' Um, that's how Paul described it, so . . . "

"No, I get it. And . . . I believe it. They have a history."

Jake's eyes shot up in surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah. Edward told me the night before the wedding about his first sexual relationship with a vampire. I put two and two together and realized later it was Tanya. Especially after meeting her at the wedding and watching her cling to Edward as she hugged him and kissed his cheek. Then when Edward introduced us, I got a really possessive vibe from her. I recognized her perfume on his jacket the night he came back after his three day disappearance when I was pregnant, and I smelled it again just yesterday."

"Are you fucking kidding me? You knew he was seeing this chick? Didn't it piss you off?"

"Of course it pissed me off, Jake! But, come on, I cheated on him first, didn't I?"

"Oh, so that makes it OK? Damnit, Bella! You don't deserve to be treated like that!"

"But he does?" I cried as I sat up straighter to look at him.

"No, but . . . it wasn't like that with you and me."

"Wasn't it?"

"No! I love you, Bella, and you love me. What happened between us just happened . . . we didn't meet out in the woods to fuck behind his back!" Jake shot at me. Then he must have realized how course that sounded as he quickly added, "I'm sorry, Bells. Shit, I didn't mean . . . "

"Just stop, Jake! I'm so sick and tired of everyone telling me how to feel, how not to feel, where to live, what to wear, who to love . . . I can't take it anymore!"

I shoved myself from the couch to stand a few steps away from him. Anger started to replace the sadness as my mind went into overdrive, thinking about how Jacob knew something might happen, but he said nothing. And Edward . . . meeting with Tanya, was she with him now? Did she suggest him running away to be with him? He just picked up and left, leaving me here to face the Volturi alone. Although I suppose he figured that Jacob would protect me . . . God, why was I always at the mercy of someone else? Why did I always need protecting? Because of Edward . . . because of who and what he was. I was suddenly so sick and tired of always feeling like a fragile china doll who needed someone to take care of her. I couldn't stand that I let him have so much power over me all those months . . . so much so that he took MY CHILD and just left me here . . .

Fury filled my body at Edward for taking Carly away, and at the Volturi for having so much control, and at the complete mess I had made of my life! Picking up the first thing I could get my hands on, which was a clay pot with a cactus from Arizona Mom had given me to bring here to Washington with me, I threw it as hard as I could at the fireplace with a guttural scream, "DAMNIT!" The pot smashed into pieces and dirt flew everywhere.

As I stood there staring at the mess, I realized it mirrored the mess my life had become. In shock at what I had done, my chest heaving, I turned on Jacob. "Fuck this shit, Jake! I am so damn sick and tired of being a pawn in everyone else's chess game. I can't stand not being in control of my own fucking life!"

Jacob carefully approached me, slowly reaching out his hands to grasp my upper arms. "Bella, I am sorry. I should have told you what I knew as soon as I heard it, and believe me, I will NEVER make that mistake again. You have every right to be pissed at me . . . "

"Yes, I do. But it's not you I'm really pissed at, Jake. It's him. Seeing HER behind my back . . . kissing her . . . and the fucking Volturi, having so much control . . . and it's not even really that . . . " I stopped and ran my hand over my eyes and through my hair then let out a sigh. "It's me. I hate . . . me, the girl I've become. I'm so weak and so . . . fucking pathetic."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jake spouted. "You cut your own arm and let the blood run in front of the red head, uh, Victoria, to save Edward . . . and what about standing up to the Volturi in Italy? And you carried his baby even when there was a good chance it might kill you. You are lot stronger than you think you are."

I rolled my eyes as I huffed, "Whatever." Stepping out of his hold, I walked a few steps away to say, "It's just that I've let myself be controlled for so long . . . by Edward, Alice, the Volturi, even you, Jacob. I just want it to stop."

"Then stop it. Right here, right now. Stand up for yourself and for what you want and need, Bella."

I closed my eyes and wished with all my heart it was just that easy. I felt Jacob behind me, as the heat from his body radiated toward me. "Bella, I love you, all of you. It's not just how beautiful you are when you smile, or you twisted sense of humor and mastery of sarcasm, or how great of a cook you are, although I have to admit I really do like that a lot."

I turned around to look at him as he went on. "You are loyal and brave and stubborn as hell. When you get it in your mind to do something, no one can change it. So, now is the time to get stubborn. Dig in and fight Edward. He can't take your baby away from you. It's wrong and you know it. I don't care if the Volturi are a threat . . . they can't beat a coven of vampires AND a pack of wolves if we all work together again."

"You mean, you would help me? You and the pack . . . would fight for Carly? I thought Sam wanted her . . . "

"Doesn't matter what Sam thought in the past. I am the Alpha now, Bella. I call the shots and if I think that Carly is in danger and needs our protection, then the pack will follow. Period."

"You're not just saying that because you love me?"

Jake smiled as he reached out to touch my face. "Of course it's because I love you. Because Carly is a part of you. But she is also half human, and I have vowed to protect humans against vampires. I will protect that part of Carly."

Leaning against Jacob, I rested my head on his chest. Once again, Jacob was my savior, my champion. I would have loved to do this on my own, but I knew that if I was going up against the Volturi to fight for my daughter, I would need help. And who better to stand by my side than the man I love?

My head tilted back as I looked up at Jacob and said, "Thank you. I love you, Jacob Black, with everything that I have. And I vow that one day, I will show you just how much you really mean to me."

His smile lit up his whole face as he bent his head close to mine. "I look forward to that day." Then he kissed me with so much love and passion, I found myself hoping that day wouldn't be too far into the future.


	29. Chapter 28

**CHAPTER 28**

**Jacob POV:**

Charlie called again early in the afternoon to tell us that three private jets took off last night, none of them in Carlisle's name, or any of the Cullens, filing flight plans for Chicago, one for Miami, and one for New Hampshire.

"New Hampshire?" I repeated. "What's in New Hampshire?"

Bella glanced at me and muttered, "Dartmouth."

"The college?"

"Yes. That's where we applied to college and were accepted. Our original plan was to go there and pretend we were at college while I was going through my newborn phase. But while we were on our honeymoon, I kept thinking about what you said to me the night before my wedding . . . how I shouldn't be in a hurry to give up my life before I even lived it. So, I told Edward that I wanted to really go to Dartmouth, you know, as a student. He told me he had already arranged for a house there. Maybe that's where they're going."

I smiled at her as I said slowly, "You thought about me on your honeymoon?"

Bella rolled her eyes as my smile grew even bigger. "I guess it was a mistake to tell you that. Like your head needs to be any bigger."

Leaning closer, I kissed her on the lips then admitted, "I guess I'm glad you didn't just forget all about me."

"I tried and it worked for like, ten minutes," Bella admitted with a shy smile. After another kiss, she ordered, "Focus here, Jacob."

"Oh yeah, sorry. OK, so you think since he already had a house at Dartmouth that maybe that's where they went?"

Bella shrugged, "I don't know, but it's a place to start."

"So, do you think that Edward and the baby were with the rest of them at the airport, or do you think they went separately somewhere else?

"I have no idea, but I know that where Edward and the baby are, Rose will be too. She is never away from Carly."

Suddenly, the door bell interrupted our conversation. "Uh, I was starving so I ordered us a pizza," I explained as I got up to answer the door. Just as she nodded, her cell phone rang. I heard her pick it up saying anxiously, "Hello?"

I quickly paid the delivery guy and hurried back to the couch to hear Bella's side of the conversation. She mouthed, "It's Emmett," as I sat down next to her. "Hold on, Emmett, I'm putting you on speaker so Jacob can hear too." She held the phone up and said, "Go on."

"Look, I don't know how much time I have . . . I don't want them to know I called you. When I found out from Rose that she drugged you, I lost it on her. I can't believe that she and Edward had this planned to leave you out like that! They had convinced all of us that you told them you wouldn't go because you wouldn't leave Jacob. But I knew something wasn't right when you weren't there to say goodbye to Carly. I knew you would never just let her go like that."

"I wouldn't . . . believe me, it is killing me not knowing if I will ever see her again. Is she alright?"

"She's fine, really, Bella."

"Where are you, Emmett?" I asked. I didn't want to interrupt Bella, but I knew he could hang up at any time and we needed to know where they were headed.

"We are outside of LA right now, headed for the airport. Rose needed to stop to get something for the baby, so I snuck off to call you. I have no idea where we are going after that. They tell me nothing. Basically it's just 'shut up, Emmett, and drive.' I'm going to have to try hard to hide this from Edward. Thankfully, Carly seems to keep him distracted."

Bella jumped in, "Thank you so much for calling. Call me again when you can, OK? And Emmett? Give her a kiss and whisper to her that her mama loves her."

"I will. Gotta go." Bella closed the phone as her eyes fluttered shut, one single tear sliding down her cheek as she let out a long, ragged breath.

"Bells, this is good. Emmett will call again, I know he will."

Nodding as she set the phone down on the coffee table, she whispered, "I hope so," as she wiped that tear away. "At least I know she is OK."

"Of course she is. You told me yourself that Edward and Rose are very protective . . . she will be fine."

"I know, I know." She turned and gave me a forced smile as she said, "Come on, let's eat."

While we were eating, Charlie came home. "Any news?" Bella asked him anxiously as he walked through the door.

With a shake of his head, Charlie answered, "Nothing new. I have people working with the airports in Miami, Chicago and New Hampshire to get a positive ID on the people leaving the private jets. I should be hearing something soon." Charlie looked beat as he plopped down into his chair.

"Here, have some pizza," I offered as I threw a couple of slices on a paper plate and held it out to him.

"Thanks. I haven't eaten all day," he told us as he took the plate from me.

While he ate, Bella told him about the call from Emmett, and her suspicions about the house at Dartmouth. "I think that's where we should start. I've got enough in my saving account for a ticket . . . I'll get my laptop and see how soon I can get a flight out of Seattle."

"Whoa, Bella. You're not going anywhere. You are still recovering from surgery . . ."

She turned on me with a wicked glare. "Are you serious, Jake? You think I'm going to sit here and do nothing?"

"Well, maybe you should at least wait for Emmett to call again and tell us for sure where they are headed. You don't want to get to New Hampshire only to find out they went somewhere else." I knew she'd just be pissed if I told her she couldn't go at all, so I hoped maybe she would go for being sensible.

"Jake's right, Bella," Charlie interjected. "You can't just go running around the country hoping you'll find them. Let me get some more information . . . "

"And while we sit here, they get that much farther away! I can't just sit here and do nothing!"

I put my hand on her shoulder to try and calm her as I said, "Bells, we know how hard this is for you, but you have to go about his smartly. Let's gather some more information and re-evaluate tomorrow, OK?"

Bella sighed as threw herself back against the couch cushion. "I guess it couldn't hurt to get more information."

"Maybe you can text Emmett? That way, if he can't talk, maybe he could text you a location?" I suggested.

Her eyes brightened at that. "Yeah, I didn't think of that," she said as she reached for her phone.

"It might be awhile before he can answer though, depending on how long he's on the plane."

Bella nodded as she quickly flipped open her phone and began to text:

Can you text me your location?

She set the phone down on her knee and sighed, "Now we wait."

After taking a shower and changing his uniform, Charlie insisted on heading back to the station as Bella paced the living room. "Are you sure, Dad? Maybe you should nap . . . "

"I'm fine, honey. I need to be there in case there's a break, and I'm still waiting on a call back from the Miami airport," Charlie answered as he stopped her from pacing. "I'm more worried about you."

"I'll be alright."

"OK," Charlie sighed as he dropped a kiss on top of Bella's head. "I'll call if I hear anything."

Bella nodded as Charlie turned away from her to give me a brief, "See ya, Jake," then walked out the door.

As soon as the door closed, Bella returned to her pacing. "Bells, come here. Give the carpet a break, OK?"

Giving me a small smile, she finally relented and sat down next to me on the couch. "I can't take the waiting, Jacob. It's killing me!"

"I know, babe, but there's nothing we can do about that."

With a sigh, she muttered, "Yes, because as usual, I am at Edward's mercy, waiting for him so I know what to do. God, how did I stand this for so long?"

That made me laugh, which earned me a glare from Bella. "I'm sorry, Bells, but I've been wondering that for like two years now!"

"Has it been that bad?"

Seriously, I turned to her to say, "Yeah, it has. Maybe you don't realize it, but from the very beginning he had some kind of hold over you . . . you just let him make all the decisions and you just followed along. It's killed me to watch you become his puppet."

Sinking down into the couch cushions, she mumbles, "Well, no more."

I pulled her close to me to say, "Good. I hope you mean that." We sat there quietly for a moment before I thought of something else. "Bells? Have you thought about what you're going to tell your mom?"

After letting out a long breath, Bella admitted, "No. I have no idea how to tell her any of this. I just don't know that she'll take it as well as Dad. And I really don't want to tell her over the phone."

"Maybe when things are resolved, you know, maybe you can visit her and tell her."

"Yeah, maybe."

It got quiet again for a few minutes until Bella said, "Jacob? I feel guilty about you being here with me so much. Won't the pack be upset with you?"

"Don't worry about them, Bells. I'm here for you as long as you need me." I, too, felt guilty about being here. I had dumped so much on Leah, and it wasn't right, but I just couldn't pull myself away from Bella.

Turning toward me, Bella gave me a look that suddenly reminded me of my sister, right before she would order me to do something she knew I wouldn't want to do. "Look, Jacob, didn't you learn anything from the little hissy fit I threw earlier today? I don't want you to feel like you have to protect me. You have a job to do, so go do it. I will be fine right here, inside the house."

Her stare made me feel like I was 10 again. How could I argue with her? I just told her to take control of her life, and now, here I am babysitting her like she can't take care of herself. Finally, I said with a sigh, "Alright. I will go, but is it alright if I come back later?" I really enjoyed sleeping with her . . . waking up to see her face first thing. I longed to do that every day of my life.

I enjoyed watching her lips curve into a slow smile before she relented, "Yes, you can come back. But you are going to school tomorrow, mister."

"Don't start with the school shit again," I whined. "It's so stupid! I don't have time for it, I don't need it . . . I need to find a job . . . "

"And who do you think will hire a high-school dropout, Jake? It's only for a few months, and I promise I will help you with your homework. Quit being a baby about it."

That made me laugh, so I shook my head and gave up. "Fine. I will go to school. Happy?"

"Yes. Now get out of here."

"Are you sure?"

Bella's eyes softened as she gently took my face into her hands. "Yes, Jacob. I am sure. I don't want to offend you, but I could really use some alone time. I will be fine." Then she leaned forward and kissed me, and I took the chance to pull her close and kiss her back until finally, needing some air, we broke apart.

"I could kiss you forever, Bella," I whispered as I planted a few kiss on her neck just below her earlobe.

"Mmm, I could let you," she whispered back. "Please hurry back."

I sat back with a smile. "Believe me, I will." Finally finding the strength to push myself off of the couch away from her, I made my way out the back door and to the woods, where I quickly stripped and phased to run back to La Push.

_"Jake? What the hell is going on?" _Leah asked as soon as I phased in.

_"Not much right now. Look, Bella made me realize that Edward left her here all alone, vulnerable to the Volturi. If they come here looking for the baby, and find out tha__t everyone is gone, but Bella is here, they may come after her. I want to set up a watch on her house at all times." _

_"Hmm, just like the good ole days, great. OK. Seth? Head to Bella's now and stay there until I send someone to relieve you."_

_"Got it, Sis." _And with that, Seth ran towards Bella's as I took off to La Push.

_"Thanks, Leah. Now, fill me in. Anything going on here?"_

Leah filled me in on who was on patrol and then she asked, _"So what's she gonna do? Just sit in her house and cry all day or is she going to hunt the bastard down and get her baby back?"_

_"It's not that simple, Leah. She was ready to take off today, but Charlie and I stopped her. We don't even know where they are yet. We convinced her to wait for more information before she goes running all over the country."_

_"Hmph. Well, the girl has more spunk than I thought. I figured she'd play the 'poor pitiful me' card and just wait for someone else to do it like always."_

_"She realized today how much control Edward has had over her in the past, and she told me she was sick of it." _I replayed the conversation Bella and I had for Leah, including her throwing the plant into the fireplace.

_"Wow . . . good for her. Bout time she grew up."_

_"Yeah, whatever. I'll meet you at my house. I should be there in __less than ten." _

I met with Leah and we went over how to set up two patrol schedules, which wasn't easy with half the pack in school during the day. But we finally worked it out at least for the next few days, and then I told her, "I need to go inside and talk to Dad. Take a break and get some sleep, OK? You look like shit."

Using a fake Southern Belle kind of accent, Leah purred, "Why, thank you, Mr. Black. You always know how to make a girl feel special," before rolling her eyes at me.

As she got up to leave, I grabbed her arm to stop her then said, "You are special, Leah. I'd be lost without you, I hope you know that."

I watched her eyes soften as my words sunk in then she punched me in the arm and said, "Yeah, I know. Men always need a woman around to tell them what to do."

Laughing, I stood and pulled her to me for a moment to say, "And you do that so well."

Knowing that she wasn't fond of touchy-feely moments, I let her go with a small shove and growled, "Now get the hell out of here."

"Alright, alright . . . you don't have to be such a hard ass," she grumbled as she stepped away from me. Leah turned to go then stopped to say, "Thanks, Jake."

I shot her a smile and a wink then watched as she jogged out of the yard toward the woods. Turning for the house, I opened the door and walked inside to find Dad. He was in his usual spot in front of the TV, yelling at the ump for calling a guy out at home plate. "Good game?" I asked as I sat down on the couch beside him.

"Oh, these umpires. What a joke! This guy has been shrinking the strike zone all night, and now . . . " he stopped his rant to look at me then smile and say, "Sorry. It's just a game, right?"

I had to laugh at that. Baseball was NEVER just a game to my dad, but my sister was always telling him he got too serious about it, and she would remind him, _"It's just a game."_ "Yeah, right," I said to him.

Chuckling, Dad picked up the remote to turn down the sound then he asked, "So, how's Bella? Any news yet?"

With a shake of my head, I filled him in on what we knew so far. "She kicked me out of the house and ordered me to go to school tomorrow. But I hate leaving her there alone, so vulnerable to the Volturi, so I set up a watch at her house when I'm not there."

"Good idea."

Something had been bothering me since I found Bella all alone in the Cullen house. A nagging thought popped into the back of my mind . . . I really had to know, and I was going to make him tell me, right now. "Dad? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, son. What is it?"

"You and the council made a decision, didn't you? About . . . the baby?"

Dad's face clouded a bit, as I could see he didn't really want to tell me. Finally, he cleared his throat, and I could see my dad transform into Billy Black, tribal leader, as he said, " The council decided that impregnating a human, whether it was voluntary or not on the human's part, whether it was intentional or not on the part of the vampire, still has to be considered making a new vampire, and that is forbidden. Taking in the fact that Bella was involved, we decided that death was too harsh a punishment, so banishment was our only option."

"Did you give this verdict to Carlisle?"

Looking into my eyes, he nodded before saying, "Two days ago."

"Damnit, Dad!" I shouted as I jumped from the couch. "You mean this is all our fault? Did you tell them to drug Bella so she would stay behind?"

"No, Jacob, I did not. It was to be her decision."

I turned away from him and dug my hands into my hair in frustration. "How the fuck am I supposed to face Bella now?" I whipped around to ask him. "Do you have any idea the amount of pain she is suffering right now? She is a fucking mess! And I can't be the cause of that . . . I can't be."

"Why do you think I didn't tell you?"

"Oh yeah, that makes it right. I'm sure she'll see it that way," I flung back at him.

"Jacob, I told you that this could not go unpunished or else the treaty would mean nothing. This has to be better in the long run for Bella . . . at least her baby lives."

"I know, but . . . damnit." _Sure, her baby lives, but not here . . . not with her. And now, she could blame me. I would lose her once again . . . along with my baby_. "Do you have any idea what you've done to me, Dad? Do you?" I shouted. "I was this close," I indicated with my forefinger and thumb, "this close to having my dream come true. Bella loves me . . . she's having my baby, and she wants to be with me. We were going to be a family, and now . . . now you've taken that away from me!"

"Jacob, I think you can still work things out with Bella. She doesn't have to know . . . "

"How, Dad? How is she going to forgive me for this? For taking her baby away from her? For forcing her to choose between her baby and me? You think I can hide this fact from her and she'll never find out?"

"You didn't make this decision, son, I did. Bella will understand that . . . she won't blame you."

"Yes, she will, Dad, because I did nothing to stop it."

"But you didn't know. I didn't tell you to avoid that very thing."

"But don't you see? It doesn't matter if I knew or not. I am the Alpha of the pack . . . the next in line to the almighty throne of the Quileute . . . I am guilty by association, Dad, just for being who I am. And for the record, the baby is no threat to us. I guarantee it."

Dad was quiet for a moment, staring at the floor. As I looked at him, I realized how much I had always loved and respected him, not only as my father, but as the leader of this tribe. But right now, that respect was slipping away as my anger grew and the knife in my back twisted.

Finally, Dad looked at me and said, "I'm sorry, son, that you feel betrayed, but I did what I had to do for the tribe."

"And the tribe always comes first, doesn't it?" I shot back snidely. "Thanks, Dad." And with that, I stalked to my room, going straight to the tiny closet I had, where I grabbed a duffel bag and started shoving clothes into it. It didn't take long, as I didn't have much left, then I grabbed what little cash I had left from the sale of the bike, stuffed into my wallet, swiped my car keys off the dresser and walked out to say, "Good bye, Dad," as I made my way through the living room towards the front door.

"Jacob! Stop! Where are you going?"

"To Bella's to do whatever I can to help her get her baby back!" I threw over my shoulder right before I slammed the door behind me.


	30. Chapter 29

**CHAPTER 29**

**Bella POV:**

I laid down on the couch after Jacob left and must have slept for awhile because when I opened my eyes again, I noticed it was getting dark outside. I sat up to stretch and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a piece of the pot I broke earlier by flinging it at the fireplace. I felt bad as I realized how tired Dad was when he was home that he didn't even notice the mess.

Pushing myself off of the couch, I finally went to the kitchen to fetch the broom and dust pan to clean up the mess I made. Feeling rather foolish for my little outburst as I swept up the dirt and pieces of the clay pot, I dumped them into a trash bag then went out back to put the bag into the trash can. As I turned to go back into the house, I saw the eyes, glowing at the edge of the woods. I wasn't sure which wolf was on watch until he trotted out into the back yard to greet me. "Hey, Seth. So, you got first watch, huh? Sorry."

His huge wolf head nodded then he bumped up gently against me as if to say it was OK. "Thanks," I muttered as I leaned into him and ran my hand down his side. "You're a good friend, Seth."

We stood there for a moment, just silently taking in the night air . . . it was muggy yet cool, but Seth's warmth made it comfortable for me to stay awhile and stare at the stars just coming out into the sky. As I relaxed against him, I wondered again where Carly was tonight. _Was she thinking of me? Wondering why I wasn't with her? Or was she content with just her father and the ever present Rosalie? _

Just then, I felt Seth's body tense as a low growl emitted from deep within him. I straightened in time to see two tall dark figures appear out of thin air about 30 feet in front of us. I knew immediately by Seth's reaction that they were vampires, but I wasn't sure yet who they were until they drew closer then my heart leapt into my throat as I recognized Felix and Demetri . . . members of the Volturi.

"Good evening, Bella," Demetri said in his smooth, velvety voice. "I see you have a guard dog . . . a very large unusual breed," he commented as he and Felix both looked over at Seth, who continued to growl menacingly and show his teeth.

"Wh-what do you w-want?" I stuttered, willing myself to stay calm. I did not want to show them my fear, and yet, I was having a hard time holding it back.

Turning back to me, Demetri replied, "We just paid a call to the Cullens to bring greetings from Aro on the birth of your baby, and no one was home. In fact, it looked like the place had been completely vacated. And yet . . . here you are, at your father's home. Why is that, Bella?"

Silently praying that Jacob was now on his way with more wolves in tow, I found the courage to answer, "I don't think that is really any of your business."

Demetri let out a sharp laugh as he looked over to Felix to say, "Isn't she charming?" Felix gave a brief nod then went back to keeping an eye on Seth as Demetri turned back to me. "Bella, Bella . . . anything concerning the Cullens is very much our business. And now that you are a Cullen in name, well, that makes you our business, too." He moved to take another step closer, but stopped as Seth snarled.

"I mean her no harm, mongrel," Demetri shot through clenched teeth," I just want to talk to her." Seth stood his ground, not moving one muscle. I knew Jacob would be very proud of him. Turning to me, he continued, "I am concerned that your family would pick up and go, leaving you behind. And your baby? Is she with you?"

So that's what he wanted to know . . . I quickly tried to decide whether to lie and say she was sleeping inside, or to admit I had no idea where she was. Knowing what would happen to me when they found out I lied about her being inside, I said, "No, she's not. I have no idea where they are."

I could see by his furrowed brow and intense stare he was trying hard to decipher if I was lying or not. "Come now, Bella. You are newly married, you have a baby . . . are you trying to tell me that your _mate_ and his family just left, not telling you where they were going?"

"Yes, that is exactly what I am telling you. Except that he drugged me so that I was sound asleep when they all snuck away in the middle of the night, taking my baby with them," I added, not trying to hide my anger. "You might try asking his girlfriend as she is the one who suggested he take my baby and go into hiding because the _Volturi_ might not approve of her." I hope he noticed the disgust in my voice as I said the word Volturi. I was sick to death of dealing with them.

I could see Demetri's eyebrows shoot up as he asked, "Girlfriend? Why Bella, how could that be? He is so in love with you."

"Yeah, that's what I thought, too, until I found out by smelling her perfume on his jacket that he was meeting with her while I was pregnant with his child." I hoped that if they thought Edward no longer cared for me, they would leave me alone. I definitely did not want to be held for ransom.

"Who is this . . . girlfriend?"

"Like you don't know?" I huffed. "I'm sure she's the same one who informed you that I had a baby in the first place. Or it might have been her sister." I had suspected that either Tanya or her sister, Irina, had already been to the Volturi to tell them about Carly. Irina certainly had no love for me, as she blamed me for Laurant's death, and Tanya, well, I guess she still considered Edward her property, so it could have been either or both of them that informed the Volturi.

Felix glanced at Demetri, who was silently contemplating his next move. _What was taking Jacob so long to get here? _Finally, he said, "Hmm, what a strange turn of events."

"Yes, strange," I echoed as I stood a little taller, crossing my arms over my chest to add, "So, if you find the cheating son-of-a-bitch, would you kindly let me know so I can get my baby back?"

A wicked smile curved over Demetri's lips as he said slowly, "Yes, of course."

Finally, two wolves came charging into the yard to stop on either side of Seth and me. I looked quickly at both of them, wondering why it was Leah and Embry and not Jacob. At the sight of the snarling wolves, Felix nervously braced for a fight as Demetri said quickly, "It seems we've worn out our welcome. Please give our regards to your family when you hear from them."

"And you do the same," I returned bravely. "But stay away from here and away from me." Funny how three huge wolves for back-up can give you all kinds of confidence.

With a slight nod to Felix, they turned and disappeared into the dark of the night. That's when I slumped against Seth as Embry phased behind him and pulled on his shorts as he hollered out, "Bella, are you OK?"

"Yes, I'm fine," I sighed as I drew my fingers through my hair.

Leah appeared before me and asked, "Did they hurt you?"

With a shake of my head, I told her, "No. They just wanted information. Seth, here, did a great job of being my protector. He never moved from my side." I patted him affectionately then he turned to phase behind my back. "Where's Jacob?"

"At home," Leah answered. "I just left his house when I got Seth's call for help. Embry was waiting for me, so instead of wasting time running back for Jake, we answered it."

I took in a ragged breath as the adrenaline left my body and I suddenly felt like collapsing. Embry suggested, "Let's get her inside."

I let Embry lead me inside through the kitchen and into the living room to sit on the couch. Seth and Leah followed then I said, "Someone should call Jake. He'll be pissed."

I watched as Leah looked at Embry, who then looked at Seth. I rolled my eyes as I picked up my cell phone from the coffee table. "Fine, I'll do it."

"No," Leah stopped me as she held out her hand. "I'll do it."

I handed it to her, saying, "Just hold down the number 2 . . . I have him on speed dial."

Leah nodded then stepped over to the fireplace to make her call. Embry plopped down beside me and asked, "So, what happened? Fill me in."

Before I could answer, Seth said, "I think we should wait for Jake."

We all looked over to Leah, who closed the phone and said, "Jake left. He's on his way here."

An awkward silence settled over the room until Leah announced, "I'm going to wait out back for him." I watched her walk into the kitchen then heard the back door close behind her.

I looked over to Seth who said, "Sorry, Bella. I guess she feels too out of place here."

"Well, I don't. Nice place you have here, Bella," Embry grinned as he settled into the couch, his arms flung out to the sides on top of the cushions. "Man, look at that big screen!" he exclaimed as he noticed the huge TV at the other end of the room. "No wonder Jake likes to hang out here."

"Yeah, dude, it's the TV," Seth muttered with a smile at me.

I returned his smile then asked, "Are you guys hungry? The least I could do to thank you is to feed you."

"You don't have to do that," Seth started, but Embry interrupted with, "Speak for yourself, bro! I'm starving!"

I couldn't help but smile at Embry. "Good. I'll have something ready in no time," I told him as I moved toward the kitchen. That's when the front door opened and Jacob burst inside to scoop me up into his arms.

"Oh my God, Bella! Are you alright? Did they hurt you? I knew I shouldn't have left, " he gushed as he squeezed me way too tight.

"Jake, I'm fine, but I can't breathe," I managed to get out.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." He quickly let go and stepped back to take my face in his hands. "God, if anything happened to you . . . "

"But it didn't. I'm fine. Thanks to Seth here," I nodded toward Seth. "You should be proud of him, Jake. He stood by me and never left my side."

Jacob left me to go to Seth, where he placed his enormous hand on Seth's shoulder to say, "Thanks, bro. Thanks for being here for her."

Humbly, Seth muttered, "Yeah, sure." Then he asked, "Where's Leah?"

"She left," Jake answered bluntly, looking over at Embry.

With a sigh and a shake of his head, Embry said, "She'll be alright. One of these days, maybe she'll learn to be a little more social."

I felt bad that Leah didn't feel comfortable around me. I had to admit I was very surprised to see her come to my rescue, but I knew it wasn't for me . . . it was for Jacob. She would do anything to protect his baby . . . the future of the pack. As I watched the three of them look at each other, I said, "Well, I am going into the kitchen to make that meal I promised."

"What? Bella, you don't have to cook . . . " Jacob began.

"Yes, I do, Jacob," I insisted, hoping that he would see that I needed to do something right now so that I wouldn't fall apart again. Jake finally relented and as I walked toward the kitchen, I threw over my shoulder, "Why don't you turn on the TV and find something to watch," knowing that Embry was itching to see anything on that giant screen.

I knew I was right when I heard Embry shout out, "Damn right, Jake! Fire this baby up!"

I smiled as I moved to the refrigerator to take out some hamburger as I quickly decided to make some tacos. I just hoped that two pounds of hamburger would be enough for three hungry werewolves. Suddenly I heard Jacob and Seth shouting, and I wondered what they could be fighting about. _He couldn't possibly be upset with Seth . . . he stood by and protected me._

Setting the hamburger on the counter, I left the kitchen and walked back into the living room just in time to hear Jacob shout into my cell phone, "You fucking arrogant son of a bitch! It's not enough you drug Bella and rip her baby away from her, you had to leave her here to deal with the Volturi all alone? Like you didn't know when they showed up to find you gone, they would come here looking for her? Thank God she has the pack to look after her, you stupid prick. You call her now and let her know what the fuck you are up to, you hear me? NOW!" Then Jacob slammed the phone shut and threw it onto the couch as he looked up to find me staring at him, my mouth wide open.

"I'm sorry, Bella . . . I probably shouldn't have done that," Jacob said somewhat sheepishly, then added, "but I feel a lot better."

I closed my mouth with a shake of my head and sighed, "Oh Jacob."

"I tried to stop him from calling Edward, Bella, but he's a little stubborn where you're concerned," Seth said as he stepped over to me.

"So that's what you two were fighting about?" I asked.

Before Seth could answer me, Jacob said, "I asked Seth to fill me in on what happened, and when he finished, I just couldn't help it . . . I lost it."

Not really knowing how to respond to that, I turned and walked back to the kitchen to pick up the hamburger and unwrap it. As I dumped it into the frying pan, I heard Jacob come into the kitchen. "Bells?"

I calmly took a wooden spoon from the drawer and started breaking up the hamburger as he just stood there, waiting for me to say something. "What do you want me to say, Jacob?" I asked as I cooked.

Moving directly behind me, he answered, "How about, 'I forgive you, Jacob?' "

I turned to face him as I asked, "Forgive you? For what?"

"For not being here! For not protecting you!"

Slamming the spoon down onto the counter, I cried, "Stop it! Didn't you hear a word of what I said before you left tonight, Jacob? I am sick of everyone thinking I'm some fragile child that needs babysitting. I told you to leave and you did. You sent Seth to me, and he stood by me, alright? It's done, it's over. Let it go." And with that, I turned to pick up the spoon and hack at the meat frying in the pan. It felt good to take out my frustration by beating the hamburger into pieces.

"OK, you're right. Look, Seth told me what you said to the Volturi . . . how you made it sound like you were pissed at Edward and called Tanya his girlfriend?"

"I figured if they thought Edward didn't care about me, they wouldn't hold me for ransom," I explained.

"That was smart . . . a good idea."

I glanced at him to huff, "I have them once in awhile, you know."

Jacob grinned as he replied, "Yeah, I know."

I gave him a small smile in return then ordered, "Don't just stand there looking cute. Grab the taco shells out of the cupboard and lay them out on that cookie sheet."

"Yes, ma'am."

We worked together in the kitchen as Seth and Embry enjoyed the big screen TV in the living room, and soon we had the meal ready to serve. Jacob called the others into the kitchen and we all sat down to enjoy our feast. It didn't take long for them to completely devour all of the tacos, along with a gallon of iced tea. While we ate, we talked about the "good ole days," when I used to hang out in the garage with Jacob, before they all turned into huge wolves.

"Man, I remember how Jacob used to moon over you! It was disgusting," Embry teased.

"Yeah? I remember you hitting on me once or twice, too. What was it with you guys? You all acted like you'd never been around a girl before, let alone talk to one. You both were seriously socially challenged," I insisted, which made Seth giggle.

"That's cause we didn't really talk to girls. We were pretty geeky. Until we turned into these gorgeous sex gods, that is, then the girls decided they couldn't keep their hands off of us!"

Everyone laughed at Embry then Seth asked, "Yeah? When does that start? Cause I'm still waiting."

Embry reached over and tousled Seth's hair as he replied, "When you quit peeing your pants every time a girl looks at you, that's when!"

That led to more laughter then the guys pitched in and helped me clean up the kitchen. Finally Embry announced, "I better go and find Leah. I hope I'm not in the dog house for staying."

I let out a giggle . . . _a wolf in the dog house_. Embry looked at me curiously until he realized what he just said. "Oh, yeah. Because I'm a wolf, duh."

"Sorry. It just put a funny image of a giant wolf trying to squeeze into a tiny dog house," I admitted shyly.

That made all of them laugh and as Embry got up to leave he stepped over to me to say, "I've kind of missed having you around, Bella. I forgot how weird your sense of humor can be."

"Thanks . . . I think," I returned as he grinned.

"Thanks for dinner. It was great. I'll see ya around."

"Yep. You're welcome. And Embry? Please tell Leah thanks for me, OK?"

With a wave, he headed out the back door, closing it behind him with a click. Seth looked between us and then said, "Well, I guess I better go, too. I actually have homework to finish." He stopped and looked at Jake to ask, "You going to school tomorrow?"

I saw how Jacob avoided looking at me as he answered, "I'm not sure yet."

Giving Jake a slight nod, Seth then turned to me and thanked me for the meal. I stepped over to put my arms around his waist and hug him tight for a moment. "Thank you, Seth, for being here . . . for standing with me."

"Uh, yeah, sure," Seth mumbled as I pulled away. I knew he was somewhat embarrassed by my action, but I could also see how much it meant to him. I gave him a smile as he made a move toward the door. "See you later," he muttered as he pulled it open and quickly made his exit.

I watched Seth go then turned to Jacob to give him a look that told him how I felt about him not going to school. "Don't start on the school thing again, Bella. At least, not right now, OK?" he threw at me before stalking off into the living room.

With a sigh I followed and sunk down onto the couch beside Jacob. He was stretched out, with his head against the back cushions and I could see he was pretty upset about something. We hadn't really had a chance to talk about the visit from the Volturi, so I ventured out with, "Jake? About the Volturi, I'm pretty sure all they wanted was information."

Turning his head to look at me, he answered somewhat vaguely, "Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess."

_OK, so that must not be what's bothering him. _I waited for a moment or two to see if he wanted to share whatever was bugging him, but he stayed silent. Then the front door opened and both of us turned our heads to watch a very tired looking Charlie walked in. "Hey, Dad. Any news yet?"

Charlie sunk into his chair by the TV and wiped his eyes before saying, "I got a call from Miami. Positive ID on the passengers . . . a Hispanic family of eight. Passengers on the Chicago jet were three businessmen from Seattle, and the flight to New Hampshire had five passengers, all women going to some retreat."

"So, all three were decoys," I muttered. Jacob turned to me and I could see he wondered what I meant by that, so I explained, "Carlisle knew we would track the cars, so he parked at the private jet terminal to throw us off. They could have gone on foot from there, or rented a car or taken a train or a spaceship for all I know," I finished as my head dropped into my hands. I heard Jacob sigh as his arm came around my shoulders.

"I'm not giving up yet, Bella," Dad said tiredly. "I came home to catch some sleep, then in a few hours I'll go back in and keep tracking. When you told me about Emmett's call, I put an APB out for LAX . . . we'll see what turns up there."

I realized then how futile this search would be. LAX was a huge airport with hundreds of jets taking off for all parts of the world every second of every day. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack, especially since I knew they wouldn't use their real names. And with the head start they had, we really had no chance of catching them before they disappeared.

"Look, kids, I am beat and I really need a few hours of sleep," Charlie announced as he stood from his chair. "Hang in there, kiddo. I promise, we'll find something soon." I felt his hand brush my shoulder as he walked by toward the stairs.

"Thanks, Dad, for everything you're doing. Good night," I called out.

"Night, honey."

"Maybe you should get some sleep, too, Bells," Jacob suggested as soon as the door closed behind Dad.

I looked over at him to say, "Not until you tell me what has you so upset. Spill it."

A slight smile crossed his face before he leaned back into the couch cushions to say, "I hate that I can't hide anything from you."

"Yeah, well, back at ya," I said as I leaned back beside him.

Taking a deep breath, Jacob said, "I had a fight with my dad before I came here tonight." He looked at me to add, "I, uh . . . I kind of left home."

"What?"

"I packed my stuff, threw it in the Rabbit and drove here then Leah met me in the yard and told me what happened with the Volturi."

"Oh, Jake," I sighed as I took his hand. He hardly ever fought with Billy. I had a feeling as I looked into his eyes, it had something to do with me. "What happened?"

Jacob closed his eyes as I could see he was conflicted by wanting so much to unburden himself, yet for some reason, he didn't seem to want to tell me. Finally, he opened his eyes as he said, "He told me that the Tribal Council had made their decision . . . about the treaty, and . . . what punishment should be given to the Cullens for their breech. They deemed that your baby, whether it was intentional or not, and whether it was voluntary on your part or not, had to be considered making a new vampire, which is forbidden in the treaty."

"Jacob, I'm sorry . . . " I started, but Jake's finger on my lips stopped me.

"Not your fault, Bella." I nodded so he removed his finger and went on, "Dad said that since you were involved, they deemed that death was too harsh a punishment, so they settled on . . . banishment." I gasped at that and Jake nodded. "Yeah, I know. Anyway, I asked him if he had told Carlisle yet, and he told me yes . . . two days ago."

That's when I saw in his eyes how torn he was, just before he jumped off the couch in anger to say, "This is all our fault! I couldn't believe it, Bella! He never said a word to me! Nothing! I am supposed to be the almighty Alpha, the next tribal leader, and they didn't include me on this decision at all! What a fucking joke." Words were pouring from him now in a rush, like a floodgate had opened and he couldn't stop them from spilling out. "He said he did it to protect me . . . can you believe that? Like I'm a child and not the Almighty Great Alpha. Damnit!"

Then he turned to me and quickly fell to his knees in front of me to say, "You have to believe that I would never have approved this, Bella. We had this all worked out, you and me. You would divorce him, be with me, visit Carly . . . everything was going to be fine, but . . . now . . . "

I ran my hand through his hair as he talked then stopped him by saying, "Jacob, I believe you. I know you didn't want this."

His eyes locked with mine as he asked, "Are you sure? You have to know I would never do this to you. Make them leave and take your baby . . . "

"Yes, I trust you. And in a strange kind of way, I understand why they made the decision they did. Jake, they're right. It was a breech of the treaty, and so they had to deal with it that way . . . besides, you know that probably isn't the real reason they left like they did. Remember the Volturi knew about Carly, they proved that with the little visit I had from them tonight."

Jacob's head fell onto my lap and I ran my hand lovingly over it. "Bella, I am so sorry. I feel like I could have done something to stop all this madness, and I didn't."

"Jake, I feel the same way. I should have known something was up when the house was so quiet, but I was too wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself."

We stayed like that for a moment until my cell phone rang. Jacob's head popped up as I reached for it and then answered, "Hello?"

"Bella? Are you alright? I assume from Jacob's very loud and rude message that the Volturi found you tonight."

_Edward! _"Yes, Edward, I'm fine. Where are you? Is Carly alright?" At hearing Edward's name, Jacob quickly slid onto the couch beside me to lean in close and listen in.

"Of course, Carly is fine. I would never allow anything to happen to her, you should know that."

"I do, but it doesn't justify taking her away from me like that. What kind of monster does that?"

"I did what I had to do to protect her, Bella. Now tell me about the Volturi . . . who was it and what did they want?"

I quickly filled him in on what transpired between Demetri and Felix and me and ended with, "I hope I convinced them that you didn't care about me anymore. I wasn't sure, but I really didn't want to be held for ransom. Thank God I had three wolves there to back me up." Jacob nodded in pride, yet I knew it still stung that he wasn't there.

"I am sorry about that, Bella. I didn't think they would be so quick to show up. Alice and Jasper were supposed to circle around and come back to keep an eye on you."

"Whatever," I huffed. "I don't need them. Jacob will protect me."

"Damn straight," Jacob muttered as he took my hand and squeezed it.

"Fine, if that's what you want," Edward returned coolly. "Look, Bella, you need to call Charlie off of his hunt for us. Every stone he overturns helps the Volturi get closer to us and I can't have that. There aren't too many places in the world left where we can hide that they don't know about."

"How did you know Charlie was looking for you?"

"Really, Bella? Carlisle had someone call him from the airport to tell him that the police had been asking questions about the cars parked there. Look, that doesn't matter . . . "

"Then tell me where you are, Edward. I have a right to know where my baby is."

"I can't, don't you see? I will not allow the Volturi to use my daughter as a lab rat! I will hide her from them for as long as I have to."

"A lab rat?"

"Yes! Aro is itching to get his hands on her and pick her apart like she's some specimen. As you already know, there aren't many known cases of this happening, and he has decided that she must be studied and watched so they can learn about this, even though Carlisle assured him that he is already keeping data on every bit of Carly's development. If he ever learns about Carly's gift, well, it will be even worse."

"Oh my God, you can't let that happen," I breathed.

"Exactly. That is why we must not let them know where we are. And the less you know, the better. That way, they can't get anything from you."

"When did you find this out? How long have you known?"

"Alice had a vision a couple of days ago . . . of the Volturi coming here to take her. Carlisle and Esme headed to Italy to try and talk some sense into Aro, and I took Carly into hiding."

"How did they find out about her?"

There was a long pause before Edward said, "It doesn't matter. They know and they want her . . . that's all that matters."

So I was right. It was through Tanya they found out. "It was Irina, wasn't it?" Silence . . . no answer from him, so I went on, "She found out from Tanya and went straight to the Volturi to get me back for the wolves killing Laurent. Is Tanya with you, too?"

"No, Bella. And I told you, Tanya is just a friend, and it doesn't matter how they found out. All that matters is that Carly is safe, and I will see that she is."

_Just a friend . . . right. _Closing my eyes as I let out a sigh, I asked, "Edward, why? Why didn't you tell me any of this? Why did you have Rose drug me then just leave?"

"Would you really have come with us? Would you have left _him_ behind?"

I squeezed my eyes shut as I thought how horrible it was to have to choose between my child and the man I loved. "I can't choose," I said softly. "It's so unfair of you to put me in that position!"

"You put yourself there, Bella, when you selfishly decided to have us both," Edward replied coldly. "Look, I have to go so they can't trace the call. I will have to destroy this phone now, so don't call this number. I promise I will call when I can. Good bye, Bella."

And with that, he was gone. I closed the phone and let it drop in my lap as tears now clouded my vision. His words had hit me like a knife in the heart. _"You put yourself there, Bella, when you selfishly decided to have us both." _He was so right . . . I have been so selfish . . .

"Bella? Honey? Are you alright?"

I could hear Jacob talking, but I couldn't respond. Pain reverberated through my body, again trying to consume me, and I knew it could easily if I chose to give into it. But what good would that do? Would it bring Carly back to me? No. And now that I knew the truth about why they left, I agreed that she needed to be hidden. I couldn't stand the thought of my sweet baby girl being in the hands of Aro and the Volturi. And it wouldn't be forever . . . I had to believe that. I _would _see Carly again . . . I would see to that.

Remembering that I had another baby growing inside me . . . one that depended on me now for it's very life, I knew I had to go on for this child, and for Jacob, and . . . for me. It was time to be strong and put someone else first, that someone being Carly. Finally I turned to Jacob and nodded that yes, I was alright. "Carly is where she needs to be right now, and I just have to find some way to live with that."

Then I shamefully collapsed onto Jacob and once again let him hold me together, wondering if life would ever feel right again.


	31. Chapter 30

**CHAPTER 30**

**Jacob POV:**

Sitting with Bella while she struggled to hold herself together, I struggled with my own emotions ripping through me after hearing Edward's phone call: anger at him for hurting Bella like he did, frustration at the fact that I didn't stop it, and then guilt at the relief I felt knowing they were gone and I had Bella all to myself. I couldn't help it. I was so sick and tired of sharing her with him for the last two years. I wanted so badly for Bella to be mine and mine alone.

After awhile, Bella pulled away from me as she reached for the Kleenex and began the clean-up. "I guess you heard why they left . . . it had nothing to do with you, Jake."

"Yeah, I guess I'm glad about that, but . . . I wish he would have told you. We would have helped to protect her . . . "

"I know that, but I also know that Edward probably wouldn't have gone for that. I'm sure he believes that he is the only one that can protect Carly."

Nodding, I knew she was right. He was rather egotistical that way, and I'm sure with the way he felt about me right now, he wouldn't want my help.

"It's funny how he couldn't tell me how the Volturi found out. He knew . . . I could tell by his hesitation. Even though he didn't confirm it, I would bet money it was Irina. Edward feels guilty because he knows she heard it from Tanya and ran straight to the Volturi. What a bitch."

I glanced at Bella with a smile playing at my lips. It was kind of shocking to here her talk that way. I mean, I was used to Leah's foul mouth, but Bella was different in that way. It only came out when she was really angry. Bella looked at me curiously before asking, "What?"

"Nothing. It's just, well, I'm not used to hearing you call someone a bitch. It's kind of . . . cool, I guess." Seeing her small smile made me hope she was feeling better. "Are you sure you meant what you said about Carly being where she needs to be?"

Nodding, Bella replied, "Yes, Jake, I'm sure. Edward was right . . . I have been selfish, so much so that it's affected all of our lives in such a bad way. It's time for me to quit being so selfish and put Carly's safety first." Then with a huge sigh, she added, "I miss her so much, and I will always feel less whole without her, but . . . Edward is doing what is best for her and I just have to accept that, for her."

"Yeah, I guess. But . . . are you sure you don't want to keep looking for her? You're her mother . . . you deserve to be with her. I would understand, you know, if you wanted to go to her, for awhile . . . "

A tender smile grew in Bella's eyes as she touched my cheek to say, "Thank you, Jacob, for that. And if they are gone longer than I think they will be, I will find a way to go to her, but . . . I have to wait until it's safe. As much as I hate it, Edward is right. We have to call off the search. I don't want to lead the Volturi to them. Again, I am at Edward's mercy . . . waiting until the time is right to see my daughter." With a sigh, she added, "I suppose it will always be that way with Carly. She's more his that she is mine. He's made that abundantly clear."

My hand snuck over to lay on her belly as I said softly, "Our baby is just that, Bella . . . OUR baby. Yours and mine."

Covering my hand with hers, she turned her head to smile at me, and I felt my heart melt. We sat there like that for a moment until Bella surprised me by standing up to say, "Come on, it's late. I could really use some sleep," as she held her hand out to me.

"Are you sure? Maybe I should just crash on the couch tonight." Like I've told Bella before, Charlie owns guns, and I really didn't want to piss him off.

"I kind of like having you next to me when I sleep," Bella admitted shyly. I have to admit it kind of turned me on.

"Charlie won't be upset?"

With a roll of her eyes, she put her hands back on her belly to remind me, "I'm pregnant, Jake. What other kind of trouble can we get into?"

I laughed softly at her weak attempt at a joke and answered, "Well, I could think of some, but we'll leave that for another time." Bella's smile warmed my heart as I added, "I guess I'll go out and grab my bag."

"OK. Meet you upstairs."

I trotted outside, grabbed my bag from the car then hurried back inside and crept up the carpeted stairs as quietly as I could. Not thinking to knock, I opened Bella's bedroom door just in time to see some of her bare back before she slid her tank top into place. "Oh, um, s-sorry . . . " I stuttered as I started to back out again.

Bella turned to say, "It's OK. Come on in."

I slipped inside and closed the door softly then set my bag on the floor. It was still very hard for me to be inside this room and not think about the night we spent here together. Last night was a little easier for me as Bella was already asleep when I came to bed, and I was so exhausted, I fell asleep right away. But tonight . . . tonight was different. As I stood there awkwardly wondering what to do next, Bella asked, "Jake? Are you going to sleep in your clothes?"

I looked up to see her crawl into bed, wearing the tank top with shorts, and I willed myself to calm down. I could feel the stretch in my groin as I hardened at seeing Bella dressed the same as that night I crawled through her window. _How the fuck would I be able to keep my hands off of her all night?_

"Uh, maybe I should sleep on the couch," I started until Bella sat up and said, "No, Jacob. Please? I don't want to be alone."

As I stared at her, pleading with her beautiful chocolate brown eyes . . . her shiny hair hanging over one bare shoulder . . . _oh my God, I love this girl_. I knew I would never be able to deny her anything.

"Alright," I sighed as I turned my back to her and pulled my t-shirt over my head to toss it onto the floor then made my way over to the window to ask, "Is it OK if I open the window? It's kind of stuffy in here."

Bella stared at me for just a moment before answering slowly, "Um, yeah . . . sure," making me wonder if she was remembering that night, too.

I pushed the pane up, took in a big breath of cool air, then walked over to the edge of the bed announcing awkwardly, "Uh, I usually sleep in just boxers."

"That's fine. I want you to be comfortable," Bella returned as she reached over and thankfully turned off the bedside lamp.

Now that I could use the cover of darkness, I pushed my shorts down over my ever-growing erection, and quickly crawled onto the bed to lay on my side facing her, hoping that Bella wouldn't ask me to hold her just yet.

"Jake? Are you alright?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"OK."

I closed my eyes and willed my body to calm the fuck down. I wanted so badly to recreate that night with Bella . . . _to kiss her soft lips and touch her beautiful body in all the right places . . . to feel her underneath me . . . to hear her cry out . . . _I jumped from my fantasy as Bella touched my arm.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Are you sure you're alright?" Bella whispered.

"I, uh, I can't do this. Not right now," I insisted as I crawled out of the bed and paced in front of the window.

Bella sat up and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry . . . I just can't . . . control it right now."

"Control it? Oh . . . I get it."

I stopped my pacing and looked over to see her smile shyly at me. "Don't do that. Don't smile at me. This is hard enough, no pun intended, without you smiling at me."

Bella laughed softly then said, "Jake, I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh, but . . . I was having the same thoughts."

"Oh great, yeah, that helps." I turned my back on her, placing my hands on either side of the window to lean forward, hoping the cool air would help. Next thing I know, Bella is standing beside me. "Bella . . . go back to bed," I warned.

"Jacob, I love you, I really do, and . . . I want you so much. But, technically, I am still married, and this isn't really the right time . . . "

"Yeah, I know, I get that. Why do think I'm over here?"

Again, she smiled, and I thought I would burst soon if she didn't stop it! Straightening, I said, "Um, I think I'll take a cold shower. Maybe that will help."

Bella nodded, but before I could leave, she put one hand on my chest and one hand on my neck to pull me closer to her then she touched her lips to mine. It was a soft kiss, I think meant to let me know she was sorry, but soon both of her hands were wrapped around my neck and as she sucked my bottom lip into her mouth, I lost what little control I had and lifted her up to straddle me, digging my hands into her luscious ass.

Leaning her back up against the wall, we kissed over and over, suddenly ravaging each other like we couldn't get enough. My hard-on was raging now as I pressed it into the soft flesh where her tank top had ridden up, and I wanted nothing more than to drive into her as she tugged at my hair and devoured my mouth. Both of us were completely out of control at this point . . . I had no idea how to stop it, nor did I want to.

Tearing myself away from her mouth, I sucked and bit at her neck as my hands slid her tank top higher to free her breasts. As soon as I felt her hard nipples on my skin, I leaned back a little to run my palm over one, then my thumb, sending Bella through a series of shivers and whimpers. I had to have one in my mouth, so I tore my lips from Bella's neck and bent to run my tongue over one of her hardened little pebbles before sucking it inside, and enjoying the moan that it brought from her. Bella's mouth moved to my neck as I worked her breasts and when I felt her teeth on me, I knew I wouldn't be able to last much longer.

Turning, I quickly laid her on the bed, and propped myself over her, my hand scrambling to find her shorts, but instead touching her hand as she was already yanking at them. Taking my cue from her, I pulled at my own boxers until I was free and quickly positioned myself between her legs. I was throbbing now, as I felt the heat that was pouring from her, and with one more look into her eyes, I pushed inside to find that she was just as ready for me. I heard Bella gasp then dig her nails into my shoulder and I stopped to relish the feeling of her all around me as her legs wrapped around my waist, and she whimpered and tried to force me deeper with her feet.

I gave into her urging and soon was pumping in and out faster and faster as I kissed her and grabbed handfuls of her silky long hair . . . it didn't take long until I felt my balls tighten and then I filled her as my body spasmed and I sighed with complete gratification.

"Oh Jake!" Bella squeaked out as I felt her body tighten and then contract around me before she fell limp and panted in my ear.

As we lay there, trying to catch our breath, guilt started to creep up around me. _She was still married . . . her baby was missing . . . this wasn't the right time . . ._ "Bella?" I whispered as I propped myself on my elbows to look down at her.

What I didn't expect was the huge grin on her face. "What the hell was that?" she whispered.

With a grin of my own, I answered, "That was months of sexual tension held back for too long."

"Oh my God, that felt so good!"

I had to laugh as I nodded. "Yeah, it did. But, what happened to it not being the right time?"

Bella's grin faded, her eyes softened as she said, "I don't know, I mean, I know it's not really, but . . . I just looked at you, standing by that window with no shirt on, and . . . that night came crashing back to me, and . . . next thing I know, I'm kissing you and then . . . wow."

"Yeah, wow," I echoed as I kissed her lips softly then eased off of her. I watched as she tugged her tank top down and then I handed her her shorts as I pulled mine back up and we settled onto the bed, Bella on her back, and me on my side, facing her.

"I didn't hurt you, did I? Your rib, or your incision?" I asked.

"No," Bella answered quickly. "Not at all." Then she turned to look at me and say, "I've thought about that night so much, Jake. It was so . . . perfect and . . . you made me feel so . . . "

"Yeah, I know," I smiled as I brushed a lock of her hair back to hook it behind her ear. "I've told you enough that I've relived it many, _many_ times."

With a shy smile, she told me ,"I hate to admit this, but . . . there was a time on my honeymoon . . . on the beach . . . I was alone, and hot and I closed my eyes and thought about you and that night, and I was so close to . . . you know . . . " she stopped, blushing with embarrassment.

I knew what she meant, but wickedly, I wanted to hear her say it. I gave her a look that told her I had no clue what she meant as I encouraged her to go on. "What?"

Bella huffed, "You know. . ." she stopped and waited as I again gave her the blank stare then she sighed, "touching myself."

I couldn't hide the grin as she finally said it then she realized that I had been teasing her. A smack on the arm was followed by, "You jerk!"

I chuckled as I pulled her close and whispered, "I'm sorry. I just wanted to hear you say it. It's really hot to think of you doing that while you're thinking of me." I ran my tongue over her ear lobe and was happy to hear her short intake of air, as I added, "I always think of you when I do that. And I do that waaayyy too much."

I claimed her lips in a hot, wet kiss that led to some heavy making out. Finally, needing some air, we broke apart and I asked Bella, "Are you OK with this? I mean, we agreed it wasn't the right time then . . . here we are . . . "

Smiling, she replied, "Yeah, I don't think we could have kept it from happening too much longer. I love you, Jacob. I love you and I want to be with you . . . not just as a mommy and daddy for this baby, but in every way."

"God, you have no idea how long I have waited to hear that. I tried so hard not to give up hope, and now that we're here, I'm so afraid something will happen to break us apart." I was surprised that I had said that out loud. I never wanted to admit it, even to myself.

"No, Jake. I won't allow it. Never again. You and me and this baby will be together no matter what. I promise." Bella leaned forward to seal that promise with a long, lingering kiss as I entwined my fingers into her long hair.

When Bella pulled away, I smiled, "Good." Then I thought of the baby . . . _our_ baby. Laying my hand on Bella's stomach, I rubbed it gently as I asked, "How long before you start to show?"

"Um, I'm not sure. The book says usually about four months, so I guess that's about another 5 or 6 weeks. Why?"

"I know we have a picture, which is in my bag by the way, but . . . I can't wait until I can lay my hand here and feel our baby growing, you know? Feel it kick and move."

That made her smile, something I loved more than anything. "I know. It will be so different this time. I won't be so scared to feel it move around." That beautiful smile faded as she added, "I hope that a lot of things will be different with this baby."

"Like what?"

"I want you and me to do things together for this baby, like pick out a crib and set up a nursery and buy little baby clothes . . . and a stroller. I want to buy a stroller."

I moved my hand to Bella's cheek as I said, "Of course we will do those things. This is our baby, yours and mine." Then I realized where she was going with this, and I added, "You didn't get to do those things for Carly, did you?"

Bella shook her head as I could see tears spring to her eyes. "No. When I walked into that nursery for the first time, I couldn't believe it! I mean, it was gorgeous, but . . . no one even asked me what I wanted for the nursery. What color I would like or what kind of crib I would want. I never got to shop for the clothes or toys or . . . anything. Carly has nothing from me. Nothing."

Brushing a tear from her cheek, I told her, "That's not true. You told me she has your eyes, and they are really beautiful . . . she's a lucky girl."

That smile I love crept back over her lips as she sighed, "Jacob."

"What? Do you know how those eyes haunted me when I ran as wolf? I did everything I could to forget you, Bells, but those eyes . . . they were with me wherever I went."

Bella rolled to her side to face me then ran her hand down my cheek. "I'm so sorry for how I've hurt you."

"Stop . . . that's in the past. We're here now, and that's all that matters." Looking at Bella's luscious lips, I leaned in to kiss them softly and then I found myself lingering there, as we tasted each other in a series of light kisses.

"Mmm," she sighed, "I am so lucky that you never gave up on me."

"I tried, believe me, but . . . I couldn't and I never will."

Gazing into my eyes, Bella said softly, "I love you, Jacob Black. Thank you for making me feel so safe and so loved."

"You're welcome . . . anytime."

"I want you to know, Jake, that I am going to spend the rest of my life making you feel the same way."

"Yeah?" I asked with a grin. Then I tapped my lips with my finger and asked, "How about now?"

Giving me one of the sexiest smiles I have ever seen, Bella leaned forward and kissed me, running her tongue along my bottom lip. Just as I pulled her close and dipped my tongue into her mouth, I heard Charlie's bedroom door open.

Hearing it too, Bella pulled away quickly and jumped out of bed to grab a hoodie and zip it over her tank top as she said, "I have to talk to Dad. I need to tell him to call off the hunt for Carly." And with that, she ripped the door open and ran down the stairs calling, "Dad! Wait!"

I crawled out of bed and left Bella's room then stopped at the top of the stairs. Not being sure how Charlie would take me sleeping in his daughter's room, even though she _was_ pregnant with my baby, I decided maybe I would just stay here and listen.

"Dad! Stop!" I heard Bella say. "Where are you going? Have you heard something?"

"I just got a call from my guy at LAPD. There may be a lead there . . . "

"No, Dad, it's too late. Edward called me, tonight, after you went to bed. Wherever he was headed, he's already there."

I smiled as I heard Charlie say gruffly, "Damnit! Where is the son of a bitch and when is he bringing my granddaughter home?"

"I don't know, Dad. But, after talking to him, even though it's killing me to be away from Carly, she's where she's has to be right now. Edward is hiding her to protect her." Bella told her everything Edward had to say about the Volturi wanting to treat his daughter like a 'lab rat,' and how he had to hide right now until Carlisle could convince Aro otherwise.

"Are you sure you're OK with this Bells?" Charlie asked.

"I have to be, Dad. I don't have a choice. I would rather have her safe, wouldn't you? And I have to have hope that they won't be gone forever. I will see her again."

I sat down on the top step and could see Charlie, with his back to me, pull Bella into his arms. "I'm so sorry, honey."

Bella stayed there for a moment then she pulled away. "Me, too, but it is what it is," I heard her sniff. "Thanks for everything you've done, but, it's time to call it off. Just tell everyone that we found Carly, she's safe with her father, and I'm not pressing any charges, alright?"

"If you're sure that's what you want . . . "

"Yes, I'm sure."

Charlie sighed as he wiped his hand over his face then he nodded. "Alright. I'll go down to the station and make the calls. You get some sleep."

"I will."

Heading for the door, Charlie stopped and asked, "Wait, is Jake still here? His car is outside."

_Uh-oh. Here it comes. _I heard Bella say, "Yes. He's upstairs sleeping." I couldn't see Charlie's face from where I was perched on the steps, but I could tell by Bella's voice, he must not have looked too happy about me being here when she said, "Look, Dad, I really need him right now. He's all that's holding me together."

Again, Charlie let out a long sigh. "Alright. I'll be back later."

"Thanks, Dad. I love you."

"I love you, too, honey. Good night." Then I heard the front door close and I smiled as Bella walked up the steps.

"So, you heard?" she asked as she stopped to stand between my legs and run her hand through my hair.

"Yeah. I wasn't sure what Charlie would say, me being in your bed and all. He wasn't too happy, was he?"

Smiling, Bella perched on my knee as her arms wrapped around my neck. "Well, he didn't pull out his gun and charge up the stairs, so I guess we're OK."

I met Bella's smile with one of my own. "Yeah. We are OK." Then I kissed her soundly and stood up, taking her with me as I added, "Come on, let's get some sleep. Then, in the morning, you can make me breakfast."

"Oh yeah? What makes you think I'm going to make you breakfast?" Bella asked as she stopped at her bedroom door.

"Well, if you remember, I made you breakfast this morning," then remembering it was way past midnight, I added, "or yesterday morning, whatever. So, it's your turn. And I want pancakes . . . lots and lots of pancakes."

With a smile, Bella answered, "Pancakes, huh?" As I nodded, she took my hand and led me back into her room then closed the door, and as she pushed me back towards her bed, she said, "Well, wolf boy, if you want pancakes, you'll have to earn them."

And earn them I did.

I opened my eyes and squinted for a moment against the sun streaming through the window, then I heard, "Good morning, sleepyhead." Turning my head, I took in the sight before me and wondered for a moment if I was dreaming. Bella's head lay on her pillow beside me, her brown eyes warm with a smile. I had to reach out and touch her face to see if she was really there. "Hey, you're real," I told her with a smile.

"Mmm, hmm," she hummed as she leaned forward to kiss me on the lips. "And you are officially late for school . . . again."

_School. Shit._ I was really hoping she would forget that lecture today. "What time is it?" I asked as I let out a yawn.

"It's after nine."

"Oh," I said as I turned to face her. "Well, are you going to punish me for missing school again? Maybe a spanking?" I asked hopefully, arching my eyebrows. _Humor, yeah, maybe that will get me out of it._

"Don't you wish," she shot back before adding, "I will let it go today, but tomorrow, you're going, mister. No excuses."

"We'll see," I told her as I propped myself up on my elbow then ran a finger lightly over her lips. "Do I get a good morning kiss?"

"What do you think?"

"I think," I said softly as I bent slowly toward her lips, "yes," then I kissed her and felt my heart flutter. _Waking up with Bella, and kissing her_ . . . it was my dream come true. Especially after the night we had. I had no idea how long this would last, and I didn't want to waste a single second. As we kissed, her hands came round my neck and played at my hairline. I loved the feeling of her hands on me . . . along with other body parts.

My hands began to wander her body until I heard, "Jacob . . ." Bella gave me a little shove to stop me. "I'm sorry, but Dad will be up soon. I feel bad enough that we . . . you know, did that with him here. I know he was sleeping pretty sound, but . . . "

"It's OK, Bells. I get it. Sorry."

"Don't be. Believe me, I'm very tempted. It's pretty awesome waking up with a hot guy in your bed," she said, wiggling her eye brows at me.

"Hot, huh? You think I'm hot?"

"Oh come on, Jake. Like you never look in a mirror? Have you seen this body?" Bella asked as she ran her hands over my shoulders.

I had to laugh as I said, "Oh yeah, I'm a sex god."

"Mmm, I would have to agree with that," Bella returned as she drew me down for another kiss. "You certainly know how to make me feel _very_ good."

"Not bad for a virgin, huh?"

This time she laughed. "That makes two of us . . . and I think we are officially way past that." After one more lingering kiss, Bella threw the covers back and said, "I'm going to go and pee, then I'll start on your pancakes, OK?"

"Sounds good. Mind if I jump in the shower?"

"Nope. Go ahead." Bella pulled on a pair of sweatpants and threw on the same hoodie she wore last night before opening the bedroom door and heading to the bathroom. I laid back and stretched out, not even trying to hide the huge grin on my face. Bella was mine . . . and I couldn't be more happy. As usual, the timing sucked, but I wasn't going to dwell on that. And I didn't want to push her to be more than . . . well, whatever we were right now. But someday, I would marry that girl, and we would wake up like this everyday.

Sticking her head inside the door, Bella said, "Bathroom's free. I'm going downstairs." I nodded then she retreated to the hall, and I listened as she padded down the steps. Stretching once again, I finally hauled my ass out of bed and reached down to grab my bag to take to the bathroom with me when I heard, "Morning, Jake. Sleep well?"

My heart began racing as soon as I heard Charlie's voice. I turned slowly to see him standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, arms crossed over his chest. Nervously, I shifted the bag in front of me to cover my morning wood, then I cleared my throat and answered, "Um, morning, Charlie."

"You didn't answer my question, son. Did you sleep well?"

"Um, yes sir, thank you, I did." _Please don't look so guilty, please don't look so guilty_, I pleaded with myself.

Charlie nodded then his eyes narrowed as he asked, "Look, Jake, I like you, you know that, right?"

"I hope so. I like you, too."

Looking me dead in the eye, he said, "I know you've already gotten my daughter pregnant, but it doesn't mean I approve of you sleeping here with her, especially with her being married to someone else."

"Uh-huh," I squeaked.

"I think maybe she should rectify that situation before she moves on with you, don't you?"

I found my voice enough to spit out hurriedly, "Yes, sir, I do and I hope she will soon. I want you to know that I do intend to marry her. Not just because she's having my baby, but because I love her and I can't live without her." _Oh my God, Jake, calm down. _I thought my heart would beat right out of my chest. I've know Charlie all my life, and usually got along with him really well. But right now, I felt like I could pee my pants at any second.

That's when I saw a smile play at Charlie's lips and a few crinkles appeared around his eyes. "Good. I want you to marry my little girl, Jake. I think you can make her happy. When the time is right, you come and talk to me about it, OK?"

I nodded like one of those stupid bobbleheads you see is someone's back car window and uttered, "Yes, sir. I will."

"Alright. Until that time, maybe you should sleep at home."

"Uh, that might be a problem, see . . . Dad and I kind of had a fight last night, and I . . . packed up my stuff and came here."

Charlie looked surprised at that. "You and Billy had a fight? You two never fight. What happened?"

"Well, it has to do with Bella . . . and Carly. There's more shit we haven't told you about and it has to do with me, and my dad and . . . our tribe."

"Oh this has to be good. Let's head down to breakfast and you can tell me all about it while I have my morning coffee. Something tells me I'm going to need it." And with that he stepped back and held his hand out in front of him to invite me to go first. I nodded as I dropped my bag, grabbed my shorts and jerked them up over my boxers then proceeded downstairs in front of him, hoping Bella was ready for this.

_A/N: Mmmm, Jacob sleeping over. Too soon? I don't think so. We've waited 29 chapters for them to get together again! Hope you all enjoyed it. There will be more, I promise._


	32. Chapter 31

**CHAPTER 31**

**Bella POV:**

Hearing footsteps outside the kitchen, I threw over my shoulder to Jake, "I thought you were going to shower first?"

"Morning, Bells," Dad said as he walked over to the cupboard to take out a coffee up making me jump before adding, "Look who I found in your room . . . in his underwear," he announced with a nod towards Jake.

I whipped around to face Dad and stutter, "Oh, um, yeah, I thought you knew . . . remember last night, I said . . . "

"Yes, I remember," Charlie said calmly as he poured coffee into his cup. "And I agreed for last night. But, Jake and I talked, and we decided that until you get your marriage taken care of, maybe it's not such a good idea to have him sleep over."

"Dad, really . . . this isn't the middle ages, you know. I _am_ having his baby. Besides we all know that my marriage was a mistake, and believe me, I will be taking care of it as soon as I can . . . "

"Bella? Pancakes!" Jacob said suddenly.

Squealing, "Oh, no!" I quickly turned around to flip the pancakes then mutter, "Shit. They're burned," as I saw how black they were before scooping them off of the griddle and into the trash. "Sorry about that. I'll make more."

Charlie pulled a kitchen chair out to sit down as he said, "Well, Jake here is going to tell me why he ran away from home last night. Something about a fight with Billy."

I shot Jake a wary glance as I poured more batter onto the griddle. "Are you sure about that Jacob?" I asked.

With a shrug, Jacob answered, "Might as well get it over with."

"Well, here, eat some of these pancakes first, before they get cold," I insisted as I set a platter piled high on the table in front of Charlie and Jacob. They both dug in, putting a stack on the plate in front of each of them, and adding butter and syrup.

"You want coffee, Jake, or milk or juice?"

"Um, coffee, please." I smiled at that as I got a cup from the cupboard and reached for the coffee pot. Jacob hardly ever drank coffee, but I realized he didn't want to look like a kid in front of my dad. I set it in front of him, along with the milk and sugar, as I knew he usually had to doctor it up to drink it.

"Thanks," he said with his mouthful of pancakes.

I finished with the batter then sat down to join them for breakfast. They had been eating quietly until Dad finished then looked at Jacob as he slid his empty plate away from him and said, "So, let's hear your story, Jake."

Putting his fork down as he looked at me, Jacob cleared his throat then asked Dad, "Do you remember hearing my dad say how our tribe was descended from wolves?"

Charlie gave him a look over his coffee cup and asked, "Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"It has everything to do with this because . . . well, it's true. You remember how Bella told you about Edward and the Cullens? About them being vampires?" Dad nodded slightly as he sipped his coffee, and Jake went on, "Because of them living here, some of us in our tribe who have inherited the gene from our ancestors, can turn into wolves to protect the tribe from vampires. I am one of them. Actually, I am the Alpha, or the leader of the pack, because I come from the leaders of the tribe . . . the Blacks."

I watched Dad as Jacob talked and I could tell he thought it was a load of crap. Jacob must have seen that, too, as he turned to me and said, "I think he's going to need a demonstration."

Immediately, I shook my head. "No, Jake. I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Sure it is, Bells," Dad interjected. "If Jake can turn into a wolf, I certainly want to see that," he said, his lip twitching with a teasing smile.

As Jacob walked out the back door, Dad and I got up from the table to follow and I sighed, "Alright. Just be prepared and don't have a heart attack or anything."

"Right," Dad chuckled as he closed the door behind us. Jacob was standing in the back yard unzipping his shorts when Dad called out, "Whoa, what the hell are you doing?"

"Sorry, but I can't afford to shred anymore clothes."

With a roll of his eyes, he glanced over at me and said, "Can you at least turn around or something?"

My hands went to my stomach where my baby was growing as I said, "Dad, I've already seen . . . "

I stopped as Dad put his hand up to say, "I don't care. I don't want to think how that baby got there, Bells. Just humor me and turn around, OK?"

After throwing a smile to Jacob, I turned around and called out, "OK, go for it Jake!"

"Alright, here goes," Jacob called back then the next thing I heard was Dad holler out, "HOLY SHIT!"

I whipped around in time to see Jacob standing there proudly as the Alpha wolf, just as beautiful as his human counterpart. I looked at Dad and asked, "You OK?"

His eyes were huge as he stuttered, "W-what the hell . . . was that? Is that really . . . Jake?"

I nodded as Jacob slowly made his way toward us. "He won't hurt us. He only hurts vampires. And not the Cullens, because they feed only on animals, but there are those vampires that come through occasionally that do kill humans, and believe me, these wolves are deadly when they have to be."

"You've seen them . . . kill vampires?" Dad choked out, never taking his eyes from Jacob.

"Unfortunately, yes, I have. And I've seen the Cullens kill other vampires."

"Oh my God, Bella," Dad cried out as he turned to me. "What the hell has been going on around here? How have you kept this all such a secret from me?"

"It hasn't been easy, believe me," I admitted with a small smile as Jacob stood at my side. I reached out and ran my hand down his neck as he bumped me with his head. I looked into Jake's beautiful eyes as I said, "Jacob has done his part to keep me safe. In fact, before I knew what he was, he killed a vampire that was about to kill me. He saved my life for the first time that day."

I tore my eyes from Jacob's to look at Dad, who now, looked a little pale, then I suggested that Jake phase back. "I think he believes you now."

"Uh, yeah, I guess I do," Dad stammered as Jacob trotted out into the yard. In a matter of seconds, Jake phased back from the almighty wolf, and into his glorious human body. I didn't bother to turn my back this time, and Dad was too shocked to say anything. I watched as Jacob pulled on his shorts then I pushed Dad toward the back door.

Once we were all settled at the table again, and Dad had a fresh cup of coffee in front of him, Jacob began his tale. He explained how they patrol the reservation and their vow to keep humans, all humans, safe from vampires, and about the treaty with the Cullens. That led to Carly, and how the Tribal Council deemed her a breach of the treaty, and to the punishment of banishment then to the fight between Billy and Jake. "It pissed me off that he left me completely out of the decision, and then when it was made, he never even had the guts to tell me!"

"But, Jake, I understand why he did that. He knew with me involved you couldn't be objective . . . you were too emotionally . . . "

"That's not the point, Bella! If I am going to be the Alpha, I should have a say, damnit! Otherwise I'm just a joke. This whole Alpha thing was his idea, not mine, you know that, and now that I have stepped up and accepted it, he treats me like I'm some dumb kid."

Reaching over to take his hand in mine, I told him, "You're not a joke, Jacob, or just a dumb kid. The other pack members respect and love you . . . I could tell that last night when Embry, Seth and Leah were here. Leah especially. I know how she feels about me, but she came last night when I needed help out of her respect for you, as her friend and as her leader."

A small smile played at his lips before he said, "Yeah, I know. I was kind of shocked to find her here myself."

Looking into Jacob's eyes, I forgot for a moment that Dad was sitting at the table with us until he asked, "Did something happen here last night that I need to know about? Why did you need help, Bella?"

Taking a deep breath, I explained to Dad who the Volturi were and why they visited me. "Seth came in wolf form to protect me while Jake was gone, and he never wavered. Then Embry and Leah showed up, and Demetri and Felix left. They just wanted information, and I really had none to give them."

Dad's head fell into hands as he mumbled, "My God, what a nightmare."

I had to smile as I looked over at Jacob to say, "Yeah, sometimes it is. But then, there are the times when life is like a dream . . . a very good dream."

Without thinking, Jake leaned in to kiss me . . . the first time he ever did that in front of Dad. As we lingered, Dad cleared his throat to say, "Well, Jake, I can see that you love my daughter very much, and I thank you for all you've done for her . . . keeping her safe and all. I guess it's good to know she's in good hands."

"Yes, I am," I smiled in agreement as I turned back to Jacob. "And, I love him, too . . . very much."

"OK, OK . . . look, I need to get back into the station to finish the paperwork on this then move onto some other things. I'm going upstairs to shower," Dad announced as he pushed in his chair. "Thanks for breakfast, Bells, and . . . even though it's hard to hear and even harder to believe, I thank you both for finally being honest with me."

I stood up to hug Dad before he could leave the kitchen then he winked at Jake and walked out of the room and up the stairs. I turned to Jacob and said, "That went well . . . I think."

Jacob smiled as he drew me down to sit on his lap. "Yeah. Before we came downstairs, Charlie told me that he wants me to marry you, but I have to talk to him when the time comes. And he feels that until you end your marriage, I should sleep at home. I guess he's right, but . . . I'm not sure how to go home now."

Dropping a kiss on Jacob's head, I told him, "I wish you could just stay here. I really like you being here."

"Me, too."

We sat like that for a few minutes, then I finally pushed myself off of his lap to start clearing the table. Jacob joined in and we were doing the dishes by the time Dad came down dressed in his uniform to leave for work. "Alright, I'm off to the station. Call me if you need anything, or hear anything different, OK?" Dad said to me.

"I'll be fine. Have a good day."

With a wave goodbye, Dad walked out the back door to his cruiser and was soon gone. Jacob and I finished the dishes and then I announced that I needed a shower. I smiled as a wicked grin curved onto Jacob's face and he said, "I need a shower, too. Would you like company?"

Not giving me anytime to answer, Jacob pulled me up into his arms then took the stairs two at a time, carrying me to the bathroom where he set me on my feet. After closing the door, he turned to take me into his arms again and kiss me until I couldn't breathe. I was finding that Jacob's kisses were intoxicating, and one was never enough. Our tongues danced together as our hands began to roam, and soon our clothes disappeared as Jacob whispered, "Let's get into the shower."

Nodding, I turned around to turn on the water as Jake pulled me close from behind me to rub up against my back. I loved feeling how badly he wanted me and I turned back to brazenly take him in hand. "How long have you had this?" I asked saucily.

"Since very early this morning," he smiled as he bent to kiss me again. We ravaged each other's mouths for a moment then he broke away to step into the shower, drawing me in with him.

Standing together as the water poured over us, we kissed and touched and played until Jake backed me up to the wall and pressed his hardness against me as he nipped on my shoulder with his teeth. For just a moment, I remembered interrupting Edward's shower on our honeymoon. This was what I had wanted . . . the two of us pawing each other like animals with wild abandon, no thoughts but each other . . . but it wasn't what I got. Shoving that memory away, I moaned as Jake sucked at my breast then he lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he drove inside. "Oh God . . . yes, Jake!"

I screamed his name over and over as we moved faster and faster, and then he cried out, "I'm going to cum!" and he did. And I did. And it was wonderful.

I was panting for air as Jake lifted me and let me slide down his body, and I clung to his strong shoulders as my legs were still a little shaky. Smiling, he kissed me again then I tugged at his hair and said, "For not much experience, we're pretty good at this," which made him laugh.

Taking turns, we washed each other's bodies and then Jake insisted on washing my hair and oh, it was so relaxing to have his fingers massage my head. Once I was shampooed and conditioned, I rinsed my hair and we climbed out of the shower to dry off. Wrapping the towel around me, I walked into my bedroom to get dressed and Jake soon followed to wrap his arms around me from behind and whisper in my ear, "I love you, Bells. This feels so perfect."

Leaning back into him, I smiled as I said, "Mmm, I know. I love you, too."

"Everything will be OK, somehow. I want you to know that. As long as we're together, everything will be OK."

I felt tears spring to my eyes at his words. It was amazing to me to be loved so much . . . I didn't deserve Jacob at all. He was so good, and so kind, so loving and I was once again being selfish. He should be at school right now, and he had his Alpha duties, and yet, here he was, babysitting me so I wouldn't fall apart. I had to find a way to be stronger. I didn't want our relationship to be all about me.

I turned in his arms to say, "Jacob, you're right. Everything will be OK, but some things have to change. I love you, so much, but I don't want to continue being so selfish. I have monopolized your time, taking you away from things that you need to do, and it has to stop. So, today, you are going to go home and talk to your dad. You know that you hate being mad at him, and I hate being the reason for your fight."

"Come on, Bella, stop taking the blame for everything . . . you know why I was pissed . . ."

"Yes, I do, but it doesn't matter. You are going to talk to him and find some way to get past this. Your dad needs you, Jacob. And whether you want to admit it or not, you need him." I knew I was right by the look in his eye I caught right before he dropped his head. "And that's not all," I continued. "Tomorrow, you are going back to school. Period."

Jake's head popped up at that and I could see his anger before I heard it. "Damnit, Bella! I am so sick and tired of everyone telling me what I should do!" he spit out as he dropped his hands from me to step back. "You all treat me like I'm some little kid who's too stupid to know what to do. I'm 17 not 7! Dad wants me to be the fucking Alpha, yet he won't let me make any big decisions. Paul is constantly throwing in my face how he doesn't respect me because he thinks I'm some coddled snot-nosed brat, and you keep harping on me about going to school! I can't take it anymore, Bella. You're all driving me fucking crazy!" As his rant ended, he stepped over to grab his bag off the floor and walk out of the room to the bathroom, where I heard him slam the door.

I sunk down onto the bed and suddenly felt horrible. He was right. Didn't I hate being so controlled by Edward and Alice? Being told what to wear, and what to drive, and being held hostage, supposedly for my own safety . . . it was demeaning. Didn't I hate being told what to do like I was a child? And here I was doing the same thing to him. Jacob wasn't a child . . . far from it. I think he had just proven that in the shower. I had to start treating him like the man I loved and not the kid who was just my best friend.

With a deep sigh, I stood and walked to the bathroom to apologize. Just as I raised my hand to knock, the door jerked open and I cried out as Jacob ran right into me, and I grabbed at his t-shirt so I wouldn't fall.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry. Are you OK?" Jacob asked anxiously as he grabbed my arms to keep me from falling.

Finding it very funny for some reason, I laughed as I nodded. "Yes, I'm fine."

Joining me, Jake laughed as he hugged me. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"No, Jake. I'm sorry. You were right. I was treating you like a child, and I hated when Edward did that to me, and I was wrong." I pulled back to look up at him. "You make your own decisions, Jacob. You decide what's best for you, and I will be there to support you, not judge you. I won't treat you like a child, if you won't treat me like a child. Deal?"

His smile told me how much he appreciated my understanding. "Deal. And the same goes for you, although, there will be some decisions that we will have to make together. We are going to be parents, you know."

I smiled at that. "Yeah, I know. "

Leaning down to touch his forehead to mine, Jacob said, "I hate fighting with you."

"Me, too."

Then a wicked smile appeared on his face as he asked, "Do we get to have make-up sex now?"

That made me laugh as I replied, "Are you going to pick fights with me now just so we can have make-up sex?"

"Maybe."

Before we could carry that conversation any further, my cell phone started ringing. "I better get that," I told him as I left to run into my bedroom and grab the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello, Bella, it's Alice. I just wanted you to know that Jasper and I did a sweep of the area, and everything is clear."

I sunk down onto the bed to stop my legs from shaking_. Would I get like this every time the phone rang from now on? _"Oh, OK, thanks. Um, have you . . . seen anything yet? About Aro? The Volturi?"

"No, I haven't. Carlisle is still in Italy, and with Carly in hiding, the vision of them coming here has vanished for the time being."

"Well, that's good, I guess."

There was an awkward silence between us until Alice said, "We will be at the house if you need anything."

"Thanks, Alice, but I'm fine. The pack is looking out for me, so you don't need to stay," I replied somewhat aloof. After realizing she was never really the friend I thought she was, there was no reason to pretend that we actually meant anything to each other.

"Alright, if that's the way you want it," she replied just as coolly.

"Yes, that's the way I want it. Goodbye, Alice." I hung up the phone and dropped it onto the bed then looked up at Jake.

He smiled as he stepped over to sit beside me and say, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I realized the other day that Alice was really never the friend she wanted me to think she was. I was so stupid to think . . . well, it doesn't matter. I don't need them hanging around just because they were ordered to. I have you, and the pack, and I don't need them." The only Cullen I really needed was Carly. A pang hit my heart as I thought of her again. Even though I was trying to keep going, she was never very far from my thoughts.

Having nothing more to say about the subject, we sat there silently lost in our thoughts for a moment until Jacob said, "Well, I guess I better head home to talk to Dad."

I turned to him to say, "Good idea."

Then Jake smiled as he added, "But not because you told me to."

I chuckled at that then leaned over to kiss him softly on the lips. "Good. I don't want a hen-pecked boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? Are you calling me your . . . boyfriend?" Jake asked with a sly smile.

I met his smile with one of my own. "Yeah, I guess I am. Sounds better than 'baby daddy,' don't you think?"

"I don't know . . . I kind of like being your baby daddy," he said with a leer as he pushed me back onto the bed to lean over me, hovering just over my lips. "You know it would be very easy for me to open this towel and have my way with you," he whispered.

"Are you saying you don't think I would put up a fight?" I asked.

I watched in gleeful anticipation as his head inched lower then sighed as he lightly kissed my lips then my cheek and down to my ear where he whispered, "Would you?"

As I felt that rush of arousal run straight to my core, I smiled and whispered back, "What do you think?"

Smiling, Jacob's hand moved to where the towel was tucked under my arm and said, "I think that my dad can wait awhile."


	33. Chapter 32

**CHAPTER 32**

**Jacob POV:**

It took all the strength I had to drag myself out of Bella's bed, put my ass in my car and drive home to La Push. Being with Bella was everything I ever wanted, and now that I could hold her and kiss her and have sex with her . . . I never wanted to leave her. Being away from her was hard before, it was killing me now. But I really needed to talk to my dad . . . I needed to find a way to forgive him for hurting me like he did. I know he didn't do it on purpose. I'm sure he really thought he was doing the right thing by protecting me. Must be a dad thing. I would probably understand that one day very soon.

The closer I got to La Push though, the more I lost my nerve. I found myself driving instead to the Clearwater's house where I parked in the drive and shut off the engine with a sigh. I sat there for a few minutes, feeling like a fucking baby, then I finally climbed out of the car and walked up the drive to knock on Leah's front door.

She greeted me with a hesitant, "Hey, Jake. What's up?"

"Uh, I just needed to talk. Is that OK?"

"Yeah, sure. Why not?"

Leah stepped back to allow me to walk by her as I asked, "You here all alone?"

As she closed the door, she explained, "Mom is at work and Seth is still at school then he'll take over patrol from Paul, unless you want him to go to Bella's. Why? Something wrong?"

I plopped down onto the couch to say, "Yes and no." She gave me a curious look as she sat down beside me, so I explained, "Yes, between me and Bella, things couldn't be better." I couldn't stop the grin from spreading across my face as I said, "We had sex . . . um more than once."

Leah chuckled at that. "Look at you, all grown up, and having sex."

"Yeah, in her bed, in the shower . . . man, it was all I could do to put my clothes on and leave her today. I would stay in bed with her forever if I could," I told her, the huge grin still planted on my face.

"Now you sound like Embry. Once you get sex, it's all you guys ever think about," Leah insisted.

"Please, I've seen inside your head. You think about it, too. A lot!"

Now there was a grin on Leah's face as she admitted, "Yeah, OK, you got me. So, you're all sexed up, what's the problem?"

With a sigh, the grin disappeared as I said, "My dad." Then I proceeded to tell her about the fight I had with him, concluding with how I packed up and walked out. "Now how can I run home with my tail between my legs? Here I am accusing him of treating me like a little kid, and what do I do? I pack up and run away from home. I feel like such a fucking idiot."

Before Leah could answer, the back door burst open and we heard Embry call out, "Baby, you better be wet and ready cause my cock is hard as a rock and ready to . . . " Then he noticed Leah wasn't alone as he stopped and added sheepishly, "Oh, hey, Jake."

As Leah dropped her head in embarrassment, my grin reappeared as I asked, "Uh, am I spoiling the party? Real romantic, by the way, Em."

Finally lifting her head, Leah said to Embry, "Hi, honey. We have company."

Embry slid into the chair by the sofa to reply, "Uh, yeah. I see that. What's up?"

"Apparently, you are," I said with a laugh as Embry adjusted himself then shot back, "Have been all day. You would be too if you had a hot girlfriend like I have."

"I do, bro. And I just had sex less than an hour ago."

Embry's eyes shot up at that before he cried out, "It's about fucking time!" and held up his hand for a high five. We slapped in mid air then Embry asked, "Was it hot?"

"Oh yeah . . . especially in the shower."

"One of my personal favorites . . . "

Clearing her throat, Leah interrupted us. "OK, boys, now that locker room time is over, why don't we get back to why Jake is here?"

"Yeah, why are you here?" Embry asked.

After filling him in, Leah turned back to me and said, "Look, Jake. You are going to have to go home and stand up to your dad. Tell him that as the Alpha, you demand to be included on Tribal Council meetings and have a say in all decisions that have to do with the pack. You don't want to be treated like a kid, then don't act like one. You're going to be a dad in a few months. It's time to grow up."

"I know. It's amazing how much my life has changed in the last few months. It's kind of hard to catch up, you know? When I was running wolf, all I had to worry about was where my next meal was coming from. The only one I had to take care of was me. Now, I've got Bella and the baby, and the pack, and the whole fucking tribe to worry about! It's kind of overwhelming."

As I leaned back into the couch cushions, Leah leaned back, too, to say, "I know. I get that, and in a way, I feel for you. But remember, I am here to help."

Turning my head to look at her, I told her, "But I've dumped so much on you already! And Bella keeps harping on me to go back to school. How can I be the Alpha, and go to school, and run patrols, and see Bella? I am overwhelmed, and I just don't see any way to deal with all of this shit. Something has to go and I think it should be school, but how can I get a job if I drop out? I've gotta find a job to provide for my kid . . . "

"Jake, stop!" Leah interjected. "One thing at a time, OK?" I sighed and nodded and closed my eyes, wishing more than anything that I could find some balance in my life. "Right now, concentrate on talking to your dad. You can do it right now, or if you want some more time, take it and crash here for awhile. Mom won't care. You can sleep in Seth's room, or here on the couch. But take that problem and solve it first then move on to the next one. Stop thinking about solving everything all at once."

I smiled as I looked over at Leah then I looked at Embry. "You are a lucky son of a bitch, you know that? This is one helluva girl. I don't know where I would be without her around."

Embry grinned at that before agreeing. "I hear that. I know how great she is. Makes me wonder what the hell she's doing with me."

Leah pushed away from the couch to sit on Embry's lap and say, "I am the lucky one. You brought me back to life. You make me feel pretty and sexy and loved . . . " she stopped to kiss him on the mouth then she finished with, "and I never want to know what life would be like without you."

And with that, Embry pulled her close and claimed her mouth in a passionate kiss that I really shouldn't be here to witness. I was amazed to see the change in Leah . . . gone was the harpy who hated everyone and everything, and here was the real Leah, the one who cared about others and loved to feel needed. "Well, I have taken up enough of your time, you two," I announced as I stood to leave. "I will get out of here and give you some time to take care of . . . um, things."

They broke apart and Leah jumped up to catch me at the door. "Jake, wait." I turned and she put her arms around me and said, "Things will be OK. Just take it one thing at a time, and know that you have friends that will stand by you."

As I held my best friend, I was very thankful for her. "Thanks, Leah." I let her go, waved to Embry and closed the door behind me. I was very lucky to have the friends I had. I guess it was time to grow up and make some decisions and hope to hell that everyone could live with them.

"Dad? You home?" I called out as I entered the house. It was strangely quiet for four in the afternoon. As I walked into the now neat and tidy little kitchen, I found a note from Dad telling Rachel he was fishing with Quil, Sr. and would be home for supper.

So, where was Rachel, I wondered as I made my way back to my room to throw my bag onto the floor by the dresser. Probably with Paul, I realized, like always. Imprints were always together, like they were tied together with a giant string or something. Sinking down onto the old, worn mattress, I looked around and thought how ridiculous my life had become. I was 17 years old, and instead of going to high school and playing on some sports team to impress cheerleaders like a normal teenage male, I was the Alpha of a wolf pack, in training to become the leader of a whole fucking tribe! And, I had a pregnant girlfriend, no job and no where else to live except this tiny little room in my father's house. _God, what a loser._

Throwing myself backward, I stared up at the cracked ceiling and began dissecting my life to find what should go and what should stay. What did _I_ really want? I knew what I wanted more than anything was to marry Bella and live with her and our baby. I would do anything to make that a reality. That was definitely priority one.

As for being the Alpha, I had to admit I really hated it. I never wanted it, and I only took it to make my dad happy. Even though it was my birth right and my destiny, for some reason, it just didn't feel . . . _right._ I remember the feeling I had when I stood up to Sam and Paul . . . that strength that surged through my body . . . it was amazing, and I could see how it could be addicting if I gave myself over to it completely. But something was always holding me back . . .

I could be a good Alpha, I knew I could, if I wanted it. The problem was, I didn't. I never wanted to be a wolf, let alone the leader. Maybe it was wrong to feel this way, but I couldn't help it. It's not that I'm not proud of my Quileute heritage, I am. I am proud to be a part of this tribe, and proud of my ancestors, but . . . I didn't want to be defined by an ancient birthright. I wanted to be my own man. _Was that wrong? Shouldn't I be proud to be the Alpha? If it was my destiny, shouldn't I want to serve and do the best job I could? _

The funny thing is, if this was my destiny, if Dad knew all along that this could happen, why didn't he train me? Why didn't he help me know what to do? Why didn't Sam? It was just thrown on me, like I should know instinctively how to do the job.

_Could I get Sam to take it back? Could I walk away from it? _I wasn't sure, but I knew now that I had to find out. I was only 17, and I needed some time to figure out who I was on my own. Especially now that I was going to be a father in a few months.

Before I could go any further, I heard the door open and Rachel call out, "Jacob? Are you here?" I wondered for a minute how she knew, then I realized my car was parked outside. I hardly drove it anymore, so it was easy to forget about it.

"Yeah, in my room!" I called back.

Soon, Rachel appeared at my door to say softly, "Welcome home." She must have been with Paul . . . her eyes were bright and she looked like she was really happy and content. I guess that made me happy for her, but I wished it was because of anyone other than Paul.

I sat up and sighed as I ran my hand through my hair. "So, Dad told you."

Nodding, she walked in to sit beside me on the bed. "Yeah, he told me about your fight. He's hurt, you know. He loves you so much . . . "

"I know that. I love him, too. But, things are just so fucked up right now," I told her. "I never wanted to be the Alpha, you know. I did it for him. And for some reason, he still looks at me like his little boy, and not the almighty leader I'm supposed to be. Of course, I really haven't been that great of a leader," I finished, hanging my head.

"Oh Jacob," Rachel sighed as she put her arm over my shoulders. "Life hasn't been easy for you, I know. Losing mom when you were so little then Rebecca and I both left you here alone to take care of Dad . . . it wasn't right. But asking you to take on all of this at 17, well, that's just fucking unfair." Smiling I turned to her as she continued, "Now you are expecting a baby of your own in a few months and you haven't even had a chance to graduate high school. I can understand why you're just a little overwhelmed."

"A little," I huffed. "I'm drowning here."

"I know. What can I do to help? There has to be something. I owe you, for a lot of years. I'll do whatever I can."

"Thanks, sis, I appreciate that. But, I think I need some time to work through some of this and make some decisions then I'll let you know, OK?"

Rachel nodded then leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. "OK, little brother, but I meant what I said. Don't forget."

"I won't."

"So, how is Bella? Did she find her baby?"

Shaking my head, I filled her in on everything. "She's decided for now that Edward is keeping Carly safe, and she just has to accept that."

"Wow," Rachel breathed. "I gotta give her credit. I don't know that I could do that."

"It's not easy for her, believe me. It's not easy for me either. I wanted to hunt down the son of a bitch and help Bella bring Carly home, but she's decided that doing that would be selfish and not what's best right now for Carly. She's learning how to be strong for her daughter, and I admire her for that. I want to be that, too, for her."

Rachel just stared at me for a minute with this sly smile on her face until I asked, "What?"

With a shake of her head she told me, "I'm amazed sometimes at how grown up you really are. I keep expecting this little kid to run through here with a snake in his hand trying to scare me. I'm just not used to the man you are now. I'm proud of you, Jacob."

That meant a lot to me. I had that place inside where I needed to please my Dad and Rachel, more than anyone else, and it felt good to hear her say it. "Thanks, Rach. That really means alot," I said as I folded her into my arms for a hug.

I heard her sniff a couple of times and I caught her wiping her eyes as she pulled away to say, "So, you must be hungry. I'll go start dinner, OK?"

"Sure, sure," I said as she pushed herself off of the bed and made her way to the door. "Rach?" She stopped to turn around and I told her, "I know it hasn't been easy for you being back here, but . . . I'm really glad you're home."

Rachel's whole face lit up with her smile as she replied, "Believe it or not, I'm finally glad to be here. I've realized it's where I belong." And with that, she walked down the hall to the kitchen where I soon heard the gentle banging of pots and pans as she prepared to make dinner for us.

I heard Dad come home right as Rachel called out, "Jake! Time for dinner!" Pushing myself from the bed, I took a deep breath then walked out to the kitchen to say, "Hi, Dad."

"Hello, Son. Good to see you," he returned warmly as he wheeled toward the sink to wash his hands.

"Catch anything?" I asked. Not that I really cared . . . I just wanted to avoid the subject that hung between us.

Drying his hands on the towel Rachel handed him, he replied, "Not much." He rolled to his spot at the table as Rachel and I sat down. We quietly took turns loading food onto our plates then we began eating as Dad announced quietly, "Quil told me that someone bought the old gift shop that sits by the gas station. Not sure what they are going to do with it."

"Really? I always thought that place was tacky," Rachel commented. "I hope they fix it up a little. This town could use some sprucing up."

It grew quiet again as we ate and I wondered how long this would go on until Dad asked, "So, Jake, did Bella hear anything about the baby?"

And there it was. _Time to be a man, Jake._ "Yes, Edward finally called last night. He told her that Alice had a vision of the Volturi coming here to take Carly to Italy to study her. They left immediately to hide her. We don't know how long they will be gone. Carlisle has gone to Italy to see what he can do."

Dad made no real comment. "Hmmm," was all he said.

"Dad, look, I'm sorry for the way I left last night. I accused you of treating me like a child then I acted like one. I won't do that again."

That brought a slight smile to his eyes. "I'm sorry, too, Jacob. I did treat you like a child and that was wrong of me. I guess you will know soon enough that when you're a parent, it's hard to realize when to back off and let that child grow up. I really didn't want to see you get hurt, but I guess you did just the same."

"Look, I have some things to work through, and some decisions that I have to make. There are some things in my life that are going to have to change . . . I just can't handle all of this shit. Give me a little time then I would like to sit down and talk, OK?"

Nodding, he said, "Of course, son. Anytime."

"Thanks." Pushing myself away from the table, I turned to Rachel to say, "Thanks for dinner, Rach. It was really good."

"You're welcome," she beamed as she stood to take my empty plate.

As I stood, I announced, "I have to run a patrol and then I have some other things I need to take care of. I'll see you both tomorrow."

"Alright. Be careful," Rachel returned.

"Always am," I assured her as I pushed my chair in. Then, leaving the kitchen I walked out the front door to make my way to the woods. I wanted to tell Dad that I had decided to give up being Alpha, but of course, I chickened out. Damnit! When was I going to grow up enough to be able to stand up to my own father? Peeling out of my shorts, I decided that I would take the next couple of days to make my decisions then on Sunday, I would inform everyone of them. It was time to take control of my own destiny. It was time to grow-up and be a man.

As I walked into the wood to find a place to phase, I thought of Leah. She would definitely not be happy bout me quitting . . . especially if Sam took over again. Stopping in my tracks, I sighed as I rubbed my forehead. I wanted her to stay in her position as Beta. She deserved that . . . she had been doing a great job, and just because I was walking away, didn't mean she should have to give up something she was so good at. Maybe I could talk Sam into keeping her . . . but would Leah agree without killing me? Or Sam? Was there any way possible for them to work together? I would have to talk to Leah first and let her know what I was thinking. There was no way I wanted her to hear it from anyone else. I only hope I survived it.

Exhaling, I yanked my shorts off and knelt down to tie them to my ankle. Suddenly I was in a hurry to run my patrol and get back to Bella. Even though I knew Charlie wanted me to sleep at home, I wanted more than anything to sleep with Bella in my arms. It was the only place I could completely relax and be happy. I only hoped she left the window open a crack for me.


	34. Chapter 33

**CHAPTER 33**

**Bella POV:**

I finally got myself dressed after Jacob left and I couldn't believe how good I felt. After months of holding back my feelings for Jake, I could now let them out and act on them. That passion that always had to be shoved down was now bubbling over and I could admit to myself how much I loved having sex with Jacob! He made me feel so good . . . so sexy and pretty and so . . . loved. This was what I had been longing for. This was what I needed, and even though the timing sucked, I couldn't help but be relieved that I didn't have to hide it anymore.

After making the bed, I gathered up my laundry and headed downstairs to throw it into the washer. I also had to admit how good it felt to be back home. Living at the Cullens had never felt right. And never doing laundry or cooking or cleaning . . . it just wasn't the lifestyle for me. I liked taking care of this house and my dad. I liked being . . . needed.

After loading the washer, I cleaned up the clutter around the house and ran the vacuum cleaner. As I was putting it back into the closet, there was a knock on the front door. "I wonder who that could be," I said to myself as I left the kitchen to answer it. I opened the door to find a man there with a huge manila envelope addressed to _Isabella M. Cullen_. "Sign here, please," he asked politely, and after I handed him back the electronic clipboard, he smiled, handed me the envelope and said, "Have a nice day."

Curiously, I turned the package over and noticed it was from some lawyer in Port Angeles. I ripped open one end of the envelope and pulled out a sheaf of papers to see written at the top, _DIVORCE DECREE. _"Oh my God . . . it's divorce papers . . . from Edward."

Sinking down onto the couch, I started to read through the papers and was amazed at how tidy he had wrapped everything up. "He must have done this that day he was gone," I mumbled as I turned the page. Edward had signed over the SUV he bought for me to keep or sell, and he deposited $200,000 into a bank in Forks for me as a settlement! I couldn't believe it. Why would he do that? He knows I didn't marry him for his money. But that wasn't all. As for Carly, according to this decree, Edward would have full custody of her and I would be allowed visitation at his discretion. My heart fell as I re-read that paragraph over an over. _At his discretion_ . . . _how could he do this to me?_

After reading the letter from the lawyer, I realized all I had to do was sign it in the places marked, mail it back, and it was done . . . over. My marriage to Edward would be officially dissolved. That is, if I agreed to everything in it. _Did I? _The car and the money were ridiculous. I never cared about those things, and it seemed absurd for him to include them in the divorce. All I cared about was Carly, and for him to take full custody . . . that really hurt.

But as I thought harder about it, I guess it made sense. For right now, anyway. Sighing, I had to admit to myself that she was better off with him. Carly was a special child with special needs and she would always need to be near Carlisle, just in case. And I couldn't teach her to hunt or get blood for her . . . she would always need them more than me.

Sitting back, I let the papers fall to my lap as I thought about the last few months. All that planning, all those nights dreaming of being with Edward for eternity . . . now here are papers that with my signature, would erase it all. I closed my eyes for a moment, as I thought how my life was moving so fast all of a sudden . . . getting married, getting pregnant, having Carly, and now, being with Jacob and getting divorced, all in the last couple of months. It was all so surreal, like I was watching it all rush before my eyes and I couldn't do anything to slow it down. I remember telling Edward not too long ago that I felt like I was on a runaway train. Well, now was the time to stop the train and get off. I needed to take control of my life now and never let it go again. After all, I was the one that asked for the divorce in the first place.

Laying the papers onto the coffee table, I decided I would let them sit there for awhile until I was sure about my decision to sign them. I knew I didn't want to be married to Edward anymore, and I hoped I could trust him to let me see Carly, but I didn't want to rush into this without some thought on it.

Realizing that the washer had stopped, I got up to shove the laundry into the dryer then moved to the kitchen to see what I had to cook for dinner. I needed to think about normal life things instead of life-changing things for awhile.

Later that night, after dinner, Dad and I sat down and we talked about the divorce. Of course, he didn't even try to hide his feelings about it. "You know how I feel, kiddo. Never should have happened in the first place. I say the sooner it's over the better."

"Yeah, no shock there. But, to give him full custody of Carly . . . I feel it's the right thing to do, but it's hard to actually do it. I feel like I'm giving my child away."

"I remember when your mom and I got divorced," Dad started softly. "Killed me to sign that paper and know that you wouldn't be living here with me anymore." I looked at him and could see the pain in his eyes at that admission. He had never told me that before. "But, I knew it was best for you to be with your mom. I had no idea how to take care of a little girl all by myself, and so . . . off you went."

"I'm sorry, Dad."

With a smile he asked, "Why are you sorry? It wasn't your fault. You mom and I, well . . . we tried, but I guess I wasn't enough for her. She always felt like she was missing out on something, you know? I don't know what, but, well, I guess she's happy now." Again, I saw the pain in his eyes, and it cut right through me. Suddenly I was pissed at my mom for doing this to him, for not loving him enough and for leaving him, and then it hit me . . . _is this how Carly will feel about me someday? Would she hate me for causing her father pain and giving her away?_

As I looked up at Dad, I guess he could tell by the look on my face what I was thinking. "Bella, look. I did the right thing by letting you and your mom go. She wasn't happy here, and for her to be a good mom for you, I had to let her go. I've done alright here, and you came to visit. Not as often as I would have liked, but, well, we lived so far apart. Once this all blows over and Edward settles down, hopefully you will live close enough to see her all the time. Don't base your decision on what happened between me and your mother all those years ago. You don't love Edward, you know you don't. You love Jacob and you should be with him. Period. Carly will be cared for and loved and someday, she will understand. Just like you do."

And then I felt the tears as they grew in the corner of my eyes. Looking at this man who was my father, I felt such love for him, and more than that . . . respect. I regretted all those lost years between us more than ever, and I vowed to never let him out of my life ever again. "Thanks, Dad," I managed to squeeze out over the huge lump in my throat. "I love you."

Never one comfortable with emotions, he surprised me by getting out of his chair and moving to sit beside me on the couch to pull me into his arms. "I love you, too, Bella. Very much. And . . . I'm glad you're back in my life."

The sniffling soon turned into sobs as I allowed my daddy to hold me in his loving arms. It was what I needed to help me make that final decision, and I was grateful to him for sensing what I needed and not being afraid to show it. Finally, I sniffed and willed myself to pull it together and leaned back to say, "Thanks, I needed that."

I could see a few tears in his eyes as he admitted, "I guess I did, too."

After wiping up with some tissues, Dad stood up to announce, "Enough of this. I'm going up to bed. It's been a rough few days and I just can't seem to get caught up on my sleep."

"I know. I'm sorry about all that."

"It's OK. Maybe you should get some sleep yourself. I still see some darkness under those pretty eyes of yours."

With a smile, I relented. "Fine. I'll go up to bed." We took the stairs together after Dad locked the doors and turned off the lights. I reached my door first and told him, "I think I'll put some music on low. Let me know if it's too loud . . . I just don't like it so quiet anymore. The Cullen house was always so . . . quiet."

"No, I don't mind. You know me. Once I'm asleep, the house could fall down around me and I wouldn't know it."

That was true. He was a heavy sleeper. "OK. Good night, Dad."

"Good night, Bells. See you in the morning." Then he walked on down the hall to his room and closed his door. I did the same then moved over to where I kept my old CD player, and turned it on to the radio. I found a station I liked then set the volume to where I could still hear it, but hopefully Dad couldn't. I really didn't care what was playing. I just needed the background noise.

Suddenly I missed Jacob and wondered if he would come back tonight even though Dad had made it known he would be more comfortable with Jake sleeping at home. Hoping that maybe he might stop by anyway, I pushed the window up a few inches just in case.

Still thinking of Jacob, I slipped out of my clothes and into the t-shirt that he left behind. I smiled as I pulled it up to my nose and inhaled his woodsy scent. "Mmmm, Jacob," I whispered to myself, remembering everything that had happened between us the night before. Just then, my cell phone started buzzing and I grabbed it from the desk to say, "Hello?"

"Hello, Bella. Did you receive the papers today?"

"Yes, Edward, I did. That was certainly quick."

"Well, you told me that was what you wanted, and since I saw no reason to drag it out, I decided to take care of it before we left. Are you in agreement on everything in the decree?"

"Not entirely. Full custody of Carly? Will I ever see her?"

"You understand the situation, Bella. For now, I feel that full custody is best. And I hope, that sometime in the future, we will be free to come and go as we like, and of course, you may see her whenever you wish."

"Look, Edward, I want you to know that I understand you are what's best for Carly. I know that I can't do things for her on my own . . . I can't get her blood, or teach her to hunt, or help her with her gift, and she needs to stay close to Carlisle. I get that. I want what's best for my daughter and even though it's killing me to be away from her, I will do what I have to do for her. So, as long as you promise that someday you will allow me to see her whenever I wish, I will agree to full custody."

"Of course I will. You are her mother after all. I won't let her forget that, I promise." That felt good to hear. I just hoped with all my heart he would keep that promise. "Thank you, Bella. It _is_ what's best for Carly. I will keep her safe . . . you can trust me on that."

"I do, but I have to ask, why the huge amount of money? Did you think you had to buy me off to get Carly?"

"Of course not. Whether you believe it or not, I still care about you, Bella, very much. I'm sure I always will, especially since you are the mother of my child. The lawyer suggested a settlement, and I agreed, only we both thought it should be more, but I knew you would have a fit." I had to smile at that. He did know me pretty well. "Maybe someday you will want to go to college, and you'll have the money to do that. Or, who knows where we will be with Carly . . . you may need the money to travel to us if we can't come to you. It's just practical for you to have it there if you need it, that's all."

I should have realized that. Edward had always been generous where I was concerned, and really, that amount of money was nothing to him. Suddenly I felt bad about accusing him of wanting to buy me off, as I mumbled, "Thank you, Edward. I'm sorry, I . . . "

"It's alright, I understand. Look, I'm sorry I can't talk long. I can't take the chance of this call being traced. I'll call again soon, I promise. Good bye, Bella."

"Good bye." I hung up the phone and sunk down onto the bed beside Jacob, who had surprised me by sneaking in through the window while I was talking. I looked over at him and sighed, "As I'm sure you guessed, that was Edward."

"I heard. What's going on?"

"I, uh, I received an envelope from a lawyer in Port Angeles today. They were divorce papers, from Edward."

The shock registered on his face then he found his voice to stutter, "How . . . when did he . . . "

"He went to Port Angeles before he left and had them drawn up."

With a shake of his head, Jacob sighed, "Wow." Then he looked at me and asked, "Are you OK?"

"Yes," I nodded. "I was pissed at first about the money, but . . . "

"Money?"

"He put $200,000 in an account for me in a bank in Forks as a settlement." Again, Jacob gave me a shocked look. "Yeah, I know. He also left me the black tank parked in my side yard to keep or sell. The signed title was in with the divorce papers."

"Bella, do you have any idea what that car is worth?" Jacob asked in awe. "It's a small fortune just in itself."

"Whatever. I hate the thing. I'll probably sell it as soon as I can."

"What about Carly?"

I closed my eyes for a moment before I let out a heavy sigh then I looked at him and answered, "Edward gets full custody."

"What?" Jacob exploded. I immediately put a finger to my lips to remind him to be quiet so my dad wouldn't hear him. He lowered his voice then continued his rant. "He can't do that! She is half yours, too. He thinks he can buy you off and take your kid? You have to fight this, Bella."

"How can I? I don't even know where they are! And let's face it, Jacob, I can't take care of her on my own. I can't get blood to feed her, or teach her to hunt, and she still needs to be close to Carlisle . . . I just can't fight it, Jake. Carly is better off with Edward. For once, I can't be selfish . . . I have to think of what is best for her. And that's Edward. That's just the way it has to be for now." As those words came out of my mouth, I thought how brave they sounded . . . I just wished I felt that brave saying them. "He said he put the money in the account for me in case I ever wanted to go to college. Or if he and Carly can't come here, and there is a chance for me to go to them to visit, I would have the money to do that. He was just being practical, I guess. And, he promised me that he would let me see Carly, and . . . I have to believe that."

"Yeah, sure," I heard Jake mutter under his breath.

"Come on, Jake. I know you hate him, but . . . I think he was telling the truth on this one. Believe it or not, Dad was the one who helped me make this decision."

"Yeah?"

"He talked about when he and Mom got divorced and how hard it was for him to let us go. But he told me he knew he was doing the right thing, and . . . I have to believe that I am, too."

Throwing his arm round my shoulders, he said, "I know even though you're trying to do the right thing here, it still hurts like hell, doesn't it?"

Jacob was right, as usual. It did hurt like hell, but I was going to be strong this time and do the right thing . . . for Carly. Nodding, I let my head fall over onto Jacob's strong shoulder.

"Bells, I love you, and I'm here for you . . . if you want to cry or if you want to yell or maybe throw another plant . . . go ahead. Or if you want to be alone, I can go. Just let me know what you need."

I sat up to look at him, and as I gazed into his dark eyes, so full of love for me, I realized there was only one thing I really needed. "You, Jake. All I need is you."

Jacob's eyes lit up as he took my face into his hands. "Well, I can do that, too," he said softly before he kissed me tenderly, making my heart melt into a puddle. "Are you wearing my shirt?" he asked as he pulled back just a little to look at me.

"Mmm, hmm. You left it here this morning."

A big smile crept onto his lips. "That's kind of hot, Bells."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he echoed as he laid me back against the pillows, leaning down to kiss me, gently at first then he became a little more aggressive as his hand brushed the tip of my breast through his shirt and I gasped. Soon our tongues tangled and I felt my heart sing. This was what I had wanted for so long . . . not just sex, but this feeling of complete and utter joy. The freedom of loving someone so completely. I wound my arms around his neck and moaned as his fingers rolled and pinched my nipple. It was wonderful and exciting and I wanted more, so much more.

I smiled at him as he tugged at the bottom of the shirt to pull it up and over my head then drop it onto the floor. "I thought you liked me wearing your shirt," I said.

"Mmm, I do, but it's getting in the way," he murmured as his lips kissed down my neck, into the hollow of my collar bone and finally lower to take that nipple into his mouth. "Oh yes," I breathed. I could feel the heat rising in my body as my heart beat louder. I let my hand drift down to tug at the zipper on his shorts, and he quickly got rid of them and laid back down beside me.

We spent time just exploring each other's bodies in a way we hadn't before. He kissed and touched everywhere, and then I took my turn. I never knew sex could be like this and I was in awe of each new sensation. Especially when Jake's hand covered my mound and then he dipped a finger inside to stroke me. I was so aroused already that I felt I could come just from that. He played a little longer until I was in a frenzy and then he moved on top of me and settled in between my legs. "I want you, I need you," he breathed into my ear.

"Yes, yes," I panted.

As Jacob pushed inside, I let out a moan as he filled me completely. I was so close to exploding as I grabbed his face and kissed him passionately. Jacob and I moved in perfect rhythm, letting the heat build between us until I broke away and cried out as my body shook with my release and he emptied into me. "Oh, yes, Jake!" Wave after wave of pure bliss crested then waned until I opened my eyes and looked into Jacob's face.

"Bella . . . you are so beautiful when you let go like that. It's amazing to watch," he said softly.

I was a little embarrassed, but I felt too good to really care too much. Jacob rolled to the side, keeping me close so that we stay connected as he wrapped his arms around me. Laying here in his arms, I felt stronger than I had in months. I knew that with Jacob by my side, I could handle anything that came along. "I love you, Jacob."

"Mmm, I love you, too."

Laying there, listening to the beat of Jacob's heart with the soft music in the background, I finally fell asleep feeling like maybe things would work out alright after all. Maybe.


	35. Chapter 34

_**A/N: Just want to thank you all for sticking with me through this story. I'm sorry that updates have slowed down. I've been writing, but now have to go back and edit. I'll keep working!**_

**CHAPTER 34**

**Jacob POV:**

I woke before the sun came up and reluctantly untangled myself from Bella. I loved sleeping with her . . . holding her all night after we made love. Sometimes I was so afraid I would wake up to find I was dreaming. Looking at her now, her face relaxed in sleep, her hair spread out on the pillow . . . I sighed and wished I didn't have to leave her, but I promised Leah I'd run the early patrol with her to give Sam and Paul a break. I rolled off the mattress slowly so as not to wake Bella, and reached for my shorts. After zipping them up, I leaned down to brush a soft kiss on Bella's forehead. Her eyes flickered open as she asked, "Are you leaving?"

"I'm on early patrol. The sun isn't even up yet. Get some more sleep, OK? I'll see you later today."

"Mmmkay. Love you," she mumbled as she rolled over and snuggled deeper under the covers.

I stood for a moment and watched her go back to sleep then I finally tore myself away to walk to the window and jump to the ground. Leaving her was always so hard, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn't avoid my other responsibilities. I had decisions to make over the next couple of days, and I hoped that when Monday came, I could start living the life I wanted, instead of the one everyone else wanted for me.

Jogging to the woods, I quickly stripped and tied my shorts to my ankle then phased on the run. It was rather quiet inside my head . . . I guess everyone was too tired to even think. Finally I heard, _"Hey, Jake."_

_"Quil? I thought you had school. Why are you out here?"_

_"I do. Jared and I offered to get up early and run patrol then go to school. We can nap after, I guess. Jared already phased out, I waited for you and Leah."_

_"Oh, well, thanks. This running patrols is hard with so many in school."_

_"Yeah. What about you? Are you done with school?"_

_"I want to be, but, I need to get a job to support my kid, you know? I don't want to look for a job as a high-school drop-out."_

_"Man, I forgot you're going to be a dad. Weird."_

_"Yeah, tell me about it."_

_"Morning, boys!" _Leah greeted us as soon as she phased in. She sure sounded chipper for this early in the morning.

_"What's up with you being so happy this early?" _I asked.

_"Why not be happy? Life is too short to waste being cranky."_

_"Are you drunk?" _Quil wanted to know.

_"No, I'm not drunk! Go to school, douche bag," _she ordered.

_"Now that sounds more like the Leah I know," _Quil quipped. _"I'm out of here. Have fun kids!" _

I felt Quil phase out then asked, Leah, _"So, what's up? What's got you in such a good mood?"_

_"Embry and I spent the whole night together, and, well . . . " _before she could stop it, visions of the two of them, naked and rolling in the sheets went through her mind. It was surreal seeing my two best friends like that . . . completely unabandoned, kissing and pawing at each other then . . .

_"OK, Leah, enough! If you ever want me to be able to look you in the face again, please think of something else!"_

_"Sorry, can't help it. I feel so completely satisfied and fulfilled and happy and . . . a little shocked, I guess, that life has turned out this way for me. With Embry! Who would have guessed it?"_

That's what we all thought. Embry and Leah . . . no one really ever thought of those two together, and yet, seeing them now, it seemed so natural. They just . . . fit. _"Yeah, I know. Glad I thought of it."_

_"Yeah, you did. I forgot about that. Well, thanks, boss! Thanks for helping me find a great guy. With a great body, and great lips, and his tongue and hands . . . and I won't even mention his . . . "_

_"DON'T! Don't mention it." _I quickly interjected.

_"Ha! I forgot you're such a pussy when it comes to talking about sex."_

_"Well, I had a night of my own I could share if you really want to see it." _So, I gave her a peek of how it looks to hover over Bella . . . kissing her, touching her, and how she looked right as she let go . . .

_"OK, Jake, I get your point. No more sex replays. Gross!"_

After that, we both settled into a comfortable jog around the circuit to run our patrol, as we tried whatever we could to get our minds on anything other than our activities the night before. As we ran, I decided to fill Leah in on the divorce papers that Bella received.

_"Really? $200 grand? Wow . . . that's a lot of money."_

_"Yeah, and that SUV is worth at least $50 grand."_

_"Seriously? Wow."_

_"Yeah, but the worst part is he gets full custody of the baby."_

_"Full custody? Does she get any rights?"_

_"He promised Bella he would let her see Carly whenever she wants, but I have no idea how that will work out. Especially now since we have no idea where they are."_

_"What a bastard."_

_"Yeah."_

We retreated into our thoughts again for awhile and before long, our patrol was up and Sam and Paul phased in to take over.

As Leah gave them their instructions and let them know who would be taking over for them, I decided maybe I should talk to her about my plans for the future. I would do it after we phased out, as I really didn't need Sam to know anything before I talked to Leah. Quickly, I phased and pulled my shorts on so he wouldn't get a hint of what I was thinking then I moved away to wait to give Leah a chance to phase and dress in private.

After a few minutes, Leah walked toward me dressed in a pair of cut-offs and a yellow tank top to ask, "So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?"

"Not sure yet, but I'll probably make it back to Bella's at some point."

A smile crossed her face as she replied, "Go figure. You gotta pace yourself, Jake. You can't have sex ALL the time, you know."

"Look who's talking!" I shot back and she laughed. Once the laughter died away, I asked her, "Uh, Leah? Do you think we could talk?"

"Sure," she shrugged. "What's up?"

I stood there in the clearing as a light drizzle began to fall, struggling with how to begin. This wasn't a conversation I wanted to have, but I knew I needed to get it over with. Especially since Leah was already in good mood. I hoped that would mean she would be a little more understanding about me giving up my job as Alpha.

Seeing me struggle, Leah finally asked, "Jacob? What's going on here? You look nervous. If you were my boyfriend, I'd say you were trying to break up with me or something," she said with a nervous laugh. Then she added, "Is that it? Does Bella not like us hanging out?"

"No, no, of course not. She actually likes that we're friends."

Relieved, she barked at me, "Well, then spit it out. You're freaking me out here."

"Well, I guess I am breaking up, kind of. You see, I have been doing a lot of thinking about how to make my life easier. You know how crazy I've been, and well, I have decided to step down . . . to give up being the . . . the Alpha. I'm going back to school on Monday, then after I graduate, I'll look for a full-time job."

As I babbled, I watched Leah carefully to see how she might react. I could see the shock then disbelief then . . . yep, there it is. The anger. Her head shook back and forth and I sensed her heart rate pick up as her nostrils flared and then . . . SMACK! My head reeled as her hand connected with my face. "You son of a bitch! You fucking idiot! Are you serious?"

My hand went to my face as I moved my jaw back and forth to see if I could still talk. Leah may be a girl, but she was also a wolf and she packed a mean punch! "Yes, I'm serious. You know I never wanted it. I only took it to make my dad happy. I hate the responsibility and let's face it, I'm not good at it."

"You haven't even given it a chance! You've been the Alpha for what, a few weeks? And now you want to just walk away?" I could see her anger and frustration just building until I was kind of afraid she might beat the shit out of me!

"Leah, just listen . . . " I started, but she stopped me with, "No! I will not listen to you whine anymore, Jacob. You were pissed at your dad for treating you like a child, well I got news for you, Jake, you're acting like a fucking baby and I can't stand it! You ARE the Alpha. You were born to it. You have NO choice! Just like none of us had a choice in becoming a big hairy dog. God damnit, Jake! What the hell is wrong with you? Do you honestly think you can just run back to Sam and beg him to take it and everything will be honky-dory?"

I hung my head during her rant and didn't answer her question. What could I say? That's exactly what I was hoping for.

"You do, don't you?" she asked incredulously. When again I didn't answer, Leah exhaled loudly as she swiped her fingers through her hair then turned away for a moment to collect herself. I wanted to say something, anything, that would make her understand.

"Leah, please, just try to see things from my point of view. I told you how overwhelmed I am. I can't handle all of the shit that's being thrown at me! And you know I'm not a leader. So I'm born to be the almighty Alpha, so what? Doesn't mean I have what it takes. And I don't. And I really don't want to be defined by a birthright . . . I want a chance to be my own man. To make my own decisions about my life. I should have that right!"

That's when she whipped around to shout, "We should ALL have that right, Jake, but we don't! It was taken away from us the day we phased for the first time. I don't get to make my own decisions. I don't get to go to college, I don't get to have children! How is that fair?"

"Oh, so because you don't have any rights, I shouldn't either? Is that what this is about? Look, I'm not a leader! I proved that by dumping everything on YOU! Sam is a better leader . . . "

"NO! No, he's not."

"Leah, just because you have history with him, you can't . . . "

"Stop right there!" Leah was fuming now. I took a step back from her as she huffed, "He hurt me, Jacob. He almost broke me. I am finally in a good place for the first time in a very long time, and you want me to go back to having Sam in my head again 24/7?" she finished very loudly.

"This is NOT personal, Leah. I am NOT doing this to hurt you. I thought that now you were with Embry that maybe, just maybe, you could put all that shit behind you and work WITH Sam, be his beta. I don't want you to quit being the beta. You're good at it, and you deserve . . . "

"Damn right, I'm good at it. And I do deserve to keep it, but not with him. No. Only with you."

"Damnit, Leah!" I growled as I pulled at my hair in frustration. Why couldn't she see? Why was she making this so difficult for me?

We walked away from each other for a few minutes to try and gain control of our emotions as we were getting nowhere with this conversation. I knew it would be hard to make her understand, but I felt like I was slamming my head against a brick wall here. Finally, I sighed deeply and closed the gap between us to say, "You told me that you would support me in my decisions, Leah. I need your help here. I have a kid coming in just a few months. I have to do what's best for him. I have to finish school, find a job . . . I can't just ignore that."

"I understand that, Jacob. But what about that kid? What happens when he grows up someday and finds out that he's the Alpha of the pack? And that you were, but you walked away. This is about all of us . . . the pack, the tribe and _your_ son. It's not just about you anymore. You were chosen just like your son will be chosen . . . it's our way of life."

_My son . . . _We didn't even know yet if the baby was a boy or a girl. "The baby could be a girl, you know," I said softly.

That brought a small smile to her face. "And I hope to God it is. I don't wish this life on anyone, although, I wasn't safe, maybe she won't be either."

Closing my eyes, I could see her point. Guilt poured over me like the light rain that was now falling and I tried hard to shake it off and stand firm in my decision. But I was wavering . . . I could feel it.

"Jacob, I'm sorry. I know I'm being selfish in not wanting Sam to be the Alpha, but . . . it's not just that. I saw something in you, that day we confronted Sam and Paul. I saw the Alpha in you and I know that you could be a great leader if only you embraced it and gave into it."

"I did feel something then, but . . . something keeps holding me back. I just don't want to keep up the fight anymore. I am exhausted all the time." And with that, I sank down onto a fallen log and let my head drop into my hands.

After a moment or two, Leah finally sat down beside me to say, "I know. I get that. What if you gave up school and got your GED instead? That would be a big weight off of your shoulders. I know you don't really want to go back to school, and then you could find a job . . ."

"And what kind of job can I get and still be Alpha? How can I run off at all times of the day or night if we get invaded by a newborn army again? How can I be responsible for the pack if I'm not here on the rez 24/7?"

With a sigh, Leah admitted, "I don't know." Silence reigned for awhile until Leah asked, "Can't your dad help you out? I mean, Sam didn't have a job when he was Alpha. He and Emily have a house and food . . . whatever they need. They still get that. Why is that? Who supplies that for them?"

I looked at her to explain, "Well, the house was Emily's, but the tribe supplies them with food and stuff for the pack."

"Yeah, see? Maybe as Alpha, you could be set up in a house and they could help out with food and stuff."

I jumped off the log to exclaim, "But don't you see? That's not what I want! I don't want to live off of tribal charity. I want to be able to provide for my family!

"Well then, use some of Bella's money! She's rich now," Leah threw back at me which made my anger flare higher.

"No fucking way. That would be worse than taking money from the tribe. I will not live off of bloodsucker money," I fumed. "How could you even suggest that?"

Sighing, Leah stood to apologize. "I'm sorry. That was wrong. I get your point."

"So, we're back to square one. Now you see what I've been dealing with. I just can't find a solution that will please everyone, so, I guess I just decided to please myself. I know that's wrong, but I can't help it. I am so sick and tired of being pulled in different directions when all I really want is to be with Bella and our baby. It's what I want more than anything in this world."

Leah looked up at me to ask, "Have you said anything to your dad about this?"

With a shake of my head, I answered, "No. I wanted to talk to you first." Then with a smile I rubbed my aching jaw and added, "And, gee, it's just as fun as I thought it would be."

Smiling back, Leah gave me a small punch in the arm as she replied, "Glad I could help."

Seriously, I asked, "What am I going to do, Leah?"

"I don't know, Jake," Leah answered, I knew as honestly as she could. "But I know that I really don't want you to give up the Alpha. I don't think you can even if you wanted to."

"But Sam did. He just quit and walked away."

"Yes, because he wasn't the TRUE Alpha. He was only doing it for you until you were ready. When you accepted it, well . . . it might be yours for life now."

_Shit. She might be right. I never thought of that. _"That would be my luck, wouldn't it? Sucks to be me."

Again, Leah smiled as she said, "Yeah, it does." Then she added, "Look, Jake, I know you're in a tough spot, but I AM your beta, and I will be here to support you. I don't mind the work you've given me, and let's face it, I'm damn good at it." With a roll of my eyes and a smile, I nodded and she went on, "So, think about it some more, OK? Have you even talked to Bella about any of this?" When I shook my head, she said, "Typical man. You think you have to make all the decisions and you don't give any thought to what Bella might want. If you are planning your life with her, don't you think she should have a say in it?"

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

Leah laughed at that. "Better get used to it. You know I'm ALWAYS right!"

I joined her in laughter and then pulled her into my arms for a hug. I was very thankful for Leah. Even though she was scary as hell when she was mad, she was usually right, and I knew I should think over what she had to say before I made any final decisions. Stepping back, I leaned down to plant a quick kiss on her lips. "Thanks, Leah. Even though my jaw is still throbbing, I'm glad we talked. I know that I can always count on you, no matter what. And I will talk to Bella. She does deserve a say."

"Damn straight," Leah replied in her typical cocky manner.

I let her go then said, "I'll head over there now. Let me know if you need me."

"Yes, sir, boss man."

I rolled my eyes as she chuckled then left me to jog home. As I stood there alone in the woods, I realized I wasn't any closer to a decision that I had been before our talk, but at least I had an idea where I had to go from here, and that was to Bella. I hoped to hell she could help. I was pretty disgusted with myself for not being able to make a decision. Personally, I thought that helped to prove my point that I wasn't the born leader everyone thought I was.

I phased back right at the edge of Bella's backyard and slipped into my shorts before stepping out of the woods. As I walked into the yard, I spotted Bella through the kitchen window at the sink doing dishes. Stopping for a moment, I just stared at her while she worked. A smile broke out on my face as I watched the woman I loved doing a mindless task like washing dishes. My heart fluttered a little as that warmth seeped through my body at just the sight of her. _Man, I'm turning into a chick. I need to man up, and watch some football or something._

Shaking myself from my trance, I walked to the back door and let myself in. "Hey, Bells."

"Hey. How's everything on the rez?" Bella returned as I leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"Boring as usual."

"That's good, right?" Bella replied with a smile.

Smiling back, I automatically grabbed a towel and dried the few dishes that she had rinsed and were sitting in the sink then put them away. In a few minutes, the dishes were done, and Bella was in my arms. I felt complete once again.


	36. Chapter 35

**CHAPTER 35**

**Bella POV:**

"So, what did you do today?" Jacob asked as he shoved a forkful of pie into his mouth.

"Well, I baked pies," I began with a smile when he interrupted with, "And I am so glad you did."

I had to laugh at the sight of Jacob, sitting at the table dressed in just his shorts, his black hair still wet from the rain, with a mouthful of pie, crumbs flying everywhere as he talked. He had come in while I was finishing the dishes, and he couldn't wait to taste one of the two apple pies cooling on the counter. Once I sobered, I told him, "I also went to the post office today to mail the divorce papers to the lawyer. In 30 days I will be Isabella Swan once again."

Jacob looked up to ask, "Are you OK? I mean, it has to feel weird, getting a divorce and all . . . "

Pulling out a chair, I sat down beside him as I sighed, "Yeah, married at 18, divorced at 19. Never planned on that. But, yeah, I'm OK." I gave him a smile to show him I meant it then I added, "Then I called my mom to tell her about the divorce. That was fun."

With a smile, he returned, "Yeah, I bet."

"She took it better than I thought she would, I mean, I guess she expected it knowing you were the father of my baby and all. She is planning on coming home soon. She wants to meet you."

His head popped up at that announcement. "She does? Oh, well, yeah, I guess she would. What if she hates me?"

That made me laugh. "Please, who could hate you? I think my dad loves you more than he loves me."

That made Jacob laugh. "Well, I am a loveable guy," he said with a grin as he leaned into kiss me on the lips.

"Mmm, you taste like apple pie," I told him with a smile.

We kissed a little more then finally, I pushed myself away from the table to walk to the fridge to get the milk and refill his glass. "More pie?"

"Please. It's delicious," Jacob said with a grin.

I cut another piece of pie and placed it in front of him and asked how his day was. As his eyes clouded over, I guessed it wasn't as boring as mine. "Maybe I shouldn't have asked?"

"No, it's OK. I had a fight with Leah."

"Yeah? What about?"

Jacob sighed and set his fork down before saying, "About me not being the Alpha anymore."

"What?" I asked in shock as I plopped down onto the chair beside him. "What are you talking about?"

He quickly tried to explain the fight to me and why he was thinking about giving up being the Alpha of the pack. "I mean, come on, Bells. You know me. I never wanted to be a wolf, and I certainly didn't want to be the Alpha. Leah is just throwing a hissy fit because she doesn't want Sam in her head again. I told her I wanted her to stay beta and work with him because she is good at it and Sam was a great leader, well, until he went fucking nuts and wanted us to get rid of your baby, but . . ."

"Jake, stop," I interjected as I put my hand on his arm to ask, "Why are doing this?"

"Because something has to give here!" he shouted his answer. "I just can't see how I can go to school, find a job, spend time with you AND be the Alpha and do a good job at it. I suck at it, Bella! I've shoved most of it onto Leah already and that's not fair to her, even though she says she's OK with it. Hell, she'd be a better Alpha than I am." After taking a breath to calm himself, Jacob reached across the table to take my hand and say, "Look, all I really want is to be with you and our baby. I want to be able to provide for you both and take care of you, and I just don't see how I can do that and . . . "

"Wait," I told him as I pulled my hand away. All of a sudden I was getting uncomfortable at the deja vu feeling I was experiencing. _Provide for you and take care of you_ . . . that's not what I wanted at all. To me, that felt like code for _make all the decisions for you. _Been there done than . . . not going there again.

"What?" Jacob asked as he watched me. He could see something was going through my mind.

"Do you hear yourself?" I asked. "I, I, I . . . not one we in there at all. I just got out of a relationship where I had no say . . . where all the decisions were made for me and I was supposed to just go along with everything, and I was very unhappy. It didn't work, Jake. I don't want you to provide for me . . . for us to work, we have to be in this together, don't you see?"

I was surprised to see a smile curve onto his lips. Seeing my look of curiosity, he explained, "Leah told me the same thing. She said, 'Why do men always think they have to make all the decisions?' then she asked me if I had even asked you what you wanted, and finished by reminding me that she is always right. I guess she is."

With a smile of my own, I put my hand on top of his and replied, "I guess that's why you listen to her, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess it is."

"Jacob, I don't want you to give up being the Alpha because of me and the baby. It is who you are, who you were meant to be. And I know that you haven't been able to give it your all because you're here with me all the time. Maybe we could find a way to live on the rez? Then we could be together and you would be closer to the pack. And as for school, well, I'd like you to finish, but getting a GED is fine, too. I can help you study for the test, and then you'll at least have a diploma so that finding a job will be easier. Although, I'm not sure what kind of job you can work and stay close to the rez."

"Yeah, I know. There's not much available there, believe me, I've looked."

Tapping my finger to my lips as I thought, I knew my next suggestion would not go over well, but I stupidly offered it anyway. "Well, I do have the tank outside that I want to sell. You told me that it's worth a lot . . . we could use the money from the sale of it for awhile until you find something . . . "

"NO!" Jacob said emphatically. "I will not live off of bloodsucker money, and neither will my child."

"YOUR child?" With a sigh and a roll of my eyes, I replied, "So you're going to do that macho guy thing and let pride get in your way of a practical solution to our problem? It is MY car, and when I sell it, I want the money to be OUR money. It has nothing to do with Edward."

"He bought you the car, Bella."

"Yes, and I always hated it! The nerve of him, buying me that hideous thing, and making me drive around Forks in it . . . having everyone stare at me . . . God, I can't believe I let him do that to me! And that's why I don't want you making all the decisions now. I want to have a say, Jacob. I want to contribute to our family. And if using some of the money from the sale of that thing will help us, then by God, I'm going to do it!"

Jacob shoved his chair away from the table then stood to stalk to the back door and stare out the window. As I turned my head to take in his strong stance, hand on hips, I knew I was asking a lot of him. I understood his need to provide for his baby, but right now, he was only 17 years old! I would rather have him provide love and comfort and protection and let me worry about the money, but I knew that wasn't the way he was wired. Jacob was Quileute, and they were proud people. They took care of their own, and he was just trying to do things the way he had been taught.

Sighing, I stood and moved to stand behind Jacob then placed my hand on his lean back. I could feel his muscles tighten at my touch. "Jacob?"

Slowly he turned to face me and I said softly, "We want the same thing . . . all I really want is to be with you and our baby."

Jacob's face relaxed into a smile as he bent to touch his forehead to mine. "Good. Then let's figure this thing out because I am exhausted from trying to do it on my own."

After planting a kiss on his lips, I said, "OK. Later tonight, we will sit down and go through everything and try to come up with a solution we can both live with. But right now, I have to fix dinner. Dad will be home soon."

Jacob helped me with dinner, and when Dad came through the door, we had a nice meal of meal loaf, mashed potatoes, fresh green beans and pie for dessert waiting for him. It felt good to sit with the two men in my life and enjoy a family dinner together. I was amazed once again that I had come so close to giving this up by wanting Edward to turn me into a vampire. To give up the relationship I had with my dad, and Jake, and cooking and eating, and just sitting here enjoying the conversation to what? Spend all of eternity drinking blood? A chill ran through me as I realized how much of a hold Edward had on me all that time and how close I had come to an eternity with him.

"Bells? You OK?" Dad asked. "You're awful quiet over there."

Smiling, I replied, "Yes, I'm fine. Best I've felt in a very long time." Then I reached over to take Jacob's hand and give it a squeeze as I told them, "I am right where I belong." As I took in both of their smiles, I knew I was right.

Much later, after the dishes were done and we finished watching one of our favorite shows on television, I asked Dad if it would be alright if Jake and I went upstairs to my room. "We have some big decisions to make, and we really need to talk. I'll leave the door open, if that will make you feel better."

Dad looked at me for a moment then at Jake before finally answering gruffly, "I guess it's OK. I mean, you're all grown up now and pregnant. I supposed I should start thinking of you as an adult instead of my little girl."

Pushing myself from the couch, I stepped over to where Dad was sitting in his chair then bent down and kissed him on the forehead. "I'll always be your little girl, Dad, even when I'm really old, like you."

Chuckling, he swatted my leg and said, "Go on, get out of here."

So, Jacob and I took the stairs together and walked into my room to settle on the bed, Jake on his back with his arms behind his head, and me sitting, legs folded pretzel-style. I started by asking, "Jake? Why do you really want to give up being the Alpha? Is it really because you want to get a job and provide for the baby, or is it something else?" I had been thinking about that all through dinner. He seemed so adamant about giving it up . . . I had a feeling it was more than just a time constraint.

With a sigh, Jacob shrugged, "I don't know. I mean, yeah I want to get a job, but . . . as much as I try to really be the Alpha, there is always something that holds me back. Like, no matter how much I try, I can't quite put all of myself into it." Looking over at me, he added, "I know that sounds weird, but I don't know how else to describe it."

"I get it. What do you think it is that holds you back? Is it me? Is it because I've been so needy lately? Because I want you to know that I am done with that. I can't stand how pathetic I've become and I promise you, I am not going to be that girl any more."

Smiling, Jacob rolled toward me to prop his head on his elbow as he said, "Well, don't change too much. I kind of love the girl you are."

I smacked him on the arm as I smiled and said, "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do, and no, I don't think it's because of you. It's something deep inside of me. Like, when Sam and Paul were causing problems, Leah and I chased them down and I stood up to them. I could feel this surge of strength just flow through my body and I felt like nothing could hold me down. I had never felt that powerful in all my life and it was a great feeling! I could see how you could get addicted to that and want to have that power over everyone. But then, when I gave Paul an Alpha order to go down on his knees and I made him tell me about the conversation he overheard between Edward and the chick vamp, it was that same feeling of power surging through me, but yet, as I looked down at Paul, on his knees in the dirt, I had this feeling of . . . remorse, I guess. Like I felt sorry for him somehow that he didn't have a choice in what he was doing. We're talking Paul here! You know how he bugs the shit out of me. Just knowing I could make him do whatever I wanted . . . I guess it scared me or something."

I had to smile a little at that. That was _my_ Jacob. His heart was too big . . . he always put everyone else's feelings before his own, even Paul's. He had done that with me forever. Now he was being forced to be the leader and made decisions for everyone, but he was still putting their feelings first. "I think I understand, Jake."

Pushing himself to a sitting position, he looked at me and said, "Yeah? Well then explain it to me, cause I don't have a clue."

"I think you're having a hard time with the power trip because you feel too much. You are too worried about other people's feelings . . . you don't want to hurt them in making them do something they may not want to do. You have a big heart, Jacob. It's one of the things I love most about you. But in this situation, you have to put the emotion aside and make the decision that's best for the pack. And I also think you're a little afraid to give yourself completely over to the Alpha because maybe it will change who you are."

Jacob quietly contemplated what I said then looked over to smile and say, "Look at you, Miss Shrink. Analyzing all this and trying to see what makes me tick."

"Well, I actually thought I wanted to be a psychiatrist at one time and I did a lot of reading on psychology and how the brain works and all that. I guess maybe it could come in handy once in awhile."

"Yeah, well, don't make it habit. I don't know if I like you picking around in my brain."

I let out a small laugh as he rolled onto his back again to fold his arms behind his head. He laid there quietly for a moment, staring up at the ceiling then he asked, "You really think that's it? I'm just . . . too nice to be the Alpha?"

"Well, I don't think I put it that way, but maybe you just are afraid of becoming too controlling. When Sam was Alpha and you were just another member of the pack, how did Sam make you feel?"

Jacob shot me a look that told me just how much he was enjoying this conversation, so I added, "Come on, just humor me, will ya? I really am trying to help here."

With yet another sigh, Jacob relented. "Well, at first I hated him and what he was and what he was making me do, but then at first, you hate everything, you know? Except Quil. From the beginning he's been in love with being a wolf! But for me, I hated not fitting into my clothes or my bed, or even my house. I felt like some fucking awkward giant always knocking things over and bumping my head on stuff. And then there's the voices in your head . . . hearing and feeling everything that someone else feels is _so hard_. Especially with Sam and Emily and Leah - that was just plain hell. But when he put the Alpha order on me not to tell anyone," Jacob stopped to look at me, "especially you, well, that made me furious."

"OK, see? The Alpha order made you mad, really mad. Why?"

"Because _I _wanted to tell you. You were the first one I wanted to run to and _he_ wouldn't let me. I had no control over my own fucking life! I still don't."

"So maybe, you don't want to do that to the others because you don't like how it felt when Sam did it to you. I know that's pretty simple, but in a way, it makes sense."

With a roll of his eyes, Jacob sat up to say, "Well, duh, Miss Fake Shrink. I know that. I already told Leah that when I first took over. She told me I wasn't being hard enough on Paul and Sam and that I had to so they would respect me. I told her I didn't want to be a dick and order everyone around."

"But, Jacob, as the leader, it's your job to make the decisions and delegate what has to be done. Without a leader, you have chaos. But, you don't have to be a dick and dominate them. There has to be a compromise somewhere."

"Grrrrrrrr," Jacob cried out as he pulled at his hair. "But that's the thing, Bella. I don't want to make the decisions! I want Sam or someone else to do it. I don't want the responsibility! Why can't I make you and Leah understand this?"

"Why don't you want the responsibility?" I threw back at him.

"Because I'm not good enough!" Jacob exclaimed as he jumped off the bed to pace in front of the window as he ranted, "I'm not strong enough or smart enough! I'm just Jacob, the geeky kid who likes to tinker in the garage on bicycles and cars and motorcycles. I'm not smart . . . I don't get good grades like Jared, and I'm not tough like Sam. In that newborn fight, I got my ass kicked and half the bones in my body broken and do you know why? I panicked . . . that's why! I saw Leah in trouble and rushed in and then . . . I fucking panicked. I can't do this! Don't you get that? I. Can't. Do. This."

Turning to the window, I watched his shoulders slump as he hung his head. I couldn't believe that this big strong wonderful guy really believed all of that about himself. It broke my heart. Pushing myself off of the mattress, I stepped up behind him to say, "Jacob, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I pushed you like that, but that's not what I see when I look at you."

"Right," he huffed as he stared out the window. "That's why I always come in second with you behind Edward . . . because I'm such a great guy."

BAM! That hit me right between the eyes. _Is that how I made him feel all this time? Like he wasn't good enough? _What a wake-up call. I reached out and laid my hand on his bicep as the words spilled out of my mouth, "Jacob, I am so, so sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren't good enough. That is so . . . not right. You are _not _my second choice. It wasn't like that, with Edward. That I picked him over you because you weren't good enough. You have to know that. I love you, Jacob. Everything about you. You are loving and loyal and you are strong, stronger than maybe even you realize. You never gave up on me, and thank God you didn't! Being with Edward had nothing to do with you not being good enough . . . it was all just a stupid fantasy! I wasn't thinking right . . . I don't know what it was, but it's over and thank God it is. I was just thinking tonight at the dinner table at what I almost gave up and it sent a chill through me to think I could be spending eternity without you and my dad and . . . Jake, please, please look at me."

Slowly he turned to look at me as I went on, "You are smart, strong and brave, everything an Alpha should be. But you're scared and there's nothing wrong with that. Sometime, somewhere in your life, someone told you that you weren't good enough and you believed them. Then I just reinforced that, and I am so sorry. But it's not true. You are not that scared little boy anymore. You are grown now and big and tall and handsome and . . . you have to believe me when I tell you that I am not the only one that sees you this way. Leah knows . . . that's why she fought with you. And Embry and Quil and Seth, and all the others . . . they know. The only one that doesn't believe you can be the Alpha is you."

Jacob's eyes drifted shut as he stood so still before me. I wanted so much to convince him he was wrong, but I wasn't sure I had. I waited patiently for him, and after awhile he turned his head to look at me. I could see just a glimmer of a tear in his eyes as he said softly, "I hear you say it, but it's hard to actually feel it's true."

"Oh, Jacob. I hate how I've made you feel all this time. I'll never forgive myself for that. But I have a lifetime to prove you wrong, and believe me, I will," I told him strongly.

Finally, I saw a small smile on his face. "I will hold you to that, you know."

I returned his smile as I wound my arms around his waist. "Good. I love you, Jacob Black, more than anyone else in this world. I mean that. And I believe in you."

"I love you, too, Bells. You and this baby are my whole life, and I guess I just don't want anyone or anything to take you away from me."

"I understand that, but Jacob, I'm right here. And I'm always going to be right here, with you. So, Jake, let me just say this: I want you to be happy, first and foremost. If you really want to give up being the Alpha, and you _can_ do that, then do it and I will support you. If you want to stay the Alpha and give yourself to it completely, and do the job that we all know you can, then I will support you. I will move to the rez, and I will give Emily a run for her money as the pack den mother."

Grinning, Jacob leaned down to kiss me on the lips then say, "That I would like to see."

Leaning into his body, I ran my hands up his smooth, lean back and let him kiss me until I was weak in the knees. As soon as our hands began to wander where they shouldn't, we broke apart as I reminded Jake that my dad was downstairs and we left the bedroom door open. Groaning, Jacob let me go as I walked back to crawl onto the bed. "Come on. Let's set a plan you're happy with then we can move on from here and start living our life. OK?"

Flopping down beside me on his stomach, Jacob smiled and said, "OK. Let's do this."

After another hour of talking things out, I heard Dad come up the stairs. He stopped at my bedroom and hesitantly looked in to say good night.

"Gosh, I didn't realize it was so late," I said as I sat up to look at the clock, surprised to see it was after eleven.

"Yeah, I guess I better get home," Jacob said with a yawn. "I have to run a patrol in a few hours."

Dad watched as Jake climbed off of the bed then bent to kiss me good bye. "See you tomorrow, Bells."

"OK. Love you."

With a grin, Jacob replied, "Love you, too." Then he walked to the door where he said, "Night, Charlie," as he passed him to trot down the stairs.

"Night, Jake!" Dad called after him then he turned to me as soon as we heard the front door close and asked, "So, did you two make any decisions or was that just an excuse to make out?"

I let out a short laugh as I replied, "No it wasn't an excuse to make out, although we did a little. And yes, we made some decisions."

"And?"

"And Jacob is not going back to school. I am going to help him study for his GED instead."

With a nod, Dad commented, "Well, I guess I can understand that. What kind of a job is he looking for?"

"I don't know. He's really good with cars and motorcycles . . . maybe something along those lines. I also told him I want him to look into selling the SUV for me as soon as possible. I can't stand the sight of it."

"I doubt anyone here in Forks could afford it. You may have to take it to Seattle to sell it."

"Well, whatever I have to do. And I am trying to convince Jacob that it's not a sin to use the money from the sale of the car for us to live on for awhile until he can get a job."

Dad grinned as he asked, "Yeah? How'd that go?"

"How do you think it went?" I asked then added disgustedly, "You men and your pride. It's ridiculous!"

With a chuckle, Dad said, "Well, good for Jake. I'm proud of him for wanting to provide for you and the baby."

"I am, too, but this isn't the dark ages, you know. I should be allowed to contribute to my own family."

"I think I'll stay out of this argument," Dad said with a smile. "Good night, Bells."

"Night, Dad."

I heard him walk down the hall and close his door as I got up to unzip my jeans and pull on some pajama pants then I left my room to use the bathroom. When I walked back into my room, Jacob was there, lying on the bed with a smile on his face. I quickly closed the door and then asked quietly, "I thought you had to run a patrol in a few hours? You're so tired . . . shouldn't you get some sleep?"

As I crawled into bed, Jacob answered, "I am tired, but I sleep better when I'm with you."

How could I resist that? I couldn't . . . he knew I couldn't. So, I turned off the bedside lamp and as I curled up next to Jacob to soak in the heat from his body, I had to admit to myself that I slept better when he was here, too.


	37. Chapter 36

**CHAPTER 36**

**Bella POV:**

With things settled, Jacob seemed much happier as he quit school and we began studying for his GED. Leah was very happy when he told her that he would give more of himself over to being the Alpha, and Jake told me she had decided maybe I wasn't so bad after all. I wasn't holding out hope that we'd become BFF's or anything, but at least it was a start.

A couple of weeks later, my birthday rolled around, and my dad shocked me by buying and installing a dishwasher! Since my birthday was on a Sunday, Jacob took me to Port Angeles for the day, I found out later to get me out of the way. It was so wonderful to get out of the house for a whole day! I had stuck pretty close to home since moving back in, and it made me realize I really needed to get out more. Jacob and I ate lunch at a little restaurant along the waterfront then since the sun was shining, we walked hand in hand watched the boats for awhile before playing a rousing game of mini golf, which I won. We finished off the day with ice cream cones then he drove me home. When I walked into the house I knew something was up when I saw Charlie's grin. He made me close my eyes as he walked me into the kitchen then both he and Jake yelled, "Surprise!"

I hugged Dad at least ten times and then turned to Jake. "You were in on this, weren't you?"

Nodding with a grin, Jacob confessed, "Charlie told me what he wanted to do and we had to get you out of the house long enough for him to install the dishwasher. But, I wanted to take you to Port Angeles anyway, so it worked out for both of us."

Then Dad grilled steaks for dinner and afterwards, brought out a cake he bought at the grocery store and lit 19 candles. He and Jake sang a very off-key version of _Happy Birthday _and I blew out the candles, wishing that someday, I could celebrate my birthday with both of my babies together. I wanted that more than anything.

As we ate our cake, I realized it was a very different birthday from the year before where Alice insisted on throwing me a party, I cut my finger on wrapping paper and the smell of my blood drove Jasper to attack me. I still felt awful about that. Jasper is so sweet and has apologized so many times for that. It also led to the Cullens leaving me and throwing me into a three month depression . . . which led me to Jacob. Was that only a year ago? It seemed like a lifetime ago.

Yes, this birthday was very different from the year before . . . this one was perfect. I went to bed very happy that night.

A few days after my birthday, I received word that my divorce from Edward was final. I sunk down on the couch with the letter in my hand and was still sitting there an hour later when Dad came home from work. I wasn't really sad that the marriage was over. I was ready to move on with my life with Jacob, but I missed Carly more than ever and it just brought home to me what I had given up.

I thought about Carly every day and would take out my phone just to stare at her picture and wonder what she looked like now. She had to be so different . . . I hated that I was missing so much. Edward called once a week to let me know she was alright, and tell me about what new thing she could do. But his calls were always very short, less than 5 minutes as he was still afraid of the Volturi finding them.

I finally sold the SUV that Edward had forced on me for $50,500! I was in shock. I had no idea that thing was worth that much money! Jacob had put an ad out on the internet and some guy from Seattle saw it and contacted him right away. He seemed very excited to get it and paid us what we were asking. I waved as he drove it away, glad to be rid of it then I drove straight to the bank, in my trusty old truck and deposited the check, wondering what the teller thought of me, the daughter of the sheriff, depositing such a large amount of money. Even after it was gone, it was still causing me embarrassment.

Fall was finally here, and with the beginning of October, the leaves were taking on all shades of reds and gold. I had taken to walking a little every day so I wouldn't gain too much weight with this baby, and I loved to take in the sight of the trees turning such brilliant colors. Growing up in Phoenix, I had not experienced that as there is no real change of seasons there. When I walked, I was always aware of being followed by a shadow as Jacob was still having one of the pack keep an eye on me when he couldn't be around. When it was Seth, sometimes he would phase and walk with me, and we would talk. He was quickly becoming the little brother I had always wanted and I enjoyed our talks quite a bit. Embry or Quil would also phase and talk sometimes, but none of others even showed themselves. I guess they still resented having to do "Bella guard duty." I couldn't blame them, really.

As I arrived home one afternoon from my walk, I found Jacob sitting on the back step waiting for me. He stood up as I approached then when I reached him, he pulled me into his arms and kissed me soundly. "Are you ready to study?" I asked as I stepped back.

Exhaling a long, drawn out sigh, Jacob replied, "If I have to." Then he pulled me close again to say with a grin, "I'd rather make out." His lips claimed mine just to prove his point.

I let him kiss me for a moment then I stopped him and said, "Study first . . . make out second." Jacob's GED test was scheduled for the day after tomorrow, and I wanted him to get in as much studying as he could before then. Finally dragging him inside, he plopped down at the kitchen table and opened his book while I went to the fridge to make us some sandwiches.

We ate as we studied, and I was happy to see that Jacob was getting most of the answers right. Jacob was a lot smarter than he thought he was. I guess he just needed someone to nag him into studying.

"Come on, Jake . . . you know this one," I said as I tapped a pencil on the table, waiting for his answer.

"Um, is it magnesium?" he answered hesitantly.

"Yes!" I cried out with a smile. "Now next time, answer with a little more confidence. You know this stuff . . . you're going to do great on the test." With a pat on his arm, I picked up his empty plate and stood to cut him another piece of pumpkin pie.

"I hope so. I only want to take it once."

After placing the pie in front of him, I sat down to ask, "Where do you have to go to take the test?"

He picked up his fork before he answered, "The Forks library at ten in the morning."

"I have a doctor's appointment at 12:30. You think you'll be done by then?" Right before my birthday, I found out that Carlisle had given my records to an obstetrician at the hospital and his receptionist had called to ask when I would like to schedule an appointment. I went in to see him and he told me that I was progressing just fine and he would see me once a month until I was around 7 months, then I would go in twice a month. He seemed very nice, and I was very grateful to Carlisle for taking care of this for me. It was nice to know he still cared.

"Yeah, I hope so," Jacob answered as he scribbled some math problem on the pad of paper in front of him. "You know I want to go with you."

Just then, I felt this flutter inside . . . just a little twinge. Kind of like a butterfly flying around inside me. My hand moved to my belly as I stared down at it in awe. I gasped as I felt it again. Jacob looked up and asked, "Bells? You alright?"

Looking up, I nodded in wonder as I said softly, "I think I just felt the baby."

Jacob's eyes lit up as he asked, "Really? What did it feel like?"

"Um, just a flutter kind of . . . I don't know how to explain it. The doctor told me last time that I should feel it soon, and well, I think I just did." Tears sprang to my eyes as I held my hand over my baby bump. It had popped out a couple of weeks ago and my pants now were getting way too tight so I had taken to wearing sweatpants.

Jacob put his arm around my shoulder and covered my hand with his own. "I can't wait until I can feel it, too."

I looked up at him with a smile and added, "Me, too."

We sat there with our heads together, in awe of what was happening until there was a knock on the back door. Looking up, I was shocked to see Emmett through the window of the door! "Oh my gosh! It's Emmett," I squealed as I shoved my chair back to answer the door.

After ripping open the door, I launched myself into Emmett's arms. "Hey, sis! It's good to see you, too." I didn't realize how much I missed Emmett and his bear hugs until right now. He finally set me back on my feet then said, "Let me look at you." I stepped back and he checked out my belly, which was visible since I was wearing sweatpants, and he said, "How are you? Is the baby OK?"

"Yes," I smiled. "I just felt it for the first time . . . just now, before you knocked," I told him excitedly.

"Awesome," he grinned as I pulled him inside to watch him walk over to Jacob, who was now standing, and hold out his hand to say, "Hey, Jacob. How's it going?"

To my delight, Jacob took his hand and gave it shake then answered, "Good, thanks."

I looked out the open door to see if anyone else was with him then I heard Emmett say over my shoulder, "Sorry, it's just me."

I turned back to him and he smiled, "But I brought you something." Stepping back outside, he picked up a shopping bag and brought it in as I closed the door.

"You brought me a present?" I asked.

"Yeah. I think you'll like it," Emmett returned with a grin. Setting the bag down on the table, he pulled out a big book of some kind. He laid it on the table and said, "Here, sit down."

I eased into the chair and caught my breath as he opened the book. It was a scrapbook . . . of Carly! "Oh my gosh, Emmett. This is . . . this is so . . . wonderful." On the first page was a picture of just Carly, as she looked when I last saw her. As I ran a finger over the image of her beautiful face, I felt the tears run down my mine.

Emmett pulled up a chair on the other side of me, as Jacob had reclaimed his chair, and I felt Emmett's arm around my shoulder as he said softly, "I talk about you all the time to her, and I have a picture of you that I show her. She won't forget you, Bella. I promise."

I looked up at him just as a sob escaped and he drew me close and let me cry. I missed her so much and longed to hold her and to sing to her and to just let her know that I loved her. I was so afraid that she would forget me, but now, to hear that Emmett was talking to her about me, well, it was just too much for me.

I felt Jacob's hand on my leg and finally, I sat up and wiped my eyes and laughed as I told Emmett, "Geez, you bring me a present and I bawl all over you. Sorry about that." Jacob handed me a couple of napkins for me to blow my nose and wipe my eyes, and once I was under control again, I took a deep breath and reached for the book to turn the page.

"I've been working on this since we left," Emmett explained as I turned the pages. "Carlisle gave me a camera and told me to take pictures of her every other day or so to document her development. So, I made two copies of every picture I took - one for his photo album, and one for your scrapbook. No one else knows about this. It pissed me off that they didn't think you would want pictures of your own daughter."

I did think it was strange that Edward didn't send pictures. I asked him once and he told me that he didn't want to risk sending something through the mail as he was sure the Volturi would be watching. Same with email. But as I turned the pages and watched my daughter change before my very eyes, I was more angry with Edward than I thought possible and very grateful to Emmett for thinking of me.

"Oh wow, look at that one," Jacob said as we looked at a close-up of Carly's face. "She really does have your eyes," he said softly.

I smiled at him, hoping someday soon he could actually see her in person and turned the page. We reached the end of the book way too soon, and as I started to close it, Emmett stopped me and reached over to take a disc out of an envelope on the back cover. "Do you have a DVD player on your laptop?" It was sitting on the table as Jacob and I had used to help with his studying.

I nodded and he moved the laptop over and opened the drive to pop the DVD in and then close it. Quickly he set it up then he turned the screen so we could see it and suddenly, there was Carly! "I have a video camera, too, and I made this for you," Emmett said into my ear as I watched in awe.

Tears ran again as I watched my daughter smile into the camera. I could hear Emmett's voice in the background of the video as he said to her, "Come on, Carly Fries . . . smile for Mama."

I turned to him and said, "Carly Fries?"

He chuckled and explained, "Yeah, that's one of my many pet names for her. You know, curly fries . . . Carly fries? Get it?"

"Yeah, I get it," I said with a smile as I turned my attention back to the screen. Carly rolled over and I heard Emmett say, "Yay! Look at you, baby girl."

Jacob and I watched in amazement as Carly grew right in front of our eyes. She had been gone now for two months, and by the end of the video she was sitting up on her own and waving and playing patty-cake. Right before it was over, on the screen appeared Emmett with Carly in his lap. He had put the camera on a tri-pod so he could say, "Bella, I want you to know that Carly remembers you. When we talk about you, she puts her little hand on my face and shows me a memory of you walking her around her room and talking to her about all the things there." Just then, Carly's hand touched Emmett's face and he smiled. "Yes, baby, that's your mama. Look at the camera and wave at her." Carly waved her little hand as she smiled then I froze as I heard her say, "Mama."

As I gasped, Emmett said to me with a smile, "Yeah, I taught her that."

The screen went dark as the video was over and I turned to Emmett, smiling through my tears. "She remembers me."

Emmett pulled me close again as I sniffed and told him, "Thank you, Emmett. Thank you so much. This is . . . amazing."

Sitting up, I wiped my eyes yet again as he said, "Look, Bella. You know I wasn't in favor of running and hiding like a bunch of wimps. When I found out they drugged you and you had no idea we all were leaving, I was pissed! I railed at Edward and called him every name in the book, but I knew he was barely listening. He had his mind made up and there was nothing anyone could say that would change it. I almost left, but for some reason, I stayed and now I know why. It became apparent to me very quickly that Rose was determined to be Carly's mother and make her forget all about you. Edward doesn't do a thing about it. He keeps assuring me that it's harmless . . . he thinks it's fine for Rose to 'have her little fantasy' as he calls it, but I don't. YOU are Carly's mother, and so, I decided that I would make sure that she remembered that."

Anger at Edward and Rosalie built up until I felt I could rip them both apart. Shoving my chair back, I stood up to pace the kitchen, as my body was now humming with energy. "I can't believe that son of a bitch! He promised me he wouldn't let Carly forget me. Damnit!"

"Edward is different, Bella. He's . . . I don't know, he's just so wrapped up in Carly. She's everything to him. He doesn't care about anyone or anything but Carly. Tanya even gave up . . . " Emmett stopped as he realized what he said then added quickly, "Oh, maybe you didn't know . . .

"No, I knew he was seeing her."

Nodding, he went on, "Well, she gave up trying and doesn't even visit anymore. The only time Edward isn't with Carly is when he hunts, and that's usually when I take her to 'document her development,' as Carlisle says."

"Does Carlisle still watch over her? Is he with you?"

Emmett replied, "He visits twice a month now and takes measurements and examines her. So far, she's in really good health. She still takes blood, but she eats some human food, too. Mostly fruit . . . she loves bananas," he finished with a smile.

"I love bananas, too," I said softly, thinking how at least we shared something. Then I looked at him as I asked, "Edward doesn't know you're here, does he?"

Shaking his head, he answered, "No. I was sent on a mission to get some supplies, and I took a little detour to deliver my gift."

Running my hand through my hair as I tried to quell my anger, I realized how much I owed Emmett. Looking at him, I said, "How can I ever repay you, Emmett?"

Pushing back his chair, he stepped over to answer, "You don't have to repay me. I love the little squirt . . . I love spending time with her, and I want you to know that I will watch over her for you until you can be with her again."

Leaning into him, I hugged him and mumbled, "Thank you, thank you so much," into his cold, chiseled chest.

After a moment, he stepped back to say, "I better get going. I have some time to make up."

"Of course. Um, thanks again. I really love the gift."

Emmett turned to Jacob to ask, "Everything quiet around here?"

"Yeah," Jacob answered. "The Volturi haven't been back since that one time, and we run patrols 24/7 and so far, nothing."

"Good. I hope it stays that way," Emmett returned. "Take care, OK?"

"You, too."

Emmett turned back to me and with a smile he said, "Good bye, Bella. I'll be in touch again somehow." Bending forward, he dropped a kiss on my forehead then he opened the door and with a wave, he was gone.

I just stood there, silently staring at the back door until Jacob walked over to put his arms around me. "I guess for a bloodsucker, Emmett's an OK guy," he said quietly.

I smiled at that. "Yeah, he is. I always think of him as the big brother I never had. I'm so glad that Carly has him with her." Then I sighed as Jacob hugged me close and I tried my best to find the strength I needed once again in his arms.


	38. Chapter 37

_**A/N: Again, I must apologize for the long time between posts . . . **_

_**All of my other stories more or less wrote themselves, but for some reason, this one has got me suffering from some writer's block. I finally had somewhat of a breakthrough yesterday, so I am now writing again . . . yay! As always, I love your reviews and I thank you for taking the time to read.**_

**CHAPTER 37**

**Jacob POV:**

_"Hey, guess what? I passed the GED test. I am now a high school graduate! Well, at least an equivalent of." _I had just phased to run patrol with Leah and I couldn't wait to tell her.

_"Jacob! That's great. I'm proud of you. When I'm not a wolf, I'll give you a hug," _Leah promised as she bumped me with her head.

_"Yeah, and Jared came to me this afternoon to tell me that his dad has a rental house on the rez that just opened up, and he wants to offer it to me and Bella if we want it."_

_"Wow. That's awesome! Where is it?"_

_"Just out of town, not too far from Sam and Emily's, which is good. We can still use their house as our meeting place. It's not a big house . . . two bedrooms and one bathroom, but that's all we need right now. Bella and I are going to take a look at it tomorrow."_

_"And you were so worried that things wouldn't work out. Look at you, Mr. Big Time. You have a diploma, a job and a house, all before Christmas! Not bad."_

I had to admit, things had turned out much better than I ever thought they would. Thanks to Bella, I passed my GED, and was finally done with school. That +was a real load off of my shoulders. And I felt I was doing a much better job at being Alpha by sticking closer to the rez and really putting all I had into it. I was actually starting to feel like it was a part of me. Even Sam was treating me with respect, which amazed me, but Paul . . . well, Paul was still Paul. I guess he was holding back until he decided that I had earned his respect. _Whatever . . . asshole_.

I hadn't really found a job, per say, but I finally finished the Harley I was working on, and the guy that bought it loved it so much, he offered to pay me to do another one for him. He owned a bike shop a couple of hours away, and told me I could work here and let him know when it was done and he'd come pick it up. So, he dropped the new bike off and I had been working on it every chance I got. With the price he paid me for the first one, I finally had a nice chunk of money in the bank, and was feeling pretty good about the future.

_"You coming to Sam and Emily's for Thanksgiving?" _I asked Leah. Since she and Embry were tight, she was getting a little easier about being around them, but I still wasn't sure she was ready to hang with them for the holidays.

_"Like I have a fucking choice? Mom is making a bunch of food to take over and she has ordered me to be in attendance with her and Seth."_

_"Oh come on, cranky-pants, it won't be so bad. Everyone else will be there, too, so you can blend in."_

_"I guess. How's Bella feel about being there with everyone?"_

_"Well, she seems OK I guess, but . . . she's kind of worried about being around you."_

_"Me? Why me?"_

_"Gee, I have no idea . . . you've always been so friendly." _To prove my sarcastic point, I remembered all those times that Leah rebuffed Bella and shot snide comments her way.

_"OK, so I called her a fucking leech lover a few times. It was the truth, wasn't it? Geez, people can be so touchy."_

_"Can you cut her some slack, please? She's the mother of my baby, and I hope that I'll convince her to become my wife very soon. You're my best friend. It would make my life a lot easier if you two were friends."_

_"Sure, Jake. We'll become besties and go to lunch and get our nails done and . . . "_

_"You know what I mean, Leah. Cut it out."_

_"Fine, Jacob. I will be nice to Bella. There. Happy?"_

_"Ecstatic. Now let's finish this stupid patrol. I want to get back to the garage and work on the bike for a couple of hours before dinner." _

So, Leah and I ran the perimeter of the rez several times as Embry and Quil ran the inner circuit and as usual, things were quiet. It had been ever since the Cullens packed up and moved out. I was thinking of putting just two wolves on patrol from now on, especially during the school week. It would help us all get a little more sleep.

I had been so afraid the Volturi would make a return visit, but we hadn't found any trace of them here or around Bella's at all. Maybe Bella really had convinced them that she knew nothing and that Edward didn't care about her anymore. I hoped so, because the last thing I wanted to worry about was any of those bastards coming here to hurt Bella.

Once our patrol was up and Collin and Seth took over for me and Leah, I headed for home, where I phased out, pulled on my shorts and headed straight for the garage. I loved working there in the peace and quiet. It was the one place I truly felt like the old Jake I used to be, before I became Jacob Black, the Almighty Alpha of the wolf pack. Here I could be that nerdy kid who liked to tinker and that was somehow very comforting. I walked into the garage and was surprised to find Bella waiting on me.

"Hey, beautiful," I cried out as soon as I saw her sitting there in the old lawn chair. She was knitting, yes, knitting, a blanket for our baby, and she was working on it as I stepped over to kiss her. "This is a nice surprise."

"Yeah? I thought so," she returned with a smile. "I also brought you some food. It's there on the workbench." Setting her knitting down, she stood up and walked over to uncover the food.

I followed and was delighted to see she had brought me some of the leftover fried chicken from last night, and some cookies. Picking up a chicken leg, I took a bite and sighed. "Mmm, I love this stuff cold. Thanks."

"You're welcome. I was planning on visiting with Rachel until you got home, you know, try to get a little closer to her, but she was gone when I got here, so I just let myself in to wait."

"Probably at Paul's. I swear they make me gag the way they can't stand to be away from each other for more than five minutes."

That made Bella laugh. "Kind of like the way you sneak over to my house almost every night to sleep with me?"

With a grin, I replied, "Charlie has to know, doesn't he? But he never says anything."

"Yeah. It's like if he doesn't acknowledge it, then he can pretend it's not really happening. It's a Dad thing, I guess."

"So, how was your day?" I asked between bites of chicken.

"OK, I guess," Bella sighed as she settled back into the lawn chair to pick up the blanket. "Edward called me today."

"Wow. It's been awhile. What did he want?"

"I know . . . over two weeks. He apologized and said that they moved to a new location and it took awhile to get settled. I begged him again to give me a clue, something to tell me where they are, but . . . he wouldn't budge."

"I'm sorry, Bells. I know how frustrated you are." I did. It was killing Bella to be away from her daughter. She looked at the scrapbook Emmett gave her every day, and I was sure she watched the DVD all the time, too, but only when she was alone. It always made her cry.

"Like he cares," she huffed. "I asked yet again if I could see her, and as usual, he told me it wasn't safe yet. I am so sick of this."

Having no reply, I threw the chicken bone into the trash can then reached over to pick up another piece and take a bite. What could I say that we haven't already said a thousand times since that bastard drugged her and stole her baby?

Finally, Bella began knitting again, and when I was finished with the chicken, I wiped my hands, shoved a cookie in my mouth and made my way over to the bike to see where I had left off. I was making some headway on this Harley, but I doubted I get it done before Christmas. I was lucky that Ben, the guy that owned it, wasn't in a hurry for it.

I worked while Bella knitted, both of us comfortable here in the garage, music from the radio drifting over us in the background. That was the cool thing about us . . . we didn't always have to talk. Being together was enough. After awhile, she packed the blanket into the bag she used for her knitting and stood up to stretch.

"You OK?" I asked as I wiped the grease off of my hands with a rag.

"Yes. Just stiff from sitting," Bella answered as she walked the few steps to the garage door. I watched as she wrapped her arms around herself and stared out into the night. I could tell she was thinking about Carly.

Pushing myself up off of the floor, I walked over to slip my arms around her from behind then snake them inside her coat and rest my hands on her baby bump. I loved that I could feel where our baby was growing now. It made it seem more real to me. Bella leaned back into me and we just stood there together, taking in the night air, swaying slowly in time to the song playing on the radio. It was getting pretty cold now at night, and I knew Bella was relishing the warmth by body was providing as she snuggled into me.

I bent forward a little so I could smell her hair which led to me putting a few kisses on her neck and nibbling at her ear. I felt her shiver and I asked quickly, "Are you cold?"

"Mmm, no. Your kisses send a shiver down my spine," Bella replied as she turned in my arms to wrap hers around my neck then whisper, "Kiss me, Jake."

Smiling, I bent toward her and captured her lips in a kiss that led to another and another. I loved the feel of her lips on mine, the feel of her hands moving up and down my back, her nails grazing my skin. Our tongues danced with each other as our lips moved and Bella moaned and pressed her body closer as I felt myself grow hard between us.

As we stood there making out in my dusty garage, I felt my heart soar. How many times had I come here to try and hide from the pain that consumed me at the thought of Bella in _his_ arms? Now she was mine, all mine. I groaned as Bella's hand slid down my stomach to run over my erection. I wasn't sure if it was her pregnancy hormones or what, but I wasn't about to question it. Breaking our kiss, she whispered, "I want you Jake. Now."

Nodding quickly, I let her take my hand and lead me out to her truck. It was parked on the dark side of the garage, and I guess she figured we could find some privacy there. I opened the door for her and let her crawl inside and then I followed, closing the door as quietly as I could. Bella already had her coat off and was pulling her pants off as I turned to her and grinned, unzipping my shorts to pull them down and ask, "How do you want to do this?"

Laying back on the seat, she held her arms out to me and I quickly moved between her legs and hovered over her. "Push your shirt up," I asked huskily.

Bella pushed it up, along with her bra so I could see her breasts. They were growing along with her pregnancy and I couldn't get enough of them. Smiling at her, I bent down to take one into my mouth. "Oh, yesssss," she moaned as I played at both of them, teasing and licking until I was throbbing with wanting her. As I reached down to touch her, I could feel her wetness seep out onto the truck seat. "Please, Jake, I need you now."

Obediently, I positioned myself and slid in slowly as she let out a moan. "Is that what you want?" I asked.

"Yes, oh God yes."

I started slow to let the feeling build then I would stop all together and just kiss her until she couldn't take it and she'd beg for more, then I would pull out and drive hard back into her . . . it drove her crazy. Finally I couldn't take it anymore either, and I drove harder and faster until Bella cried out and dug her nails into my shoulder as her body shook and I could feel her tighten around me. "Yes, Jake! Oh yessssssss . . . . "

That's all I needed to finally let go and cum inside her, my legs shaking, my heart pounding . . . it was everything I used to fantasize about. "I love your pregnancy hormones," I panted. "How long do you think this will last?"

Bella chuckled as she answered, "I don't know," trying to catch her breath. "I guess we'll just have to take advantage of them while they're here."

Looking down at her, I grinned. "God, you're so beautiful. I am so lucky, Bells."

"I'm the lucky one, Jake," Bella replied as she ran her hands over my shoulders.

Kissing her just once more, I pulled out to sit up and then hand Bella her pants as I pulled my shorts on and zipped them.

Bella smiled at me as I helped her with her pants then she pulled her bra and shirt down into place and as she put her arm into her coat, she started to say, "Jake, I need to . . . "

She was cut off by Rachel hammering on the window next to me. I jumped then was a little embarrassed to see she must have seen the fogged up windows. Good thing she didn't knock a few minutes sooner.

I quickly opened the door to ask, "What?"

"Here you are! I've been calling you for like five minutes," she said angrily. "I hate to interrupt your little sex romp, but I need your help. Dad fell out of his chair." And with that she turned and ran toward the house.

I anxiously looked over at Bella who ordered, "Go! Help Billy!"

Nodding, I left her there and took off running for the house, not stopping until I reached the living room where I found Dad with his back against his chair, trying to lift himself into it. I could see a little blood trickling down from a small cut on his forehead and I realized he must have hit his head on the table when he fell. Stepping over, I put my hand on his arm and said quietly, "Let me help."

I knew he hated feeling so helpless, but I could tell by the look in his eyes he was grateful. All I had to do was get my arms around his chest and I lifted him easily back into his chair. I guess that was one good thing to come out of being a wolf - the super human strength.

"Thanks, son," Dad said softly as he shifted to make himself more comfortable. "I tried to reach the remote for the TV and I guess it was farther than I thought and I . . . I just fell forward. Dumb ass thing to do."

By the time Bella walked in, Dad was back in his chair and yelling at Rachel to quit fussing over him. She had come in from the kitchen with a rag to clean his cut and was trying to put a band-aid on it. "I'm fine, daughter. Quit clucking over me like some damned mother hen," he spit out.

Shaking her head, Rachel stomped off to the kitchen as I looked over at Bella. Dad looked up, too, and said, "Hi Bella. You missed all the excitement. Apparently, Rachel thinks I'm completely helpless. I was almost back in my chair when Jake came in."

Bella stepped over to Dad and with her hands on her hips said, "Look, Billy, I'll give you the same speech I've given Jake over and over . . . Rachel just loves you and wants to help, so cut her some slack. You're both lucky she's here and willing to put with the two of you."

I bit my lip to keep from smiling at the sight of Bella reprimanding my Dad. He looked up at Bella sheepishly then turned to me to say, "I guess she's right, son. It's just hard to hold my tongue sometimes. We've lived too long here as bachelors."

"Yeah, I know." I stepped over to put my arm around Bella's shoulder, drop a kiss on her head then call out, "You can come out of your retreat now, sis. Dad promises to behave."

Rachel stalked back into the room to stand there angrily, with her hands on her hips, just like Bella had done. Must be a woman thing. "I swear to God, living here with the two of you will put me in an early grave." I could see she had been crying, but being Rachel, she stood there defiantly, not wanting us to see that she had been hurt.

Dad and I both smiled at that then I stepped away from Bella to pull Rachel into a hug. "Look, sis, we know we give you a hard time, and we're sorry. Bella here reminded us that you love us so we should cut you some slack, and she's right. I promise we'll try to chill a little if you will."

Rachel looked over at Bella and I wasn't sure whether she wanted to slap her or kiss her. She was a hard one to read. Finally she said, "Thank you, Bella, for being on my side. I guess the girls in this family need to stick together."

I was afraid I would faint dead away! _Did my sister actually include Bella in our family? Was she finally chilling a little where Bella was concerned?_ Bella looked at me with same surprised look on her face and I smiled. Finally Bella replied with a smile for Rachel, "Yes, we do."

"Alright, there's pie left from dinner. I know Jake wants some. How about you, Bella? Dad?" she asked us.

"You know I do," Billy said.

"Sure," I added with a nod.

"You want some help?" Bella asked.

Rachel nodded and Bella followed her into the kitchen. Before long, they were back with plates of pie for all of us, and before she sat down, Rachel sent me a smile that let me know she was alright. As I ate my pie, I looked around and was very happy that all my family was around me, Bella and my baby included. I guess now I owed Rachel . . . I would have to try harder to get along with Paul. _Damn_. Things were definitely looking up and I hoped to God they stayed that way for awhile.

"So, what do you think?" I asked Bella as we stood in the kitchen of the rental house owned by Jared's dad.

"I like it, Jake. I like it a lot," Bella said with a smile.

It was small, but all we would really need. The front door opened from the porch into a small living room with a stone fireplace. Bella loved the fireplace! And on one side of the living room was the kitchen, which had been freshly painted a sage green color and had new appliances, plenty of cabinets and an empty space in front of the windows for a table and chairs.

On the other side of the living room, was a hall that led to the two bedrooms and bathroom. One bedroom was bigger than the other, which would be ours, and the other could be for the baby. There was one other room that led off of the back of the living room that was probably supposed to be a dining room, and could be made into a bedroom if needed, but it still needed some work as the former tenant used it for storage and the floor and the walls were rather beat up.

"So, you think you could live here with me," I asked as I drew Bella into my arms. "Sleep here with me every night and wake up with me every morning?"

"Mmm, yes, yes I could," Bella answered as she lifted her face to let me know she wanted a kiss. With a smile, I obliged, and that's how Jared's dad, Chuck, found us.

Clearing his throat, he said, "Um, I hate to interrupt, but I wanted to know what you thought of the place."

We broke apart quickly and I replied, "We like it. How soon can we move in?"

A smile appeared on Chuck's face as he said, "Well, I still have some work to do in the bathroom and that room there off the living area, and I'd like to get the carpets cleaned, but I think I can have it ready by the first of December."

I glanced first at Bella who nodded then I smiled at Chuck and said, "Sounds good."

We signed the lease, and then I got into a fight with Chuck over the rent when he told me he wanted to give us this house six months rent free. "Now listen, Jacob, I want to do this for you. It's not charity . . . it's a gift."

"No rent for six months? That's an awful expensive gift."

"Not really. I have four other rental properties plus my contracting . . . I'm doing alright, son. You on the other hand, are 17 years old and having a baby. I've had three kids and I can tell you, there're not cheap. Plus you watch out daily for my kid and my family, and there's not enough money in the world to repay you for that."

Putting my hands on my hips, I looked at Chuck and asked suspiciously, "Did my dad put you up to this?"

Laughing, Chuck assured me, "No, Jacob he did not. I haven't talked to your dad since I saw him a month or so ago at the last bonfire. Look, I'm being a nice guy here. Just shut up and say 'Thank you.' "

With a sigh, I looked over at Bella who just smiled as she put her hands up to say, "Don't look at me. I know when you're being stubborn to just shut up and let you figure it out for yourself."

Chuck laughed at that and said, "You got a smart girlfriend here, Jake. I like her."

Finally I gave in and held my hand out to Chuck to say, "Fine. I'll agree to it, but I still think it's too much. I will pay you a security deposit and come June 1st, you are getting a rent check from me."

"You got it," Chuck said as he grabbed my hand to give a good solid shake. "I'll call you when the day gets closer and we'll set up a time to come over and go through it again and then I'll give you the keys, OK?"

We all agreed then we walked out with Chuck, said our goodbyes and got into the truck so I could drive Bella home. As I climbed behind the wheel, Bella said, "I'm proud of you, Jacob. I felt kind of bad at first, too, that he was willing to go without six months of rent just for us. Especially since I have so much money in the bank." I shot her a look that told her what I thought of her money in the bank. With a shake of her head, she went on, "But I could see it was really important to him to be able to do this for you. I think he meant what he said about you looking out for Jared and all of them on the rez. He respects you, Jacob . . . and that's, well, that's kind of cool, don't you think?"

As I started the engine, I sighed and mumbled, "I guess I better get used to the women in my life always being right. God, how awful."

Bella laughed out loud as I shoved the truck in gear and pulled out of the drive. Glancing over at her smiling face, I decided I was going to love living with Bella. I was looking forward to it more than I had ever looked forward to anything in my life. I told her what I was thinking and she said she felt the same, then added slowly, "Now all we have to do is tell my dad."


	39. Chapter 38

**A/N: _This turned out to be a really long chapter because the first part of this chapter should have been added on to the last chapter, but I had already posted it! So, anyway, enjoy some time with the wolf pack!_**

**CHAPTER 38**

**Bella POV:**

Dad was home from work by the time we walked through the door. "Hey kids," he greeted us from behind the newspaper.

"Hey, Dad. You got a second?" I asked. "We need to tell you something."

The paper slid down slowly as Dad looked at us over the top to say, "Sounds important."

"Um, it is, kind of," I replied nervously. _Why am I so nervous about this? _I had already been married, moved out, moved back in and was now divorced! Telling him I was moving to the rez to live with Jacob should be a piece of cake.

Folding the newspaper and laying it aside, Dad turned to say, "Well, you have my full attention. What's going on?"

I sunk down onto the couch as I said, "Um, Jacob and I went to look at a house today . . . on the rez." I went on to explain how Jared's dad owned several rental properties and he was offering this one to us, rent free for six months, and that we liked it and wanted to move in the first of December. As I talked, I watched for a reaction, but as a cop, Dad had become very good at hiding what he was thinking. I finished my little speech with, "What do you think?"

Finally, Dad asked, "You want to know what I think?" For some reason, he sounded a little surprised about being asked.

With a glance at Jake, I said to Dad, "Yeah, I want to know what you think. Why else would I ask?"

"Oh I don't know, Bella . . . you married a vampire without asking my opinion, I guess I'm kind of surprised that I actually get a say this time."

Hearing Jacob snicker beside me, I gave him a glare that told him I didn't think that was funny, so he quickly sobered as I turned back to Dad. "OK, I get that. You're right. I was wrong not to come to you and talk to you then, but I'm smarter now and I trust your opinion, so, again, what do you think?"

Dad was quiet for a few minutes before he looked over at Jacob and asked, "Are you ready to have that talk with me yet?"

I glanced quickly at Jacob to utter, "Talk? What talk?"

Jacob just grinned at Dad and said, "Yes. Yes, I am."

Nodding toward the kitchen, Dad stood and said, "Let's go."

"What?" I cried out. I was completely confused at what was going on between them. "What talk? Where are you going?" I asked as I got up to follow them.

Turning, Dad pointed his finger at me as he ordered, "You just have a seat and we'll be right back."

With my mouth hanging open, I watched Dad walk out the back door as Jacob followed, closing the door behind him. Snapping my mouth shut, I plopped back down onto the couch, crossed my arms over my chest and sat there fuming at being shut out of whatever "talk" they had to have. "Fine," I muttered to myself. "Have your little talk. You can cook your own dinner, too."

**Jacob POV:**

I followed Charlie out of the house, into the back yard then when he stopped to face me, I suddenly felt a little nervous. I don't know why . . . I had known Charlie all my life, and he had already told me he wanted me to marry Bella. _Calm down, Jake. Act like a man for God's sake._

"So, Jake," Charlie started, "Is this move permanent? I mean . . . have you asked her to marry you?"

"No, sir," I replied quickly. "I promised I would talk to you first, and I haven't mentioned marriage to Bella yet. But I have been thinking about it . . . a lot."

I could see Charlie's eyes crinkle with his smile before he said, "I'm sure you have, what with sneaking over most every night to sleep with my daughter."

_Shit._ "I'm sorry, Charlie. I know when we discussed that before . . . "

Charlie stopped me by putting his hand on my shoulder then saying, "It's OK, son. When we talked before, Bella was still married and hurting. Now she's divorced, pregnant with your baby and very much in love with you. I had a feeling this was coming, and I want you to know that . . . I'm OK with it. I would be happier if you were married, but knowing my daughter like I do, I'm not so sure it will be easy to get her to agree to that."

With a smile, I admitted, "I know. I'm worried about that, too. But, my goal for selling the Harley has always been to buy Bella a ring, and now that I've done that, I am determined to pick one out and propose. I was thinking of doing it at Christmas."

Charlie grinned and with a slap on the back, he said, "Well, son . . . good luck with that."

We both shared a laugh then Charlie sobered to say, "Jake, you have to know that I already love you like a son. I've known you since the day you were born, and I've watched you grow up through a lot of shit. No other way to say it. Losing your mom so young, watching your dad adapt to being in a wheelchair, then your sisters bug out first chance they got to leave you two on your own . . . well, through it all, you've been strong. I admire you for it."

"Thanks," I mumbled, trying to keep tears from coming to my eyes. Right now, I didn't feel too strong.

"I know you're still pretty young, only 17, but . . . I couldn't pick out a better guy for my daughter, I want you to know that."

All of a sudden, this lump in my throat appeared and I couldn't force any words around it. Looking at Charlie, I had a feeling he was having the same problem. That's when he pulled me in for a hug, pounding me on the back a few times before giving me a little shove away as he sniffed, "So, go ahead, Jake. Move my little girl to the rez, ask her to marry you, and have your happily ever after. If any two people deserve it, it's you and Bella."

With a nod, I managed to squeak out, "Thanks, Charlie. I really appreciate that."

Then his grin reappeared as he yanked me forward with his arm around my shoulders, saying, "Come on. We better get back in there before Bella throws something else into the fireplace."

I laughed at that then added, "You know she's going to make us cook dinner as punishment for leaving her out of our little talk, don't you?"

Laughing, Charlie agreed, "I know. Don't worry . . . I got it covered."

**Bella POV:**

When they waltzed back into the living room a few minutes later, Dad surprised me by letting me know he was OK with the idea of me moving. "It's not like I didn't see it coming, you know. But, I have to say, I just got used to you being home again and . . . I'm going to miss you when you leave."

Leave it to Dad to make me feel all mushy when I'm trying to stay pissed at him. With a sigh, I heaved myself off of the couch to stand up and say, "I'll miss you, too, but you come to the rez all the time to see Billy. You'll just have to make a small detour and come to see us."

"I suppose I can do that," Dad replied with a smile. We hugged then I told them both that they were in charge of dinner.

Jacob laughed and said to Charlie, "I told you. Do I know her or what?"

I turned to give Jacob a dirty look as Dad winked at him then announced, "OK. Pizza it is."

I swear, sometimes the two of them together drove me crazy, but I loved them both so much and I knew I'd be lost without them.

"Dad! Hurry up! We'll be late!" I called up the stairs. We were supposed to be at Sam and Emily's for Thanksgiving dinner in 20 minutes, and it took 15 to drive there. _Why is he taking so long to get ready?_ I wondered. That was not like my father.

"I know, Bells, I'm coming," I heard him call back as he finally walked down the stairs, running his hand over his hair as he reached the bottom. "Do you think I'm dressed alright?"

When I saw how he was dressed, I gave him a wolf whistle. He was wearing a dark green button down shirt tucked into a nice pair of black pants. I think I even detected a splash of after shave. I myself was wearing a new pair of maternity khaki pants I had just bought with a white shirt and navy blue sweater. All of a sudden, I wondered if I was underdressed. "What's up with you, getting dressed up without me telling you to?"

"Well, it's a holiday, isn't it? Aren't you supposed to dress nice when you're invited to someone's house for dinner?" was his mysterious reply. Now, my father had been invited many times to homes of the people he works with, including the mayor, and I never saw him get this dressed up. _Although, last week Sue had him over for dinner and I remember him wearing a button down shirt with his jeans . . . _

"Dad? Are you dressing up for someone special?" I asked with a smile curving onto my lips.

"What? Come on, let's go. You said we were going to be late," Dad said as he tried to brush by me.

I reached out to stop him with, "It's Sue, isn't it? Are you sweet on her, young man?"

With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, Dad insisted, "I'm not 'sweet on her', thank you very much. We are just friends. Can we go now?" _Me thinks thou dost protest too much . . ._

With a grin, I reached for my coat as I teased, "Sure, we can go now. But I've got my eye on you."

As Dad huffed and picked up the box that held the pies I baked, I opened the door for him and tried to hold back my chuckle. _Dad and Sue Clearwater, hmm. How did I feel about that?_ I wasn't sure, but I was going to keep an eye on them to see if I was right.

By the time we finally arrived, Sam and Emily's little house was filled with the smells of turkey and pumpkin pie and overflowing with people. Dad walked in first carrying the pies, and I followed, quickly scanning the room for Jacob, wishing now I had taken him up on his offer to come and pick me up. I still wasn't real comfortable at being around the pack as much as I thought I should be, but it was getting better.

"Bella! Hey, look at you," I heard right before I was enveloped in a huge pair of arms.

"Hey, Embry," I mumbled into his chest as I noticed he was wearing a shirt and smiled as I realized that I was so used to seeing the pack half naked, it seemed strange to see them dressed like normal guys.

Letting me go, he stepped back to ask in typical Embry fashion, "How's the little bun in the oven?"

With a smile and a roll of my eyes, I replied, "Baking nicely, thank you."

Embry laughed as Seth skipped over to say, "Hey, Bella. Glad you came," before giving me a one-armed hug and telling me excitedly, "Wait till you taste Mom's sweet potatoes. Even if you don't like sweet potatoes, you'll like these. They're all covered in brown sugar and marshmallows . . . that's the way I like to eat vegetables!"

As I chuckled with Seth, I heard a female voice behind me say, "Hey, Bella."

Turning, I saw Leah standing there beside Embry, surprisingly dressed in a short black skirt, topped with a white tank top and a short purple sweater. She even wore some make-up and jewelry - nice silver hoop earrings, and a silver necklace with small wolf charm. I wasn't used to her looking so . . . girly and well, she was gorgeous! All of a sudden, I felt a little dumpy. I was so taken aback that when I finally found my voice, I embarrassingly blurted out, "Wow, Leah . . . you look gorgeous!"

Embry and Seth snickered as Leah smirked, "Sorry, Bella, I don't swing that way, but thanks."

I was stunned for a moment, trying to figure out what she meant by that when Embry elbowed Leah and she said, "I'm sorry. What I meant to say is, thank you. You look nice, too." Then she turned to Embry to mutter, "I'm getting a beer."

I watched Leah as she sauntered to the kitchen to get her beer as Embry said in my ear, "Sorry, Bella. Jake warned her to be on her best behavior, but, well, that's just Leah. You'll get used to her."

"I hope so," I mumbled as Embry put his hand on my back to steer me further into the room. "Jake's back here with Sam. I'll show you the way," he offered, and I gratefully went with him. As we walked through the room, I noticed that Dad had made his way into the kitchen and was laughing at something Sue had just said. _Uh-huh . . . just what I thought._

We found Jacob with Sam, Quil and Jared in a back room of the house, in front of a small TV watching a football game. "Hey, Jake, look who I found," Embry announced as we walked in.

"Hey, Bells," Jacob greeted me as he walked over to kiss me. He, too, was dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans, which to me was just as hot as no shirt and just shorts. "I was wondering when you were going to get here."

"Well, I had to wait on Dad, actually," I told him with a smile. "He was getting all dressed up and putting on after shave. And just now, I saw him in the kitchen, laughing with Sue."

"Really?" Jake asked. "You think they got something going on?"

I just shrugged as Sam chuckled, "Wouldn't that be something?"

"So how long have you been here?" Jacob wanted to know.

"Just got here. Embry and Seth made me feel very welcome."

Embry smiled as he added, "Even Leah said hello."

Turning his head toward Embry, Jacob asked suspiciously, "What did she say?"

Laughing, Embry told him and Jake just rolled his eyes and said to me, "I'm sorry about her, Bella."

"It's OK. I have no idea why I blurted out that she was gorgeous. I guess I was just so surprised to see her looking so . . . "

"Like a girl?" Embry finished.

"Yeah," I admitted sheepishly. "I've never seen her like that. She really is pretty."

"Tell me about it," Embry leered. "I think she's pretty hot. You know, Bella, if you ever think about swinging that way . . . "

"OK, enough," Jacob interrupted with an elbow in Embry's side as Embry just chuckled. Turning to me, he suggested, "Let's go out and mingle."

I put my hand in Jacob's and allowed him to lead me back out into the bigger room where everyone was gathered. We weren't there long before Rachel untangled herself from Paul to drag me into the kitchen to get reacquainted with the girls of the wolf pack. Kim was there with Emily, who greeted me very warmly, and then Sue stepped up to say, "Hello, Bella. It's good to see you. How are you feeling?"

"Good, thanks. Doctor says that everything is right on schedule."

"That's great. It must be a relief, huh? I mean, what you went through with the other . . . " Sue stopped, and I could see her mentally kicking herself for bringing up Carly. Quickly regrouping, she said, "Uh, your dad seems very excited about this baby." _So, he and Sue have been talking, hmm? _

With a smile, I said, "Yeah, at first I think he was a little weirded out that I was old enough to make him a grandpa, but he seems to be OK with it now."

Just then, little Claire ran into the kitchen to beg Sue for some juice, so she excused herself to get it for her. I looked over to see Dad standing not too far away, drinking a beer with Billy, and I arched my eyebrows at him to let him know what I suspected.

With a look of disgust at being caught looking at Sue, he turned away and asked Billy a question about the Seattle Seahawks. I just smiled and looked back at Sue. _Did I really want a stepmom? Did I want Leah as a stepsister? Seth, definitely, but Leah? Too spooky to think about right now._

Thankfully, Jacob showed up to take me away and lead me out the front door onto the porch where he folded me into his arms and whispered, "This is much better. Just you and me."

"Mmm, I agree."

"Are you warm enough?" Jacob asked. It was cold enough to see his breath, but I nodded that I was fine, as his body was warm enough for both of us.

Before long, his lips met mine and I just enjoyed the feeling of being kissed by Jacob. I was amazed every day at how much I loved him. Every time I thought I couldn't love him more, he would kiss me or smile at me or do something completely silly like leave a little note under my pillow for me to find or buy a cute stuffed giraffe for the baby and I melted into a puddle and found myself loving him even more. He was the perfect man for me and I was so grateful every day that he had not given up on me.

"Ah-hah, there you are," we heard from the door. Breaking our kiss, we looked over to see Quil standing there. "Get your lips off of her and bring her inside. It's time to eat!"

"Come on. We better go now, or there won't be anything left," Jacob warned with a grin as he led me inside.

Watching a pack of werewolves eat is amazing. Plates heaped with as much food as they can hold, filled again and again. I was used to watching Jacob, but watching them all at one time was truly a sight to behold. As Jacob got up for another plateful, I heard a voice murmur, "Bunch of animals," and I was surprised to turn and see Leah sit down beside me.

She smiled at my surprise and added, "I may be a wolf, but I still try to eat like a lady." To prove her point, she took her fork and stabbed a single green bean then put it into her mouth and chewed slowly.

Returning her smile, I picked up my fork and did the same. We sat there, silently eating until Leah laid her fork onto her plate then looked over at me to say, "Look, Bella, I know I haven't exactly been Miss Congeniality when it comes to you. Frankly, you pissed me off royally for a long time." She stopped and glanced over at Jacob, who was laughing with Embry over something then she went on, "You see, Jake is . . . well, he's a good guy, one of the best, and I hated watching him chase after you day after day only for you to shit all over him, you know?"

As always, I was amazed at Leah's ability to paint such a lovely picture with her words. "Yeah, I get that."

"So, now that you've dumped your bloodsucker and you've got a pup on the way, Jake is over the moon happy, and I want to see him stay that way, capisce?"

Nodding with a small smile, I replied, "I want the same thing, Leah. I love him, I really do, more than anyone or anything. I promise, I won't hurt him again."

Leah held my gaze for a moment before saying, "Good. I'll hold you to that." Leaning forward, she set her empty plate on the coffee table then turned to ask, "So what's up with our parents getting all giggly with each other? It's rather disgusting. Have you noticed?"

"Yes. We were late tonight because Dad was worried about what to wear! He even put on after shave."

"Same here. Mom changed her clothes four times and when I asked her why, she told me she just wanted to be 'comfortable in the kitchen.' Look at her. Does she look like she dressed to be comfortable?"

Looking over at Sue, who was sitting at the table between Billy and my Dad, I laughed softly as I took in her tight fitting blouse, crisply ironed pants and . . . shoes with heels as Leah added, "I didn't know she even owned a pair of heels!"

"Has Seth noticed?" I asked her.

"Please," Leah responded with an eyeroll. "The only things the little dweeb notices is food, his X Box, and girls . . . and in that order."

As I laughed out loud, Jacob walked over to stand in front of us with a furrowed brow as he said slowly, "I'm not sure I like this. What's going on?"

Leah nudged with me her shoulder as she smiled at me then she stood up to face Jacob. "Nothing you'd understand, boss man. Just girl talk."

"Girl talk, huh?" Jacob asked suspiciously.

"Yes, Jacob. I am a girl, therefore I am perfectly capable of having girl talk. Of course, I'm not as good at you as you are." Then, in typical Leah fashion, she mimicked the guys by wiping her nose on her arm and grabbing her crotch briefly before saying, "But I've had enough. Time to wolf it up and find my man." As Jacob shook his head at her, Leah threw a wink at me then walked off to find Embry.

Jacob sunk down next to me as I laughed. "I'm sorry about Leah, but she's my best friend, so what can I do?"

"Don't be sorry, Jake. We actually had a good talk. I think we're going to be alright," I assured him. At least I hoped so. I admired Leah, a lot. Being the only girl wolf in this pack of guys . . . running with them and killing vampires . . . took a lot of guts. Especially after all she had been through in the last year. Yes, I wanted us to be friends. But sisters? That, I wasn't sure of at all. 

Mom called a couple of days after Thanksgiving to tell me she was coming home for a visit at Christmas. Phil was going to visit his parents in North Dakota, and told her he understood that she needed to see me. It had been almost 6 months since I had seen her and I really did miss her. I guess I didn't really mind being her excuse to get out of Christmas with her in-laws.

"How are you feeling, honey? Everything OK?"

"I'm good, really. I have my energy back and my appetite. Things are really good right now."

"I'm so happy for you. So, you and Jake . . . any wedding bells in the future?"

"Mom, I just got divorced. I don't want to jump right into another marriage."

"Yes, but you're pregnant. Don't you want to get married before the baby comes?"

"I don't care if we ever get married, really. I just want to be with Jacob. We're moving next weekend into our own little house on the rez, and for now, that's enough."

"Really," Mom let out slowly. "What did your father have to say about that?"

"He's fine with it. He gave us his blessing after he had some private talk with Jacob. Neither one of them will tell me what they talked about, but whatever it was, he seems happy about me being with Jacob. And he hasn't mentioned marriage once."

"What? Wow . . . you really have your dad wrapped around your little finger, don't you?"

Thankfully, someone knocked on the front door and I said, "Mom, I gottta go . . . someone just knocked at the door. I'll talk to you later, OK?"

"Yeah,sure. Bye, honey."

Being very thankful to whoever was at the door for getting me out of that conversation, I pushed myself off of the couch as I closed the phone to answer the door. I opened it to find Emmett standing there with his signature grin on his face. "Hey, sis."

"Emmett!" I cried out as he scooped me in for a hug. "It's so good to see you again."

"Yeah, you, too. Oh my gosh . . . look at your baby belly," Emmett exclaimed as he set me away from him to get a look. "It's bigger! Can I . . . touch?"

"Sure," I smiled as I took his hand and placed it on my baby bump then jumped a little as I forgot how cold his hand would be.

"Wow. Is everything OK?"

"Yep . . . just fine."

After removing his hand, he stepped back and picked up a bag off of the porch before walking inside. "I brought you another book."

Excitement ripped through me at the thought of seeing pictures of my little girl again! I quickly settled on the couch beside him as he pulled the book out of the bag and set it on my lap. "It's not as thick because there's only a little over a month's worth since I was here last," he stated, "but she's still changed quite a bit."

I hurriedly opened it and then just stared at the face of my baby, my Carly. She had grown again and her hair hung in auburn ringlets around her face. She was now only a little over 4 months old, but already looked like a toddler.

"She's walking now," Emmett said quietly as he turned the page to point at a picture of Carly taking a step toward Edward, who held his arms out to her. Tears quickly formed and ran down my cheek as I realized I was missing yet another important milestone in my daughter's life.

"Look at her," I whispered. "I can't believe I'm missing this."

I felt Emmett's arm rest on my shoulder as he comforted me the best he could. "Bella, I still talk to her about you all the time, but . . . there's something you need to know."

Dragging my eyes away from the photos of Carly, I looked at Emmett to ask, "What is it?"

He hesitated for just a moment before finally saying, "Things are so . . . look, I left, and this time, I'm not sure I'm going back."

I was shocked! He left Rosalie? They had been together for . . . well, I don't how long, but a long time! Emmett took in my shocked look and said, "I know, weird huh? But you haven't been around them . . . both of them have changed so much. I mean, I love being with Carly, and I hated to leave her, but . . . "

"Something happened, didn't it? What?"

"Look, I love Carly, she's a beautiful girl, but . . . Edward and Rose, they are . . . so obsessed with her! They spend all their time with her, they give her anything she wants, they don't think of anyone or anything but Carly. Rose and I . . . " Emmett stopped for a moment before jumping off the couch to say, "I haven't had sex in like 2 months! I don't know that Rose and I have ever gone even 2 days before, let alone 2 months! She wants nothing to do with me anymore . . . we don't even talk, let alone have sex. I finally lost it and tried to make her understand, but she couldn't see it. Then she found out that I talked to Carly about you, and about the scrapbook . . . we fought and I left to hunt, to try and get out some of my frustration and anger."

Emmett stopped talking for a moment as he stood at the fireplace and rested his arm on the mantle. I could see he wasn't finished with his story yet, but he was hesitant to go on, so I prodded gently, "Then what happened?"

"When I went back the next day, Rose came to me and . . . she asked me if we could talk. She smiled that smile that I love and took my hand to lead me to our bedroom . . . I thought . . . " Emmett stopped to give me a small smile, "Well, you know what I thought."

I did . . . Emmett and Rosalie were legendary for spending a lot of time in the bedroom.

He went on, "She closed the door and kissed me and led me to sit on the bed then she . . . she asked me if I would consider getting a human girl pregnant for her so she could have a baby of her own. Can you fucking believe that?"

I could. Knowing how obsessed Rosalie had been with Carly . . . I'm surprised that Emmett hadn't seen it coming. "Yes, I can. What did you tell her?"

"What do you think I told her?" Emmett asked angrily. "I told her she was fucking crazy if she thought I would have sex with some poor girl just to get her pregnant so she could steal the baby after the girl died giving birth to it. That's just sick! It's hard enough being what I am and not . . . and staying away from things like that, you know?"

I just nodded. I quickly remembered Edward telling me about the blood lust and how it's increased when you have sex with your victim . . . I was even more proud of Emmett for refusing.

"I guess she went to Edward first and asked him, seeing that he managed to get you pregnant, and tried to convince him that Carly needed a brother or sister, but he flat out refused her. Even in this, I wasn't her first choice."

"Because she knew what your answer would be. You're a good guy, Emmett. She knew you wouldn't go for it."

"I suppose," he muttered as he dropped his head.

Again I felt like this was my fault . . . for having Carly, for not being strong enough to keep her with me . . . "I'm so sorry. All of this has gotten so out of hand . . . "

Emmett's head popped up as he stopped me with, "Don't be. I haven't told you the worst yet."

"There's more?"

"Yeah. When I left, I went to Carlisle first to tell him how I felt about what was going on. He agreed with me, telling me he, too, was a little worried about how much both of them had changed, but apologized to me for not realizing just how bad things had gotten. He assured me that he would keep an eye on things while I was gone. I just didn't want them to disappear without anyone knowing where they are, you know?"

I nodded then Emmett rested his hands on my shoulders as he looked into my eyes to say, "But, what I found out from Carlisle, well, that's why I came here. Bella, you need to know that . . . well . . . Edward has been lying to you."

"Lying to me?"

"Yes. For the last couple of months now," Emmett dropped his hands as he went on to explain, "When I asked him about the Volturi, Carlisle told me that Aro seems satisfied with the updates that he provides on a monthly basis on Carly's development. They would like to see her sometime in the future, but Aro has agreed that it will be on Carlisle's terms. Oh, and he also does not know about Carly's gift. Carlisle wisely kept that from him." Again he looked into my eyes as he said slowly, "What I'm trying to tell you, is . . . the threat that existed is gone, Bella. There is no reason to keep Carly in hiding. Edward is using that as an excuse to keep her from you."

My heart picked up it's beat as I took in what Emmett was saying. _He lied to me . . . all this time, he's been lying! _"Are you sure? I mean, maybe you misunderstood . . . " I began as I tried hard to understand exactly what Emmett was telling me.

"Yes, I'm sure. When I told Carlisle that Edward had still been keeping Carly from you, he seemed genuinely surprised. I guess Edward had told him that you had been keeping in contact, but had decided not to travel while you were pregnant. That you were being overly cautious with this baby because of what you went through with Carly. "

"And he believed that?" I asked incredulously.

Emmett nodded before saying, "Yeah, he did. Look, I told you Edward is different. We never had any reason to doubt his word before. Especially Carlisle . . . I mean, they've been together for so long and he and Edward have always been so open and honest with each other. But Edward is so overprotective of Carly to the point of it becoming unnatural. He doesn't allow us to say your name in front of him or Carly. He hates it when Carly shows him her memory of you, and he tells her that you can't be with them because you're a human, and different that they are. It's not right."

I sunk down onto the couch as my brain went into overdrive. _Oh my God . . . it's true. All these months without her . . . I thought I was doing the right thing._ I could feel my anger grow in the pit of my stomach until it was red hot and I wanted nothing more than to hunt Edward down and rip him apart!

Looking up at Emmett, I demanded, "Where is he?" When he hesitated, I said louder, "Tell me, Emmett. Where the hell is he?"

"Vancouver," Emmett answered quietly as he sat down beside me.

"Vancouver? Canada?"

"We just moved there three weeks ago. Edward decided he wanted Carly to see snow on her first Christmas. He rented a house there not too far from Carlisle and Esme, who have been living there for awhile now."

I couldn't believe it . . . for the last three weeks, my baby was merely hours away from me. "How long does it take to drive there?" I asked.

"I made it here in like 4 hours, but I drove pretty fast and . . ."

Standing up, I cut him off with, "Then let's go."

"What?" Emmett asked as he stood up beside me. "You want to go? Right now? What about your Dad? And Jacob?"

_Jacob . . . yeah._ _He would never want me to go alone. But I wasn't alone. I was with Emmett._ "I'll call them on the way," I threw out as I moved toward the door to grab my coat and purse and Emmett followed.

"I'm not sure this is such a good idea, Bella."

Whipping around to face him, I felt the anger pour through my veins, making me stronger than I had ever felt as I told him angrily, "I have missed three months of my baby's life, Emmett. I thought I was doing the right thing by allowing Edward to hide her from the Volturi, and now I find out he's just playing me for a fool. You think you can keep me here? Just try it."

With a grin, Emmett replied, "I may be big and strong, but even I'm not stupid enough to try it. Let's go."

I jerked open the door to see his Jeep sitting outside and as I hurried toward it, I was determined to see my baby no matter who I had to go through to do it.


	40. Chapter 39

_**A/N: OK, so sorry this has taken so long to update! I have been busy, but really this story has just taken a turn that has been hard for me to write. I have been over and over this chapter, and I'm still not really sure that I am happy with it, but I need to quit obssessing and move on! It's getting weird . . . let me know what you think.**_

**CHAPTER 40**

**Jacob POV:**

_"Are you serious? That's what you're so fucking pissed about? A dance?" _I was running patrol with Leah and I could feel the anger roll off her as soon as she phased.

_"Yes, a dance. You think I want to get all dressed up and go to some lame high school Holiday Dance?"_

_"No, but if it's important to Embry, don't you think you could suck it up for a couple of hours for him?"_

_"I'm not in high school anymore! I sure as hell don't want to go back now."_

_"What is it that's really eating you about this? Why are you making such a big deal out of something so stupid?"_

_"That's what I asked Embry! This is so fucking stupid . . . it shouldn't be a big deal to him. He's acting like such a chick."_

_"Maybe he just wants to show off his hot girlfriend to the guys at school. Ever think about that?"_

_"Whatever. I did that shit already . . . "_

_"With Sam. OK, I get it now."_

_"This is NOT about Sam," _Leah insisted, even though I caught a quick peek of a memory she had of her and Sam, locked together in a slow dance and I could feel the love between them before she shoved it away again.

_"Leah, just because this is something you did with Sam, doesn't mean you can't make a new memory with Embry. Maybe it would help . . . "_

_"I don't want to go, Jake, and this is none of your business so just back the fuck off!"_

Giving up, I left her to sulk on her own and ran ahead choosing to think instead about how I should I ask Bella to marry me. I wasn't sure she would accept my proposal, knowing she wasn't too keen on getting married the first time around, and now that she was divorced, I didn't know if she would be willing to jump into another marriage. But I was determined to try, so I was planning on going into Port Angeles over the weekend to find a ring.

Leah butted into my thoughts, _"So, you're really going to do it, huh? Ask her to marry you?" _

_"Yep. And I hope and pray she's not as stubborn as I know she will be."_

_"Why is it so important to you? Getting married?"_

_"I love her, Leah. I know I'll never love anyone else the way I love her, and I want us to be married. I want that commitment . . . I want that 'until death do us part' promise. Plus, I want us to be married for our baby. I want this kid to know that his parents love each other and are committed to being a family."_

_"Gag! I think I'm going to fucking puke. Geez, are you sure you even have a penis? Maybe I should check."_

I stopped in front of her to lift my leg and pee on a tree, just to show her, yes, I have a penis, and it's a nice size, too, in case she was wondering.

_"Ooh, nice, Jake. OK, so you have a penis. Can you think about something else until we're done here? I'm still a little queasy."_

We finally made it to the end of the patrol and as soon as I phased out, I ran home to shower and change. I hadn't seen Bella since yesterday, and I suddenly found myself in a hurry to run to Forks.

As soon as I walked in, Rachel called out that Bella had called and wanted me to call her back right away. "Is something wrong? Is she OK?" I asked quickly.

Rachel walked into the kitchen to answer, "I don't know. She didn't say. You hungry?"

"I'm always hungry," I told her as I picked up the phone to dial Bella's cell phone.

I watched Rachel take some containers out of the fridge to reheat some food for me as I waited for Bella to answer. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me. You OK?"

"Yes, I'm fine." Bella paused for a moment then added hesitantly, "I, uh, I am on my way to Vancouver . . . with Emmett."

"What? Vancouver, Canada? Are you serious?"

"Yes. I'm going to see Carly." She then proceeded to tell me how Emmett had come to tell her that Edward had been lying to her all this time . . . there was no threat, no reason to hide. Instantly my anger towards Edward was making the vein that had popped out on my forehead want to explode. "Apparently he rented a house just west of Vancouver about three weeks ago . . . Emmett says that Carlisle and Esme live close by too."

"That arrogant bastard," I blurted out before asking, "Where are you now? I'm coming with you."

"Jacob, you don't have to do that. I can do this on my own. Well, with Emmett. I'll call you when I get there, I promise. Please don't worry about me."

"Do you want me to quit breathing?" I shot back at her.

With a soft laugh, Bella said, "Yeah, I know. If you're breathing, you're worrying. I'm fine, really. I love you."

"I love you, too," I managed to get out just before she hung up. "Damnit!" I hung up the phone and stared at it for like half a second then turned to Rachel to say, "Don't bother with the food, sis. I gotta go. Not sure when I'll be back."

As I reached for the doorknob, Rachel asked, "Did I hear you say 'Vancouver'?"

"Yep. Bella found Carly and she's already on her way there," I called over my shoulder as I whipped open the door and quickly ran for the woods. There was no way in hell I was going to let Bella do this without me.

As soon as I phased, I heard Embry say, _"Whoa, dude. You are pissed. What the hell is going on?"_

I let him see the phone call I had from Bella then let him know, _"There is no way she is doing this without me. I'm heading to Canada."_

_"Not alone you're not. I'm coming with you."_

_"Count me, in, too." _I heard from Quil who was on patrol with Embry.

_"Look guys, I appreciate that, but I don't think . . . "_

_"Doesn't matter. We're on our way to meet you."_

_"And who is going to take patrol?"_

_"Jared and Brady should be phasing in any minute now," _Quil answered.

True to his word, we felt them phase in, and Quil let them know where we were going.

_"Someone get word to Leah. Tell her to stay here . . . she's in charge while I'm gone," _I told them. She would be royally pissed when she found out from someone other than me, so I added, _"Let her know that I left in a hurry and these bozos just joined in without me asking."_

_"Yeah, like that will help. You'll have to endure her wrath when you get back," _Jared quipped. _"You, too, Embry."_

_"Shit, you're right. Man, I hate when she's pissed. Although the make-up sex might be worth it." _

_"Geez, Embry, give us a fucking break, will ya? _Quil interjected._ "You know how hard it is for me to look Leah in the eye now?" _Quil was pretty sick of the Embry and Leah sex show. I guess because he and Embry were on patrol a lot together and I'm sure Embry had a harder time of hiding it than Leah did.

_"Alright, guys, focus here. We're on a mission. Let's go."_ As we raced north through the woods, towards the Canadian border, I just hoped we could get there in time. I wasn't sure what was going to go down, but I had a bad feeling about it that I couldn't shake.

****

**Bella POV:**

Emmett turned out the lights on the Jeep as we drove down the drive then pulled it over and parked it a ways from the house. Even though it was dark, I could see that the house was actually a beautiful log cabin, sitting alone in the woods with smoke curling from the stone chimney . . . the kind I always wanted when I was a little girl and hooked on the _Little House on the Prairie _books. Looking over at me, Emmett asked, "How do you want to do this?"

As we drove for the last four hours, I had been picturing this moment in my head . . . how it would be to see Carly again and all that I wanted to say to Edward. But now that it was here, I wasn't sure of anything. I took a deep breath to push down the panic and tried hard to find that anger that was still boiling inside me, then I turned to Emmett and said, "I'm going in to get my baby before he figures out we're here. Let's go."

Jumping from the Jeep, I stalked toward the house, Emmett right beside me. When we reached the door, I glanced over at him to catch his wink then he reached out and turned the doorknob and opened the door for me.

We stepped inside into this large open room with a huge stone fireplace at one end to find Rosalie picking up toys. Seeing Emmett, Rose's eyes lit up as she started to say, "Emmett, you're back . . . " then she saw me. First I saw the shock, then the anger at Emmett for bringing me here. As Rosalie straightened, I stalked over to her and before I realized what I was doing, my arm swung through the air as I landed a slap onto her face. Ignoring the fierce pain in my right hand, I was satisfied to see her head reel back as I growled, "You selfish bitch! Where the hell is MY baby?"

With her hand on her face, covering what I hope was the sting of my slap, Rosalie just stared at me, saying nothing. Then, a wicked smile began to curve on her lips as she said, "You won't find her here."

_Shit! Edward must have read Emmett's mind when we arrived . . . something tipped him off. _Emmett immediately raced up the stairs as I grabbed Rosalie by the shoulders to give her a shake as I demanded, "Tell me where she is. NOW!"

Rose shrugged my hands off of her and gave me a shove that sent me reeling back onto the couch. "Don't touch me again," she hissed. "Carly is better off without you, you cheating whore."

Quickly pushing myself from the couch, I stood in front of her, but before I could retaliate, Emmett came running back down the stairs to say, "They're gone. Where are they, Rose? Did they go to Carlisle's?"

Rose just smiled again, not answering, and as I took in the look on Emmett's face, I was suddenly a little scared. Emmett was a teddy bear, but I also knew he was a deadly vampire underneath that. Suddenly, he reached out and grabbed Rosalie by the shoulders and shook her as I had, but when I saw her head flop around like a rag doll, I realized he was using a lot more force than I had. "Damnit, Rose! Don't do this . . . don't be this way."

"Let me go!" Rosalie screamed as she tried to shove Emmett away. "You don't love me . . . you don't care about me. You wouldn't have brought that slut here if you did."

"Stop it, Rose. Look at me," Emmett demanded. I watched as his hands moved from her shoulders to cup her face as he softened his voice to plead, "Rosie, please . . . don't do this. Just tell me . . . where is Carly?"

Before she could answer, we heard noise from outside. As I listened, I heard shouting and . . . _howling?_ Emmett heard it too and he let Rose go as he whipped around to head to the door with me right on his heels. As we ran outside, we stopped in our tracks to see Edward, clutching Carly to his chest, surrounded by three snarling wolves . . . one of them with a russet coat. _My Jacob_ . . . I knew he wouldn't listen to me, and thank God he didn't.

"Going somewhere, Edward?" I heard Emmett ask behind me.

"Call them off, Bella!" Edward shouted, his voice full of rage. "I won't let them hurt my daughter!"

"You know Jacob would never hurt Carly," I returned as I hurried over toward him, adding, "You, however, I'm not so sure." The wolves quieted and retreated just a few steps to allow me access to Edward and I ran my hand along Jacob's side as I passed him and whispered, "Thank you." Excitement ripped through me like an electric current as I saw my baby for the first time in four months. Stopping in front of Edward, I looked into her beautiful cherub face as I said softly, "Hello, Carly."

I could see Carly was terribly frightened by the wolves and probably confused at what was going on. Dressed in pink pajamas, she was clinging tightly to Edward who was whispering in her ear, I assumed trying to comfort her. Suddenly, I became a little concerned at what I saw in those familiar eyes of hers . . .

"Carly? It's me . . . your mama. Can I see you?" I asked gently as I raised my hands palms up as an invitation to take her into my arms.

Those brown eyes, so like mine, were quickly turning black and I watched in horror as Carly suddenly showed her tiny fangs to me. Instantly, I felt like I was in some horrible B movie and as everything erupted, and even though it all happened so quickly, I felt I was watching it in slow motion. First, I heard this terrifying hiss come from my sweet baby girl, and the next thing I know, she is flying through the air at me, ready to attack. I froze in shock and watched as a blur of russet fur blocked my view and then this piercing howl rang through the air as Jacob hit the ground with Carly on his neck . . . her fangs sunk deep into his fur!

Instantly I screamed at Edward, "Get her off of him!" But he did nothing as I screamed again and again, and as the panic in me rose to a frenzy, I watched Edward stand there, still as stone, with this almost satisfied look in his eyes.

Suddenly, Emmett stepped forward to grab Carly away from Jacob and shove her at Rosalie, who took her and cradled her, whispering in her ear. Tearing my gaze from Carly, who I noticed in horror had Jacob's blood dripping from her chin, I watched in amazement as Jacob's wolf body disappeared and was replaced by his naked human form, just lying there on his stomach, face down into the dirt.

All hell broke out as immediately, the other two wolves descended on Edward. I stood there frozen as chaos erupted and then finally I turned to Emmett, who crouched over Jacob and looked at me as if to ask permission and I nodded as he shouted out, "Call Carlisle!" before he threw me his phone then he plunged his fangs into the small bite mark on the back of Jacob's neck to suck the venom out. With Carly being so small, I had no idea if she had enough venom to do any harm, but knowing that vampire venom is fatal to werewolves, I was grateful to Emmett that he was willing to do what he had to do to save Jacob.

My hands were shaking so much, I had a hard time holding the phone, but I managed to find Carlisle's number and when he answered, I shouted into the phone, "Come to Edward's now! It's an emergency!" then I dropped the phone and hit my knees in front of Jacob's head. "Please, Jake . . . please hold on," I begged as a sob escaped. "Please, please don't leave me."

I could still hear the wolves and Edward as they fought, and Rosalie shouting to them to stop. I knew I should intervene, but I was paralyzed with fear for Jacob. After what seemed like hours, Emmett finally lifted his head to look at me. I could see how hard it was for him to stop . . . his body was shaking as he ran the back of his hand across his mouth to wipe Jacob's blood away. My stomach suddenly gave a violent lurch, and I squeezed my eyes shut as I forced the vomit back down my throat. "I'm sorry, Bella," Emmett said, his voice strained. "I tried to get it all . . . it's so hard to stop . . . I don't want to drain him."

Pulling on his arm to urge him to move away, I gave him a nod and then, out of nowhere, Carlisle appeared to ask, "What happened?" Seeing the blood on Emmett, Carlisle instantly put himself between Emmett and Jacob.

Emmett quickly filled him in as Carlisle bent down to look at the bite on Jacob's neck then Emmett left us to referee the fight going on behind us.

"Is he still alive? Is he OK? Will he live?" I asked Carlisle in rapid fire.

With a glance my way, Carlisle replied, "He's lost a lot of blood . . . his pulse is very weak . . . I need to get him to my house, now." Carlisle stood to look for a moment at a defiant Rosalie, who stood tall cradling my baby in her arms then he turned to look over at Emmett, who jogged back to assure him Edward would be fine and Carlisle asked, "Do you think you can carry Jacob to my house?"

"Of course, I can," Emmett answered, immediately bending down to scoop Jacob up into his arms.

"Go, now. I'm right behind you," Carlisle told him, and then Emmett was gone in a blur, both wolves leaving Edward lying in the dirt to follow right behind Emmett.

The panic inside me escalated as I grabbed Carlisle's arm to babble, "Where did he go? I need to be with him . . . I can't leave him . . . how do I get . . . "

"Bella, it's alright. I will send Emmett right back for you, I promise. I only live a mile and a half down the road."

Nodding, I let go of his arm and watched as he, too, disappeared into the dark, leaving me alone with Edward, Rosalie and Carly. Wrapping my arms around myself, I tried hard to calm down. Being this upset wasn't good for my baby, I kept trying to tell myself. _Jacob is with Carlisle . . . he won't let him die . . . he can't die. _Finally, I took some deep breaths then turned my attention to Edward, who had crawled up out of the dirt to stand defiantly beside Rosalie.

"Edward, are you alright?" Rose asked him anxiously.

I took in the sight of Edward, who stood there bare-chested, covered in dirt, his shirt missing and his pants torn . . . his hair was matted down, and I could see a few bit marks, but I knew he wasn't really hurt. Not like he deserved to be. He was lucky to be left alive.

"I will be fine," Edward returned flatly. "Take Carly inside to bed. She's been through enough."

"No, wait!" I called to Rosalie.

Keeping my distance this time, I didn't want a repeat of what happened earlier, but I wanted to look at my daughter. Now that all the drama had ended, and Rose had cleaned her face, Carly again looked like the sweet little toddler I had expected. Her eyes were again a chocolate brown, and her hair hung in ringlets around her beautiful face and I wished that I could hold her and talk to her . . . but Rosalie was holding onto Carly very possessively, with a smug look on her face. _God, how I hate her right now_. Clearing my throat, I said to Carly, "I'm your mommy, Carly. Don't you remember me?"

I wasn't sure if she would answer, or if she _could_ answer. But I waited, and finally, I saw here little head give me a nod. Giving her a small smile through my tears, I said softly, "I love you and I have missed you very much. I'm so sorry you don't understand what is going on. I wish . . . "

"That's enough," Edward cut in. "Carly's tired and needs to go back to bed." Then turning to Carly, Edward put a kiss on her forehead before saying to Rosalie, "Take her upstairs. I'll be up in a minute."

With one more smug look thrown my way, Rosalie then turned and walked inside the cabin, taking my daughter away once again.

"Go home, Bella," I heard Edward say as I watched the door close behind my little girl. Then with a fierce glare, he added, "Go home and leave us alone. It's what's best for all of us."

Stepping over in front of him, I slapped him as hard as I could in the face as I hissed, "You arrogant son of a bitch. Do you have any idea how worried I have been for four months? How scared I was that the Volturi might find her and take her? Not knowing if her body might suddenly shut down from her rapid growth, and I might never see her again? How devastated I have been at every milestone I have missed? She's walking and talking and I've missed all of it! Because of you!" He just stood there defiantly, saying nothing as I railed, "And now this . . . how could you, Edward? After all we meant to each other . . . how could you do this?"

Edward leaned just a little closer to snarl, "All we meant to each other? What did we _mean _to each other? I was in love with you, Bella! I _loved _you! And you betrayed me by having sex with that dog! You got pregnant _two days_ before our wedding. THAT showed me what I meant to you, you . . . _whore._"

"Whore?" I was taken back by that. I had never heard Edward use words like that.

"Yes, whore. Isn't that what they call a bitch who has sex with someone other than the man she supposedly loves and wants to marry?" Edward shot back.

"You know it wasn't like that."

"I don't care what it was like! You did it . . . you betrayed me and I will never be able to get over that pain. Knowing that _he_ touched you before we went on our honeymoon and then I . . . I was such a failure at it. How you must have loved that, Bella. Running back to Jacob and sharing that story . . . I'll bet the two of you have had many laughs at my expense, haven't you?"

"My God, Edward, of course we haven't. What is wrong with you? You're twisting everything around . . . "

"Twisting? Rose has been right about you all along. You're selfish, Bella, and only believe what you want to believe. I'm just telling the truth. Something you obviously don't understand."

"So, that's what all this is about? You are punishing me for loving Jacob by keeping Carly away from me? Turning her against me? Is that it?"

"YES! I don't want her anywhere near you and your disgusting mutt of a lover. I don't want you to turn her against me and my family and what we are. What SHE is! She belongs with us, Bella, not with you."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Emmett was right . . . Edward had changed. I never in a million years would have imagined how hateful he could be. This was not the Edward that I had loved. I wasn't sure what to say . . . how to react. "Look, Edward, I would never try and turn Carly against you and your family. I told you before that she would need to be with you, learn things from you. I was OK with her living with you and just visiting her. Don't you remember that?"

"Like I can trust you? You lie, Bella. You lied about sleeping with Jacob. How can I trust you to tell me the truth about anything?"

"So you lied? What are we, five? Oh my God, Edward . . . this is so ridiculous! For you to use this to justify what you just did . . . what you've done to Carly and . . . to Jacob. You are sick, Edward."

Before Edward could say anything more, Emmett suddenly appeared out of nowhere to ask, "Are you ready to go?"

Staring at Edward in disgust, I said to Emmett, "More than ready." All of a sudden, I couldn't stand the sight of Edward and was a little disappointed that Embry and Quil had left him alive. Emmett bent down so I could climb onto his back and then we were moving so fast, I couldn't even make out the trees as they blurred by me. I had always hated this mode of travel, but right now, I would do whatever I had to do to get to Jacob. 

Once we stopped, I slid off of Emmett's back to the ground and found I was standing in front of an old white farmhouse. I followed Emmett up the porch steps to the front door, and walked into what could only be called a parlor. For a moment, I felt like I had walked back in time into the 1930's . . . the furniture, the wall paper . . . everything was redone to look old, yet it had a new feel to it.

Esme suddenly appeared to pull me into her arms for a hug. "Bella, I'm so sorry," she said before taking my hand to add, "Follow me."

I let her lead me up the beautiful wooden staircase to the second floor where we turned into a bedroom and I saw Jacob, lying on a bed with an IV in one arm and Carlisle leaning over him, stethoscope in his ears. Jacob was so still . . . and so white . . . .

Hurrying to the bedside, I asked, "Is he going to be OK?"

Taking the stethoscope from his ears, Carlisle looked at me to say, "Bella, I won't lie to you. It's touch and go right now. He's lost a lot of blood, and his blood pressure is very low. His breathing is shallow and his pulse is weak."

My hand covered my mouth to hold back the wail that was trying to escape as I felt Emmett behind me put his cold hand on my shoulder and say quietly, "I'm so sorry, Bella. I wanted to save him, but . . . it was so hard to stop."

Carlisle immediately went to Emmett to say, "You did fine, son. It was very noble of you to do what you did."

I turned to Emmett then and tearfully added, "Yes, it was. Thank you."

Dropping his head, Emmett still look disheartened. I knew he was afraid that he had taken too much of Jacob's blood and that . . . I couldn't think about that right now. I wanted to focus on Jacob living and getting better. Nothing else.

Then Carlisle asked me, "Do you know what blood type Jacob is?"

With a shake of my head, I managed to get out, "No. But Quil is his cousin, so . . . "

"I'm on it," I heard Emmett say before he disappeared from the room.

Esme gave a slight push on my shoulder to encourage me to sit in the straight chair that had been pulled over to the bed. I looked over at Jacob and then reached out to take his hand that was lying there in front of me. It was slightly cold . . . something I hadn't felt from Jacob in a very long time. The panic in me was threatening to erupt again as I squeezed his hand, willing him to come back to me.

It wasn't long before I heard heavy footsteps in the hall and looked over to see Quil come in with Emmett. I could see by his reaction, he was terrified. Carlisle turned to ask, "Quil, do you know Jacob's blood type?"

Nodding he answered, "O positive, same as mine."

"Excellent. Would you be willing to donate some for Jacob?"

Proudly, Quil huffed, "Of course. I would give my life for Jacob."

With a smile, Carlisle stepped over to pat Quil on the shoulder as he said, "Well, for now, all I need is a couple of pints of blood. Come with me, alright?"

Giving Carlisle a nod, Quil then stepped over to me first to ask, "Are you alright, Bella?" I couldn't speak over the huge lump in my throat, so I just nodded. Quil set his hand on my shoulder as he looked at Jacob and said, "Hang in there, brother." Then he turned and left the room with Carlisle.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett step up to the bedside and look down at Jacob. Swallowing hard, I managed to say, "He's going to be alright, Emmett."

Emmett squatted beside me and replied with a smile, "I hope so. I can't wait until he wakes up to find I saved his ass."

Leave it to Emmett to be able to make me smile when I felt like dying. Letting go of Jacob's hand, I turned to wrap my arms around Emmett's neck and rest my head on his shoulder. His arms were ice cold as they came around me, but I welcomed them and let him try to hold me together.


	41. Chapter 40

**CHAPTER 40**

**Bella POV:**

Thankfully, Quil donated two pints of his blood and Carlisle had come in to hook one of them up to Jacob, along with another bag of IV fluid as I sat there numbly watching Carlisle and Esme as they worked. It was all so surreal . . . I kept going over what happened in my mind, trying to make some sense of it, but I couldn't. The horrific scene unfolded over and over . . . _Carly, my baby, hissing and showing her fangs . . . watching Emmett as he sucked the venom from Jacob's neck . . . _it was all too much. Stupidly, I never thought that anything like this would happen. I just assumed that my little girl would know I was her mother, and that I loved her and missed her . . . _stupid, Bella. You were just too naive and stupid to underestimate Edward and Rosalie. _I vowed right then to never make that mistake again.

I worried that Edward might run off with Carly again, but I decided I couldn't think about that as I watched Jacob lying so still in front of me . . . he was my only priority right now. I did however find myself voicing my concern to Carlisle as he swapped the empty bag of blood for a new one, which still made me gag, remembering how I tried to drink it when I was pregnant for Carly.

Carlisle shared that he too was worried that Edward might disappear, so he immediately sent Emmett back over to the house to keep an eye on him. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I should have seen what was happening, but I . . . "

"Don't apologize, Carlisle. It's all my fault. I hurt him, badly and I guess I understand why he wanted to get back at me."

"Well, I don't!" Carlisle said angrily as he turned to me. "I have known Edward a very long time . . . I thought I knew him well. I know that he was hurt, as any one would have been in that situation, but to behave like this, well . . . it's unacceptable. What he and Rosalie have done to that innocent child . . . that is unforgivable."

I was surprised to see the anger in Carlisle! I was not used to seeing this side of him. Calming himself, he finally stepped over to kneel in front of me to say, "Bella, I want you to know that as soon as I feel Jacob is stable, I will go to Edward and speak to him. I also want to see Carly and make sure she is alright." Suddenly, at the mention of my daughter's name, I couldn't speak, so I just nodded as fresh tears pricked my eyes. "I will see that she understands what she did was wrong, and that it cannot happen again."

Again, I just nodded then I finally squeaked out, "Thank you."

With a soft smile, Carlisle patted my knee then stood to take Jacob's pulse. It amazed me how kind he could still be to me after what I put his family through. It disgusted me to think of how selfish I had been in the past . . . and how selfish Edward was being now. _What was wrong with us?_

As the night drug on, exhaustion took over and I had a hard time keeping my eyes open. Esme kept trying to get me to go across the hall and lie down, but I refused to leave Jacob. I kept my vigil, holding his hand, running my fingers through his short hair, putting light kisses on his forehead . . . hoping that somehow, he would know I was here with him. I would whisper in his ear, "Fight, Jacob. Come back to me and our baby. We need you."

I couldn't imagine what I would do without him. Again I cursed at myself for taking so long to realize it was really Jacob that I loved. All that time, wasted . . . and now, here I was pregnant with his child and we were so happy together . . . he had to come back to me. _He had to._

My body could only stand so much, and somewhere in the night, I must have lost my battle against sleep because next thing I know, I was leaning forward, my head resting on Jacob's chest, and it was moving . . . and I could hear . . . _chuckling_? My eyes flew open as I sat up to hear Jacob say weakly, "I feel wet . . . I think you were drooling."

"Oh my God, Jacob!" My heart soared as I took in his weak smile and I immediately turned to hug him, and let my tears flow freely over his bare shoulder.

"Even wetter now."

Sitting up, I wiped his shoulder then my eyes as I laughed. "I'm sorry . . . I'm just so happy you're awake. How do you feel?"

"Like shit."

I again laughed softly at his answer as I ran my hand through his hair. "I'm sorry about that."

I could see the anger jump into Jacob's eyes as he croaked out, "Don't apologize. Not your fault." Then before I could say anything else, he asked, "You . . . and the baby, OK?"

"Yes, we're both fine, thanks to you." Looking around, I didn't see Carlisle, so I said quickly, "Hold on . . . I'll be right back," as I moved to the door to call out, "Carlisle! Jacob's awake!"

Before I could sit down again, Carlisle walked in to say with a smile, "Hello, Jacob. Welcome back." Carlisle immediately went into doctor mode, listening to Jacob's heart, taking his blood pressure, checking the IV, all as he asked Jacob several questions about how he was feeling. Finally, he asked Jacob to turn his head so he could look at the bite wound and I gasped as I saw two tiny bite marks, surrounded by a very large bite print from Emmett. It was still very red and somewhat swollen and Jacob flinched a little when Carlisle touched it.

"Do you remember what happened?" Carlisle asked Jacob when he was finished with his examination.

Closing his eyes, Jacob answered softly, "I remember _what_ happened," then opening them, he added, "I just don't know _why_."

"Honestly, I don't either, "Carlisle admitted just as Emmett came bounding into the room. I quickly glanced at Carlisle, wondering who was watching Edward if Emmett was here. Seeing my worry, he said softly, "Jasper." I nodded my thanks and then turned back in time to hear Emmett call out, "Hey, look who's awake!" before asking me, "Did you tell him yet?"

With a smile, I shook my head then looked over at Jacob as he asked curiously, "Tell me what?"

"I'm the one that saved you, bro. And you taste rank, by the way," Emmett told him with one of the biggest grins I had ever seen. I could tell he was enjoying this way too much.

Jacob's eyes narrowed for a second or two until it finally sunk in. "_You_ sucked out the venom?"

"Yep. You owe me big time, buddy."

"Fuck," Jacob muttered under his breath as his eyes drifted shut.

That made Emmett laugh and I smacked his arm as he guffawed. "What? I love that this mutt owes me. I have a list, you know, of all the ways you can pay me back. I'll show it to you later."

I watched as Jacob rolled his eyes at Emmett then I said, "Alright, you've had your fun. Go out and tell Embry and Quil that Jacob's awake. I'm sure they will want to see him."

"Fine," Emmett said, still smiling. "Take it easy, bro. Good to have you back," he added with a pat on Jacob's shoulder before he left the room.

I glanced over at Carlisle who smiled then I turned to Jacob to say, "Sorry about that. He really is a great guy, and we owe him a lot."

"I know," Jacob admitted weakly. I could see he was still so tired, but at least he had a little more color in his face, and that made me feel a lot better. As I sunk down onto the chair, Jacob asked me, "When did you eat last?"

"I'm fine, Jake."

"But the baby . . . you need to eat." Even in his weakness, Jacob was still worried about me. I hated that.

"Jacob, stop it. I'll get something in a . . . "

"Bella," Carlisle interrupted by putting his hand on my shoulder, then he said, "Jacob's right. You need to take care of yourself for your baby. Go on downstairs and get some breakfast. You know how Esme likes to cook for you. It will make her happy. Go."

With a deep sigh, I finally gave in and told them, "Well, I can't fight both of you." Standing, I added, "I'll go, but, I will be back as soon as I'm done."

"You better be," Jacob ordered with a weak smile.

Leaning over him, I put a light kiss on his lips and whispered, "I love you, Jacob Black."

"Good. Back at cha."

With a smile, I added one more kiss then forced myself to leave the room.

****

**Jacob POV:**

"So, now that she's gone, tell me . . . am I going to be OK?" I was in such a fog, and suddenly exhausted by trying to be strong in front of Bella. I felt so fucking weak and I hated it. I could barely move my hand.

Sitting in the chair that Bella had just vacated, Carlisle then answered, "I think you'll be fine. Carly is very small and only half vampire, and I am amazed that she had enough venom to take down a powerful werewolf such as yourself. It just proves to me how much I don't understand about her. The weakness you're experiencing is mostly from the amount of blood you lost when Emmett removed the venom from you. I am sure you will regain your strength soon."

Letting my eyes drift shut, I relived that memory for just a moment . . . f_eeling Bella run her hand along my side as she walked by, whispering, "Thank you," as she approached Carly. My whole body tingled with warning as I saw the look in Carly's eyes . . . I could tell something wasn't right. When Bella held her hands out, I saw it and I just reacted in the only way I knew how . . . I threw myself between Bella and Carly and took the bite. The pain was excruciating as it burned from my neck through my whole body . . . then, nothing. Thankfully, I blacked out, only to wake up here, in some house, with Bella drooling on my chest._

Opening my eyes again, I took in the room around me and wondered why it looked like I woke up in a scene from the old TV show, _The Waltons_. The wallpaper was old fashioned looking and the wood floor was bare except for a couple of rugs, and the only furniture in the room was the bed, a dresser and the straight chair that Carlisle was now sitting in. Finally, I looked at Carlisle and asked, "Where am I?"

"My home, well, mine and Esme's," Carlisle answered. "She's always wanted a farmhouse to renovate and this one caught her eye so, I bought it and she has enjoyed bringing it back to it's former glory. It's just a mile and a half down the road from Edward's cabin."

"Oh." That explained where I was, but now I needed to know why this happened, so I asked, "Why did Carly attack? Bella told me she spent time with her as a baby . . . held her and took care of her. She didn't attack her then."

With a shake of his head, Carlisle answered, "No, she didn't. Could be her very young age, and her instinct to be close to her mother that kept it from happening, I suppose."

It was getting harder and harder to fight sleep, but I needed to know . . . I asked as I kept forcing my eyelids open, "Did Edward . . . did he . . ." _Damnit! Stay awake!_

"I don't know for sure. It frightens me to think that he may have programmed her in some way to do what she did. I promise you, Jacob, I _will _find out. "

Finally, I couldn't fight it anymore, and I let the blackness surround me again. 

Later, I smelled wolf in the room, other than me, and heard their voices as they talked softly. Forcing my eyes open, I said, "Hey, guys."

"Bout time, bro," Embry returned as he approached the bed. He was grinning now, but I could see the worry that still showed in his eyes. "Welcome back. You look like shit, by the way. Must be Quil's blood muddying up your good looks."

"Quil's blood?" I asked as I turned to Quil.

"Um, yeah. Doc said you needed some blood and since we're the same type, I just, you know," Quil rambled on embarrassingly until I said, "Thanks, man. I'd do the same, you know."

Quil just nodded as Embry jumped in to say, "And don't worry . . . I won't be the one to tell the rest of the pack you got your ass kicked by a baby!"

Quickly, Quil shoved Embry, telling him to "shut the fuck up."

"What?"

"You think that's funny? It's Bella's baby, for God's sake. Think before you open your fucking mouth," Quil scolded.

Quickly dropping his head, Embry muttered, "Oh yeah, sorry."

"It's OK, Embry, really," I told him weakly. _God, when would this go away? _I tried to sit up, and seeing me struggle, Quil intervened by putting his arm around my shoulder, and hauling me up then telling Embry to stuff another pillow behind me. "Thanks," I mumbled as he helped me settle back into the pillow.

"No problem, bro" Quil replied. Then with a deep breath, he said, "Um, you need to know that Leah is on the warpath. First, she's pretty pissed that we all took off without her, and then you end up taking a bite. She was all set to lead the pack here to kill every one of these leeches."

Before I could react, Embry added quickly, "Yeah, I talked her down as best I could, and told her that you were still Alpha, and I knew you wouldn't want that. Wasn't easy."

"Yeah, believe me, I _heard_ all of it. It wasn't pretty either," Quil added.

Managing to run my hand over my face, I sighed before replying, "Well, it's what I would expect. Leah is a passionate girl . . . it's one thing I admire about her."

"Yeah, me, too," Embry added with his own signature grin, earning another shove from Quil.

Then Quil told me, "And uh, you also need to know that we . . . um, me and Embry, we went after Edward . . . right after, you know, when Emmett was sucking the venom out. The adrenaline was pumping, and well, we just reacted."

"But I take it you left him alive?" Personally, I'd love to see the mother fucker dead, but I knew Bella wouldn't. And now, I owed Carlisle again for my life . . .

"Oh yeah," Quil answered quickly. "Believe me, it wasn't easy to stop . . . "

"I know, I get that, but I'm glad you did. Killing him would have caused too many problems."

"Yeah," Quil agreed.

"Hey, guys," Bella called out as she walked into the room. "Esme has more food downstairs and I am ordering you to go and eat. The french toast is fantastic, by the way."

Both of them immediately looked to me and I gave them a small smile before saying, "Go. I'm fine. And tell Leah . . . well, I'll tell her myself as soon as I can get my ass out of this bed to phase."

"Yeah, uh, that's going to be awhile," Bella said sternly before turning to Embry to say, "Tell her to get to a phone and Jake will _call_ her." Bella then took out her cell phone and laid it on the bed beside me.

With a gin, Embry saluted, "Yes, Ma'am."

"Good. Now go eat."

Embry and Quil left the room and as Bella began to sit on the chair beside the bed, I told her, "No. Here with me." I patted the bed beside me, and was happy to see Bella smile and then crawl onto the bed to lay beside me, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Better," I sighed.

"Mmm, yes it is."

"You OK?"

"Yes, Jake, I told you I'm fine . . . "

"I know what you said," I interrupted, "and physically, I can see you're fine. I mean, about what happened."

I took in her deep sigh as Bella replied, "No, of course I'm not. I still have no idea why Carly would do something like that." Then she sat up to say, "But I'm sure Edward and Rose had something to do with it." I could see tears form in her eyes as she added, "He hates me, Jake. For being with you, and getting pregnant, and choosing you over him . . . and he's punishing me for it. He even called me a whore . . . something I never thought I would hear from him."

Closing my eyes, I sighed, "Fucking bastard." I guess I could understand him wanting to get back at Bella, but to use his only child like that? How twisted is this guy? "I'm sorry, Bells."

With a small smile, she uttered, "Me, too." Then, picking up the phone, Bella said, "Here. You better call Leah before she shows up with the whole pack. You still look pretty tired, so get it over with while you can." I took the phone then Bella added, "Esme was fixing a tray with breakfast for you. I'll go and get it while you make your call, OK?"

"Sure, sure. Thanks."

Bella looked into my eyes for a moment before leaning down to put a solid kiss on my lips. "I love you, Jake. I'm so glad you're alright. I was so terrified of losing you."

"Please . . . you can't get rid of me that easily, you should know that. You tried to push me away how many times? And I always came back."

Letting out a gentle laugh, Bella said, "Yeah, I guess, so . . . I'm stuck with you, huh?"

With what little strength I had, I reached out to put my hand on her neck and pull her close to me to say, "You are stuck with me . . . forever." Then I kissed her very thoroughly before letting her go.

"I'll be back," Bella whispered as she crawled off of the bed then I watched her leave the room before I picked up the phone to dial Leah's house. This was a call I wasn't looking forward to, but I knew I owed it to her.

Leah answered her phone on the first ring, saying, "Hello? Jake?"

I smiled as I heard the anxiety in her voice. I had to admit it was kind of cool to have so many people care about me. "Yeah, it's me."

"Thank God, thank God . . . oh my God . . . " Leah chanted until finally she took a deep breath and asked, "Are you OK?"

"Yes, Leah. Doc says I'll be just fine," I assured her.

"OK, OK, good," Leah sighed and was quiet for a moment then her voice rang loud and clear through the phone as she shouted, "Are you fucking crazy, Jacob Black? What the hell were you thinking jumping in to take a bite like that?"

"Do you really expect me to answer that?"

"No, I know what you were thinking . . . you lovestruck dipshit. You would do anything to protect Bella, even if it means taking a bite from her bloodsucking kid."

"Yes, I would. And for the record, I would do it for you, or Embry or Quil . . . "

"Yeah, yeah, I know that. I guess you were just born to be the noble hero, but damnit, Jake! I don't ever want to get a call like that again, OK?"

With a chuckle, I told her, "OK, fine. Next time, we just won't tell you."

"Ha, ha, very funny, douche bag. And what's up with you three just taking off and not telling me?"

"Leah, I didn't think . . . I just ran. When I called Bella and found out where she was going, I just took off, and Embry and Quil joined in without asking. You know how they are."

After another long sigh, I heard her say, "Yeah, OK, whatever. So, Embry told me that he and Quil messed Edward up?"

"I guess, but only as much as they could without starting an all out war."

"Man, I want to sink my teeth into him . . . war be damned. Look, I need to be there with you . . . Sam can handle things here . . . "

"No, Leah. Stay there. You are my beta . . . it's up to you to take care of things until I get home."

"Jake, I can't stand the thought of you and Embry and Quil in danger and I'm not there to help."

I had to smile at that. That's my Leah . . . thank God I had her as my best friend. She was loyal and fierce when it came to those she loved. "I know . . . I get that. But we're fine, honestly. We are at Carlisle's house and he's taking good care of me. Look, I gotta go. Bella just walked in with some food for me and I'm starving."

"Wait, when are you coming home?"

"As soon as I can get my ass out of this bed."

"Good. I, uh . . . well," Leah stammered then said in a rush, "I'm glad you're OK come home soon I love you bye."

Smiling, I closed the phone and held it out to Bella as she set the tray of food across my lap. Taking it, she asked, "Leah OK?"

"Yes," I smiled. "I think she kind of misses me."

With a roll of the eyes, Bella said, "Great, like your head needs to get any bigger."

I laughed at that then looked to see what she brought me to eat. "Hey, where's the french toast that you were raving about?" I whined.

"Carlisle wants you to ease into eating, so you get just scrambled eggs and toast," Bella explained as she sat down beside me on the bed. Smiling, she added, "But, if you are a good boy, and eat all your eggs, I promise I will make you french toast on the first morning we wake up together in our new place."

_Our new place . . . I could hardly wait!_ "Yes, ma'am," I said with a smile as I picked up my fork to stab some eggs. I hoped to hell that eating something would help me get some strength back. I was more than ready to get the hell out of here and go home.


	42. Chapter 41

**CHAPTER 41**

**Bella POV:**

Later, I finally allowed Jacob to persuade me to lay down in the bedroom next door and sleep some. I was still exhausted from the long night, and frankly, I was sick of thinking about what happened . . . trying to sort it out and understand it. I was hurt, confused and angry as hell and decided maybe it wouldn't be so bad to escape into sleep for awhile. As I lay down on the wrought iron bed and pulled the colorful quilt over me, I closed my eyes and wished that when I woke up, that this had all somehow been just a dream. A very bad dream.

I wanted more than anything to go back to Edward's to see Carly, but neither Carlisle nor Jacob would allow it. Both of them were afraid that Carly might attack again, and I had to admit, I was a little afraid of that myself. So, after finally deciding that being pregnant made the risk too great, I napped instead.

I woke up three hours later to stretch out my aching limbs, wishing I could shower and change clothes. I really hadn't expected to stay here when I left my house with Emmett, so of course I hadn't taken the time to pack a bag. I expected to . . . well, I guess I really didn't know what to expect, but I know it wasn't this.

Pushing myself off of the bed, I made my way to the bathroom down the hall to relieve myself, then I looked into the mirror and grimaced, wishing I had a hairbrush and toothbrush. But, having neither, I combed my hair as best I could with my fingers and rinsed my mouth with some mouthwash I found in the medicine cabinet (_vampires use mouthwash? Who knew?_), then opened the door to make my way across the hall to Jacob's room.

I found him sitting on the side of the bed as Carlisle removed the IV line from his arm. "Hey, sleepyhead," Jacob greeted me as I walked in. "Feel better?"

"Mmm, some. How about you?"

"Doc here says I can get up and move around, but to take it slow," Jacob explained then added, "I need to pee, so first trip is to the bathroom."

Once Carlisle had everything removed, he said to Jacob, "I think you should have someone walk you to the bathroom. I'm not sure you're quite ready to fly solo just yet."

"Did I hear that someone needs a potty buddy?" Emmett asked with a grin as he popped into the bedroom.

I couldn't help it . . . I snickered and earned a disapproving look from Jacob. Emmett on the other hand, laughed out loud then stepped up beside Jacob to say, "Come on, big boy. Stand up."

"I can do this on my own," Jacob grumbled. "I am not a child."

"No, you're not a child. You're an overgrown wolf boy who is going to piss his pants because he's too stubborn to accept help," Emmett shot back.

Finally, exhaling a deep breath, Jacob stood on his own then took his first step forward only to buckle and be caught by Emmett's strong arms. Emmett stood him up again then held folded his arms over his chest to give Jake a smug look. With a huge roll of his eyes, Jacob sighed, "Fine, let's go."

I bit my lip to hide my smile as Jacob gingerly took a few steps, Emmett right by his side. "See? I can do this," Jacob huffed.

"Yes, I can see that. Now, you think you can pick up the pace a little? Bella is growing gray hair just waiting for you to take a pee," Emmett said with a wink at me.

"God, I can't wait to get home," I heard Jacob mutter as Emmett just smiled. It was fun watching the two of them. Of course, Emmett was having a little too much fun at Jacob's expense, but I was sure that somewhere down the line, Jacob would get back at him for it.

They finally left the room, and as I heard the bathroom door close across the hall, Carlisle approached me to say, "Bella? I want you to know that I went to see Carly while you slept."

"How is she? Is she alright?" I asked anxiously.

Slowly, Carlisle answered, "She's somewhat traumatized from last night's events. She wouldn't smile or talk to me, and Edward told me that after she drank from her cup this morning, she cried out and then vomited the blood. Later, they tried again and she refused it."

"So she still takes blood everyday. Emmett told me that she does eat some human food now, mostly fruit?"

With a small smile, Carlisle answered, "Yes, she loves fruit along with cereals, some vegetables and animal crackers. I examined her and found her in good health, so I'm not sure if her refusal is physical or an emotional reaction to what happened last night."

With a sigh, I told him, "God, she must be so confused right now."

"She is, very confused. Please sit down," Carlisle invited me to sit on the chair while he sunk down onto the bed. "I made Edward and Rose stay away while I examined Carly as I didn't want them to influence her answers in any way, and what she shared with me was . . . well, let's just say, I am going to take action with both of them for what they've done."

"What have they have done?" I asked warily. Maybe I didn't want to know.

Carlisle was quiet for a moment, and I could see he was trying to choose his words carefully. He was kind of freaking me out. "Bella, I know that Edward was very hurt by . . . "

"My betrayal, as he called it. Yes, I know, and I hate that it happened the way it did. I was so stupid . . . "

"Bella, please," Carlisle stopped me by placing his hand on my knee. "I understand that you didn't hurt him intentionally. I know that you loved Edward, but . . . after watching you all night with Jacob, as much as it pains me to say it, I can see you made the right choice. You belong with him."

Wow. I was shocked to hear that from Carlisle and yet, I was so happy to know that he approved for some reason. Tears sprang to my eyes as I said softly, "Thank you, Carlisle. That means a lot to me."

Carlisle patted my knee then removed his hand as he went on to say, "That being said, I understand that Edward was hurt, but out of your brief marriage came a beautiful little girl, and he took solace in her, which I thought was good for him. But I should have been watching more carefully. When Emmett came to me to tell me his concerns about Edward and Rosalie, well . . . I, too, suspected something wasn't right, but I really should have taken action sooner."

"What are you talking about? What did they do?" Jacob asked as soon as he and Emmett walked back into the room.

Carlisle immediately stood up to allow Jacob to sit on the bed. Emmett stood behind my chair and I felt his hand touch my shoulder in his way to let me know he was there as Carlisle answered Jacob's question. "Edward and Rose have been filling Carly's head with lies about Bella. Teaching her that because she is human she is dangerous to Carly."

"So that's why she attacked her?" Jacob asked.

"I believe so. With what Carly showed me, it seems that she's been very conflicted from what Edward and Rose have been telling her and then what Emmett has told her about Bella. Emmett has been telling her how much Bella loves her and misses her, then Carly showed me a memory of Rose telling her that her mother doesn't want her because she's different and that's why she doesn't visit her. Even though Carly is very intelligent for her young age, this is just too much for her to decipher."

Carlisle hesitated for a moment, looking at Emmett before he went on to say, "And that's not the worst of it. Carly showed me another memory of Rose . . . . telling her that humans like Bella are dangerous . . . that they are only good for . . . for food, like the deer they hunt in the forest."

"What?" I cried, thinking I hadn't heard correctly.

"Are you fucking serious?" Jacob added.

"I'm afraid so," Carlisle said sadly. "I asked Edward about this and he didn't deny that he had told Carly that Bella was different by being human and he allowed her to think that Bella didn't want to live with them because of this. But when I told him what I saw Rosalie saying to Carly, he seemed . . . uncomfortable with it, but yet he did nothing to stop it."

"No . . . no, she wouldn't do that," I heard from behind me and I turned to see the look of disgust on Emmett's face as he said, "I know they are both are obsessed with Carly and it's made them a little crazy, but Rose loves her. She wouldn't do that if Edward hadn't told her to."

"I don't know whose idea it was, Emmett," Carlisle answered. "I just know it was wrong, and I am thoroughly disgusted with both of them."

With a shake of his head, Emmett growled, "Son of a bitch! I'll kill him myself." And with that, he whipped around and blurred from the room.

"Emmett! Wait!" Carlisle called as he ran after him.

I felt Jacob take my hand as I just sat there in shock. I could hear Emmett and Carlisle shouting at each other downstairs, and yet I felt so numb . . . like this was all a nightmare, and I was just waiting to wake up. "Bella? Honey, are you alright?" I heard Jacob ask me from somewhere far away. Then I felt his hand on my cheek as he asked again, "Bella, are you OK? Look at me."

Finally, I shook myself out of the fog to look at Jacob. "How? How could he do this to her? To confuse her like that . . . to make her think . . . " I couldn't go on. Suddenly, the fog was disappearing to be replaced with red hot anger. _That cold son of a bitch! To do this to his only daughter, just to punish me! _I shot out of my chair and headed for the door as Jacob called, "Bella! Where are you going?"

I stopped long enough to tell him coldly, "To help Emmett kill that son of a bitch." And then I stalked from the room, determined to do just that, ignoring the demands Jacob called after me to stop and come back. I had had enough. It was time to stop this, right here, right now.

Emmett and Carlisle were gone by the time I got downstairs and Esme met me at the front door to plead, "Bella, please . . . let Carlisle handle this."

"No, Esme. This is between Edward and me, and I mean to put a stop to it right now."

That's when Jacob caught up with me, his face pale from his run down the stairs, and sweat beading on his forehead. "Go back to bed, Jacob," I demanded angrily.

"Like hell I will," he returned just as angrily. "If you're going, I'm going with you. There is no way I am going to let you walk in there without protection."

"Look at you! How are you going to protect me? You're still recovering from the last time you protected me," I pointed out. "I need to do this, Jacob. I can't just stand by and let him do this to my baby! Don't you get that? I've let this go on for way too long. It's time to end this, now."

"Well, if you're determined to go, at least take my car," I heard from behind me and I turned in surprise to see Esme, standing there holding out her keys. "Turn left at the end of the drive and go about a mile and half to the next drive."

Taking them, I said softly, "Thank you."

With a sad smile, Esme replied, "I know a mother's determination when I see it. Be strong, Bella, but please . . . don't kill him," she added with a look to Jacob. "I know what he's done is wrong, but . . . he's still my son."

I nodded then gave her a brief hug before slipping into my coat and then opening the door. Jacob followed and gave a whistle to call Embry and Quil, who came trotting out of the woods within seconds. Jacob barked out, "We're going back to Edward's. I'll ride with Bella . . . meet us there. We may need back up."

Both of them nodded their huge wolf heads and then they turned to run back into the trees. "Alright, let's go," Jacob said as he crawled into the passenger seat.

I made the quick drive down the road to Edward's and parked the huge SUV near the cabin then looked over at Jacob. He had leaned his head back against the head rest and closed his eyes while I drove . . . he still looked so weak. I wasn't used to seeing him this way. "Jacob," I started only to be stopped by him saying, "Don't start, Bella. I will not stay behind and let you walk in there alone."

"Fine," I sighed as I unbuckled my seat belt to open the door, knowing that would be his exact answer. Jacob joined me and took my hand as I stalked to the front door of the cabin. Not bothering to knock, I opened the door and walked inside to hear shouting coming from another part of the house.

Jacob and I exchanged looks then moved toward the voices to end up outside the kitchen, where we found Carlisle yelling at Emmett and Edward to calm down. The two of them were staring at each other with looks meant to kill, as Jasper held Emmett's arms. Edward's shirt was torn, and I imagined that Carlisle and Jasper had arrived just in time to stop Emmett from killing Edward.

Emmett was shouting, "Come on, Carlisle! You know this son of a bitch deserves to die for what he did to Carly!"

"Carly is MY daughter, Emmett!" Edward shouted back. "Not yours, no matter how much you wish she were. I know about the sick little crush you have on Bella . . . about the scrapbooks and how you broke Rosalie's heart."

"Oh give it a fucking rest, Edward," Emmett shot back as he finally managed to jerk away from Jasper's hold on him. "I love Bella like a sister, you know that. And what happened between me and Rose was her fault, not mine. I will NOT go out and get some poor girl pregnant so Rose can play house with a human baby. That's fucking sick and you know it. Not to mention how she helped you brainwash Carly. How could you tell that beautiful little girl that humans like her mother are just for food? Huh? What kind of sick, twisted mother fucker are you?" Emmett demanded as he shoved Edward.

I walked into the kitchen just in time to catch the disturbingly cold look on Edward's face as he answered, "I wasn't in favor of that, but . . . Rose was right. It worked to our advantage. Unfortunately, she missed her true target."

By now, my anger was boiling and just looking at Edward made me want to kill him. "I will make you pay for what you've done to our daughter!" I screamed as I launched myself at Edward, only to be caught around the waist from behind by Jacob. "Let me go, Jacob!" I yelled as I struggled against his suddenly strong arms. "I mean it, damnit, let me go!"

"Alright everyone, let's just calm down," Carlisle ordered along with a glace to Jasper, who I knew would be sending out his freaky vampire vibes to diffuse the situation, so I finally stopped struggling against Jacob to hiss, "Let me go, I'm OK."

After a few seconds, Jacob let up his hold and I reached up to smooth my hair back then as soon as I felt Jacob step back, I again rushed at Edward, only this time I reached out to punch him in the jaw and connected with some satisfaction, even as my hand throbbed in pain. "I hate you for what you've done to Carly!" I screamed at him. "I have spent all this time feeling so guilty about what I did to you. I have hated myself and told myself that she was better off with you. And now to find out . . . what you've done . . . how could you? She's just an innocent baby. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Edward just stood there, staring at the floor as I continued my tirade, beating him with my fists until I couldn't take it anymore. Moving in closer, I panted as I stepped up to get in his face and demand, "Look at me, Edward." After a few seconds, his head came up and I stared into his cold, black eyes as I spit into his face. "You are sick, Edward. And I will see that you NEVER see Carly again. Do you hear me?"

As I watched my saliva slide slowly down his cheek, my blood turned cold as I heard Edward say menacingly, "Over my dead body."

"That can be arranged," Emmett growled as suddenly he plowed his fist into Edward's face and Edward hit the floor with a thud as Jasper caught Emmett and held him tight.

Finally, I took a step back and let Jacob put his arms around my now shaking body as Carlisle roared, "Enough! This won't solve anything!" Calming himself, Carlisle suggested sternly, "Bella, why don't you go out to the living room and rest while I talk to Edward. I will come in to talk to you shortly." I could feel Jasper's vibes kicking in as I nodded numbly and allowed Jacob to lead me out to the large living room and settle me onto the couch, where he commanded softly, "Let me see your hand." Holding my right hand out to Jacob, he took it and felt it gingerly to see if any bones were broken. I winced a little as he squeezed here and there then he said, "I don't think it's broken, but you'll need some ice. It's starting to swell."

With a small smile, I told him, "You think I would have learned when I punched a werewolf, huh?"

Jacob actually returned my smile as he retorted, "Yeah, like that would happen. You, learning something."

"Ha, ha, Jacob."

Taking my hand to his mouth, he kissed it gently then placed it on his knee as Emmett walked into the room with a bag of ice wrapped in a towel. "Here. Carlisle thought you might need this."

Jacob took it from him and placed it onto my hand as I sighed, "Thanks."

"Emmett, stop! Please talk to me!" I turned my head slightly to see Rosalie run into the room. When she saw Emmett hand Jacob the ice, she spit out, "I should have known you were running to _her_."

Emmett spun around to return angrily, "Shut up, Rose! Just shut the hell up! Bella has nothing to do with me not being able to stand the sight of you."

Turning her glare from me, she quickly moved to grab Emmett's arm as she pleaded, "Please, Emmett. I love you. Don't throw away everything we have because of this. Just let me explain."

"Explain? How can you explain what you've done to that innocent child that will make me understand? You're sick, Rose. This whole thing has warped you into someone that I don't want to be around." Emmett stopped to step back away from Rose as he said, "Now, if you care about me at all, please just leave me the hell alone."

I watched Rosalie as she backed away from Emmett . . . she had such a tortured look on her face. I knew she was full of tears that she couldn't shed, and I would have felt sorry for her if I didn't hate her so much for what she did to me and my child. Finally she turned to me and hissed, "I hope you're happy. You've managed to take everything from me that I cared about . . . my husband, my family and now Carly. I hate you Bella Swan . . . I HATE YOU!"

"That's enough, Rose!" Emmett interjected just as Carlisle walked into the room to take Rose by the arm and pull her back to the kitchen.

Emmett then threw himself into the overstuffed chair and leaned his head back to mutter, "Fuck this."

We all just sat there quietly, trying to calm our anger. This was such a weird situation, one we never thought to face. How could we possibly know how to deal with it? After awhile, I looked over to Emmett, slumped down in his chair and asked, "Emmett? Are you OK?"

With a shake of his head, Emmett replied sadly, "How can I be? Everything I thought I knew about her . . . everything I loved . . . it's gone. It's all gone."

My heart broke for him as I watched him suffer. I felt the same about Edward in a way, but my anger was too fierce at this moment to feel sad about it. Before I could say anything else to try and comfort him, Carlisle walked in to say, "I had Jasper take Edward and Rose out for awhile so we can talk this over. Alice is upstairs with Carly, but Esme is on her way to relieve her so she can help Jasper."

We all just sat there with no comment. What could we say? I think the shock of what had happened was just too much. Carlisle moved to sit down in the wooden rocking chair beside Jacob and then he said to me, "Bella, let me see your hand." I held it out and allowed Carlisle to look it over then smiled as he commented, "Still haven't learned your lesson, I see."

"Yes, Jacob already reminded me of that," I replied with a small smile at Jacob who shook his head at me.

"Well, it doesn't seem to be broken. Keep the ice on it for the pain and swelling and it should be fine." Then Carlisle surprised me by asking, "What about the baby? Any cramping or pain?"

_Oh my God . . . the baby. I gave no thought what so ever when I hurled myself at Edward. How could I do that? _ "Um, no, I feel alright." Then looking at Jacob, I said quickly, "I'm sorry, Jake. I should have thought . . . "

Jacob stopped me with, "I know, I get it. Maybe you should have Carlisle take a look?"

"I don't need to unless she feels pain or you notice any spotting. You should be fine. I guess I was just being overly cautious."

"Thanks," I mumbled as I set the ice bag back onto my throbbing knuckles.

We all sat there quietly for a moment until Carlisle spoke up, "I hate what has happened to this family and I am appalled at Edward and Rose's behavior. I must apologize to you, Bella, and to you, Emmett. I am deeply sorry that I did not see this happening soon enough to put a stop to it."

"Don't, Carlisle," Emmett growled. "Don't you dare take responsibility for the two of them. I know that you love them like your own children, but THEY did this and THEY should be the ones to pay for what they did."

"And just how do you expect them to pay for it, Emmett?" Carlisle asked. "I will not allow you to kill Edward. You are angry, and I understand that. I'm angry, too, but that is not the answer."

"Well, I certainly don't think they should be allowed anywhere near that poor child, do you?" Emmett shot back. "Hasn't she suffered enough?"

With a shake of his head, Carlisle sighed, "I don't know. I am worried about Carly. She is so close to Edward . . . it will hurt her immensely to remove him from her life."

"Sometimes what's good for you hurts, Carlisle. She'll get over it."

"But will you?" Carlisle asked Emmett.

"Me?" he snorted. "I'm a big boy. I'll be alright."

Leaning forward to prop his elbows on his knees, Carlisle said slowly, "I think that it would be good for Edward to go away for awhile. Maybe to Denali, I don't know. Just somewhere he can think this through and realize what he's done to Carly. Esme and I can keep her with us until we know just how this is going to affect her."

That's when Emmett surprised us all by saying quietly, "You should send Rose away, too." Looking over at him, I could see the pain in his eyes and it cut right through me. I had become so fond of him in such a short time, and I hated to see him in such pain.

"Are you sure?" Carlisle asked.

With a nod, Emmett answered, "Yes. She is just as guilty as Edward . . . maybe more so, knowing how from day one, her only goal was for Bella to have that baby so she could raise it. I knew it from the beginning, but I kept hoping . . . " He stopped for a moment before adding, "When she drugged Bella to steal her baby, I knew then. It was too late."

My heart broke for him right there, and I reached out my good hand to lay it on his arm. "I'm so sorry, Emmett."

Looking at me, Emmett replied, "Not your fault, Bella. Rose has always regretted not being able to have children. She saw her chance and took it. Enough said."

Carlisle then spoke up to say, "I will speak to Rose."

Emmett nodded then stood to announce, "I need some air."

Quickly, I stood to say, "Thank you, Emmett. For standing by me . . . for what you tried to do for Carly. You're a good man and . . . I love you for it, big brother."

With a smile, Emmett leaned down slightly to drop a kiss on my forehead. "I love you, too, sis. I'll see you later, OK?"

I just nodded then stepped back so Emmett could walk to the door and slip out just as Esme was walking in. I watched her immediately take the stairs to go to Carly and then I turned back to Carlisle and asked, "Is there any way I can see my daughter?"

"I don't know, Bella. Let me see her first and find out how she's feeling today then I'll let you know."

"OK."

I watched Carlisle take the stairs then I sunk back down onto the couch beside Jacob and laid my head over onto his shoulder. Suddenly I was very tired and more than anything, I wanted to go home. But not until I saw my baby. That's what I came here to do, and by God, I was going to do it no matter what.

After awhile, I heard Jacob say, "Bella, this is all so . . . fucked up. What are you thinking? What do you want to do about Carly?"

"Well, obviously I want her with me, but I don't think that will be an option now," I answered as I sat up to look at him. "But I want to see her, Jacob. I at least want to see her and let her know that I don't want to hurt her in any way. She has to know that I love her."

It wasn't long until Carlisle reappeared on the stairs to say, "Bella? You can come with me."

Jacob and I both stood then Carlisle added, "I'm sorry, Jacob, but I believe it would be better if you stayed here. I think it would upset Carly to see you right now."

Seeing the worried look on Jacob's face, I told him, "I'll be fine, I promise."

"I will make sure that she is protected, Jacob. I wouldn't allow her to see Carly if I didn't feel it was safe," Carlisle added.

Finally, Jacob gave in by saying, "Alright. But be careful, please?"

With a smile, I promised, "I will." Then I handed Jacob my bag of ice and kissed him on the lips. "I'll be back."

I followed Carlisle up the stairs and down the hall to a small room that held a crib, a dresser and a rocking chair, where I found Esme, rocking Carly. It was a far cry from the elaborate nursery she had at the house in Forks. As I entered, Esme stood up and I heard her say to Carly, "Here is your mama, Carly. Can you say hello?"

Carlisle stopped me from reaching out to her and whispered, "Not yet."

With a nod to him, I turned to smile at Carly and say, "Hi, Carly."

I could see she was still very wary of me, but she finally said hesitantly, "Mama?"

Tears welled in my eyes at hearing my baby finally call me 'mama.' I nodded and replied, "Yes, honey, I'm your mama. I missed you."

Very tentatively, I watched Carly raise her little hand and hold it out to me. Looking at Carlisle, I waited to see if it was alright. He explained, "I think she wants to show you something."

I stepped closer and let Carly lay her small hand on my cheek and suddenly my mind was flooded with images of me . . . _my face singing a silly song, talking about the stuffed animals in the room, reading the book of nursery rhymes_ . . . then she removed her hand and they were gone. But she remembered me! With tears streaming down my cheeks, I said to her, "You remember me, don't you?"

Carly nodded and again said, "Mama."

Carlisle then took Carly from Esme and held her close to say, "Carly, I know that your papa and Aunt Rose told you things about your mama that made you scared. I'm sorry they did that. It's not true. You have no reason to be scared of your mama. She loves you very much. And it is very dangerous to her if you bite her, do you understand? You cannot bite a human. It is very wrong. Your papa and Aunt Rose were very wrong to tell you that."

I watched Carly as she listened intently to Carlisle. I could tell that she trusted him and loved him very much. Carlisle kissed her on the forehead and then asked, "Would you let your mama hold you? It would mean a lot to her."

Carly looked from Carlisle to me then back to Carlisle to give him a nod. "Remember, she won't hurt you, so please do not try and hurt her, OK?"

Again Carly nodded and Carlisle held her out to me. With shaky hands, I reached out and took my baby into my arms at long last, settling her bottom onto my hip. Carly reached out a tiny hand to touch the tears now rolling down my cheeks. "Mama sad?"

"No, not now," I told her with a smile. "I'm very, very happy to see you and hold you again. I love you, baby girl. So much."

Finally, Carly gave me a smile and patted my cheek. I felt my heart swell and was sure it would burst. Esme spoke up then and suggested I sit in the rocking chair. "Thanks," I told her genuinely. "Thank you for being here with her."

Esme smiled and nodded, "Of course. We all love her so much."

I sat down in the chair and held Carly on my lap and talked to her about how her Uncle Emmett had made a book with pictures of her for me. I told her about my favorite pictures then I told her that she had another grandpa who was anxious to meet her.

Carly looked up at Carlisle and said curiously, "Opa?"

"Opa?" I repeated.

With a smile, Carlisle explained, "Opa is German for grandfather. I taught her to call me that because it was easy for her to say, and I hope to teach her several languages as she grows."

"Oh. That's kind of cool. I like that," I told him.

Then to Carly, Carlisle said, "Yes, Carly. You have another grandfather, Bella's father. His name is Charlie and he is a very nice man."

I looked at Carlisle then, still amazed at how he could be so forgiving to me after all I had put his family through. He really was the most compassionate man I had ever known.

Carly looked at me curiously as I ran my hand over her auburn curls. Then as my hand brushed her forehead, I noticed it was very warm. Carly had always been very cool to my touch, and I always thought it was because she was part vampire. "Carlisle? She feels very warm to me. Do you think she's running a fever?"

Carlisle quickly stepped over to touch Carly's forehead and say, "I'll get my thermometer."

As Carlisle left the room, Esme took his place to feel Carly's forehead. "She is always warm to us, so I guess we didn't notice," she commented.

Carlisle was back in less than a minute to hold the electronic thermometer to Carly's ear to get a reading. As soon as it beeped, he looked at it to announce, "Normal for Carly is around 85 - 88 Fahrenheit. Her temp now is 93."

Holding Carly away from me, I looked into her eyes and could see they weren't very bright and she looked tired. Carlisle said to me, "I would like to examine her."

"Of course," I replied as I stood to hand her over to Carlisle.

"I think Carly would be more comfortable if you waited downstairs. I can see that she is still a little nervous with you here."

Reluctantly, I nodded and murmured, "OK." Then very slowly, I bent forward to put a soft kiss on my daughter's forehead and whisper, "I love you," before leaving the room to make my way back downstairs to find the living room was now empty. Jacob must have gone outside to wait with Quil and Embry.

Easing myself down onto the sofa, I prayed that my baby would be OK. We had been apart for three long months . . . we had a lot of time to make up to each other. Just then, my cell phone went off in my pocket and I jumped forgetting it was there. Pulling it out, I answered it to hear my dad practically shout, "Bella! Why haven't you called me? What the hell is going on?" Closing my eyes for a moment, I sighed deeply and wondered how I could explain to Dad what was really going on. "Bella? Are you there?"

"Yeah, Dad, I'm here. I'm sorry I haven't called you . . . things have been a little crazy here."

"Did you find Carly?"

"Yes, yes, we found her, and she's beautiful, Dad. But . . . "

"But? But what? What are you having such a hard time trying to tell me?"

Finally, I took a deep breath and launched into the short version of what happened. I did promise him that I wouldn't lie to him anymore, but after I finished, I think he probably wished that I wouldn't have made that promise. He was very quiet after I finished for a moment then he asked, "And you're sure that Jake is OK?"

"Yes, Carlisle says he'll be fine. It's Carly I'm worried about. She's running a fever and Carlisle is taking a look at her right now. I'm waiting to see what he has to say."

"That sick bastard," I heard Dad mumble under his breath.

"I know, Dad. Believe me, we've all taken our turns at trying to hurt Edward. I have a bag of ice on my hand right now from punching him in the face. Apparently, vampire jaws are as hard as those of werewolves."

That finally brought a small chuckle from my dad. "So, are you bringing her home with you or what?"

"No, Dad. As much as I want to, she needs to be close to Carlisle. Especially now that she won't have her father around. She trusts Carlisle and loves him, and with her health in question, she needs him."

"Yeah, I see. Well, how long are you going to be there? Are you coming home soon?"

"Um, I don't know yet. I want to wait and see how Carly is doing then I'll decide. I promise I'll call you and let you know, OK?"

"OK, Bells. Please be careful, and . . . give Carly a kiss from her grandpa."

That brought a smile to my lips. "I promise, I will."

We said our goodbyes and I hung up just as Carlisle came down the stairs, carrying his black medical bag. Immediately, I stood up and asked, "How is she?"

"She's sleeping now. I've given her something for the fever, and I took a blood sample. I want to run home and do some tests on it then I'll know more."

I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair. "Is it serious?"

"I'm not sure yet, Bella. I promise, as soon I find out what's going on, I will tell you."

"Alright. Thanks." I watched Carlisle walk out the front door and then I turned to sink down onto the couch again as suddenly, I felt exhausted, emotionally and physically. When would this nightmare ever end?


	43. Chapter 42

**CHAPTER 42**

**Jacob POV:**

As Bella took the stairs with Carlisle, I decided to wait outside for her as the stale vamp air inside the cabin was killing me. Hauling my ass off the couch, I walked outside to find Embry and Quil in human form, lounging on the front porch rail talking to Emmett, which kind of surprised me. What was it about Emmett that made us feel so comfortable around him? He was supposed to be our mortal enemy, wasn't he? I guess saving my life might have had a little something to do with that. "Hey, guys," I said as I closed the door behind me then stepped over to stand beside Embry.

"Hey, Jake. What's going on in there now?" Embry asked.

"Uh, Carlisle took Bella upstairs to see Carly."

"Is that safe?" Quil asked right away.

"Carlisle assured me he wouldn't allow Bella to visit Carly if he didn't think it was safe. He promised me he would protect her, so . . . what choice did I have but to trust him?"

They both nodded at me then Emmett said, "You can trust him. It's what Bella has been waiting for."

We all stood there quietly for a moment until Embry said, "So, now what?"

I just shrugged, not really having an answer for them then Emmett surprised us by asking, "How about some pizza?"

"Pizza? Do vampires eat pizza?" Embry asked him.

With a laugh, Emmett placed his hand over his heart and replied reverently, "Man, I wish. I really, really miss pizza." Then he smiled and explained, "No, but there's a little place just a couple of miles from here, and I thought I could run in and get some for you guys. You all must be starving."

Embry looked at me and at Quil then shrugged, saying, "I could eat."

I had to laugh at that as I turned to Emmett and told him, "You should know that we are ALWAYS hungry. But you don't have to do that."

"I don't mind, really," Emmett insisted. "I need something to do, you know?"

I did know. I could see this was killing him, and how hard he was trying to keep it together. "Yeah, OK."

"Be back in a few," Emmett said as he headed toward his Jeep. The three of us watched him take off then I told the guys what all had gone down inside.

"Man, that is sick," Embry said.

"Dude, that's his kid! How could he do that to her?" Quil asked.

With a shake of my head, I said simply, "I don't know."

It grew silent for awhile as we all stood there in our little circle, waiting for Emmett to return. Suddenly I wanted more than anything to be home in La Push. I was still feeling a little weak and tired and I hated being here. Looking over at Quil, I wondered how he was doing being so far away from Claire, his imprint. And Embry . . . I'm sure he was really missing Leah. Finally, I cleared my throat and said, "Guys, I'm sorry things turned out like they did. When we ran off, I had no idea we'd be hanging around so long. Why don't you two head back home? I'll be OK here. Hopefully, I can get Bella to head back home soon."

Immediately, Embry straightened up to say, "No way, Jake. I'm not leaving you here alone surrounded by a bunch of bloodsuckers."

"Yeah, me, too," Quil added.

"Look I know you guys have got to be missing home . . . "

"Of course we are. I hate being so far away from Claire," Quil stated. "But you are our Alpha, Jake. We have to protect you. Plus, you're our brother. It would kill me if anything happened to you. You have no idea what we went through . . . watching you take that bite, and waiting all night to see if you would . . . " Quil's voice drifted off as he couldn't stand to finish that sentence.

My head dropped as I realized how much I had put them through and how lucky I was to have these guys. "Yeah, OK, I get that." I looked up at them to add, "But I hate this. Making you stay here when I know how hard it is."

"You're not _making _us stay here, Jake," Quil said. "We're here because we want to be. Period."

Then Embry, being who he is, relieved the tension by saying, "Man, knock off the chick shit, will ya?" As I turned to look at him, Embry ran his hands over his chest to add, "I feel my boobs growing as we speak."

That made me smile and that's all it took. Embry punched me in the arm as Quil gave him a shove and we were back to being Jake and Embry and Quil . . . just friends, not Alpha and wolf pack.

Quil launched into his latest "Claire stories," and soon, Emmett drove in and walked over, loaded down with four huge pizza boxes. "Anybody hungry?"

"Oh, man, I am starving!" Embry called out as we followed Emmett around to the back of the cabin and inside the back door to the kitchen. Emmett set the boxes on the table and we all took a seat as Embry opened the first box.

"Thanks, Emmett. This is cool," I told him sincerely. If it wasn't for the stink, I think I could forget this guy was a leech.

"No problem, Jake," Emmett returned, somewhat humbly for him.

"Hey, Jake. Is there anyway we can make this guy an honorary member of the wolf pack?" Quil asked.

"Yeah, you know, he has Alpha blood in him now. I think that should count for something," Embry reminded me as he wolfed down half a slice of pizza in one bite.

With a grin, I looked at Emmett and said, "He has a point, vamp. Want to switch sides?"

Emmett hung his head for a moment then looked up and around the table at all of us before saying rather seriously, "Man . . . you don't know how much I wish I could right now." I felt for him. I could see how much he really meant that. But, being Emmett, he quickly put a grin on his face to ask, "How many honorary members do you have in your pack?"

"You'd be the first and only," I assured him.

"Then I'm in!" Emmett announced.

Embry immediately held his hand up for a high five, which Emmett provided, then he did the same with Quil. Standing up, I held out my hand to say, "Welcome to the pack, bro."

As Emmett shook my hand, he said quietly, "Thanks, Jake."

"No, thank you, Emmett. I wouldn't be here without you." A look passed between us that said so much. I felt in that moment that we became brothers somehow . . . connected in a way that you can only do with someone you owe your life to. As I dropped his hand, I said to him, "Soooooo, let me see this list you made. If it's as long as you say, it might take me awhile to pay you back."

With a laugh, Emmett pounded me on the back, and said, "Oh you have no idea, Jake."

The guys joined in the laughter as I sat down to grab a slice of pizza, wishing that Emmett could do the same. I hated to admit it, but I think I was going to like hanging out with this leech. Then I grinned as I thought how Leah would shit her pants when she found out about this. Oh yeah, that would be fun.

Before long, Bella walked into the kitchen to ask, "What is going on out here? The noise woke me from a dead sleep."

I stood up to say, "I'm sorry. I had no idea you were sleeping." I automatically put my arm around her shoulders and dropped a kiss on her head.

"I didn't plan on sleeping, but I guess I'm still so tired. Who bought pizza?"

"Our new honorary pack brother, Emmett," Embry provided. "Want some?"

With a smile, Bella replied, "Yes, actually I'm starving!" I pulled out a chair for her as Emmett grabbed a plate out of the cupboard, added two slices of pizza then held it out to Bella. "

"Thanks, Emmett," Bella said as she accepted the pizza. "Did I hear Embry call you an 'honorary pack brother?' "

"Yep," Emmett replied. "Apparently since I saved Jakey here," he said as he put his arm around Jake's shoulder, "I get to be an honorary member of the wolf pack. Pretty cool, huh?"

"Yeah, that is pretty cool, isn't it, _Jakey_?" Bella asked me with a grin as she took a bite of pizza. I rolled my eyes at her as I grabbed another piece of pizza.

"So, Bella . . . how is Carly?" Emmett asked.

I watched as Bella's face fall a little as she answered, "She's running a fever. Carlisle took some blood and he's home now running some tests. He promised he would let me know what's going on as soon as he knew something."

"Oh," Emmett said simply. "Who is with her now?"

"Esme."

With a nod, Emmett told Bella, "I think I'll run up and check on her."

"Thanks, Emmett. I would appreciate that."

"Be right back," Emmett said as he left the room.

Turning to Bella, I told her, "I hate to say it, Bells, but . . . I can't help liking that guy."

Bella laughed at that as she raised a slice of pizza to her lips. "I know. He gets to you, doesn't he?"

I was glad to see Bella eat something. I couldn't stop thinking about our baby, the one that Bella was still carrying. Knowing how much I loved this little baby that I hadn't even met yet, I wondered how could Edward do something so horrible to his own daughter just to get back at Bella? It boggled my mind.

"So, how did it go with Carly?" I asked.

Bella smiled and I could see her eyes light up as she answered, "She remembers me."

"Yeah?"

With a nod, Bella told me how Carly put her hand to Bella's cheek and showed her memories of the two of them together. "I know she's confused now, but it's a start. And she let me hold her! It was . . . " Bella stopped for a moment then said sadly, "It was everything I was waiting for. To hold her in my arms again . . . I hope there's a way we can be together again. I hope that Edward hasn't ruined that for me, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," I sighed as I drew her close with one arm for a few seconds. Dropping a kiss on her head, I sat back and was happy to see her pick up her slice of pizza and take another bite.

Emmett was back in a few minutes to assure Bella that Carly was sleeping soundly and that her fever had actually come down a couple of degrees. That made Bella feel much better and I watched in amazement as she reached for her third pieces of pizza! We all sat around the table joking and laughing until Carlisle made his way into the kitchen. Then things quieted down as we waited to hear what he had to say.

"I ran some tests on Carly's blood sample and found her white blood cell count is up," Carlisle explained. "I think that her body is treating Jacob's blood like a virus and it's trying to fight it off. I'm not sure how long that will go on, or how serious it may get, but I would like to take her home with me and keep her there to watch her."

"Of course," Bella said quietly. I knew how badly she wanted to be with Carly, but letting her stay with Carlisle was best for her right now.

"I'm going to go up now and ask Esme to pack Carly's things," Carlisle informed Bella before he turned to Emmett to ask, "Emmett, could you help disassemble the crib so we can take it to our house?"

"Certainly," Emmett answered quickly as he stood to go do just that.

I was amazed when I heard Embry ask him, "Need some help?"

With a smile, Emmett replied, "Sure. Come on."

After they left the room, I asked Carlisle, "Where are Edward and Rose now?" I saw from the look Bella gave me that she was very interested in that answer, too.

"I had Jasper and Alice bring them to my house and I spoke to both of them," Carlisle informed us. "And I have to say that I am disturbed by their lack of remorse. They are both very angry at me for forcing them away from Carly, especially now that she's not feeling well. I told them that I want them to go away for awhile to think about what they've done, and that Esme and I would be taking Carly to stay with us."

"Will they go?" Bella asked anxiously.

"I am not giving them a choice, Bella," Carlisle stated. "Right now, Jasper and Alice have taken them out to hunt, and as soon as we are all out of here, they will come back here to pack up. Jasper has called his friends, Peter and Charlotte, and asked if they can all come and visit for awhile."

"And how is Rose taking that? She's not really fond of Peter and Charlotte," Emmett asked, his voice straining as he tried to hide his emotion.

Carlisle gave him a small smile at that before he answered, "Well, she's not happy about it, but like I said, I'm not giving them a choice."

"I'll never be able to trust either of them again, not around Carly. You know that, right?" Bella asked.

"Yes, I know that. I feel the same," Carlisle admitted. After a moment, Carlisle excused himself to go upstairs to check on Carly.

Immediately, I turned to Bella and said, "Bells, I'm sorry. I know you came here thinking that somehow you could bring Carly home with you and it looks like that's not going to happen."

Looking at me with such sad eyes, Bella replied, "I know. She needs to be with Carlisle. I told Dad that when he called me a little while ago to find out what was going on." Then she asked, "Jake, do you think there is any way that your dad would lift the banishment and allow Carlisle to move back to the Forks house with Carly? It would mean so much to me to have her close . . . "

"I know, Bella. I've been thinking about it. I plan on talking to him as soon as I get home, but . . . " Putting my hand to my neck, I added, "Now that I have this scar on the back of my neck, I doubt that Dad will budge. It kind of proves Sam's theory that Carly is dangerous."

"But it wasn't her fault! It was Edward . . . "

I stopped Bella with, "I know that, Bella. I'm just stating how it will look to Dad and Sam and the council."

With a sad nod, Bella sighed then hung her head in defeat.

"Um, speaking of home," Quil said, suddenly reminding Bella and me that he was still in the room. "Bella, would you mind if I borrowed your phone? I really need to talk to Claire."

"Oh, yes, of course," Bella replied as she dug her phone from her pocket and then held it out to him. "I'm sorry, Quil. I should have thought of that sooner."

"It's OK. Thanks, I really appreciate it." Quil then got up and walked out the back door to make his call in private.

"I told him and Embry to go home, but of course they wouldn't listen," I told Bella. "Got to protect the Alpha, and all that bullshit."

With a smile, Bella leaned in to kiss me. "Oh stop it. You like that they're here, I can tell."

Matching her smile, I kissed her back then said, "You know me too well."

"Mmm, hmm," Bella sighed as she kissed me again, this time longer until we heard Emmett and Embry trudging down the stairs with the crib.

"Hey, Bella," Emmett said as he entered the kitchen. "You still have Esme's keys? We need to load this thing into her car."

"Oh yeah," Bella replied as she dug into her pocket and pulled out the keys. "Here let me get the door for you." As I watched Bella open the door and then walk outside to unlock the car, I thought how badly I couldn't wait to move a crib into our little house on the rez. Our baby would be here in just four months, and we still had nothing for it! Panic rose for a moment inside me as I realized how soon I would be a father!

"Jake? You feeling OK?" Bella asked as she walked back into the kitchen. "All of a sudden, you look a little flushed."

"Um, yeah, just thinking about how much we still have to do for our baby. We don't have a crib or a car seat or clothes or diapers . . . and we need to paint the nursery. We only have four months, Bells . . . four months and this baby will be here!"

Bella laughed as she snaked her arms around my waist. "It's OK, Jake. We have plenty of time to get all that done, I promise. And the best part is, we will do it together."

As I pulled her close, I suggested, "Then let's get started, OK? As soon as we get home, let's move into the house and pick out a color to paint the nursery."

Bella gave me a dazzling smile as she said, "OK. Deal." Then as we sealed our deal with a kiss, we heard, "Hey, lovebirds. We're heading back to Carlisle's."

I looked over at Emmett, standing at the back door with a grin on his face and replied, "OK. We'll see you there."

As he stepped outside to leave, Emmett threw over his shoulder, "Carry on."

Looking down at Bella, I wiggled my eyebrows as I smiled and said, "Oh, I plan to," then I leaned into Bella and heard Emmett chuckle as I captured her lips again with mine. I couldn't wait to get home and get started on our house, but as I stood there in that kitchen, so far away from La Push, I realized that as long as I could hold Bella in my arms and kiss her like this, no matter where we were, this felt like home.


	44. Chapter 43

_**A/N: Hello Faithful Readers! So, this chapter is very long. I thought about cutting it in two, but decided you could probably use a nice long chapter. Again, thanks so much for the reviews. They really make my day!**_

**CHAPTER 43**

**Bella POV:**

Jacob and I helped move Carly's things into the farmhouse where she would be staying with Carlisle and Esme. Her temperature was hanging around 91, which was still considered a fever for her, but she was drinking water and even ate a few bites of a banana which made Carlisle feel better, so I was hoping she would be well soon. He also finally got her to accept a cup of blood and after, her color looked much better.

Jacob stayed out of her sight for now, as he didn't want to upset her, and even though I appreciated his thoughtfulness toward Carly, I really wished there was some way that we could all be together. I wanted more than anything for Carly to be a part of the family that Jacob and I would be with our baby. I decided not to give up hope. It could happen someday, and I would just have to be patient. _Yeah, me . . . patient_.

Emmett moved into the farmhouse too, leaving the log cabin empty for now. I hoped that being away from Carly would help Edward to realize what I had been going through for the last three months. Part of me wanted him to suffer greatly, yet, I also knew how hard this would be on Carly. Carlisle would not allow Edward even the chance to say goodbye to Carly before he left, which I felt was justified since I never had that chance when she was stolen from me, but I had to admit that it hurt when Carly asked about her papa several times, until finally Carlisle told her that her papa and Aunt Rose had to go away for awhile and that they would miss her very much. Seeing those tears in her big, beautiful eyes, I knew she didn't understand exactly why, but yet, she didn't ask again. Maybe she did understand more than I thought.

Esme cooked a nice meal for Quil, Embry, Jake and I that evening, then after dinner, I spent a little more time with Carly, with Carlisle or Esme always present just in case. She seemed to be a little more comfortable with my presence now, which made me very happy. She even allowed me to help Esme with her bath, and I held her and read a story to her before putting her to bed. Hopefully, the damage that Edward and Rose had caused would not be permanent.

After Carly went to sleep, I made my way downstairs to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. I was exhausted, yet I wanted to sit and relax with some tea before trying to make my brain stop long enough to sleep. Looking around, I wondered where Jacob was as I took the tea kettle from the stove and turned to the sink to fill it with water. I heard the back door open and thinking it might be Jacob, I turned to see Emmett standing there with a foul look on his face. "Emmett? What's wrong?"

"It's Edward. He is insisting on talking to you before he leaves."

Just the sound of his name now caused the anger to rise up in me again. "He's here? Now? I thought they left already."

With a shake of his head, Emmett explained, "They went to hunt before going back to the cabin to pack. Jasper is ready to go now, but Edward insisted on seeing you." He then added, "But you don't have to see him, Bella. I can tell him no and send him away. I don't want you upset anymore than you already are."

I gave Emmett a small smile as I set the tea kettle down on the counter. I loved how Emmett was so protective of me. Curiosity got the best of me as I wondered what else Edward would have to say to me. Finally, I said, "It's alright. I'll talk to him."

"Alright, but I'm staying with you. Is that OK with you?"

"Yes, big brother. I would appreciate that."

After throwing me a smile, Emmett turned away to say something to Edward then he opened the door further and allowed Edward to walk in front of him before he stepped into the kitchen and closed the door behind him. Edward looked much different than the last time I saw him when he was so angry and filled with such . . . hate. Now, his dark eyes had gone amber again and he looked so . . . defeated. "Thank you, Bella, for allowing me to see you before I left. I want to explain things to you . . . "

"Explain?" I asked, wondering what the hell kind of game he was playing now. "What could you possibly have to explain, Edward? You used our child . . . our baby, to get revenge on me. What about that don't I understand?"

"Bella, please, just listen to me. I know you're angry and you have every right to be. What I did was wrong . . . very wrong, and I am sorry. But please, just listen? I need to get this out."

Letting out a sigh, I nodded and slowly pulled a kitchen chair from the table to sit down. I felt whatever bullshit he had to say to me would be better taken sitting down.

Edward did the same and sank down into a chair across from me, while Emmett crossed his arms over his massive chest and stood somewhere between us, at the ready in case he would be needed. Edward started by saying, "Bella, do you remember when you asked about the money I left you in the bank and I told you that I left it for you because I still cared about you?" I gave him a brief nod to let him know I remembered, and he said, "I do. I still do, after everything."

Edward looked away for a moment and I wondered where this was going. I was not really up to hearing him declare his undying love for me after what he did, so I said, "Edward, stop. I can't listen to you tell me you care after what . . . "

"Bella, please. It's important to me that you understand why." Exhaling my frustration, I finally nodded to him to go on and so he began again, "Like I was saying, I still care, but I wasn't thinking clearly . . . I know that now. After Carly was born, I was just . . . amazed at this beautiful little creature that we had made and the more time I spent with her, the more in love I became with her and . . . with the idea of us becoming a family. But every time I looked at you, I saw you with _him_, and I remembered that you still carried a piece of him inside you."

Instinctively, my hand went to cover my belly where Jacob's baby still grew as Edward went on, "I was angry, and hurt and so confused . . . I decided that it would best to get away from you for awhile. So when Alice came to me with her vision of the Volturi coming for Carly, I took that as my opportunity to run away from you. I was hoping I could find some peace over this whole situation."

"So, I took Carly to Island Esme because I knew the Volturi wouldn't find us there. It was very difficult when I first arrived, remembering how Carly was conceived," again Edward stopped for a moment to look at me, but I looked away. I didn't want to trip down memory lane remembering our honeymoon right now, so I said, "Go on."

Edward got the hint. "The more time I spent with our daughter, I finally realized what a miracle she really was. Just like you tried to tell me when you were pregnant." He stopped and gave me a small smile, but I stayed stone-faced. I didn't want to show him any emotion at all.

"Well, anyway, I spent every moment of every day with our daughter, feeding her, changing her, bathing her . . . just sitting and holding her. It was wonderful, and I hoped that it would heal the hole in my heart and that I could go on living with just Carly and that would be enough. But . . . it wasn't enough."

I braced myself, knowing there was still more. "One day, Carly showed me her memories of you and asked why you weren't with us. I stupidly explained that because you were human and different from us, you couldn't be with us. She seemed satisfied by that answer, but no matter what we did, Rose and I couldn't relieve the sadness in her at your loss. I realized then that no matter how hard Rose tried, she could never be a substitute for Carly's real mother. Carly needed _you_ . . . _you_ were her mother. And . . . _I _still needed you. So, I became obsessed with the idea that somehow, you and I and Carly would be a family."

"So you taught her to want to hurt me? That I was a human that was only good for food? How would that make us a family?" I couldn't believe how warped his mind had become!

Shaking his head, Edward answered, "No, that was Rose. She was afraid that I would lure you back to me somehow and she would lose Carly forever. I didn't realize what she was telling Carly at first because I was so wrapped up in trying to come up with a plan to get you back. But when Carly showed me what Rose had been teaching her, some . . . disgusting, warped part of me realized that I could use that to my advantage to get you back."

"What?" I cried in dismay. I waited, but as Edward seemed hesitant to go on, I prompted him with, "I have to hear this, Edward. Tell me."

Very quietly, he explained, "I decided that if Carly bit you, that maybe since she was so small and only half vampire, her venom wouldn't be enough to kill you, but it might be enough to change you."

"Oh my God," I sighed as I dropped my head into my hands. I could barely believe what I was hearing!

"Bella, I never wanted you dead, and I wasn't out for revenge, or to punish you," Edward said quickly. "I thought that if Carly changed you, that . . . you wouldn't hate her for it, and somehow you would realize this is what you wanted all along and we would be a family," Edward explained, his voice fading toward the end.

My stomach churned at the thought of how close his plan had come to fruition. If Jacob hadn't jumped in front of me . . . my hand clutched at my shirt over my unborn baby as I said to Edward, "But my baby . . . I'm pregnant, Edward. Did you forget about that?"

"No. My original plan was to wait until you had born your baby, then I was going to suggest that you use the money I set aside for you to visit Carly, and . . . we would do it then." Throwing a glare toward Emmett, Edward added angrily, "I had no idea that my _brother_ would betray me and come crashing through the door with you in tow. That was _not _part of the plan."

Again, I dropped my head into my hands as my brain tried hard to comprehend what Edward was telling me. He was even more warped that I thought. Looking up at him, I asked incredulously, "And you expect me to believe you did this because you _love_ me? What kind of love is that, Edward? That's not love . . . it's, it's . . . about _possession_."

Edward shook his head as he insisted passionately, "Bella, I do love you. I will _always_ love you. It's not too late for us . . . "

As he reached for my hand, I pulled back and hissed, "Don't touch me!"

"Bella, please!"

"No," I insisted as I pushed back my chair to stand and shook my head. "No, Edward. You took my daughter away from me and poisoned her mind against me all out of selfishness! Now I have to hope to God that the damage isn't irreparable. I will fight for my daughter. I _will_ be her mother again, but not anywhere near you. I don't want you around my daughter ever again. Do you understand that? Never!"

Edward stood and faced me as he said slowly, "Carly is my daughter, too, Bella. I know what I did was wrong, and I am sorry for that. But you will not take her away from me. I will go away for now and take some time to . . . adjust . . . but I will see her again."

"We'll see about that," I warned him, my anger flaring.

"Don't forget that according to our divorce decree, I have full custody," Edward took glee in reminding me.

"And I could have you arrested for kidnapping her and taking her out of the country without my knowledge," I threw back at him. "But do you really want to play that game? Go through the court system? Do you want to do that to Carly?"

Seeing my distress, Emmett finally stepped up to say, "OK, that's enough. I think it's time to go, Edward."

Turning his glare on Emmett, Edward hissed, "Shut up, Emmett. You are not my keeper!"

"Maybe not, but I won't allow you to hurt Bella any more than you already have. She's exhausted and needs to rest. You may not care about the baby she's carrying, but I do."

"And why is that, Emmett?" Edward asked. "Why did you jump in so quickly to save the dog who impregnated her? I would think you would want him out of the way as much as I do."

"That's where you're wrong, Edward." Slipping his arm around my shoulder, Emmett explained, "Again, I only care about Bella like a sister . . . and unlike you, I can see how much she loves Jacob and how much it would hurt her to live without him. That's the difference between you and me. I don't live for my own selfishness. I can love someone and care about them and be concerned for their thoughts and their feelings . . . it's a great concept. You should try it sometime."

I smiled at Emmett as I leaned into him and said to Edward. "I am very thankful for Emmett. He brought me to my daughter and saved Jacob's life. Those are things that I will be indebted to him for for the rest of my life." Then with one final look at Edward I added, "Good bye, Edward," as I turned back to the sink, picked up the tea kettle and turned on the water to fill it.

"We will talk again, Bella. This isn't over," Edward insisted as I heard Emmett, "Enough. Let's go."

After the door closed behind them, I set the tea kettle down into the sink as my hand was shaking so much, I couldn't hold it still long enough to fill it. Dropping my head as I braced myself against the counter, I couldn't believe what I had just heard! _How could he do what he did and tell me it was out of love? That he wanted us to be a family?_

"Bella? Are you alright?" I heard from behind me as the door clicked shut.

Turning, I rushed into Jacob's waiting arms and let him hold me together once again. "I am now," I mumbled into his bare chest as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"I saw Emmett drag him out of here. What did he say to you?" Jacob asked, his voice strained. I could feel how tense his body was and knew it probably took every once of strength he had to restrain himself from ripping Edward apart.

With a sigh, I stepped back and said, "You won't believe it. He's more twisted than I thought."

I gave him the short version on what Edward had to say and watched his face contort in anger as I talked. "Are you fucking serious?"

"Yeah. This was all some plot to change me and . . . God, it could have worked if you hadn't jumped in front of me," I said slowly as I slid down into the kitchen chair and dropped my head into my hands.

Jacob lowered himself to kneel beside me and I felt him rest his head on my shoulder. "I would never have allowed that to happen, Bells. You have to know that. I will always fight for you."

I turned my head toward him and smiled. "I know. You're my knight in shining armor."

"Well, I don't know about the shining armor, but . . . "

I cut him off by leaning over to kiss him on the lips. "Thank you, Jacob. Thank you for always standing by my side. For loving me, for protecting me . . . "

This time, Jacob cut me off with a kiss . . . a long, drawn out, lingering kiss that sent out a shiver through my whole body. When he pulled back, he smiled and said, "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too. So much," I returned as I leaned my forehead against his. We sat there like that for a moment or two before Jacob stood up and asked, "So, I see you were trying to make a cup of tea. Why don't I do that for you?"

"Thanks. I couldn't get my hands to stop shaking enough to fill the kettle."

As Jacob moved around the kitchen, I sat there at the table, still somewhat in shock, and realized that what I wanted more than anything at that moment was to go home. I knew Jacob was more than ready to go home . . . so were Embry and Quil. I would miss Carly terribly, but I was rather used to that, and at least now I knew where she was and that she was in good hands with Carlisle and Esme . . . "Jake? I've been thinking that . . . maybe we should go home tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" I heard him ask from behind me.

"Yes. I'll miss Carly, but, now I know where she is and I know that she will be well cared for, so, I think it's time."

Jacob stepped over to sit down in the chair beside me. "Whatever you want to do is fine with me. If you want to stay for a couple more days . . . " Jacob offered, but I stopped him with, "No, I want to go home."

"OK," Jacob nodded with a smile. "Now we just have to figure out how we're going to get there."

"What?"

"We don't have a car, Bells. The guys and I came wolf, and you rode with Emmett."

"Oh, yeah." I had completely forgotten that! "Well, maybe Emmett wouldn't mind driving us home?"

"Why don't I ask him?" Jacob suggested. "And then I'll let the guys know we're leaving first thing in the morning."

With a nod, I said, "Yeah, that's fine."

"OK." Just then, the kettle whistled and Jacob got up to get it. After a few minutes, I had a cup of hot tea in front of me and Jacob left me with a kiss on the forehead to make his way outside to find Emmett, Embry and Quil.

Deciding I would be more comfortable sitting in one of the chairs by the fireplace, I picked up my cup of tea and walked into the living room to find Carlisle sitting there, reading the newspaper. "Hello, Bella. Enjoying some tea, I see?"

"Yes. Trying to relax some before I try to sleep."

"I see. I believe I heard voices earlier . . . you and Edward?" Of course he would have heard. I just nodded and sipped my tea as he asked, "Are you alright?"

"I suppose," I sighed as I sat down in the chair opposite Carlisle by the fire. "I just can't believe all this was done to Carly to . . . to get me to be a family with him and her. I mean, how twisted is that?"

"I can't say I understand it either."

We sat there in silence for awhile as I sipped my tea then I informed him that we were going home tomorrow morning. "I feel good leaving knowing that Carly will be here with you and Esme. I will miss her so much, but, I know it's for the best."

Smiling, Carlisle leaned forward and said, "I promise you, Bella, that we love Carly and we will take good care of her."

"And . . . you'll keep Edward away from her?" I hated to ask, but I had to know.

"Yes, I will. I hope that someday he can be her father again, but not now."

"Thank you."

"And I hope that we can bring her to you for a visit at Christmas."

"Do you think that's possible?"

With a smile, Carlisle told me, "Jacob has promised to talk to his father as soon as he gets home. He's the one that suggested it."

_Jacob._ It was sweet of him to offer, but I wasn't too sure Billy would go for it. Especially when he saw the bite mark on the back of his son's neck. Letting out a yawn, I set my tea cup down onto to the small table by the chair as Carlisle offered, "You can sleep tonight in the bedroom you used before to nap in, if you like."

"Thank you, I think I will," I said as I stood picked up my tea cup. Then I turned to say, "Good night, Carlisle, and . . . thanks again for everything."

With a kind smile, Carlisle stood and just patted me on the shoulder as he said, "Good night, Bella."

After taking my cup to the kitchen, I took the stairs slowly as suddenly I felt at least a hundred years old. The last couple of days had been horrific . . . something I definitely wanted to forget. I stopped at Carly's room first to peek in. Esme was sitting in the rocking chair, quietly reading a book and she smiled as she noticed me. "How is she?" I whispered.

"She's sleeping peacefully. I checked her temperature about 15 minutes ago and it's down another degree," Esme reported.

"Good. Um, I'm going to try and get some sleep. I'll be next door if you need me."

"Alright. Good night, Bella."

"Good night." Walking on to the bedroom I used earlier in the day, I closed the door then made my way to the bed where I sat down to kick off my shoes, wondering if Jacob would stay outside with the guys, or if he would sleep here with me. Smiling to myself, I was pretty sure he would find his way here. I decided to try and get as comfortable as possible, so I slipped out the jeans I had been wearing for three days now, turned off the light and climbed under the covers to settle in for the night. It wasn't long before I heard a tap on the door then Jacob's voice calling softly, "Bella?"

"Yes, Jake, I'm here."

Closing the door, Jacob explained, "I just wanted to make sure I had the right room." He quickly walked to the bed and it creaked as he laid down beside me.

"I had a feeling you would find me," I told him softly as I snuggled close to him. This was what I had been longing for . . . that feeling I only found in Jacob's arms. That feeling I was safe . . . that feeling of home.

"I know it will be hard for you to leave Carly, but I have to admit, I am so ready to go home."

I smiled at that. "I know, me, too."

As Jacob held me, I felt all the tension leave my body and before long, I was sound asleep. 

In the morning, I woke to find Jacob already up and gone. I quickly pulled on my jeans and shoes, made the bed, and after using the bathroom, I walked to Carly's room, to find it empty. Wondering where everyone was, I made my way down the stairs and heard voices coming from the kitchen. As I stepped into the room, I was very happy to find Carly sitting in a wooden high chair, smiling as she picked up Cheerios and put them into her mouth while Esme was at the stove cooking. "Good morning," I called out as I entered and moved to the table to pull out a chair and sit down beside Carly.

"Good morning, Bella," Esme answered. "I'm making pancakes. Want some?"

"Of course, I do. I wouldn't miss your pancakes for anything," I told her as I smiled at Carly.

Esme beamed as she turned to pour the batter onto the griddle and I turned to Carly to say, "Good morning, sweetie."

"Mama, eat?" Carly asked as she held up a Cheerio.

"Oh yes. I like Cheerios."

Carly smiled as she held the Cheerio up to my mouth, so I leaned forward and let her push it between my lips. As I chewed it, Carly clapped her little hands and I felt my heart burst at seeing her so happy.

"Oma?" Carly called out to Esme. When she turned, Carly asked, "More?"

"You need more Cheerios?" Seeing Carly nod, Esme took the box from the counter and sprinkled a few more onto the high chair tray. "There you go."

"Thanku," Carly said as she stuffed one into her mouth.

"Looks like she's feeling much better this morning," I said to Esme as I got up to get myself a cup of coffee.

"Yes, I believe she is," Esme agreed as she flipped pancakes. "Her temp is almost down to normal. It was 89 when I took it this morning."

"Do you know where Jacob is?"

"I believe he's outside with the other boys. I told them I was fixing breakfast, so I'm sure they're close by," Esme assured me with a knowing smile.

Moving to the back door, I opened it and called out, "Jacob!" I only had to wait a few seconds before I heard him call back, "Coming!" It was cold this morning . . . I could see my breath as I stood there waiting for Jacob, rubbing my hands up and down my arms to keep warm.

"Morning, Bells," Jacob smiled as he walked up to take me in his arms and kiss me.

"Mmm, warmth," I said into his bare chest.

"I feel so used," Jacob teased as I put my cold hands just inside the waistband at the back of his shorts.

Leaning back, I looked up into his face as I asked, "Are we leaving right after breakfast?"

Jacob nodded then asked, "If that's OK with you?"

"Yeah, that's OK, but I think I want to shower first. Carly is awake and feeling much better. She's in the kitchen eating Cheerios. It's so cute," I told him with a smile. Then I quickly invited, "Come and see her."

"I don't know if I should, Bells. I don't want to upset her."

"Let me talk to her first. I'll let her know that you won't hurt her." Seeing Jacob's hesitation, I added, "At least stand at the door and look in."

I took him by the hand and led him to the door then I went inside to sit down beside Carly again. "Carly? Mama has a friend that wants to see you. His name is Jacob and he is very nice. Mama loves him very much and . . . well, Mama would like for you and Jacob to be friends." I glanced at Esme and caught the worried look on her face, so I mouthed to her, "Please?"

Setting the spatula down, Esme moved over to Carly to say, "You can trust your mama, Carly. Jacob is a nice man and he won't hurt you. I will hold your hand, honey. Is that alright?"

Carly looked between the two of us then finally nodded. Looking at the door, I motioned for Jacob to come in. I watched Carly as Jacob slowly opened the door and walked inside. He stopped a few steps away from her and said softly, "Hello, Carly."

I could see in Carly's eyes that she recognized him as the person she bit and immediately, she reached out to Esme in alarm. Esme took her from the high chair to hold her in her arms as she cooed, "It's alright, honey. Jacob is your mama's friend. He won't hurt you. I'll hold you, don't worry. You'll be safe."

Jacob gave me a worried look as he said, "I don't think this is a good idea, Bells. I don't want to scare her."

Getting up from the table, I stepped over to Jacob and took his hand. "It's alright, Jake. Just go slow."

Finally, Carly looked straight at Jacob and he smiled at her. "Hi, pretty girl. You look just like your mommy." Jacob glanced at the high chair and then reached over to grab a few Cheerios from the tray as he said, "And I see you like Cheerios. So does she." Then he held out his open hand with the Cheerios on his palm to Carly. I held my breath, wondering what she would do.

Carly reached out and plucked a Cheerio from Jacob's hand and popped it into her mouth then smiled and said, "Thanku." What happened next could only be called a miracle. Carly held her arms out toward him and said, "Jacob."

Jacob looked at me with shock in his eyes, and I nodded quickly to let him know it was alright. Turning back to Carly, he slowly took her into his arms and held her rather awkwardly, as I realized he had probably never held a small child before. Then Carly put her small hand on his cheek and I could see by the amazed look on Jacob's face that she was showing him something.

Esme and I just stood there watching and waiting until finally Jacob nodded and said softly, "Yes, I know. I'm sorry about that too. But it's OK, as long as it never happens again. You can never bite anyone like that ever again, OK?"

Carly nodded her little head then turned to me to ask, "Mama love Jacob?"

With tears in my eyes, I nodded and answered, "Yes, baby. Mama loves Jacob very much."

Carly nodded at me then turned back to Jacob and said, "More Cheerios?"

Jacob chuckled at that as he told Carly, "Yes, you can have more Cheerios." He held out his hand to her and smiled as she proceeded to pick them up one by one. I felt like my heart would burst at that very moment. Was there a chance that we could be a family together? I hoped so . . . I really, really hoped so. 

Saying good bye to Carly was emotionally one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Carlisle had come in and after I had kissed and hugged Carly for at least the tenth time, he took her from my arms and told me, "I promise, Bella, we will find a way to visit for Christmas. And you know you are always welcome to come here anytime."

Esme, who was standing next to Carlisle, spoke up then as she added, "And we hope you visit often."

"I know. Thank you so much, both of you, for eveything. I know that Carly will be fine with you."

After yet another round of good byes, Jacob finally pulled me out the door to where Emmett was waiting with Esme's SUV to take us home. Jacob had sent Embry and Quil on home earlier this morning, so it would be just the three of us on our little road trip. Seeing the huge tears rolling down my cheeks, Emmett asked, "You OK, sis?" as he folded me into those huge arms of his.

"Yes, I'm OK. But let's go now before I change my mind."

With a chuckle, Emmett opened the back door of the SUV and waited for me to climb inside then he closed it and hopped into the front behind the wheel as Jacob crawled into the back beside me through the opposite door.

"OK, now, kids. No sex in the back seat while I'm driving," Emmett said as he looked at us in the rear view mirror with his signature grin. "This isn't prom night in the limo, you know."

Jacob whacked Emmett on the back of the head as he ordered, "Just drive, will ya?"

Emmett guffawed as he put the car in gear and started down the drive, while Jacob looked over and asked, "How long is this drive?"

"About 4 or 5 hours," I answered with a sniff as I wiped at my eyes.

"OK, funny man, turn on some tunes and don't forget to stop for Bella to pee at least once an hour," Jacob ordered.

"Yes, sir, bossman," Emmett shot back as he turned on the satellite radio and hit the rap/hip hop station. Soon the SUV was booming with a rap beat as Emmett bobbed his head in time to the music.

Turning to Jacob, I said sarcastically, "Turn on some tunes? Yeah, great idea."

Jacob actually snickered as Emmett began singing along with Tupac, "_California . . . knows how to party . . . "_

As I settled back into my seat and watched the Canadian scenery fly by, I felt that familiar ache creep back into my chest the farther I moved away from my little girl. But I also couldn't help looking forward to going home.

Emmett parked the SUV beside my dad's cruiser in front of my house around one in the afternoon and we all climbed out just as Dad opened the front door. "Hey, Dad," I called out.

"Hey, Bells," he returned just before he folded me into his arms for a quick hug. Stepping back, he asked, "You OK?"

"Yes, Dad, I'm fine. And Carly is much better, too. Her temp was down to normal before we left this morning."

With a smile, Dad replied, "Good, I'm glad. So, when am I going to get to meet this granddaughter of mine? I mean, can I meet her? Is she . . . "

"Yes, you can. What happened with Jake was . . . well, Carly is much better now, and without her father around to poison her mind any further, it shouldn't happen again. Carlisle wants to bring her here for a visit at Christmas. And we are welcome to visit them anytime, so if you can't wait until Christmas, we can always drive up there."

Dad nodded then turned to Jake. "So, how are you? You OK?"

"Yeah. Doc says I'll be just fine, thanks to this goon over here," Jacob said as he nodded toward Emmett.

Immediately Dad grabbed Jacob into a hug, pounding him on the back before he released him and then held his hand out to Emmett to say seriously, "Thank you, Emmett. Thank you very much." As Emmett shook his hand and mumbled "No problem," I could see in Dad's eyes how much he meant that. I already knew he loved Jacob like a son, but glancing over at Jake, I realized that now Jacob knew that, too.

Then clearing his throat, Dad announced, "Come on, let's get inside. It's cold out here."

I smiled at Jacob as he took my hand to lead me inside then I turned to see Emmett open the car door. "Aren't you coming in?" I asked him.

"No," Emmett replied with a shake of his head. "I better get back."

Dropping Jacob's hand, I walked back to Emmett and put my arms around him. "Thank you, Emmett."

"Sure, sis," he murmured as he held me close for a moment. Then letting me go, Emmett added as he put his cold hand to my stomach, "Take care of yourself and this baby, OK?"

"I plan to," I returned with a smile. "See you at Christmas?"

"Definitely."

Then Jacob stepped up to hold out his hand. "See ya, buddy."

Completely ignoring Jacob's hand, Emmett picked Jacob up into a big bear hug and shook him a little before setting him down again with a grin and saying, "Yep, see ya buddy."

Jacob shook his head, but couldn't quite hold back his laughter. "Man, I'll never get used to being around a vamp like you."

"Well, you better, because I am always going to be around. I'm an honorary member of the wolf pack, remember? You can't possibly get rid of me now."

"Oh my God, what have I done?" Jacob asked in mock horror as he put his hand over his eyes.

Emmett's laughter was contagious and had Jake and I joining in until finally, he said, "I gotta go. Take care you guys."

"We will. You, too," I said. And with that, Emmett climbed into the car and drove away.

Turning to me, Jacob said, "You're cold. Come one, let's get inside."

With a nod, I turned and walked with Jacob into the house where I stopped just inside to take a deep breath. I smelled food . . . something cooking. My dad did not cook. I immediately turned and walked to the kitchen where I found Sue Clearwater standing at the stove, stirring something while Dad set the table. "Um, hi Sue," I said hesitantly.

Setting her spoon down, Sue turned to say with a smile, "Hello, you two. We thought you might be hungry when you got home, so I made dinner."

_Wow. Sue Clearwater, in my kitchen, making dinner._ I wasn't sure I was OK with this, but then I looked at the smile on my dad's face and realized it didn't matter how I felt. If Sue made him happy, then I would have to be OK with it no matter what. Putting a genuine smile on my face, I said to Sue, "Thanks. That's really nice of you. What are we having?"

I caught a wink from Dad as Sue answered, "I made my grandmother's special recipe spaghetti sauce, and we have salad, and homemade yeast rolls and for dessert, my triple layer chocolate cake. But you'll notice there are two pieces missing as I could not get it out of the house without Leah and Seth sampling it. It's their favorite."

Jacob laughed at that then said, "Speaking of Leah, I need to talk to her. Is she at home?"

Turning to Jacob, Sue replied, "She was when I left, but I'm not sure when she was going out on patrol. But she is not happy with you, you know."

"Uh, yeah, I know. I got that when I talked to her on the phone. I'll call the house first, I guess." I reached into my pocket and held out my cell phone, and Jake took it with a smile before saying, "Thanks, babe."

"Babe?" I asked. "Did you really just call me, 'babe?' "

With a wink, Jacob moved quickly to the back door and made his escape. I rolled my eyes and sighed as Dad laughed. "I hate to ask, but do you think I have time to run upstairs and change? I showered this morning, but I've been wearing these clothes for four days now, and I really want to put clean clothes on."

"Sure honey. This sauce can simmer a little longer. Go ahead," Sue replied.

So I made my escape up the stairs into my room where I grabbed clean underwear, a bra, t-shirt and a pair of clean sweatpants from the laundry basket on the floor then peeled the dirty clothes from my body to slip into the clean ones. After sitting on the bed to put on clean socks, I pushed myself from it, promising that I would be back for a nap in a little bit, then made my way back downstairs to my family. I found the three of them sitting at the table, Jacob eating his salad and a roll. Seeing me, Jacob apologized with his mouth full, "Sorry, Bells. I couldn't wait. I'm starving!"

"That's fine. I'm sorry I took so long, but I feel sooo much better," I told him as I sat down beside him.

"Yeah, I plan to go home and clean up after we eat."

"So, you and Leah OK?"

With a smile, Jake nodded. "Yeah, she promised she wouldn't kick my ass, but I'm not so sure she won't."

I smiled at that as Sue served up the food then we all chatted as we ate. Everything was delicious, and I enjoyed seeing Sue's face light up as I told her that. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad having another woman around. Then I smiled as I realized I couldn't wait until my mom came to visit at Christmas. Now that would be fun.

After we finished, Jacob kissed Sue on the cheek and thanked her for the meal. "Everything was delicious as usual, Sue."

"Thanks, Jake. Glad you enjoyed it."

Then he turned to me and kissed me before saying, "I'm going to head home and clean up."

"Alright. Call me later?"

"I will." Then Jacob kissed me again, a little longer until I heard Dad clear his throat. Stepping back, Jake just grinned at Dad and said, "See ya, Charlie."

"Take care, Jake," Dad returned right before Jake closed the back door behind him and he turned his gaze on me.

"What? Do I really have to remind you yet again that I'm pregnant?" I asked.

With a shake of his head, Dad just turned to say to Sue, "Feel like a walk?"

"Yes, I do, thank you."

"Well, I feel like a nap," I told them. "I have a lot of sleep to catch up on. You two behave, alright?" I added as I put my hand on the banister as I took the first step up the stairs.

"Ha, ha, very funny, Bells," Dad returned quickly.

"Thanks, Sue, again for dinner. It was delicious and very nice of you."

"You're welcome, honey. I'll see you later," Sue said as Dad helped her into her jacket. It was nice to see my father acting so gentlemanly.

With a wave, I turned and made my way upstairs to my room and flopped down onto my bed. _Oh, how I missed you, my comfortable bed. _Scooping the pillow up under my head I settled into a comfortable position and was asleep in no time.


	45. Chapter 44

_**A/N: First of all, I apologize AGAIN for taking so long to post this chapter! Why is it that life always gets in the way of what you love to do? I hope you all didn't give up on me. My story is winding down, but of course I want to wrap things up, so watch for another chapter. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your reviews! You all are the best.**_

**CHAPTER 44**

**Jacob POV:**

"Oh my God, Jacob, I was so worried," Leah said into my ear as she squeezed the life out of me with a vicious hug. I had found Leah pacing in front of my house, waiting for me in human form as soon as I got home from Bella's.

"Thanks, Leah, but, could you loosen your grip a little? I can't breath!"

Letting go, she punched me hard in the arm. "Don't you ever do that to me again, Jacob Black!"

With a grin, I rubbed my arm promising, "I won't, OK?"

Her eyes set in anger, Leah demanded, "Turn around."

I wasn't exactly sure why she wanted me to turn around, but I knew she wasn't in the mood for arguing, so I did as she asked then as she stepped up behind me and I heard her gasp, I realized why. I could feel Leah's finger lightly skim the surface of the bite mark left behind and when she dropped her hand, I turned back to face her.

I watched the anger melt from her face as her eyes softened and she put her arms around me once again to hold me close. "I was so scared, Jake. I couldn't stand to lose you, too."

Wrapping my arms around her, I whispered, "I know. I feel the same about you." We stood there for a moment or two until finally Leah stepped back and leaned forward to put a soft kiss on my lips. Then I saw the mask slip back in place and Leah the Beta stepped out of my embrace to say bitterly, "So, their little devil spawn bit you and broke the treaty. Now what?"

Exhaling, I said, "Leah, it wasn't like that. She had no idea what she was doing . . . "

Now the anger was back in her eyes, flashing as she spit at me, "Oh, so since she's Bella's little brat we're going to just excuse this little incident? What if she would have _killed_ you, Jacob? Would you want me to just excuse your murder because she's just a baby? That's bullshit, Jake! BULLSHIT!"

"Look, Leah, I get it, you're pissed. So am I, but not at Carly. She was just being used by her poor excuse of a father and his blonde bimbo accomplice. They are the ones you should be pissed at. They filled her head with all these lies about how Bella was human and didn't want Carly because she was different and how humans are only good for food. She attacked Bella because of them."

"Then where are they? Are they dead? Because they should be."

"I agree, they should be, but they aren't. Carlisle sent them away."

"Damnit, Jake!" Leah cried, her voice shaking with her rage. "Why do they always get away with this shit? The treaty clearly states that if they bite a human, the punishment is death. If we do nothing, then this precious treaty that we hold so dear is no more than a fucking piece of old paper!"

She had a point . . . and I knew it would be the same point that Dad would make as soon as I walked through the front door. Scraping my hand through my hair, I sighed as I asked Leah, "What do you expect me to do, Leah? Carlisle saved my fucking life for the _second_ time up there. How could I say, 'Thanks for saving my life, now get out of the way while I kill your son.' I couldn't do it, Leah! As much as I want that bastard dead, I couldn't do it. So, I let Carlisle handle it." Then, being the smart ass I am, I added, "And besides, to be technical, it didn't happen on or near our land. It happened in Canada."

I knew that would get her. "Shut up, Jacob!" Leah spit out as she smacked me yet again. "This isn't funny."

"I know it's not. But what's done is done and I'm moving on, and so should you. This is over, Leah."

I watched as she stood there, hands on hips, biting her lip to keep herself from exploding, hoping she would give in for once and listen to me until finally she said, "Fine, Jacob. You're the Alpha. But I just want to go on record as saying that this wrong and _someone_should pay."

With a smile I said, "Fine, it's on record. Now why are you standing here with me when you could be all cuddly with Embry?"

Running her hand through her hair, she told me, "His mom grounded him as soon as he got home for running off and not telling her. I have no idea what story he came up with, but whatever it was, it didn't matter. She was royally pissed. She had the cops out looking for him even though I told her he was fine."

Poor Embry. I hated that his mom didn't know that Embry was part of the wolf pack. Sam would never allow him to tell, but I could see how it was affecting their relationship. They were the only family that each other had, and I hated to see how it was ripping them apart. "I think it's about time Embry's mom knew the truth, don't you?" I asked Leah.

Her eyes lip up as she smiled at me. "Really, Jake? You're going to allow him to tell her?"

"Hell, yeah. I hate how she thinks the worst of Embry."

"Yeah, me, too." I finally saw her smile again as she added, "Thanks, Jake."

"You're welcome. And you can be the one to tell him, if you like."

"I will. Right now. I'll go and let you face your dad. Good luck with that."

"Gee, thanks."

Leah turned to go and as I watched her disappear into the woods, I exhaled turned and walked slowly toward the house. I was really not looking forward to what was waiting inside for me. Dealing with Leah was one thing, but dealing with my dad, the leader of the tribal council . . . well, that would be a whole different ball game.

Taking a deep breath, I finally opened the door and walked inside to find Dad sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a piece of pie. "Hey, Dad. Is there any more of that pie?"

I could see by the look on his face, Dad had been worried . . . more worried than I realized. "Jacob, thank God you're home," he said as he wheeled his chair toward me.

I kneeled down in front of him and hugged him and noticed that he held on a little longer than usual. When I sat back on my heels he asked, "Are you alright, son?"

"Yeah, Dad. Doc says I'll be fine."

"Why, Jacob? Why did this happen?"

Standing, I asked him, "Do you want the long version or the short version?"

With a shake of his head, he answered, "Just tell me what the hell happened."

I nodded and moved to sit at the table as Dad wheeled back to his spot and picked up his cup of coffee. "OK, here goes," I started as I spilled out the whole horrific tale, beginning with Emmett coming to Bella to tell him that Edward had been lying, to taking the bite for Bella, to Edward trying to justify what he did and finally that Carlisle had sent them away and Carly and I made peace with each other. I tried to skate over the bite, not wanting him to know how serious it really was, but he knew. I could see in his eyes that he knew he had come close to losing his only son.

"So where are they now?"

"Carlisle sent them away. Jasper and Alice took them to Texas to stay with some friends of his there. Neither of them were happy about going, but Carlisle didn't give them a choice."

"And you say that you held this child? And that she didn't attack?"

"Yes, Dad. Carly has this . . . gift. She can touch you and show you her thoughts and memories. It's really something. Anyway, when she held her hand to my face, I saw things the way she saw them . . . it was like seeing it all played out in front of me. And when Bella reached for her, I could feel how she felt. Carly was filled with this . . . fear and confusion, yet it was like she was a robot or something . . . like she had been programmed to attack when she saw Bella. And when Edward whispered, "Bite her," she attacked and tried to do just that. I'm glad I jumped in front of her and took the bite. Doc told me that because of my healing ability, I was able to overcome it, where as . . . Bella might not have. I did what I did to save Bella and our baby and I would do it again in a heartbeat."

Dad was quiet for a moment or two then he looked up and said, "I understand why you jumped in front of Bella, Jacob. I would expect no less of you knowing how you feel about her and your child. What I don't understand is why it is going unpunished."

I sighed as I wiped my hand over my eyes. Here we go. "Look, Leah already chewed my ass for this, and I will tell you what I told her. Carlisle saved my life, Dad, for the second time. How could I thank him for saving my life then tell him to step aside while I kill his son?"

"I understand that, Jacob, and I am glad that he was good enough to save you. We owe him a lot. But that doesn't excuse the break of the treaty."

"Here we go with the treaty again. Look, not everything is written in black and white here. There is a lot of gray area that is not covered in this treaty!" Jumping from the chair, I paced the kitchen as I carried on my tirade. "I am so damn sick and tired of hearing about this fucking treaty! It's an ancient piece of paper that I understand was needed at the time it was written, and it has served it purpose, but if you insist on having it, then update it, will ya? I know when it was written no one thought that someone like Bella would fall for one of them and marry one and have a baby with one then realize she was really in love with me and become pregnant with my baby . . . it was unthinkable! Just saying it now makes me realize how fucking crazy it all is. But it happened, and now we have to deal with it, Dad . . . and realistically, for what's good for all of us. Do you get that?"

Dad sat there patiently letting me rant, never showing me any emotion, as usual. Now, as I leaned back against the counter watching him, he still sat quietly, I know trying to think of a way to answer me without setting me off again. Finally he said, "Jacob, I agree with you. The treaty does need some changes. I have already been drafting them, and I plan to meet with Carlisle to go over them. And, you are right in that we never saw any of this coming. How could we?" He gave me a small smile then, and I returned it with a nod as I watched his smile fade as he added solemnly, "But, this . . . attack . . . Jacob, I could have lost you, son."

With a sigh, I dropped my head and moved over to kneel beside his chair. "I know that, Dad. But you didn't. And I know you think that just because she's Bella's kid, I'm not thinking clearly, but I am. I've held her in my arms, and I know that she won't ever do anything like that again. I trust Carlisle to never allow it. You know that he doesn't believe in living like that, and he will teach her how to be like him. Carly is going to live with Carlisle and Esme and he promised Bella that he would not allow Edward or Rose to be around her at all. Bella trusts him and so do I. But, Dad . . . Bella loves her, and needs to see her, and with them living 5 hours away in another country . . . it makes that difficult. Would you consider allowing them to come here to visit? To bring Carly to Charlie's house, let's say, and let Charlie and Bella spend time with her?"

His face was again set in stone, and I wished that I had Edward's freaky gift of reading minds about now. Looking at me, Dad said, "I have no say over what goes no in Charlie's house, as you well know. But I would be cautious, Jacob. Very cautious."

"You know I will. I would never take any chances with Bella or my child. Thanks, Dad. You have no idea how much this means to Bella . . . and to me." I took his hand and held it for a moment before I turned to stand. Before I could move, Dad squeezed my hand to keep me there and then he turned my head to look at the back of my neck. _Oh__God__.__.__.__the__scar._I held my breath as I felt his rough finger flow over it . . . and then his whole hand covered it as I heard him whisper something in Quileute.

"Dad, I'm sorry," I started until he hushed me and again whispered in Quileute. His hand felt warm even on me and I felt a strange vibration all of a sudden coming through his fingers into my neck . . . kind of a tingling. Was I imagining it or was Dad really healing my wound through some spiritual way?

Finally he finished and I felt his lips brush the scar before he let go of my hand. I turned my head slowly to look at him and saw not only my father, but the great leader of our tribe. Even sitting in his wheelchair, Billy Black commanded respect as a leader, and what I saw now filled me with pride at being his son. His love for me was evident in his eyes, as they pierced me now as he put his warm hand on top of my head and said, "I love you, son."

"I love you, Dad." Then we embraced again, and I felt whole . . . complete somehow, and stronger than I ever felt. I was Billy Black's son . . . the heir apparent, and I had been running from that for way too long. Now it was time to stand and be the Alpha Male I was born to be. I would lead the pack and someday, the tribe, and I would make my father proud of me.

We parted as we heard the front door open and close then Rachel hurried into the kitchen to say, "I heard you were home."

I stood and moved toward her as she wrapped her arms around me and cried, "Oh my God, Jacob. I can't believe we almost lost you."

"I'm fine, sis. You can't get rid of me that easily." As I stood there holding my sister, I realized how much family really meant to me. From now on, Bella was my family, along with our baby, and even Carly. And we would make it work, somehow, because family is everything. 

Where do you want this, Jake?" Embry asked as he and Quil carried in Bella's desk. Bella and I were finally moving into our little house on the rez, and I conned the guys into helping.

"Um, good question. Just set it down here in the living room and we'll decide where to put it later," I told them as I shoved aside a couple of boxes to make room for the desk.

Once it was set down, Embry grinned as he elbowed me and said, "This place is sweet. You think maybe Leah and I can uh, 'borrow' it sometime?"

"You want to have sex in my house?" I asked increduously.

"Come on, Jake. Help a bro out," Embry pleaded.

"Uh, no. Can't do it. Bella would kill me. You'll have to get your own place, dude."

"Yeah, sure, like it's that easy. You have a rich girlfriend."

And just like that, I was pissed. "It's not like that, and you know it, Embry," I shot back angrily. I hated the idea that anyone thought I was living off of Bella's bloodsucker money. "_I_ will pay the rent on this place, not Bella. _I_will provide for my family."

"OK, OK, sorry, dude," Embry said as he put his hands up in front of him and backed away. "I'll just go back out to the truck and get more stuff."

As I watched him walk out the door, I sighed as I felt like a dick for yelling at him. "Hey, Jake, you know Embry. He's always shooting his mouth off," Quil commented quietly. "We know you're not living off Bella."

"Yeah, well, I don't want anyone to think I would take _his_ money," I insisted stubbornly. "Bella sold her SUV and she is spending some of it to buy some furniture, but that's all. That money is hers, not mine. I hate it, but . . . she has a right to buy what she wants with it." It still killed me to even agree to that, but Bella was right. We were going to be a team, and if she wanted to use some of her money to buy furniture, she should be allowed to do that. I would just have to suck it up and be a man about it, and as hard as it was, I was trying.

Quil left with a nod to go back outside as I took a look around at the chaos that was our new place. There were boxes sitting around and the new blue couch we bought yesterday was sitting in the middle of the living room along with the plaid chair and ottoman and coffee table. Charlie had encouraged Bella to take anything she wanted from the attic at his house, so we had dug around in there and found a couple of lamps that worked but needed new shades, and now they sat here on the floor, along with an old rocking chair that Bella wanted to refinish for the baby's room.

"Jake?" I heard Bella holler from the kitchen. "Did you find the box that says 'dishes' yet?"

"No, not yet," I called back. "I'll go out to the truck and see if it's there."

After I heard her answer back, "OK," I walked out to the truck and found Embry there, sitting on the bumper of the truck, head down, forearms resting on his knees. "Hey, Em. I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"No, I'm sorry, man, for being such a dick," Embry returned as he stood up to face me. "I guess I'm just . . . kind of jealous, you know? I want to be with Leah all the time, but . . . we have to play like little kids and sneak around. It's getting old."

"I get that," I said with a smile as I went on to admit, "I've been sneaking into Bella's window pretty much every night just to sleep with her."

"I'm just letting shit get to me, you know? Even though my mom knows now that I'm a wolf, she's still insisting that I finish high school, even though I'm barely passing. I'd rather just find a job and start working so I can move out and be with Leah."

"I know, I get that. You could always get a GED like I did. Maybe she could go for that?"

"I don't know, maybe," Embry shrugged.

"Look, since the Cullens are gone, I think we'll be able to ease up a little on patrols and run two wolves at time so I can give you more time to work at a job part time until you finish school."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And, I've been thinking about talking to Jared's dad about maybe building some simple houses like this one for members of the pack, you know? I mean, Sam and Emily have a house, and my sister and Paul can live with Dad, but someday, Jared and Kim will need one, and you and Leah, and eventually, Quil here and Claire. We can all help with the labor when we're not on patrol or going to school to keep the cost down, and hopefully the tribe can help with paying for them. I think it's the least the tribe owes us."

I watched a smile curve onto Embry's face as he nodded and said, "Yeah. Yeah, Jake, that's a great idea."

Quil nodded his agreement, too, as I told them, "Well, I haven't been the best Alpha, but I plan to change that, and taking care of the pack is going to be my first priority."

"Jake? Did you find that box?" I heard from behind me.

Turning to Bella, I smiled, "No, sorry. We were talking."

"Uh-oh. Now you're in trouble with the little woman," Embry said to me under his breath as he stuck his elbow into my side.

Obviously, Bella overheard as she stepped up to Embry and said sweetly, "Little woman?" I bit my lip trying to hide my smile as I watched my best friend, a 6 foot 4 inch powerful werewolf, shrink before my 5 foot 5 inch girlfriend. "Embry Call, if you ever want to be invited over to dinner at my house, you will NEVER call me the 'little woman' ever again, is that clear?"

Sheepishly, Embry nodded and said, "Yes, ma'am."

Quil and I both snickered, earning a glare from Bella as she turned to walk back to the house, calling out, "Back to work, boys!"

Giving Embry a shove, I stepped up into the truck to look for the box marked 'dishes.' Suddenly I was in a hurry to get all this shit moved into the house, so we could put it away and I could start living life with Bella.

As Embry and Quil were leaving to run their patrol, Seth showed up to help. We quickly put him to work moving furniture, and unpacking boxes and after awhile I asked him if he was sorry he stopped by.

With a shrug, he replied, "Naw. I don't mind. Gives me something to do other than listen to Mom and Leah fight."

"Fight? What's going on?"

"I guess Mom finally figured out that Embry's been sneaking in at night. Didn't make her too happy."

"No, I guess it wouldn't." I tried to hide my smile as I remembered when Charlie found out I was doing the same thing. "What about you? Does it bother you?"

Seth looked up from the box he was unpacking and answered, "Like I have a choice? Leah's going to do what she's going to do. Doesn't matter what I think."

"Yeah, but speaking as someone who had to listen to Paul and my sister going at it, I know it's not easy, bro."

That's when Seth smiled as he shot back, "Yeah, at least I don't have to listen to Paul. That must be gut-wretching."

"It is, man. It is."

Looking back down into the box, Seth said more seriously, "I don't mind Leah being with Embry, I mean, I like Embry. And she's so much happier than she has been. It's kind of nice seeing the old Leah again."

"Yeah. I like that, too."

Just then the door burst open as Leah came stalking in. As she slammed the door behind her, she cried out, "Why do mothers have to be so damn frustrating?"

Hearing the door slam, Bella came out of the kitchen to ask, "What's wrong?"

"I just had a fight with my mother over Embry staying the night," Leah answered angrily. "I'm almost 21 fucking years old and I still have to get my mommy's permission to have sex in my own room? Really?" Leah plopped herself down onto the couch as she huffed, "She knows we love each other. It's not like I'm some skank bringing home a different guy every night."

I watched the grimace on Seth's face as Leah said the word 'sex' and knew just what he was feeling as Bella sat down beside Leah to say, "Well, I hate to say it, but having some experience in this situation, it is her house, and she should have a say on what goes on. I mean, when Dad first found Jake in my room in his underwear after he spent the night with me, he kind of freaked and told Jake to sleep at home, and I understood that. It's his house, his rules."

"Yeah, but it didn't keep you from leaving the window open for me every night, " I reminded her with a grin.

"OK, I'm out of here. Let me know when you're done talking about all your sexcapdes and I'll come back," Seth huffed as he stomped over to rip open the front door and slam it behind him.

"What's with the runt?" Leah asked.

"Seriously, Leah? Would you want to sit here and listen to us talk about Seth having sex?" I asked.

"Yeah," she snorted. "Like that will ever happen."

"Whatever," I returned with an eyeroll. "Look Leah, I'm not getting in the middle of any argument with your mother over your sex life, but I think she has a point. Have sex with Embry if you want, but just don't do it right under her nose."

"Yeah, you can say that now that you have this nice, cozy house for you and your pregnant girlfriend to shack up together in," Leah shot back as she jumped off the couch. "I'm so sick of everyone else telling me what I can and can't do! I can't take it anymore, Jake! I feel like I'm going to explode!"

"Well, please don't do it here. Jared's dad just had the carpet cleaned," I deadpanned.

"Oooooh!" Leah screamed as she stomped to the door and tore it open then added, "I hate everyone on this fucking reservation!" before slamming the door behind her.

Looking over at Bella, I asked, "What did I say?"

Bella stood up to shake her head at me as she said, "Leah came here for some support and understanding, and all you can do is joke. How supportive is that, Jacob?" Then she turned on her heel and went into the bedroom and closed the door.

_What the hell? Leah comes here pissed off at the world, and now I'm in trouble? Man, I will never understand women._

Much, much later, Bella finally came out of the bedroom, where I peeked in earlier to see she was napping, to a clean living room. "Wow, where is everything?" she asked with a yawn.

"I finished unpacking the boxes and moved the furniture to where you said you wanted it. I'm not sure I put everything away just where you wanted it, so if you want it moved, just let me know," I told her.

"Thanks. That was really nice of you."

"Yeah, well, I'm not the stupid unsupportive male that some people think I am, you know," I pouted.

Bella smiled as she walked over to put her arms around my waist. "I know you're not. I'm sorry I called you unsupportive."

"Just so you know, I called Leah and apologized for not listening to her. I let her call me a jerk and listened as she ranted some more then I told her I would run her patrol tonight so she could spend some time with Embry. How's that for being supportive?"

Bella crooked her finger and whispered, "Come here, you." I leaned down to accept her tender kiss and hear her say, "You are the best."

"Yeah?" I smiled.

"Mmm, hmm," she purred against my cheek.

"You haven't heard the best part yet."

"What's that?"

"Since we haven't had a chance to get groceries yet, I called my sister and asked her to make her famous tuna noodle casserole that you love so much. She dropped it off and it is in the oven. Dinner will be ready in about 10 minutes."

"I am such a lucky woman," Bella told me with a grin before planting her lips on mine.

"Maybe a little later, you will get even luckier," I said as my lips grazed her neck.

"Oh, I hope so," Bella breathed as her hands entwined into my hair.

I kissed her lips again then tearing myself away from her, I said, "Come on. I finally found the box with the dishes in it, so you can set the table while I put on the can of green beans that Rach brought over with the casserole."

Bella nodded her agreement and we headed to the kitchen. Once everything was ready we sat down at our little table in the kitchen with the two matching chairs and ate our first dinner at home. As we ate, we debated on whether to get a real Christmas tree or a fake one.

"Growing up in Phoenix, we always had an artificial tree because real ones were so expensive.

"We always just go out into the woods and cut one down for free," I told her with a smile.

"Yeah, but we put it up right after Thanksgiving and leave it up until New Year's. You can't do that with a real tree."

"That's crazy, Bells," I countered. "Why do you put it up so early?"

"I don't know. For some reason, Mom _loves _Christmas. She starts playing her Christmas CD's in like October," Bella explained as she scooped up the last the noodles still on her plate and put them in her mouth. "Mmm, that is so good. I owe your sister."

Smiling, I told her, "No, you don't, I do. I already told her I'd change the oil in her car for making the casserole."

Bella laughed at that as she pushed back from the table and got up to put her plate in the sink. "Well, then I guess I owe you."

Picking up my empty plate, I stood to place it in the sink next to Bella's as I grinned and said, "Oooh, I like that you owe me." Snaking my arms around her waist, I brushed my lips against her neck and loved the shiver that it sent through her. "When can I expect this favor that you owe me?"

"How about . . . tonight?"

"Aren't you lucky? I just happen to be free tonight." Then I surprised Bella by scooping her up into my arms and capturing her lips in a long, passionate kiss before I carried her back to our bedroom. Setting her on her feet, I smiled and asked, "How about now?"'

"Now is good." I watched in excitement as Bella gave me the sexiest smile I had ever seen as she reached for the hem of my t-shirt, yanking it quickly over my head before running her hands down my chest and over my shoulders.

The rest of our clothes quickly disappeared and soon we were laying on our bed, side by side, skin touching skin, lips on lips . . . it was everything I had ever wanted. I knew then I was going to enjoy just living life with Bella and our baby. It was my dream come true.


	46. Chapter 45

**CHAPTER 45**

**Bella POV:**

Jacob and I settled into our little house in La Push and began the journey of living our lives together. At times it seemed surreal, and at other times, the most natural thing in the world. I stayed at home and readied our nest for our baby, while Jacob ran his patrols, worked in his dad's garage on another Harley and spent time with Jared's Dad, Chuck, on his idea about building more houses for the pack. He was really taking his job as Alpha seriously and I was very proud of him.

The two of us were becoming quite domestic . . . I would cook a nice dinner and then we would sit at the little table in the kitchen to eat and talk about our day, then we'd stand at the sink side by side to do the dishes before retiring to the couch to spend the rest of the evening watching some TV before bed. I teased Jake one night about us acting like an old married couple, but he didn't seem to think it was very funny. In fact, he stayed very quiet the rest of the night. We never really talked about marriage. I just always assumed that he wanted to get married, yet he never said a word about it. I, on the other hand, was very happy with the way things were.

A couple of weeks before Christmas, I insisted that I couldn't wait any longer to get a tree, so on a gray Saturday afternoon, Jacob and I trudged into the woods to find a tree.

"Are you sure we can't just drive into Forks and buy one at the tree lot by the grocery store? That's where Dad got his and it's a nice one," I whined after 15 minutes of tripping over tree roots and freezing my ass off. I looked up at the gray sky and thought, _At __least __it's __not __raining __. __. __. __yet._

"Are you serious? No, I will not pay fifty bucks for some skinny, pathetic looking Charlie Brown tree. There are plenty of good trees right here," Jacob countered. Then he stopped to look at me and add, "Come on, Bells. Sing a Christmas carol or something. Get into the Christmas spirit!"

With a roll of my eyes, I began singing, "Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg . . ."

"Very funny," Jacob shot at me as he turned to continue his trek to find the perfect tree. I had to smile when I heard him start whistling _Jingle__Bells_.

After another ten minutes or so, I heard him say, "Hey, look at this one."

Jacob stopped so abruptly, I ran into the back of him. "Umph. Jake!"

Turning back, he smiled, "Uh, sorry. But look at this tree. I think this is the one."

Walking around him, I took a look at the nicely shaped pine tree standing proudly in front of me. It was just as tall as Jake, so it had to be about 6 foot 4 or 5, and circling it, I couldn't see any big holes that would have to be turned to the wall.

"So?" Jake prompted.

"I like it. But how do we know there isn't a family of squirrels living in it? Remember the movie, _Christmas __Vacation_ where the squirrel jumps out of the tree?"

"Would you stop basing real life on everything you see on TV or in the movies?" Jacob laughed at me before sighing, "I will check it for squirrels, I promise."

Finally giving him a smile, I replied, "OK. This is the one. Now chop it down, Paul Bunyan, so we can go home and have hot cocoa," I added, rubbing my hands together and blowing some hot air on them to warm them.

Jacob did his best lumberjack impression, and soon we were making our way back to the truck dragging the tree behind us. I had already made a trip into town to get a tree stand and some ornaments and lights, so when we arrived back at the house, Jacob hauled the tree in and had it up in no time.

I opened the boxes of ornaments while Jacob strung the lights on the tree, and as Christmas music played in the background, I once again found myself very thankful that he never gave up on me. I could have missed out on all this . . . then suddenly, I felt a movement in my belly. "Oh, wow," I breathed.

"Yeah, I think it will look pretty good," Jacob commented as he stepped back to view his progress with the lights.

"No, not the lights," I clarified. "I just felt the baby move."

Jacob's eyes lit up just like they did every time I mentioned the baby. He quickly dropped the lights and came to sit on the couch with me. "Yeah? Can I feel it yet?"

I was now six months pregnant and my stomach was rounding and sticking out quite a bit more, but so far, only I could feel the baby. "I don't know. You can try. Here, give me your hand." I took Jacob's hand and placed it where I had felt the baby move just seconds before. We waited patiently for a full minute then as I looked up to see the disappointment in Jacob's face, I felt it again.

Jacob's disappointment turned to glee in a second as he shouted out, "I felt it! I felt the baby move!" Just seeing the joy in Jacob's eyes brought tears to my own. I again was feeling very lucky. Looking up at me, I think I saw a glimmer of a tear in Jacob's eye as he said in awe, "That was so amazing."

"Yeah, it was," I agreed slowly with a nod of my head. Then a smile curved onto my lips and before long, I saw Jacob grin then a gurgle of laughter escaped my lips and soon Jacob joined in. I couldn't ever remember a time that I felt so much joy that it bubbled out of me in the form of laughter. As Jacob pulled me into his loving arms I melted into him and thanked God once again for giving me this wonderful man. 

"Are you sure, Bella? Embry likes my hair down," Leah said as she looked into the mirror. She was seated on a chair in her bedroom, and I was standing behind her, trying my best to put her hair up. Tonight was the big Holiday Dance, and Embry had finally talked her into going with him.

"I know, but tonight when you're dancing, he can lean down and run his lips along your shoulder and up to your ear . . . " I stopped and smiled into the mirror at her.

A slow smile curved onto Leah's lips as she nodded, "Yeah, I might like that."

"I know you will." I continued curling hair and gathering it up and securing it with pins until I thought it didn't look too bad. I had never done this before, so I went to the internet, of course, where I learn everything I need to know, and watched a video of a woman showing how to do this hairstyle. After watching it at least ten times, I decided to try it, and now, I was glad I did. "I think it looks very glamorous, Leah."

Leah turned her head back and forth and I held a small hand mirror up so she could see the back. The front was swooped to the side, and I had pulled out a section of her bangs then secured them with a rhinestone clip that matched her dangling earrings. "I guess. I'm not used to looking so . . . "

"Sexy?" I supplied.

"Yeah. Are you sure it's not too much?" she asked.

"I think it's beautiful," we heard from behind us as Sue walked into the room. "Look at you, Leah. Embry won't know what hit him."

I had to laugh at that. Embry was in for a shock. Leah's dress was enough to give him a heart attack, but with the hair and the make up . . . well, he was really going to be the envy of every guy there.

Leah rolled her eyes at her mom as she stood up to say, "I just hope he appreciates all this effort for a stupid dance."

"Now, Leah. Don't start that again," Sue scolded lightly. "This is important to him. You can stand it for one night."

I smiled at Leah and watched as she rolled her eyes once again as Sue asked, "Are you sure about that dress? It's kind of . . . sexy, isn't it?"

It was. The dress Leah picked was short, mid-thigh, tight fitting and jet black. It was a halter style, hooking behind her neck, and dipped low enough in the front to show some cleavage. "Well if I'm going to go to this thing, I want to make a statement."

"Oh you'll make a statement all right," I commented.

"Yes, it's what kind of statement I'm worried about," Sue added.

"Come on, Mom. I'm 21 years old and going to a high school dance. How pathetic is that?" Leah stopped to spray some perfume then added, "At least I want to look 21 and not blend in with all the other little girls."

"Well, you won't blend in, that's for sure," Sue said just as we heard the doorbell ring downstairs. "I guess I'll go let Romeo in."

As Sue left the room, Leah slipped into her black heels and looked at me. "Well?"

"You look great, Leah. Just let me get downstairs first so I catch see Embry's face. I'll make sure Jake is behind him to catch him when he faints."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Leah practically growled. "Let's just get this over with."

I hurried downstairs to find Embry standing with Jacob and Sue. "Wow, look at you," I said in awe. "You clean up pretty good, mister."

Embry was dressed in a black suit that he borrowed from Jared's dad. His mom bought him a dark red shirt and black and red striped tie and I had to say, he looked really handsome. "Yeah, I didn't think it turned out too bad," Embry answered as he held out the corsage in his hand and then asked, "Is this OK?"

It was a red rose corsage on a wrist band. "Yes, it's very pretty. Good choice. I hope you're ready for this," I warned him. "Leah looks stunning."

"Yeah?" he asked hopefully.

"Can I come down now?" we heard Leah whine from upstairs.

"Just a second! I'm getting the camera ready," Sue shouted back.

I moved to stand beside Jacob as Sue held the camera up and hollered, "OK. Come on down."

My eyes were glued to Embry's face as Leah descended the stairs. I heard him gasp as I watched his face go from shock to excitement to maybe even a little lust. "Wow, Leah. You look . . . _fucking__awesome_." Then realizing what he said, he turned quickly to Sue and said, "Oh sorry. I mean . . . "

"No, Embry. I think you got it right," Sue said with a grin.

Leah smiled as she said to Embry, "You don't look so bad yourself."

"Thanks," Embry said quietly, as he was still quite stunned at the Leah standing before him.

A minute went by until finally Leah asked, "You gonna give me that flower or are you going to carry it around with you?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," Embry replied, as he tore his eyes from Leah's face to look down at the corsage in his hand. "Um, it goes on your wrist."

Leah held out her hand and let Embry slide it on then she smiled up at him, "Thank you. It's really nice."

"OK, let me take a couple of pictures then you two need to get going," Sue ordered.

With a sigh, Leah stood next to Embry and looked at Sue as she encouraged them to smile. I looked over at Jacob and caught him staring at Leah. As I nudged him, he jumped and then turned his head to me. "Like what you see?" I teased.

"Uh, sorry. I am . . . I am just amazed. She really looks . . . um . . . "

"Yeah, I know. I doubt they make it all the way to the dance without stopping somewhere to have sex first," I whispered.

That made Jacob laugh out loud and Leah demand, "What's so damn funny, Jacob?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. You look gorgeous. Now smile for the camera." Then turning to me, he elbowed me and ordered me to behave.

Finally the pictures were done and Sue told them to have fun before going back to the kitchen to finish dinner for her and my dad as he had called earlier and said he was on his way. I watched as Jacob left my side to walk over to Leah and say, "You look hot, Leah. Better be careful. I don't want Embry getting the shit kicked out of him fighting over you."

That made Leah snort, "Yeah, whatever."

"I mean it. You look really . . . beautiful. Please try and have some fun."

Leah looked over at Embry and smiled then said to Jacob, "I will. I promise."

"Good. Now get out of here you two crazy kids," Jacob added as he ushered them to the door. "And Embry, you lucky dog, don't forget to get her home by midnight or she'll turn into a pumpkin."

"The coach turns into a pumpkin, dork," Leah huffed. "If you're going to make a Cinderella reference, please get it right."

"Whatever," Jacob sighed. "Go. Get out of here."

Once they left, Jacob closed the door and smiled, "Kids. They grow up so fast."

I walked over to wrap my arms around his waist and say, "Yeah, just think. It won't be long before we'll be doing this with our own kids."

"Yeah, right. Like you think I would let any daughter of mine walk out of here looking like that? Over my dead body," Jacob said gruffly.

I had to laugh at that. "I hate to tell you this, Dad, but you probably won't have any say in it. Girls are like that."

"Not my daughter," Jacob pouted. "She will love her Daddy so much, she won't ever look at any of those nasty boys."

"Well, come on, nasty boy. I'm tired and I want to go home," I told him.

That brought a smile to his lips. "Me, too. Let's go." 

Later that night, as we lay in bed, I got to thinking about how much my life had changed in the last year. I was all set to marry Edward and live out eternity with him. I never in a million years could have imagined that by Christmas, I would be living with Jacob and expecting his baby.

Thinking back, I remembered how important it was to Edward that we get married and how dead set against it I was. Marriage was something I thought I never wanted. It hadn't worked out so well for my parents, and I didn't really see the need for it. Jacob and I were happy living here together. I didn't see how a piece of paper and a ring would make any difference.

But, as I lay here beside Jacob, the man I loved, his arms wrapped around me and I felt our baby move inside me, suddenly, all I could think of was being married. Of being Jacob's wife . . . making that commitment to him that said "I love you and only you for as long as we both shall live." I wanted our baby to know that it had two parents that were committed to each other and wanted to be a family.

"Jacob?" I asked. "Are you awake?"

"Hmmm?" I heard him hum in my ear. "You OK?"

I blurted out, "I want to get married."

That woke him up. "What? Are you serious?" Jacob asked as he pulled on my shoulder to roll me onto my back so he could see my face.

"Yes, I am," I answered.

"Where is this coming from? I thought you hated the idea of marriage."

"I thought I did, too," I began. "I mean, it didn't work out so well the first time." I saw him cringe at the mention of my marriage to Edward. We never talked about it . . . ever. "Marriage to me was just a formality. An excuse to spend a lot of money on some fancy party and get free gifts, you know? I never knew anyone that had a happy one. But, now . . . well, now I feel so different. I want to be your wife, Jacob. I want to belong to you, and only you, as long as we both shall live." As I placed my hand on his cheek, I added, "I want us to be a family . . . a real family."

I could see that Jacob was still somewhat stunned by my announcement as he just stared at me for a second or two until he whispered, "Are you sure?"

"Yes. More sure than I have ever been about anything. I love you, Jacob, with all my heart. Will you marry me?"

Again, there was silence. Suddenly, I felt my stomach churning as I waited for his answer. I always assumed that Jacob wanted to get married. Now as I laid here beside him and waited, I wasn't so sure. "Jake?" I prompted.

I watched with disappointment as Jacob crawled from the bed and quickly left the room. That was definitely not the reaction I was expecting. Sighing, I sunk back into the pillows and thought that maybe it was too soon. I had only been divorced from Edward for a couple of months . . . or maybe it was Carly. He would be her stepfather . . . maybe that was something he wasn't ready to deal with.

I lay there torturing myself until finally, a few minutes later, Jacob came back into the room and turned on the light beside the bed before easing himself down to sit beside me. As I sat up and looked at him, I noticed he had something in his hand, but I couldn't quite make out what it was.

Then Jacob held out his hand and said with a tender smile, "Merry Christmas."

There on his hand was a small box wrapped in Christmas paper. "What? I ask you to marry me, and you give me a present and say Merry Christmas? What's going on here?"

"Just open it."

I took the box and tore at the paper and as it fell away, I realized what I was holding. It was small box from a jewelry store. A ring box. Quickly, I looked up into Jacob's eyes. He just smiled and once again said, "Open it."

I pushed open the box then sucked in my breath as I saw this beautiful white gold ring sitting on a bed of black velvet, with a nice size square cut diamond winking back at me. "Oh my God . . . Jacob."

"I know it's not big and fancy, but . . ." he began until I put my hand to his mouth to stop him.

"It's perfect," I said softly. And it was. It was big enough to be beautiful, but not too big to be showy. It was nothing like my last engagement ring . . . something I felt that was never mine. This was . . . perfect.

Jacob took the ring from me then held my left hand in his as he gazed into my eyes and said, "I planned on proposing on Christmas Eve. I wasn't sure what your answer would be, but I knew how much I wanted it and I hoped that maybe, just maybe, you would too. I love you, Bells, more than life itself, you know that. You and this baby are everything to me. And I want that commitment . . . I want to belong to you as long as we both shall live. Bella, I love you, and yes, I want to marry you." Then with a smile, he slid the ring onto my finger.

Staring at the diamond ring on my finger, I felt the baby move. "I guess Junior approves," I told Jake with a smile as I took his hand and put it on my belly. As we sat there on our bed, feeling our baby move, I knew that this was right. This was what I wanted . . . what I had been waiting for all my life. Looking up, I said with a smile, "I guess I kind of ruined your big surprise moment, huh?"

A slow grin grew on Jacob's face as he replied, "No. I was really pretty nervous about it. I was so afraid you'd say no, I was making a list of arguments to counter whatever you might throw at me."

That made me laugh. "Really?"

"Yeah. You blew me away tonight. Never in a million years did I expect you to propose to me."

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I told him softly, "Well, I'm glad I did. I love you, Jacob."

Pulling me close he whispered into my ear, "I love you, Bells. So much." As his lips traveled down my neck, I felt that familiar shiver run through me that only Jacob could cause. Soon, his lips found mine and as he laid me back against the pillows, I surrendered to the feeling of being completely loved and desired. I relished the feeling of his strong hands on my body, making my skin feel electrified every where he touched. I let my hands travel over his muscular shoulders and back, feeling every dip and kneading them with my fingers. I moaned as his mouth found my breast, his tongue swirling over the tip. Soon I was in a frenzy, needing that release that only Jacob could bring. "Jake, please . . . I need you."

Agonizingly, Jacob kissed his way up my body until finally, he was on top of me, in position to enter me, and then . . . "Yessssss," I purred into his ear as he pushed slowly into me, filling me up and making me feel whole. Moving slowly at first to build the moment, I rode along with him, raking my fingers through his hair until he moved faster, taking me with him until I was wrapped around him and begging, "Yes, please . . . yes, faster, oh Jake, yessss . . . yessss!" . . . then the explosion inside that led to pure bliss.

As I came down from my high, I felt Jacob jerk with his release as he hissed, "Oh Bella, yessssss."

We clung to each other, our bodies slick with sweat, as we panted for air. Jacob looked into my eyes and whispered, "I want this for the rest of my life, Bells."

Smiling at him, I confessed, "Me, too."

Taking my left hand in his, Jacob brought it to his mouth and put a kiss on top of the ring that now sat on my fourth finger. "We'll be happy, Bells. I promise. I'll love you forever."

With a shake of my head, I corrected him. "No, Jake. Not forever." I had been offered forever once, and it wasn't what I wanted. "But as long as we both shall live, which I hope is a very long time."

I could see by the smile on Jacob's face that he understood. He knew. "Maybe 70 or 80 years?"

"We'll see," I answered softly as my hands snaked around his neck. "Kiss me, Jake."

"Mmm, I love when you're bossy," Jacob sighed as his lips met mine. As I once again melted into him, I knew we would be happy. It wouldn't be perfect. I knew there would be bumps in the road that we would have to get over, but I felt like together, we could handle anything. Jacob and I were a team . . . he didn't call all the shots, make all the decisions. He let me be who I was and didn't try to change me. He was my soul mate in every way, and I would spend the rest of my life showing him how much I loved him.

My decision to marry Jacob led me to believe that finally . . . FINALLY, I had made the right choice.

_**A/N: Awwww . . . those of you who have read my stories before should know that I love a happy ending. But wait . . . there's more! Please read the Epilogue that follows! ;)**_


	47. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE - One Year Later**

**Bella POV:**

"Caleb Ephraim Black!" I cried in exasperation at my adorable baby as he crawled across the floor away from me as fast as his little chubby legs would go, bare butt in the air, as I tried to put a clean diaper on him. "Jacob! Naked baby on the loose!"

"Got him!" Jacob called out as he came from the kitchen, carrying 9-month old Caleb in his arms. It was like watching Jake carry a miniature version of himself. Caleb had the same shock of black hair and dark smiling eyes that Jacob had. "Are you giving your mom fits?" I heard him ask Caleb as he tickled his belly. Caleb just giggled as Jake set him down on the floor. "Here, let me do it," Jacob said as he took the diaper from me.

I watched as Jacob expertly put the diaper on Caleb then continued to dress him in the little dress shirt and pants I had picked out, adding socks and tying on the shoes before he picked him up and said, "There you go, mister. Now behave for your mom." I smiled as Caleb laid his head on his father's massive shoulder before giving me one of those "I'm so cute you can't be mad at me" smiles that I had seen on Jacob's face so many times. They were definitely two peas in a pod.

"Look at you two," I sighed. "How did I get so lucky?"

Jacob just smiled and planted a kiss on my lips before saying, "Come on, lucky girl, we're going to be late. Get a move on."

"I know, I'll go get ready," I told Jake as I pushed myself off the floor to hurry to the bedroom to finish dressing. It was Christmas Eve and we were going over to my dad's to celebrate. He and Sue had gotten married over the summer, and Sue moved into the house in Forks with him, leaving Leah and Seth the house in La Push. Of course, as soon as he graduated, Embry found a job at the gas station in town, and moved in with Leah. Seth seemed OK with it, but I noticed he did a lot more night patrols than anyone else.

Stripping off the sweat pants and t-shirt that I was wearing, I took out the clothes I wanted to wear and threw them on the bed, then as I reached for my hairbrush on the dresser, I glanced at the picture of Jacob and I taken on our wedding day. I smiled as I remembered that snowy day in January just a week after Jacob's 18th birthday that we stood in front of the fireplace in my dad's house in front of our closest friends and family and said "I do." It wasn't a fancy planned affair this time . . . it was thrown together in a few days, but it turned out perfect. Instead of a huge designer gown, I wore a simple dress of evergreen, made to accommodate my every growing baby belly, and Jacob borrowed the same suit that Embry had worn to the Holiday Dance with a white shirt and evergreen tie. Carly was a perfect little flower girl, Emily made the wedding cake, Sue made food for a dinner and when Mom and Phil surprised me by showing up right before the ceremony, I knew the day would be everything I wanted.

We honeymooned at home, with Jacob handing over Alpha duties to Leah for the week, so we could have time to ourselves. It was a wonderful week, filled with making food together, watching movies, putting together the crib for the baby's room, sleeping for as long as we wanted and of course making love . . . a lot. I couldn't have asked for a better husband that my best friend.

As I brushed my hair, I noticed the small snapshot of Carly I had on the mirror, and was suddenly excited at the thought that Carlisle and Esme were coming to Dad's today and bringing Carly. I still missed her terribly, but they were good about bringing her here about once a month, and I had made several visits there after Caleb was born, so we were making it work. She had grown so much in a year . . . she was now the size of a four year old, but her maturity level was much higher. She was so smart, and learning everything that Carlisle could teach her. And Caleb loved her! She loved being a big sister and was so good with him. I loved to watch them play together. Billy was very concerned at first about letting Carly anywhere near Caleb, but after watching the two of them together, he finally backed off. Carly was very good at controlling her thirst, even amazing Carlisle. He assumed that being half human had something to do with it.

Now in a hurry, I threw on the pair of pants and the sweater I had laying on the bed, then slipped into shoes and moved to the bathroom to brush my teeth and add a little make up to my usual pale face. Once I finished, I left the room and called out, "Ready!"

Jake had already taken the presents to the truck, and after checking that I had everything I needed packed in Caleb's diaper bag, we were on our way. 

Walking into dad's house, we were greeted first by my mom, who immediately wrapped me into a smothering hug. "Oh honey, I missed you."

Telling Mom the truth about Carly last year at this time was so hard. Especially after she fainted when I introduced her to Carly! But when she regained her composure, and took the time to work through things, she was very happy for me and even flew back in March to be here with me when Caleb was born. Being a mother myself brought me closer to my own mother in a way I could never have imagined. And it felt so good to not have to lie to my parents any longer.

As soon as she let me go, Mom reached for Caleb and he went to her like he did with everyone. He was such a happy baby, most of the time, and loved to be around people. Not sure where he got that from, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't me!

I greeted Phil with a hug and proceeded on into the room to find my dad with Sue at his side. As I hugged them both, I was glad that Dad finally had someone to share his life with, even if it meant that I had Leah for a sister. And really . . . that was pretty nice, too. Looking over at Leah and Embry, who were of course snuggling in the corner away from the crowd, I had to smile. Leah was still Leah . . . bossy, mouthy . . . but happy enough to round out the rough edges. And when she was around Caleb, well . . . she was a ball of mush. I really hoped that she would get the chance someday to be a mother herself. I had the feeling she would be very good at it.

Dad left me and made a beeline for Jacob who was now holding Caleb again. I smiled as I watched him take Caleb into his arms and lift him above his head as Caleb giggled. Oh, how I loved the men in my life. They were the best.

"Hey, sis," I heard from behind me. Turning I found Seth standing there with a smile for me.

"Hey, little brother," I returned as I hugged him. Stepping back, I said, "You haven't been over for awhile to play with Caleb. Everything OK?" Caleb loved Seth, who usually came over at least a few times a week. Caleb asked for him every day.

"Oh yeah, sorry about that. I'll come over this week, I promise. I've just been . . . um, busy."

My eyes narrowed as I gave Seth a skeptical look. _Seth__busy?__Seth__was__never__busy.__Unless__.__.__._ "Yeah? What's her name?" I asked. As I watched the red creep over his face, I realized I was right. He met a girl.

Finally, he admitted, "India."

"India? That's an unusual name."

"Well, her dad was a merchant marine and he traveled around the world before coming back here, and I guess he liked that name, so . . . " he rambled until I smiled and said, "It's OK, Seth. I won't tease you like eveyone else. I think it's great. Can I meet her sometime?"

A grin broke out as he nodded, "Yeah. I'll bring her over later this week."

"Good."

Just then, I heard a knock on the door and my heart soared as I realized the only one not here yet was Carly. I moved toward the door, but Dad got there first and opened it then I heard Carly call out with excitement, "Grandpa!"

Dad immediately held out his arms to catch her and swoop her up for a kiss on the cheek. I felt tears sting my eyes for a moment as I watched the two of them. He was much gentler with Carly than with Caleb . . . not that he was rough with Caleb, but he would tickle him and make him laugh and call him "Grandpa's Boy." With Carly, he held her close and talked softly with her. It was very sweet.

Finally, Dad turned to me and said, "Here, Mama," as he handed Carly to me.

"Hey, baby girl. I missed you," I told her as I held her close, letting her soft ringlets tickle my nose as I took in her scent.

"I missed you, too, mama," Carly said into my ear as her little arms encircled my neck. "Merry Christmas."

I pulled back enough to look into her beautiful little face to say, "Merry Christmas, Carly." She gave me a brilliant smile then she spotted Jacob and Caleb and I could see that she wanted to run to them. "Why don't you go see Caleb while I say hello to Oma and Opa?"

Her little head bobbed up and down as I set her on her feet and watched her run to Jacob. As soon as Caleb spotted her, he squealed and Jacob bent down so they could hug each other. Again I felt the sting of tears as I watched both of my children so delighted to see one another. How I wished we could be a real family and live together, but I had resigned myself to the fact that would never be. Turning to Carlisle and Esme, I greeted them and thanked them for coming.

"Of course, we wouldn't miss it for the world," Esme assured me with a smile. I was still so amazed at how they loved me after what happened with Edward. Of course, none of us ever imagined Edward would do the despicable things he did. He had left Texas during the summer and Carlisle informed me that he was staying in Denali with Tanya. I kind of hoped that maybe he could find some solace there. They had a relationship of sorts in the past, and maybe they could again. I was so happy now in my own marriage that there was no jealousy. Only a want for Edward to find happiness like I had. Then maybe, just maybe, I could find a way to let him be a part of Carly's life again.

The door opened once again and I heard, "Sis! How ya doin?"

"Emmett! You're here!" I squealed, reminding myself of Carly as I hurled myself into his arms. I hadn't seen Emmett in months, as he had decided to take off by himself for awhile to try and heal.

"Wow, you missed me, huh?" Emmet grinned as he set me on my feet.

"Of course I did, you big dork," I told him as I punched him in the arm. "You are terrible at emailing and texting."

"Yeah, I know. But I didn't always have cell service in some of the remote places I visited. You won't believe the pictures I got! Wait til you see them." Emmett had always had an interest in photography. He had invested a lot of money in cameras and lens and tripods and loved to trek out into the wilderness to get nature shots when he wasn't spending time with Rosalie. I was so glad to see him pour himself back into it. As I took in the grin on his face, it seemed to be just what he needed. Especially after what he had been through with Rose.

Rosalie didn't do well after being banished to Texas. She stayed in the room assigned to her and refused to talk to anyone. Carlisle told me that Jasper tried to help by sitting with her, using his gift to try and comfort her, but she was still silent and despondent. Edward tried to read her mind, but when he was around, she just repeated "Go away" over and over in her head until finally he would leave her alone again.

Since Rosalie refused to hunt, after a few weeks, Jasper called Emmett and begged him to come and see her thinking that maybe he could get through to her. I remember him coming to me to ask what he should do, but before he could make up his mind, Jasper called back to tell him that Rose had disappeared! She left everything behind except her wallet and passport. Jasper and Peter tracked her through the woods, but her trail ended at the highway where they assumed she must have gotten a ride from someone.

Carlisle sent everyone out to look for her, but stayed at home with Esme and Carly just in case she showed up there. I was terrified she might try to steal Carly, but she didn't. No one saw her for months until one day in the summer, Emmett received a call from a friend that said he had spotted Rosalie in Paris . . . and she had a small child with her.

Emmett immediately flew to Paris and hunted her down to find out what she had done. Rosalie was shocked at seeing Emmett, but was happy to explain where she found her daughter, Christina. Apparently, when Rose left Texas, she had decided to go to Europe and start over. Her love for Carly had left such a hole inside, she decided that maybe she could work at an orphanage to help fill the loneliness. After finding a job at an orphanage in Russia, she was appalled at the conditions there. There was never enough food or milk or clean clothes . . . it sickened her.

But there was one child there that stole her heart . . . a little girl who was almost two, with blonde hair and blue eyes. The poor thing was starving and slipping away more every day, so one night, Rosalie left a huge check made out to the orphanage on the desk of the director and then she walked to the room where this little girl slept, she wrapped her in a blanket and stole her away.

Settling in Paris, Rosalie was raising the little girl as her daughter and according to Emmett, she was "happier than I have ever seen her." She asked Emmett to stay with her, and help her raise Christina, but Emmett just couldn't do it. Things just weren't the same for him, and he needed time to figure out what he really wanted. So he bid her goodbye and disappeared for four months.

Now he was here with us and looking more like his old self, which made me happy. "I promise to make time to look at pictures," I said before letting him go so he could find Carly and give her a hug, much to her delight. I laughed out loud as I watched him embarrass Jacob by picking him up and enveloping him in one of his famous bear hugs. Then Emmett bent down to greet Caleb, who was only five months old the last time he saw him. Caleb smiled and cooed when Emmett talked to him and even allowed Emmett to pick him up and hold him.

"Bella?" I turned to Dad as he asked, "Is it OK with you if we let the kids open some presents before we eat?"

I loved how all of a sudden, my father, the big strong sheriff in town, was like a little kid when it came to Christmas. "Yes, they can open some presents. I hope you didn't go overboard, Dad. You spoil them too much."

His eyes softened as he said, "I never thought I'd enjoy having grandkids so much. You have to let me spoil them a little."

I had to admit, I really loved watching him with my kids. I always hoped that it made up a little for all the times he missed with me. "Like I could stop you," I told him with a smile.

Dad put his arm around my shoulders as he shouted out, "Who wants to open a present?"

Of course he knew that Carly would jump up and answer, "Me, Grandpa! Me!"

Everyone laughed as Carly ran to Dad and he picked her up and took her to the large sparkling Christmas tree where gifts spilled out underneath it. Then my heart melted a little as I heard Carly ask, "Can Caleb open one first, Grandpa?"

"Of course he can," Dad answered as he turned to look at Caleb and say, "Come here, Caleb. Come see Grandpa."

Caleb crawled at lightening speed over to Dad as I walked over to sit on the floor between my two children. Soon, I felt Jacob sit down beside me and I turned to give him a smile. I looked up as Emmett moved close, and I saw the camera in his hand.

Suddenly I was a little overcome with emotion as I took in all the people around me . . . Dad and Sue, Mom and Phil, Leah and Embry and Seth, Carlise and Esme, Emmett, and finally Jacob, Caleb and Carly. This room was filled with the people that meant the most to me, and I felt so blessed to be here. As I watched Caleb sit on my Dad's lap and yank at the Christmas paper on his gift, I felt Jacob slide his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder. Caleb squealed in delight as he uncovered the big dump truck that Dad had given him. I heard Jacob chuckle at Caleb and watched as Carly helped clear the paper so he could push his truck on the floor.

"Are you happy, Mrs. Black?" I heard Jacob whisper in my ear.

Turning to face him, I whispered in return, "Yes, very." Then I kissed him on the lips and turned back to watch our children enjoy their gifts knowing that all the choices I had made led me to this day. It was a rough journey, but being here now, in this moment, I knew it had all been worth it. I was indeed, very happy.

**_A/N: I really had no where else for this story to go, so I thought I would end it here. Maybe someday in the future there could be a sequel, but for now, I decided they should just be happy. _**

**_The movie comes out in less than a month and I have decided to see it at the midnight show. I plan on trying to sit through it once, but I can't promise I won't gag or laugh at inappropriate times. I find it hard to believe that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison are romantically linked in real life as they are the most boring on screen couple I have ever seen! I just really hope that the scenes with Jacob, Leah and Seth aren't all CGI. The movies in the past have been all vampire and very little wolfpack, and that's just not right. Maybe someday, she'll do a series of books on the wolf pack! Wouldn't that be great?_**

**_OK, enough rant. Thanks again to everyone for your great reviews! This is the most I have ever received on any story, and I am most grateful. Now that I am done writing for a little while, I plan on doing some reading myself._**


End file.
